Hi Natasha! You’re awesome! My boyfriend broke up with me, and I’m feeling terrible… my question is, my bf was not a narcissist.. I made mistakes and I started to pushing him because he lived with his mother, he is 39… and I’m 31 and I didn’t felt his priority, we had plans to get married, I’m applying no contact since he broke up with me, I didn’t begged him and I was calm, that was almost a month ago and he hasn’t reach me…. do you think that this works for a man who is not a narcissist? He is not a bad guy.
How can you prevent this? Really, change. Make him change too. When you become better, you have the right to expect him to get better too. Build a relationship where you grow and improve together as individuals and partners, not enemy's that slow each other's progress down. He is not yours and never will be, not even when you both have a ring on your finger, so don't view him as a thing you've got a right over, like owning a car or your shoes.
Ask them if they want to save the relationship. If they say yes, tell them (calmly) that you don't feel like they are putting forth the effort. Tell them exactly what you need from them, if possible. Couples counseling might be beneficial in this case. If they don't respond positively that they want to save the relationship, move on. You can't change their mind.
Last friday we had our last fight, and he broke up with me the morning after. He said that it was too much for him, that he was not cut out for this. And he added that he doesnt feel the same way as he used to, he is exhausted, he never has time to think about himself cause our communication problems and my anxiety are always in his head. He said he still loves me but that its not the same, its broken. And that he wont change his mind, even though a part of him wishes that we could work again in the future. We broke up over the phone but he invited me to his place after, and of course I came to try and reason with him. We had sex, and it was hard. But we didnt fight, and he insisted on being friends.
If you’re noticing that your ex is losing interest in you or talking with you, getting on with their own life, moving on and moving past your former relationship, avoiding your calls, are always busy instead of wanting to talk or never seem to be around when you’re calling, you may be a little uncomfortable. These signs don’t necessarily mean that her decision to leave you is set in stone. There are some techniques that go outside the box that can work in even the most hopeless of circumstances. You just need to change the way she sees you and get her mindset to change. It’s not as hard as it sounds.

Breakup is hard as it is, especially if you are still obsessing over your ex and wondering all the time whether or not they miss you. On top of that, if your ex starts dating someone else, it’s almost feels like someone punched you really hard in your stomach (while wearing a wolverine claw). Nothing can prepare you for this feeling. But it happens. And no, it’s nothing to worry about.
For a long time you felt pain from your relationship. Most likely, it hurt quite a lot when she left. The problem lies in the fact that you didn’t have the knowledge to help you steer your relationship in the right direction and be happy in it. Many men know the art of meeting and courting women, so it is easy to fall in love with them. But with time, they lose something very important and their girlfriends get disappointed, eventually losing interest and leaving. Using years of experience, research and observations, I was able to work out a step-by-step system that can help you rekindle the passion and get the relationship with your girlfriend to the same happy place it was before. In this course, I lay out many situations and clearly explain how to act in each one of them. If you follow every advice I give you, your girlfriend won’t want to stay away from you.
Heyy !!! It’s been two months I and my girl broke up.. As like normal guys v guys were in contact, latter on she kept on tellin you gotta move on and all that.. Recently I avoided textin her callin for lik two days, I had even tried avoiding her even b4 once she herself had called from front to know if I am fine.. I acted all fine.. Nd lst night I just bumped at her in place … V wer together boozing she had come with her friends, even then she ws full time wit me , all off sudden topic off our relationship started I was in tears , she wiped my tears , hugged nd kissed me on forehead .. Nd I got to know through her friends tat even she broke down… I really don know what to do??? I just love her alot!!! Tis is killin me .. Plz help.. Does she still love me ??
I don’t think anyone should worry so much about getting him or her back. Sometimes relationships just don’t work and that’s okay. Sure, it hurts like hell, but that doesn’t matter as much. Don’t stay in relationships. And for godsake if he dumps you, then just get on with life. You shouldn’t be begging and pleading to get back together with someone who treated you poorly. Yes, you probably made mistakes but the point should be that so did he. You’re not the only one at fault here. Try to remember that, when you want to get back together with him, just think do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? Not only that but if one night can make up his mind, then do you really want him? There are better guys out there that actually care about more than sex. You can do so much better. Take time to heal yourself and worry about fixing yourself for you.
Make a list of your differences and disagreements. Marriage struggles aren’t always related to major events, like cheating or heated arguments. You can't move forward if you don't know what's keeping you back, so take an honest look at your relationship issues. Try to be specific instead of listing things like “we don’t get along.” Ask yourself (and discuss with your spouse) focused questions, such as:[1]
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I know I posted something similar to this but I would like more advice from everyone. Would appreciate it. So you see,my ex boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago after being with him for 16 months. Im 23 and he’s 26. He said he has thought it through and wants to be friends. I am so heartbroken that it has been so difficult for me to do school work and everything else. He’s someone I truly love and I thought we had something special. He was someone who I thought I was going to marry someday. He told me he loved me and would never leave me, well I guess I got fooled on that one. We did talk about our future about getting married and what not and so I need help in showing him what he’s missing and see how lucky of a wonderful woman he had in his life. So I need help in getting him back permanently.To also add that he told me that he can’t imagine his life without me and it would be weird if I wasn’t in his life anymore so I don’t know if that means something or not.
This advice goes against every single natural inclination you have and it’s hard. You’ll want to answer the points she’s making and show her why she’s wrong. You’ll want to get a second chance or promise to fix your mistakes. You’ll keep pushing your points and think that since she’s not answering you right away; you’re getting through to her. You’re not. You’re just making her uncomfortable. All you’re doing is making yourself appear needy. She’s not going to forget this behavior down the line when you try to win her back.
Apologize. Think deeply about anything you did or didn't do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the relationship, and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology. Take full responsibility for the offense, without blaming your ex, giving excuses, or expecting an apology (or even forgiveness) in return. It may very well be that your ex contributed to the situation, but you cannot apologize for someone else; you can only apologize for yourself. Leave him or her out of it and odds are the apology will be reciprocated.

It is natural to feel anxious and sad when this happens. Your anguish may lead you to attempt to use various manipulation tactics to get the upper hand in your relationship. But playing games to gain or regain the power in a relationship is bound to lead to its demise. There are many relationships in which one person holds more power than the other, but these tend to be extremely unhealthy. Physically or verbally abusive relationships, relationships in which one partner is cheating, and relationships in which one partner has more assets than the other (that are not common property) are often doomed to fail or to lead to heartbreak and unhappiness.
Another year goes by. It was summer and I was having the time of my life. I decided to take a break from dating and focus on myself. Then I ran into him in Central Park on a Saturday afternoon. At last, he was single and I was single, we were both living in NYC, now was the time. But he didn’t contact me after that. So I decided to contact him. I sent him a friendly message on Facebook and opened the door wide for him to ask me out… but he didn’t take my expertly laid out bait.
I understood so much more about where our feelings were coming from. I understood my wife much more and I felt more sympathy for her situation. I understood that I was driving her away with some of my actions and they were easy to correct. Bottom line: We are now much more patient and loving with each other. We are happier than we have ever been and our marriage is on track. Was it hard? Not really. It was more… like “ah-hah!” It took some effort, but honestly, with a bit of time and patience it was easier than I thought to turn things around.
And you always want what you think is good for you. So how can you make yourself better? You can start from appearance (new haircut, new clothes, get some muscles, eat healthier, etc) and a good attitude/be open-minded. Join meditation/yoga/learn new things. Upgrade yourself with your outer appearance and inner attitude. Be the best version of yourself.

Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.

You have spent a month not contacting your ex. You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past. Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Make no mistake about it, negative responses are never good. However, they don’t EVER mean that you should give up right away. It just means you have to be smarter about how you approach things. Lets take a look at a negative response example (from my past) this is a true story.
Please lord I ask that you allow Bryan and I to get through this difficult time. I pray that the anxiety he deals with lessens so that we may be given a chance to truly work on our relationship. We are blessed to have one another but as he steps back for a break, all I can do is hope that your guidance will give us the strength to heal and to see that our love should be embraced, cherished and honored instead of change into such sadness that will leave a permanent, indelible mark on our hearts.
Your article gave me hope. There is no question on any level but that I am the best sex he’s ever had and on top of that he says no one has ever treated him like I have. Yet he has walked away. I am devastated. But he has had some family and work issues this year and all I did was whine I was selfish. So now I have let him go. Please tell me the mindvlowing genuine sex snd the fact that I treated him nice will bring him back (it always has before but he seems indifferent to me..being very distant) . He has come back after some pretty bad fhts in the beginning (we got over that years ago) just want to give him his space. The problem is he has a shallowness to him so if he hooks up with someone hot he will actually feel good because he looks good with her not because he feels good like he feels with me. Its sad to watch. His self esteem is bad. I wanted him to feel loved and he did..why is it never enough?

When things are rocky, having sex or performing acts that pleasure your partner are not always in the cards. But even if you're not in the mood at the moment, there's hope if you actually still want to connect intimately, according to Rachel Russo. She says wanting to have sex even when you are struggling with a relationship, shows that you are deeply bonded to your partner. "If it feels unnatural to withhold sex even when things are rocky, it can indicate that you are thinking about what is best for the relationship in the long term," says Russo. "If you don't want to deprive your marriage of the intimate connection, it is a sign that you really care about each other and want to make the marriage work."

Give yourself permission to stop trying when you're ready. No matter how good things used to be, or how much one party wants the relationship to keep going, sometimes it's clear that it has to end. If you've already put in effort trying to save the relationship, and you no longer feel love or the will to try to reignite it, it's OK not to force yourself to keep trying. Don't spend months or years dragging it out and criticizing yourself for not being able to make it work. It's OK to choose happiness over self-sacrifice. When one person stops participating in the relationship, it's better for both people if it ends.
hi, I’m a lesbian and was with this girl for two years we were so attached to each other and stuff, but then my friend ruin it, she lied to her and told her stuff about me that wasn’t even true. after that my ex replaced me with one of her friends she said their just friends, i told her not to talk to her she didn’t listen and things started going wrong then we broke up. a month later she came back I never stopped thinking about her. she said misses me and that she needed time. but she treats me like crap now, she calls me names.. then when I’m sad she asks why. I don’t understand her, she even asked me out again but said it in a way that disgusted me. I didn’t answer! I really want her back, please tell me what to do? and how to get her back I can’t live without her please help me.. I want to win her heart again please help???”
what if he doesnt want to b with u..??what if u r ready to forgive him for his every faults even ready to say sorry infinite times without my fault but he is not ready to feel regret for anything he did with me to hurt me…what if u want him for whole ur life but he doesnt ready to listen ur voice ….what if u wana do everything anything for him but he hate ur every action and ur feelings……???
I have to admit I have been doing all this ever since the last time u email me, not only you but my closest friends told me the same thing and I still didn’t listen until yesterday I had a conversation with two people I trust the most and remember what he said and did and decided that that was it. Sadly I still see him at work but I will listen and follow everyone’s advice. Finally!! ????????
Lee Baucom’s Save the Marriage package of materials is a good starting point, as is John Gottman’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Baucom does a great job in showing you how to get a different perspective on all aspects of your marriage (and even on perspectives themselves). Gottman describes the dynamic happily married couples have that keep the negative feelings they have for one another from overwhelming their positive feelings. The book includes short tests and exercises designed to help you understand that dynamic, and to get it for your marriage.
My boyfriend and I are in complicated situation, we want to be together but we can’t because of his mother, so we are just being friends now and he says that we are more than that but less then couples. I don’t know what to think cause’ sometime it feels like he doesn’t want to talk to me or that he’s only giving me short answers when we text but when you skype, its a whole different situation. When we skype, it feels like that we were still going out and so its confusing me so much. We would still be together if his mum didn’t poke her nose in our business but I understand that he’s respecting her wants but it hurts me. She think that she is doing a good thing when it’s causing so much pain for me to not even be able to see him in person, I need help to know what to do please.
The wife of a patient of mine told him she was leaving him because he bought a lamp without first consulting him. When I asked to see her, she explained to me that it was not about the lamp. The problem was he never consulted her about matters that affected both of them. Although she had spoken to him many times, he truly had not understood her. It is not uncommon for someone to persistently misunderstand a spouse if he is asked to do things that seem foreign to him, possibly because of the dynamics of the family in which he grew up. No matter how many times she had spoken to him he had not taken her seriously. In the setting of my office, however, it was possible, finally, to get through to him. He had never intended to ignore her and had not realized that that was what he was doing. They had had a failure to communicate. This problem could be managed.
Just a heads up as this is an extremely important section. Remember when we talked abut how you are going to implement the no contact rule for about a month (30 days?) Yes, well you are not going to just sit on your butt and twiddle your thumbs during this time. No, you are going to work towards your goal of a new and better relationship by focusing on the one thing you can control, yourself!
For example, a boy comes to you in a bar and offers you to buy a drink. What will be your response? Most probably you would not value his friendship that much because you didn’t work for it. You may though of saying ‘YES’ to him but very next moment after buying drink you wouldn’t be giving any attention to him. Why?  This is because you didn’t work for it.
DONT blow up her phone. and DONT beg for her, thats unattractive and foolish. you have to show her a friend, and that you dont need her. you wont be able to make her jealous because shell be glad youre gone. you have to meet her in person, and show her a man, and that you are serious. dont show her a little kid who wants her to feel bad for you. show her a man, looking for a serious relationship. dont be needy, and dont let your messages exceed double digits to her in a day.

Okay, so My situation is very different and I’m still in need of some advice (this was VERY helpful though, THANK YOU!). When my ex and I first met, it was through some friends when we went out to a bar. We jumped into a relation just a few weeks after meeting, which I felt was very soon for me. I felt that he and I hadn’t really connected completely and that during the relationship I didn’t know him as well as well as I did previous boyfriends because we weren’t really close before we decided to give the relationship a try, unlike my past relationships where we were friends for at least a month or two before taking the next step. But that’s not the main reason why we broke up. I had trust issues from the past few relationships I had been in. I was cheated on multiple times, led on, and in the most recent relationship before my ex and I, I was left for another girl. I couldn’t really get over all of that and instead of letting it go, I carried that with me and lived in fear of the day that my now ex-boyfriend would do the same. After having a serious talk and explaining that to him, he made it clear that I didn’t trust him, but trust is one of the most important factors in a relationship. He felt that because I didn’t trust him and because I hurt his feelings by telling him how I felt, that he couldn’t trust me. So, we came to a conclusion and decided that since I felt we were’t very close to begin with and since we both felt that we don’t trust each other enough to be in a relationship, that we’d start over as friends and see where we end up. I explained to him that I care about him and that I don’t plan on seeing anyone else unless he finds someone new, that I’m exclusive to him. And he said he was exclusive to me as well. So my question is, how do I earn his trust back? I’m ready to be with him again, I’m not worried about him hurting me anymore like my exes did before and I have no doubts about weather or not I’d be able to make this work on my end. So how do I earn his trust? I plan on spending time with him and taking the advice already given from this article, so what else can I do? I know I need to be patient and I understand that it’s going to be hard since I’m so ready to give this another try. Is there anything else that I need to understand before I really work my ass off to get him back?
My boyfriend broke up with me 6months ago..saying things like, I want I be on my own, go out with mates, we weren’t getting on anymore. Which I thought was bizarre because we would always joke around, we were together for 4&half years. Took him only 2 months to find a new girlfriend he seems to of forgotten all about me, I haven’t saw him in them 6 months nor contacted I would life to get back with him As he is my best friend. And I truly love him. Any help appreciated
My girl broke up with me a few days ago said she can’t trust me, we don’t spend a lot of time together, my fault really, I miss her so much but she said she wants to forget about me, which she said is very hard, she got some bad advice from her friend and me working late doesn’t help, sooooo she feels like I’ll cheat on her we had talked bout marriage but never made any real decisions, right now she doesn’t wanna know about me, what should I do? Any suggestions?
Out of the blue he just stopped talking to me. We go to the same school and there we usually talk but one day he started avoiding me and stopped texting me, too. A couple days later I found him before school and tried to ask him what was going on. He didn’t really answer. When I asked him if he still wanted to be together, all he did was shrugged. I was very upset at his response and just walked away.
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday night I couldn’t believe it I was really hurt and I have been texting him a bunch.I’m pretty sure I just ruined any chance of getting back together.he said he likes me a little still but says he’s not upset about breaking up with me.its so confusing and I hope I didn’t ruin the chance to get back together because I love him a lot.I’m really upset.
The next thing I want you to do is to stop running from your painful emotions and embrace them. We women tend to stuff down our emotions for fear that a man will get scared by them and run away. But the real truth is that men LOVE our emotional nature – it’s drama that they can’t tolerate. When we learn to get in touch with our feelings and express them in a non–judging, non–critical way, a man will not feel blamed and will feel COMPELLED to open his heart to you.
Negative responses do not feel good at all. It really sucks and can feel like the end of the world especially if you put a lot of work into getting your ex boyfriend back. Your best bet in these situations is to simply not respond at all and understand that your ex is still processing their emotions. It doesn’t necessarily mean that all hope is lost it just means you may need to be more patient and try again in a week or so.
He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?
My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me two days ago. He was an alcoholic and he got mean when he drank and he ended up going to jail because he scared me.(that was like7 months to a year of our relationship) He went to rehab and is so much better. When we would fight he would always throw “puting him in jail” in my face. I’m not trying to be the hero I just wanted him to get help. I was very insecure and clingy in the relationship and he gave me so many chances to change. I would be doing really great then hit a bump in the road and make a mistake and he would blow up and dump me and I’d convince him I’m doing better, and he would say one last chance. Well the night before I made a huge mistake and he said that’s it were done! He started calling me horrible names and telling me that he hated me so much. I asked if I could come see him to talk about it and he said yes drive really fast (meaning drive fast and wreck) everything I would say he would laugh at like I was a joke. He told me to never ever talk to him again. He also said the soonest he would ever talk to me was 10 years. Idk if he said all that because he was angry, or if he really meant it. I’m not going to communicate with him for a while. But idk if he will even contact me because he erased my number and blocked me on fb. Which I’m kinda glad he did so I don’t have to look at him and see his posts. I love him so much and I’m working on bettering myself. But after that idk what to do….

When people explain to me why they stay in unsatisfactory relationships long past the point where family and friends and everyone else encourage them to leave, they often say, “I love him/her.” I know that that is the real reason. Love has evolved as a powerful device to keep people together despite any defect or deficiency of a partner. Nature requires them to stay together long enough to have children. But it is not a good reason. As more or less rational animals, we can make decisions that promote our own individual interests. People who are capable of falling in love once can fall in love again and again if that first relationship breaks apart. The issue each person has to decide in the midst of a bad marriage or a bad affair is whether it is possible to be happy in that relationship—and, really, whether it is possible to be happier with someone else. Unfortunately, the alternative that occurs to many is not another partner, it is loneliness.


Hi Desireen. Nope…you are not crazy! You just want to figure out how to make things feel better for yourself and improve your chances. Its OK that you may have made some mistakes. He made plenty to. We all do. What matters is going forward and what you do. So its good to have an ex recovery plan, both for yourself and also doing things to optimize your chances of getting your ex back. My program is all about that. Go to my site’s home page to learn more about my ebooks, tools, resources, and many other things!
My vibe was affected by stress of school and radiated out into other areas of my life without my realizing…granted my ex never communicated how I was making him feel, but the breakup made me realize what had happened and how i can get those stress levels down and vibe up…I am prepared it is too late…he will never be able to share those vibes. But if he doesn’t hes also missing out because I feel good, a little sad it didn’t work out, but good overall.
He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?

I know I posted something similar to this but I would like more advice from everyone. Would appreciate it. So you see,my ex boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago after being with him for 16 months. Im 23 and he’s 26. He said he has thought it through and wants to be friends. I am so heartbroken that it has been so difficult for me to do school work and everything else. He’s someone I truly love and I thought we had something special. He was someone who I thought I was going to marry someday. He told me he loved me and would never leave me, well I guess I got fooled on that one. We did talk about our future about getting married and what not and so I need help in showing him what he’s missing and see how lucky of a wonderful woman he had in his life. So I need help in getting him back permanently.To also add that he told me that he can’t imagine his life without me and it would be weird if I wasn’t in his life anymore so I don’t know if that means something or not.
My ex and I broke up a few weeks ago because he started hanging out with new friends that I never liked because they are all bad boys. After 2 years and 6 months in the relationship he suddenly changed his mind about us. He started texting other girls which he said was his friends he even had pictures of them on his phone. I didn’t like that at all because I saw that these girls are starting to like him. So basically it was my fault he broke up with me for being insecure, clingy and not trusting him. He told me he doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship right now but he still loves me. He wants to explore life without a girlfriend and not wanting to hurt me when he meet up with new girls and such. I really do love him with all my heart, and maybe he just needs some space to think, or maybe our relationship got a bit boring. I am so willing to follow these steps to get him back, I’m so not going to lose him to a bunch of girls!

Having issues in your marriage/relationship? I have been rejected by my husband of 4years,it hurts so much been nelegect all the time, I confronted my husband and he say it’s not working and needs a divorce.. I felt depressed and needed solution cause I love him so much. I went online for solution or counseling, when I stumbled on a testimonial page. People with similar problem as mine. I was lucky a lady left an email for me to contact, I took a bold step cause I was so depressed and feel like dying.. I contacted this great man, prophet Osaze, who prayed for me and assured me of my husband return to my arms with 48hrs of his prayer, behold after that prayer night, my husband came home pleading for my forgiveness, it’s our 2year today together after the prayer and my husband has never changed towards loving me.. contact prophet Osaze today via : (spirituallove at hotmail . com)
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.
I just hope we get back. We talk but not as much. Look depressed in class when he don’t talk to me. I want to change myself. He’s the only thing that makes my day. God please let everything work. Everyone please pray for me that get him back. Tomorrow I’m actually going to talk to him. Go please let this conversation go well tomorrow, I don’t want to bring up the past, I want to work on the future with him. Please GOD, I’m begging you please god let everything go well between us. I never I want to make the same mistake ever. I know I might be 13 but you can found love at any age. And just because y’all say I love you doesn’t prove anything, you have to show that person how much you love them. And that’s what I have to do. But lady’s out their, if are reading this y’all both have to comment to what y’all say. Keeping a promise is one. I lost someone that was important to me, now I’m trying to get this person back. But I’m not getting in his face I’m backing up a little
You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.
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