There are some who think that marriage is inviolable. Different religions may forbid or discourage divorce. It was thought once that the public interest demanded that divorce be made difficult, so that children would not be left homeless. In New York State, divorce was only possible in the context of infidelity, and so men and women would routinely perjure themselves and defame themselves in order to get a divorce. But it is not that way in New York anymore; and divorce has generally become more acceptable. But divorce, like any other serious relationship, is rarely ended without emotional distress.

The first thing that you need to do is simple, stop talking to them. You need to drop communication completely. You absolutely need to stop this overall. Many people feel the need to text them back, call them back, or just try to be in their sight. Don’t do that. You have to cut everything out. Walk away, stop talking, stop texting, and walk away from social media. When you talk to them after the break up, you’re going to end up causing them to think that you’re not quite as good as she once thought. You don’t want her to justify the reason why she walked away.


My partner and I have been together a little over two years but recently broke up (he broke up with me) and I want to follow all these rules, as I believe I am strong enough to do it and I absolutely want him back however we do currently live together and study at the same school. I’m living in a new town and don’t have any family or friends here so providing space is hard. What do I do???


Dude i went through the same thing I lied to her 2 she came to know and she got very angry and started ignoring me I asked her to forgive me but she did not budge I texted her so many times that sge was goin to block me but the last time I spoke to her I told her I was sorry and I knew that I had screwed up I couldnt expect her to come running back for me I told her I loved her and id wait by the sidelines no matter how long it took her to forgive me be it a day or a month id patiently wait and I also told her id be with her through everything and support her decisions whatever she took and gues what man she forgave me 2 days later and were back together im so fucking happy I hope this helped

I fell in love a few months ago, this man i believe to be my soul mate. Im 43 years old never married because I never thought i had met the right man until he came along. I thought he felt the same, often he would look at me and say “i cant believe you are here with me”. I met his family a couple weeks ago and then he went away with a friend for two weeks. He came back and told me he couldnt be with me. He said it was partly due to my job, that he would worry about me too much and that i didnt look after myself health wise. This being i didnt eat properly, im a shift worker its not always possible to eat healthy. Two weeks ago he was telling me he missed me and talked about travelling together, he was always worried i would get bored with him. Now he has left me because of things that may never happen. What can i do. This man has my hart . How can a man go from so caring loving, telling you hes so thankful to have you in his life to , we wont work out.

Love this! I read your blog like it’s a bible for overcoming the bad break ups. I’m so addicted and I like that it’s enabling me to transfer my addiction from my ex. Just today, an old co worker of mine, we use to flirt a lot back in my previous job had called me not too long ago. I’m wondering if I should respond to his calls and texts. I have been avoiding him for the longest because well, I already know it will only be based on sex. Not sure if I want to indulge in that as I am still very vulnerable since the unofficial break up with my ex. However, I do want to show my ex if I could that I’m no longer crazy and doesn’t need them. So I might want to give this old flame a try. Maybe just casually date. Idfk. Lol. All I know is that I want my ex to see me happy!!!!! So far no contact for about to be a month. But my ex will not know if I’m happy or not being that I’m not on social media like that and plus they unfollowed me and we don’t have mutual friends. So how would my ex know if I’m happy without an “us”? The only glue is my access to their Netflix account which I have been using and now I’m realizing I shouldn’t even use that! My ex will probably view my activity and sees that I have not let go and still need them..even for stupid Netflix. So no more Netflix. I might want to delete the profile that my ex set up for me, but deleting it might give a reaction. Idk what to do.


I know.  You are thinking to yourself, “look, I came here to find out the fastest way possible to get my ex boyfriend back where he belongs.  I have to have him back”.  But trust me, things are probably pretty crazy right now if you are just coming out of the breakup, so don’t make it worse by rushing through things, being overly impulsive , and doing or saying something you will regret later.
I pray St. Jude that you will pray and restore the relationnship I have with Jeffrey, I pray Jeffrey will come to see how much I love and cherish him. I think hes just lost right now, I pray all obstacles that are between us be removed, take any temptation he has for anyone else away, touch his heart and let him see how much I care and how much we belong together. I know anything is possible, I pray for this request in Jesus name. I pray for all the others on here that are also praying for there loved one to return, I pray you touch there hearts and give them comfort as were all hurting, lord I know you want the best for us all. I pray my x partner comes back to me, AMEN
I truly recommend getting Lee Baucom's Save The Marriage e-book and ancillary materials. I have read all of it, and it is good information that will help you. I wish I had known this stuff when my marriage was in trouble; I might still be married had I put his ideas into action. If, for whatever reason, it doesn't help within 60 days, you can get a full refund with no questions asked.

If you’ve been answering yes to lots of the questions above, then it’s likely that you’ll answer yes to this one too. Why? Because believing that your girlfriend is the most suitable partner you could realistically get, creates a scarcity mindset around attractive women which brings out all the needy, desperate and try-hard (i.e. unattractive) behaviors that we discussed above.
Focus on patterns. Rather than blaming each other, consider how patterns from each of you has led to problems. For instance, maybe you consistently forget to call home when you're going to be late, and your partner then gets upset when you don't show up. Consequently, you punish him or her the next time by not calling home, which is a cyclical pattern. When you bring it up, focus on how to solve the problem, such as "I will try to be better about calling home, if maybe you can forgive me the few times that I forget. Or maybe you can send me a text near the end of the day, so I will be more aware of what time it is."[10]
I was with my boyfriend for 4 years we had an amazing and loving relationship and he wanted to marry me for years. However, once I was ready he got cold feet and his friends suddenly became more important and his behavior became unlike him. A month later, he blew me off again and didn’t come home. I broke up with him. He begged for me back but i was too hurt and pushed him away.
If you cheated on your partner, you need to be genuinely apologetic, and accept that your partner may not trust you or love you the way he or she once did. The only thing you can do in this situation (assuming you have ended the connection with the other person and sincerely expressed your regrets to your partner) is to show how much you love your partner every single day. Assuming you don't commit other infidelities, and that you are still with your partner, he or she may eventually return to loving and trusting you.
Try not to jump right into another relationship straight away in a bid to make your ex jealous. I’m not saying ‘’don’t focus on yourself’’ but this is not the way to go about things as it only gives a negative message to your ex which may backfire if they do the same thing. so, what can you do to focus on yourself? You can start from appearance (new haircut, new clothes, get down to the gym, eat healthier, etc) keeping a good attitude and staying open-minded. Upgrade yourself with your outer appearance and inner attitude. Be the best version that you can be of yourself. If you’re really wanting to move on, then maybe you want to check out The Best Chat Up Lines to use on girls.
Ive been seeing a woman we are both in our late 30’s for about 5 months, and got introduced with her young children and her parents a couple of times. Everything was great then her child had problems at school, the ex of 2 years ago and the father of the children got involved, then straight away after 20 odd texts a day cut down to 2 a day. I decided to turn up with some flower to show my support as knew something was wrong. She wasn’t home so went in her friends shop to see if they knew what time she would be back who then told her I was in the village, with that I received a txt saying is this true and why was I about and to go as she didn’t want me at the house when she returned. I went back to her friends shop to ask if they knew what was wrong and had they said anything about me being there as wanted it to be a surprise. Since then by txt it has got totally out of hand where the friends have said things and she has taken what Ive said wrong, now she wants me to leave her alone as she thinks its not normal turning up the way I did and she is scared I will turn up again which I has said I wont.
The problem is she’s cut me off once before after a bad night than about 3 months later wanted to hang out again. This time around I made all the right moves. Took her out to fancy dinners, wine tastings, spent days with her at her apartment for study dates, hung out with her and her friends, took random walks. And now because I messed up for New Years I’m a terrible person. I just don’t get it. I’m hurting like crazy here and I just don’t know what to do. I can’t go through this pain again. :( I feel horrible and would do anything to redo that moment or make it up to her. Any suggestions?
My boyfriend of almost a year, we would have been a year Wednesday, 2 days from now, broke up with me Friday. He says he is fed up and he gave me so much chances and I kept doing the same thing over and over. Quarreling about the past. Accusing him of stuff he didn’t do. He was a perfect boyfriend, seemed too good to be true. He is the man of my dreams. We were friends before we got together. I was cheated on in the past and that has been holding me back since. I became fearful and paranoid. He did give me chances, I promised to change yet I still kept being negative. He says he wants a more positive girlfriend and he still loves me. It seems like we are broken up for good. I lost the man of my dreams. My advice to you is to stop being hard on yourself, we are all humans and are not perfect. Some of us need to learn a lesson five or six or a hundred times before it actually sticks. What matters is at the end we learn it. I have since decided to be positive about the situation, I have hurt him and I have decided to not beg. People are attracted to confidence. I have accepted my mistakes and decided to forgive myself. Only then I can accomplish anything. He is a great guy and tomorrow I plan to go see him and sees if he will speak to me do I can apologize in person. He deserves it. I want to thank him for all our memories as well. I hope he agrees to see me. I just want a peace of mind. I am sure he is hurting just as how I am. Fill yourself with love first and you will attract the right person into your life. If it was meant to be, it will!!!!!! Trust and have faith in yourself and keep positive. It will be hell, but everything gets better with time. He didn’t deserve this and he never did anything to betray my trust. But now I have lost his. I didn’t want to lose him but I did. My advice may be weird but life goes on. It will hurt like hell but believe that you can change and you are halfway there already.
Broke up with my ex after 6 years, he was manipulative, a liar and a cheat. As soon as we split up he started dating another girl. I asked him about it and he denied it. Anyway, it’s been 7 weeks now and he has been in constant contact with me. Last week it all come out that he was dating that girl all along. He admitted it all to me and told me he wanted me back, I foolishly told him that we could sort things out. He then decided he didn’t want me back and has now run back to that girl. It’s been a week since this happened and I haven’t heard off him since. I know I should not want a person like that back in my life. But I just want him to regret what he’s done and come begging for me back. Will he be sorry? And Is this girl just a rebound or does he really like her? I can’t stop obsessing over him. Every minute of the day he’s on my mind and I constantly stalk him and her on social media.
My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. He said he craves for independence and he he still loves me but that’s just what’s right to do. He pushed me away whenever I try to get close or hug or lean my head against his back. I really love him and I want to get him back but we are flatmates, we live together and I don’t know how to do the no contact? And I’ve gone home for a few days and I didn’t tell him where I was going. I’ll be going back in a few days and I’ll be seeing him again. What should I tell him if he asks me where I went? I don’t want to look like a loser grieving so much for our relationship. And I really want to get him back.
I get it and I’ve been there. You miss him, you miss all of his quirks and jokes and the way that he made you feel. You miss the way that YOU felt and the girl that you were when you were with him when the relationship was good. You make an excuse for and justify everything that he did that was wrong, disrespectful and hurtful because you feel like it was you that provoked it and made him act out. You just want him back, no matter what. how to get your ex boyfriend back
My boyfriend and I were together for almost 3 yrs our relationship was amazing u til I made the biggest mistake of my life by sleeping with someone else. Eventually my boyfriend found out and he gave me a chance to try and make him fall in love with me again. It seem to work for about 6 mo the we were doing very well but I had a car accident became very depressed and had severe anxiety I asked him for support a week later he told me he no longer felt the same way about. He said he really tried after I messed up but now he just wasn’t in love with me. I really live him and want to make things work out. Anyone have any advice?
The second step to getting your ex back is forgiveness. You'll never be able to be together again if you can't forgive each other. Initiate this yourself. Why did you break up? Did you cheat, did he cheat, did the love evaporate, or you got bored, what is it? It doesn't really matter the point is that you give each other a clean slate. Don't talk about what happened in the past with him.
I kept thinking that she was crazy, and she was convinced that I was stupid. I was walking on eggshells because she was just so prickly. We never had sex anymore and we didn’t agree on anything. Technically we were living in a sexless marriage. Many of our fights (over little things) ended with one of us casually suggesting that divorce might be the answer. It hurt. When I thought of divorce, and the end of my family, I thought, How did we get to this? (Stopping the Fighting is the FIRST thing you need to do as I talk about in my article How to Fix a Broken Marriage)
For a long time you felt pain from your relationship. Most likely, it hurt quite a lot when she left. The problem lies in the fact that you didn’t have the knowledge to help you steer your relationship in the right direction and be happy in it. Many men know the art of meeting and courting women, so it is easy to fall in love with them. But with time, they lose something very important and their girlfriends get disappointed, eventually losing interest and leaving. Using years of experience, research and observations, I was able to work out a step-by-step system that can help you rekindle the passion and get the relationship with your girlfriend to the same happy place it was before. In this course, I lay out many situations and clearly explain how to act in each one of them. If you follow every advice I give you, your girlfriend won’t want to stay away from you.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about five years. In December we got into an argument because I thought he was ignoring my plans I had with my family. We normally see family together during the holidays so I expected him to be on point. Anyway, I was about to leave and asked him what’s on his agenda and he just ignored me. I got mad and cursed him out and left. Days after I text to find out why he was ignoring me and he did not reply. Some time passed and he then said we need some space because I constantly curse him out and he is tired of it. He said that I am jealous and insecure which is a recurring theme in our arguments. Weeks passed and we just cordial over the phone. I tried not to be clingy because he said that we have to learn to be friends and give each other space in order to try and repair the relationship. He visited me in January and we talked somewhat and ended up sleeping together. We were cordial for a couple days and he kept saying how much he loves me and wants to have a family with me. I then asked if that means that we are back together and he said we never broke up but we still need space. Some time passed and we kept sending each other messages and stuff. I really missed him and asked when are we going to be out of this phase and he said as long as it takes for me to fix my ways. I told him that he has things to work on too. He said he knows he is not perfect but we keep fighting over the same things and he is tired of it. Recently he came to see me and brought an unexpected gift. I thought he was going to stay but he did not. I wanted him so badly that I slept with him. A few days after I asked about seeing him for Valentines Day and he said “why did we break up again?” I said “You said we were not broken up” He said that we still need space. I said I was confused because he keeps sending me messages about missing me and wanting to be with me and we are intimate but yet we are “just friends for now”. Mind you, when we text it is not about anything sexual. If he sees where a conversation is headed that way he stops it. Now we got into a huge fight over the phone because I said I do not know what he wants from me and I am fed up of waiting. He said talking to me is pointless because I do not get where he is coming from. I told him that he does not get where I am coming from either and I will just leave him alone. He said that he does not give a f#$% and that I should do what I want to because he is not getting through to me. I try to understand him honestly I do but I do not think he sees it. I love him with all my heart but I fear this is it for us. Sigh. Any advice?
You get the Save The Marriage System,  the bonus audios, a bonus set of rules for fair fighting, and a complete bonus ebook!  If I haven’t managed to convince you by now, it is time for me to give up! If this is not right for you, then please, move on. But, if you are really ready to take action, I can give you the tools you need! Please, take action and Save Your Marriage
On my birthday on August 23rd…. I couldn’t tell you what it was….. it was like life changing really…. it hit at once and I missed him, I love him (which I always have but I never loved him like I do now), I cried probably the first time over him or really anything in probably 3 years and that was only because my grandfather passed away whom was also like my dad. But now I feel that it’s almost too late… He doesn’t say it like that but he just says to give him time, not to call / text him (but then said tonight I could if I wanted to), and that he would need to think about it because of this other girl. He said something like “she may say or do something I don’t like and that be the end of it” and then was like “I could tell her tomorrow that I wanna work things out with you, you never know” and then the next thing you know he’s in a bad mood because he said I waited so long to actually express myself to him….

Hi my boyfriend always use to talk with for a couple of days later he will fight and we wont be in contact for 3-6 months after thathe will msg me and he will b normal as before and again he will fight and wont b in contact for 3-6 months this is go on repeating from 3 years i cant understand whether he loves me or hates me but i love him so much just suggest me how to make him mine completely

Then you cry, and maybe even look up to the sky, maybe even pray and think, ‘Please… Just let me get back with my ex. I hope my ex is just making a mistake and he/she wasn’t thinking it through. I know we are perfect for each other. I want to just call my ex up and say “I love you”.’ Then you look at your phone every half an hour, check your messenger, facebook, instagram, twitter, and heck… email inbox, to see if your ex would want to talk to you, all ready to get back together.
All of the crying, Instagram stalking, begging, analyzing, gossiping, playing detective, pleading and bargaining will get you nowhere and the pity and empathy that you are after will never happen. It turns men off, WAAYYYY off to know that you have such little confidence and such a minuscule life that you’re obsessed with their every move and obsessed with losing them. Men want to feel wanted, not psychotically needed. Beating yourself up is not going to help you either. Are you listening? Either make the mistakes that I’ve made in the past or wake the hell up and give this emotionally unavailable f*cktard a run for his money.
Learn to forgive. If you're going to move forward, you're going to have to forgive each other for the hurts you've caused. That doesn't mean completely forgetting what happened or even saying what happened was okay. It does mean that you need to acknowledge the hurt it caused you. You need to realize that the other person makes mistakes, and both of you learned from that mistake. Finally, you need to accept that it happened and move on.[18]
For example, a boy comes to you in a bar and offers you to buy a drink. What will be your response? Most probably you would not value his friendship that much because you didn’t work for it. You may though of saying ‘YES’ to him but very next moment after buying drink you wouldn’t be giving any attention to him. Why?  This is because you didn’t work for it.
This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. This has to be completely genuine otherwise you are better off not saying anything at all.
I began to see a woman who had two children under the age of seven. She was considering a divorce from a man I met in the course of treatment. He was a doctor who had dedicated himself to taking care of the indigent. As I got to know this couple, I found myself admiring both of them. They were both intelligent, kind, and thoughtful. They were both not only good parents, but good citizens. They were people that I would have wanted to introduce to each other had I known them personally. And yet they were both determined to separate. There had been too much water under the bridge. Each had hurt the other in petty ways. Each had failed to help the other at times when help was needed. It seemed to me that these circumstances were not fatal, and that both could and should forgive each other and move on. It did not seem to me that what had come between them was so awful, it could not be remedied. But they had—both of them—made up their minds. Despite the stress on their children, despite considerable economic difficulties, they proceeded to make separate lives. And that was where things stood years later.
Where did I come up with this? Actually this really happened to me. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous. She looked so good in fact that all I could think was “how in the hell did I let her get away?”
There was no “trick” to getting Mary back for good. Going through a tragedy had changed me. It was terrible, but it helped me grow the hell up, and by the time Mary and I crossed paths again, I was ready to be the kind of person who texts back and keeps plans and buys presents for no apparent reason. We don’t yell at each other in the street anymore, and that’s pretty cool.
What if he changed his number but you’ve totally stayed away and haven’t emailed him since June but are good friends with his sister who really likes you and is currently barely speaking to him due to mistakes he made with her ..(which by the way he hates that I’m friends with her and wanted me to cut her off )- Something I refuse to cut her off bc she’s genuinely my friend and I care about her and she’s been good to me in the mix of this nightmare )

btw I got stuck in this funny situation I don’t know if it’s possible but can you or your staff delete my comment stating my story ( on august 19, 2018) ? A friend of mine is suggesting this site for me and I’m too afraid that she may read my comment here she will instantly know it’s me .. Im so totally busted if that happens hahahaha pretty please help mee all of my NC plan will go to nothing if this happen cause she’s pretty close to my ex and I can’t really trust her mouth LOL..
St. Jude I ask that you find it in your heart to pray for me and my boyfriends relationship. I ask that you take away any temptation my boyfriend may have or remove any other individual that will come between our relationship. Help him to be aware of how much I care and love him. I ask that you help our relationship be strong, loving, honest, and respectful. In the name of the father the son and the holy spirit. AMEN –

I founded out he cheated on me two weeks ago not heard from him and now the loan people he answered to but he’s. Not speaking to anyone else. as he’s gone holiday I have no idea when he back worried outta mind but he said he would pay off the loan for me but he needs to sort it out with me. and I’m scared he’s not going to talk to me I still love him
There are some who think that marriage is inviolable. Different religions may forbid or discourage divorce. It was thought once that the public interest demanded that divorce be made difficult, so that children would not be left homeless. In New York State, divorce was only possible in the context of infidelity, and so men and women would routinely perjure themselves and defame themselves in order to get a divorce. But it is not that way in New York anymore; and divorce has generally become more acceptable. But divorce, like any other serious relationship, is rarely ended without emotional distress.
I broke up with my gf for an extremely obvious reason – she didn’t love ME. Girls, please. I need true love, not a fakened up “story”. It was my first relationship, and I didn’t get a new girlfriend since then. We didn’t have any sexual contact either. But it was going on for 1.5 years. I loved her, but eventually she killed all my feelings towards her. I was trying to look sexy, to smell amazing, was extremely kind. Was probably the best she could deserve. Yet she didn’t understand it…now I just want to ask dear, dear girls – there are people like me who you never notice that are looking for a serious relationship. Please notice them and pay attention to how you behave with them…especially do you love your bf’s or not. Right now I see what a jerky girl she is, for lying to me and faking up so much stuff just to claim “oh look I have the best bf ever” but never loved me in real. Seriously care for what you do girls, please. I don’t want any more experiences like this bullcrap full of lies. Thanx in advance.
Do something nice for her without expecting her to pay you back. If she's studying late for an exam, pop by with her favorite tea or coffee and let her know that you know she's going to kill it tomorrow. If one of her friends gets in an accident, stop by and pay your respects (the friend will definitely let your ex know you stopped by). If your ex mentions she wanted to see a movie, buy her two tickets for her and her friend to see, and don't butt in. Your time will come soon.
Joe Dillon, MBA is a professional divorce mediator and founder of Equitable Mediation Services. Joe is passionate about helping couples avoid the destruction of attorney-driven litigation and knows first-hand that the right information, combined with the right expertise and the right kind of support can make the challenging process of divorce less expensive, less time-consuming and less stressful for divorcing couples and their families.

Do not post negativity on social platforms. Firstly, your social media friends will see it as a big negative and any chances of gaining a new partner are gone but mainly when negativity is posted, it only brings a negative response or anger which may ruin any chances of ever having your ex back again. Another reason I personally do not encourage negative posts is it shows desperation and we don’t want this type of image or attention pointed towards us.
My situation is a little different than most, we’ve been together for 5 years and he’s currently in the military now, he just ended things, with multiple reasoning but the last one was him saying he didn’t have time for a girlfriend nor did he want one. It’s been a week since we broke up and also a week of NC, I haven’t reached out, but is this going to work, is he really going to miss me even with us being so far away and his schedule being so hectic?? Please someone give me some advice…
You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.

My best friend of 3 years and partner of 2 broke up with me 6 months ago now. I love him with all my heart and had grown to see him in my future (house, his cat, maybe kids, the whole shebang) so I was absolutely devastated when he told me. We’d had problems before but it seemed like had figured them out. We hardly ever fought and when we did we found a solution pretty quickly.
It will take some practice to get to that stage (where you’re behaving attractively around her on autopilot), so improving your body language is something you should get started on right away, as soon as you begin the No Contact Period (Step 3 as above). That way, when you do go to meet with her after no contact, she’ll ‘just feel’ that you have a sexier and more attractive presence.
Try answering these questions: Do you miss your ex, or do you miss having a boyfriend or girlfriend? Did he or she make you feel better about yourself, more secure in the world, and happier? Do you imagine yourself with this person in the long-term, even when the excitement of being in love has worn off and you are stuck in the daily routines of life? If you are only missing the security of having someone and the excitement of a dramatic relationship, you can find those things with someone else in a healthier, more stable relationship.
Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
It goes without saying that not all wishes should be granted — for example, if your partner wishes to have a threesome, and you absolutely do not. But not granting your partner's wishes does not imply disrespecting him or her for having particular desires. Respect is the single most important factor in a relationship. If you lose respect for your partner, or they lose respect for you, your relationship can be irreparably damaged. To show respect for your partner, stop focusing on the negative in your relationship and comment on the positive aspects. Be generous with compliments and caring behavior. And to regain respect, if you think you lost it, learn to set boundaries.
It’s amazing what you can see with a little bit of time and distance. You might find you’re happier without him, that you can breathe easier, that you’re more like yourself again and maybe you realize getting back together with him isn’t a good idea. Or maybe a little time away causes you to see his good qualities that you took advantage of during the relationship. Maybe now you’re better able to support his vision for the future whereas you weren’t on board before. Whatever the case, sometimes you need to step away from something to see it more clearly.
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If your partner is staying out late more often, and showing less interest in family and spending time together, that may be an indication that they are either unhappy with the situation at home. It may also be that they’re preparing mentally for life apart, building a social life or possibly even dating. Hopefully that’s not the case, and don’t prematurely accuse your spouse of this just because they’re home less often, but it is a possibility.
Remember this step– and really this whole process– is about you. Yes, it is also highly likely that this step will make him miss you, but again, that’s not the focus. Your focus should be on getting to the best possible headspace and having the best possible mindset so you are your best possible self. That is the foundation for lasting love, not tricks and gimmicks.
We also know that there are exceptions. There are relationships that probably should not stay together, such as those with physical violence, cruel and ongoing verbal abuse, extreme anger management issues, or long-term unaddressed substance abuse, for example. If you're in a situation like that, please eek the help of your local crisis management center.
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