The system is designed to change your understanding of marriage , and especially your understanding of the problems. Here’s why: if you just keep thinking about things the way you have, you will only stay where you have been — stuck and going down! Albert Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
Make her jealous (optional). This is an optional move because it depends on the situation. If your relationship ended because she was so jealous that you were always hanging around with other girls, then you shouldn't make her jealous or she'll just be reminded of the reason why things didn't work out between you. But if your relationship ended because she thought you were just too into her, or that she was bored by you, then making her jealous is a great move. Here's how to do it:[2]

Similar situation, Charlotte. I’ve been going through some rough anxiety and depression and have been moody a lot and he decided it is not right for him. We had planned a life together. We were so sure we were meant for each other. I am trying so hard to get back to myself with a change of medication. It’s difficult because we do work together. I’m devastated and lost.
My fiancé left me after 5 half years 3 months ago I got engaged to her on Christmas last year and even decorated my room back in February she moved in with me and my mum 2 years ago after her parents split she had no job for the first 4 years we were together and I supported her she got a new job last July thinking all was good I was got a new job in May and planned to get a place next year we had a house party back in April and met one of my mates well more of a non close friend and found out in July she had cheated on me with him I gave her a second chance but came back a week later and she had left the ring on the side and moved everything and left no note or explanation and when I caught up with her she told me she fell out of love with me and loves him and told me when we were together I told you I liked him the only reason I can think she left me was because I am a gamer and was playing it constantly for the 5 years and sometimes got to involved and lashed out her not hit but shouted and sometimes went to bed really late the thing is though she never told me how she felt I’m 31 and she is 22 so maybe immaturity came into it but all I do is blame myself she has changed her phone number and blocked me from fb and on august put she was in a relationship with him I’m an idiot the way I pushed away the girl of my dreams I’m so sorry I love her and miss her too bits and have no way I can get her back can anyone help me thanks
The woman who was in a similarly awful marriage was the sole support of her husband, who did not work. She also took care of his child by another marriage on weekends, when he was typically not home. He too was regularly unfaithful, occasionally violent, and vulgar, and insulting all the time. He rarely wished for sex, but demanded it when he felt in the mood. He routinely expressed contempt for his wife. She finally left him and entered into psychotherapy. A week later she told me she was thinking of going back to him. “I love him,” she said, by way of explanation. She only stopped considering returning to the marriage a few months later when she met someone else.
I broke up with my gf for an extremely obvious reason – she didn’t love ME. Girls, please. I need true love, not a fakened up “story”. It was my first relationship, and I didn’t get a new girlfriend since then. We didn’t have any sexual contact either. But it was going on for 1.5 years. I loved her, but eventually she killed all my feelings towards her. I was trying to look sexy, to smell amazing, was extremely kind. Was probably the best she could deserve. Yet she didn’t understand it…now I just want to ask dear, dear girls – there are people like me who you never notice that are looking for a serious relationship. Please notice them and pay attention to how you behave with them…especially do you love your bf’s or not. Right now I see what a jerky girl she is, for lying to me and faking up so much stuff just to claim “oh look I have the best bf ever” but never loved me in real. Seriously care for what you do girls, please. I don’t want any more experiences like this bullcrap full of lies. Thanx in advance.
Hi my boyfriend always use to talk with for a couple of days later he will fight and we wont be in contact for 3-6 months after thathe will msg me and he will b normal as before and again he will fight and wont b in contact for 3-6 months this is go on repeating from 3 years i cant understand whether he loves me or hates me but i love him so much just suggest me how to make him mine completely
I went out with my ex girlfriend for 9years an have 3 wonderful kids with her we had our ups an downs the last 2 years were mostly downs an a lot of fighting we really weren’t talking so she broke up with me for about 7-8 months I did the whole crying asking her for that one chance trying to keep my family together she is really my first love I know what I did wrong an I’m trying to change an understand what I’ve done wrong well we both move out of the place we lived together she went back with her mother an I got my own place I still love her but I just found out she started dating just dating an I’ve seen a couple of women but I still have strong feelings for her she won’t talk to me an when she does she gets angry quick she gets jealous when I say I’m with a friend an she turns around an try’s to make me jealous in return why would she do that I just wanna know if I still have a chance what can I do an if I don’t should I just move on please help
The woman who was in a similarly awful marriage was the sole support of her husband, who did not work. She also took care of his child by another marriage on weekends, when he was typically not home. He too was regularly unfaithful, occasionally violent, and vulgar, and insulting all the time. He rarely wished for sex, but demanded it when he felt in the mood. He routinely expressed contempt for his wife. She finally left him and entered into psychotherapy. A week later she told me she was thinking of going back to him. “I love him,” she said, by way of explanation. She only stopped considering returning to the marriage a few months later when she met someone else.
Me an my boyfriend been on and off for months! He’s family was extremely interfering and very nosey! We met 9 months ago and dated for 8 an half months. We had arguements over his family alot. And both out jealousy and insecurity. I know it’s sounds crazy but we agreed to be friends but we still love eachother. An I’m wondering if that’s all we are ever going to be now. I need to cut ties to move on in literally begging him to give me another chance but of course his family have to stick their nose in! But if I got back with him I just ignore them and tolerate them! I’m not bothered about them. I just want my man back. I love him he loves me why can’t they just butt out and stop interfering? Sounds nasty but if I don’t get him back I hope he meets a really horrible girlfriend in the future who treats him like crap. And stops him seeing his friends. For three weeks he messed me round saying we was just seeing eachother an his family hated it. UNTILL his mom shouted in my face on the webcam then he took his moms side an called it off. So now were just friends and not seeing him as almost killed me. I wish now I had of never bothered and stopped on my own!
So now, there’s not a moment that goes by when I don’t think about him and how I want him to come back so I can be better, do better say the things I was too shy to say. I’m not the only person who needs to change, he needs to come back as a new person too. But truth be told, it seemed that we were both stepping out of our comfort zones to be with each other. I wanted him to be more patient and he wanted me to profess my love for him everyday and in the end we both felt like we were being cheated of something and that the other person was being selfish.

"The strongest part of any family is wanting to spend the small day-to-day moments together, like going for ice cream or to the park," says Spencer. She's not saying stay together for the kids, but she is suggesting you think twice before you file the divorce papers, breaking up the family. Spencer says ask yourself the following questions: Do you still enjoy doing things together as a family? Do you find that doing things with the kids but without your husband makes you sad? "If you really enjoy spending time together as a family unit, maybe that unit is worth keeping together."

It was just a mask. Beware, as if you both go back to your old ways of arguing and dealing with problems, you'll get back to where you were – apart.  Don't let that happen. Don't get lazy and don't take things for granted. The first few weeks of being together again as also the first few weeks where he's most likely to “run for his life” and leave you or just decide that you shouldn't have gotten back together in the first place.
The amount of sex that a couple has will generally decrease over time, but if the sexual attraction, respect and love are deepened, the couple will still want to be intimate. Even if sex only happens once a week, the couple still feels good about it and wants to do it. Outside of sex, the couple will enjoy hugging, giving each other a kiss or lovingly looking into one another’s eyes for a second or two.

Studies have shown that 90% of rebound relationships don’t work out in the long run so the odds are probably in your favor. There is no reason to start harassing him or the girl he is dating. Under no circumstances will you contact him. In fact, DO NOT CONTACT HIM OR HER. The further away from the breakup your ex gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. This means he will forget the bad times and remember the good times.
Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
Be calm and confident in yourself and what you think you can contribute to her life. In the time you've taken to improve yourself, hopefully you will have evidence of that change. If the cause of your breakup was that you did not have enough time for her, show that you've altered your work schedule and made time to volunteer or pick up that sailing hobby you've always dreamed about. That will show you're willing to make time for things that matter to you. See where I'm going with this?
Ok, I read this after me my ex and I had been broken up for 7 days and it felt as if I had stumbled across the road to the Golden City!! I’m sure all of these steps will be very successful and I’ve Walready put some of the steps into action as far as forgiveness & becoming a better ME. First let me give a little history on the situation. My ex had been begging me to move in with him, which was aewsome thing but look I’ve done the move in thing 3times already and they all led to a big fat failure. Anywho, I just was so unwilling to do that again ecspecially since the last time left me raising a new baby on my own.. I refused to move both me and 3 yr old in with him & his two young sons without some sort of “security” from him like either marriage or atleast an engagement. Anyway, we had two break- ups one which led to us making up a day or two later. We stayed in touch through txt the whole time and then I decided to go see him. He apolgized for the break-up & so did I. He then Begged me to move in once again . I told him we would work something out. The next day was full of of I love you txts from him and then Outta no where the same day he called and said he does’nt think
I’ m here writing about a boy again even though I ve promised myself I wouldn t. It s a boy from my village, always liked him but seemed so far away and the kind of chasing girls.Until 2 years ago he comes out of sudden where I was siting with my girlfriends and aks “accidentaly” who am i. Days after he reaches me at a cafe and asks if i’d like to meet him tonight. I was going through a difficult period and said to myself to say yes and give more chances without pushing situations and worry. i really thought it was a one time thing . turns out i really liked him and every now and then he texted me to meet. Eventually i invited him home since I was alone. After some days he came without telling me and rings my bell. he does come and check my house without telling me.Sometimes he opens up to me , talked me about his past,that he had a long relantionship that he can t get over. Also told me that with me it s not just sex but love. Even so when I leave from there he rarerly talks to me on fb or like my posts. Sometimes asks when I will come again, but lately he never talks to me or even say hi in public. Last time we met he was asking me things like if i had done something with someone else, if i have brought other guys at home, other time aked what was going on with some guy that was talking to me and things like that, but when i asked if he had done something with someone else he said yes and asked if it did matter. I didn t reply. He didnt talk to me or wished for my birthday.Now that i m here again for summer holidays he saw me my first week here when i was out saturday night and i returned home he showed up minutes after saying “i thought you would return this time”. It was really late,he stayed very little time And when he left said that we will talk again and “goodnight”. He hadhad to say goodnight since the first times we met. But a month passed and so sign of him. And to make matters worse, a girl we hang out with brought another girl here and immediately he talked to her,she gave him herfb,instagram in frond of me while i was trying to ignore him and he was talking to my friend next to me(?), he asked her go for an evening bath at the sea and next day he was out with them for coffee for hours,at the same cafe i was in. And im sure thethey were out together at night too… I m very devastated. He never sawed that kind of interest on me! Never invited me somewhere and he seems to talk to literally every girl but me! I don t know what to do! I m so frustrated i didn t sleep at all all night. I really havent talked to anyone about all this so i cant ask for any help or anything…please help me
I really like the links from the first comment. I think as long as the two people love each other it doesn't matter what they did. unless its cheating. Trust is hard for me to understand. MY bf doesn't trust me and even though he has done things to break my trust in different ways I feel like I know him and can understand he's just a human and we make some mistakes sometimes. I try and change how he wants me to, to be a better person and show him I do care but somehow its not ever enough. I do not know how I can show him I care. He wants a big grand gesture but I do not have money or an idea of what to do. He said something like seeing him at work would make him feel like I care but when I didn't do u it his time limit that I didn't even know about he got mad. I just want to show him he is special but every little thing doesn't mean anything to him anymore. I can say I felt like how he describes because he hurt me and I didn't care about anything but distressing helped me see more clearly and what I needed to. I think that's what's going on with him because he hasn't been able to distress.
Hi. I dated this guy last year , but unfortunately it didn’t work out between us cause I was unreachable and shy. We pretty much texted the whole time and met a few times. I fell for him and he said he had feelings for me too . But all of a sudden he wanted to be just friends. We had 5 months long an emotional relationship/friendship and 5 months a non-emotional one. I kinda acted out there. He started giving me less atttetion day after day and we started fighting every now and then and I got super jealous when he talked about this other girl he liked. Eventually he called the friendship off. I asked him to block my number and social accounts so we wouldn’t have contact . It’s been 4 months now and I miss him everyday. I’m madly in love with him . Haven’t heard of him for 4 months and I want him back. I can’t get over him being gone from my life. Please help. What should I do ? Why am I feeling this way.
He broke up with me first: he said that it was because he felt like we didn’t have a future together, that it felt impossible that i learned the language ( which i was doing), that I was asking for too much of his time, that he didn’t feel like he could do all the things he wanted with his friends. but I couldn’t accept it, I wanted to fight for the love we had, so much, I negociated, I asked for more time, I begged, I told him that if he still loved me it would be worth it. after a day of speaking he said ok. A week after I asked him again ( because I was afraid and I had been walking on eggshells all week), he said that he still had that feeling that we wouldn’t be together forever, but he told me he loved me and he really wanted to work for it, to work on it and make it work! ( i was so happy!)
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