I decided I had to take matters into my own hands and since I spend a lot of my workday online, that’s where I looked for answers. I discovered a wealth of information on the internet and in the course of my online travels I came upon some great products that were heads above the rest in terms of quality and professionalism. These products (for example the excellent Save My Marriage Today system by Amy Waterman, and the first marriage book I ever read, the invaluable Save the Marriage by Lee Baucom really changed my perception of the problems my wife and I had, and it was like turning on a light bulb.
I met a guy whilst travelling in Australia, and we dated for four months and travelled together the whole time. He said he loved me many times, that I made him feel things he never felt before and couldn’t stand the thought of me being with anyone else. Things felt so perfect. He made me feel like he wanted me so much. We are both from the same area in the UK and planned to carry things on when getting home. The last time I saw him at the airport, he told me he loved me and would be waiting for me when I got home in 2 weeks. However, as soon as he arrived home, he told me he changed his mind and didn’t want to commit to a relationship because of work and because his life is too busy. In the same phone call he also told me that he didn’t want me to get with anyone else. I love him so much, I started no contact as soon as he broke up with me and we haven’t spoken since (its been 10 days). I accepted his decision and told him that I couldn’t be friends right now as it was too hurtful, and that he had no right to expect me to wait around and not get with anyone else. He got very angry at this and called me bitter and childish. I don’t understand how his feelings changed so quickly. We still stayed friends on social media. I upload photos of me having a great time with friends, never post anything negative (although deep down i’m really suffering). I’m focusing on me, have taken up a new hobby and started hitting the gym more often. I just love him and miss him so much, every morning I hope today is the day he will message to say he made a mistake and wants me back. Is there any chance he will come back soon? or eventually? I don’t know what to do to make this happen. Any advice would be great.
My boyfriend of seven months broke up with me two days ago. We were really good together, we had a great complicity, friendship, we were always there for each other and like best friends. What went wrong is that I have important anxiety issues and i’ve let them get the best of me and take over our relationship. I have a lot of fears, of abandonment and such. We were constantly fighting because of this, and I believe he did his best to be patient and there for me. My anxieties were mostly caused by the fact that it took him a long time to be ready for a relationship in the beggining, plus he wasnt totally over his ex. He eventually got there but I never completely calmed down about this, until it was already too late.
He needs his space, personal time to focus on nothing but himself. I thought he was getting enough, until he asked for more. He was constantly tired, rarely made attempts at making love or kissing unless he was drunk… I thought it was because of his dedication to his work that we weren’t spending as much time together- which I will never resent or hold against him. He broke up with me saying that this wasn’t working… That he wasn’t in the relationship as much as he was and that I deserve better. What is so much more confusing is that he kept calling me pet names- Babe, Hun, Sweetie… Why would he do that? In my mind, it’s because he does want to be with me, and genuinely doesn’t feel like he’s good enough. I have been there for him through this, as a supportive girlfriend does, doing this not only for him, but for us. I gave this 100% and refuse to believe that there will be nothing in the future. I love him and God knows we are perfect together. Please, help.
Healing your marriage is about deciding what changes your relationship needs in order to be stronger, healthier and happier, and then making those changes happen. It is about taking charge and not letting the winds of fate control your lives. “Yes,” you say. “Where do I begin? What do I work on? How am I going to save my marriage?” Well, your answers begin here.
I still obsess (2 months) about the relationship. I miss being a part of a family, I miss having dinner with him, the sex was mindblowing, sleeping next to him, the lazy weekends and the busy doing things together weekends, waiting for him to come home from work, I miss “our” home, his daughters, his family, Sunday afternoon cookouts at his moms…. I still have the most horrible days when I believe it was all my fault and I was just not good enough and will never be good enough for anyone. I let him do that to me. And yes, I sometimes want that back, him back… Yet, somehow I know that, eventually I will be ok, better than ever. Wish it would get here faster!
The next thing I want you to do is to stop running from your painful emotions and embrace them. We women tend to stuff down our emotions for fear that a man will get scared by them and run away. But the real truth is that men LOVE our emotional nature – it’s drama that they can’t tolerate. When we learn to get in touch with our feelings and express them in a non–judging, non–critical way, a man will not feel blamed and will feel COMPELLED to open his heart to you.
My GF and I were together for close to a year. She broke up with me about 3 months ago. Our relationship was actually really good. We hadn’t had any real disagreements. We communicated really well. We were planning on living together. Then Oade a huge mistake. I lied to her about something huge and important. I did so because I let my ego and pride get in the way of my rational thinking. She has completely shut me out of her life. She has blocked me from her phone, email and FB. I did make all of the early breakup mistakes like pleading with her to take me back. Apologizing over and over. It finally dawned on me that I never let her know that I wasn’t taking her feelings into consideration. I let her know that I did after a short period of time. I have read several different get your ex back e-books. All of them do not seem very promising as I am a woman and I try to think about how I would react to some of the steps given. I have done the no contact step. I have written her a couple of letters apologizing again. The last letter I wrote I basically told her some things I loved about her, how I was angry that when the going got tough she ran and that I was saying goodbye and good luck to her. I just dropped it off so I have not received a response…if I get one at all. I do love her and I do want her back. I can honestly say she is the one for me. Some of my friends have given me the “there are other fish in the sea” speech. That’s not what I want. I want the one that I love back. I guess I’m looking for some more advice. Anything I have missed in this whole process. Thanks head of time for any advice given. I do really appreciate it.
Your first problem is that through your internal, OCD, one-track, incessant hamster wheel thoughts (and it doesn’t matter if no one knows what you’re thinking. Your thoughts will always seep out into your actions) and through your actions, you are essentially begging for him back. You have to take a step back, take a breath and vow to put an end to the crazy, an END to the insanity. No one likes crazy and it looks pathetic, desperate and awful on anyone that tries it on. Begging for him back is the worst approach possible. Men, no matter what they may claim, are very territorial. Men want what they can’t have. He may scream from the rooftops that he doesn’t want you and never wants to see you again and he may even really think that he doesn’t want you but I can assure you, he won’t sleep well at night wondering why it is that suddenly you appear to not give a flying F*CK and why it is you’ve gone from Desperate Debby to #IDFWU please-forget-my-name Patty.
Recall those early days of your relationship when your partner could not get enough of you. He or she would call constantly, stay on the phone for hours, talk with you all night. Now time has passed, and you no longer get butterflies in your tummy when you think of your sweetheart. The spark is gone. You still have romantic feelings for him or her, but you sense that your partner no longer cares as much about the relationship — or at least not as much as you do. You no longer have the upper hand.
First thank you so much for this website!!! I found it the other day and it has already helped so much with helping me feel empowered again and work on my own self-care. I love the way you describe everything, even though I am still having a hard time, your posts bring me back to reality and help me to focus on myself and know I deserve better. So the short story is I was friends with my ex for over a year at the same undergrad and we went on a service trip together. We started dating during the summer and it was long distance for about 6 months. All of my friends and I agreed that he was such a respectful, kind, and all around great guy. I thought things were going well, he would tell me how much he cared about me and how he was lucky and glad he met me. I was supposed to go to his friends NYE wedding with him. Two days before the wedding he called and said the military is more important to him, he can’t do long distance, and he hasn’t liked me for the past month and a half even when he came to my family’s house. I was heartbroken and it felt unreal because of all the plans he’d been making and things he’d been saying to me. I didn’t think he was the kind of guy who could lie to me. My friends are saying he could just be confused and nervous about having to start different schooling with the military. It feels like he didn’t even try to fix things and give it a chance. I hate how much he hurt me but I do still love and care about him. It hurts because it has only been 2 weeks and on Monday he sent me a song title (because he used to send me a song of the week) but nothing else. Then the other night he sent me a message on Snapchat but I’m trying really hard not to open it since he would see that I did. I am doing no contact and reading your article has helped convince me that I need to do it for myself and focus on myself not to get him back. I deserve a guy that truly loves me and will chase after me even if times get tough. Thank you for helping me realize this!
My boyfriend is not really successful and it made me worry if he could support the family if we ever get to that point. It bothers me a lot. He’s 35 and I’m 23 so he’s close to that point of having a family, and we even started talking about babies and moving in. Until I met my boss, who likes me a lot. I let him bring me to some fancy places where my boyfriend can’t, he even buy me gifts. I felt good and secured coz he’s a nice guy and could take care of me. And my boyfriend caught us through my phone. I realized how much I hurt him and regret what I’ve done. I want him back but he already put restraining order for me and said leave him alone or else he’s gonna file a report of harassment if I don’t stop texting me. I want him back. I don’t wanna be with anybody. I know I did something really stupid but now I realized how much he means to me. I want things to go back to what it used to be.im ready to change and Make myself better. But do u think he’s still gonna forgive me for what I’ve done?
My boyfriend and I just broke up a few days ago. He said it wasn’t working out between us. He said that we argue too much and that I get frustrated way too easily. We did argue and I would get mad over little things. But we would always talk out the issues and for the most part move on from them. Recently I had become really jealous of this girl that works with us. I felt like she was extra flirty with him and it made me feel insecure. I talked to him about it and told him to say something to her about it. He declined saying that it would make there working relationship awkward. He said I should trust him and he does not like her. I kept pressing. The next day he broke up with me. I really care about him and I want him back. I’ve been texting him constantly and I feel bad for doing that. I will give him some space to think and hopefully this will help us. I really want us to be together.
With Kelly and Greg, it was Kelly who started the process. She found me on the internet , downloaded Save the Marriage and began the process of saving the marriage. . . by herself. Greg was still bent on a divorce, but Kelly still had hope. . . and took action. Fairly quickly, Greg was less insistent on the divorce, but still assumed it was their only option. Eventually, he agreed to spend that hour with me, in person. . . leaving their divorce attorneys waiting.
I am currently in a bad situation with my boyfriend, he has decided that we are friends and not in a relationship as it was too intense and aggressive with the rows. I really really want to win him back but mostly win his trust back. It’s only been a short time so I can’t expect too much but I really struggle sleeping separately and not ‘going along’ as we did as a couple! He has done this before and with time and comfort, let his hair down and come back. I just don’t know if he is too stubborn this time?! I know he loves me under all of the anger and pain
My god, you have described men to a ‘t’! Any man that’s rotunda having had a lot of ego & the truth is they are pussycsts underneath! Thankyou for this – it’s saved my heart as it’s reminded me of everything I already know but sealed it, no empathy and heart break after being left with our tiny baby after being very in love or atleast I thought we were! Apparently he wants to ‘be free’ and not be ‘ tied down’! Says he doesn’t love me, never did but tried! I’m a fairly ok attractive woman (just so you don’t think he pulled out bcs I have one leg or something) so much so that he begged me to get a tattoo of his initials as he loved me so much! but I pulled out. How does that work then????am mans madly in love with you, sees you vulnerable and kegs it! Nice ?
When I didn’t hear a response from him the next few days, I decided to text him. I said I missed him and asked what was going on since he didn’t really give me an answer before. He responded that I was being mean to him and blaming him for everything and making fun of him. I had no idea where that had come from and when I asked him, he didn’t really respond. I was so devastated.
Trying to work through marital problems can be a daunting process, and you might not even know where to start. Every marriage is unique, so figure out the specific issues at the heart of your conflict. In order to find solutions, you and your spouse will need to communicate openly and constructively. Try to stay positive, and avoid blaming, stonewalling, and launching personal attacks at each other. Rebuilding your bond will take time, so have patience. A marriage counselor can help mend the gap, so don't feel embarrassed about reaching out to a professional.
The love that you and a woman share NEVER goes away. What happens is that the love gets pushed into the background because of all the negative feelings in the foreground. To get back in touch with the loving feelings you once experienced with each other, you need to make changes to your behavior and how you treat her. When you do this correctly, the love naturally comes flooding back.
If you show her that you’re sad, you’re proving that you cared about her. If she sees you cry, she’ll know that leaving you had an effect on you. She wants to know that she was cared for even if she’s not interested in being with you right now. This proves that you weren’t just a waste of her time and that you were just as invested in the relationship as she was.
Hey Chris! Okay my issue is abit complicated, my ex and i mate early 2016, by then I think I was the ungetable girl” he perused till I gave in, we started dating, thou he would never introduce me to his friends or family because he claimed they are racist, I am a black lady and his white, so apparently our reletionship was “private “we were happy until december 2016 he resigned from his work place and decided to go bck to his country and promised me he would try to make this work, sometimes I would get mad for not knwing Any of his relatives/ friends , but he said its beyond his control because they would disown him if they found out, so 2017 our reletionship was on and off he was not in a good place career wise, but he kept supporting me and he would get me plane tickets atleast after a month to be with him but still in private, same continued till last year July when he told me he wanted someone close to him coz he is lonely and everyone around him is dating white women so he wants to find one , like any other broken girl I tried begging and convinced him to be with him but he said we better as friends and we both need people close to us, he continued supporting me thou and we kept having sex as friends while long distance I would visit and vice versa until he started hanging around with new friends and my friend’s would see him on dating site’s like tinder trying to move on ,so I found out and we had a big fight ,he kept saying sorry, and deleted tinder but from December his ignoring me, if I don’t text he won’t say a word, so I started no contact 2 weeks now and he hasn’t reached out, I really love him I still want him in my life what should I do?
It is natural to feel anxious and sad when this happens. Your anguish may lead you to attempt to use various manipulation tactics to get the upper hand in your relationship. But playing games to gain or regain the power in a relationship is bound to lead to its demise. There are many relationships in which one person holds more power than the other, but these tend to be extremely unhealthy. Physically or verbally abusive relationships, relationships in which one partner is cheating, and relationships in which one partner has more assets than the other (that are not common property) are often doomed to fail or to lead to heartbreak and unhappiness.
I don’t know how to even function without him. My boyfriend broke up with me two days ago. We have been dating for a year. I was talking to this guy that he told me not to talk to. This guy was just a friend and I never, ever flirted with him in anyway. After all, this guy had a girlfriend. I was taking to this guy, because he had issues and was thinking about committing suicide. So, I thought I could help him. Thing is, I told my boyfriend I wouldn’t talk to guys if it wasn’t about school. I agreed to that and I shouldn’t have. Especially since I don’t get along with females and I grew up with mostly guy friends. My boyfriend and I have had arguments in the past about me having guy friends. He refuses to let me text or talk to them. However, he has many female friends and I don’t have a problem with that. Except, a couple of days ago, I found out he was talking to this Hispanic hoe that works at Waffle House. Apparently, they talked on the phone all night too. I was upset about that. He claimed I wasn’t giving him enough attention, so he went to that hoe. BUT i blamed myself for that and forgave him. SO like the next day, he found out I was talking to the same guy that he told me not to talk to. (BTW this guy isn’t a bad guy. I have no feeling towards him either) I tried to explain why I was talking to this guy, but he just got upset and started yelling at me. Literally, the dude went crazy and there was nothing I could say to him at that time that would make him feel better. I just dropped him home and.. I haven’t spoke to him or seen him since that day. I sent him TONS of text messages and voice-mails. He hasn’t replied. I’m really angry with myself that I lied to him and I wish I could fix everything by just being honest. I’m not sure if he would ever talk to me again. He’s known for cutting girls off for YEARS! Honestly, I feel soo lost without him. I wouldn’t even be in college right now if it wasn’t for him. He is literally my best-friend and we have been through so much together. However I feel like he has had enough with me. WHAT DO I DO? (And I refuse to give him time… He doesn’t need time. He needs me!)
My boyfriend and I got into a fight. He got arrested and charged. I understand that he’s very upset about that. I’m upset about it too. He moved some of his stuff out and staying at his mom’s house. He has depression really bad and now his even more depressed. I didn’t want him home until I knew it was safe for him to come home. We both said we are together but just taking a breather. He is so depressed that he quit his job, drinking and being neglectful. We will text great one day and talked about our issues. Everything seems great then the next day nothing. I picked him up one night he was shaking and have lost a lot of weight (it’s only been 2 weeks). We had a great night. The next more he got upset thinking that my kids didn’t want him around they are happy without him. My kids are really confused right now. I got him to eat and shower ect. Took him back to his mom ( not wanting to). We texted and I admit to my faults and mean it. He said he forgives me bit I broke him for what I said when I was angry and I said the same to him. But deep down I knew he was only mad but longer he stays away I’m starting to believe what he says. Now the next day no answer.. I know he has low self esteem issues and depression. He won’t take his name of the lease agreement and tells me he’s coming back. I’m starting to believe he’s playing games even though he’s not the type but being around his family he might have changed.. How long should I wait before shutting his phone off and car insurance. I’m not sure if he wants to be together or not. HELP PLEASE!!!
Stop, breathe, and relax instead of yelling. No matter how frustrated you are with your spouse, do your very best to control your temper. In order to save your marriage, you and your spouse both need to keep your emotions in check. Inhale slowly, close your eyes, count, and remind yourself that you’ll only solve your problems with mutual respect.
The relationship is going really well in the beginning. You are seeing each other often and enjoy one another. You begin to prioritize him over other things going on in your life, like hobbies or nights out with friends. You tell yourself you are comfortable and don’t need to be “out there.” Everything is just the way you like it until … for some reason, you feel him pulling away.
I broke up with my boyfriend about three weeks ago. He initiated it saying that things wasn’t the same, that he loved me but he felt like we were not happy together as we were before. We were together for 2 and a half years mostly in a long distance relationship but about three months ago I moved to his country to be closer and managed to be only a four hour drive away sop that we could see each other on weekends. It came as a huge surprise to me and I was (still am) a wreck about it… It is even harder now that I am in a big city on my own so it is hard to think about anything else. After that we texted for about a week because he wants to stay friend but it was very hard for me because it gave me the illusion that it was not really over and even though I tried to keep it light we couldn’t help but mention the breakup and how I was sad etc. After one last text where he said that for him his decision was made and he wasn’t going to change his mind, I was really hurt and asked him that we stop contacting each other for a while so that I can get better. The thing is that like many of you I suppose, I really want him back and I cannot help but think that this is the only thing in the world that I really want because I do love him. I know he is young (22) and that he probably feels like he wants to get more experience with other people but I cannot help but feel that we are right for each other… I haven’t harassed him or stalked him so I got that going for me… Now I am trying my best to not contact him for a while and work on myself to look better and feel better and hopefully see him again. I wanted to ask anyone for advice on this No Contact Rule, do you think it is efficient? Is there a chance we can be together again? Also since we live within a four hour drive distance it will be difficult for me to re-connect with him… I mean if he comes see me or I go see him we will have to sleep at each others places… Which is not that great to try to give it some space at first… Any advice for a broken heart is welcome! :)
If your partner is staying out late more often, and showing less interest in family and spending time together, that may be an indication that they are either unhappy with the situation at home. It may also be that they’re preparing mentally for life apart, building a social life or possibly even dating. Hopefully that’s not the case, and don’t prematurely accuse your spouse of this just because they’re home less often, but it is a possibility.
It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.
I love the no contact rule blog post!! And it really showed me some insights, thanks so much for that. Two weeks ago I broke up. I have to deal with the fact that he’s biking through my street to work every morning and evening. One time he was biking by and we saw each other and he waved, well i just crashed.. the other day we bumped into each other. This doesn’t really help me in my process to be honoust. Can I text him and ask if he could take another way to work maybe or what should I do about this?
That time you did tequila shots and went skinny dipping. The amazing sangria you shared in Spain on your honeymoon. The first time your hands touched reaching for popcorn in the movie theater. Memories that make you smile and remember the good times – these are things worth holding onto, according to Russo. "Great memories are the glue that can hold a relationship together," she says. "When things are tough, people tend to look back on all of the good times with their partner and feel hopeful that they can get back to that happy place again." Russo says it's key to zone in on how loved you felt in the past. "Get inspired to work hard on the relationship to bring all of those good feelings back and make new memories."
Hey,I'm so excited my broken Marriage has been restored & my husband is back after he left me and our 2 kids for another woman. After 8 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart. my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across Priest Elijah he can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back the next day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before,All thanks to Priest Elijah. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Priest Elijah is a real and very powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the times of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Effectivelovespell1 @gmail. com , you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2347067136561
My story illustrates the power of working on yourself, of being your best self, of being in a happy, settled place before you enter into a relationship. The reason my husband doesn’t know what shifted is that it wasn’t a tangible thing. It was my vibe and my energy. I changed a lot from the beginning of the summer to the end, I did a lot of important inner work and I genuinely loved myself and was happy with my life. That’s the kind of energy that draws people in. That’s what makes people see you in a different light.
I want to say a very big thanks to Dr OLU for the wonderful work he did for me in helping me to save my marriage, my husband ask for a divorce letter because of the little misunderstanding we had in the past few month, And i never wanted this because i love my husband so much and all our investment was a joint business and i don't want to be far away from my family and my two lovely kids. My friend told me about Dr OLU and how he also helped her with her marital issues, so i had to contact him because i want to stop my husband from completing the divorce letter and i want to keep my family together and after contacting him, i was told what i needed to do and when i was going to start seeing the result, I did as Dr. OLU has instructed and after 3 days my Husband call me and start asking for my forgiveness and it was all like a dream to me and we are all living happily together again all thanks to Dr OLU. Contact Him today for marital help via his Whatsapp number: +2348067704010 or call him.
Hello,My name is cherry from New Zealand,wellington,i am very happy at last i am married with kids to the one i loved so much,my ex-lover now[husband],who left me for two years,Thanks to Dr Maxi for helping me cast the spell that brings back my ex-lover now [husband],I am grateful to you Dr Maxi for always been there for me when i needed him most,You two can also be helped by my Doctor his email is firstname.lastname@example.org
There’s this guy I used to date and I honestly don’t remember who broke up with who but my friend asked him why he doesn’t like me and he said I hurt him real bad but I don’t remember ever hurting him all I remember is him dating my other friend and I really want him back but it would be so awkward to walk up to him. We never talk but I really want him back!
Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. It's not unheard of for a couple to get back together after they've taken time away from each other, so don't give up hope. Just be sure to put plenty of thought into the reasons you broke up before attempting to get back together, as this can help you make the relationship work the second time around.
You need to give her space for three reasons: 1) People simply need space; if you can't give her any space, maybe that's something you can work on to show her that you've changed. 2) She'll get an opportunity to realize how good you are; not that she doesn't know this already, but she may not feel it in her bones. 3) You'll show her how independent you are on your own; the "rebel" is so attractive to women because he's totally on his own and doesn't need other people.
My ex loved me like crazy and i didnt quite value it. I broke up with him 6 months back. And then i realized i loved him, so i became clingy and irritating and moody, things got worse and it was the first time that he told me that he didnt want to get back. We were best friends from 3 years, and we dated for 8 months. Now he has come back, he just wants to be friends, though he is not dating anyone. I am so in love with him!! He says he loves me when he is drunk but something else when he is sober. He is giving me so many mixed signals that it hurts. I have no idea what to do.
And now he is texting me everyday, not a lot but to know how i’m doing, says I can talk to him whenever I want, that he wants us to stay best friends like we used to and that he wants me to “be myself” with him, text him whatever I want…But I know he doesnt really want to talk to me, like if he has a problem he will go to someone else. I think he is mostly being nice, and trying to ease the break up for himself by not losing me completely (he said that if we keep talking its easier cause it’s “more normal”).