The quicker you can learn the things listed above and start checking them off the list, the quicker you can find yourself in a position to start trying to rekindle your relationship. You need to start making progress in the right direction, and just throwing yourself into any action isn’t enough. You need to take the right steps at the right times in order to maximize your results.
Hi Desireen. Nope…you are not crazy! You just want to figure out how to make things feel better for yourself and improve your chances. Its OK that you may have made some mistakes. He made plenty to. We all do. What matters is going forward and what you do. So its good to have an ex recovery plan, both for yourself and also doing things to optimize your chances of getting your ex back. My program is all about that. Go to my site’s home page to learn more about my ebooks, tools, resources, and many other things!
WELCOME! My Name is Ed Fisher and I can save your marriage. I’m not a marriage counselor or any type of relationship professional. I call myself an expert, however, because I know how to save a marriage after going through tough times myself and after my own marriage was almost destroyed by marriage counseling. I was able to turn things around in my own marriage and I want to show you the tools that worked for me so you can save your marriage too.
You have the attraction back by this point already from the previous steps, so most of what you need to do now is just get out of your own way, and let the getting-back-together process happen on its own. In other words, you need to know what mistakes to AVOID, to prevent yourself from sabotaging the getting-back-together process, which is supposed to happen fairly naturally after the first 7 steps.
It is natural to feel scared about going up to someone who has rejected you. You may be worried that he won't talk to you, won't be friendly and perhaps won't answer any questions you may have. All of this is natural and normal. If you really want to approach him to ask him something, consider going with a friend you can rely on and perhaps having them doing some of the talking on your behalf. Choose somewhere neutral and calm, and have a good excuse to leave quickly if things seem too awkward for you, such as "Thanks for the quick chat, I have to get to an appointment now". Most of all, realize that if you don't get the answers or discussion you'd hoped for, that it's not a reflection on you, as you've shown much courage, but is about your ex-boyfriend's method of dealing with the situation in his own way and isn't a slur on you.
There was this guy I really liked and he liked me so he asked me out. We were together and it was all going really good…..One day we got in our first fight and he broke up with me and I never knew why. I’m trying to get back together with him. There is this guy and he flirts with me from time to time in front of my ex and he turns red and gets jealous I guess, but he never talks to me..But he stares at me. I try to get in contact with him and everything but he shows no interest to talk to me…..I’m just confused
He broke up with me first: he said that it was because he felt like we didn’t have a future together, that it felt impossible that i learned the language ( which i was doing), that I was asking for too much of his time, that he didn’t feel like he could do all the things he wanted with his friends. but I couldn’t accept it, I wanted to fight for the love we had, so much, I negociated, I asked for more time, I begged, I told him that if he still loved me it would be worth it. after a day of speaking he said ok. A week after I asked him again ( because I was afraid and I had been walking on eggshells all week), he said that he still had that feeling that we wouldn’t be together forever, but he told me he loved me and he really wanted to work for it, to work on it and make it work! ( i was so happy!)
Italiano: Riconquistare la Tua Ex, Português: Conseguir Seu ou Sua Ex de Volta, Deutsch: Deine Ex zurück gewinnen, Français: reconquérir son ex, Русский: вернуть своего бывшего, 中文: 与你的前男友或前女友重新开始, Nederlands: Je ex terugwinnen, Čeština: Jak získat svoji bývalou dívku zpět, Español: recuperar a tu ex, 日本語: 別れた恋人とよりを戻す, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Mantan Pacar Anda Kembali, العربية: استعادة شريكك السابق, ไทย: ได้แฟนเก่ากลับมา, Tiếng Việt: Giành lại người yêu cũ, 한국어: 전 애인과 다시 결합하는 방법, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स को वापस पायें, Türkçe: Eski Sevgili Nasıl Geri Kazanılır
I am blessed with the man I have by my side and I think like he is more than what I would have Imagined. Since the beginning, I have felt that it is a relationship brought by God. Lately, there has been a lot of overhinking on my side which has caused anxiety, fears and doubts. I cry thinking that i have to break up with him, and there is NO reason why. I pray that God turns this story around and keeps on blessing us on th epath that we are taking. We have been saving ourselves for marriage, and it has been two years with a lot of love. I pray that Saint Jude will intercede for us and remove all of my doubts and fears so I can enjoy the relationship we have and keep persuing God through it.
Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of.
Just a heads up as this is an extremely important section. Remember when we talked abut how you are going to implement the no contact rule for about a month (30 days?) Yes, well you are not going to just sit on your butt and twiddle your thumbs during this time. No, you are going to work towards your goal of a new and better relationship by focusing on the one thing you can control, yourself!
How long does it take for him to contact you. Me and my Ex of four ex broke up three weeks ago bc of constant fighting even though we both admitted we still loved each other and one week after the fight he starts hanging out and dating this troll. i contacted once to be a psycho path and then after I apologized and I told him I was happy for him and I hope he gets to be happy.

Regardless of how a relationship ends, all breakups result in the same thing: Every guy on the planet -- seriously, every f*cking guy -- will wait until their exes have moved on from their relationships to want their exes back. This fact is so universally predictable that women anticipate and LIVE for the day when they have moved on and feel unaffected by their ex-boyfriends' efforts to win back their love. We basically fantasize about it.

The first mistake to avoid would be to start a discussion about potentially getting back together. YOU as the man should NEVER be the one to START a conversation about that. Because if YOU bring that up, it indirectly tells your ex that you don’t have other dating options in your life that are on HER mate-value level… Since if you did have such options, then why would you be so eager to start a discussion with her about getting back together?
In the dating world, before a guy asks a woman to go out with him, he knows he has to give her a reason to say yes. He has to give her some attention, show her he is interested in her, behave like someone she might like to be with. If a woman wants a man to ask her out, she has to give him a reason to ask by showing interest in him. And if she does the asking, she has to give him a reason to say yes. This principle also applies in marriage, especially when the relationship is in trouble. That person may be your spouse, but that isn’t enough of a reason for him/her to want to be around you. In a perfect world it might be. But in this imperfect world everyone needs help from their spouse to maintain attraction and interest.
Getting an ex back in your life isn’t rocket science, and it doesn’t require an underground lab and years of careful planning. The less you do to make your goal a reality, the better off you’ll be. How often do you miss the people that you see every day? Do you spend a lot of time missing the people that you just spent all day around? Probably not. Do you miss your co-workers when you leave the office for the day even though you will see them tomorrow? Missing someone requires an absence and if there’s no absence, you can’t miss them.
After being in relationship with my husband for nine years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is doctorogul@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.
so Ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year, just a week before the anniversary he ended it. ive been trying to stop crying but i simply cant. specially the fact that many thing remind me of the good memories i had with him. he was the first real bf i had, and i was his first relationship. so having mistakes and some arguments were normal i think, so i neglected them. the good thing about him was that even after the times it was my mistake and he was hurt, we spent the night crying and apologizing and saying i was sorry, and the day after that he was totally normal. the longest time that we didnt talk was like 24 hours coz he had no reception in the mountains. the real question for me is that the usual relationship tips never worked on him. playing hard to get, staying out of touch or trying to make him jealous would just make him say: ” stop that… i know what you’re doing!” even in the beginning of or dating and after we knew each other well, i knew he was somehow different. you know he was like 50 shades, not the crazy kinky side of him of course but the part where he took care of me and protected me. despite his age, hes been working for long and its been almost two years that he provides for his family. he pays for the mortgage, buy food and all that. and he also goes to college in another city. he does not party like boys his age do and all the other boyish stuff. from the start, we both kinda knew that we cant last forever. i live in a country that family matters the most and in that part we were the opposite. but we are too young ( 22 ) for getting married or something like that, and i know that you might say im too young for being hopeless of finding someone else. the fact is, arranged marriages kinda rule in my family ( i live in middle east if u need to know) and its not just underestimating myself but im short ( 5 feet only ) my hair wont grow longer than my shoulder, my noes is too big in my face, and believe me, i have consulted with different doctors about my problems, but they need solutions or surgeries that my dad wont let me do. even my mom says im not beautiful. my sister mocks my face and body. let alone people in college and so on. im in a family that love and support does not exist, and coz im not that fun and outgoing because of my economic situation, i cant really go out with my girlfriend much. so im asking you this, coz Ive been asking myself: whats the harm? now that im alone i can understand how much the breaking up hurts, and i know that if it went on longer, it would have been even worse. but considering all those things i told you, isnt he the best for me right now? and considering the fact that he always acts different, and also kinda mannish despite of his age, how can i get him back? its our anniversary in a few days, and his birthday in 3 weeks. would that be okay if i contact him in those days?
When negative things happen, avoid being critical or contemptuous. Don’t say things that begin with “You never…,” “You always…,” or (my favorite) “You’re such a…” Calmly explain why you see the situation, not the spouse, as negative, and why it upsets you. In the ensuing conversation don’t get defensive, but don’t refuse to talk, either. Inject a little positivity into the conversation or argument. For example, try a little humor to lighten up the situation a bit, if you think your spouse would be receptive. If the humor backfires, simply be honest and explain that you want to diffuse the tension and you really don’t want to fight.
Remember that she has a reason for leaving you. In her mind, those reasons are valid no matter how stupid they may seem on the surface to you or anyone else. If you start groveling at her feet begging for another chance, she’ll feel like her reasons for leaving were correct and that she made the right choice. The last thing you want to do is give her the impression that she really can do better.
Be honest with each other. Being honest is a kind of vulnerability, and by being honest with your partner, you show that you trust him or her. Try opening up about what you're thinking and feeling. When you're vulnerable, you're inviting your partner in and asking him or her to be equally as honest. However, it's important to continue using "I" statements to tell how you feel instead of blaming the other person.[11]
Spending time apart and giving your ex-girlfriend space is an important step in the how to win an ex back process. After a breakup, it’s clear that your ex’s feelings for you have gone stale, such that ANYTHING you do other than give her some time and space (even things that ACTUALLY WILL WORK to get her back later on!), would have a negative impact AT this early stage.

Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.
You need to make him feel terrible for breaking up with you. He should feel like a dumbass for letting you go. That's what you need to make him feel like if you want to get him back. You won't get him back by spying and stalking him (stop checking his Facebook every 2 minutes), but by making him remember all the great times you had together, and making him imagine how nicer life could be if you were still together.
Me and my girlfriend just broke up yesterday night and on top of that we argued big time that night… I know she really feels for me but we butt heads like crazy and maybe it’s because I don’t like when I know she’s right. We’ve been together for 3 years but it seems like we were rushed into being together because my friends were jealous and a lot of lies were spilled! Eventually me and her pulled each other together because of the chaos. We didn’t get a chance to be friends and like stuff about each other. We didn’t get a chance to be boyfriend and girlfriend. She’s been there for me so much but she think I don’t appreciate because the last 2 years we have argued a LOT! Please help. She wants the old me back, the one she first meet. I need tips on how we can get back together and I’m a better person for her.
If you think that by being friends with your ex, you can stay in their lives and hopefully get back together again, you are just plain wrong. By being friends you are not giving yourself and your ex enough time and space to heal. Not to mention, you will probably end up getting friendzoned by your ex. You could end up listening to your ex complaining about their new lovers (cue : Ex-girlfriends)  or they might propose being friends with benefits (cue: Ex-boyfriends).
This will immediately trigger the same reactions in your ex-girlfriend that accepting the breakup from the beginning would have had. She’ll want to know exactly what triggered your change of heart and whether or not you’re getting on with your life. Your ex is counting on the chase, even if she’s not ready to restart a relationship with you. You’re reversing roles and making her want to chase you instead.
For example:- People make EX-bf/gf their best friend. When their past relationship didn't work. Suppose, Your boyfriend has a problem of you talking to your EX even on an occasional basis. And comes up with a solution and tells you "do not talk to him". Then you have to simple respect your partner and stop talking to your EX even if he is your friend now.

Dated my ex bf for 1 year and 6 months, long story short we broke up cause we couldnt communicated with each other. I ended up in the ER with an asthma attack and he found out. He called me all worried and I told him I was fine. (It had been about 2 weeks since we had broken up that this had happened). Same week he calls me again to see how I’m feeling and that night I find out he’s talking to another girl. I call him up and tell him to fuck off and then he and that girl got into a fight cause a mutual friend of ours was telling this girl what my ex said to me when we broke up….telling me he was gonna realize hes wrong and come back. He calls me on black friday after thanksgiving and wants to see and talk to me. I see him that saturday and we catch up and yup…have sex. bad i know…anyways he then says he wants to try and work on things and give me a second chance. im thrilled. So less than a week goes by and on wednesday i go and see him and it was raining pretty bad so i had to stay over and we had sex again…it was not a good idea but i love this man so much…he calls me friday to tell me that he needs more time and doesnt know if he wants to work on us. He says he sees changes in me and thats what i had to do for myself….but also for him. I want him to come back to me so much. I love him.

I was just diagnosed with this. (BPD) my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me because I pushed him away. I was so scared of the thought of losing him, I lost him. For 2 months he said “you’re driving me nuts. If you don’t stop blowing me up and checking up on me, we’re going to break up. Is contacting me now worth losing me for the rest of our lives?” He told me I made him do it and now says there will never be an “us” again. No more contacting him, social media efforts, and no talking to his friends again. He said if I didn’t leave him alone, he’d get a restraining order. I want him back so badly and don’t know what i can do to know that I’ve realized what I did wrong and can and will give him his space; though I’ve promised it several times before. I know he’s the one for me and its killing me knowing that everything could’ve been different if I would have just listened. I knew what to do…STOP. But my insecurities wouldn’t let me put down my phone and blow him up. Now I can’t contact him…I don’t know what to do.
I’m in the process of a divorce but have been seeing a guy for about two months, me and my husband are still in the same house while waiting for it to sell and I’m getting verbal abuse constantly, he wound me up saying my new guy had been bragging about me with his friend, I freaked out and had a go at my new guy and he doesn’t even know my husband so it wouldn’t have been true but with all the mental abuse I get I flipped out and questioned my new guy. He got tremendously hurt by this as he’s had a messy divorce in the past and was accused of alot of things that weren’t true, he said he can’t go through all that sort of stuff again and said I need to get away from my husband and clear my head of all the hate I’m feeling at the moment, he said he’s sorry but he doesn’t want us to carry on because of this. I’m heartbroken, we’ve only been together a very short while but for the first time in years I’d found some one who made me feel special, I’m devastated and I don’t know what to do, is there anything I can do to try and get him back or have I totally destroyed everything? I had messaged him a few times but only got negative responses 😢 thanks Nicky x
Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. However, I don’t like the phone for a lot of reasons. First off, it doesn’t give you time to think. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. Not to mention he still may be a little resentful about the break up.
My ex-boyfriend and I have been together for a year and two months. Recently he told me that he is conflicted over him wanting to be with men and wanting to be with me. We spent all our time together and he always took care of me and wrote me sweet cards during our relationship. He told me he was struggling with reaching out to other men and felt like doing so during our relationship would be hurting me. He told me that he cares for and loves me but that he needed time to find out what he wanted and that he would come back to me if he isn’t gay and things aren’t good like what we have. He also said there is nothing I did but that he feels different. He’s been in several relationships with women but I’m his first for everything. I’m 22 and he is 21 and I have had more relationships than him. He feels like he hasn’t explored everything and doesn’t know himself well enough.
What did i do? well… its pretty simple. I guess i figured we had been going out for a little bit so we were on the same comfort level. I was wrong. I asked her through text what she thought about sending nudes (naked pictures). I didnt force her or anything to send them. I had clearly offended her as she didnt take it lightly and got mad. She had told me that everything was alright after so i thought this would just pass. Til the next morning…
Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
He needs to desire you, a lot. Be sexy and provocative, but don't sleep together the first time you meet to “catch up” and see whether he also wants to get back together or not. Let him think about you. Drop a hook, and make him feel horrible when he sees how much you've improved, how well you are doing, how sexy you look and how your life is taking another direction. Don't try to fake it. He knows you and he'll know whether you're full of crap or not.

Make a list of your differences and disagreements. Marriage struggles aren’t always related to major events, like cheating or heated arguments. You can't move forward if you don't know what's keeping you back, so take an honest look at your relationship issues. Try to be specific instead of listing things like “we don’t get along.” Ask yourself (and discuss with your spouse) focused questions, such as:[1]
My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago, this article really kinda helped, when we broke up he was always hanging out with his friend while I was working my but off, and then when I didn’t have to work he would ignore me all the time, when he was with his friend. And while he was with me he would be glued to his phone texting his friend. It drove me crazy, and I got really jealous about it, the day before we broke up we had made plans earlier in the week to go out to dinner and see a movie that had just come out and I wanted to see it. I woke up that morning to him texting his friend, and he told me that we were going to see this movie, (the complete opposite one that I wanted to see) and it started at 7. Of course naturally I got mad about it. I asked him why he changed the plans, and he said that’s the only movie that Dana could see (his friends girlfriend) and I got even more mad, because it was supposed to be a day with just us, but I let it go because he came up to me and hugged me and said I love you. on the way to dinner he said “I don’t really feel like seeing a movie today so why do we all go do something with people” inside I was annoyed, but I didn’t let it show. After dinner we were going to hang out with people and he said I think I’m going over to my friends house tonight, and go over to yours tomorrow, I asked him why when today was my day off and I closed tomorrow, he said well he wants me to help him finish this project, (this made upset me because I work full time and only get to see him a couple times out of the week) I told him why your always with him, and today is my only day off. he got mad and said I just wont hangout with him anymore, and I said no don’t do that you can still hang out with him but this is my only day to do stuff, that night he ended up lying to me saying he was going home and the ended up going to his friends, then the next day he lied to me saying he was going over there cause he didn’t last night and then later that night we broke up, And the next day he met with me to give each other our stuff back and he said, this is only temporary until I get a job, we can still hang out and talk and stuff, and after that, he has barely said anything to me, we hung out once and then he started fooling around with me and I shouldn’t of done it but I couldn’t help it I was with him for over a year almost two, and after that he barley said a word to me, and he and started lying to me more and more and now I just don’t know what to do, and I talked to him and he said don’t worry Its just temporary I don’t know if he was just saying that to make me feel better or he was really telling the truth. If anyone could help me that would be really appreciated.
If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
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