My relationship was an open one. We had an argument and i wanted to broke up but went back after 2 days. I later took some space without telling him, its been on for about 4 months. So we didn’t break up but I’m worried he thinks so. He called first one month after the space but i didn’t pick or chat with him. Then 2 weeks later he called again and i picked, we talk for a while about nothing important but didn’t call again. Then sent Christmas and new year message which i replied but nothing else. Then 2 weeks after that i sent him birthday message and called once but he never picked or called back. But 5 days ago he called and sounded so quiet,l. The conversation was really short, i was nice and i didn’t ask to meet him either but right now I’m really worried if things will never improve. We normally use to chat on WhatsApp and i haven’t received a message from him. I don’t know if i should still keep holding on or to move on.
You sound like you have Borderline Personality Disorder…..how do I know this? Because I have it too. Unless you are just really young and this is your very first relationship and you haven’t a clue how to act. Seriously though, look up BPD and see if you have any of the other symptoms….and if you do, go get diagnosed and get some therapy and meds…..it helps !

“Sabrina! I followed your advice and got my ex back and would love to share my story. He broke up with me last year in April after being together for about a year and a half. When he broke up with me I kept it together and didn’t cry and was understanding of his decision, I kind of knew it was coming. Of course, I broke down as soon as I left his house. He was even crying when I left. Anyway, I decided to go completely no contact. We were still friends on Facebook because we didn’t want to leave things on bad terms. I was really focused on doing my best to move on and live my life. After seven weeks of no contact, he reached out to me. I didn’t make it too easy because I wanted him to work a bit, and I was also trying to move on. Eventually, we decided to meet up and ended up having a three-hour conversation. It was a really good one and we talked about what we were looking for and he was very understanding of what I needed and the reasons it ended at all. That was almost a year ago and we are still together. And while we still have our issues and are trying to work through things, it’s definitely so much better than it was the first time around. I think holding myself together and absolutely no contact was the key!”
So your breakup sucked and everything went horribly wrong. Welcome to almost every breakup in the world. It happens. No matter what caused the breakup or how bad it was, there are ways to get your ex-girlfriend back. If you take the correct actions at the correct time you can find yourself back together quicker than you imagined. It’s simply a matter of knowing what to do and when.
Focus on patterns. Rather than blaming each other, consider how patterns from each of you has led to problems. For instance, maybe you consistently forget to call home when you're going to be late, and your partner then gets upset when you don't show up. Consequently, you punish him or her the next time by not calling home, which is a cyclical pattern. When you bring it up, focus on how to solve the problem, such as "I will try to be better about calling home, if maybe you can forgive me the few times that I forget. Or maybe you can send me a text near the end of the day, so I will be more aware of what time it is."[10]
I have known very rocky relationships that have sorted themselves out over time and then lasted, as far as I could tell, forever. Sometimes, these new beginnings started in the judge’s chambers when the divorce was being finalized. Sometimes afterwards. I have recently come across someone who married the same woman three times—although it is hard to believe that they have, at last, come to terms with each other. In these instances, it is often the case that the couple had not ever really made clear to each other just how strongly they felt about certain things. (They would say at this point that they told the other person a hundred times just what they felt; but I have been witness to some of these conversations, and sometimes I am left not quite understanding how strong their feelings were.)
Stopping communications with your ex is absolutely imperative because you are going to become a happier and a more attractive person during this step. Remember all the negative traits we talked about in step 1? You have to get rid of all those traits. Think of it as trying to seduce someone new. You have to be confident, calm, relaxed, happy and a fun person to be considered attractive.
You need to do some self therapy. Start a virtual diary (open Word and start writing). Write about what part you played in the relationship failing, which you already know – your insecurities. Next, you need to really come to acceptance with yourself. Ok, so you’re unsure about a few things, but why? What happened in your past that is making you so needy with your bf/ex bf? What ever it is, stop it. Raise your communication level and just tell him “I’m insecure about _____ because _____ happened. So please help reassure me that I chose you because you’re not an @$$hole.” Just be honest, what do you have to lose? Oh that’s right, your bf because you accuse him of doing something he’s not. Yes that was harsh, but you have to be harsh on yourself. Take a moment to fix yourself, otherwise you have no change with him or anyone else.
My ex and I were dating for 4 months. It wasn’t like any other relationship I have ever had! We were always having fun. He was a police officer that worked really long hours and on the night shift, I am an office manager who keeps daytime hours. As time progressed it grew harder to see one another but we still made time for one another. We never argued or fought really. Seriously everything went so smoothly, he was caring, and kind, and super sweet, and always went out of his way to show me that. Well when we first met, he told me he was in the process of buying a house, it was going to be about an hour away, well this made me uneasy but he was always reassuring me that we could make things work. Well one sunday afternoon before he was going to work i sent him a text to see what we were doing the next day, well his response was i don’t know i have yo close on my house tomorrow. Ummmmm wait a minute what house? His response was you knew I was buying a house. So i was loke leaving him alone at that point a few hours later, mind you he was at work, i text him i don’t think this is going to work you are nocturnal i am not we both work hard and its already difficult to see eachother and you live 15 mins away. anyways he told me he needed time to dedicate the conversation to. I said olay and goodnight and went to bed. I spent the next day pampering myself preparing for the worse, he texts me and acts like nothing had happened, i tell him we need to have a conversation, he said he needed time to sort things out, welll i pressured him and he agreed staying together would just be delaying the inevitable i cried he puked, i realized i had been overreacting and apologized and well he hasnt accepted my apology. I went on vacation a few days later and he watched my animals while i was gone, when i was away we kept minimal contact, relatively amicable, but when i got home i found a very expensive goft i had bought him months prior for his new house in the bottom of my laundry basket at this point i flipped out called him every name in the book and told him to get his coward ass to my house to drop off my keys. A day and a half later he showed up gave me my keys we say 3 or 4 words. I shut the door and lock itm i immediately apologize for my behavior but i told him i didn’t want him to see me upset. Now we don’t even speak. I am so hurt and distraught. I know we were together a short time, but i have been in 2 very long term relationships and i can tell you i have never felt the way i felt about him about any other person in my life. I don’t know what to do. I am so sorry, I apologized a milliom ways and he just doesn’t seem to care anymore. And he hasn’t tried once to contact me on his own in over 2.5 weeks.
Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
I have many more tips and tricks for tempting your ex back without contacting her. I’ll show you the ones that are right for your personal situation after you complete my chances of getting your ex back quiz. Only once you’ve done that quiz can I know which tips and tactics will work for your particular situation. Feel free to go ahead and take the quiz now.

Me and my ex were together for 4 and a half months. She mentioned a while ago when a guy messaged her that they had a thing before me and her but she assured me that it was the past. Apparently not. She broke up with me because I don’t have a job and I’m apparently lazy. I smoke cigarettes and weed and I am forcing myself to quit these things and I feel like its the only chance of getting her back. Ive also been looking suuuper hard.for a job, but it isnt easy when youre17. This guy that she had a thing with before us is now going all out to try and snatch her up. She broke up with me a week ago and I got information from her friend that she has already gone out on 2 dates with him… that hit me like a train. As soon as I heard that I bursted into tears. She seems like the type to come back after a while but im just not sure because she mentioned that she just doesnt feel the same way about me as she did before, the “butterflies” are missing. I will do anything in my power to get her back because what i dont think she realises is that I am the one who actually cares about her and loves her and this other guy just wants sex. I am way too attatched to this girl and she has such a huge part of my heart and its killing me that she left me so suddenly. :( I REALLY need your help…


It will take some practice to get to that stage (where you’re behaving attractively around her on autopilot), so improving your body language is something you should get started on right away, as soon as you begin the No Contact Period (Step 3 as above). That way, when you do go to meet with her after no contact, she’ll ‘just feel’ that you have a sexier and more attractive presence.

I have been in a releshp wth my ex grlfrend for 4yrs she was my school sweethert we came from far she loved meh soo much we did everythng toghet na untll she had a crush on some guybt she found out the guy is in arelshp wth anther person she came back to meh cryng i accpted her back bt then after a mnth se change start sayng we break up bt then she apologies back for her word iknw ehe was up2 smthng i broke up wth her she didnt even say why or sory she said alryt naw its been 3weeksi tryed callng her bt she nat intrested shes is sayng she want to be single an forcus… so do you think she is a relshp wth smeone else i need advice shoild i just move on?


Everything was going very fine, and suddenly he messaged me that he doesn’t even want to be with me anymore because he doesn’t feel for me the same way he did. Everyday he was like, he is not going to come back and all. When i came from my home to my college, he is also in the same college, we met again, but still he was like doesn’t have feelings. We spent time as he was clearing the facts that he doesn’t feel for me but still care for me. We shared some intimate moments and he is like that was only one moment, that’s it. How come feelings got vanished suddenly. We never fought and I supported him a lot in every aspect. i have tried so many things to save this relation.

I’m in the exact same situation, I know he loves me, but he’s tierd of believing I would stop making problems out of everything, he tells me he has stopped believing he can love me, but that he really thinks he might stop thinking that after some time. This all happened in one week, I don’t believe he has stopped loving me, all the times he told me never to doubt his love, it can’t end like this. For now I’m going to give him time, not talk to him.. But I don’t know how to let him know I have changed and that we can truly bé together without any troubles and fusses. What happened with you Anabelle, have you solved it? I really need help
In 2012, my little brother Adam died. My life shattered, and I spent the next month drunk in bed. It had been four years since Mary and I had spoken, but it spoke volumes to me that she came out of the woodwork to send me a handwritten note expressing her sorrow for Adam’s death. Through everything—the fights, the skipped plans, the immaturity—she found it in herself to reach out to me. I was blown away, and she was back in my life. We learned that we only lived a few blocks away from each other, and that is how we started dating for the fourth and final time. Once again we started seeing each other as friends. We always met up at this one café in the Lower East Side. I’d get a coffee, and she’d get a bagel.
He broke up with me last Monday after 1 year and 3 months, for me it was the happiest time of my life and we never fought and had a happy and loving relationship. Reading this has really helped me as I’m going into my second week of NC tomorrow. I genuinely think we both needed a break but I’m not going to sit here and believe that we’re gonna get back together I’m just going to do my 4 Week Detox, then go from there. Wish me luck . X
The important thing to remember is working on yourself is the most valuable step in this process. Whether you decide to take your ex back or not after this process is entirely up to you. Either way, you would have done the work to become a better person. And being happy and whole is a strong foundation for love anyway… whether it’s with your ex or someone else.

More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively. Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast. Remember, you still have to be the one to end the conversation first. Lets look at how a conversation like this might play out using an example from above:
I founded out he cheated on me two weeks ago not heard from him and now the loan people he answered to but he’s. Not speaking to anyone else. as he’s gone holiday I have no idea when he back worried outta mind but he said he would pay off the loan for me but he needs to sort it out with me. and I’m scared he’s not going to talk to me I still love him
My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me two days ago. He was an alcoholic and he got mean when he drank and he ended up going to jail because he scared me.(that was like7 months to a year of our relationship) He went to rehab and is so much better. When we would fight he would always throw “puting him in jail” in my face. I’m not trying to be the hero I just wanted him to get help. I was very insecure and clingy in the relationship and he gave me so many chances to change. I would be doing really great then hit a bump in the road and make a mistake and he would blow up and dump me and I’d convince him I’m doing better, and he would say one last chance. Well the night before I made a huge mistake and he said that’s it were done! He started calling me horrible names and telling me that he hated me so much. I asked if I could come see him to talk about it and he said yes drive really fast (meaning drive fast and wreck) everything I would say he would laugh at like I was a joke. He told me to never ever talk to him again. He also said the soonest he would ever talk to me was 10 years. Idk if he said all that because he was angry, or if he really meant it. I’m not going to communicate with him for a while. But idk if he will even contact me because he erased my number and blocked me on fb. Which I’m kinda glad he did so I don’t have to look at him and see his posts. I love him so much and I’m working on bettering myself. But after that idk what to do….
And now he is texting me everyday, not a lot but to know how i’m doing, says I can talk to him whenever I want, that he wants us to stay best friends like we used to and that he wants me to “be myself” with him, text him whatever I want…But I know he doesnt really want to talk to me, like if he has a problem he will go to someone else. I think he is mostly being nice, and trying to ease the break up for himself by not losing me completely (he said that if we keep talking its easier cause it’s “more normal”).
So my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and 4 months. Honestly he was obsessed and so was I but i became too comfortable. He was my world and I never thought he would leave me. He would always chase after me and showering me with love and it made me the happiest person alive. One day he got tired of fighting with me and he dumped. told me he didnt want me anymore. I looked like a fool, i begged i cried i ran after him but he just walked away with his head up. it was so painfully. he blocked me on everything so i dont have contact but if i text him he will usually unblock to read my messages. it hurts so bad and as messed up as it is i still want him. I want him back so badly it kills.
Okay, so it’s been a month since our breakup, which he initiated by saying that he wasn’t feeling ‘OK’ with himself so he could, therefore, not be with anyone else, that he was hurting me with his hot and cold attitude (true) and that I deserved so much better. It broke my heart, but after that conversation, I went to his place (I had offered like the weekend to think about it, but he was gonna go away to the beach with friends to ‘clear his head’ and it just was too much for me) that night to break it off. He didn’t let me come into his place, sent his grandma to tell me he wasn’t there, told her I saw him and that I’d wait but only a little while ’cause it was late. He came out, same argument but now backed up by my “I do deserve better”, “I do deserve someone who will fight for me” and his “Let’s be friends”, “I don’t want you to disappear from my life” and “I will always care for you”. I naively believed all this and we were supposed to meet that weekend so he could give me some of my stuff, I got a message late telling me he was sick in bed and couldn’t, so I asked what should we do about it (mistake, I know :/) and then another week went by and didn’t hear from him, so I sent him a subtle text asking for my stuff back that I didn’t wanna fight and there was no point to him ignoring me but… he just kept on ignoring me. BTW, I did stop texting except for yesterday and the day before to pick up my stuff. So, he didn’t reply (he lives far so I didn’t wanna show up and him not there :/) but I went with a gf who sorely hates him and wanted this over and done with for me to move on. Texted him I was a block away, he was so surprised (Um, he could’ve checked his phone when he was online?) and was like “So, you’re getting your stuff and then just leaving?” and I said “Of course, what else do you expect?” and he replied “I don’t know, just asking”. So, he came out and I handed him his stuff, said I didn’t have to bother and asked what I brought. Stupidly, I started to tell him each item but then stopped and just handed him the bag, he handed me my stuff and he was about to talk to me when my friend said “We gotta go, got plans, remember?” and I snapped out of it and just waved and said “Well, take care, bye” and he just looked at me all shocked and ‘sentimental’ (something was going on there, no idea what kind of feelings, confusion?) and I turned around before he closed the door.

My first ever boyfriend of 4 years plus broke up with me by saying “let’s just be friends”, “I don’t see a future with you anymore, I’ve tried but I just can’t.”, “You’ve to understand that it’s not you, it’s me. Even if you change, I’ll still be the same and eventually the same problem will unfold and we’ll quarrel again”. I’ve sent him threads of messages saying I’ll change and will be able to overlook issues and gradually hope that things will change for the better, but he seems to have made up his mind and wanna end this relationship with me.
Hello Sergio, after I read your book I began working on myself and my life is changing quite a bit. There's a lot of positive news! I now know that I will succeed! I did a lot to help minimize the damage of my personal crisis and was able to help 2 friends who were in similar situations. One of my friends broke up with his girlfriend year ago, the other half year ago. I won't go into details about their girlfriends, but will say that the women have gotten my friends to a point where one started to drink heavily, and the other using drugs. Thankfully, I was able to help them! First of all, I wrote 3 “magic letters”, which worked like a magnet first on my girlfriend, and then on the girlfriends of my friends. I don’t know why it took 3 letters, but that’s the fact. The effect from these letters was like a nuclear bomb, or a knockout in boxing – our women still don’t know what hit them. We only changed the names of the girlfriends and some small details in the letters, but the effect was exactly the same on all of them!!! They were very surprised and interested in us again. They also corrected a lot of their negative behavior. I first tried this technique out on my girlfriend, then, helped one of my friends. The third didn’t want to believe that something so simple could work, but now he’s a true follower!
Recently found your blog after going through some weird “fwb to dating to him getting himself a gf” kinda situation for over a year now. Even tho I loved him I now realize I love myself more and I won’t put myself in this situation again. Thank you for putting things in a different perspective for me. It’s helped me out greatly and I’ve been more focused on myself now. Thank you!
By ex dumped me new years eve after over a year together and I feel like my world has been ripped apart. We rushed into our relationship…or should I say he did. When we first met, he stayed one night…then another…then another and before you knew it, he had never left. He moved his things in and we were happy. I adore him and he said he adored me. There was talk or marriage and children. But in the last few weeks we had been arguing so much. I found out he had lied several times, met his ex’s etc so we argued. And the day b4 new years eve I found out he was out with his ex gf while I was at work. So I went mad and we argued. The next day he finished with me saying it was to hard. We argue to much, he needs his own space, his own life and his own belongings etc. He said he loves me and wants me so much it hurts but he needs to sort his head out and there is no chance. 2days later he said that he will ‘think’ about us after he’s sorted his head out. He’s taken his stuff and moved into a house 20seconds from my place. I want to believe that he will be back after I give him space but I’m so worried that he is just trying not to hurt me my giving me this false hope and in a few weeks when I’m not so raw, realise that he either wants single life or a new gf and say its 100% over :( iv not bugged him all the time with messages and I havnt called him once. Iv told him I will give him space until the end of january and not tx me until he knows what he wants. I’m worried he will forget about me and not miss me. He wants holidays with his mates etc and I can’t go because I have two children and money issues, so I think he may realise that freedom is what he wants. I offered him a compromise by saying that he can move out, see his friends etc but we start again, date slowly like once a week etc but he hasn’t responded much. I’m so confused and it hurts so much I physically can’t cope with the pain. Some advice would really help me please :(
St.jude I come to you with a broken heart asking for forgiveness and that u please pray for my relationship. Please heal us and make Please let him love me again like he once did please help him trust me and want to make things work. We have so much time invested in each other and my love for this man is beyond measures for me to just give up on him. I will fight till the end I will fight for what I love please st.jude help me be strong help me remove any negative thoughts that go through my head and please help both him and I stay positive and I know it will take a lot of time patience honesty convincing and time and trust to get back to where we once were. But I know with prayer to our Heavenly Father and you st.jude anything is possible. Hear my prayers in the name of our amazing powerful Heavenly Father.

I have one for you guys! I started dating this girl that in my mind is the perfect one! I mean I couldnt possibly build a better woman. Well after 4 years of dating we broke up because she was tired of my habbits.!? Well we have been broken up now for three years and she still calls and texts every day. When I go to her house for the night she sleeps in her bed alone. She helps me in any way I need. (Bails me outta jail, pays my phone bill, buys me sweet gifts, ect.)
You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.
I was just diagnosed with this. (BPD) my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me because I pushed him away. I was so scared of the thought of losing him, I lost him. For 2 months he said “you’re driving me nuts. If you don’t stop blowing me up and checking up on me, we’re going to break up. Is contacting me now worth losing me for the rest of our lives?” He told me I made him do it and now says there will never be an “us” again. No more contacting him, social media efforts, and no talking to his friends again. He said if I didn’t leave him alone, he’d get a restraining order. I want him back so badly and don’t know what i can do to know that I’ve realized what I did wrong and can and will give him his space; though I’ve promised it several times before. I know he’s the one for me and its killing me knowing that everything could’ve been different if I would have just listened. I knew what to do…STOP. But my insecurities wouldn’t let me put down my phone and blow him up. Now I can’t contact him…I don’t know what to do.
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”

On my birthday on August 23rd…. I couldn’t tell you what it was….. it was like life changing really…. it hit at once and I missed him, I love him (which I always have but I never loved him like I do now), I cried probably the first time over him or really anything in probably 3 years and that was only because my grandfather passed away whom was also like my dad. But now I feel that it’s almost too late… He doesn’t say it like that but he just says to give him time, not to call / text him (but then said tonight I could if I wanted to), and that he would need to think about it because of this other girl. He said something like “she may say or do something I don’t like and that be the end of it” and then was like “I could tell her tomorrow that I wanna work things out with you, you never know” and then the next thing you know he’s in a bad mood because he said I waited so long to actually express myself to him….

When you go out or have new experiences, take pictures of your new and improved appearance. When you’re doing your favourite things, take a picture. You can also take pictures with your friends. Be happy. Then post on social media like instagram or facebook. This will help you attract new friends too! Your ex may or may not see these photos. Who cares? You’re enjoying yourself and you will attract more like-minded people. But please don’t post too much. Posting once every two days is a good amount to not annoy others while showing your amazing life.
Another year goes by. It was summer and I was having the time of my life. I decided to take a break from dating and focus on myself. Then I ran into him in Central Park on a Saturday afternoon. At last, he was single and I was single, we were both living in NYC, now was the time. But he didn’t contact me after that. So I decided to contact him. I sent him a friendly message on Facebook and opened the door wide for him to ask me out… but he didn’t take my expertly laid out bait.
If you’re noticing that your ex is losing interest in you or talking with you, getting on with their own life, moving on and moving past your former relationship, avoiding your calls, are always busy instead of wanting to talk or never seem to be around when you’re calling, you may be a little uncomfortable. These signs don’t necessarily mean that her decision to leave you is set in stone. There are some techniques that go outside the box that can work in even the most hopeless of circumstances. You just need to change the way she sees you and get her mindset to change. It’s not as hard as it sounds.
Hlo ,on 27th June he broken up with me,we spnd lot of time together,he is my first love and everything for me,ours relationship was to good evn in school all teachers know about tht we are in relationship, all students said made for each other ,I think about him always every minute ,I was wanting a2nd chance to solve the problem but he decided to breakup evn he doesn’t give any reason why he want to break up with me,i had sent him lot of msgs to convenience him,bt I also force him to continue the relationship otherwise I do sucide and all ,I know there is my mistake and I’m feeling guilty about this ,I was do this only because I don’t want let him go bt after doing this he starts hating.now he don’t evn want to talk me ,it’s hard it’s realize that I will never be with this boy again ,he is the boy who does not want to make me cry bt now he hates me because of my reason bt later I apologise him and try to convince him and pleased him to talk evn as a frnd but he doesn’t so please please please give me some advice how I get him back because I don’t want to leave him in any condition

I did something stupid, so my cousin and been searching net and she found something called the Second chance letter and so I wrote one and gave him when he came to pick up some of his clothing. I wrote it just as explained, saw a sample and did it that way, In the beginning I put that I accepted the break up and then apologize that I didn’t showed that I appreciated him and then the part stating that good things been happening and someday would like to tell him about it but right now we both still needing space.
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