When negative things happen, avoid being critical or contemptuous. Don’t say things that begin with “You never…,” “You always…,” or (my favorite) “You’re such a…” Calmly explain why you see the situation, not the spouse, as negative, and why it upsets you. In the ensuing conversation don’t get defensive, but don’t refuse to talk, either. Inject a little positivity into the conversation or argument. For example, try a little humor to lighten up the situation a bit, if you think your spouse would be receptive. If the humor backfires, simply be honest and explain that you want to diffuse the tension and you really don’t want to fight.
The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own.
With Kelly and Greg, it was Kelly who started the process. She found me on the internet , downloaded Save the Marriage and began the process of saving the marriage. . . by herself. Greg was still bent on a divorce, but Kelly still had hope. . . and took action. Fairly quickly, Greg was less insistent on the divorce, but still assumed it was their only option. Eventually, he agreed to spend that hour with me, in person. . . leaving their divorce attorneys waiting.
When I started dating my boyfriend we both fell hard and fast, I quickly learned that he was very insecure and could not be alone. He was drinking a lot and one day he would be the best person I could ever ask for and the next he would say horrible things to tear away at my self esteem. I started looking for job opportunities to move close to him, when that finally worked out I learned that he had been seeing someone else behind my back. I have tried to move on and date others but each time they want to get close I just couldn’t, I would feel as though I am cheating and then realize that I really don’t want someone else in my life, if he finds out that someone has an interest in me he makes accusations of me moving on and not caring about him. He will text me during the day when I know that the other guy is at work but as soon as it is the end of the work day he will no longer reply. It’s like he wants to live his life with someone else but also make certain that I am still there and committed to him. He will make accusations that he knows I’m seeing someone else or that I’m sleeping around when I’m not, I don’t know if that’s him just trying to feel good about the choices he has made to do just that. I can’t let go of the many words of encouragement that he has given me even with all of the hurtful ones he has made. It’s so hard to just quit loving someone that I have loved more than anyone. I’m reaching out trying to make friends in my new home but I can’t stop thinking about him all day every day. I wish I knew how to get him to feel what he felt when we first met, to see how I have always been there and committed to him. Whenever he needs help I am always there and I feel if I say no then he would have no need to stay connected with me and I just don’t want to lose him.
He ended things.. This is a guy who comes back to me and has my number for 5 years. And we were so intimate and shared our past. He said didn’t want to play games this time. He came 4 hrs back and forth to spend time with me. Pursues me. Why? What does he want? Why travel in total 8 hrs to come have sex with me? He like a egotistical narcissistic unemotional prick. Please advice.. Btw I never responded to his message. I left things.
Breakup is hard as it is, especially if you are still obsessing over your ex and wondering all the time whether or not they miss you. On top of that, if your ex starts dating someone else, it’s almost feels like someone punched you really hard in your stomach (while wearing a wolverine claw). Nothing can prepare you for this feeling. But it happens. And no, it’s nothing to worry about.
You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.