Trying to work through marital problems can be a daunting process, and you might not even know where to start. Every marriage is unique, so figure out the specific issues at the heart of your conflict. In order to find solutions, you and your spouse will need to communicate openly and constructively. Try to stay positive, and avoid blaming, stonewalling, and launching personal attacks at each other. Rebuilding your bond will take time, so have patience. A marriage counselor can help mend the gap, so don't feel embarrassed about reaching out to a professional.
Alright, so the biggest thing I want you to focus on for the no contact period is the fact that you are using this month to become the best version of yourself that you have ever been. There is a 100% chance, especially if you are ignoring him, that your ex is going to check up on you during this period and instead of sulking around feeling sorry for yourself he is going to see a strong, sexy, fun-having woman!
I was with my ex for almost 8 years… it’s always been an on and off kindof thing because we were young and dumb in the beginning and then we would argue over parenting, money, the usual stuff. So anyways a year ago I moved out and the kids and I went to live with my grandma. We got back together… things were going really good actually until my grandmother got diagnosed with stage four lung cancer in May and then it was like I was put into over load with stopping working, taking care of her full time, the fact of now my gma has this disease and probably isn’t going to live and taking care of 3 dogs at the time because my brother had his here (thankfully not anymore lol) and 2 kids. My grandma raised me and so shes like a gma/mom/best friend. If I was going to Walmart my gma was going with me.. we are that close. So anyways though when all that was going on I kindof pushed him away by shutting everything out. I couldn’t cry over my gma, I didn’t want to be touched, nothing… So needless to say we separated in July after the fact I completely ruined his birthday because I did it on that day… I was yes, a complete ass. We’ve both made our mistakes and what not BUT….now he says hes “talking” to another girl that he’s interested in. but he’s confusing me because he says he has feelings for her but then he turned around and was talking about how things could always change and he want to be with me. but that he’s scared the same things are going to happen again….
Use that time to really understand what happened. Dating coach, Lisa Shield, adds: "There's a lot of fear when we try to put ourselves out there after having our hearts broken. Many of us don't have a good enough understanding of what we did wrong in the past. So, how are we going to prevent it from happening again? If you can, talk to a dating coach or relationship expert who can guide you to that understanding. Because, if you don't make sense of the past, it's going to be really hard to move forward."
So my situation is a bit complicated. I was in this relationship for 3 years and 7 months. I broke up with him 8 months ago because I just couldn’t do it anymore. We were both hurting each other. After the break up we were always contacting each other. We tried to get back together multiple times, we talked about our new relationships and he seems to love the new girl. I spent a week at his house and I got pregnant. Now I’m four months pregnant and he knows because I told him. It’s now been about 9 months since the break up and I’m trying to get back with him. Lately we talk alot mostly about the baby and me trying to get him back. But he has no trust in me and says he can’t trust me ever again. What do you think?
Does this still work if he completely moved on?? Also he told me he will never get back wirhb me because once he dates someone and they broke up he “forever sees them as annoying even if you haven’t done anything to annoy him even if you are just casually talking he will sometimes get irritated in his head and think “ugh it’s this girl yet 2 months ago when I actually did stop talking to him for a few weeks he messaged me asking if I was ok cuz he hasn’t heard from me and jokingly assumed I had a bf and stoped talking to him he also said I didn’t have to stop talking to him I’m his “buddy” I always feel if what I do will actually work because he’s moved on eating other girls told me it wouldn’t bother him if I was with someone and I’ve messed up with the begging and acting like I know what he needs and I can give it to him we’ve had some pretty nasty fights cuz of it to the point where when I thought I was pregnant he said he was taking the baby from me because I’m crazy does this work on a guy who knows how to not feel feelings except anger btw he didn’t love me yet he only really liked me I loved him and tried to rush things

Don't try to save a relationship that's toxic or abusive. There's really no way to work on a relationship that's based on toxic patterns or abuse. No amount of working on communication techniques or trying to reignite the romance is going to make things better long-term. You may feel that you're getting something out of the relationship, but you have a lot more to gain by being free.


Similar situation, Charlotte. I’ve been going through some rough anxiety and depression and have been moody a lot and he decided it is not right for him. We had planned a life together. We were so sure we were meant for each other. I am trying so hard to get back to myself with a change of medication. It’s difficult because we do work together. I’m devastated and lost.
I know I posted something similar to this but I would like more advice from everyone. Would appreciate it. So you see,my ex boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago after being with him for 16 months. Im 23 and he’s 26. He said he has thought it through and wants to be friends. I am so heartbroken that it has been so difficult for me to do school work and everything else. He’s someone I truly love and I thought we had something special. He was someone who I thought I was going to marry someday. He told me he loved me and would never leave me, well I guess I got fooled on that one. We did talk about our future about getting married and what not and so I need help in showing him what he’s missing and see how lucky of a wonderful woman he had in his life. So I need help in getting him back permanently.To also add that he told me that he can’t imagine his life without me and it would be weird if I wasn’t in his life anymore so I don’t know if that means something or not.
Remember that she has a reason for leaving you. In her mind, those reasons are valid no matter how stupid they may seem on the surface to you or anyone else. If you start groveling at her feet begging for another chance, she’ll feel like her reasons for leaving were correct and that she made the right choice. The last thing you want to do is give her the impression that she really can do better.
You sound like you have Borderline Personality Disorder…..how do I know this? Because I have it too. Unless you are just really young and this is your very first relationship and you haven’t a clue how to act. Seriously though, look up BPD and see if you have any of the other symptoms….and if you do, go get diagnosed and get some therapy and meds…..it helps !
My ex girlfriend dumped me last night. She said that I treated her better than anyone ever had before, and when I asked why she was breaking up with me she said it was because I treated her more like a friend then a girlfriend. I was okay with it and trying to start to move on but then she texted me and said “I hope that this break up wont be a permanent thing and that I hope someday soon we can get back together”I have no clue what to do but I would like to get back togethersince she was the only girl I actually readily liked when i came across Dr kate she help me cast a return spell and my girl came back the third day thank you Dr kate you can also reach her email on (katelovespell@hotmail.com)

My boyfriend just broke up with me yesterday and trying to start my NC but he doesn’t stop snapchatting me. He did say that he wants to be friends and keep in touch with me. He broke up with me because he has too much going on and need to focus on himself. (at least that’s what he said) I don’t know what to do…. and we were in long distance relationship.


It will take some practice to get to that stage (where you’re behaving attractively around her on autopilot), so improving your body language is something you should get started on right away, as soon as you begin the No Contact Period (Step 3 as above). That way, when you do go to meet with her after no contact, she’ll ‘just feel’ that you have a sexier and more attractive presence.
Ok, the first tactic is from my own experience. I don’t have any research to back it up but I feel it will work because it worked on me. One thing that always made me a bit jealous (even though I never voice it) was when a girl I felt really strongly about has a bunch of pictures with a bunch of different guys on her Facebook profile. I know that sounds ridiculous but it legitimately made me like “Damn, that guy got to be in her presence.” Here is the key though, if I felt strongly about a girl (who was single) and I saw a bunch of pictures of her getting totally drunk and making out with a bunch of guys I will no longer feel strongly about her. In fact, I might lose interest entirely. So, I would say that your best bet would be to post innocent pictures with other guys. The key is to be really subtle about it but trust me if your man has a Facebook I promise you he will check your profile from time to time.

If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
×