Throughout our courtship, I was utterly under the control of my ex-girlfriend. I let her walk all over me. She would call me at 4 A.M. and only stop calling when I answered. Being in college, I decided to drive down south where she lived to see if our relationship could work. I asked Mary to wait for me while I figured it out. She didn’t want to. Obviously.
My boyfriend just broke up with me yesterday and trying to start my NC but he doesn’t stop snapchatting me. He did say that he wants to be friends and keep in touch with me. He broke up with me because he has too much going on and need to focus on himself. (at least that’s what he said) I don’t know what to do…. and we were in long distance relationship.

Get some new clothes. New times call for new duds. It's a subtle change in you, but the importance will be clear to her: your new outer shell will signal deeper changes underneath. Get that new shirt that you've been wanting to buy, or those new pair of jeans. Looking sharp is an important aspect of physical attraction, and if she sees you looking great in unfamiliar clothes, she'll sense that there's been forward movement, if not wholesale change.


Just imagine a scenario where you don’t want to talk to a person and they are sending you a text message every 5 minutes. Your inbox is filled with hundreds of messages by them, even though you haven’t replied to even one. And later on at night, that person gets drunk and calls you and start saying complete and utter non-sense. What would you think of that person? Would it make you want to start a new relationship with them?
Unfortunately, partners often go through mutual misunderstandings, because no one teaches us how to act in a relationship. What we see on TV and in movies, what we are told by many friends, about the behavior of men and women is most often very far from reality. So if you are blaming yourself, I am telling you to stop! It is possible that not everything in the demise of your relationship is your fault! If you would have known exactly what to do to keep your couple in a happy state, I’m sure you would have done everything that depended on you. Most likely you just didn’t have the right information. But everything can still be fixed...
Let’s say one night you decide to watch home movies from an old-fashion projector. You put in a video of you at 5 years old playing at your first recital. You curl up on the couch with popcorn and hot chocolate (two of your favorite things) and begin to watch. Unfortunately, there appears to be a weird blemish in the video, so you decide to change it and put on a video of your 10th birthday party but somehow the blemish is in that video too. So, you run over to the wall, wipe the screen, and put in one more video… yet again, the spot is still showing up.
Yes, she’s back! I thought it was impossible. She seemed to hate me! I annoyed her a lot. She stopped calling me and didn’t answer my calls, screamed that I just need to leave her alone and nothing was possible for us. But as soon as I started following the rules described in your book, she called me! It took just two weeks! We met again and now everything is fine! I was sure I could never get her back, but your book helped me understand many of my mistakes. Thank you!
My boyfriend just broke up with me a week ago. We had been dating about 4 months. The first two months of our relationship, he worked a normal 9-5 job and we were able to see each other once, twice, or even more times a week. In December he went back to working a completely opposite shift as me, and six days a week, meaning that we had very little time to see each other. Only about once every week to two weeks. We talked about how difficult it was to see each other because of his work schedule, but that he really cared about me and was going to try to make it work because it meant something to him. The next time I saw him three weeks later, he said that he didn’t think he would be able to commit the time to the relationship. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about me, or enjoy my company, but that he couldn’t see me very often and when he had time off on the weekends, there were other things that he needed to do because he could only do them then. He said that it didn’t mean he wouldn’t be interested in taking me out every couples of weeks or so, but that it wouldn’t be anything more than a date, not a relationship. He also said that it had nothing to do with anything that I did, that he always had a great time with me (we never got into any fights or arguments), and the breakup wasn’t anything he particularly wanted to do, but he knew that I wanted more than he could give me. He mentioned that if his schedule changed in the somewhat near future, or if his feelings towards committing to a relationship changed, I would be the first one to know. I really feel like we’re right together, and he said that he thought we were good together, and I could honestly see myself with him for the long haul. How long should I wait before I contact him? We had talked everyday for the past 3 months, and now nothing. He’s leaving for a 3 week long business trip in April. Should I contact him and try to see him before he leaves, or wait until he gets back? I would be willing to have a relationship with him even if it meant not seeing him very often, as long as I knew we would be serious once he got back on a different schedule. I’m pretty upset and hurt about it, and any advice would be helpful. Thanks!
On the 22 he initiated contact that he was coming by the house, I didn’t answer and 29 of November he initiated contact again Stating he was coming by the house I didn’t answer. The reason I didn’t respond was because he at the time he had my house keys so he had access, whenever he wants. He sent another text on the 29th Asking if I had paid a bill only then I respond. During this same week, I knew he was angry since his coworker told me that they didn’t kiss, since her called got transferred to my phone and I ask her and she told him that I ask her. He then called me 7 times back to back but I didn’t answer. I went 2 weeks no contact although he was the one to contact.

It is okay to have suspicions. It is okay to have speculations. It is okay to have doubts. But it is also okay to confirm your speculations. I was initially in the place as I speak of but I was able to put my speculations to rest by contacting a freelance engineer (alphablakkhat at gmailcom) to do minor spy job for me. I was sad that I was susspecting my loving husband. I mean this man was actually standing up for me EVERYWHERE and on EVERY FRONT.


First, let’s make one thing clear: just because your partner is exhibiting a couple of the behaviours that I just talked about doesn’t mean that they’re definitely planning to file for divorce. It may simply be that these are indicators of trouble ahead in your marriage. But if you’ve seen several of these indicators in your spouse recently, and you’re feeling that things aren’t on track with your marriage, I encourage you to act to turn things around now before matters get any worse.
so Ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year, just a week before the anniversary he ended it. ive been trying to stop crying but i simply cant. specially the fact that many thing remind me of the good memories i had with him. he was the first real bf i had, and i was his first relationship. so having mistakes and some arguments were normal i think, so i neglected them. the good thing about him was that even after the times it was my mistake and he was hurt, we spent the night crying and apologizing and saying i was sorry, and the day after that he was totally normal. the longest time that we didnt talk was like 24 hours coz he had no reception in the mountains. the real question for me is that the usual relationship tips never worked on him. playing hard to get, staying out of touch or trying to make him jealous would just make him say: ” stop that… i know what you’re doing!” even in the beginning of or dating and after we knew each other well, i knew he was somehow different. you know he was like 50 shades, not the crazy kinky side of him of course but the part where he took care of me and protected me. despite his age, hes been working for long and its been almost two years that he provides for his family. he pays for the mortgage, buy food and all that. and he also goes to college in another city. he does not party like boys his age do and all the other boyish stuff. from the start, we both kinda knew that we cant last forever. i live in a country that family matters the most and in that part we were the opposite. but we are too young ( 22 ) for getting married or something like that, and i know that you might say im too young for being hopeless of finding someone else. the fact is, arranged marriages kinda rule in my family ( i live in middle east if u need to know) and its not just underestimating myself but im short ( 5 feet only ) my hair wont grow longer than my shoulder, my noes is too big in my face, and believe me, i have consulted with different doctors about my problems, but they need solutions or surgeries that my dad wont let me do. even my mom says im not beautiful. my sister mocks my face and body. let alone people in college and so on. im in a family that love and support does not exist, and coz im not that fun and outgoing because of my economic situation, i cant really go out with my girlfriend much. so im asking you this, coz Ive been asking myself: whats the harm? now that im alone i can understand how much the breaking up hurts, and i know that if it went on longer, it would have been even worse. but considering all those things i told you, isnt he the best for me right now? and considering the fact that he always acts different, and also kinda mannish despite of his age, how can i get him back? its our anniversary in a few days, and his birthday in 3 weeks. would that be okay if i contact him in those days?
Last night we had sex and he kissed me like he meant it. He kissed me bye etc. today when I talked to him he said to give him time (he’s out of town anyways until Wednesday with family) but he’s worried everything is going to go back to the way it was. I’ve worked on myself and I know now what my problem was – my ego! Then he told me on the phone to not call/text him. If he wants to talk he will call me (I can’t do it. It’s hard) and told me not to tell him everything to let him wonder. I’m trying to be open and honest with him.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year, and she just broke up with me because she seems to care more about her friends than she does our relationship. she wont make time for me and ever sinse we split she refuses to talk to me. I’m heartbroken completely. because we used to be perfect. how do i get her to speak to me again even though she doesnt want to, i need her, please help!
please heal my relationship.. I love my boyfriend with all my heart but unfortunately our relationship is falling apart. He no longer feels attracted to me. he doesn’t show respect towards me. We were so good together but now everything is falling apart please help me get his love back make him love me more than ever make our relationship stronger and fix the distance between us.
Dear God, I have hit rock bottom. I have nowhere to turn and nobody to rely on. You are my rock. You are the only way. I am here no on my knees… holding back the flood of tears. Give me wisdom to save my relationship with my boyfriend Willie.I want him back in my life. I love him lord. I don’t want Willie to go to another woman/girl. I really really want him back. Please Lord Strengthten our Relationship and strengthen our love lord. I know only you can save this. I beg up you. I plead with you. Show us a better way together. Please open his heart to my love and your forgiveness. Please touch his soul at this very moment. Where ever he is and what he is doing… touch him Lord. Help him see we need to save this love. Please, I ask and pray with all the strength that you are giving me just to be able to breathe. i am lost without him. Lord I need him. I need to feel your love with him. Dear Lord I pray. Please give me the right words, guide me to help save our relationship. Show me how strong I can be through you. My tears soak my spirit, my heart is breaking. I cannot hold on. I feel like every ounce of life is draining from me. Renew me. Renew me. Make him see. Use us as an example of how forgiveness and your love can save and change people. Help him rebuke satan and his temptations. I love him so dear Lord. I will honor you with my love for him. Give me this chance. Please reach out to him now and help him see we need to save this. I love you Lord. I will never doubt your ability. Please do this. Save us. Please. I beg u Lord..
First, let’s make one thing clear: just because your partner is exhibiting a couple of the behaviours that I just talked about doesn’t mean that they’re definitely planning to file for divorce. It may simply be that these are indicators of trouble ahead in your marriage. But if you’ve seen several of these indicators in your spouse recently, and you’re feeling that things aren’t on track with your marriage, I encourage you to act to turn things around now before matters get any worse.
Sorry I know this is ridiculous and LONG. So its been a week since he dumped me, all my friends are telling me to forget him and move on. That if he wanted to be with me he would. I just cant..i even took your advice and went on a date last weekend and it only made me miss him more. I want to reach out to him now. I was thinking about leaving a voicemail directly. I want him to hear my voice and hear me explain. My friends said not to, but i think it may help if he really hears me. All our stupid fighting has been through text and I think that only makes things worse. Any advice would be great!
My ex girlfriend dumped me last night. She said that I treated her better than anyone ever had before, and when I asked why she was breaking up with me she said it was because I treated her more like a friend then a girlfriend. I was okay with it and trying to start to move on but then she texted me and said “I hope that this break up wont be a permanent thing and that I hope someday soon we can get back together”I have no clue what to do but I would like to get back togethersince she was the only girl I actually readily liked. Please help.
My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. He said he did not want to be in a committed relationship anymore. He just wants to be single and see what’s out there. How can you say those things to someone you’ve been with for 4 years?! 3 weeks later, he called me yesterday at 4am. I missed it because I left my phone in the car. I called him today and he said he didn’t remember calling me because he was really drunk. I asked him to meet up for catch up tomorrow and he agreed. I am going to follow this site’s advice: be positive and just have fun. But is there still a chance for us to getting back together? I still love him so much but I feel like he’s made up his mind to be single. I’m so confused and depressed.
Okay so me & my ex boyfriend broke up like a couple months ago. Me and him have been dating for over a year. Ever since we got into high school he changed. He’s like every other guy now. During our relationship, he would cry when I left or if I took the bracelet he gave me off. I just really want him back, I still do love him. I honestly need to know what to do. Help me please
Ask them if they want to save the relationship. If they say yes, tell them (calmly) that you don't feel like they are putting forth the effort. Tell them exactly what you need from them, if possible. Couples counseling might be beneficial in this case. If they don't respond positively that they want to save the relationship, move on. You can't change their mind.
So my ex broke up with me a week ago (we had only been dating for two months but apparently it was his longest relationship in awhile) and we’ve been in contact almost every day for the past week just talking as friends so that we don’t lose our snapchat streak (I know that’s a stupid reason to keep in contact with someone). He already drunk texted me saying that he made a mistake but when I confronted him about it the next day he remembered what he said just fine but said he couldn’t get back together because he “needed to work on himself first”. I feel awful starting the “4 week no contact rule” since we’ve been chatting for so long but I really want him back. What do I do?
So, follow the advice above, and then do this - do more of the above. Lots more. The common thread Gottman found that predicts divorce so well is weaved into it, and it is this: for a marriage to be stable, you must have lots more positive interactions than negative interactions. How much more? Twice as much? No. Three times as much? No. The positive has to outweigh the negative by at least five to one. This is not a number pulled out of a hat. It is a fact.
Right now is your time.  While your instincts are to obsess over your ex boyfriend and run through your mind over and over again as to what you did wrong, you have to stop thinking this way.  So what I want you to do is start writing down your vision of the future and what you want.  Don’t think so much about what happened in the past, but focus on what you are going to do to start healing.
I begged and pleaded with my ex to not let me go the day he broke up with me. Even told him I couldn’t live without him. W-T-F!!!!!! But when I finally got in my car to leave (for the second time), I was in shock (disgust, humiliated, sick…) that I could have done that. To give you perspective on why I was in shock: during the breakup he said, and I quote, “It was your actions that led us to this.” “YOU ARE HERE TO HELP ME! AND I HAVE TWO KIDS!” (Adult kids mind you. This was responding to the fact that I stopped being their f-ING maid). “You don’t even take very good care of your dogs.” All of these things were said with the, all too familiar, condescending, disgusted, nasty look on his face, twisting words and making everything my fault. Oh, there were a lot more comments like that during our breakup (and consistent throughout our relationship) but those have stayed with me the most.

Need some advice here, my ex girlfriend/ girlfriend just broke it off after a night at the bar. The night started out with a romantic dinner and then we met her friends out at the bar.. We both had a great night until after bar close when we were trying to decide on what we were going to all do the rest of the night.. We ended up getting in an argument about something, to be honest I don’t remember, and she just told me to go home. She proceeded to walk away with her and a few of her guy friends so naturally I got upset. I contemplated on what to do and them decided to walk to her place.. That was obviously not a good decision, when I got there I got upset and accused her of not wanting to be with me and she went on to say that I followed her he and was stalking her which was not my intent at all.. After going back and forth I just flat out asked if we were over and if she even wanted to be with me and she responded no I don’t want to be. I then immediately started to try and plead with her and ask her why and kept trying to get her to talk to me about it and all she did was tell me to leave and go home, which I did after waiting for a cab for an hour.. On the way home in the cab I was so damn upset and sent her a text message that she didn’t care about me and that I was easily replaced by by one of her guy friends that was at her place with everyone.. She responded with what r u talking about and I then responded with I know your sleeping with him I could tell how lit up your face was when you looked at him and then told her one more time that she was going to sleep with him.. She responded back by saying she wasn’t and that I’m crazy. About a half hour goes by and she text me back that she misses me and said that she was getting a cab to come over.. So she came over and apologized for being a brat and apologized for the night.. I then asked her why she got so mad and she said she didn’t remember.. So I let it be figured we would talk in the morning about it, so we had sex and went to bed. The next morning comes and I try to talk to her and she said she didn’t want to talk about it so I did what I shouldn’t have and prayed at her a little bit to get her to talk and she flipped out and said I just want to go home so asked her again do you even want to be with me and she said I don’t know. I brought her home and when I dropped her off I asked if I could have a kiss and we kissed and she said ill talk to you later.. She finally got back to me 14 hrs later and said that she didn’t feel good and had been sleeping all day which I guess I can understand after a full night of drinking.. I did send her a text and left her a voicemail saying how torn up and confused I am about everything but didn’t say it in a demanding way at all.. The next day I sent her another message in the afternoon asking her if she would have time to talk in person and she said yea.. Being absolutely heartbroken at this point I decided to make her a huge bouquet of flower along with a handwritten card apologizing for everything that happened.. I brought them over to her place and she was still sleeping saying she didn’t feel good so I just dropped th off and we agreed to talk tomarow about things.. I’m just so confused right now, I know we have only been seeing each other for 2 months but I don’t understand how things coul end like they did I have been in this 100%and treat her like an absolute queen.. What should I so here I don’t want to loose this girl she is absolutely one of a kind and I genuinely care for her

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