One of the most devastating mistakes you can make is trying to force it to work with a guy who is wrong with you. I’ve seen people spend years of their life trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. Everyone in their life tells them to just move on and let him go but they can’t. Why? Because they don’t have clarity or any objectivity because they are still sucked into the emotional whirlpool and have yet to break themselves free.

My ex and I broke up a few months ago, I cheated on him, he pretended to forgive me and then he moved on to someone else and then I went through all stages of crazy. Begged him to take me back, spoke to the new girl and told her all the reasons he wasn’t right for her and then he decided to break up with me for real. Claimed what he had with her was ephemeral but I ruined his reputation when I spoke to her. I tried the no contact, did it for 9 days, then I panicked and begged him to take me back, of course he said no, there’s someone else. Then after that time, we met up a few times and had sexually related stuffs…no penetrative sex. Then I decided to restart the no contact. Intend to start tomorrow, unfortunately we are classmates. Yesterday I tried to get him jealous by telling him I met a more handsome guy. He told me many reasons why this guy isn’t right for me. Anyways I am scared that if we continue this way, I’m going to be friend zoned so much that we won’t have any chances again. I don’t want to block him over whatsapp because then he will probably block me too and feel I’ve moved on with this other guy. But it’s quite difficult doing no contact when he is constantly trying to communicate and also, I’m from Nigeria. Virginity means alot to guys here. He was my first and unfortunately the new girl he’s with now is also a virgin and very hot

My story illustrates the power of working on yourself, of being your best self, of being in a happy, settled place before you enter into a relationship. The reason my husband doesn’t know what shifted is that it wasn’t a tangible thing. It was my vibe and my energy. I changed a lot from the beginning of the summer to the end, I did a lot of important inner work and I genuinely loved myself and was happy with my life. That’s the kind of energy that draws people in. That’s what makes people see you in a different light.
Lee Baucom’s Save the Marriage package of materials is a good starting point, as is John Gottman’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Baucom does a great job in showing you how to get a different perspective on all aspects of your marriage (and even on perspectives themselves). Gottman describes the dynamic happily married couples have that keep the negative feelings they have for one another from overwhelming their positive feelings. The book includes short tests and exercises designed to help you understand that dynamic, and to get it for your marriage.

it has been difficult at times to accept the fact from him that his father would never be ready to accept our relationship. in other words, i am scared to fall apart without him. although i neglect the fact that i am not much attached to him. but all these words are utterly false whereas i am deeply in love with him and fail to imagine my life without him. Father,my lord,its true i have never longed for him and now the situation is when i don’t want to abandon him. i love him. i really love him and want to hold him closer to me for ever and ever after.

If your partner is staying out late more often, and showing less interest in family and spending time together, that may be an indication that they are either unhappy with the situation at home. It may also be that they’re preparing mentally for life apart, building a social life or possibly even dating. Hopefully that’s not the case, and don’t prematurely accuse your spouse of this just because they’re home less often, but it is a possibility.
Because this system is only offered in an electronic, downloadable format, you can begin your journey of marital happiness and fulfillment immediately. . . even if it’s 2 AM in the morning! Plus, you never have to worry about facing the lady at the register in the book store. Your purchase is in total privacy and your personal copy of this powerful system will be downloaded to your computer in less than 2 minutes!

Ah so you had a sneaking suspicion but were proven wrong. This is bad for you for a couple of reasons. First off, your boyfriend surely will feel worried about incurring your wrath whenever they want to do something. Secondly, it makes your ex feel like you never trusted them. Luckily, you can work on this and prove to him that you are no longer the person who suspects him every time he goes out (without you.)


If your ex believes that you’re capable of attracting other women to the point that you could replace her, that will only INCREASE her perception of your mate value, and attract her back. Why? Because there is no greater sign of high mate value in the eyes of a woman, than a man’s perceived ability to attract OTHER women. And what is it that attracts women, even exes? Signs of high mate value.
Me and boyfriend have been together for 4 years and we broke up for 4 months last year because I said I would change about my moodiness and I didnt, I didn’t put as much work in as I should of then I got back together with him in June. We have been fine no arguments nothing, until December when I was feeling down and stressed with uni and I was ill with severe iron deficiency but no doctors would listen to me so I have been really stressed and upset and continued to January and I didn’t realise how it was making him feel. Recently we had an argument because I was so low and upset with everything as it was all going wrong I just wanted to know he was there, so was a little needy. I upset him by saying he didn’t care but apologised by getting him a card as I was truly sorry and didn’t mean to hurt him. He has now broke up with me after I said I will change and be myself now I have been treated and we can have fun, I have taken this more serious wrote down my thoughts, his thoughts and how I can change for the better and I am certain I am going to change and want to change. I have asked him for one more chance and he says he doesn’t believe I will change. Do you think there is time and he will regret his decision, I love him so much and I can see a future with him
I’m in the same exact boat as you. My ex and I were together almost 4 months, we were amazing together till he started working again. Then we were fighting all the time. He accused me of cheating when I would’ve never have even thought to do that. I love him with all my heart. We’ve been broke up 2 weeks and more drama happened and now I don’t even know if I’ll ever have him back. Because before all the drama happened on Saturday he told his friend he was going to take me back in a week or two, he just needed more time. I love him with all my heart. I had to start the NC over again, so I’m only on day 7. Did any of this work for you? I’m scared and hurt, can’t help but have hope though. Only thing making me feel partially okay
Until recently , I contact him again hoping to win him back another time(for godsake I dunno why after all the scolding from him to me and disrespecting me).Thinking I have grow to be more confident.Sadly, I made the mistake again falling in the booty call. I regret so much. What should I do? I keep choosing him over and over again. Although he said he dont want my love .Yet I keep going back to him.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about five years. In December we got into an argument because I thought he was ignoring my plans I had with my family. We normally see family together during the holidays so I expected him to be on point. Anyway, I was about to leave and asked him what’s on his agenda and he just ignored me. I got mad and cursed him out and left. Days after I text to find out why he was ignoring me and he did not reply. Some time passed and he then said we need some space because I constantly curse him out and he is tired of it. He said that I am jealous and insecure which is a recurring theme in our arguments. Weeks passed and we just cordial over the phone. I tried not to be clingy because he said that we have to learn to be friends and give each other space in order to try and repair the relationship. He visited me in January and we talked somewhat and ended up sleeping together. We were cordial for a couple days and he kept saying how much he loves me and wants to have a family with me. I then asked if that means that we are back together and he said we never broke up but we still need space. Some time passed and we kept sending each other messages and stuff. I really missed him and asked when are we going to be out of this phase and he said as long as it takes for me to fix my ways. I told him that he has things to work on too. He said he knows he is not perfect but we keep fighting over the same things and he is tired of it. Recently he came to see me and brought an unexpected gift. I thought he was going to stay but he did not. I wanted him so badly that I slept with him. A few days after I asked about seeing him for Valentines Day and he said “why did we break up again?” I said “You said we were not broken up” He said that we still need space. I said I was confused because he keeps sending me messages about missing me and wanting to be with me and we are intimate but yet we are “just friends for now”. Mind you, when we text it is not about anything sexual. If he sees where a conversation is headed that way he stops it. Now we got into a huge fight over the phone because I said I do not know what he wants from me and I am fed up of waiting. He said talking to me is pointless because I do not get where he is coming from. I told him that he does not get where I am coming from either and I will just leave him alone. He said that he does not give a f#$% and that I should do what I want to because he is not getting through to me. I try to understand him honestly I do but I do not think he sees it. I love him with all my heart but I fear this is it for us. Sigh. Any advice?
This may put pressure on you and make you feel self-conscious, and it should. The fact is, you conquer a man's heart by conquering what's in his pants, like no other woman ever could. Everything after that is easier. Yet again, this night needs to be different than in the past. It should not remind you too much of the time you were together before, it needs to be better.
There are some who think that marriage is inviolable. Different religions may forbid or discourage divorce. It was thought once that the public interest demanded that divorce be made difficult, so that children would not be left homeless. In New York State, divorce was only possible in the context of infidelity, and so men and women would routinely perjure themselves and defame themselves in order to get a divorce. But it is not that way in New York anymore; and divorce has generally become more acceptable. But divorce, like any other serious relationship, is rarely ended without emotional distress.
You need to make him feel terrible for breaking up with you. He should feel like a dumbass for letting you go. That's what you need to make him feel like if you want to get him back. You won't get him back by spying and stalking him (stop checking his Facebook every 2 minutes), but by making him remember all the great times you had together, and making him imagine how nicer life could be if you were still together.

The fact that you feel broken and dead inside without him isn’t going to make him say, “Well, in that case, we need to get back together immediately!” There is nothing sexy about that. All you will do is make him feel guilty, or you’ll make him go cold and withdraw from you because men don’t like feeling like the bad guy and he might completely emotionally detach himself from the situation.


I ask you God to please bless me and my kids father’s relationship to be stronger and for him to not leave me and go off to another female or move our if our place together. Please God of I didn’t need you more then any time in my life I need you now .I promise I will not do anything to unsure are relationship I promise I keep my word please God please bless me through our kids please I need you right now God more then anytime time in my life save my relationship with my kids father and make it healthy please In the name of Jesus we do pray AMEN thank God
I was just diagnosed with this. (BPD) my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me because I pushed him away. I was so scared of the thought of losing him, I lost him. For 2 months he said “you’re driving me nuts. If you don’t stop blowing me up and checking up on me, we’re going to break up. Is contacting me now worth losing me for the rest of our lives?” He told me I made him do it and now says there will never be an “us” again. No more contacting him, social media efforts, and no talking to his friends again. He said if I didn’t leave him alone, he’d get a restraining order. I want him back so badly and don’t know what i can do to know that I’ve realized what I did wrong and can and will give him his space; though I’ve promised it several times before. I know he’s the one for me and its killing me knowing that everything could’ve been different if I would have just listened. I knew what to do…STOP. But my insecurities wouldn’t let me put down my phone and blow him up. Now I can’t contact him…I don’t know what to do.
I was just diagnosed with this. (BPD) my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me because I pushed him away. I was so scared of the thought of losing him, I lost him. For 2 months he said “you’re driving me nuts. If you don’t stop blowing me up and checking up on me, we’re going to break up. Is contacting me now worth losing me for the rest of our lives?” He told me I made him do it and now says there will never be an “us” again. No more contacting him, social media efforts, and no talking to his friends again. He said if I didn’t leave him alone, he’d get a restraining order. I want him back so badly and don’t know what i can do to know that I’ve realized what I did wrong and can and will give him his space; though I’ve promised it several times before. I know he’s the one for me and its killing me knowing that everything could’ve been different if I would have just listened. I knew what to do…STOP. But my insecurities wouldn’t let me put down my phone and blow him up. Now I can’t contact him…I don’t know what to do.
If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
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