So he moved out of my flat but he left the majority of his stuff here at my apartment. I went on a trip and I asked him to take his stuff from my place for good, he had 7 days for that. When I arrived home, nothing happened, his stuff were still here. During my holiday I didn’t contact him, when he messaged me, I didn’t respond him. When I was traveling home he messaged me like “we need to talk.” I didn’t know what could happened, so I replied with a simple “about what?” when he told me he didn’t have the emotional strength to take his stuff and he also was worried about me that if something terrible happened to me or what? So I replied to his messages focusing on the context like “I’m gonna pack your stuff alone” and then he asked me if I need help with it, I answered him with a simple “no”. So did I violated the “no contact rule” here? Can we consider all this as “emergency”? and also do you think I made “one of the biggest mistakes” by being too cold or rude? Please help me, I don’t want to drive him away, I don’t know what to do. :(
Seeing that your ex-girlfriend is moving on by getting into a relationship with another guy can be extremely disheartening, and you may think that all hope is lost. That’s not necessarily the case. Rebound relationships are prevalent when one person doesn’t want to work on the issues that came up during their breakup, and rebound relationships simply don’t last. By diving into a new relationship, your ex is trying to avoid dealing with her feelings for you. That new relationship simply won’t measure up.

But sometimes filling your life with positive things is not enough. In fact, having a good vibe isn’t really about having the things you love around you or trying to imprint the idea that you feel good into your mind. It’s more about removing the self-destructive, negative thinking (and the behavior that the negative thinking creates) – i.e. changing the lens that you see the world yourself and your situations through.
Need some help. Devastated. I was with my girlfriend for 18mths. Moved in together after 10mths. We went on a trip overseas and it was hell. two months later she ended it. She was upset she did it and said she misses me and we kept seeing each other for about a month. Then told me its not happening. She’s fallen outta love. Hurts like hell. She said she did try in that month but its gone for her and that she can’t talk for awhile and needs space. Then, stupidly, I was bored and missing her about 2wks later and sent her text saying that if i was better to her we’d be doing something together right now. She got back to me the day after and wasn’t happy at all. Asked for me to stop contacting her and that she will never love me again. Ouch! I really want her back. Not sure what to do from here. How do i get her back?

This advice goes against every single natural inclination you have and it’s hard. You’ll want to answer the points she’s making and show her why she’s wrong. You’ll want to get a second chance or promise to fix your mistakes. You’ll keep pushing your points and think that since she’s not answering you right away; you’re getting through to her. You’re not. You’re just making her uncomfortable. All you’re doing is making yourself appear needy. She’s not going to forget this behavior down the line when you try to win her back.
It is funny how it works, and it works just the same with exes. Let your ex CHASE YOU back into a relationship, AFTER you’ve done Steps 1-7 of how to get your ex-girlfriend back. Your willingness to lay back and wait for HER to chase commitment out of YOU, instead of you chasing that out of her, will then signal TO her THE high mate value that will actually make her WANT to chase the commitment out of you!
me and my ex boyfriend recently broke up about a month ago. Currently I am trying the no contact rule, but it’s impossible for me not to see him due to the fact we attend the same workplace. Also we share the same close friends, so sometimes when out with friends he’s there and at parties, but we never speak at all during them. A few days after the break up, I wrote him a letter appolising and asking if we could be friends (I think this was a bad idea to do this and I got no reply or anything from him). Also I wrote in the letter that I was okay with his decision to break up, but I wasn’t. In a few weeks I want to try and contact him and speak as friends. I would prefer to do this via text as he ignores every call, and as soon as he sees me in person he gets as far away as possible. I just don’t know want to say to him after this no contact period, or how to get him to want to talk to me. Could you please help me or give me any advice at all. I would really really appreciate it and be really grateful.
One of the most devastating mistakes you can make is trying to force it to work with a guy who is wrong with you. I’ve seen people spend years of their life trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. Everyone in their life tells them to just move on and let him go but they can’t. Why? Because they don’t have clarity or any objectivity because they are still sucked into the emotional whirlpool and have yet to break themselves free.
My boyfriend left me 2 weeks ago ;( evrything was absolutely amazing and perfect. I love him and his little girl so much and i feel heartbroken. We had 8 mounths relationship in witch we lived together….I think i was a bit jelous of his ex, the mother of his daughter, witch i regret now ;( but is it too late? I think he loves me, despite when he left me he said he doesn’t want a relationship and he doesn’t love me the same way i do. Is it possible to tell me all this just to make me go away, or to protect me, or I really dunno….and that’s killing me…. I haven’t slept proparly, i haven’t eaten proparly, i hate my job ( and I think that was one of the reasons we start having problems, cause i was really moody ) and i just want him back. PLEASE, i need help, i am so confused and hurted. .. If anybody have any advice i am happy to listen
Make sure you are both open to change. If your primary goal is to protect yourself in the relationship from hurt and anger, you aren't open to change. Instead, you'll likely want to control your partner to enforce that protection, making your relationship negative and stagnant. On the other hand, if you're both willing to learn and grow together, your relationship can develop over time into something better. If only one of you is willing to change, it may not work.[24]
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