But sometimes filling your life with positive things is not enough. In fact, having a good vibe isn’t really about having the things you love around you or trying to imprint the idea that you feel good into your mind. It’s more about removing the self-destructive, negative thinking (and the behavior that the negative thinking creates) – i.e. changing the lens that you see the world yourself and your situations through.
I was really anxious and worried at that point of time and I sensed something was wrong and I’ve kept telling him and saying I was wrong and I shouldn’t be so sensitive and paranoid, asking him questions everytime. He said he couldn’t see a future in us seeing that I’ll always ask him questions that made him uneasy everytime we meet. I reflected and thought back, I really shouldn’t be like this and I told him I’ll change on my end and all. But he seems determined to be really ending of this relationship with me.
You are so amazing and spot on and absolutely gorgeous! Excellent article!! Want to brief you with my situation. Dated a guy 5 yrs ago went on 6 dates and we connected well but I never had sex with him. He made all the effort but he’s a business guy and I was a student And he ended things since I was demNding for his time. We got back a year after and same situation. Now I’m a working surgeon grown woman. After 5 years he sends me a text on this year Valentine’s. I just got out of a relationship then. We decided to meet and it was my bday that week. He bought me a Chanel bag and took me more shopping. Had dinner at my favourite French place. Stayed in a suite. We had sex for the first time ever. Was nice and intimate. Since then he texts me everyday 3 times a day and made plans to meet me again in 2 weeks. I live 4 hrs away so he came to see me last weekend. I arranged a lovely suite on the beach and we went out for lunch played golf. He texted me saying he appreciated the effort I made and had a good time. After that he’s been distant. Not as much flirting. Btw he has a 2 yr old son he’s busy with. Single dad and has a nanny over the week. Weekends he’s full time dad. Anyways i texted him yesterday we flirted a bit. Made little small talk and he was busy traveling. Asked him he’s been bit mellow and is everything ok with work? He said all good thanks. He did say he hAs a lot of work to be done before his trip next week…No more good morning msgs or night msgs. He’s making a trip to Dubai next week with his son so surely won’t hear from him for a week. But the day before he was leaving I sent a text saying hey just wanted to know as we are adults and be honest with each other. If I’m going to invest on time and according to your busy schedule and being a single dad and if I’m going to wait for you to come back from the trip, do you want to be exclusive and date or date casually as sex buddies? So he answered saying Hey, firstly i’m sorry if my yummy mummy comments upset you – they were never intended that way.

I lost the love of my life over something stupid that I did. Long story short, I lied about my age. Although she didn’t care about my real age, it was the lie I carried on for a year that was part of the reason we broke up. She came from an emotionally abusive marriage and had baggage from that. And two kids who I came to love dearly – and who got along very well with mine. I know that she had issues stemming from childhood, specifically trust. But she’s an awesome girl – the love of my life, my parallel. But I messed up – I lied. Honestly, the lie started because I was afraid that she would be turned off when we first met (she’s 28 and I’m 48)…so I told her I was 44. Every time she brought up age stuff, I steered the conversation away. I wanted to tell her so many times but I knew that if I did that would end things. So I let it go and my heart is breaking because of it. It was her abusive ex-husband who cued her in and she defended me to him until I admitted it. Now, she won’t have anything to do with me. The breakup ended VERY BADLY. Probably the worst I’ve ever experience. Yelling/screaming/crying/etc. She said she can’t believe a word I said and felt like I used her for sex. She said that if I ever contacted her again that I’d be sorry. So I haven’t. At first after the breakup I did what everyone does – texted/called/emailed. I didn’t know of these steps. At any rate, she won’t talk and the last time we did I was met with extreme hostility. I know this one is done. Had I followed this advice there might have been a chance. But I doubt even that. Lessons learned the hardest of all ways. I wanted to marry her. It would have been my second and her third. I love her with all my heart and soul – she his my parallel. The yin to my yang.

Take this opportunity to get back in touch with you and fall in love with the woman who attracted him rather than spending your time thinking about how to get your boyfriend back. Get busy with your friends, your interests, and the things that make you YOU. Remember: you can lose a man, but you can NEVER lose yourself. If this man is worthy of you and is the right man for you, I guarantee that when he sees you are focusing on your own life he will realize what he’s missing.

You have the attraction back by this point already from the previous steps, so most of what you need to do now is just get out of your own way, and let the getting-back-together process happen on its own. In other words, you need to know what mistakes to AVOID, to prevent yourself from sabotaging the getting-back-together process, which is supposed to happen fairly naturally after the first 7 steps.
So I went back to doing what I was doing. I focused on myself, I had fun, I spent time with friends, I did a lot of writing, I traveled, I discovered so many things about myself. I felt happier and better than ever before, all the pieces in my life were finally clicking … and then at the very end of the summer, he reached out to me and after hours of talking, he asked me out. Our first date was seven hours long and we got married a year to the day later!
Yes, there are certain rules even for your mini date/meet up or whatever you want to call it. As stated above, you want to keep this meet up as casual as possible. Don’t plan to meet over a nice dinner. I suggest getting coffee at Starbucks with chairs and couches where the two of you can just sit and talk. Another great idea would be to meet up at a park and go for a walk together. Honestly, the dates I have enjoyed the most wasn’t anything super romantic it was just when I was enjoying the company of someone else and walking around.
You are hilarious!! I am laughing so loudly whilst reading your articles….I’m scaring my dogs! I came across your website while I was googling and trying to understand why my now ex-fiance ‘assbag’ of 4 years breaks up with me (2nd time in 3 months), demands no contact then calls me, bawls during the conversation then tells me “he says he needs space” AGAIN…. he did this 3 months ago also…so now I’m thinking he’s emotionally inept and I’m left feel totally confused. But I am finding your articles are helping me alot….so thank you!!!!
It’s also giving him the impression that he doesn’t have to put in any work for you.  And, let me fill you in on a little secret: men–well really, people in general — value that which they’ve worked for. Imagine how you would feel if you won an award just because they were pulling names out of a hat versus if you won a trophy for something you worked for. Getting a lottery prize is always nice, but getting a reward for hard work is more satisfying.
Dear heavenly father, as I come to you today to ask for guidance and strength to strengthen my relationship Lord I can’t do this alone. I Need Your Loving Arms to keep us focused on you through this difficult time lord. We both have extremely busy schedules so it’s hard for us to see each other Lord and during those busy times we tend to argue more when we deeply love each other Lord come into our lives show us what we need to do to continue going the way that you want us to go, Lord. In Jesus name Amen.
Me and boyfriend have been together for 4 years and we broke up for 4 months last year because I said I would change about my moodiness and I didnt, I didn’t put as much work in as I should of then I got back together with him in June. We have been fine no arguments nothing, until December when I was feeling down and stressed with uni and I was ill with severe iron deficiency but no doctors would listen to me so I have been really stressed and upset and continued to January and I didn’t realise how it was making him feel. Recently we had an argument because I was so low and upset with everything as it was all going wrong I just wanted to know he was there, so was a little needy. I upset him by saying he didn’t care but apologised by getting him a card as I was truly sorry and didn’t mean to hurt him. He has now broke up with me after I said I will change and be myself now I have been treated and we can have fun, I have taken this more serious wrote down my thoughts, his thoughts and how I can change for the better and I am certain I am going to change and want to change. I have asked him for one more chance and he says he doesn’t believe I will change. Do you think there is time and he will regret his decision, I love him so much and I can see a future with him

If you have the sinking feeling that your relationship is on the rocks, then it's time to reflect on your relationship and try to save it. To save it, you're going to need to work together to figure out the problem or problems you're having, as well as a solution to those problems. You're also going to need to work at loving each other again and reconnecting to what you felt in the past.


Im so confused my bf of 1 yr broke up with me in October i was ready to move on when he started texting me and wanted to see me i keep saying no until i gave in and accepted.. we started hanging out and spending time together and all the rest.. Out of nowhere he decided that it’s time to move on and want us to stop seeing eachother, he keeps telling me that he loves me and it shows we have so much fun together, but he is so against to give out relationship another chance not now and not later he says… i dont know what to do we love each other and i know we can make this work.. he even told me that he is ready to see someone else already but there’s noone else in his life at this point. We just sent NYE together should i believe that he really moved on so quick or is he just trying to push me away.. Since we broke up I haven’t really give him time to miss me i have been there for him all the time, after the break up he started going out all the time and he had a car accident i was the one he called to be with him… Now im so confused any adviced??

My boyfriend left me 2 weeks ago ;( evrything was absolutely amazing and perfect. I love him and his little girl so much and i feel heartbroken. We had 8 mounths relationship in witch we lived together….I think i was a bit jelous of his ex, the mother of his daughter, witch i regret now ;( but is it too late? I think he loves me, despite when he left me he said he doesn’t want a relationship and he doesn’t love me the same way i do. Is it possible to tell me all this just to make me go away, or to protect me, or I really dunno….and that’s killing me…. I haven’t slept proparly, i haven’t eaten proparly, i hate my job ( and I think that was one of the reasons we start having problems, cause i was really moody ) and i just want him back. PLEASE, i need help, i am so confused and hurted. .. If anybody have any advice i am happy to listen

You have spent a month not contacting your ex. You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past. Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Make no mistake about it, negative responses are never good. However, they don’t EVER mean that you should give up right away. It just means you have to be smarter about how you approach things. Lets take a look at a negative response example (from my past) this is a true story.
Me and boyfriend have been together for 4 years and we broke up for 4 months last year because I said I would change about my moodiness and I didnt, I didn’t put as much work in as I should of then I got back together with him in June. We have been fine no arguments nothing, until December when I was feeling down and stressed with uni and I was ill with severe iron deficiency but no doctors would listen to me so I have been really stressed and upset and continued to January and I didn’t realise how it was making him feel. Recently we had an argument because I was so low and upset with everything as it was all going wrong I just wanted to know he was there, so was a little needy. I upset him by saying he didn’t care but apologised by getting him a card as I was truly sorry and didn’t mean to hurt him. He has now broke up with me after I said I will change and be myself now I have been treated and we can have fun, I have taken this more serious wrote down my thoughts, his thoughts and how I can change for the better and I am certain I am going to change and want to change. I have asked him for one more chance and he says he doesn’t believe I will change. Do you think there is time and he will regret his decision, I love him so much and I can see a future with him
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”
God please help me, i am asking you to please help me save my relationship.my best friend and i had a fallout and are not on good terms. I truly want this relationship to work out. I love spending time with him and we have so much fun together. Things were going so well n then we had a fight today. God please help me help him see that im a good girl and that wr can be happy together. God please i need him in my life. Please help him to see me for the good and forgive me for our past issues. I am so heart broken right now. Gos please save us. Please give me the opportunity to talk this out with him and make everything okay. Please god. Dont let him give up on me
First, let’s make one thing clear: just because your partner is exhibiting a couple of the behaviours that I just talked about doesn’t mean that they’re definitely planning to file for divorce. It may simply be that these are indicators of trouble ahead in your marriage. But if you’ve seen several of these indicators in your spouse recently, and you’re feeling that things aren’t on track with your marriage, I encourage you to act to turn things around now before matters get any worse.
Reason #2 – Creates Feeling of Loss: Another reason to use no contact is, it helps in developing the feelings of loss in your ex boyfriend’s mind. Your boyfriend will start thinking why she is not calling me. He will start getting second-guessing to his decision of breaking up with you. Once he starts getting these second-guessing thoughts it will be great helpful for you.

am from canada, would want to tell you all that i was able to put an end to my divorce issue and restore my marriage again, because i never wanted it to happen. i don’t know what came over my husband that he was filling for divorce, i tried to talk him out of it when he told me and he didn’t listen to me, i had no other option than to seek for the help of a spell caster and now am glad i did. Because if not for the help of spell, i don’t know what would have become of me by now because i loved my husband so much that i couldn’t stand loosing him. The spell worked like magic with the way and manner my husband change and started showing love instead of the divorce he was planning. i just too happy that everything is in place for me now. I would gladly recommend the use of spell to any one going through marriage problems and want to put an end to it. [gbojiespiritualtemple@ gmail. com , gbojiespiritualtemple@ yahoo. com or whatsapp : +2349066410185 was were i got the help to restore my marriage] 

Hi Desireen. Nope…you are not crazy! You just want to figure out how to make things feel better for yourself and improve your chances. Its OK that you may have made some mistakes. He made plenty to. We all do. What matters is going forward and what you do. So its good to have an ex recovery plan, both for yourself and also doing things to optimize your chances of getting your ex back. My program is all about that. Go to my site’s home page to learn more about my ebooks, tools, resources, and many other things!
My ex broke up with me about two weeks ago. He says he was tied of arguing. He was saying another girl a couple times but they are no longer talking. He always text me calls me and wants me to hang out with him or stay the night at my place. He text me when I’m at work with xoxo and always says he loves me and is more affectionate toward me now then when we were together. But he still says he dosn’t want a girlfriend right now I’m confused.

He said that he didn’t think that we had enoughin common, which isn’t true because we would do so many old and new things together. When we broke up he said that he felt like we stopped being friends but then later saud the he was still my friend because we were really good friends. He also still wanted to hug and touch me and told me that he still wanted to do those things. None ofthis made any sense to me.


My first ever boyfriend of 4 years plus broke up with me by saying “let’s just be friends”, “I don’t see a future with you anymore, I’ve tried but I just can’t.”, “You’ve to understand that it’s not you, it’s me. Even if you change, I’ll still be the same and eventually the same problem will unfold and we’ll quarrel again”. I’ve sent him threads of messages saying I’ll change and will be able to overlook issues and gradually hope that things will change for the better, but he seems to have made up his mind and wanna end this relationship with me.


First, let’s make one thing clear: just because your partner is exhibiting a couple of the behaviours that I just talked about doesn’t mean that they’re definitely planning to file for divorce. It may simply be that these are indicators of trouble ahead in your marriage. But if you’ve seen several of these indicators in your spouse recently, and you’re feeling that things aren’t on track with your marriage, I encourage you to act to turn things around now before matters get any worse.

Stop trying to get your ex back if the relationship was toxic or abusive. It might feel temporarily lonely or even boring to be on your own after the end of a tumultuous relationship, but try to ride that feeling out instead of going back to your ex. On again, off again relationships tend to be based on unhealthy patterns that won't go away. Resist the temptation to jump right back in when you know you're better off without him.
Here is where he gets to see the beautiful woman you are in person. He gets to witness your positive vibe and new and improved look in the flesh. Like the reach out stage, there are no “rules” here. The light and fun vibe you brought to the conversations you’ve previously had should shine through just as bright. If your positive vibe is derived from genuine positive thoughts and emotions, interacting with him should be easy and effortless.
To begin the process, I recommend that you have what I call the Perfection Conversation with her. Essentially, you need to acknowledge to her that you are not perfect (in terms of how you’ve been behaving and treating her), but for the sake of your love, you are willing to continually make a serious effort to become a better man for her. In the same conversation, you also need to get her to acknowledge and realize that she is not perfect either.
My boyfriend and I are in complicated situation, we want to be together but we can’t because of his mother, so we are just being friends now and he says that we are more than that but less then couples. I don’t know what to think cause’ sometime it feels like he doesn’t want to talk to me or that he’s only giving me short answers when we text but when you skype, its a whole different situation. When we skype, it feels like that we were still going out and so its confusing me so much. We would still be together if his mum didn’t poke her nose in our business but I understand that he’s respecting her wants but it hurts me. She think that she is doing a good thing when it’s causing so much pain for me to not even be able to see him in person, I need help to know what to do please.
You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.
Sometimes the break up is so unique or troubling or complex, that it requires some specialized coaching.  Or sometimes, people do better if they can talk to someone who is an expert at helping folks with their relationship troubles.  Well, if you fall into that category, then you are in luck.  All you need to do is reach out to me (i.e. click Coaching Services in my website’s Menu Section) and I am sure we can work out something!
Hey i need to ask some queations! My name is khizra and problem is i had break up with my boyfriend 2 days ago!! And firstly i want to clear that it’s been a five year’s now we are in relationship but the problem is i have a bad past and he know’s everything about it and that time he was just my friend but the beggining i love him and i told him when we first met but he said i have a bad past and you’ve done wrong with me because i was already there that’s true he was there but he’s the one who make me cry all over the night’s .he don’t accept my love that time and that make me down many times in these situation i have done something wrong with other guy’s to make him jealous but now i am thinking and cry that these decisions are the worst decisions that i have done in my life but i sorry about it and try to convience him that i was just my mistakes but never understand my feelings hs always thinking that i’ve cheated him and telling lies all the time he don’t trust me i want to marry with him but he don’t want he said he loves me and yes he loves me i belive that but he dont respect me and trust me his desperation level for me now just gone.but the truth is i really love him i want to marry with him :'( but he dont want like that and 2 days ago we had fight each other and he left me but he don’t talk with me and it makes me cry every single day and night i am feel like nothing please help me :'(

Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. It's not unheard of for a couple to get back together after they've taken time away from each other, so don't give up hope. Just be sure to put plenty of thought into the reasons you broke up before attempting to get back together, as this can help you make the relationship work the second time around.

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