So remember, YOU control the amount of mate value that women perceive in you – meaning you DO have the power to get her back, AND to get girls more attractive than her, if you want them. This is why I created this website – to help you control (increase) your mate value and become the attractive man who can entice his ex back, regardless of your occupation, salary looks etc.
By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.
The next thing I want you to do is to stop running from your painful emotions and embrace them. We women tend to stuff down our emotions for fear that a man will get scared by them and run away. But the real truth is that men LOVE our emotional nature – it’s drama that they can’t tolerate. When we learn to get in touch with our feelings and express them in a non–judging, non–critical way, a man will not feel blamed and will feel COMPELLED to open his heart to you.

A week ago my boyfriend of 7 years told me that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. That he still cared and loved me but that he wasn’t happy and the spark was gone. He was my whole world, this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. The problem is that we have to still share an apartment together for another month until I can get my own. I have been trying to stay busy and thinking positive thoughts. But it’s hard when you still have to see him.
The next thing that you need to do has nothing to do with your ex directly. You need to work on yourself. Get to the gym, start running, find something new. Get new friends, and change up your life. You have to do this, so that the point where her friends chime in to see how you’re doing, they’ll relay to her that you’re actually not sweating the break up. Also, you’re going to actually help yourself, and perhaps find a way to your next relationship. You’ll be surprised by this completely.
I don’t know if I have done the right thing. I sent my ex an email to say that I didn’t want to leave things on a bad note and that I hope one day he finds that special girl that will make him happy and one that will understand him as he is special and a complex person and that there is only one of him. That in time hopefully we will be able to become friends. Ended with all the best…Have I done the wrong thing as he didn’t answer me and I know he has read the message??
By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.
You need to become the person that they fell in love with in the first place. No, scratch that, you need to be a person better than the person they fell in love with. You need to show them that you are not the miserable, needy loser who was begging when they broke up with you. There is a good chance that they have associated a lot of negative feelings with you. You have to break the pattern and give them a taste of the new you.
I am going to warn you now.  You will be possessed by this intense desire to contact him.  If only you could talk to him, you think, you would just explain everything and all would be forgotten.  Well, it seldom works that way.  Chances are your efforts will be ignored which will just make you feel worse.  Or you will successfully reach your ex boyfriend and he and you will end up having a heated or disappointing conversation, leaving you feeling bad and rejected yet again.  It’s almost always a no win situation because neither one of you are well equipped right now to deal with your emotional states.  So just cool your heels and keep reading!
My relationship with my ex boyfriend, wasn’t perfect but we made it work for nearly 2 years. He’s ex came back into his life and was complaining to him about her life, making is seem like everyone hates her and that she was thinking about killing herself. He felt sorry for her and they started talking and that led to him having feelings for her again. He told him that he was having feelings for her and then we started talking about us and I ended up telling him that we were expecting, I kinda didn’t want to tell him, but I did. At first he was kinda excited and then he told her and she “nearly” killed herself over that and then he freaked out on me and left. I was/am scared of my child growing up without their father, I grow up with parents hating each other and only got to see my dad every once in awhile. I don’t want that for my child and he knows that and agrees, but yet he left. Anyways, I turned to Dr. Alex for help and he has helped me. All you have to do is believe in his work and trust that he will help you through a break up and bring your ex back if its meant to be. You can reach him through his website above. He can help you with just about anything.

A true apology should be structured as follows: regret, responsibility, and remedy. The first step indicates that you are sorry for what you've done. The second step puts the responsibility on you without making excuses or blaming someone else. The final step offers to make it right or change your behavior in the future.[15] For example: "I just wanted to apologize for when I blew you off all those times that you wanted to spend with me. You must've really felt neglected. I'm going to try really hard from now on, to make it a point to do more things with you so you won't feel like that again. I'm glad you gave me your point of view to realize that."
Don’t get sucked into a prolonged discussion from this point. Don’t try to work anything out. Simply wish her well, give her a hug and leave the conversation and the room. She may follow you and attempt to keep the conversation going. She may start asking you questions or demanding answers. Don’t give in to her requests. You’re not obligated to give her any answers anymore – she ended the relationship. You have changed the rules of the game and the chips haven’t even had the chance to hit the floor.
Broke up with girlfriend after over 2 years together. We had some issues and had been to relate but finished counselling positively. Change of job had me move towns. She followed me 2 months later when she also had new job. My job fell apart and I had to quit just as she relocated. I then got work elsewhere on temporary basis but it went on for 9 weeks. We barely saw each other saw each other. I felt pulled work wise away from her and I allowed it to happen. We split. I was in denial for a month or so. When realisation hit I was heartbroken. I’ve tried emailing to say I want to get back together but she’s said she’s not in love with me and we have no future and that she wants space to heal.. I love her so much. I’ve written a heartfelt apology for hurting her but she won’t respond. I just don’t know what to do. I think she’s built up her barriers and is determined to put me in a box and ignore me. What do I do? I’m so very sad, really love her and can see all the ways we could have a really good relationship but if are doesn’t….
Through marital or couple therapy, the counsellor can help the couple increase effective communication skills, assist in looking at each other’s perspective, discuss what makes a relationship work and what a healthy relationship looks like, help identify specific problems and dynamics of the relationship, understand gridlocked conflicts, and help establish interventions and strategies that will help strengthen conflict management skills.
I am that ex girlfriend who broke up with a controlling man. He started stalking and harrassing me, and would harrass any guy I dated.I told him never to speak to me again, but he still tried to get me back, was watching and following me in person and on line ,so I called the police and filed a report, and later filed a no contact order. Turns out he had a warrant in CA for stalking another lady.I have to say to any guy…be careful of overstepping boundaries. You may push her limits till she is afraid of you or hates the very thought of you.If you are a good man, she will miss you and call you.
You have to look at both negative and positive aspects of your ex and your relationship. Every couple on the face of this planet fights, but if you two broke up, then chances are there was something seriously wrong with your relationship. Think about your relationship rationally. Don’t let your emotions control your thoughts. Imagine, you are a parent and your child was in the same situation as you, would you still tell your son or daughter to get their ex back?

Saving a marriage is a team effort, but there are things you can do on your own. Klare Heston, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, says, “Trying to save your marriage alone is an uphill battle, but you can certainly start the process by yourself. Improve your communication, curtail your defensiveness, and identify what you contribute to your marital problems. Consider seeing a therapist if you are too overwhelmed.”
Focus on patterns. Rather than blaming each other, consider how patterns from each of you has led to problems. For instance, maybe you consistently forget to call home when you're going to be late, and your partner then gets upset when you don't show up. Consequently, you punish him or her the next time by not calling home, which is a cyclical pattern. When you bring it up, focus on how to solve the problem, such as "I will try to be better about calling home, if maybe you can forgive me the few times that I forget. Or maybe you can send me a text near the end of the day, so I will be more aware of what time it is."[10]
Through marital or couple therapy, the counsellor can help the couple increase effective communication skills, assist in looking at each other’s perspective, discuss what makes a relationship work and what a healthy relationship looks like, help identify specific problems and dynamics of the relationship, understand gridlocked conflicts, and help establish interventions and strategies that will help strengthen conflict management skills.
So…I had been in a few relationships earlier but they were not too serious and were so immature. Then for a long period of about 3 years…I was single and I was quite enjoying my life. I met this guy at a concert and felt attracted…and before we can proceed, the very next day he proposed me. I knew that this was mere attraction so I declined and told him what I felt. But then.. After some days..I felt I needed him and so we came into relationship. He had a previous relationship with a girl for 2 years with which he didn’t felt attached. And so…he had approached me. Well our relationship was obviously a non serious one at initial stages…but as we proceeded…he started falling for me …even I felt the same. He said he was glad to find me ..and that I changed his life for better… It was all like a sweet dream till 5 months. He was too serious..he even planned everything about our future…and introduced me to his family. Obviously we had a few differences on some matters but we always ended up being together. And then one day… I found him flirting with a random girl on social site…I bit of overreacted..and all was a mess…and he asked for second chances… I said I needed time…and he said no he will prefer being single…and I said ok.
Me and my girlfriend been together for 14 months. We almost had an baby. But the baby died. After 3 weeks she started to act different. I called her horrible names like 6 different occasions. Now I text her she doesn’t even text me back. I call her shell call me a couple hours later. I love her so much. I text her in the morning that I apologize. Saying nice sweet stuff. Then when I wanna break up with her. She gets so mad at me. She don’t even wanna see me like that. It hurts me so bad. What should I do.
About 2 weeks ago, after an intense brunch date he texts me saying he doesn’t think I am capable of or know how to be in a solid relationship. He listed all my flaws (he was right about some of it) and he pretty much said he didn’t want to be in a relationship where his girlfriend showed no emotion. Other hurtful things were said and I was blindsided by it all.
A huge obstacle to getting your ex back is fixating on the relationship, pining for what was lost, and wishing things would be different. Not only is it an obstacle to getting the relationship you want, but it is also an obstacle to your own sense of peace. Think about it. Most suffering arises from wanting the present moment or present situation to be different than what it is.
This totally worked. Six weeks of cutting him completely out and I suddenly get a text out of the blue, him wanting to see me. Any tips for how to handle that meeting if you would still consider taking him back? I have made up my mind that he gets one shot. He broke it off, saying things were moving too fast and that the “spark” wasn’t there after talking about proposing the weekend before. I’m over it but would give the idiot another shot since everyone’s saying it’s just cold feet. This blog SAVED me. I was able to stay on my white horse and keep my dignity in what was the worst and most unexpected breakup ever. I’m feeling confident that I can handle seeing him and just be myself (new and improved, graceful, no BS version). Thank you so much for writing all of these things!
St. Jude I ask that you find it in your heart to pray for me and my boyfriends relationship. I ask that you take away any temptation my boyfriend may have or remove any other individual that will come between our relationship. Help him to be aware of how much I care and love him. I ask that you help our relationship be strong, loving, honest, and respectful. In the name of the father the son and the holy spirit. AMEN –
My god, you have described men to a ‘t’! Any man that’s rotunda having had a lot of ego & the truth is they are pussycsts underneath! Thankyou for this – it’s saved my heart as it’s reminded me of everything I already know but sealed it, no empathy and heart break after being left with our tiny baby after being very in love or atleast I thought we were! Apparently he wants to ‘be free’ and not be ‘ tied down’! Says he doesn’t love me, never did but tried! I’m a fairly ok attractive woman (just so you don’t think he pulled out bcs I have one leg or something) so much so that he begged me to get a tattoo of his initials as he loved me so much! but I pulled out. How does that work then????am mans madly in love with you, sees you vulnerable and kegs it! Nice ?
It happens all the time, people lose their girlfriends and they want them back, but it doesn’t happen. The reason why it doesn’t happen, is because you don’t know the tips and tricks that actually work. If you want to get an ex back, there are some things that you need to consider. The following are the best tips that you can take with you today to ensure that you’re going to get the upper hand in your life. These take time, so don’t think that you’re going to get through with this overnight. Take your time, gain some confidence and hit these notes in getting your ex girlfriend back.
I was insecurebecause usually he’ll call me on lunch time then became like I haven’t got any calls till come home late at night such as 2 a.m. then I get frustrated and let him sleep out in the carthen I get emotional and let him in the house then I just felt like I wasn’t his girlfriend.it was a Friday night he was supposed to come from normal time and bring dinner to he didn’t come the next day so I went to work came home and all his clothes where gone no calls are text message from him.. I had complain a lot.. what should I do to get b him back to love we again.. I’m going to do the no contact b rule ima follow those steps and see how it goes
I’m in the same exact boat as you. My ex and I were together almost 4 months, we were amazing together till he started working again. Then we were fighting all the time. He accused me of cheating when I would’ve never have even thought to do that. I love him with all my heart. We’ve been broke up 2 weeks and more drama happened and now I don’t even know if I’ll ever have him back. Because before all the drama happened on Saturday he told his friend he was going to take me back in a week or two, he just needed more time. I love him with all my heart. I had to start the NC over again, so I’m only on day 7. Did any of this work for you? I’m scared and hurt, can’t help but have hope though. Only thing making me feel partially okay
Whats your opinion in all this? Do you text/call or not? What is going thru his mind about this girl that he’s known for 1.5 months that he doesn’t hang out with, he only texts her he says but they have a “connection”. I don’t see any girls commenting or liking things on his Facebook but when I’m around and his phone is around he’s quick to make sure he doesn’t leave it or I don’t go thru it.
Relationships often end in a whirlwind of doubt and bitter accusation. You probably said a few things you didn't mean, and she fought back. Now that you've had a little bit of time to think about what's been lost, you know you want her back. If you put your heart and mind to it, you might be able to win her over all over again. Fixing whatever went wrong in the first place can be all it takes to prove that you've changed.
"Infidelity isn't the end of the marriage or the relationship," says April Masini, a relationship expert and author of books including Romantic Date Ideas, which includes sexy "at home" dates and fail-proof seduction secrets. She says if both people in the relationship really want things to work — in spite of feeling sad, betrayed or angry — it can be done. "The most important thing to remember is that most infidelities are a symptom of a problem in the relationship. They don't mean something is wrong with the person who cheated or the person who was cheated on. When couples can see infidelity as a relationship problem, they are more likely to be able to work on the relationship and go the distance."
You just started dating a new guy. You are in that honeymoon phase and everything is great. You are constantly complimenting him and giving him acknowledgment that he is wanted by you. Basically he loves hearing that you are interested in him. However, as time goes on things begin to change. You don’t compliment him as much because you don’t need to land him anymore. This is when the problems begin for him.

Maybe you will watch your favorite movie at home or go out. You will have fun together and do many things you’ve always enjoyed . Try to envision every detail and understand that this is not just a dream. It is completely possible to get your girlfriend back! Now you know that there are techniques and secrets that can help you restore your relationship!
The love that you and a woman share NEVER goes away. What happens is that the love gets pushed into the background because of all the negative feelings in the foreground. To get back in touch with the loving feelings you once experienced with each other, you need to make changes to your behavior and how you treat her. When you do this correctly, the love naturally comes flooding back.
Français: sauver son couple, Italiano: Salvare una Relazione, Español: salvar una relación, Deutsch: Wie man eine Beziehung rettet, Português: Salvar um Relacionamento, Русский: спасти отношения, 中文: 挽救一段感情, Bahasa Indonesia: Menyelamatkan Hubungan, Nederlands: Een relatie redden, Tiếng Việt: Cứu vãn một Mối Quan hệ, ไทย: รักษาความสัมพันธ์, Čeština: Jak zachránit vztah, العربية: إنقاذ علاقة عاطفية
My vibe was affected by stress of school and radiated out into other areas of my life without my realizing…granted my ex never communicated how I was making him feel, but the breakup made me realize what had happened and how i can get those stress levels down and vibe up…I am prepared it is too late…he will never be able to share those vibes. But if he doesn’t hes also missing out because I feel good, a little sad it didn’t work out, but good overall.

Be honest about how you feel, within reason. Don't tell her what she might have done wrong in the relationship. Instead, focus on you. Let her know that you've thought a lot about where things went wrong, and show her all the ways in which you've changed. Tell her how you've become more patient, more forgiving, more aware of your own shortcomings, and be sure to back it up with action. If you say you've become more forgiving, be able to show her that you're not as quick to point out other peoples' faults.


Today, I’ve got the usual habit to clear his Hotmail inbox and I realized that he’d booked two tickets to a horror late night movie yesterday. And at this point of time, I might have guess that he’s watching it with the girl whom he previously had dinner with. Somehow, I felt that he might have taken a slight interest in this girl colleague and have decided to move on and try out dating the new girl since he’s so firm with his decision on ending off the relationship with me and see no future in us after all that we’ve been through and in such a short period of time?
I love this girl and my dad made me break up with her I didn’t want it but I had to ,so when I did break up with her, I didn’t talk to her for about a month because I would never hurt a girl so what I thought was not to talked to her for a monthbut I was wrong I made things worse its been a year now I did that 2 weeks things still nothing she’s in love with another boy but I still think she loves me because she used to be way in love with me but it is what it is I guess.
That’s really the main aim in Step 8 here – ensure that you don’t make mistakes which would accidentally sabotage the natural getting-back-together process. There’s several common mistakes most guys make at this exact point, and it’s super important that you know WHAT those mistakes are so that you don’t fall victim to them like most do. If you’re not told what these mistakes are, I honestly believe that you WOULD fall victim to them, so let’s discuss them right now.
Don't try to save a relationship that's toxic or abusive. There's really no way to work on a relationship that's based on toxic patterns or abuse. No amount of working on communication techniques or trying to reignite the romance is going to make things better long-term. You may feel that you're getting something out of the relationship, but you have a lot more to gain by being free.
Pursue your passion. Most of us may struggle to say what our passion in life is. We are too bogged down in our obligations, responsibilities, and routines to carve out any time to give some thought to the things we are passionate about. Your time of no contact is as good a time as any to figure it out. Maybe you’ve always had a love for good art. Maybe you are excited about gardening or writing. Take this time to do those things Also, take this time to try something new. You might just find a passion for something you didn’t know you had before. Engaging in the activities and hobbies that we love, that we are good at, and that we are passionate about go a long way to remind us of our essence and make us feel alive again.
Ok gonna give this a bash sounds like good advice for me just now! Been with my boyf a year and half just moved in together 2 months ago. Recently we have been having massive arguments where neither of us seem to be able to walk away from or stop hurting each other. We had another silly argument last week and he has now left me saying its over and we can’t keep going round in circles. We have both been married before and know that we have never felt this strongly for anyone I’m our pasts and when we are not arguing things are amazing. I know that he is very stubborn and insecure (not saying I’m perfect!) but I really do feel that if we can just learn to communicate better and actually walk away and forgive when having an argument we can get thru this and grow together but he just says there’s no going back! Anymore advise or help would be greatly appreciated here as I’m a mess rite now x

There are some who think that marriage is inviolable. Different religions may forbid or discourage divorce. It was thought once that the public interest demanded that divorce be made difficult, so that children would not be left homeless. In New York State, divorce was only possible in the context of infidelity, and so men and women would routinely perjure themselves and defame themselves in order to get a divorce. But it is not that way in New York anymore; and divorce has generally become more acceptable. But divorce, like any other serious relationship, is rarely ended without emotional distress.
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