My boyfriend broke up with me 6months ago..saying things like, I want I be on my own, go out with mates, we weren’t getting on anymore. Which I thought was bizarre because we would always joke around, we were together for 4&half years. Took him only 2 months to find a new girlfriend he seems to of forgotten all about me, I haven’t saw him in them 6 months nor contacted I would life to get back with him As he is my best friend. And I truly love him. Any help appreciated
I am asking for prayers. As I am going through a rough time, and am doing everything I can to save my relationship, I pray. Lord, I pray and ask you to hear me. I pray that you give me the strength to overcome this trial you have placed in front of me, so I can move forward. I lift up my relationship to you and pray for healing. I pray that the love that I know still remains can be rekindled, and that you restore the connection that was once had. I pray that you remind him of all of the great times you blessed us with, and all of the tribulations we have overcome together. I pray that he knows how much I truly love and cherish him. I pray that you remove any temptation that may be hindering the love we have between us. I pray that you restore the strength within the two of us as one. Lord, I’m asking you to hear my prayers and I thank you for blessing me with this love. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Posting here for sanity. I was moving on and got to a good place and just like herpes he came back. Gave me the line that he has had a really bad week, he wants to talk to me. I ate up that breadcrumb up like my life depended on it. Back to checking up on him on FB, back to checking my email 36376799x a day. Now haven’t heard from him again, but he has time to like sexual garbage on FB and be on FB all.the.time. Pretty sure he is chatting up others, but why do I flipping care? how many more red flags do I need? Moving on….again.
I am currently in a bad situation with my boyfriend, he has decided that we are friends and not in a relationship as it was too intense and aggressive with the rows. I really really want to win him back but mostly win his trust back. It’s only been a short time so I can’t expect too much but I really struggle sleeping separately and not ‘going along’ as we did as a couple! He has done this before and with time and comfort, let his hair down and come back. I just don’t know if he is too stubborn this time?! I know he loves me under all of the anger and pain

The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own.
He needs his space, personal time to focus on nothing but himself. I thought he was getting enough, until he asked for more. He was constantly tired, rarely made attempts at making love or kissing unless he was drunk… I thought it was because of his dedication to his work that we weren’t spending as much time together- which I will never resent or hold against him. He broke up with me saying that this wasn’t working… That he wasn’t in the relationship as much as he was and that I deserve better. What is so much more confusing is that he kept calling me pet names- Babe, Hun, Sweetie… Why would he do that? In my mind, it’s because he does want to be with me, and genuinely doesn’t feel like he’s good enough. I have been there for him through this, as a supportive girlfriend does, doing this not only for him, but for us. I gave this 100% and refuse to believe that there will be nothing in the future. I love him and God knows we are perfect together. Please, help.
You need to make him feel terrible for breaking up with you. He should feel like a dumbass for letting you go. That's what you need to make him feel like if you want to get him back. You won't get him back by spying and stalking him (stop checking his Facebook every 2 minutes), but by making him remember all the great times you had together, and making him imagine how nicer life could be if you were still together.
At this point, any negative feelings or opinions your ex had have most likely dissipated. He’s forgotten about the bad times, about the fights, about what went wrong. Human beings have a tendency to idealize the past. So once you’re “past,” he will only remember the good stuff and the bad stuff will drift further into the recesses of his mind. And it won’t be long before he starts to wonder what you’re up to…
I know I posted something similar to this but I would like more advice from everyone. Would appreciate it. So you see,my ex boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago after being with him for 16 months. Im 23 and he’s 26. He said he has thought it through and wants to be friends. I am so heartbroken that it has been so difficult for me to do school work and everything else. He’s someone I truly love and I thought we had something special. He was someone who I thought I was going to marry someday. He told me he loved me and would never leave me, well I guess I got fooled on that one. We did talk about our future about getting married and what not and so I need help in showing him what he’s missing and see how lucky of a wonderful woman he had in his life. So I need help in getting him back permanently.To also add that he told me that he can’t imagine his life without me and it would be weird if I wasn’t in his life anymore so I don’t know if that means something or not.
By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.
I have known very rocky relationships that have sorted themselves out over time and then lasted, as far as I could tell, forever. Sometimes, these new beginnings started in the judge’s chambers when the divorce was being finalized. Sometimes afterwards. I have recently come across someone who married the same woman three times—although it is hard to believe that they have, at last, come to terms with each other. In these instances, it is often the case that the couple had not ever really made clear to each other just how strongly they felt about certain things. (They would say at this point that they told the other person a hundred times just what they felt; but I have been witness to some of these conversations, and sometimes I am left not quite understanding how strong their feelings were.)
It’s easy to hurt your chances of ‘’ACTUALLY’’ getting your ex back if you do not have a plan to follow or the correct guidance, not to worry though, that’s what I’m here for. After a breakup, most people are often hurt, confused and emotionally drained. These are all common feelings that any human will go through when releasing a loved or dear one and especially when you feel that you have to stay away, which is not always the case. Playing your cards correctly from the beginning gives you a huge advantage. Make sure you have some sort of actual plan. Receiving good advice and tips from others always helps clear confusion and helps give you a sense of direction. Sometimes you need an outsiders perspective on things to see things from a different point of view.
Me and my ex boyfriend broke up last night, I think of him everyday. I can’t sleep he’s always on my mind. I want him back to me :( I don’t know what will I do I miss him. I Want to text, call and see him asap :(((( I don’t want to be stock on this break up what will I do I want him back as soon as possible :( I want to apologize with him. But he said its over, let’s stop this. And I feel sad and hurt at the same time its my fault that’s then. I broke my promise once again and he hates mo for doing that. :( I really want him back :(
I’m starting to change and see the signs, like when were both in similar states or stiuations and he is in worse luck then me I have to watch my words and be supportive, for example we were both signing up for college classes and I got in and had all my classes in, but the college was having alot of technical difficulties with him and there was very little I could do to help him except for try to be on class watch for him
Plan, plan, plan. Fay suggests making an appointment, but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap or a "before-work quickie." Ask friends or family to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation," Fay says. Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun, too, she says. Why not have sex in the kitchen? Or by the fire? Or standing up in the hallway?
My relationship was an open one. We had an argument and i wanted to broke up but went back after 2 days. I later took some space without telling him, its been on for about 4 months. So we didn’t break up but I’m worried he thinks so. He called first one month after the space but i didn’t pick or chat with him. Then 2 weeks later he called again and i picked, we talk for a while about nothing important but didn’t call again. Then sent Christmas and new year message which i replied but nothing else. Then 2 weeks after that i sent him birthday message and called once but he never picked or called back. But 5 days ago he called and sounded so quiet,l. The conversation was really short, i was nice and i didn’t ask to meet him either but right now I’m really worried if things will never improve. We normally use to chat on WhatsApp and i haven’t received a message from him. I don’t know if i should still keep holding on or to move on.
Because this system is only offered in an electronic, downloadable format, you can begin your journey of marital happiness and fulfillment immediately. . . even if it’s 2 AM in the morning! Plus, you never have to worry about facing the lady at the register in the book store. Your purchase is in total privacy and your personal copy of this powerful system will be downloaded to your computer in less than 2 minutes!
WELCOME! My Name is Ed Fisher and I can save your marriage. I’m not a marriage counselor or any type of relationship professional. I call myself an expert, however, because I know how to save a marriage after going through tough times myself and after my own marriage was almost destroyed by marriage counseling. I was able to turn things around in my own marriage and I want to show you the tools that worked for me so you can save your marriage too.
Your ideas seem great, but i feel like my situation may be a little different seeing as how my ex bf is different. Long story short, we had been dating for 9 months and I even lived with him for a bit when i was in between leases. We started getting into a lot of fights that came from his insecurities. He can be a bit short tempered at times as well, and one stupid fight that I caused turned into this big one. I definitely said some things that struck a nerve with him (i was pmsing at the time). So we decided to take a short break. I tried ending the break but he didnt seem ready in which i irrationally broke up with him thinking he didnt want to be with me. It was juvenile of me, I have so many regrets from it. He got mad blah blah blah, so we decided to just go back to taking a break.
Sometimes it can be hard to keep a marriage thriving after a long time, but it doesn't mean the marriage is lost forever. Both of you need to be willing to put in the effort to salvage your marriage. If your husband will not go to counseling, go see a therapist for yourself to get some advice and support. If things don't work out, you can still co-parent your daughter together; many people do this successfully.
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While the normal methods for rekindling a relationship with your ex may not be successful in the case of infidelity, there are other methods that will. Your ex not only feels betrayed and hurt but she feels insecure about herself and her position as well. This situation doesn’t have to mean the end of the road. In some ways it can be easier to regain your relationship after an affair than if your breakup happened for another reason – her feelings for you never changed. She’s just too upset to recognize that they’re still there in the heat of the moment.
I get it and I’ve been there. You miss him, you miss all of his quirks and jokes and the way that he made you feel. You miss the way that YOU felt and the girl that you were when you were with him when the relationship was good. You make an excuse for and justify everything that he did that was wrong, disrespectful and hurtful because you feel like it was you that provoked it and made him act out. You just want him back, no matter what. how to get your ex boyfriend back
Such great advice! For the first time since my bf has been ignoring me hardcore, I smiled at the thought that he’s really just a ninny ? The jerk left without a word and won’t pick up the phone when I call… No explanation just disappeared (I assume he’s my ex now?). I think I can handle ignoring him now. It’ll be hard, but this is encouraging. Thanks!

Seems like you'll get him back. You've seen each other a couple of times and things are going good. It seems like all will work out great! But wait, and re-think it. Don't fall into the trap of thinking all is good now and that you'll just be fine… you may not. People that get back together tend to go back to their old, real ways, because they did not make any real, fundamental changes to their lives.
st. jude i pray that i want a better relationship with my boyfriend rudy open his heart and his eyes and let him see that i really do love him, care for him keep him away from his ex yvette that she doesn’t come between our relationship let him realize that am the woman of his dreams n that i will make him happy n love him forever help him be abetter man for me and my daughter , san jude i really love him please help me change him into a good person and that he just have eyes for me …..amen in the one of the father and son and hoy spirt amen
This kinda relates to me. I dont know who messed it up. I am sure hes still in love with me i am so sure its painful for him to leave me for the second time. I love him so much, like ive never been in love like this before. We were just emotionally uncontrolled at that moment. He did not say good bye he instead said “its not working, I want to be alone now”. We both cried. I knew he tries to pretend hes okay. Its been a week we dont contact each other. I love him.
The fact is, if your ex starts dating someone else soon after a breakup, then it’s definitely a rebound relationship. And rebound relationships never last. In fact, it just means that after you broke up, your ex had a huge hole in their life that they are trying to fill with someone new. In many cases, they rush into it too soon and things get too serious really fast. There is nothing to worry about as the faster it moves, the faster it will end.
I got desperate yesterday and said i will change AGAIN, this time is gonna be different and blahblah. But i confessed about why i didn´t change in the relationship, i didn´t take his words seriously when he nearly broke up and that i know my faults, what i can work on and i know it was wrong that i grieved our past when i was with him, it´s not wrong to grieve, but it affected me so much that i got stuck in overthinking that instead of working on the relationship. He wrote to me today ” my feelings got a little less stronger each time you promised me change and i didn´t see any, i gave you so many chances just because i´ve never felt this way before and i really wanted to be with you, if i only saw A LITTLE change i know my feelings would be as strong as they´ve always been” So he wanted to be with me but he couldn´t stand to give any more chances.

Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
Heyy !!! It’s been two months I and my girl broke up.. As like normal guys v guys were in contact, latter on she kept on tellin you gotta move on and all that.. Recently I avoided textin her callin for lik two days, I had even tried avoiding her even b4 once she herself had called from front to know if I am fine.. I acted all fine.. Nd lst night I just bumped at her in place … V wer together boozing she had come with her friends, even then she ws full time wit me , all off sudden topic off our relationship started I was in tears , she wiped my tears , hugged nd kissed me on forehead .. Nd I got to know through her friends tat even she broke down… I really don know what to do??? I just love her alot!!! Tis is killin me .. Plz help.. Does she still love me ??
By the time men and women enter into a long-term commitment, such as marriage, they are likely to have been through a number of previous relationships. Something was learned by them during those involvements, about the way they begin and end, and about the way they themselves respond to them, so that this most recent relationship has a better chance of lasting. But still, engagements to marry are broken sometimes and about half of all marriages end in divorce. Not uncommonly, the cause of such a rupture is an ongoing infidelity. If a mature man leaves his wife of twenty years, everyone thinks first of the possibility of his having had an affair. It is often so. Often he will say that the marriage had been bad for years, and believe that to be true, but it was only when another woman appeared on the scene that he decided to leave. Of course, there are many other reasons for divorce.
Through marital or couple therapy, the counsellor can help the couple increase effective communication skills, assist in looking at each other’s perspective, discuss what makes a relationship work and what a healthy relationship looks like, help identify specific problems and dynamics of the relationship, understand gridlocked conflicts, and help establish interventions and strategies that will help strengthen conflict management skills.

You see, the real damage is done when one person needs and expects something to change, but the other person is preserving the exact same things the spouse wants to change. For example, there is often a desire for a shift in the power structure of the relationship, but one person resists making any change. The other person who wants the change becomes more and more frustrated.
I need advice. We met on match.com and only dated about 3 weeks but had a great connection from the very beginning. Plus we share a lot in common (we agree about a lot, graduated high school same year, kids are same age). But he broke it off because 1) we moved too fast (didn’t have sex but went further than we intended by date 2) and 2) we’re in different places in our lives – I’m going through a divorce and he’s been divorced for years. I’m devastated. We ended things amicably last week (I didn’t fight it, though I wanted to) and we haven’t been in contact. But he’s been back on match.com already. My question is, what are our chances for trying again in the future? Did moving too fast derail us completely?

If you want to save your failing relationship then open these three things: your eyes, your ears, and your heart.  Active listening involves all three. Eyes have to do with giving your mate your full attention. Look them in the eyes in a conversation. Listen without interrupting. Avoid using terms like, “Yes, but…”  Listening with your heart is showing empathy to your partner.  It communicates that you care.

Make fully clear to your partner what kind of behavior you will or will not put up with — but don't do this in the middle of a fight or while drinking alcohol. If your partner acts in a way you won't put up with or makes a hurtful remark, point out that the comment or action was hurtful, and that you don't want them to repeat it. Keep the volume of your voice low, and use a kind tone. If, on the other hand, your partner tends to become aggressive or hurtful when drinking, then they have a serious problem, which needs to be addressed. You can help, but don't bring up your concerns while your significant other is drinking and being rude. Wait until they are sober and calm, and then express your concerns as calmly as possible.


When things are rocky, having sex or performing acts that pleasure your partner are not always in the cards. But even if you're not in the mood at the moment, there's hope if you actually still want to connect intimately, according to Rachel Russo. She says wanting to have sex even when you are struggling with a relationship, shows that you are deeply bonded to your partner. "If it feels unnatural to withhold sex even when things are rocky, it can indicate that you are thinking about what is best for the relationship in the long term," says Russo. "If you don't want to deprive your marriage of the intimate connection, it is a sign that you really care about each other and want to make the marriage work."
So my boyfriend broke up with me two weeks before Christmas and I’ve tryed everything to get him back. It looks like its hopeless even though we are really good friends now and he seems into me again. I just don’t know if I should see if he really ever liked me or if he still does. We’ve been together before, although it took a year and a half to get back together. I’m wondering of the spark is still there!
Thanks so much for this. I broke up with my boyfriend and want him back. We just kept arguing i was jealous.. he said he only had eyes for me me and i was the love of his life. It has hurt him so much i know.. but im so willing to change.. i followed your tips i look great, have fun and he still looks at me like i am the one but says sex with no emotional strings is how he wants to do it for now as he is still hurting and probablyv thinks ill do it all again..but i won’t.I hope he comes back totally.. at the moment im working on trying to get him tovstart taking me to his local bar with him again.. we went all the time before. im taking itvslowly anyway. I never want to hurt him again

Hello everyone, I must start by saying that I didn’t go into marriage with expectation that it will fail after 8 years. I and my spouse where not compassionate to ourselves. Trying to work out my marriage was self-defeating, we don’t really know why we no longer find ourselves attractive anymore. All we secretly thought was divorce, we couldn’t agree or communicate anymore, it was emotionally difficult moments when we face each other in the bedroom.
My story seems to be a bit different then most. So without trying to bore you completely I’ll give you the basics. I met my ex in high school and boy did I hate her she was that annoying chick in class I couldn’t stand. After high school I began hanging out with her with my best friend, now the big twist begins here. I had left my house with my boy and her there and one thing led to another and they ended up hanging out afterward and having a kid. I wasn’t mad at either of them bc I never expressed my feelings for her before hand. There son was 3 months old when they broke up, I lost contact with my buddy but regained connection with her and as friends went to eat with her. Ever since that day we were inseparable, she was my best friend my lover and in my eyes soon to be wife. Her son was 1 1/2 when we found out we were having a little girl. She did not want to have another child which forced a argument of her wanting a abortion. After consideration she decided it wasn’t the right thing to do and proceeded with the pregnancy. We had our baby girl dec 24,2011 best day of my life. Now she will be 2 In a month me and the ex are broken up and she is out partying like she is 16 everyday I get my daughter. She has lied to me and put me threw a lot but I can’t help but want her back, I mean guys she is the mother of my child. She wants nothing to do with me, took me for child support and custody. Am I crazy for thinking it’s not over and trying every opportunity I get to get her back and persuade her. What could I do to win her over, I love her with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with her, my daughter and her son who I’ve taken in as my own. Help, advice?! Bare with me it’s a open wound.
Is that really the problem? Often, a problem exists because there is a more fundamental issue that has not been addressed. For instance, a husband may load the dishwasher or clean the living room differently than the wife does. She complains that he does not do the work right. Is the problem really about the best ways to do chores? Or is there a more fundamental issue, such as she believes he doesn’t recognize and validate her thoughts and feelings? Now you may be thinking, and especially if you’re a guy, “How in the world did you make that connection?” Well, I haven’t a clue how the professionals do it, but serious research and scholarly papers talk about this kind of thing all the time. Problems are often rooted in other, hidden problems. (Using medical terms, your problem may be a symptom of an underlying cause.)

“He’s the Guy for me,” we need to end things on a good note, and I havent “Lost his Friendship”! WTF!!!! I had no words for him at that moment. I vowed I would’nt call him at ALL after that. Nine days passed & I txt him, “Hello Friend”. Only to never recieve a response. This led to me having a complete MELT DOWN on his VM. It was’nt a name calling blaming episode. It was more of the atleast talk to me if you ever really cared about us sort of thing. After that I went out for a few hours came home and decided I needed to forgive him and love him enough to let him go. SOOOOOO, I txt him before I went to sleep and told him just that I also told him that if found himself ever needing a real friend I would be here for him.. Now what I neeed to know is what if anything should I have done differently? Is there another element that I don’t know about like, some new Vagina dancing around my man???? Should I even care at this point? I really want my man back I LOVE him so much and his kids as well.. What is a women to do? What’s going on here??? PLease HELLLp.

My girl broke up with me over 3 months ago, i did the no contact and contact her after 30 days and we caught up for coffee. We have been going on couple dates but recently she has been dating another guy. She still has feelings she says but does not want to jeopardize her new relationship because she is afraid of the other guy finding out that she is still talking and hanging with her ex. what can you conclude?
my bf and I were in love. we were happy and everything was perfect. then one day he asked me to sext him…I told him I was uncomfortable with doing that and I broke up with him. I kind of went into a depression. some days I felt suicidal. he started dating my “friend” but they don’t seem happy. they’ve been dating since October and they haven’t kissed or anything. I miss him so incredibly much and everyday I regret breaking up with him. he and I are still best friends, and I told him I still love him (even though he’s dating someone). all he said was “I don’t know what to say…” and I cry myself to sleep every night blaming myself for what happened. he’s a great guy and I need him back. I don’t cut myself or do anything like that, but I’m getting worse. I need help. does anyone have any advice?!
Let her see you having a great time. Once you've given her some space and have worked on self-improvement, she'll be much closer to wanting you. But now you have to put all the pieces together and let her see what an amazing guy you are and how much fun it is to be around you. Be strategic. Without looking like a stalker, make sure you're hanging out in some of the same places so she can see what a blast it is to be around you.
Me and my ex met at work. We hit it off the first couple weeks were heaven. We had so much in common and never stopped laughing to the point where we would annoy my roommates. After those few weeks we started dating and he would come stay at my house alot because he lived a town away. The first couple months were great. I started to realize he had trust issues and drank way too much. I left him and he asked me back he quit drinking. I took h back and it was even better then the first time but a few months down the road his jealousy started again and I was very mean to him because of it. He had broken up with me told me he didn’t love me anymore, said he wasn’t attracted and he had someone else. I got so hurt I went out with my best friend and got really drunk. I gave a guy my number because I was so mad at my ex I wanted to make him feel the same way. I ended up calling him after I did that because I knew I didn’t want anyone else. I patched things up and we made up. I never told him about me giving my phone number out because I didn’t want to mess it up. I never spoke to the guy after that night, he never even text. Maybe a month swum the road and things were coming together nicely and the guy from the night out text, my boyfriend saw it. I came clean although we were broken up he is still hurt and feels like he was right all along to not trust me. Just when he was starting to trust that I was different. I know I want to change and not take him for granted like I did or put my friends first. I love him so much and I don’t know what to do. He says he doesn’t want to be together anymore but he says things like he doesn’t want to be around my friend anymore and that he’s moving back home with or without me. He says there is no chance but says things like that. What do I do? I know I messed up by trying to get back at him but it never went farther than giving my number.
I was with my ex for almost 8 years… it’s always been an on and off kindof thing because we were young and dumb in the beginning and then we would argue over parenting, money, the usual stuff. So anyways a year ago I moved out and the kids and I went to live with my grandma. We got back together… things were going really good actually until my grandmother got diagnosed with stage four lung cancer in May and then it was like I was put into over load with stopping working, taking care of her full time, the fact of now my gma has this disease and probably isn’t going to live and taking care of 3 dogs at the time because my brother had his here (thankfully not anymore lol) and 2 kids. My grandma raised me and so shes like a gma/mom/best friend. If I was going to Walmart my gma was going with me.. we are that close. So anyways though when all that was going on I kindof pushed him away by shutting everything out. I couldn’t cry over my gma, I didn’t want to be touched, nothing… So needless to say we separated in July after the fact I completely ruined his birthday because I did it on that day… I was yes, a complete ass. We’ve both made our mistakes and what not BUT….now he says hes “talking” to another girl that he’s interested in. but he’s confusing me because he says he has feelings for her but then he turned around and was talking about how things could always change and he want to be with me. but that he’s scared the same things are going to happen again….
Relationships often end in a whirlwind of doubt and bitter accusation. You probably said a few things you didn't mean, and she fought back. Now that you've had a little bit of time to think about what's been lost, you know you want her back. If you put your heart and mind to it, you might be able to win her over all over again. Fixing whatever went wrong in the first place can be all it takes to prove that you've changed.
Occasional conflict is a part of life, according to New York-based psychologist Susan Silverman. But if you and your partner feel like you're starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day -- i.e. the same lousy situations keep repeating day after day -- it's time to break free of this toxic routine. When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues.
To begin the process, I recommend that you have what I call the Perfection Conversation with her. Essentially, you need to acknowledge to her that you are not perfect (in terms of how you’ve been behaving and treating her), but for the sake of your love, you are willing to continually make a serious effort to become a better man for her. In the same conversation, you also need to get her to acknowledge and realize that she is not perfect either.
I apologized for being very hard on him and demanding. And of course there were a few times when we got together to have sex. But things were getting too difficult because i still had incredibly strong feelings. all the while I got the impression that he was distancing himself from me. So I decided for my own sanity that I would keep my distance I asked him to do the same and that we would not contact each other for as long as it took. Reading this article has made me realize that I have made quite a few mistakes and that keeping my distance throughout would’ve been the most beneficial to our potential relationship. I also understand the importance of sex. but sex has never been an issue for us. yet I feel that by making myself so available to him I somehow devalued myself and spoiled our chances at reunification. I know he has other lovers. It’s not that fact that bothers me but the fact that he claims to no longer be in love me. And I guess what bothers me even more is that I am not able to let go. This may have to do with the fact that every time I asked about us all he would ever say was that he can’t give me an answer. After two months of silence I decided to travel home for the holidays for a month and asked to see him before I go. We had a wonderful time and that left me feeling positive. i spent the holidays with my family but thought of him often. We had limited text and email communication during my one month away and i returned from my holidays only to find that I was missing him more than ever. So I got in touch with him. He seemed a bit reluctant to meet right away but I like the poor sap that I am was insistent. i had questions for him but I disnt want to address them in an email. In all honesty my intention to meet that evening was to talk about our situation. I wanted to know how he was feeling what he was up to, progress reports et cetera. What I didn’t expect was to start asking him questions about his lovers. It turns out he’s had a few which is understandable given he’s an incredibly sexual person. Interestingly this information didn’t bother me what really bothered me was that he told me once again that he was no longer in love with me. But getting to that information was quite difficult. He skirted around the issue again saying that he doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring and that I’m a very important person in his life. Clearly he’s not ready to let go even if he doesnt want anything from me. I on the other hand am still very much in love with him and given that our relationship went deeper than any before. Granted we had our issues and we didn’t really make much of an effort to make things work. But both of us are really trying to fundamentally change. Of course as usual I could not resist him I had been fantasizing about him for months and so I invited him home and he did not refuse And here I am two days later not so much feeling regret as realizing that this is a lost cause. I feel more and more like I’ve made all the mistakes One could possibly make in such a situation. But the most fundamental mistake of all is that deep down I have little respect and love for myself. Most of the time I’m okay with myself but in this particular situation with this particular man I seem to somehow lose myself it’s almost as though I lose my identity but I really think that it’s just a matter of being truly in love with him. I don’t know which direction to go with this. I sometimes think that the only solution for me is to find someone else so i can really put him behind me. The only problem is I have no desire to be with anyone else. I know that what we had when it was working was unlike anything either of us has experienced. And it’s interesting that the breakup inspired us to change in so many ways. I do hope sometime in the future that I will be with him as a new woman and he as a new man. I believe That people can fundamentally change if they really want to. But the price we pay to grow is high.
I love him. How much i want this to work. Please better our communication and help me to not lash out destructively and instead learn to control my emotions. Please allow me to heal from any hurt as well as heal him of any of my wrongdoings. Please St. Jude I need you now more than ever, I do not want to give up on this man. I pray he doesn’t give up on me and instead allow us to have another chance to make one another better. Please I beg of you. I do not want to start something new, this has too much potential to be great. I plead we have another opportunity to love each other wholeheartedly with no temptation.

Alright, lets say that I was trying to get an ex girlfriend back and I had made it this far into the step by step process I am outlining here. I took out a sheet of paper and wrote down what I thought our best couple experiences were together. For the sake of this page lets say that me and my ex had an experience where we were watching a football game outdoors and it was really cold. She was getting very cold so I offered her my jacket.

My bf just broke up with me 2 weeks ago (with good reason, we weren’t compatible), but I still think I can better myself. This article has completely lifted my spirits because I still have thoughts of wanting to win him back. It gave me a reason to not contact him right away (although I was tempted to at times, of course), and to better myself such as looking more attractive, etc. If in a month or more I am already over him, I am still going to be a better person. Thank you so much for this article!! I will save it for future use when I need to lift my spirits again.
We’ve added many techniques on how to work on your inner state of being, because advice is great, but in order to lead a harmonious life you need to have the resources that will help you. We add self-work techniques to complement the instructions on how to get your girlfriend back, so that you feel competent and sure of yourself. We know how important it is to be happy with yourself! Additionally, through years of consultations, we learned how it is possible to influence your girlfriend through people who are close to her, and this material can be found in the new edition of the book.
And now he is texting me everyday, not a lot but to know how i’m doing, says I can talk to him whenever I want, that he wants us to stay best friends like we used to and that he wants me to “be myself” with him, text him whatever I want…But I know he doesnt really want to talk to me, like if he has a problem he will go to someone else. I think he is mostly being nice, and trying to ease the break up for himself by not losing me completely (he said that if we keep talking its easier cause it’s “more normal”).
My boyfriend and I have not spoken in a week and a half. He has depression and gets upset easily. I really love him and I still have hope for our relationship. Please Saint Jude cure us both of all the pain we are facing and touch his heart. I really want him to realize how much I love him and how I help and support him. Please that he can see that all I want to do is to help him heal. Please that he calls me soon and that we are able to improve our relationship. Help him heal and understand. Please that we can talk soon and that it is peaceful. Please I love him. Thank you Saint Jude.
Whats your opinion in all this? Do you text/call or not? What is going thru his mind about this girl that he’s known for 1.5 months that he doesn’t hang out with, he only texts her he says but they have a “connection”. I don’t see any girls commenting or liking things on his Facebook but when I’m around and his phone is around he’s quick to make sure he doesn’t leave it or I don’t go thru it.
The first mistake to avoid would be to start a discussion about potentially getting back together. YOU as the man should NEVER be the one to START a conversation about that. Because if YOU bring that up, it indirectly tells your ex that you don’t have other dating options in your life that are on HER mate-value level… Since if you did have such options, then why would you be so eager to start a discussion with her about getting back together?

Just imagine a scenario where you don’t want to talk to a person and they are sending you a text message every 5 minutes. Your inbox is filled with hundreds of messages by them, even though you haven’t replied to even one. And later on at night, that person gets drunk and calls you and start saying complete and utter non-sense. What would you think of that person? Would it make you want to start a new relationship with them?
He said that he didn’t think that we had enoughin common, which isn’t true because we would do so many old and new things together. When we broke up he said that he felt like we stopped being friends but then later saud the he was still my friend because we were really good friends. He also still wanted to hug and touch me and told me that he still wanted to do those things. None ofthis made any sense to me.
Some of these problems include conflicts about who does what about the house or who decides what to do on a particular weekend.  Other problems dissolve when it is understood– however long it takes to make the other person understand– just how strongly that person feels about certain matters. Examples of these solvable problems are: how much time one person spends at work or away from the other, which chores are really very difficult for the other person, how much sex they should have, how to handle disobedient children, how to spend money as investments or on vacation, how messy or clean the house should be, who does the cleaning, how to deal with fears of one sort or another. One spouse is not made weaker by considering what the other needs or wants.
My boyfriend left me 2 weeks ago ;( evrything was absolutely amazing and perfect. I love him and his little girl so much and i feel heartbroken. We had 8 mounths relationship in witch we lived together….I think i was a bit jelous of his ex, the mother of his daughter, witch i regret now ;( but is it too late? I think he loves me, despite when he left me he said he doesn’t want a relationship and he doesn’t love me the same way i do. Is it possible to tell me all this just to make me go away, or to protect me, or I really dunno….and that’s killing me…. I haven’t slept proparly, i haven’t eaten proparly, i hate my job ( and I think that was one of the reasons we start having problems, cause i was really moody ) and i just want him back. PLEASE, i need help, i am so confused and hurted. .. If anybody have any advice i am happy to listen
Please lord I ask that you allow Bryan and I to get through this difficult time. I pray that the anxiety he deals with lessens so that we may be given a chance to truly work on our relationship. We are blessed to have one another but as he steps back for a break, all I can do is hope that your guidance will give us the strength to heal and to see that our love should be embraced, cherished and honored instead of change into such sadness that will leave a permanent, indelible mark on our hearts.
Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
please heal my relationship.. I love my boyfriend with all my heart but unfortunately our relationship is falling apart. He no longer feels attracted to me. he doesn’t show respect towards me. We were so good together but now everything is falling apart please help me get his love back make him love me more than ever make our relationship stronger and fix the distance between us.

So me and my ex fiance are no talking terms right now.. she left me a month ago and still wears the necklace I bought her and she wont give me the ring back because she says I bought it for her so its hers. I dont like to feel weak but I want her back and its super hard to not see or talk to her. She says im scum to her but then again she still has pictures of me and notes I sent her. Im at a loss right now what should I do to get her back
God please help me, i am asking you to please help me save my relationship.my best friend and i had a fallout and are not on good terms. I truly want this relationship to work out. I love spending time with him and we have so much fun together. Things were going so well n then we had a fight today. God please help me help him see that im a good girl and that wr can be happy together. God please i need him in my life. Please help him to see me for the good and forgive me for our past issues. I am so heart broken right now. Gos please save us. Please give me the opportunity to talk this out with him and make everything okay. Please god. Dont let him give up on me
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