Joe Dillon, MBA is a professional divorce mediator and founder of Equitable Mediation Services. Joe is passionate about helping couples avoid the destruction of attorney-driven litigation and knows first-hand that the right information, combined with the right expertise and the right kind of support can make the challenging process of divorce less expensive, less time-consuming and less stressful for divorcing couples and their families.
For example:- Things were all OK before. One day you ended up talking to your ex in a casual manner. You did not have anything in mind which was bad. It was a casual conversation let it be a text or a call. Let it be after many years or months. From that day your partner started behaving weirdly. Even after telling you everything was fine. In this situation, your partner acted in a way where everything seems to be fine. But that was not the case. He/she felt bad when you talked to your Ex and trust issues built up. So try to get deep into the problem of What Went Wrong. Some things might be right from your side but not your partner's side.

The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own.
It is natural to feel anxious and sad when this happens. Your anguish may lead you to attempt to use various manipulation tactics to get the upper hand in your relationship. But playing games to gain or regain the power in a relationship is bound to lead to its demise. There are many relationships in which one person holds more power than the other, but these tend to be extremely unhealthy. Physically or verbally abusive relationships, relationships in which one partner is cheating, and relationships in which one partner has more assets than the other (that are not common property) are often doomed to fail or to lead to heartbreak and unhappiness.
I’m definitely NOT saying you should have been looking to have a kid with her recently – not at all. I’m just saying that the relationship should have been very gradually progressing into more and more serious territory. Women need to notice this kind of progress because it shows them that eventually the relationship could lead to her delivering what nature intended – kids.
You can’t just dive back into the relationship and expect everything to be different this time around. You broke up for a reason, probably several reasons, and those reasons will still be there unless properly dealt with. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results, that’s just insane (literally, I think that’s the actual definition of insanity).
a lack of respect on either side. If you or your ex call each other names, belittle each other's accomplishments, or say disparaging things about one another to your family or friends, then there is no respect in that relationship. These are all features of an emotionally abusive relationship.[20] Find someone who shows you the respect you deserve, and commit to treating him or her with respect as well.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about five years. In December we got into an argument because I thought he was ignoring my plans I had with my family. We normally see family together during the holidays so I expected him to be on point. Anyway, I was about to leave and asked him what’s on his agenda and he just ignored me. I got mad and cursed him out and left. Days after I text to find out why he was ignoring me and he did not reply. Some time passed and he then said we need some space because I constantly curse him out and he is tired of it. He said that I am jealous and insecure which is a recurring theme in our arguments. Weeks passed and we just cordial over the phone. I tried not to be clingy because he said that we have to learn to be friends and give each other space in order to try and repair the relationship. He visited me in January and we talked somewhat and ended up sleeping together. We were cordial for a couple days and he kept saying how much he loves me and wants to have a family with me. I then asked if that means that we are back together and he said we never broke up but we still need space. Some time passed and we kept sending each other messages and stuff. I really missed him and asked when are we going to be out of this phase and he said as long as it takes for me to fix my ways. I told him that he has things to work on too. He said he knows he is not perfect but we keep fighting over the same things and he is tired of it. Recently he came to see me and brought an unexpected gift. I thought he was going to stay but he did not. I wanted him so badly that I slept with him. A few days after I asked about seeing him for Valentines Day and he said “why did we break up again?” I said “You said we were not broken up” He said that we still need space. I said I was confused because he keeps sending me messages about missing me and wanting to be with me and we are intimate but yet we are “just friends for now”. Mind you, when we text it is not about anything sexual. If he sees where a conversation is headed that way he stops it. Now we got into a huge fight over the phone because I said I do not know what he wants from me and I am fed up of waiting. He said talking to me is pointless because I do not get where he is coming from. I told him that he does not get where I am coming from either and I will just leave him alone. He said that he does not give a f#$% and that I should do what I want to because he is not getting through to me. I try to understand him honestly I do but I do not think he sees it. I love him with all my heart but I fear this is it for us. Sigh. Any advice?
No woman of any age wants to feel like they made their boyfriend unhappy. She’s okay with leaving because she’s unsatisfied, but she doesn’t want to feel that from you. She’s going to be shocked and everything she believed about you before the breakup will be turned on its head. She is going to start second-guessing a lot of things – and her decision to end the relationship is right at the top of the list.

Hlo ,on 27th June he broken up with me,we spnd lot of time together,he is my first love and everything for me,ours relationship was to good evn in school all teachers know about tht we are in relationship, all students said made for each other ,I think about him always every minute ,I was wanting a2nd chance to solve the problem but he decided to breakup evn he doesn’t give any reason why he want to break up with me,i had sent him lot of msgs to convenience him,bt I also force him to continue the relationship otherwise I do sucide and all ,I know there is my mistake and I’m feeling guilty about this ,I was do this only because I don’t want let him go bt after doing this he starts hating.now he don’t evn want to talk me ,it’s hard it’s realize that I will never be with this boy again ,he is the boy who does not want to make me cry bt now he hates me because of my reason bt later I apologise him and try to convince him and pleased him to talk evn as a frnd but he doesn’t so please please please give me some advice how I get him back because I don’t want to leave him in any condition

Reason #2 – Creates Feeling of Loss: Another reason to use no contact is, it helps in developing the feelings of loss in your ex boyfriend’s mind. Your boyfriend will start thinking why she is not calling me. He will start getting second-guessing to his decision of breaking up with you. Once he starts getting these second-guessing thoughts it will be great helpful for you.
I ended a realstionship with my ex of 2 years we met up and I said I wanted him back we had sex and he left saying he was confussed and then sent me a text saying he wanted to be on his own. After weeks of texting and he kept saying no. A week later I said I was feeling better and wanted our realtionship to end on a smile and could we meet for lunch he said yes one Wednesday. I said I would clear my diary for next week, he hasn’t replied to 100 % confirm so 50:50 we will meet. I haven’t sent a text to ask. I do still love him and hate feeling rejected,not sure how to handle the situation
Dude… be chill. I overreacted at first too but it was more so because there is a child involved. Mine left just a few days ago as well. The first day she texted me back a few times but then she either changed her number or just let her minutes run out (prepaid). But after looking through some of these sites… I took their advice. Start working out…. like wayyy harder than you normally do. Get the testosterone and endorphins flowing. It will take your mind off shit. It’s amazing how much similar your story is to mine. We had just talked about marriage a few weeks ago. I am going to give it about another week or so and see what happens. It’s amazing how much a little time away will make things much more manageable with your emotions. It will be hard to make that first leap to contacting her but just be subtle with it. Don’t go all Rambo gotta come back now guy. Just be polite and reasonable. Don’t have any thing set that should happen. Read her. If she is accepting to it… go on with your bad self. If not… say something chill… like “well… I just want you to know that I had fun while it lasted. Take care and I’ll see you around.” And walk the fuk away.
I don’t know if I have done the right thing. I sent my ex an email to say that I didn’t want to leave things on a bad note and that I hope one day he finds that special girl that will make him happy and one that will understand him as he is special and a complex person and that there is only one of him. That in time hopefully we will be able to become friends. Ended with all the best…Have I done the wrong thing as he didn’t answer me and I know he has read the message??
Okay so me & my ex boyfriend broke up like a couple months ago. Me and him have been dating for over a year. Ever since we got into high school he changed. He’s like every other guy now. During our relationship, he would cry when I left or if I took the bracelet he gave me off. I just really want him back, I still do love him. I honestly need to know what to do. Help me please
My wife and I went to a dinner party at a neighbor’s house one weekend. It was a pleasant, but unremarkable affair, full of psychiatrists, as are most of the affairs I attend. Four days later, I walked our dog past their house. There were some newspapers on their steps. I rang the bell, and then looked in their front window. The house was empty. The furniture was gone. They were gone. It turned out they were getting a divorce. It came as a surprise to all those psychiatrists who had attended their party.  More commonly the ending of a long-term relationship is drawn out over months and sometimes years, even when both attempt to fix whatever has gone wrong.
You are always going to come up with some reason why you have to contact him. You saw sneakers he would love on sale, you saw a meme he would find hilarious, it’s his birthday, it’s his dog’s birthday, you really want to update him on your crazy co-worker and the latest installment of her shenanigans, and on and on. But you must resist! Recognize what’s really happening, there is nothing urgent you need to tell him, you just want to talk to him because you miss him. But remember reaching out at this stage will not bring him back into your life.

If you think that by being friends with your ex, you can stay in their lives and hopefully get back together again, you are just plain wrong. By being friends you are not giving yourself and your ex enough time and space to heal. Not to mention, you will probably end up getting friendzoned by your ex. You could end up listening to your ex complaining about their new lovers (cue : Ex-girlfriends)  or they might propose being friends with benefits (cue: Ex-boyfriends).
You just started dating a new guy. You are in that honeymoon phase and everything is great. You are constantly complimenting him and giving him acknowledgment that he is wanted by you. Basically he loves hearing that you are interested in him. However, as time goes on things begin to change. You don’t compliment him as much because you don’t need to land him anymore. This is when the problems begin for him.
In 2012, my little brother Adam died. My life shattered, and I spent the next month drunk in bed. It had been four years since Mary and I had spoken, but it spoke volumes to me that she came out of the woodwork to send me a handwritten note expressing her sorrow for Adam’s death. Through everything—the fights, the skipped plans, the immaturity—she found it in herself to reach out to me. I was blown away, and she was back in my life. We learned that we only lived a few blocks away from each other, and that is how we started dating for the fourth and final time. Once again we started seeing each other as friends. We always met up at this one café in the Lower East Side. I’d get a coffee, and she’d get a bagel.

He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?

DONT blow up her phone. and DONT beg for her, thats unattractive and foolish. you have to show her a friend, and that you dont need her. you wont be able to make her jealous because shell be glad youre gone. you have to meet her in person, and show her a man, and that you are serious. dont show her a little kid who wants her to feel bad for you. show her a man, looking for a serious relationship. dont be needy, and dont let your messages exceed double digits to her in a day.
"Infidelity isn't the end of the marriage or the relationship," says April Masini, a relationship expert and author of books including Romantic Date Ideas, which includes sexy "at home" dates and fail-proof seduction secrets. She says if both people in the relationship really want things to work — in spite of feeling sad, betrayed or angry — it can be done. "The most important thing to remember is that most infidelities are a symptom of a problem in the relationship. They don't mean something is wrong with the person who cheated or the person who was cheated on. When couples can see infidelity as a relationship problem, they are more likely to be able to work on the relationship and go the distance."
Be honest about how you feel, within reason. Don't tell her what she might have done wrong in the relationship. Instead, focus on you. Let her know that you've thought a lot about where things went wrong, and show her all the ways in which you've changed. Tell her how you've become more patient, more forgiving, more aware of your own shortcomings, and be sure to back it up with action. If you say you've become more forgiving, be able to show her that you're not as quick to point out other peoples' faults.
I have one for you guys! I started dating this girl that in my mind is the perfect one! I mean I couldnt possibly build a better woman. Well after 4 years of dating we broke up because she was tired of my habbits.!? Well we have been broken up now for three years and she still calls and texts every day. When I go to her house for the night she sleeps in her bed alone. She helps me in any way I need. (Bails me outta jail, pays my phone bill, buys me sweet gifts, ect.)
Sometimes the break up is so unique or troubling or complex, that it requires some specialized coaching.  Or sometimes, people do better if they can talk to someone who is an expert at helping folks with their relationship troubles.  Well, if you fall into that category, then you are in luck.  All you need to do is reach out to me (i.e. click Coaching Services in my website’s Menu Section) and I am sure we can work out something!
Broke up with my ex after 6 years, he was manipulative, a liar and a cheat. As soon as we split up he started dating another girl. I asked him about it and he denied it. Anyway, it’s been 7 weeks now and he has been in constant contact with me. Last week it all come out that he was dating that girl all along. He admitted it all to me and told me he wanted me back, I foolishly told him that we could sort things out. He then decided he didn’t want me back and has now run back to that girl. It’s been a week since this happened and I haven’t heard off him since. I know I should not want a person like that back in my life. But I just want him to regret what he’s done and come begging for me back. Will he be sorry? And Is this girl just a rebound or does he really like her? I can’t stop obsessing over him. Every minute of the day he’s on my mind and I constantly stalk him and her on social media.
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