The woman who was in a similarly awful marriage was the sole support of her husband, who did not work. She also took care of his child by another marriage on weekends, when he was typically not home. He too was regularly unfaithful, occasionally violent, and vulgar, and insulting all the time. He rarely wished for sex, but demanded it when he felt in the mood. He routinely expressed contempt for his wife. She finally left him and entered into psychotherapy. A week later she told me she was thinking of going back to him. “I love him,” she said, by way of explanation. She only stopped considering returning to the marriage a few months later when she met someone else.
Take a deep breath and don’t panic. There are a lot of reasons why your ex may not be calling you back or return your texts or messages. No situation is completely hopeless as long as you’re still willing to make the effort. You need to focus on your own behavior and avoid some of the common pitfalls often associated with breakup scenarios and make sure you’re doing what you need to do when you need to do it.
I need advice. We met on match.com and only dated about 3 weeks but had a great connection from the very beginning. Plus we share a lot in common (we agree about a lot, graduated high school same year, kids are same age). But he broke it off because 1) we moved too fast (didn’t have sex but went further than we intended by date 2) and 2) we’re in different places in our lives – I’m going through a divorce and he’s been divorced for years. I’m devastated. We ended things amicably last week (I didn’t fight it, though I wanted to) and we haven’t been in contact. But he’s been back on match.com already. My question is, what are our chances for trying again in the future? Did moving too fast derail us completely?
A true apology should be structured as follows: regret, responsibility, and remedy. The first step indicates that you are sorry for what you've done. The second step puts the responsibility on you without making excuses or blaming someone else. The final step offers to make it right or change your behavior in the future.[15] For example: "I just wanted to apologize for when I blew you off all those times that you wanted to spend with me. You must've really felt neglected. I'm going to try really hard from now on, to make it a point to do more things with you so you won't feel like that again. I'm glad you gave me your point of view to realize that."
The woman who was in a similarly awful marriage was the sole support of her husband, who did not work. She also took care of his child by another marriage on weekends, when he was typically not home. He too was regularly unfaithful, occasionally violent, and vulgar, and insulting all the time. He rarely wished for sex, but demanded it when he felt in the mood. He routinely expressed contempt for his wife. She finally left him and entered into psychotherapy. A week later she told me she was thinking of going back to him. “I love him,” she said, by way of explanation. She only stopped considering returning to the marriage a few months later when she met someone else.
The amount of sex that a couple has will generally decrease over time, but if the sexual attraction, respect and love are deepened, the couple will still want to be intimate. Even if sex only happens once a week, the couple still feels good about it and wants to do it. Outside of sex, the couple will enjoy hugging, giving each other a kiss or lovingly looking into one another’s eyes for a second or two.
Plan, plan, plan. Fay suggests making an appointment, but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap or a "before-work quickie." Ask friends or family to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation," Fay says. Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun, too, she says. Why not have sex in the kitchen? Or by the fire? Or standing up in the hallway?
Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. However, I don’t like the phone for a lot of reasons. First off, it doesn’t give you time to think. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. Not to mention he still may be a little resentful about the break up.
all i’m seeing here is basically use your body to get to love. which is wrong and disgusting. why does every relationship have to revolve around sex and why does being “the night of his life” by being a freaking porn star determine if he’s gonna go back to you or not? if anyone does all of these, the guy is only gonna use you for sex, and basically, youre letting him.

my boyfriend and i broke up like 5 days ago . i still cant accept it. the reason he broke up with me is because he thought i was rushing things . we were only going out for 4 weeks. if i wanted to hold his hand he would consider that rushing ? i honestly think that is he thought i was “rushing” he could have had communtication with me and told me instead of breaking up . aside from that whole experiance , i felt like i didnt know him as well . we went from barly talking to going out in less than a week. we both liked eachother very much though. what im going to do is change myself. not only to get him back , but for all the other assh*les who dumped me. i wanna be that girl that walks passed them and their like dayuummm we should get back together . at the end of it all i just want him to know how lonley hes gunna feel without me by his side. i honestly thought he was gunna be my longest relationship (my longest relationship has been only a month). and also yesterday , i poured my heart out to him and wrote him a hugeeeeeee text . his response was “aww thanks thats sweet (: ” i dont think he actually took in all the emotion and feelings and time it took me to write all that. one thing i hate now is that i try to be mad at him and i cant. i have to see his face eveeeryday and it would hurt me alot. im gunna have to live with this . #girlsgetf*ckedovereasy

You have the attraction back by this point already from the previous steps, so most of what you need to do now is just get out of your own way, and let the getting-back-together process happen on its own. In other words, you need to know what mistakes to AVOID, to prevent yourself from sabotaging the getting-back-together process, which is supposed to happen fairly naturally after the first 7 steps.
Besides, even if he does get into a new relationship … you have to realize that all relationships are not created equal. Sometimes the easiest way to numb the pain of a previous relationship is to jump right into a new one. And in the case of a rebound, who knows what the outcome will be? These aren’t necessarily the most long-lasting relationships and there’s nothing to say that this isn’t an attempt to get your attention or be vindictive. Again, you don’t know and you can’t know and it’s a waste of time to try.
For real, change yourself for the better; let him see that and he'll want to be part of it. But you won't let him back into your world overnight – even if you really, really want to get him back, don't. You both need some time to appreciate each other for other things then sex. And when the sex does come, it better be mind-blowing. Then again, don't be clingy and don't call him every day after that – love all over again – instead, take your time. Let him think about you and worry a bit.
Trying to work through marital problems can be a daunting process, and you might not even know where to start. Every marriage is unique, so figure out the specific issues at the heart of your conflict. In order to find solutions, you and your spouse will need to communicate openly and constructively. Try to stay positive, and avoid blaming, stonewalling, and launching personal attacks at each other. Rebuilding your bond will take time, so have patience. A marriage counselor can help mend the gap, so don't feel embarrassed about reaching out to a professional.

I have a problem likes it… My boyfriend and I were together for 1 year and half. in fact from 6 months age our relationship became so complicated and it was my fault! last week he told me that he wants to be just friend…since next week he gonna go to another country, where he studies, and he won’t come back till 3 months I’m really confused about what should I do! :| So if you find any efficient way…tell me plZ!


So my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and 4 months. Honestly he was obsessed and so was I but i became too comfortable. He was my world and I never thought he would leave me. He would always chase after me and showering me with love and it made me the happiest person alive. One day he got tired of fighting with me and he dumped. told me he didnt want me anymore. I looked like a fool, i begged i cried i ran after him but he just walked away with his head up. it was so painfully. he blocked me on everything so i dont have contact but if i text him he will usually unblock to read my messages. it hurts so bad and as messed up as it is i still want him. I want him back so badly it kills.
Congratulations on taking the first steps to making your relationship great again! Read the reviews of the great products that saved my marriage. If you want, sign up for the free series of articles I’ve put together into an email package (the form is below) and you can read more by clicking here: Marriage Advice. I don’t spam, I just send the articles. People have thanked me many times over for that collection.  You will be inspired. Good luck!  – Ed
I was just diagnosed with this. (BPD) my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me because I pushed him away. I was so scared of the thought of losing him, I lost him. For 2 months he said “you’re driving me nuts. If you don’t stop blowing me up and checking up on me, we’re going to break up. Is contacting me now worth losing me for the rest of our lives?” He told me I made him do it and now says there will never be an “us” again. No more contacting him, social media efforts, and no talking to his friends again. He said if I didn’t leave him alone, he’d get a restraining order. I want him back so badly and don’t know what i can do to know that I’ve realized what I did wrong and can and will give him his space; though I’ve promised it several times before. I know he’s the one for me and its killing me knowing that everything could’ve been different if I would have just listened. I knew what to do…STOP. But my insecurities wouldn’t let me put down my phone and blow him up. Now I can’t contact him…I don’t know what to do.
You get the Save The Marriage System,  the bonus audios, a bonus set of rules for fair fighting, and a complete bonus ebook!  If I haven’t managed to convince you by now, it is time for me to give up! If this is not right for you, then please, move on. But, if you are really ready to take action, I can give you the tools you need! Please, take action and Save Your Marriage
Just imagine a scenario where you don’t want to talk to a person and they are sending you a text message every 5 minutes. Your inbox is filled with hundreds of messages by them, even though you haven’t replied to even one. And later on at night, that person gets drunk and calls you and start saying complete and utter non-sense. What would you think of that person? Would it make you want to start a new relationship with them?
This may put pressure on you and make you feel self-conscious, and it should. The fact is, you conquer a man's heart by conquering what's in his pants, like no other woman ever could. Everything after that is easier. Yet again, this night needs to be different than in the past. It should not remind you too much of the time you were together before, it needs to be better.

Out of the blue he just stopped talking to me. We go to the same school and there we usually talk but one day he started avoiding me and stopped texting me, too. A couple days later I found him before school and tried to ask him what was going on. He didn’t really answer. When I asked him if he still wanted to be together, all he did was shrugged. I was very upset at his response and just walked away.
while there were exchanges of hurtful words and gestures, he realized that it was about time he moved forward with his life, that what we’ve been doing is wrong and maybe he felt he wanted to start things right with somebody else. he said he’s starting to want to know this girl from the cheer team. though admittedly, he’ still stuck with his admiration, love and connection with me.
This will immediately trigger the same reactions in your ex-girlfriend that accepting the breakup from the beginning would have had. She’ll want to know exactly what triggered your change of heart and whether or not you’re getting on with your life. Your ex is counting on the chase, even if she’s not ready to restart a relationship with you. You’re reversing roles and making her want to chase you instead.
Following this advice helped me save my relationship. At the start I the break up I was messaging him a lot and begging to get back together. I looked stupid. After reading this I tried the no contact rule and focused on bettering myself and finding distractions when I felt the urge to talk to him. Just pretending to move on helped me feel a lot better about myself. We were later forced to work together and I kept my head up ignored him the best I could besides work relations and showed him that I can move on. Shortly after that he broke down to me about missing me and doing anything to have me back.
Since 1994 Marriage Dynamics Institute has been helping couples build stronger and happier marriages. Over 100,000 people have experienced our classes and workshops with proven, positive results. Marriage Dynamics Institute is committed to remaining a primary force in reducing the national divorce rate. Our area of expertise is with the unique dynamics that exist in a marriage between a man and a woman and our classes, trainings, and workshops are designed to help these engaged and married couples. We use the most up to date research available in combination with our extensive experience with couples to design classes and workshops that provide lasting solutions to real marital problems. We know how to make a real difference!
 With Kelly and Greg, it was Kelly who started the process. She found me on the internet , downloaded Save the Marriage and began the process of saving the marriage. . . by herself. Greg was still bent on a divorce, but Kelly still had hope. . . and took action. Fairly quickly, Greg was less insistent on the divorce, but still assumed it was their only option. Eventually, he agreed to spend that hour with me, in person. . . leaving their divorce attorneys waiting.
The dramatic turn around of our marriage is astounding. I decided to put together this site to share my experiences and the products I used that helped me so much. I’ve also collected an assortment of articles that make some interesting reading. But if you are serious about fixing your relationship, internet articles won’t do the trick. You absolutely must  invest the very small amount of money (about 1/3 of the cost of a first visit to a marriage counselor) to get proven, professional, expert advice that the products I recommend will give you. Your marriage is worth it. Don’t short change yourself.

Oh, no 🙁 I had a really absurd fight with the best BF I’ve ever had (which is not hard to do, I have dated some serious jerks) and I managed to get him back for a whole week and a half before we got snippy and he suddenly was breaking it off with me. The relationship was long-distance and he wants to be friends, but I just spent a week and a half more making an a** of myself. Is there any redemption? I don’t even know how to do this at a distance (I was going to move there, for the record) and after I was so weak. Argh D:
I love this article, I am definitely going to follow your advice. My only concern is that my ex might’ve done the 4wk no contact along with every thing else to me already. He now texts me everyday and he recently told me that he loves me and he misses me but hasn’t said he wants to get back together and he is talking to another girl. Should I still do this?

I’m in the exact same situation, I know he loves me, but he’s tierd of believing I would stop making problems out of everything, he tells me he has stopped believing he can love me, but that he really thinks he might stop thinking that after some time. This all happened in one week, I don’t believe he has stopped loving me, all the times he told me never to doubt his love, it can’t end like this. For now I’m going to give him time, not talk to him.. But I don’t know how to let him know I have changed and that we can truly bé together without any troubles and fusses. What happened with you Anabelle, have you solved it? I really need help

I learned by my girlfriend’s friend that she fell in love with another guy. It’s the middle of summer so I can’t see her or talk to her since she doesn’t have her phone(even when she had it she didn’t answer). I truly love her and need some help with this, not to be weak but because I love her, and I fear that she might go out with that guy if she breaks up with me. Is there a way for me to make her have feelings for me again? A way for not to break up with me?


So me and my ex fiance are no talking terms right now.. she left me a month ago and still wears the necklace I bought her and she wont give me the ring back because she says I bought it for her so its hers. I dont like to feel weak but I want her back and its super hard to not see or talk to her. She says im scum to her but then again she still has pictures of me and notes I sent her. Im at a loss right now what should I do to get her back
If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says "I'm no longer in love with you"), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other's eyes and then answer personal questions (like "What is your biggest fear?" and "What is your best memory from childhood?"). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex's eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.[12]
My ex broke up with me about two weeks ago. He says he was tied of arguing. He was saying another girl a couple times but they are no longer talking. He always text me calls me and wants me to hang out with him or stay the night at my place. He text me when I’m at work with xoxo and always says he loves me and is more affectionate toward me now then when we were together. But he still says he dosn’t want a girlfriend right now I’m confused.
honestly I did not show appreciation to my ex while we together. I missed valentines day and his birthday. when I decided to make the best of times with him it was to late. then I asked him for closure and he came talked in person. I told what if I got therapy because there is something going on that effects my relationships. he told its been three weeks and I’m over you….. I cried of course then looked at him and said I feel better. just got sick of being sad, doesn’t mean I’m over him. but its step. then I told me what was really going on and told he’s proud of me said I’m strong person and good girl. he told me to feel free to talk to him and said he wont be jerk to me. he also wants to improve. it sucks that I was to occupied with other stuff in life that i didn’t learn to understand him but oh well. that doesn’t mean has feelings for me. sadly I cant live in world that revolves around him I must create my own world and keeping living up to my goals. this relationship may have been painful but helped realize what I need. we are blind from pain because only look at the bad qualities that it brings us but we all need realize its actually beautiful because it shapes us. I’m going to embrace it this break up..
lord I begg you to come into my life and I’m a situation it seems like the more I get closer to you I’m getting the more more the devil is trying to attack me I asked you to review him in the name of Jesus I rebuke him coming into my relationship and strengthen lord bring back the love we use to share let him realize how much I love him and everything i do is to help us as a family father god i ask that you work and his heart the let him see I’m how I’ve improve as a good person im working on bring my family closer to you please Jesus help us have take trust issue I need to the to be restored so we can be happy again with each other in Jesus name Amen
Yes, life is hectic. Between work, home-life and keeping track of your child's social calendar, sometimes it's so much easier to crash on the couch and watch TV while your husband drinks beers out back. But don't do this, advises Leah Klungness, Ph.D., a psychologist in New York. Falling into a dateless marriage can put a damper on the roles you play to each other – husband and wife. "If you still make time for 'couple time' without the kids, you're on to something. "Maybe glamorous restaurants aren't quite in the budget, but planning activities minus the kids means you want to connect – just the two of you. This is great."
Lauren I broke up with my gf of like 3 yrs with the exact same thing she said she need time to think she didn’t know what she wanted.Clearly I wasn’t making her happy,this was about a month ago I’ve met her once for coffee and I can hardly remember her laughing more.I think I still have a chance,I recently lost my job too so this really doesn’t help.I can’t get her out of my head I am constantly thinking about her.We do talk but I don’t think I can leave her alone as much as I she does with me.
Do something nice for her without expecting her to pay you back. If she's studying late for an exam, pop by with her favorite tea or coffee and let her know that you know she's going to kill it tomorrow. If one of her friends gets in an accident, stop by and pay your respects (the friend will definitely let your ex know you stopped by). If your ex mentions she wanted to see a movie, buy her two tickets for her and her friend to see, and don't butt in. Your time will come soon.
Lauren I broke up with my gf of like 3 yrs with the exact same thing she said she need time to think she didn’t know what she wanted.Clearly I wasn’t making her happy,this was about a month ago I’ve met her once for coffee and I can hardly remember her laughing more.I think I still have a chance,I recently lost my job too so this really doesn’t help.I can’t get her out of my head I am constantly thinking about her.We do talk but I don’t think I can leave her alone as much as I she does with me.
While the normal methods for rekindling a relationship with your ex may not be successful in the case of infidelity, there are other methods that will. Your ex not only feels betrayed and hurt but she feels insecure about herself and her position as well. This situation doesn’t have to mean the end of the road. In some ways it can be easier to regain your relationship after an affair than if your breakup happened for another reason – her feelings for you never changed. She’s just too upset to recognize that they’re still there in the heat of the moment.
Hey, my name is Anissa Johnson. I’m only 13, but I have someone that I really love, but he broke up with me because I was disrespectful. He broke up with me last week and its hard. But I’m going try all these steps I hope it work. Excepted one thing he’s making me jealous so I really don’t know what to. I hope these steps work because we were supposed to plan stuff in the future and live our lives together so going use all the step and see what happens
I dated my girlfriend for 8yrs. We broke up one year ago but kept trying to get back together. She just officially dumped me a couple of weeks ago. Her reasons were that I took too long to change my ways and that she didn’t know what she wanted right now. I still keep trying to show her that I love her more than anything. All she does all day long is work and go to college classes. I feel that there is still a small chance that it will work between us. Our past fights were always about my job, I was insensitive, too much partying, not paying attention to her needs and that she wanted me to better myself. Her birthday is coming up and I bought her a gift. Is that bad? I don’t know what I should do. I really need some help. I love this girl and I don’t want almost nine years to go down the toilet. I did change my ways by the way. I’m also applying for a good job. Hopefully I get it. We lived together and now I live with my sister for the time being. So I say again what advise do u give me.
Me and my girlfriend been together for 14 months. We almost had an baby. But the baby died. After 3 weeks she started to act different. I called her horrible names like 6 different occasions. Now I text her she doesn’t even text me back. I call her shell call me a couple hours later. I love her so much. I text her in the morning that I apologize. Saying nice sweet stuff. Then when I wanna break up with her. She gets so mad at me. She don’t even wanna see me like that. It hurts me so bad. What should I do.
Are you ready to hear what you least want to deal with? When you try to address an issue and, as noted above, it isn’t the real issue, it can feel like you’ve been hit with a ton of bricks when the real issue does emerge. For example, a husband or a wife engages in lots of activities away from home. You, as the spouse left at home, believe the problem is your mate doesn’t spend enough time with you and is inconsiderate. And that may very well be true. Sometimes we spread ourselves too thin making commitments to others, and our marriages get neglected as a result. But, there could be another reason. Are you ready to hear that why your spouse is gone so much may be because of you? Do you criticize rather than complain? Which do you find easier to say: “You never spend time with me,” or “We don’t spend time together like we used to.” It doesn’t take much to turn a complaint about something into a criticism of someone. In fact, it is one of the easiest things to do. It can happen unconsciously, and easily become habitual. One result is that the person criticized may start distancing him-/herself from the critic. Now this is only one example of what a real, hidden issue might be. Yours may be different. (In my case, both of us contributed to the real problem, though at the time we thought the other was the problem.) Realizing that you may be the cause of your marital problems can be gut-wrenching. Are you ready to face that possibility?

It’s easy to get your girlfriend back, win her over, make her fall in love with you! But are you ready to become her “slave”? Will you be the man, of whom his friends say that he has no spine? Of course, if you have any self-respect you will never agree to such a trade. This is why we came up with the system of “Ways To Influence a Woman”. And you have a chance of getting it absolutely free!


My ex and I broke up a few months ago, I cheated on him, he pretended to forgive me and then he moved on to someone else and then I went through all stages of crazy. Begged him to take me back, spoke to the new girl and told her all the reasons he wasn’t right for her and then he decided to break up with me for real. Claimed what he had with her was ephemeral but I ruined his reputation when I spoke to her. I tried the no contact, did it for 9 days, then I panicked and begged him to take me back, of course he said no, there’s someone else. Then after that time, we met up a few times and had sexually related stuffs…no penetrative sex. Then I decided to restart the no contact. Intend to start tomorrow, unfortunately we are classmates. Yesterday I tried to get him jealous by telling him I met a more handsome guy. He told me many reasons why this guy isn’t right for me. Anyways I am scared that if we continue this way, I’m going to be friend zoned so much that we won’t have any chances again. I don’t want to block him over whatsapp because then he will probably block me too and feel I’ve moved on with this other guy. But it’s quite difficult doing no contact when he is constantly trying to communicate and also, I’m from Nigeria. Virginity means alot to guys here. He was my first and unfortunately the new girl he’s with now is also a virgin and very hot
Come up with a list together. While discussing your relationship, work on a list together. Figure out what you both think the problems are in your relationship, and discuss how it started. It may be hard to have an open discussion, but it's important to get both of your points of view on where the relationship went wrong. In addition, you can use help from educational websites to help identify what's healthy about your relationship and what's not.[7]
This was 4 mouths ago. Then we saw us again had dinner, he was absolutly crazy about me but he was also pretty clear saying that he loving is new life and wants to stay single for some years.lol So when we were in the car i convince him to do it one last time. He was all ” thats not correct we still have feelings and i know what i want” we did it and it was more incredible. After that he writes me saying im amazing and he wants to do it again..
We explained earlier how keeping your emotions in check is critical to making this period of no contact work. I know how easy it is to backslide and fall into our familiar patterns. This isn’t just the case with relationships either. Just think about how it normally goes for you when you’re starting anything new: a new low-carb diet, a new bedtime, mediation, a new workout routine, etc.
Stop, breathe, and relax instead of yelling. No matter how frustrated you are with your spouse, do your very best to control your temper. In order to save your marriage, you and your spouse both need to keep your emotions in check. Inhale slowly, close your eyes, count, and remind yourself that you’ll only solve your problems with mutual respect.[7]
Dear God, i know you know me who i am, i just want to say thank you for everything even im on the trials and suffering now to my boyfriend hopefully everything will be okay,God can ask you a favor i hope even his a muslim and im a christian, i hope his accept me as i am, then you make our relationship Good always his have no time na for me God but i hope you touch his heart and mind to remember me always and belong to his life everyday God bring our relation uncomplicated, i love him so much God you know what i have feel to him. God im just hoping his like before when we know each other. i need his care and love God i need your guidance everyday my heart so weak because i always mind him i hope God you touch him heart always to remember me love me and miss me always. i love you Jesus thank you for everything i expect your miracle to our relationship. Amen!!!
Sometimes the break up is so unique or troubling or complex, that it requires some specialized coaching.  Or sometimes, people do better if they can talk to someone who is an expert at helping folks with their relationship troubles.  Well, if you fall into that category, then you are in luck.  All you need to do is reach out to me (i.e. click Coaching Services in my website’s Menu Section) and I am sure we can work out something!
my boyfriend nd I were deeply in love till I met some girls who liked to go out…smoke nd drink a lot ..I spent most of my time with them than my boyfriend…everything changed after that until I met one guy from the party then dated him..I loved him so much because he was good !!..but he didn’t love me because we broke up nd I now regret why I chose him over my previous boyfriend…I want my boyfriend back..what can I do now
I’d been having pretty hard time at work and school for the last year and was very stressed and clingy. But now I’ve sorted all that out and am feeling like the person I used to be in 2011. Since the breakup I’ve felt like I was going off the rails going on dates and doing activities and just anything to try to make me feel better (this is both when I was and was not talking to him). None of it makes me feel better, I cant stop thinking about him because he feels like my other half.
what if he doesnt want to b with u..??what if u r ready to forgive him for his every faults even ready to say sorry infinite times without my fault but he is not ready to feel regret for anything he did with me to hurt me…what if u want him for whole ur life but he doesnt ready to listen ur voice ….what if u wana do everything anything for him but he hate ur every action and ur feelings……???
Dated my girl for 6 years and left her to go become a dive instructor on a island. I was gone 2 years but Came back 3 times and instantly back in the sack. I would crew boats back to the states and find a excuse to see her. Last time was normal I came by and we took a couple weekend trips and had sex and exchanged I love yous. Now 3 weeks went by and I came back down to start our relationship back up and within 10 minutes of her picking me up from the airport she tells me she’s seeing someone. I played it cool and when we got back to our old condo she told me I’d have to sleep in the guest room. Still played it cool. A little griping and OK good night. Played it cool for two days and told her I was back to get back together. Trying to explain you told me you loved me three weeks ago and didn’t want me to leave now I can’t sleep in the same room. I’ve been nice and not making myself look needy or desperate and got some nice smiles and laughs. Now tonight I sit to talk after she got home from work and she’s really resisting. Not cold but I tried to get I love you out of her and can’t. Fucking three weeks come on. Still sleeping on the guest bed tonight. I’m here for the rest of the week then going back up near Chi. to do a job for some cash I then wanted to move back in with her. She’s telling me to go up and see how I feel about her after the two month job. But I think she is just trying to make the rest of the week more bearable My birthday is in a couple days and part of the reason I came here was to spent it with her. thought that would give me a nice advantage if anything did go weird. It’s not working. starting to feel really bummed and discouraged. She’s been saying she’s working late and starting to think she’s going to see the boyfriend after work. When she told me she was seeing someone she told me he was out of town this week and would be back this weekend. I can’t believe that this girl I loved so much for so many years would welcome me back three weeks ago but wont now or return a I love you.
He ended things.. This is a guy who comes back to me and has my number for 5 years. And we were so intimate and shared our past. He said didn’t want to play games this time. He came 4 hrs back and forth to spend time with me. Pursues me. Why? What does he want? Why travel in total 8 hrs to come have sex with me? He like a egotistical narcissistic unemotional prick. Please advice.. Btw I never responded to his message. I left things.
Just imagine a scenario where you don’t want to talk to a person and they are sending you a text message every 5 minutes. Your inbox is filled with hundreds of messages by them, even though you haven’t replied to even one. And later on at night, that person gets drunk and calls you and start saying complete and utter non-sense. What would you think of that person? Would it make you want to start a new relationship with them?
As common knowledge goes, you cannot make a person have certain feelings for you. However, you can encourage them to feel a certain way through reminders, thoughts, gestures and messages, so there might be some ways to help your ex think about the good things the two of you shared together. For more details on how this might be possible, read How to Make Your Ex Miss You.
The common thread that underlies these seven deadly sins is neediness. Neediness is the state of mind that encourages all the above actions. Believing that your ex is the source of your happiness, sense of well-being and/or self-esteem, is the type of thinking that will have you groveling and begging for your ex. Neediness is a state of mind more than a set of behaviors, it just manifests itself in certain actions. It’s a feeling that says: “I need you to respond to me in a certain way in order to feel OK.” (Make sure to read this article for more on neediness and how to prevent it.)
I’d been having pretty hard time at work and school for the last year and was very stressed and clingy. But now I’ve sorted all that out and am feeling like the person I used to be in 2011. Since the breakup I’ve felt like I was going off the rails going on dates and doing activities and just anything to try to make me feel better (this is both when I was and was not talking to him). None of it makes me feel better, I cant stop thinking about him because he feels like my other half.
I enjoyed reading your above article and while most of it is useful to me, my situation is a little more complex. The ex that I want back isn’t a recent ex. we broke up in high school. Well I say broke up but more like I just ignored him (give me a break I was 16). He didnt treat me bad and neither of us cheated on each other. He was my first real boyfriend and I realized that this could be way more then I was emotionally prepared for. After high school I emailed him apologizing for my stupid behavior and immaturity but he didn’t reply. Karma at its finest! I told myself then that ‘well I trided, move on’ Recently while reading another article he came into mind and hasn’t left. He has consumed my brain. He lives on the other side of the country and has a girlfriend (I can add Facebook stalker to my resume now) I know I hurt him but I feel like we have “unfinished business”. How do I get his attention again?How do I make him want to contact me even if it is to tell me to go pound sand?
NOTE: YOUR mate value/perceived superiority is as high as your behavior makes it, and is only partially related to your job, income, looks etc. This is why no guy reading this has any excuse for not being able to become the kind of guy his ex wants for a relationship. You CAN become that guy (again), and I’m happy to teach you how. Begin the process with my chances of getting your ex back quiz. Your results page will then guide you further from there on what to do to get this girl back.
This is a great article. Thank you. It made me feel a lot better. I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago, we have been together 2 years and we had lovely time, we were so nice to each other and he was really loves me ,respect me so much also we were planning to get marry, but the think is he didnt have job and house beacuse he used live hotel and he was waiting house and he didnt get and he still waiting,than one day we had lunch together and good time than he said ido not want relastionship any more which he taxt me and i asked him why and he said need to be single,and he said i am not leaving beacuse anather girl i just want be single that is all i want he said. i let him go, but we atill friend and contact each other. i still love him so much beacuse it is hard to forget someome who loves you give so my much respect while we were together,
The relationship is going really well in the beginning. You are seeing each other often and enjoy one another. You begin to prioritize him over other things going on in your life, like hobbies or nights out with friends. You tell yourself you are comfortable and don’t need to be “out there.” Everything is just the way you like it until … for some reason, you feel him pulling away.
Often the problems that are truly unmanageable occur when both partners have opposing interests. Here are some examples: one person tries to dominate the other, one person wishes to leave the home whenever he/she chooses, one person reserves the right to see friends all during the week, one person is a philanderer, one person assigns work to the other, one person refuses responsibility for a child, one person begrudges spending money on the other or on the family. Naturally, the other spouse will resent being dominated, or ignored, or taken advantage of. These problems cannot be resolved just by understanding the other better. These are examples of one person putting himself/herself first. When a couple has opposing interests, the problems they develop are likely to prove intractable.
Some of these problems include conflicts about who does what about the house or who decides what to do on a particular weekend.  Other problems dissolve when it is understood– however long it takes to make the other person understand– just how strongly that person feels about certain matters. Examples of these solvable problems are: how much time one person spends at work or away from the other, which chores are really very difficult for the other person, how much sex they should have, how to handle disobedient children, how to spend money as investments or on vacation, how messy or clean the house should be, who does the cleaning, how to deal with fears of one sort or another. One spouse is not made weaker by considering what the other needs or wants.
You can’t just dive back into the relationship and expect everything to be different this time around. You broke up for a reason, probably several reasons, and those reasons will still be there unless properly dealt with. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results, that’s just insane (literally, I think that’s the actual definition of insanity).

You have to make sure your ex boyfriend to start contact with you – but keep a balance. It is important to don’t avoid or ignore your ex boyfriend as these are ill feelings. Always try to look cheerful as you came out of breakup and enjoying your life. Allow your ex boyfriend to leave the conversation and let him do most of the work while conversing with you. Think about living with a female roommate.
I was insecurebecause usually he’ll call me on lunch time then became like I haven’t got any calls till come home late at night such as 2 a.m. then I get frustrated and let him sleep out in the carthen I get emotional and let him in the house then I just felt like I wasn’t his girlfriend.it was a Friday night he was supposed to come from normal time and bring dinner to he didn’t come the next day so I went to work came home and all his clothes where gone no calls are text message from him.. I had complain a lot.. what should I do to get b him back to love we again.. I’m going to do the no contact b rule ima follow those steps and see how it goes
yo im going through the exact same thing right now. the girl of my dreams and i were together for 9 months. i had been friends with her for about a year before. then we ended up together. the nine months was great. absolutely amazing. sure it had its moments, but every relationship does. then i fell into that comfort zone, where i didnt realize how bad of a boyfriend i was being because i was working all the time and i would be exhausted, and she tuned me out because of it. we just broke up 2 1/2 weeks ago and were still talking but, she seeing another dude, who was a shoulder to cry on when she thought that i didnt love her anymore. we had a place together and i moved into my boys extra room. now she doesnt want to stay there by herself so she may move in with him. weve talked and she seems like the breakup isnt what she wanted but, she also seems like she likes the new guy somewhat if shes willing to move into his house right after we broke up. but i can tell that she does still love me, and i want my fuckin girl back. she has until the 1st of january to decide if shes gonna move. i dont know what to do. i feel like if she does move into his house, it’ll be too late for us to try in the future. what can i do to convince her not to move into this douchebox’s house?
My boyfriend and I have not spoken in a week and a half. He has depression and gets upset easily. I really love him and I still have hope for our relationship. Please Saint Jude cure us both of all the pain we are facing and touch his heart. I really want him to realize how much I love him and how I help and support him. Please that he can see that all I want to do is to help him heal. Please that he calls me soon and that we are able to improve our relationship. Help him heal and understand. Please that we can talk soon and that it is peaceful. Please I love him. Thank you Saint Jude.
I wana try this,it’s just that i’m not sure if it’s gonna work because my ex broke up with me for the fact that he wanted to live for God and that all the dating and the sex will no longer be right,i tried telling him how much i love him but he is just so stubborn,he just suddenly changed,it was not like we weren’t happy,he just came up with it and that was it,we broke up.
If you’re really worried that your ex is going to get into a new relationship, or you know he’s in one and you want to find out whether it’s real or not, this article will give you the signs that his new relationship is a rebound. That way, you can get a definitive answer to the question, “Is he in a rebound relationship?” and move on with putting the no contact rule to work for you.
Because 3 or more, “yeses” at this point make it abundantly clear to me that here we have a Category A (lost attraction) situation. That means this article has done its job, and you’re now ready to move on to the next stage, which is to take the quiz. It only takes a couple minutes, and once your quiz results come through, I will then have customized advice waiting for you on the next page. Please go take the quiz now.
I kept thinking that she was crazy, and she was convinced that I was stupid. I was walking on eggshells because she was just so prickly. We never had sex anymore and we didn’t agree on anything. Technically we were living in a sexless marriage. Many of our fights (over little things) ended with one of us casually suggesting that divorce might be the answer. It hurt. When I thought of divorce, and the end of my family, I thought, How did we get to this? (Stopping the Fighting is the FIRST thing you need to do as I talk about in my article How to Fix a Broken Marriage)
He broke up with me last Monday after 1 year and 3 months, for me it was the happiest time of my life and we never fought and had a happy and loving relationship. Reading this has really helped me as I’m going into my second week of NC tomorrow. I genuinely think we both needed a break but I’m not going to sit here and believe that we’re gonna get back together I’m just going to do my 4 Week Detox, then go from there. Wish me luck . X
It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.
So my ex gf broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. She told me she just didn’t feel that way about me anymore. Her friend said I wasn’t trusting enough and a little to controlling. We were together for almost 2 years and we were both madly in love. She has another guy she hangs out with but i know she didn’t leave me for him. We can have a normal conversation. She’s even started it once or twice via text. How can I get her back. I love her more then I ever thought I could
For example:- Things were all OK before. One day you ended up talking to your ex in a casual manner. You did not have anything in mind which was bad. It was a casual conversation let it be a text or a call. Let it be after many years or months. From that day your partner started behaving weirdly. Even after telling you everything was fine. In this situation, your partner acted in a way where everything seems to be fine. But that was not the case. He/she felt bad when you talked to your Ex and trust issues built up. So try to get deep into the problem of What Went Wrong. Some things might be right from your side but not your partner's side.

So a perceived ability to attract other women is a GOOD thing when it comes to how to get your ex-girlfriend back, because it boosts your mate value in your ex’s mind. The key word there is “perceived”. Perceived ability to attract other women. You don’t have to actually be able to attract lots of new women, you just have to get your ex THINKING that you could.


please help me out. my ex broke up with with because she said she was tired of the relationship. i met another lady and we are dating. My ex girl who was in the states has now come back to the country and wants us to trash our differences and make up. but am in another relationship and i love this new girl. However, seeing my ex girl again brought back memories and the love i had for her but scared she will be stubborn again. i dont know who should i continue my life with since my current girl has done nothing to me and also loves me
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