You have to look at both negative and positive aspects of your ex and your relationship. Every couple on the face of this planet fights, but if you two broke up, then chances are there was something seriously wrong with your relationship. Think about your relationship rationally. Don’t let your emotions control your thoughts. Imagine, you are a parent and your child was in the same situation as you, would you still tell your son or daughter to get their ex back?
Right now you may not believe that all these can push your girlfriend further away and cancel out your chances of getting her back. What can actually help you will seem meaningless, but it is a mistake to think so. There are entire methodologies created to explain female psychology! In this book you will learn the steps you can take to get your girlfriend to become agreeable and pleasant. She will unlikely be able to resist you. It is just the way women are built.
My boyfriend just broke up with me 3 days ago and weve been together for 2 years and 8 months. We had been madly in love with each other and he asked me to marry him twice even tho we couldn’t actually get married because we were only 16 at the time but he asked me all the time well we got in a fight and I told him I couldn’t handle how he was treating me so I told him we needed to break up, he was very heart broken and cried and begged me to take him back and I did within 5 hours. But then about 4 months later he broke up with me he said he wasn’t the same since I broke up with him and that he was done. well while we were broken up for about a week he had sex with another girl, just a rebound hook up and he hates talking about it. but He had lied to me about it when we got back together and said they had kissed and he left and I didn’t care because I had my love back, but then 7 months later we were using his phone to get on facebook and he accidently sent a message to a girl we were both talking for different reasons and he said oh hey I accidently sent molly a message on your facebook I thought I was on mine. well I didn’t really think much of it but then I was wondering what could he be talking to her about? well I got on his facebook and he was talking to molly about her best friend he had the rebound hook up with and I freaked out and left and he called me franticly wanting to know where I went and I asked him about him having sex with another girl and that he had told me they only kissed and he came clean and said he did and he told me he understood if I never talked to him again but I love him more than life so I said no were just gonna have to work through it and your going to have to be patient with me because you’ve lost almost all my trust. well we did have our fights but we always worked through them and figured out what was wrong but I did use him lying to me as a weapon when we got in fights and he started to get very angry that I was still bringing it up. well we talked and before he had broken up with me the first time he said that if we broke up again he would never get back together with me because he didn’t want to string things out but we did get back together he text me saying he still loved me and wanted me back so we got back together. Then he had me move into his parents house with him and things were normal but he got another job and worked more hours so it added some stress and I was getting stressed out about my own job and we did take it out on each other. but we had our good days and bad ones we would go on date nights and laugh and have fun and I asked him if we break up were never getting back together are we? and he just wrapped me in a hug and said it doesn’t matter how many times we break up we will always get back together because I love you way too much to let you go forever. well I found out he had been messaging other girls about our relationship issues which really bothered me because I thought we could talk about anything and sharing any of our concerns with each other he told me all the time that I was his best friend and I would joke around and say yeah well your not mine but then I would tell him later that he is my best friend and I love him. I just wanted to be able to talk about anything and not hide things. but then on my graduation night three days ago I had to work at 5 am and then do my grad stuff and he had to work at noon so we weren’t going to really see each other except after my graduation so when we got home after dinner he told me he didn’t have to be at work for a half hour and I thought oh cool we can hangout and relax since we haven’t seen each other all day well he started to rush off to work and I got upset and I said so your choosing work over me on my grad night? and he got mad and left when he came home from work he went in the bathroom and left his phone on the night stand I did think I was going to find anything on his phone he had only talked to his mom and a co worker but I was bored so looked through what he was saying to his mom and pretty much he felt like we needed to break up but he felt bad about it and didn’t know what to do and his mom just didn’t want him to feel stuck but he also was talking about how I got upset at him going to work but twisted it so it was completely different then why I was mad. well when he came back I just quoted his text to his mom and asked so you don’t want to be together anymore and he got upset and withdrew from me but after we talked for awhile we weren’t as mad at each other and my friend asked if she needed to pick me up because I told her what was going on and I told my boyfriend that she would come get me but then he changed and was telling me I didn’t have to leave and I could stay there with him but I just calmly said no its okay Ill leave and while I was waiting for my friend it actually looked like he was about to cry before I left. well the next morning I text him asking where we were at relationship wise and the night before he said he didn’t know what he wanted to do yet that I should keep my key to the house because he didn’t know what was going to happen yet, well when I text him he told me he just couldn’t get back together and that it was over and he was done but in a way that didn’t sound like him. and I begged him not to do that but I just went to the house and moved my stuff out while he was gone and I asked him what things he wanted me to take and he didn’t really care if it was something I got him he would say well ill keep it but if you want it you can take it. then yesterday I text him wondering if he could bring my cd and a couple other things I left at his house to my house and if we could talk and he was very short and said he didn’t know what we would talk about when the other night he said we could talk whenever I needed to and that he was always here for me and that he still cares about me and that you don’t be with someone and spend almost 3 years of your life with someone and not still care for them but when he replied with being angry and mean I just stop texting him because hes acting really weird and idk if its because hes hurt to and confused and doesn’t know what to do because he told me hes not happy with where hes at (he graduated last year and isn’t in school just works) and that hes going no where in life and that I deserve better and hes just an assh*le to me and not doing anything with his life and that hes super stressed out. so I don’t know what to do I haven’t text him today and all my friends say to just give him space and even his sister said let him be he will start missing you after a few days and hell want you back which I hope is true because I want to start over with a clean slate like this articles says and just try again but different approach I know what Ive been doing wrong and I love him so much and I know he use to love me too and when were together we are super happy when its just us but his friend who told me he was jealous of mine and my boyfriends relationship because his gf is off in the navy now he wouldn’t let us have time alone just constant on top of us even my boyfriends parents would ask me about it and say wow you guys don’t get alone time anymore and it made me stressed out because he is just using my boyfriends house as a place to drink and smoke and he gets jealous when my boyfriend isn’t giving him all his attention and I feel like that also had stressed him out too which sucks because Ive been blinded by my own problems and stress I didn’t realize he was hurting too. so im talking to his mom tomorrow to find out if I even still have a chance and whats actually going on with my boyfriend =/ I just hope that he cares about me enough to still want to try but idk I need advice on what I need to do and what I should do!
There was this guy I really liked and he liked me so he asked me out. We were together and it was all going really good…..One day we got in our first fight and he broke up with me and I never knew why. I’m trying to get back together with him. There is this guy and he flirts with me from time to time in front of my ex and he turns red and gets jealous I guess, but he never talks to me..But he stares at me. I try to get in contact with him and everything but he shows no interest to talk to me…..I’m just confused

First thank you so much for this website!!! I found it the other day and it has already helped so much with helping me feel empowered again and work on my own self-care. I love the way you describe everything, even though I am still having a hard time, your posts bring me back to reality and help me to focus on myself and know I deserve better. So the short story is I was friends with my ex for over a year at the same undergrad and we went on a service trip together. We started dating during the summer and it was long distance for about 6 months. All of my friends and I agreed that he was such a respectful, kind, and all around great guy. I thought things were going well, he would tell me how much he cared about me and how he was lucky and glad he met me. I was supposed to go to his friends NYE wedding with him. Two days before the wedding he called and said the military is more important to him, he can’t do long distance, and he hasn’t liked me for the past month and a half even when he came to my family’s house. I was heartbroken and it felt unreal because of all the plans he’d been making and things he’d been saying to me. I didn’t think he was the kind of guy who could lie to me. My friends are saying he could just be confused and nervous about having to start different schooling with the military. It feels like he didn’t even try to fix things and give it a chance. I hate how much he hurt me but I do still love and care about him. It hurts because it has only been 2 weeks and on Monday he sent me a song title (because he used to send me a song of the week) but nothing else. Then the other night he sent me a message on Snapchat but I’m trying really hard not to open it since he would see that I did. I am doing no contact and reading your article has helped convince me that I need to do it for myself and focus on myself not to get him back. I deserve a guy that truly loves me and will chase after me even if times get tough. Thank you for helping me realize this!

Your article gave me hope. There is no question on any level but that I am the best sex he’s ever had and on top of that he says no one has ever treated him like I have. Yet he has walked away. I am devastated. But he has had some family and work issues this year and all I did was whine I was selfish. So now I have let him go. Please tell me the mindvlowing genuine sex snd the fact that I treated him nice will bring him back (it always has before but he seems indifferent to me..being very distant) . He has come back after some pretty bad fhts in the beginning (we got over that years ago) just want to give him his space. The problem is he has a shallowness to him so if he hooks up with someone hot he will actually feel good because he looks good with her not because he feels good like he feels with me. Its sad to watch. His self esteem is bad. I wanted him to feel loved and he did..why is it never enough?
My boyfriend and I were together for almost 3 yrs our relationship was amazing u til I made the biggest mistake of my life by sleeping with someone else. Eventually my boyfriend found out and he gave me a chance to try and make him fall in love with me again. It seem to work for about 6 mo the we were doing very well but I had a car accident became very depressed and had severe anxiety I asked him for support a week later he told me he no longer felt the same way about. He said he really tried after I messed up but now he just wasn’t in love with me. I really live him and want to make things work out. Anyone have any advice?
I so wanna do this nc thing but when i do say 2 days, he will text me little questions like “do you remember where i put my …” And i have never never ignored him at all. Yes he has signs of a narcissist. And he comes from a broken family. We worked at the same place and thats hard for me. You know people would talk and all. I have been laughed at for being the provider. From money to time to chauffeuring him. And that hurts because i did all that in the name of love. But he didn’t appreciate me. In fact he treats me like kids treating a mom. No calls the whole day, busy with everyone. Only finds me when he needs something. He cheats on me too.
Please help bring back the relationship that we once had. I miss the things that we used to do. I feel that the enemy is always taking away things from me especially when things are going good for me. I am so tired of crying and being depressed because of the enemy interfering with my happiness. Please Jesus bring back the man that i want to share my life with and the happiness we once shared. Don’t let the enemy keep winning and help me to keep my faith in you strong so that the enemy will not take away our happiness
Me and my girl been dating for almost 18 months. And I became depending and demanding which leads to posessive attitude. Starts acting jealous and shit. The last months before we broke up we had a huge fight. We yelled to each other, and she hits and kicks me like crazy and I lose my temper back then. I slap her cheek once (not in purpose) and I cried over her because I felt so wronged for doing that. Things seems to go well, but all of a sudden she blow up some litlle mess into a reason for broke me up. She oftenhy hide something for me. Even lied to me. But I don’t know, my heart still beats for her. I even saw still her posting pics on our date. Been 6 months since we broke up and she never respond to my text and calls. I tried to hold it, but last week we talked through text. And I begged her to come back. Remind her things we used to do. But the answer is “no, I can’t be with you anymore” “don’t bother me!” “Go find another girl, or either I will” . She’s an introvert. I always honest to her. Never mess with any other girl. And I’m the one who took her virginity. I feel responsible for that. I don’t want another man used her! Need to get her back. But none of no talking method works. I feel guilty when I text and begged her after months I gave her own space to cool down. :( I really love her man. Please help me. Desperately needed advice. Thanks a lot. -z-
By ex dumped me new years eve after over a year together and I feel like my world has been ripped apart. We rushed into our relationship…or should I say he did. When we first met, he stayed one night…then another…then another and before you knew it, he had never left. He moved his things in and we were happy. I adore him and he said he adored me. There was talk or marriage and children. But in the last few weeks we had been arguing so much. I found out he had lied several times, met his ex’s etc so we argued. And the day b4 new years eve I found out he was out with his ex gf while I was at work. So I went mad and we argued. The next day he finished with me saying it was to hard. We argue to much, he needs his own space, his own life and his own belongings etc. He said he loves me and wants me so much it hurts but he needs to sort his head out and there is no chance. 2days later he said that he will ‘think’ about us after he’s sorted his head out. He’s taken his stuff and moved into a house 20seconds from my place. I want to believe that he will be back after I give him space but I’m so worried that he is just trying not to hurt me my giving me this false hope and in a few weeks when I’m not so raw, realise that he either wants single life or a new gf and say its 100% over :( iv not bugged him all the time with messages and I havnt called him once. Iv told him I will give him space until the end of january and not tx me until he knows what he wants. I’m worried he will forget about me and not miss me. He wants holidays with his mates etc and I can’t go because I have two children and money issues, so I think he may realise that freedom is what he wants. I offered him a compromise by saying that he can move out, see his friends etc but we start again, date slowly like once a week etc but he hasn’t responded much. I’m so confused and it hurts so much I physically can’t cope with the pain. Some advice would really help me please :(
Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
my boyfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago, and hasnt talked to me since. he didn’t give me a reason why, he just told me that he wanted to be honest and that he didnt love me anymore, i have heard no rumors of there being another person in his life. up to the day he broke up with me we had been out of contact for about a week and a half because he was very sick and couldnt talk. he wouldnt let me visit him, so i couldnt do anything to help. then on a wednesday morning he told me that he didnt love me anymore… we began being intimate a month ago and as of that time, our sex life only lasted less than a month, could it be that he only wanted me for the sex? how can i figure out the reason if he wont give it to me? i was shocked as well as everyone else was, we never had a fight and i would visit him every chance that i had, so my guess is because i was too clingy, i want him back but i dont want him to take me for granted, and i want him to love me again like he had promised me so many times, at this point my emotions are physcotic and i want to call him and demand an explanation for leaving me, but i remain silent. what would the next step be?
Me and my boyfriend had been together 4 4months,the thing is that we stay in different countries we had this thing that disturbed our relationship were he is accusing me of cheating but I wasn’t he said guys call me a lot n I don’t tell them 2 back off, so since he travelled back it has Been one problem 2 another teLling how he hate me and he needs space I will beg him and we will come back again but few days ago he told me he needed space 4 now that my love is affecting his life and work that I should move on with my life I still love him and don’t know how 2 apply these rules since we are not close 2 each other and he said he will be back by septemeber help me 2 make this work what do u advice me 2 do thanks
Me and my girl have two kids together she left me because I was too controlling. She left me 3 months ago. She lives with a friend that’s a girl about 100 miles away from me.Before she left I accused her of cheating a lot she was tired of it and left. For two months I bothered her trying to get her back. I’m her first love and her first boyfriend. When we last spoke she said she hates me and wished I was dead. If she didn’t care about me than why is she still responding when I talk to her? I know she still loves me and she knows I still love her. Everytime I’m positive with her she knocks me down yelling, cussing, or threatening to take my kids away forever. She thinks if we get back together I will an ass again. She cries sometimes when we talk over the phone. Do I have a chance of getting her back? And How? We been together for 6 years
Some arguing is normal in a relationship. You may go through phases of fighting due to outside factors, which is also normal. The important thing is how you argue, how you deal with arguments after, how you heal together, and the way you communicate. The best way to avoid a fight getting out of control is to walk out of the room and not escalate the situation.
My ex broke up with me about two weeks ago. He says he was tied of arguing. He was saying another girl a couple times but they are no longer talking. He always text me calls me and wants me to hang out with him or stay the night at my place. He text me when I’m at work with xoxo and always says he loves me and is more affectionate toward me now then when we were together. But he still says he dosn’t want a girlfriend right now I’m confused.

I tried everything imaginable to recover my relationship with my ex. He has a substance problem which I was unaware of for a long time. When I finally discovered it I was naive enough to think his promises of trying to quit would work. The worst part was his interfering guy “friends” who did not want me to break up the party. He is middle aged and so am I. I tried to be tolerant as we had many great times and we compatible in many ways. I do believe this man loved me and I thought we might get married (neither of us had ever been married).
You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.
You have the attraction back by this point already from the previous steps, so most of what you need to do now is just get out of your own way, and let the getting-back-together process happen on its own. In other words, you need to know what mistakes to AVOID, to prevent yourself from sabotaging the getting-back-together process, which is supposed to happen fairly naturally after the first 7 steps.
I believe it was James Carville, Bill Clinton's political adviser, who said, "If you say three things, you've said nothing at all." Well, I've said more than three things here, but then, I'm not giving a political speech. And you are not going to find the answer to saving your marriage in a single idea. What you have in front of you, though, are the first steps in getting to a happy marriage.
This was 4 mouths ago. Then we saw us again had dinner, he was absolutly crazy about me but he was also pretty clear saying that he loving is new life and wants to stay single for some years.lol So when we were in the car i convince him to do it one last time. He was all ” thats not correct we still have feelings and i know what i want” we did it and it was more incredible. After that he writes me saying im amazing and he wants to do it again..
Hello,My name is cherry from New Zealand,wellington,i am very happy at last i am married with kids to the one i loved so much,my ex-lover now[husband],who left me for two years,Thanks to Dr Maxi for helping me cast the spell that brings back my ex-lover now [husband],I am grateful to you Dr Maxi for always been there for me when i needed him most,You two can also be helped by my Doctor his email is maxispelltemple@yahoo.com
Me & My boyfriend just recently broke up and I am always crying and feeling really hurt I didn’t wanna brake up with him but we got into a arguement over a convo I over heard or may of only heard parts of but I got angry and so did he , at first he said he was gone come back home but we weren’t gone be together . Then he changed his mind I guess texting saying he still wants me and the kids in his life but never ever wants to be with me again . everything was fine we where working through some things before this night , I feel his friends and family may have a part in our splitting cause every time he got around them things would start to change . He’s sent a lot of mean texts to me that don’t sound like him but I can’t be sure if they are or aren’t . My kids and Myself miss him a lot and I just don’t know what to do anymore i feel if I never came out of my room after that convo I over heard things would be fine still …
Your main goal in this section is to just open up communication. Remember though, you want to be in control at all times. That means that YOU have to be the one to end the conversation. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at.
i want my ex back but right now to forget him i have a boy.And after he left me i had relationships with many.i feel lost. i just want him back to me.But now when i message him he just don’t care.but i see him sometimes looking at me.i am lost. Please help me.Hes ignoring me. I said him that i wanna tell him something important and i wanna meet him but he said cant meet just message if not go.is it right if i meet up him and tell him that i wanna him back and i will make my mistake forget the past and well be happy again pleas help me please.
When negative things happen, avoid being critical or contemptuous. Don’t say things that begin with “You never…,” “You always…,” or (my favorite) “You’re such a…” Calmly explain why you see the situation, not the spouse, as negative, and why it upsets you. In the ensuing conversation don’t get defensive, but don’t refuse to talk, either. Inject a little positivity into the conversation or argument. For example, try a little humor to lighten up the situation a bit, if you think your spouse would be receptive. If the humor backfires, simply be honest and explain that you want to diffuse the tension and you really don’t want to fight.
I’m in the process of a divorce but have been seeing a guy for about two months, me and my husband are still in the same house while waiting for it to sell and I’m getting verbal abuse constantly, he wound me up saying my new guy had been bragging about me with his friend, I freaked out and had a go at my new guy and he doesn’t even know my husband so it wouldn’t have been true but with all the mental abuse I get I flipped out and questioned my new guy. He got tremendously hurt by this as he’s had a messy divorce in the past and was accused of alot of things that weren’t true, he said he can’t go through all that sort of stuff again and said I need to get away from my husband and clear my head of all the hate I’m feeling at the moment, he said he’s sorry but he doesn’t want us to carry on because of this. I’m heartbroken, we’ve only been together a very short while but for the first time in years I’d found some one who made me feel special, I’m devastated and I don’t know what to do, is there anything I can do to try and get him back or have I totally destroyed everything? I had messaged him a few times but only got negative responses 😢 thanks Nicky x
Find out each other's love languages. Everyone experiences love differently. Gary Chapman breaks this idea down into the five ways people experience love or the five love languages. If you've never taken the time to figure out each other's love languages, now is the time to do it. You can take quizzes online to figure out what your love language is.[26]
Let the disloyal, bro hoe users drain him dry if that’s what he’s after. But, as long as he has to wonder what you’re up to and why you’re being so avoidant, his curiosity will kick in and the challenge is there. If he thinks there’s a chance of other guys hanging around his front porch, you’re going to see him do a 180 in the attitude department. How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

My first ever boyfriend of 4 years plus broke up with me by saying “let’s just be friends”, “I don’t see a future with you anymore, I’ve tried but I just can’t.”, “You’ve to understand that it’s not you, it’s me. Even if you change, I’ll still be the same and eventually the same problem will unfold and we’ll quarrel again”. I’ve sent him threads of messages saying I’ll change and will be able to overlook issues and gradually hope that things will change for the better, but he seems to have made up his mind and wanna end this relationship with me.
The first thing that you need to do is simple, stop talking to them. You need to drop communication completely. You absolutely need to stop this overall. Many people feel the need to text them back, call them back, or just try to be in their sight. Don’t do that. You have to cut everything out. Walk away, stop talking, stop texting, and walk away from social media. When you talk to them after the break up, you’re going to end up causing them to think that you’re not quite as good as she once thought. You don’t want her to justify the reason why she walked away.
I really enjoyed this article. It made me feel better about my situation perhaps hopeful. My boyfriend I started dating over 4 1/2 years ago and he broke up with me six months ago. Since then we’ve seen each other quite a few times. But it’s been difficult . Shortly after breakinh up it came up in conversation that he was no longer in love with me. Of course I was shocked because I couldn’t understand how someone could fall out of love so quickly. Since then we’ve met on several occasions. we don’t argue anymore and things are generally amicable between us.

We women tend to think that giving and giving to a man will bring him closer. And this includes doing things like checking up on him to see how he’s doing. It’s what I call “overfunctioning.” Don’t do it! A man is accustomed to valuing what he has to work for, so if you put in effort and make it easy for him, he will actually value you less. We work hard because we think that if we don’t he’ll assume we don’t care enough about him, and he’ll go away. But this is simply untrue. If you lean back and let go of the reigns, you give your boyfriend the chance to see what it feels like to be without you, and if he’s worth it you will get your boyfriend back. Remember this: men commit to you not because they want to be with a woman, but because they can’t stand to be WITHOUT you. Let him feel what it’s like NOT to have you in his life.

am from canada, would want to tell you all that i was able to put an end to my divorce issue and restore my marriage again, because i never wanted it to happen. i don’t know what came over my husband that he was filling for divorce, i tried to talk him out of it when he told me and he didn’t listen to me, i had no other option than to seek for the help of a spell caster and now am glad i did. Because if not for the help of spell, i don’t know what would have become of me by now because i loved my husband so much that i couldn’t stand loosing him. The spell worked like magic with the way and manner my husband change and started showing love instead of the divorce he was planning. i just too happy that everything is in place for me now. I would gladly recommend the use of spell to any one going through marriage problems and want to put an end to it. [gbojiespiritualtemple@ gmail. com , gbojiespiritualtemple@ yahoo. com or whatsapp : +2349066410185 was were i got the help to restore my marriage]


I was really broken up since this is my first relationship(I’m not the most popular girl) and I just kept on texting him and trying to see him to patch things up, one time we were talking just about other things and it seemed to be ok, but just today I tried to see him after we got into another argument to try to hopefully patch things up but he just got pissed and called me a staker(we live in the same town and his house is only a few min away)
Me and my boyfriend had been together 4 4months,the thing is that we stay in different countries we had this thing that disturbed our relationship were he is accusing me of cheating but I wasn’t he said guys call me a lot n I don’t tell them 2 back off, so since he travelled back it has Been one problem 2 another teLling how he hate me and he needs space I will beg him and we will come back again but few days ago he told me he needed space 4 now that my love is affecting his life and work that I should move on with my life I still love him and don’t know how 2 apply these rules since we are not close 2 each other and he said he will be back by septemeber help me 2 make this work what do u advice me 2 do thanks
When I started dating my boyfriend we both fell hard and fast, I quickly learned that he was very insecure and could not be alone. He was drinking a lot and one day he would be the best person I could ever ask for and the next he would say horrible things to tear away at my self esteem. I started looking for job opportunities to move close to him, when that finally worked out I learned that he had been seeing someone else behind my back. I have tried to move on and date others but each time they want to get close I just couldn’t, I would feel as though I am cheating and then realize that I really don’t want someone else in my life, if he finds out that someone has an interest in me he makes accusations of me moving on and not caring about him. He will text me during the day when I know that the other guy is at work but as soon as it is the end of the work day he will no longer reply. It’s like he wants to live his life with someone else but also make certain that I am still there and committed to him. He will make accusations that he knows I’m seeing someone else or that I’m sleeping around when I’m not, I don’t know if that’s him just trying to feel good about the choices he has made to do just that. I can’t let go of the many words of encouragement that he has given me even with all of the hurtful ones he has made. It’s so hard to just quit loving someone that I have loved more than anyone. I’m reaching out trying to make friends in my new home but I can’t stop thinking about him all day every day. I wish I knew how to get him to feel what he felt when we first met, to see how I have always been there and committed to him. Whenever he needs help I am always there and I feel if I say no then he would have no need to stay connected with me and I just don’t want to lose him.

Here’s my story, I would love to hear your insight and advice. I was with my bf , he’s 23, I’m 19, for a few months and I fell in love for the first time. After all the guys I’ve dated I’ve never ever felt this way with someone and the feelings were mutual, he told me loved me, wanted to marry me and have a family with me one day, he too said he has never felt this way before with anyone . It was genuine and loving and I saw a future with this guy which I’ve never seen with anyone and he the same. We spent a lot of time together, got to know each other, but he was insecure at times, worried about other guys which he didn’t have to do. At moments he pulled away, which I know guys do sometime, but the problem for me was they he would blow me off for his friends when we had plans, he just wouldn’t think and was in the moment. I told him on several occasions, it wasn’t cool, we’re together and you just can’t ditch me, he’d apologize, say he was wrong, etc. tbh, I felt like he was testing me, to see how much I’d put up with, but after speaking with him several times, he did it again. So after a week of him trying to see me, ( I put him off) I broke up with him, on the phone, I know I shouldn’t have done it that way, it was impulsive and stupid, but I was fed up. I felt like he was taking me for granted and I wasn’t going to put up with it. I have it together, I’m going to school full time, working full time, im smart, fun, good looking & athletic, I’m not trying to be arrogant and sound full of myself, it’s not my intent, but I’m secure and confident and I know my worth. In hind sight, I should’ve talked to him in person, I was wrong to do it that way. I’m not going to lie, it’s been hard, I do care about him and miss him but we had no contact for 4 weeks, until I saw him at work one day, I was surprised to see him as we wouldn’t normally run into each other. He came right up to me and hugged me, he was so warm affectionate, I couldn’t believe it, he wouldn’t leave my side, hugged me from behind, any excuse to touch me or talk to me. We did talk for a bit, he apologized again to me for treating me the way he did, and was def remorseful. I apologized too for breaking up with him the way I did, and said I was wrong to do that to you. And that I didn’t break up because I didn’t love him or have feelings for him but because I felt he didn’t respect my time or value me. He also asked me if I was dating and was bold enough to asked if I hooked up with anyone,(which I have not) he was annoyed thinking about it. I told him I did not, and that I cared about him. I prob made a mistake saying that, even if it was true, it gave him peace of mind I def don’t have. I am asked out and dating but didn’t tell him, another mistake . He said he wanted to get together and talk more, but couldn’t after work because he had a meeting.that evening. So we went our separate ways. I texted him a few days later saying it was good to see him and let’s get together soon, we texted back and forth a bit, but never went anywhere . So that’s a little over 2 weeks ago, and I have not texted him, not looked at social media, nothing, fell off the earth. I felt he was avoiding me or not sure, I just don’t know. I felt he still cares about me based on when I saw him, but he’s not tried to see me. I heard he’s dating someone too. As much as it hurts and I still care about him, I care about myself more and won’t put up with not being treated right. In the mean time, I’m living my life, focusing on myself, school, work, friends & family. I’m also continuing to date. I would love your help and opinion on what to do, I would love to work things out but we are at a stand still. Thank you 🙂
The point isn't just that you get your ex back, but that you KEEP him. Often folks just have sex again, once or twice, but things don't work out and they end up breaking up again. So don't take anything for granted. Make sure he has the best night of his life when you make up, but after that don't drop into your “old” relationship with your ex, instead – create something new.
My vibe was affected by stress of school and radiated out into other areas of my life without my realizing…granted my ex never communicated how I was making him feel, but the breakup made me realize what had happened and how i can get those stress levels down and vibe up…I am prepared it is too late…he will never be able to share those vibes. But if he doesn’t hes also missing out because I feel good, a little sad it didn’t work out, but good overall.
This is a great article. Thank you. It made me feel a lot better. I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago, we have been together 2 years and we had lovely time, we were so nice to each other and he was really loves me ,respect me so much also we were planning to get marry, but the think is he didnt have job and house beacuse he used live hotel and he was waiting house and he didnt get and he still waiting,than one day we had lunch together and good time than he said ido not want relastionship any more which he taxt me and i asked him why and he said need to be single,and he said i am not leaving beacuse anather girl i just want be single that is all i want he said. i let him go, but we atill friend and contact each other. i still love him so much beacuse it is hard to forget someome who loves you give so my much respect while we were together,
Recall those early days of your relationship when your partner could not get enough of you. He or she would call constantly, stay on the phone for hours, talk with you all night. Now time has passed, and you no longer get butterflies in your tummy when you think of your sweetheart. The spark is gone. You still have romantic feelings for him or her, but you sense that your partner no longer cares as much about the relationship — or at least not as much as you do. You no longer have the upper hand.
If you’ve been answering yes to lots of the questions above, then it’s likely that you’ll answer yes to this one too. Why? Because believing that your girlfriend is the most suitable partner you could realistically get, creates a scarcity mindset around attractive women which brings out all the needy, desperate and try-hard (i.e. unattractive) behaviors that we discussed above.
I don’t know if I have done the right thing. I sent my ex an email to say that I didn’t want to leave things on a bad note and that I hope one day he finds that special girl that will make him happy and one that will understand him as he is special and a complex person and that there is only one of him. That in time hopefully we will be able to become friends. Ended with all the best…Have I done the wrong thing as he didn’t answer me and I know he has read the message??
I have known very rocky relationships that have sorted themselves out over time and then lasted, as far as I could tell, forever. Sometimes, these new beginnings started in the judge’s chambers when the divorce was being finalized. Sometimes afterwards. I have recently come across someone who married the same woman three times—although it is hard to believe that they have, at last, come to terms with each other. In these instances, it is often the case that the couple had not ever really made clear to each other just how strongly they felt about certain things. (They would say at this point that they told the other person a hundred times just what they felt; but I have been witness to some of these conversations, and sometimes I am left not quite understanding how strong their feelings were.)

Many online relationship "experts" will tell you to play power games to win back the love in your relationship, or to reignite the spark. Don't do it. If you purposely ignore your partner or intentionally act cold and distant, you are playing a game. And while this sort of behavior may lead to increased attention from a partner for a short while, it will not have a long-lasting effect on your relationship. If you frequently act rude or mean, ignore your partner, or act cold and distant, your partner will eventually lose interest in you.


How long does it take for him to contact you. Me and my Ex of four ex broke up three weeks ago bc of constant fighting even though we both admitted we still loved each other and one week after the fight he starts hanging out and dating this troll. i contacted once to be a psycho path and then after I apologized and I told him I was happy for him and I hope he gets to be happy.
You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.
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