3 No Contact Mistakes That Your Ex Will Hate You For
— 3 No Contact Mistakes That Your Ex Will Hate You For.
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If you’re using the No Contact strategy to help win back your ex, then you’re going to want to watch this video all the way to the end, because I’m going to tell you about the 3 most common mistakes people make when employing No Contact… and why all 3 of them are going to anger your ex and hurt your chances of ever getting them back.
As you already know, I’m Brad Browning, and I’ve been a breakup coach for over a decade. My channel here on YouTube has over 60 million views and counting, and I’ve helped over 130,000 clients get through a breakup or win back their ex. In fact, I even helped to popularize the No Contact strategy and make it one of the most recommended tactics for getting a second chance with an ex… so, I know what I’m talking about on this topic, and I promise that you’ll regret making any of the 3 mistakes I’m about to cover.
Let’s start with the first mistake.
Mistake #1) Telling your ex you’re going to go “No Contact” and stop talking to them.
I don’t know why so many people feel the need to tell their ex that they plan to use No Contact. Maybe it’s because they want to warn their ex that they’re about to disappear… or maybe some people just think that you need to tell your ex that you’re going to stop talking to them for a while for this technique to be effective.
Either way, it’s absolutely NOT necessary, and in fact it’s usually a very bad idea. Typically, you do NOT need to let your ex know that you plan to go No Contact on them. Doing so is usually a big mistake, and it’s going to anger or upset your ex if you do tell them. From your ex’s perspective, hearing that you plan to just suddenly stop talking to them is going to be upsetting… they’ll wonder why you feel it’s necessary, and often they’ll think you’re doing it to ‘punish’ them or try to ‘get back’ at them for breaking up with you.
The only exception is in situations when you need to use my Clean Slate message template. This is only applicable if you’ve made a bunch of serious mistakes already — begging and pleading with your ex, for instance. If that describes your current situation, you can watch the full video on my website, BreakupBrad.com, to learn more about how and when to send the Clean Slate message to your ex. Otherwise, it’s almost always safe to begin your period of No Contact without telling your ex you’re doing it.
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Mistake #2) Being rude or ignoring important messages from your ex during No Contact.
OK, let me clear up one thing here: you should not always ignore every message your ex sends you during the 30 days of No Contact. Yes, many of your ex’s attempts to contact you can be safely ignored, and that’s what I recommend in many cases. If they’re reaching out just to say “whats up” or they’re sending you a late-night drunk text… those types of messages can and should be ignored, especially the first few times. After all, No Contact is intended to shut down as much communication with your ex as possible.
BUT… there are absolutely times where a reply is necessary. For example, if your ex is asking you something important or meaningful, you are likely going to have to respond to them or they’re eventually going to get angry. This applies especially to situations where you have kids together, live or lived together, etc… if your ex is asking you to pay a shared phone bill, telling you to pick up the kids from soccer practice, or asking you to return their favorite sweater… you will need to reply and take care of the issue or you risk blowback from your ex. You don’t have to reply right away, and you don’t have to make much small talk or turn their message into a back-and-forth conversation… just do whatever you need to in order to satisfy your ex’s request and then go back to No Contact.
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