Okay, so My situation is very different and I’m still in need of some advice (this was VERY helpful though, THANK YOU!). When my ex and I first met, it was through some friends when we went out to a bar. We jumped into a relation just a few weeks after meeting, which I felt was very soon for me. I felt that he and I hadn’t really connected completely and that during the relationship I didn’t know him as well as well as I did previous boyfriends because we weren’t really close before we decided to give the relationship a try, unlike my past relationships where we were friends for at least a month or two before taking the next step. But that’s not the main reason why we broke up. I had trust issues from the past few relationships I had been in. I was cheated on multiple times, led on, and in the most recent relationship before my ex and I, I was left for another girl. I couldn’t really get over all of that and instead of letting it go, I carried that with me and lived in fear of the day that my now ex-boyfriend would do the same. After having a serious talk and explaining that to him, he made it clear that I didn’t trust him, but trust is one of the most important factors in a relationship. He felt that because I didn’t trust him and because I hurt his feelings by telling him how I felt, that he couldn’t trust me. So, we came to a conclusion and decided that since I felt we were’t very close to begin with and since we both felt that we don’t trust each other enough to be in a relationship, that we’d start over as friends and see where we end up. I explained to him that I care about him and that I don’t plan on seeing anyone else unless he finds someone new, that I’m exclusive to him. And he said he was exclusive to me as well. So my question is, how do I earn his trust back? I’m ready to be with him again, I’m not worried about him hurting me anymore like my exes did before and I have no doubts about weather or not I’d be able to make this work on my end. So how do I earn his trust? I plan on spending time with him and taking the advice already given from this article, so what else can I do? I know I need to be patient and I understand that it’s going to be hard since I’m so ready to give this another try. Is there anything else that I need to understand before I really work my ass off to get him back?
i broke my ex coz i found out he was cheated on me..the other girl use my bikini..and i did not talk to him for a week and he ask sorry and want to be friends with me so i become friends with him he spent christmas and new years in my house..new years there is something happened me and him i thougth we are go back together but looks like he dont want to see me anymore..i invite him to go out with my friends party he did reject me so i tell him i will not bother him anymore we been together for 2yrs like live together..now he text me that he miss me a lot..and im still the best ever he had..but i dont know if he want to ggo back with me or not..im still love him but i think he dont love what will i do now …i miss him a lot too…but i have to move on with my life now i did not text him anymore or even hang out with our common friends…im still confused…
You sound like you have Borderline Personality Disorder…..how do I know this? Because I have it too. Unless you are just really young and this is your very first relationship and you haven’t a clue how to act. Seriously though, look up BPD and see if you have any of the other symptoms….and if you do, go get diagnosed and get some therapy and meds…..it helps !
So my boyfriend broke up with me two weeks before Christmas and I’ve tryed everything to get him back. It looks like its hopeless even though we are really good friends now and he seems into me again. I just don’t know if I should see if he really ever liked me or if he still does. We’ve been together before, although it took a year and a half to get back together. I’m wondering of the spark is still there!
Do not post negativity on social platforms. Firstly, your social media friends will see it as a big negative and any chances of gaining a new partner are gone but mainly when negativity is posted, it only brings a negative response or anger which may ruin any chances of ever having your ex back again. Another reason I personally do not encourage negative posts is it shows desperation and we don’t want this type of image or attention pointed towards us.
Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
I still obsess (2 months) about the relationship. I miss being a part of a family, I miss having dinner with him, the sex was mindblowing, sleeping next to him, the lazy weekends and the busy doing things together weekends, waiting for him to come home from work, I miss “our” home, his daughters, his family, Sunday afternoon cookouts at his moms…. I still have the most horrible days when I believe it was all my fault and I was just not good enough and will never be good enough for anyone. I let him do that to me. And yes, I sometimes want that back, him back… Yet, somehow I know that, eventually I will be ok, better than ever. Wish it would get here faster!
Oh, no 🙁 I had a really absurd fight with the best BF I’ve ever had (which is not hard to do, I have dated some serious jerks) and I managed to get him back for a whole week and a half before we got snippy and he suddenly was breaking it off with me. The relationship was long-distance and he wants to be friends, but I just spent a week and a half more making an a** of myself. Is there any redemption? I don’t even know how to do this at a distance (I was going to move there, for the record) and after I was so weak. Argh D:
However, before we hit the ground running I feel it is important to mention a few things. The game plan outlined above is not set in stone. Every single relationship is unique and may require unique steps that I haven’t outlined. Knowing what to do can sometimes depend on your gut. So, if your gut is telling you that a particular tactic I have outlined won’t work for you I would definitely trust it. The main takeaway here is that you are going to have to get creative and sometimes even skip entire skips depending on how fast you are moving.
The important thing to remember is working on yourself is the most valuable step in this process. Whether you decide to take your ex back or not after this process is entirely up to you. Either way, you would have done the work to become a better person. And being happy and whole is a strong foundation for love anyway… whether it’s with your ex or someone else.
So now, there’s not a moment that goes by when I don’t think about him and how I want him to come back so I can be better, do better say the things I was too shy to say. I’m not the only person who needs to change, he needs to come back as a new person too. But truth be told, it seemed that we were both stepping out of our comfort zones to be with each other. I wanted him to be more patient and he wanted me to profess my love for him everyday and in the end we both felt like we were being cheated of something and that the other person was being selfish.
Because if she was so easily able to tame you, then the way she sees it, perhaps she could get an even higher value guy? Because surely if you were truly the high value type that she wants, wouldn’t it have been a little harder for her to gain your love? Surely it would at least have been hard enough that she’d end up being the first one to drop the L bomb?
The system is designed to change your understanding of marriage , and especially your understanding of the problems. Here’s why: if you just keep thinking about things the way you have, you will only stay where you have been — stuck and going down! Albert Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
I ask you God to please bless me and my kids father’s relationship to be stronger and for him to not leave me and go off to another female or move our if our place together. Please God of I didn’t need you more then any time in my life I need you now .I promise I will not do anything to unsure are relationship I promise I keep my word please God please bless me through our kids please I need you right now God more then anytime time in my life save my relationship with my kids father and make it healthy please In the name of Jesus we do pray AMEN thank God
About a month ago I found out my boyfriend of 4 months has been cheating on me. I was so confused, we have been doing so well and we were really close, I didn’t understand what made him do it. Before we started dating, we were close friends for 3 years, we told each other everything and we used to tell people that we were going to get married some day, at the time it was all a joke, I had no intention of being more then friends but he did. Anyways we got together and it was the best couple of months of my life. Then, I found out he cheated on me, he begged me for forgiveness and he said he didn’t really have a reason, he was just stupid! So we got back together 3 days after I found out. The first week we were okay, but the second week turned to chaos, I started feeling insecure, every girl that called him, texted him or took a picture with him made me cringed, I will throw tantrums and break up with him, then call him back and all he would just say is “did you get over your little tantrums?” We stopped having real conversations, it seem like he would always cut our phone calls short and tell me I talk too much, so I started picking fights with him because that’s the only way I can get his attention if we’re not having seX. all he did was apologized but he never really made the effort of making it up to me, I didn’t make him fight for me, he stop spending time with and stop calling as often as he used to. HE cheated and when I forgave him it’s like I shot myself in the foot, because he completely changed, and I have been trying to show him that I have forgiven him by sending him cute messages in the middle of the night that he can read in the morning (he’s never done anything like this, his never even called me beautiful or complimented my new hairstyles or any effort i make for him) and we can move forward but he started acting as if I cheated or I have done something wrong, so I retaliated by constantly reminding him that he cheated. Anyways his been paying me no attention, unless we’re talking about sex, he doesn’t listen to anything else I have to say. So I decided to dump him on text after I called him to confine in him and he just completely disregarded my feelings and told me his going back to sleep. I text him and told him that it’s over and that I was not over him cheating on him. it’s been in days and he has not replied, probably because i also told him i was over him and hated him(lies), he wouId already called back by now to stop me from leaving but he hasn’t. I was only breaking up with as cry for attention and affection. Though we fought so much leading to the break up, we were always great and he made me so happy in a way no other man has ever before. I feel bad because I Forgave him for cheating then dumped him After I told him he was forguven. He probably thinks I’m just crazy. What do I do? Even though I initiated the break up, I don’t want to be the one that crawls back because I will be condoning the way he’s been treating me lately, I don’t want to feel neglected again but I want him to want back so badly that he would do anything to make it work and lasts

Rachel Russo, a New York City-based dating and relationship expert with over ten years of experience as a matchmaker and relationship coach, plus a Master's Degree in marriage and family therapy, says being present and self-aware shows you the contributions you are also making to the unsatisfying relationship dynamic. "Coming to terms with your faults—and we all have them—means there is a lot of hope," Russo says. "Instead of just blaming your partner, you are able to recognize your thoughts and behaviors that are problematic and work on changing them. You develop empathy for your partner when you realize how you hurt them. Empathy helps you find and keep, and better the love."


Well I think you have kicked yourself in the A** my friend, first of you did not respect his space once going home after he already assured you that things were ok by making up with you before leaving back home. Secondly you felt the need to idk… “Make sure” he was REALLY ok and still “Wanted me” you felt the need to turn simi stalker on him when everything was ok if you just went home went about your life kept normal communication open keep yourself up go to the gym, keep up with school & friends but no you turn all your attention focusing on issues that weren’t even there. So now he’s at the point to where in his eyes i have to be honest you are emotionally unstable and are possibly the kind of girl that given the right situation or get your angry enough you might do harm to him or get physical in some way YES you put yourself in the CRAZY box! Nothing right now is going to change his mind right now the best thing you can do is LEAVE HIM ALONE, cut all communication with him let him get in touch with you i repeat DO NOT CONTACT HIM AGAIN! if he chooses to get in touch with you he will if he doesn’t…. well you know why.
"While some marriages end because both spouses want out, most troubled marriages have a spouse who wants to save the marriage," says Joe Beam, PhD, the founder and chair of Marriage Helper, adding that when there's someone still fighting for the marriage, there's hope that love can be renewed. "If you have a personal belief and value system that motivates you to finish what you start — especially if you feel that marriage is a life-long commitment—that's a sign things can look up."
I know I posted something similar to this but I would like more advice from everyone. Would appreciate it. So you see,my ex boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago after being with him for 16 months. Im 23 and he’s 26. He said he has thought it through and wants to be friends. I am so heartbroken that it has been so difficult for me to do school work and everything else. He’s someone I truly love and I thought we had something special. He was someone who I thought I was going to marry someday. He told me he loved me and would never leave me, well I guess I got fooled on that one. We did talk about our future about getting married and what not and so I need help in showing him what he’s missing and see how lucky of a wonderful woman he had in his life. So I need help in getting him back permanently.To also add that he told me that he can’t imagine his life without me and it would be weird if I wasn’t in his life anymore so I don’t know if that means something or not.

Your first instinct is an urge to lean forward and do whatever you can to keep your man from slipping away. And I’m going to tell you that you need to let him go, as horrible as this sounds. You need to let him go, because if he is the right man for you, you can get your boyfriend back with the three steps I’m about to go into. If he’s NOT the right man for you, then here’s the news you will appreciate down the road when you DO meet Mr. Right – he did you a favor by going away, and you learned something incredibly valuable in the process. So here are my three steps on how to get your boyfriend back:


If your partner seems to no longer care about the outcome of a fight, or if they seem to feel as though trying to find a solution to your problems is pointless or hopeless, then that can be a clear indication of deeper troubles. When this kind of despair sets in, your partner may withdraw further and feel as though there will never be a way for the two of you to live together in peace. That’s obviously not a good thing, and it’s something that you need to work on if this has become a problem in your marriage.

Well, now you have to meet your ex. When you contact your ex, you need to ask them to meet you. But do not call it a date. Do not even talk about getting back together. Just say you want to “catch up” or “hang out together”. Try to keep it short, like a lunch or coffee. The date has to be in setting where you can leave easily if you sense that things are going south.


By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.
Lord I come to you with worry on my heart. I broke my boyfriend’s heart, and my have lost him forever. I just ask that you give him the gift of forgiveness. I ask that you open his heart and allow him to see that our relationship is worth saving. I ask that you be a force in our relationship and help us to fight through this terrible time and fix our relationship one day at a time. I don’t know where else to turn and I know that you work miracles. I am asking for a miracle at this point. Things look really bad right now but I know that all I need is faith the size of the mustard seed. I pray that you help me and my boyfriend get through this and I pray that my family stays together, I ask this in your name.
just recently I broke up with my boyfriend,we spnd lot of time together,he is my first love and everything for me,ours relationship was to good evn in school all teachers know about tht we are in relationship, all students said made for each other ,I think about him always every minute ,I was wanting a2nd chance to solve the problem but he decided to breakup evn he doesn’t give any reason why he want to break up with me,i had sent him lot of msgs to convenience him,bt I also force him to continue the relationship otherwise I do sucide and all ,I know there is my mistake and I’m feeling guilty about this ,I was do this only because I don’t want let him go bt after doing this he starts hating.now he don’t evn want to talk me ,it’s hard it’s realize that I will never be with this boy again ,he is the boy who does not want to make me cry bt now he hates me because of my reason??so please please please give me some advice how I get him back because I don’t want to leave him in any condition?
He ended things.. This is a guy who comes back to me and has my number for 5 years. And we were so intimate and shared our past. He said didn’t want to play games this time. He came 4 hrs back and forth to spend time with me. Pursues me. Why? What does he want? Why travel in total 8 hrs to come have sex with me? He like a egotistical narcissistic unemotional prick. Please advice.. Btw I never responded to his message. I left things.
I love him. How much i want this to work. Please better our communication and help me to not lash out destructively and instead learn to control my emotions. Please allow me to heal from any hurt as well as heal him of any of my wrongdoings. Please St. Jude I need you now more than ever, I do not want to give up on this man. I pray he doesn’t give up on me and instead allow us to have another chance to make one another better. Please I beg of you. I do not want to start something new, this has too much potential to be great. I plead we have another opportunity to love each other wholeheartedly with no temptation.

I don’t think anyone should worry so much about getting him or her back. Sometimes relationships just don’t work and that’s okay. Sure, it hurts like hell, but that doesn’t matter as much. Don’t stay in relationships. And for godsake if he dumps you, then just get on with life. You shouldn’t be begging and pleading to get back together with someone who treated you poorly. Yes, you probably made mistakes but the point should be that so did he. You’re not the only one at fault here. Try to remember that, when you want to get back together with him, just think do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? Not only that but if one night can make up his mind, then do you really want him? There are better guys out there that actually care about more than sex. You can do so much better. Take time to heal yourself and worry about fixing yourself for you.
It happens all the time, people lose their girlfriends and they want them back, but it doesn’t happen. The reason why it doesn’t happen, is because you don’t know the tips and tricks that actually work. If you want to get an ex back, there are some things that you need to consider. The following are the best tips that you can take with you today to ensure that you’re going to get the upper hand in your life. These take time, so don’t think that you’re going to get through with this overnight. Take your time, gain some confidence and hit these notes in getting your ex girlfriend back.

Luckily, the period of no contact will give you the time to put in place practices and structures to help you drop your stories and see things in a more positive light. Journaling, meditating, and yoga also helps. Maybe it sounds a little too new-age for you, but intense emotional experiences can send your thoughts into overdrive, so it’s really important to try and find a stillness within and learn to quiet your mind, or at least slow it down a bit.
The first mistake to avoid would be to start a discussion about potentially getting back together. YOU as the man should NEVER be the one to START a conversation about that. Because if YOU bring that up, it indirectly tells your ex that you don’t have other dating options in your life that are on HER mate-value level… Since if you did have such options, then why would you be so eager to start a discussion with her about getting back together?

Hi, I met the guy through online dating. After a months we’re meet up and start dating. He was talking about the future and need to get a baby with me and he said “I do love with you”. We have sex when 4th date after sex he’s talk about marright but I know he’s didn’t mean and serious about that We are continune date and get close to each other. He’s text me everyday, seem to care me and love to be with me. I’m fall in love with him. But two months later I feel something change and I’m opened mind to talk with him that I want to be in relationships (I know it huge mistake). After that I feel he’s try to step back, less text, careless and not interesting to me meet. I feel he’s make me last priority. I asked him about love and relationships, he said he do love me but we just know each other for 2 months why I love him so much! Now I’m move to other country before I leave I asked him don’t give up on us and made long distance work it out. But seem like no meaning for him. He’s answer few text and give me a call just twice since I leave. I’m insecure if I follow no contact rules I will lose him forever. Please advice me I few heartbroken right now.


Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of.
Enjoy hobbies together. Though tastes may change, you should make time to do something you used to love doing together. If you used to love cooking Chinese food together, try it again. If you once trained for a half marathon but are now feeling too out of shape, commit to the challenge. By committing to something you enjoyed doing before, you'll rekindle some of the old passion you felt. However, it doesn't just have to be something you used to enjoy together. You can also try something new.[34]
For four years I held trainings that taught men how to effectively seduce women and held private consultations, which have helped many reach perfect results. ALL of the people that I have consulted were completely satisfied with the results. I am also the co-author of the books “Get Your Wife Back” and “Get Your Boyfriend Back”, as well as the course “Get Your Husband Back”.
Luckily, the period of no contact will give you the time to put in place practices and structures to help you drop your stories and see things in a more positive light. Journaling, meditating, and yoga also helps. Maybe it sounds a little too new-age for you, but intense emotional experiences can send your thoughts into overdrive, so it’s really important to try and find a stillness within and learn to quiet your mind, or at least slow it down a bit.

Over the years I’ve found that there’s several lesser-known methods which work very well for speeding up the process of getting an ex back. Which of these methods you as an individual should use, in your specific circumstances, will depend on your quiz results from my chances of getting your ex back quiz. Please go take that quiz right now. The methods you’ll need to use to solve your own specific breakup, will then be revealed!
Another year goes by. It was summer and I was having the time of my life. I decided to take a break from dating and focus on myself. Then I ran into him in Central Park on a Saturday afternoon. At last, he was single and I was single, we were both living in NYC, now was the time. But he didn’t contact me after that. So I decided to contact him. I sent him a friendly message on Facebook and opened the door wide for him to ask me out… but he didn’t take my expertly laid out bait.
Sooo, I reconnected with a girl I knew a couple of decades ago. I had a huge crush on her but both of us were married. I’m not now and spent a lot of time on self improvement, which she gravitated towards as she works her way out of another marriage. After about three months of platonic self help counseling we caved…it was intense for about two months; she started working with a counselor to save the marriage/amicably divorce and suggested I pursue other women for awhile. I backed off, maintaining contact via text/cell about every 3 days; not too heavy subjectwise. Made the mistake of telling her I was doing great without her. After that she shut off contact, and responded to my attempts with a hostile voicemail telling me to stop all contact. I went into no contact mode for two weeks, sent a couple of happy holiday texts, then wrote the no contact letter. A week later her husband comes up and introduces himself, tells me he’s in the middle of his divorce and she’s eligible now but has a boyfriend. I reach out for confirmation and to give her a heads up and ask for a meet and am given a letter with all the nevers (never want to talk to you, never want to see you, never be friends, etc) and threatening to go to the cops over stalking. I know I should cut and run but we got so close in those early months…I don’t want to give that up. I also don’t her throwing the stalking card out to everyone…most of all…don’t want the anger, nor do I understand it. How do I turn this around to platonic at the least and repair it to a couple at best? Yeah I called texted lettered about 20 times in 80 days and maybe drove by her house twice but STALKING? I never raised my voice to this woman.

For the last 3 yrs I was the one who reach out to him every time he leave, now I am applying the no contact, is been 2 weeks, is been hard but I told myself I will have to keep my ground for at least 3 months before I consider reaching out to him. Do you think he will reach out to me this time around? if so, any idea after how long he will reach out to me? I think I may got him used to me giving in all the time.
My situation is a bit different. I have a boyfriend who loves me incredibly and so do I. But the problem between us is that he does not bring our relationship into his father’s consideration. It’s been 1 year and 4 months we have been dating. When he asked me out, he clearly told me that he is not that type of a person who likes to date girls and move on to the next one, I personally admire that about him, and I also think the same. We have a lot of mutuality. Our relationship is close to perfect, but he does not like when I ask him about if he will speak to his dad about our relationship so we can get married some where in future. My side of the family found out about him, and they have no issues with it, they just want to speak to his family so they can tie us in a knot. Recently, he told me he was going to speak to his father by the end of this month, but again he did what he has been doing, he dodged this issue, and here I am super stressed about what is on his mind about this. Does he even want to marry me or be with me forever? I need help, because I am so confused about what does he really want? I know that he loves me with all his heart, and so do I, but why is he keep dogding the marriage topic?
Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. However, I don’t like the phone for a lot of reasons. First off, it doesn’t give you time to think. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. Not to mention he still may be a little resentful about the break up.
My vibe was affected by stress of school and radiated out into other areas of my life without my realizing…granted my ex never communicated how I was making him feel, but the breakup made me realize what had happened and how i can get those stress levels down and vibe up…I am prepared it is too late…he will never be able to share those vibes. But if he doesn’t hes also missing out because I feel good, a little sad it didn’t work out, but good overall.

There was this guy I really liked and he liked me so he asked me out. We were together and it was all going really good…..One day we got in our first fight and he broke up with me and I never knew why. I’m trying to get back together with him. There is this guy and he flirts with me from time to time in front of my ex and he turns red and gets jealous I guess, but he never talks to me..But he stares at me. I try to get in contact with him and everything but he shows no interest to talk to me…..I’m just confused 
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