The problem is she’s cut me off once before after a bad night than about 3 months later wanted to hang out again. This time around I made all the right moves. Took her out to fancy dinners, wine tastings, spent days with her at her apartment for study dates, hung out with her and her friends, took random walks. And now because I messed up for New Years I’m a terrible person. I just don’t get it. I’m hurting like crazy here and I just don’t know what to do. I can’t go through this pain again. :( I feel horrible and would do anything to redo that moment or make it up to her. Any suggestions?
For the last 3 yrs I was the one who reach out to him every time he leave, now I am applying the no contact, is been 2 weeks, is been hard but I told myself I will have to keep my ground for at least 3 months before I consider reaching out to him. Do you think he will reach out to me this time around? if so, any idea after how long he will reach out to me? I think I may got him used to me giving in all the time.
I kept thinking that she was crazy, and she was convinced that I was stupid. I was walking on eggshells because she was just so prickly. We never had sex anymore and we didn’t agree on anything. Technically we were living in a sexless marriage. Many of our fights (over little things) ended with one of us casually suggesting that divorce might be the answer. It hurt. When I thought of divorce, and the end of my family, I thought, How did we get to this? (Stopping the Fighting is the FIRST thing you need to do as I talk about in my article How to Fix a Broken Marriage)
So I went back to doing what I was doing. I focused on myself, I had fun, I spent time with friends, I did a lot of writing, I traveled, I discovered so many things about myself. I felt happier and better than ever before, all the pieces in my life were finally clicking … and then at the very end of the summer, he reached out to me and after hours of talking, he asked me out. Our first date was seven hours long and we got married a year to the day later!
Ok gonna give this a bash sounds like good advice for me just now! Been with my boyf a year and half just moved in together 2 months ago. Recently we have been having massive arguments where neither of us seem to be able to walk away from or stop hurting each other. We had another silly argument last week and he has now left me saying its over and we can’t keep going round in circles. We have both been married before and know that we have never felt this strongly for anyone I’m our pasts and when we are not arguing things are amazing. I know that he is very stubborn and insecure (not saying I’m perfect!) but I really do feel that if we can just learn to communicate better and actually walk away and forgive when having an argument we can get thru this and grow together but he just says there’s no going back! Anymore advise or help would be greatly appreciated here as I’m a mess rite now x
You see that picture of me and the kids at the top of the page? Those two, more than anything else, made me want to save my marriage to Allison. I’m sure a lot of you are in the same position. You do what you can so those young ones don’t have to experience a broken home or a home of yelling and fighting. My wife took that picture 7 years ago. I have a smile on my face but my relationship was falling apart and I was desperate to save my marriage. Actually, I wasn’t desperate, I was angry and bitter and confused and I was almost ready to throw in the towel after 5 years of marriage to Allison. I was ready to consider breaking up our home and shattering the lives of my 3 year old daughter and my 1 year old son. I went through the motions of saying “I Love You” to Allison, but with all the fights we had I wasn’t really sure I believed it anymore.
Couples therapy can help you learn new skills. Love and relationship psychologist Dr. Sarah Schewitz says: "If you really want your relationship to work, but you're just not getting along, you should probably reach out for help and acknowledge that you don't have the skills to fix it. There's nothing wrong with needing help. That's what couples therapy is for, to help you learn the tools to have the relationship you both want."
I want to say a very big thanks to Dr OLU for the wonderful work he did for me in helping me to save my marriage, my husband ask for a divorce letter because of the little misunderstanding we had in the past few month, And i never wanted this because i love my husband so much and all our investment was a joint business and i don't want to be far away from my family and my two lovely kids. My friend told me about Dr OLU and how he also helped her with her marital issues, so i had to contact him because i want to stop my husband from completing the divorce letter and i want to keep my family together and after contacting him, i was told what i needed to do and when i was going to start seeing the result, I did as Dr. OLU has instructed and after 3 days my Husband call me and start asking for my forgiveness and it was all like a dream to me and we are all living happily together again all thanks to Dr OLU. Contact Him today for marital help via his Whatsapp number: +2348067704010 or call him.
Remember; do not talk about the relationship during this date. Just talk about the things going on in your life and ask them about their life. And you actually have to have something going on in your life to talk about. You cannot tell them how you spend all night yesterday watching reruns of Jersey Shore in your bed. This is another reason why completing Step 2 is so important.
We had been living together for almost 4 years. At first I broke up with him because of his actions (going out a lot lately, did not care to let me know, no sex, lame sex, pitty sex, no meaningful conversations, etc). I gotta accept I expected him to react on this and just promise we would work things out, he kind of did at the beggining but then he just went for it and took off. I was shocked and the two days after the break up I tried to contact him over the phone, texts, waiting for him at work. All things I could imagine. Not proud of it right now. But hey, I was desperate. Well it did not work, he told me he had made his decision and there was no going back. I was a wreck. Because of the time we had been together we shared some bank accounts and financial duties, so I needed to get in touch with him to solve all that out. It has been a week from the break up and we are yet to meet. He says he has no time because he is looking for a new place to stay and that he has other things to do right now, but that he will let me know. Meanwhile I have all his stuff still in my apartment, pictures, clothes, etc. It is really hard. But I have decided to just leave it as it is. Will not contact him again, unless he does and see if when we meet again something has changed, otherwise I guess I’ll just have to move on. I am working out and renewing my closet haha, keeps my mind out of all this. Any advice?
Make sure you are both open to change. If your primary goal is to protect yourself in the relationship from hurt and anger, you aren't open to change. Instead, you'll likely want to control your partner to enforce that protection, making your relationship negative and stagnant. On the other hand, if you're both willing to learn and grow together, your relationship can develop over time into something better. If only one of you is willing to change, it may not work.