Until I got a bit tipsy one night and our conversation turned to him admitting that if he was who he is now, we would have never broke up; and that if we were to get together in person it would be a bad idea since something would happen. I couldnt believe how happy I was to hear that, and the next night we had a totally sober conversation where we arranged to get together purely for sex.

If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says "I'm no longer in love with you"), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other's eyes and then answer personal questions (like "What is your biggest fear?" and "What is your best memory from childhood?"). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex's eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.[12]

while there were exchanges of hurtful words and gestures, he realized that it was about time he moved forward with his life, that what we’ve been doing is wrong and maybe he felt he wanted to start things right with somebody else. he said he’s starting to want to know this girl from the cheer team. though admittedly, he’ still stuck with his admiration, love and connection with me.


This is when I felt like I really met Mary. I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t jealous, and I wasn’t distracted—I had a clear mind, and I loved her. She was the kind of girl I’d always call back, and always take out for dates, and always hold hands with. She’s the kind of girl I never want to be away from. I’d seen what life looked like without Mary (cue damp Jimmy Stewart shouting “Mahhhhrrrrrryyyyy, don’t you remember me Mary?” in It’s a Wonderful Life), and I had a new appreciation for her. I loved the person she had turned into: She had built a life for herself in New York and was the person I know she always wanted to be—she grew her bangs out, too, which I guess is a big thing for women? 

By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.


Ok, the first tactic is from my own experience. I don’t have any research to back it up but I feel it will work because it worked on me. One thing that always made me a bit jealous (even though I never voice it) was when a girl I felt really strongly about has a bunch of pictures with a bunch of different guys on her Facebook profile. I know that sounds ridiculous but it legitimately made me like “Damn, that guy got to be in her presence.” Here is the key though, if I felt strongly about a girl (who was single) and I saw a bunch of pictures of her getting totally drunk and making out with a bunch of guys I will no longer feel strongly about her. In fact, I might lose interest entirely. So, I would say that your best bet would be to post innocent pictures with other guys. The key is to be really subtle about it but trust me if your man has a Facebook I promise you he will check your profile from time to time.
The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.
Do not post negativity on social platforms. Firstly, your social media friends will see it as a big negative and any chances of gaining a new partner are gone but mainly when negativity is posted, it only brings a negative response or anger which may ruin any chances of ever having your ex back again. Another reason I personally do not encourage negative posts is it shows desperation and we don’t want this type of image or attention pointed towards us.
I have a problem likes it… My boyfriend and I were together for 1 year and half. in fact from 6 months age our relationship became so complicated and it was my fault! last week he told me that he wants to be just friend…since next week he gonna go to another country, where he studies, and he won’t come back till 3 months I’m really confused about what should I do! :| So if you find any efficient way…tell me plZ!
Whatever you do may cause a suspicious reaction. Don’t get angry or upset. In fact, if you expect a bad reaction, you’ll be better prepared to handle it. You may even find it humorous that you predicted a bad reaction. But don’t be derisive if you mention that. Soothe your spouse’s suspicion or bad reaction with kind words and honesty. Just say that you are trying to improve your relationship with him/her. You may want to avoid using the word “change.” Some people might take it as an attack on their character.
WOW I don’t “KNOW” you…But I really like you! ?You are HILARIOUS and REAL and it’s clear that you’ve truly been “there” before by the things that you say. It’s like your taking these feelings and thoughts straight from MY mind and typing them out. I LOVE what you stand for (and what you don’t stand for). Well my question is in the last paragraph from what’s above, when you say something like : after getting your ex back he will eventually SHOW you (if we took your advice about showing we’re not putting up with the bs) that the break-up was a good thing.- Are you saying you feel they’ll still be the same way they were BEFORE the breakup (a f*cktard?) or they will possibly have changed for the better due to us setting those “what’s not acceptable” boundaries? And do you always feel that they would ONLY want you back due to a wanting to be in control thing not ever because they actually love you? Just wondering
In my career, many girls keep on mentioning either one of above issues to explain the reason for their breakup. It is very important to keep in mind that your relationship doesn’t come to an end just because you said certain words or did something that lead to breakup. If your relationship with your ex boyfriend was base on solid foundation then few words or actions can’t come over the long work you did before.
Focus on patterns. Rather than blaming each other, consider how patterns from each of you has led to problems. For instance, maybe you consistently forget to call home when you're going to be late, and your partner then gets upset when you don't show up. Consequently, you punish him or her the next time by not calling home, which is a cyclical pattern. When you bring it up, focus on how to solve the problem, such as "I will try to be better about calling home, if maybe you can forgive me the few times that I forget. Or maybe you can send me a text near the end of the day, so I will be more aware of what time it is."[10]
You have the attraction back by this point already from the previous steps, so most of what you need to do now is just get out of your own way, and let the getting-back-together process happen on its own. In other words, you need to know what mistakes to AVOID, to prevent yourself from sabotaging the getting-back-together process, which is supposed to happen fairly naturally after the first 7 steps.
After the breakup I did the whole crazy ex girlfriend thing then just stopped talking to him completely for 3months. We started talking again when we both turned up at our club unexpectantly and I apologised and asked him to hang out. But, I didnt feel like he was hearing me so I full on lost it a few times. And now we are back to not talking for a month now but we still see each other around at our club. I’d also made the mistake of telling him that I wanted to start the relationship from scratch and he baulked at that.
Saving a marriage is a team effort, but there are things you can do on your own. Klare Heston, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, says, “Trying to save your marriage alone is an uphill battle, but you can certainly start the process by yourself. Improve your communication, curtail your defensiveness, and identify what you contribute to your marital problems. Consider seeing a therapist if you are too overwhelmed.”
Me and my boyfriend broke up because I found out he was talking (flirting) with other girls. He refused to stop talking to them once i found out and his guilty reaction towards me was so nasty and defensive. He then informed me that it’s because he wasn’t ready for a committed relationship and was still scarred from the messy break up with his ex. We were together for about 4 months and overall our relationship was amazing, we had an amazing connection and yes there were little arguments (like normal couples) but overall nothing ever serious. The whole talking to other girls thing was a shock because of this but I guess his reasoning was understandable (even though it’s still so wrong what he did). Once we broke up we argued pretty badly for a couple of weeks but then we eventually met up and decided to stop arguing and he apologised in person for his wrong doings and from then we decided to try and remain friends. He told me that overall I am the perfect woman for him but his head just wasn’t ready for a relationship and had we met later down the line then I would be the type of person he would want to settle down with. It’s been a few months since the break up and the last time we spoke was about 2 months ago. Do you think I should initiate these steps to get him back, or should I just still leave him alone?
My ex-boyfriend and I just broke up 2 weeks ago. I love him and his little boys so much and i feel heartbroken. We had 8 mounths relationship in witch we lived together…he and I we are another country but had sometime lived with, I think he loves me, despite when he left me he said he like me but he doesn’t love me the same way i do. Is it possible to tell me all this just to make me go away, or to protect me, or I really dunno…
It goes without saying that not all wishes should be granted — for example, if your partner wishes to have a threesome, and you absolutely do not. But not granting your partner's wishes does not imply disrespecting him or her for having particular desires. Respect is the single most important factor in a relationship. If you lose respect for your partner, or they lose respect for you, your relationship can be irreparably damaged. To show respect for your partner, stop focusing on the negative in your relationship and comment on the positive aspects. Be generous with compliments and caring behavior. And to regain respect, if you think you lost it, learn to set boundaries.
I am that ex girlfriend who broke up with a controlling man. He started stalking and harrassing me, and would harrass any guy I dated.I told him never to speak to me again, but he still tried to get me back, was watching and following me in person and on line ,so I called the police and filed a report, and later filed a no contact order. Turns out he had a warrant in CA for stalking another lady.I have to say to any guy…be careful of overstepping boundaries. You may push her limits till she is afraid of you or hates the very thought of you.If you are a good man, she will miss you and call you.

I have one for you guys! I started dating this girl that in my mind is the perfect one! I mean I couldnt possibly build a better woman. Well after 4 years of dating we broke up because she was tired of my habbits.!? Well we have been broken up now for three years and she still calls and texts every day. When I go to her house for the night she sleeps in her bed alone. She helps me in any way I need. (Bails me outta jail, pays my phone bill, buys me sweet gifts, ect.)
I have further guidelines for meeting up with your ex, but which ones you’re going to need to use will depend on your specific breakup circumstances. No doubt your situation is unique, so if you can go ahead and take my chances of getting your ex back quiz, your quiz results will then point you in the right direction from there. Click here to take the quiz now!
My ex and me were together for a lil over 4 months, last july we went to california and stayed with his family, after we got back he started acting distant, then he started hanging out with a girl, and kept sneaking off to go hangout with her, i asked him if he wanted us to workout, he said he didnt know what he wanted and he wanted to do his own thang, so i got upset and had a friend tell him i was seeing someone else, he got mad yelled at me and asked me who i kissed, who im dating, and who im cheating on him with, i wasn’t and there was no other guy, i loved him, i just wanted him to come back, well she broke up with him, then he came back to me and asked if we could work it out, i said yes, the next day he was back with her, so when he tried talking to me i was soo upset that i told him to just go be with her and to leave me alone, seeing them together everyday was killing me slowly i couldn’t eat or sleep or focus on my classes for my CNA, he ended up moving away with her Dec. 14, 2012, i was so sad after he left, i started pushing myself harder to get my CNA done, and on March 14, 2013 i passed, Im now a CNA which im very happy about, right now im working on getting a job and a place to live, he lives in Des Moines, i was thinking about moving there, but im heading back to sioux city, only because i dont know anybody in Des Moines, and i have friends and family in sioux city, I still miss him, I still love him, he wrote a friend of mine over facebook and he told her he still has feelings for me, i just wish that he would forget the past and we could start new, ya we had our ups and downs but what couple don’t, i wish that there was someone who could help me get him back i love him.
Keep in mind, once you get a chance to get back together with your ex boyfriend, you have already learned how to get your ex back and let go all bitter feelings you suffered in the past. Never lose hope to get the one you love most, even if your ex is in a relationship with someone else, just hand on! But, this doesn’t mean you have to disappear from your ex’s life completely.
I have one for you guys! I started dating this girl that in my mind is the perfect one! I mean I couldnt possibly build a better woman. Well after 4 years of dating we broke up because she was tired of my habbits.!? Well we have been broken up now for three years and she still calls and texts every day. When I go to her house for the night she sleeps in her bed alone. She helps me in any way I need. (Bails me outta jail, pays my phone bill, buys me sweet gifts, ect.)
To begin the process, I recommend that you have what I call the Perfection Conversation with her. Essentially, you need to acknowledge to her that you are not perfect (in terms of how you’ve been behaving and treating her), but for the sake of your love, you are willing to continually make a serious effort to become a better man for her. In the same conversation, you also need to get her to acknowledge and realize that she is not perfect either.
So, my ex boyfriend had a friend who killed himself just about 3 weeks ago. It hit my boyfriend really hard and he started to change. He got quieter and quieter and soon wasn’t even the person I had been dating for a year. I finally asked him if he even wanted to be with me, and he replied “Its not that I don’t want to be with you, I just feel empty”. He ended the relationship saying he needs to figure out how to fix himself and fill the hole he has inside him, but he wants to do that alone. I really do not know what to do at this point. He messaged me twice. Once was asking how I was doing, and the other was him telling me I was welcome to see the cats if i ever wanted to (we owned cats together) so I guess I want to know if this advise you have given in this article is going to work. Because I honestly think he is really confused and doesn’t know what he feels. I would appreciate any advise!
The course includes the most important information that I have made easy to comprehend. Not many people like to read 300-page books that only have 30-40 pages of useful information. I made sure that my material is easy to read and is not too long. My methods are presented in a step-by-step action plan that doesn’t include any unnecessary information. I offer you only the information that can be useful to you and that has proven to work.
He ended things.. This is a guy who comes back to me and has my number for 5 years. And we were so intimate and shared our past. He said didn’t want to play games this time. He came 4 hrs back and forth to spend time with me. Pursues me. Why? What does he want? Why travel in total 8 hrs to come have sex with me? He like a egotistical narcissistic unemotional prick. Please advice.. Btw I never responded to his message. I left things.
Recently found your blog after going through some weird “fwb to dating to him getting himself a gf” kinda situation for over a year now. Even tho I loved him I now realize I love myself more and I won’t put myself in this situation again. Thank you for putting things in a different perspective for me. It’s helped me out greatly and I’ve been more focused on myself now. Thank you!
My best friend of 3 years and partner of 2 broke up with me 6 months ago now. I love him with all my heart and had grown to see him in my future (house, his cat, maybe kids, the whole shebang) so I was absolutely devastated when he told me. We’d had problems before but it seemed like had figured them out. We hardly ever fought and when we did we found a solution pretty quickly.
Through marital or couple therapy, the counsellor can help the couple increase effective communication skills, assist in looking at each other’s perspective, discuss what makes a relationship work and what a healthy relationship looks like, help identify specific problems and dynamics of the relationship, understand gridlocked conflicts, and help establish interventions and strategies that will help strengthen conflict management skills.

Hi, I’m Les. My gf mentioned to break up due to another man and no more feeling with me, I’ve stopped this action taken as I can’t take it! We’ve been together around 5yrs. We never stay together. I was leaving the state around half year and she had ask me to stay but, I insist to leave due to good opportunity. I came back finally and she told me this. I nearly gone crazy as our relationship was quite stable. Never think this will happen. She keep saying no more feeling with girl, what can I do to get her back again coz I too love her. I’ve tried to make her think back how hard we start together and so on. I even pay more attention to her, Concentrate on her. Just feel like fall in love again. Feel like I can’t live without her now. I wanna die if breakup. Please help. PM me if possible. Thanks in advanced.
I get it and I’ve been there. You miss him, you miss all of his quirks and jokes and the way that he made you feel. You miss the way that YOU felt and the girl that you were when you were with him when the relationship was good. You make an excuse for and justify everything that he did that was wrong, disrespectful and hurtful because you feel like it was you that provoked it and made him act out. You just want him back, no matter what. how to get your ex boyfriend back
And you don’t need a man in your life to learn how to do this. Instead, practice “framing your feelings” with everyone you meet and even on your own. Start right now by asking yourself what you feel. Then say it out loud. Say, “I feel shaky,” or “I feel sad,” or “I feel happy just looking at that flower over there.” Practice this everywhere you go, and it will become natural to you in days. Then when you talk to the man you love, use this new way of expressing your feelings. You’ll notice a miraculous change in the way he connects to you and opens his heart.

I dont know what to write to him! NC is almost over and he has no social media so he has no idea what I’ve been doing. He also hasn’t contacted me which is okay. I’ve jotted down tons of ideas for my first email to him but I’m very scared. Hes always suspicious of people so I dont want to sound too needy or like I’m trying to use him. He might think if I’m messaging him a month later that I want to use him…hes stubborn as hell as well.
Ok, the first tactic is from my own experience. I don’t have any research to back it up but I feel it will work because it worked on me. One thing that always made me a bit jealous (even though I never voice it) was when a girl I felt really strongly about has a bunch of pictures with a bunch of different guys on her Facebook profile. I know that sounds ridiculous but it legitimately made me like “Damn, that guy got to be in her presence.” Here is the key though, if I felt strongly about a girl (who was single) and I saw a bunch of pictures of her getting totally drunk and making out with a bunch of guys I will no longer feel strongly about her. In fact, I might lose interest entirely. So, I would say that your best bet would be to post innocent pictures with other guys. The key is to be really subtle about it but trust me if your man has a Facebook I promise you he will check your profile from time to time.
So if you have worked hard to bring your ex boyfriend back into the picture and progress is being made on multiple communication fronts, then take an opportunity and drop him a little not.  Nothing over the top.  Nothing about making a relationship commitment. You don’t want to spook your ex bf. We will talk about that in another post.  Just something that cements you enjoyed yourself.  Keep it light!
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.
He ended things.. This is a guy who comes back to me and has my number for 5 years. And we were so intimate and shared our past. He said didn’t want to play games this time. He came 4 hrs back and forth to spend time with me. Pursues me. Why? What does he want? Why travel in total 8 hrs to come have sex with me? He like a egotistical narcissistic unemotional prick. Please advice.. Btw I never responded to his message. I left things.
×