My honest advice is to focus on you. What were your goals before her? Reach them. Find new ones if you need to. Dont go looking for her or any other woman. If she remembers she loves you or that she likes you even, she will talk to you if she decides to. If not, some other woman will someday. Just put yourself in social situations when your ready. If you want to spend the rest of your life sad bexause you lost her, than go ahead. Its your life. Fact is, we men are the commited ones. We decide and we stick to it but we unfortunately dont see the womans needs. We often think they are too needy or dramatic and dont see that whats minor to us is major to them. Every woman has her breaking point. If you dont change but keep promising to, she will reach it. I’ve been in love twice and the first time lasted less than 10 months because she never really loved me. This one almost ten years because she loved me deeply. I sometimes think I would have better odds of getting back the one who never loved me.
If you’re already involved in a platonic friendship with your ex-girlfriend, you can turn the situation around. They key thing to do is to start to pull away. You want your ex to get the sense that she is losing her hold on you and you could be starting to move on without her. Right now she is counting on your friendship and hasn’t considered the possibility that you wouldn’t be a part of her life. There are specific actions you can take at this time to make a romance more appealing. Get her to see you as a potential partner again, and her feelings towards you will soon change.
Johnny Cassell was pivotal in my decision to travel 5000 miles to establish a relationship I had completely misunderstood. His advice provided unfounded insight that I allowed my ego to overlook. Whether you are confident or not…this highly calm, collective and intelligent expert in dating can make you realise the answers to your relationship troubles. Consider him the best friend, confidante or muse in your life.
Be honest with each other. Being honest is a kind of vulnerability, and by being honest with your partner, you show that you trust him or her. Try opening up about what you're thinking and feeling. When you're vulnerable, you're inviting your partner in and asking him or her to be equally as honest. However, it's important to continue using "I" statements to tell how you feel instead of blaming the other person.
We also know that there are exceptions. There are relationships that probably should not stay together, such as those with physical violence, cruel and ongoing verbal abuse, extreme anger management issues, or long-term unaddressed substance abuse, for example. If you're in a situation like that, please eek the help of your local crisis management center.
If you want your relationship to get back on track, then you need to be humble and accepting what happened. You can’t get your ex boyfriend back by pointing fingers at him. You have to be humble throughout the whole discussion as this is the best approach to tackle this situation, and it will make your ex comfortable with you which will mend broken hearts.
Dear God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, grandma, grandpa, all the Angels and Saints and Archangels and anyone else I may have missed. Please help me with my relationship. We’ve been together a little over a year and both have young autistic children who are not getting along. We are trying to blend a family and keep moving forward in the right direction but lately have been stressed and fighting. My boyfriend is having a hard time and he’s closing up and giving up on us. Please pray for me and for the five of us. Please pray for my boyfriend. Help him have an open heart and mind and realize that we need each other and will overcome this. Please pray for him and anything he is going through that I do not know about. Please pray for our two little girls as well as the oldest. Please help them get along. Please help me and my jealous ways and help me to fight off all of my insecurities. Please pray for us tonight and everyday and to ward off anyone’s negative thoughts. Please in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Broke up with my ex after 6 years, he was manipulative, a liar and a cheat. As soon as we split up he started dating another girl. I asked him about it and he denied it. Anyway, it’s been 7 weeks now and he has been in constant contact with me. Last week it all come out that he was dating that girl all along. He admitted it all to me and told me he wanted me back, I foolishly told him that we could sort things out. He then decided he didn’t want me back and has now run back to that girl. It’s been a week since this happened and I haven’t heard off him since. I know I should not want a person like that back in my life. But I just want him to regret what he’s done and come begging for me back. Will he be sorry? And Is this girl just a rebound or does he really like her? I can’t stop obsessing over him. Every minute of the day he’s on my mind and I constantly stalk him and her on social media.
“I recently got back in touch with my ex and we’re trying to make it work again. What I felt really helped me through the process was the no contact rule for at least three months and truly working on yourself and learning to find happiness outside of the relationship. I got involved with different hobbies, such as sports/working out to make myself feel good, as well as go back to salsa dancing which was something I love to do.”
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.
It is important to take time after breaking up and before trying to get your ex back to examine your own emotions and decide if you truly should be with that person. Rekindled relationships often suffer from a lack of trust and can be more likely to cycle on-again-off-again with repeated breakups. If you're not 100% sure that you want to be with this person in the long-term, avoid further pain by doing your best to get over your ex instead of pursuing him or her again.
Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.
He was my bestfriend for a while and then we found out that we actually love each other so we dated for a few months and then he told me that we should go back to being bestfriends to protect what we have because we can never be together or get married due to our religious beliefs.. when we started doing that he was already talking to another girl who follows the same religion as him and i got jealous and got into many fights with him about that .. that lasted for about 2 months and then he got sick from my craziness and told me that we should be just regular friends not even bestfriends and we shouldn’t text everyday or call each other unless there is something important.. that was about a month ago .. i begged him to become bestfriends again i talked alot and tried everything i could do but it was no use .. yesterday i talked to him about it again and he told me that being just friends is his final decision ans he won’t change his mind and i should act that way and just let it flow .. i hate the fact that he’s in control and that it was his decision to be just regular friends. Moreover, he and that other girl became really close I’m not sure if they are dating or not but i know that they talk and hang out alot .. we go to the same college so i see them together alot .. whenever he sees me he acts normal as regular friends .. what should i do to go back into being bestfriends again ? What should i do to win him back after he said that he already moved on? I’m not sure if the other girl is a rebound or everything between them is real also.
While it is important to not pursue your ex for a month or so, it's okay to be responsive if he or she pursues you. In other words, if you get a call, don't hang up on your ex or refuse to talk. It is not necessary to try to play mind games or play hard to get, and doing so would have the potential to push him or her further away, which is the opposite of your goal at this point.
Besides, even if he does get into a new relationship … you have to realize that all relationships are not created equal. Sometimes the easiest way to numb the pain of a previous relationship is to jump right into a new one. And in the case of a rebound, who knows what the outcome will be? These aren’t necessarily the most long-lasting relationships and there’s nothing to say that this isn’t an attempt to get your attention or be vindictive. Again, you don’t know and you can’t know and it’s a waste of time to try.
I have hit rock bottom. I have nowhere to turn and nobody to rely on. You are my rock. You are the only way. I am here no on my knees… holding back the flood of tears. Give me wisdom to save my relationship with my boyfriend. I know only you can save this. I beg up you. I plead with you. Show us a better way together. Please open his heart to my love and your forgiveness. Please touch his soul at this very moment. Where ever he is and what he is doing… touch him Lord. Help him see we need to save this love. Please I ask and pray with all the strength that you are giving me just to be able to breath. i am lost without you. Lord I need him. I need to feel your love with him. Dear Lord I pray. Please give me the right words, guide me to help save our relationship. Show me how strong I can be through you. My tears soak my spirit, my heart is breaking. I cannot hold on. I feel like every ounce of life is draining from me. Renew me. Renew me. Make him see. Use us as an example of how forgiveness and your love can save and change people. Help him rebuke satan and his temptations. I love him so dear Lord. I will honor you with my love for him. Give me this chance. Please reach out to him now and help him see we need to save this. I love you Lord. I will never doubt your ability. Please do this. Save us. Please. I pray.
I ask you God to please bless me and my kids father’s relationship to be stronger and for him to not leave me and go off to another female or move our if our place together. Please God of I didn’t need you more then any time in my life I need you now .I promise I will not do anything to unsure are relationship I promise I keep my word please God please bless me through our kids please I need you right now God more then anytime time in my life save my relationship with my kids father and make it healthy please In the name of Jesus we do pray AMEN thank God
She texts me saying she cant talk and to meet her at her locker at the end of the day to “Talk”. Im not stupid. I knew what was going to happen. And sure enough when i went to talk to her. She told me that she didnt want me to be dating a girl that wasnt gonna give me what i wanted… even though i clearly told her i didnt care. I tried explaining myself. Trying everything in my will to not lose something that was so perfect just 24 hours before this had happened. I want to tell her how i really feel seeing as this talk took less than a minute and im not taking it very well. Hard to concentrate in school and life just sucks without her in it. Im not fully reliant on her but it was such a good thing. til i asked her.
My boyfriend just broke up with me a week ago. We had been dating about 4 months. The first two months of our relationship, he worked a normal 9-5 job and we were able to see each other once, twice, or even more times a week. In December he went back to working a completely opposite shift as me, and six days a week, meaning that we had very little time to see each other. Only about once every week to two weeks. We talked about how difficult it was to see each other because of his work schedule, but that he really cared about me and was going to try to make it work because it meant something to him. The next time I saw him three weeks later, he said that he didn’t think he would be able to commit the time to the relationship. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about me, or enjoy my company, but that he couldn’t see me very often and when he had time off on the weekends, there were other things that he needed to do because he could only do them then. He said that it didn’t mean he wouldn’t be interested in taking me out every couples of weeks or so, but that it wouldn’t be anything more than a date, not a relationship. He also said that it had nothing to do with anything that I did, that he always had a great time with me (we never got into any fights or arguments), and the breakup wasn’t anything he particularly wanted to do, but he knew that I wanted more than he could give me. He mentioned that if his schedule changed in the somewhat near future, or if his feelings towards committing to a relationship changed, I would be the first one to know. I really feel like we’re right together, and he said that he thought we were good together, and I could honestly see myself with him for the long haul. How long should I wait before I contact him? We had talked everyday for the past 3 months, and now nothing. He’s leaving for a 3 week long business trip in April. Should I contact him and try to see him before he leaves, or wait until he gets back? I would be willing to have a relationship with him even if it meant not seeing him very often, as long as I knew we would be serious once he got back on a different schedule. I’m pretty upset and hurt about it, and any advice would be helpful. Thanks!
So now, there’s not a moment that goes by when I don’t think about him and how I want him to come back so I can be better, do better say the things I was too shy to say. I’m not the only person who needs to change, he needs to come back as a new person too. But truth be told, it seemed that we were both stepping out of our comfort zones to be with each other. I wanted him to be more patient and he wanted me to profess my love for him everyday and in the end we both felt like we were being cheated of something and that the other person was being selfish.
Don’t get sucked into a prolonged discussion from this point. Don’t try to work anything out. Simply wish her well, give her a hug and leave the conversation and the room. She may follow you and attempt to keep the conversation going. She may start asking you questions or demanding answers. Don’t give in to her requests. You’re not obligated to give her any answers anymore – she ended the relationship. You have changed the rules of the game and the chips haven’t even had the chance to hit the floor.
First, your acquaintances will unfollow you and seeing the negativity, they won’t even want to go near you or introduce new people to you. Second, new friends will all know that you’re sad and don’t want to know you more or else they’ll get infected with your sadness. Third, for the friends who really care about you — you can just go the traditional way and meetup with them and cry your eyes out.
Often the problems that are truly unmanageable occur when both partners have opposing interests. Here are some examples: one person tries to dominate the other, one person wishes to leave the home whenever he/she chooses, one person reserves the right to see friends all during the week, one person is a philanderer, one person assigns work to the other, one person refuses responsibility for a child, one person begrudges spending money on the other or on the family. Naturally, the other spouse will resent being dominated, or ignored, or taken advantage of. These problems cannot be resolved just by understanding the other better. These are examples of one person putting himself/herself first. When a couple has opposing interests, the problems they develop are likely to prove intractable.
Spend time with good friends. One of the best ways to source yourself is to put yourself in the company of good friends. Good friends remind you of who you really are. They can give you a new perspective on things and can generally be fun to be around. Good friends serve as one of the best distractions as opposed to eating a bucket of ice cream and watching Netflix all alone because they can help to build you up in the meantime and leave you more empowered, stronger, and more in touch with who you are. It might be worth it to define who good friends are.Good friends are friends that help you choose the most useful and empowering interpretation of your situation. They don’t look to blame or help you wallow in self-pity. They have compassion for you, yet believe that you are inherently fine. They remind you of how fun you are and how much life itself has to offer. Spending time with people like this will feed your soul. During this time take advantage of everything these wonderful people in your life have to offer. Plan a trip. See that show you all always wanted to see. Do all the things that make you feel alive and do it in good company.
she left me in 2011 and came back to me in 2012 afta i have callin her and not answering my calls for a year then she left again for a year 2013 around march and came back to me this year 2014…she started calling me on the 28 of february this year and i was shocked and confused about that.but at my point of view she was heartly brokened with the partner she was dating after me.we get back together but she told me we dont have to make love and i agreed but i forced her.now she is telling me she want a breakup coz im cheating but she doesnt have any proof.i loved her and i still love her.so i dont know what to do.i need your help guys..i think she is gona leave again coz im trusting her..but i said i dont want a breakup…thanks for your help guys.
Love this blog. I’ve been broken up with my ex for 2 years and he really is who I’ve loved this whole time and not sure why we ever broke up. After all this time, I heard from him on Christmas Eve and we got together. It was a start but of course we aren’t together but I’m glad we’re talking. Things can only go up from here, right especially since we to no communication at all?
Ok, so I met my dream man and we started dating. I have not dated much, so am really naive when it comes to men and dating, but we were going great together and planing ahead for weekends away. We were dating for two months when he just ended it out of the blue without any reason at all. I had to hear through second hand stories that he thought I was childish and he did not like the way I treated my mom. I was told he did not want anything to do with me. He did not want to see me or speak to me. I tried contacting but he just ignored me. We have been broken up now for six weeks and my heart is in pieces. I have no idea why he broke my heart and I have to admit I have been trying very hard to get him to explain or at least meet up and tell me face to face. I am now told again through second hand stories that he has met someone new and that he is happy, but his family does not approve of her and they have all turned their back on him. They were not happy when we split up at all as they say he was clearly happy with me. Now I am left wondering what the hell went wrong and trying to pick up a broken heart. Everyone seems to have their own ideas and when ever I say I would like to try and see him they just keep telling me that he does not want me and I am being childish. I must grow up. Sorry, but my heart is broken for no reason and he hides behind others instead of just telling my why! I don’t know if I even have a remote chance of getting him back but I really hope I do as he is my whole world. I have waited for this man my whole life and when we were together it was as if we were meant to be. You just know when you have met the right man. I just wish he would talk to me as I get the feeling there is more to this then meets the eye. I am a blonde and fare and the girl he is dating now is dark so totally apposite to me. Some says it is out of spite for everyone, but I ask why? I read this article and hope perhaps it might work, but not sure if it would. Think I am not going to be so lucky as he is very stubborn as well.
When people explain to me why they stay in unsatisfactory relationships long past the point where family and friends and everyone else encourage them to leave, they often say, “I love him/her.” I know that that is the real reason. Love has evolved as a powerful device to keep people together despite any defect or deficiency of a partner. Nature requires them to stay together long enough to have children. But it is not a good reason. As more or less rational animals, we can make decisions that promote our own individual interests. People who are capable of falling in love once can fall in love again and again if that first relationship breaks apart. The issue each person has to decide in the midst of a bad marriage or a bad affair is whether it is possible to be happy in that relationship—and, really, whether it is possible to be happier with someone else. Unfortunately, the alternative that occurs to many is not another partner, it is loneliness.
Save my relationship with my boyfriend. i love him so much and i want to spend the rest of my life with him. He stopped loving and our relationship fell apart i have trying Lord really hard. i traveled across seas to be with him and yet he looks at me like Please fix us almighty. help him see how much i love him so that he may return to me with more love than he did before.
Well I think you have kicked yourself in the A** my friend, first of you did not respect his space once going home after he already assured you that things were ok by making up with you before leaving back home. Secondly you felt the need to idk… “Make sure” he was REALLY ok and still “Wanted me” you felt the need to turn simi stalker on him when everything was ok if you just went home went about your life kept normal communication open keep yourself up go to the gym, keep up with school & friends but no you turn all your attention focusing on issues that weren’t even there. So now he’s at the point to where in his eyes i have to be honest you are emotionally unstable and are possibly the kind of girl that given the right situation or get your angry enough you might do harm to him or get physical in some way YES you put yourself in the CRAZY box! Nothing right now is going to change his mind right now the best thing you can do is LEAVE HIM ALONE, cut all communication with him let him get in touch with you i repeat DO NOT CONTACT HIM AGAIN! if he chooses to get in touch with you he will if he doesn’t…. well you know why.
NOTE: YOUR mate value/perceived superiority is as high as your behavior makes it, and is only partially related to your job, income, looks etc. This is why no guy reading this has any excuse for not being able to become the kind of guy his ex wants for a relationship. You CAN become that guy (again), and I’m happy to teach you how. Begin the process with my chances of getting your ex back quiz. Your results page will then guide you further from there on what to do to get this girl back.
I won’t convince you that everything will be easy. You will have to try much harder than you would if it’s been only days since she left, but any situation has a solution. It’s a lot easier to get your girlfriend back if it’s been less than three months since your separation. However, I would like to note that my method works even if it’s been a long time.
I was with my ex gf for about a year and no lie, she is the only girl i have ever really felt happy with. Well anyways, i feel that its my fault because i decided to take a brake with the relationship. Now she has a boyfriend who she has been with for 2-3 years. She and I still talk and hang out every now and then (her boyfriend doesnt know she hangs out with me nor does he know who i am), but it feels wrong to me. I know she has a boyfriend so i respect her and keep my hands to myself. She tells me things like “even thoughi have a boyfriend, you were still the best boyfriend i ever had”, or “sometimes i wish you never broke up with me”. I am currently going to college and she had just graduated high school (we are both 18). Her boyfriend doesnt go to school and does not have a job, so i asked her why she has a boyfriend that isn’t doing anything with his life and she said, “because i love him”, that left me speechless. I know he doesnt deserve her because he always argues and cusses at her, doesnt trust her (what is a relationship without trust?), he keeps her on check (where are you at? Who are you with? What are to doing?). I have never cussed at her, yes we argued sometimes but got over them easily. I listen to what she has to say and I’m there for her when she needs it. It hurts everytime she talks about him and even when she talks to him on the phone in front of me (he doesnt know that i am with her) and tells him “i love you” right before they hang up. I miss her so much and wish that she and I can continue our relationship. I can’t be “just friends”because I’ve known her as my lover and nothing less. I really dont know what to do, but what i don’t want is to have to move on. Pleeeaaassse help me out.
My girl is my love. She is my best friend only, one I trust and believe so much. I always give everything she wants or ask me and she enjoyed to spend time with me a lot for shopping, dining, etc. She still loves me for being honest and supportive in her life. She think me of her family only. But her heart still want another guy. It make me felt stupid, jealous and I worry that she will use me for him and her. I give so much to her , she knew me regret and stupid, so she worry I always change mind. She angry and argue with me on 3 times, she want to break up with me, because she suddnelly ask me about him, and I also asked her about her love on him. It make her really ANGRY on me because I never trust in her. I am stupid to help her so much, she never give back to me. She knows I loves her, but she cannot be with me together, she likes me but she loves him so much than me. It make me hurt so deeply. She begs me dont leave at her side cus she dont have many friends. But I cant, but she angry and want to break up with me! So, how I get her think of me, how I make her forget another guy? How make she leave him? She is very degil, and wont listen my advices. Please help me.
The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl. You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you. This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl. It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar. He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc). Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters. Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.
Luckily, the period of no contact will give you the time to put in place practices and structures to help you drop your stories and see things in a more positive light. Journaling, meditating, and yoga also helps. Maybe it sounds a little too new-age for you, but intense emotional experiences can send your thoughts into overdrive, so it’s really important to try and find a stillness within and learn to quiet your mind, or at least slow it down a bit.
Where did I come up with this? Actually this really happened to me. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous. She looked so good in fact that all I could think was “how in the hell did I let her get away?”
If you want someone back that has done that to you, you need to work on your boundaries and self esteem. I’ve totally been there and I know how you feel. I know it’s hard; you’re not alone. What’s done is done but now it’s time to have your own back, speak with your actions and take care of YOU. You deserve so much more and I know you know it 🙂 xoxoxo
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it an emergency if he’s without some of his stuff. However, if for whatever the reason he was so worried something happened to you, at some point he would ACTUALLY start looking for you, whether it’s at work or at home, in which you would find it sweet of course, but at the same time you can tell him you’re fine and just need some space.
I’m sorry Eileen, i keep bugging…but he thinks I’m playing mind games w him bc I messed up in the beginning and it was a complete misunderstanding… and said if I don’t get in touch with him that he will find someone else to keep himself from getting depressed. It’s funny bc ever since I been giving him space, he been trying to text and call me alot…this guy is very difficult since I used to push him away bc I felt like I was not good enough for him…I’m trying to b positive
I learned by my girlfriend’s friend that she fell in love with another guy. It’s the middle of summer so I can’t see her or talk to her since she doesn’t have her phone(even when she had it she didn’t answer). I truly love her and need some help with this, not to be weak but because I love her, and I fear that she might go out with that guy if she breaks up with me. Is there a way for me to make her have feelings for me again? A way for not to break up with me?
Me & My boyfriend just recently broke up and I am always crying and feeling really hurt I didn’t wanna brake up with him but we got into a arguement over a convo I over heard or may of only heard parts of but I got angry and so did he , at first he said he was gone come back home but we weren’t gone be together . Then he changed his mind I guess texting saying he still wants me and the kids in his life but never ever wants to be with me again . everything was fine we where working through some things before this night , I feel his friends and family may have a part in our splitting cause every time he got around them things would start to change . He’s sent a lot of mean texts to me that don’t sound like him but I can’t be sure if they are or aren’t . My kids and Myself miss him a lot and I just don’t know what to do anymore i feel if I never came out of my room after that convo I over heard things would be fine still …
The problem is she’s cut me off once before after a bad night than about 3 months later wanted to hang out again. This time around I made all the right moves. Took her out to fancy dinners, wine tastings, spent days with her at her apartment for study dates, hung out with her and her friends, took random walks. And now because I messed up for New Years I’m a terrible person. I just don’t get it. I’m hurting like crazy here and I just don’t know what to do. I can’t go through this pain again. :( I feel horrible and would do anything to redo that moment or make it up to her. Any suggestions?
me and my ex boyfriend recently broke up about a month ago. Currently I am trying the no contact rule, but it’s impossible for me not to see him due to the fact we attend the same workplace. Also we share the same close friends, so sometimes when out with friends he’s there and at parties, but we never speak at all during them. A few days after the break up, I wrote him a letter appolising and asking if we could be friends (I think this was a bad idea to do this and I got no reply or anything from him). Also I wrote in the letter that I was okay with his decision to break up, but I wasn’t. In a few weeks I want to try and contact him and speak as friends. I would prefer to do this via text as he ignores every call, and as soon as he sees me in person he gets as far away as possible. I just don’t know want to say to him after this no contact period, or how to get him to want to talk to me. Could you please help me or give me any advice at all. I would really really appreciate it and be really grateful.
Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. However, I don’t like the phone for a lot of reasons. First off, it doesn’t give you time to think. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. Not to mention he still may be a little resentful about the break up.
I believe it was James Carville, Bill Clinton's political adviser, who said, "If you say three things, you've said nothing at all." Well, I've said more than three things here, but then, I'm not giving a political speech. And you are not going to find the answer to saving your marriage in a single idea. What you have in front of you, though, are the first steps in getting to a happy marriage.
I went out with my ex girlfriend for 9years an have 3 wonderful kids with her we had our ups an downs the last 2 years were mostly downs an a lot of fighting we really weren’t talking so she broke up with me for about 7-8 months I did the whole crying asking her for that one chance trying to keep my family together she is really my first love I know what I did wrong an I’m trying to change an understand what I’ve done wrong well we both move out of the place we lived together she went back with her mother an I got my own place I still love her but I just found out she started dating just dating an I’ve seen a couple of women but I still have strong feelings for her she won’t talk to me an when she does she gets angry quick she gets jealous when I say I’m with a friend an she turns around an try’s to make me jealous in return why would she do that I just wanna know if I still have a chance what can I do an if I don’t should I just move on please help
My god, you have described men to a ‘t’! Any man that’s rotunda having had a lot of ego & the truth is they are pussycsts underneath! Thankyou for this – it’s saved my heart as it’s reminded me of everything I already know but sealed it, no empathy and heart break after being left with our tiny baby after being very in love or atleast I thought we were! Apparently he wants to ‘be free’ and not be ‘ tied down’! Says he doesn’t love me, never did but tried! I’m a fairly ok attractive woman (just so you don’t think he pulled out bcs I have one leg or something) so much so that he begged me to get a tattoo of his initials as he loved me so much! but I pulled out. How does that work then????am mans madly in love with you, sees you vulnerable and kegs it! Nice ?
I talked with lots of my friends and dating gurus before locating Michael Fiore regarding how to get an ex girlfriend back. “Come on… She was NOT for you.” said by one of my closest friend. Many friends suggested me to MOVE ON. At 29, I have no intentions to dating someone new because I knew I have deepest connection with my girlfriend that I can’t build with any new girl.
Reason #2 – Creates Feeling of Loss: Another reason to use no contact is, it helps in developing the feelings of loss in your ex boyfriend’s mind. Your boyfriend will start thinking why she is not calling me. He will start getting second-guessing to his decision of breaking up with you. Once he starts getting these second-guessing thoughts it will be great helpful for you.
You have the attraction back by this point already from the previous steps, so most of what you need to do now is just get out of your own way, and let the getting-back-together process happen on its own. In other words, you need to know what mistakes to AVOID, to prevent yourself from sabotaging the getting-back-together process, which is supposed to happen fairly naturally after the first 7 steps.
I begged and pleaded with my ex to not let me go the day he broke up with me. Even told him I couldn’t live without him. W-T-F!!!!!! But when I finally got in my car to leave (for the second time), I was in shock (disgust, humiliated, sick…) that I could have done that. To give you perspective on why I was in shock: during the breakup he said, and I quote, “It was your actions that led us to this.” “YOU ARE HERE TO HELP ME! AND I HAVE TWO KIDS!” (Adult kids mind you. This was responding to the fact that I stopped being their f-ING maid). “You don’t even take very good care of your dogs.” All of these things were said with the, all too familiar, condescending, disgusted, nasty look on his face, twisting words and making everything my fault. Oh, there were a lot more comments like that during our breakup (and consistent throughout our relationship) but those have stayed with me the most.
I founded out he cheated on me two weeks ago not heard from him and now the loan people he answered to but he’s. Not speaking to anyone else. as he’s gone holiday I have no idea when he back worried outta mind but he said he would pay off the loan for me but he needs to sort it out with me. and I’m scared he’s not going to talk to me I still love him
Dated my girl for 6 years and left her to go become a dive instructor on a island. I was gone 2 years but Came back 3 times and instantly back in the sack. I would crew boats back to the states and find a excuse to see her. Last time was normal I came by and we took a couple weekend trips and had sex and exchanged I love yous. Now 3 weeks went by and I came back down to start our relationship back up and within 10 minutes of her picking me up from the airport she tells me she’s seeing someone. I played it cool and when we got back to our old condo she told me I’d have to sleep in the guest room. Still played it cool. A little griping and OK good night. Played it cool for two days and told her I was back to get back together. Trying to explain you told me you loved me three weeks ago and didn’t want me to leave now I can’t sleep in the same room. I’ve been nice and not making myself look needy or desperate and got some nice smiles and laughs. Now tonight I sit to talk after she got home from work and she’s really resisting. Not cold but I tried to get I love you out of her and can’t. Fucking three weeks come on. Still sleeping on the guest bed tonight. I’m here for the rest of the week then going back up near Chi. to do a job for some cash I then wanted to move back in with her. She’s telling me to go up and see how I feel about her after the two month job. But I think she is just trying to make the rest of the week more bearable My birthday is in a couple days and part of the reason I came here was to spent it with her. thought that would give me a nice advantage if anything did go weird. It’s not working. starting to feel really bummed and discouraged. She’s been saying she’s working late and starting to think she’s going to see the boyfriend after work. When she told me she was seeing someone she told me he was out of town this week and would be back this weekend. I can’t believe that this girl I loved so much for so many years would welcome me back three weeks ago but wont now or return a I love you.
Please help me. My relationship has been overcome by the devil and I can’t take it anymore. Me being with this man is only fate because I didn’t even like him before, but I grew to love him. Please put your hands on us and bless us with your grace and mercy. Bring you back into our lives because there’s no relationship without you. Make us understand our faults so that we can come at ease with eachother. Bring us back together to what we had in the beginning, have us come together in harmony and worship your name. Lord I come to you in the name of Jesus to help me, help me get my man back.
Hey I need help! So me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago. I tried to get her back at first but stopped after I saw it wasn’t working. I just started the no contact phase and am giving her time it’s been 3 days no contact. I’m fine with the no contact but here’s the tricky part, shes getting surgery Tuesday(4 days from now) and is really nervous. When we were together I was a jerk and didn’t make a big deal about it and it hurt her. So now what Idk is should I text her the night before and say something about it like goodluck don’t be nervo use it’ll be okay, just good luck or nothing at all? Help please!!
The key to succeeding in this very first step is keeping your emotions in check. This is usually easier said than done, especially after a breakup when our emotions are usually running wild! When you miss your ex, it’s easy to let emotions and longing take hold, causing you to reach out to him in an attempt to stay on his mind, or maybe to reignite the spark.
Relationships often end in a whirlwind of doubt and bitter accusation. You probably said a few things you didn't mean, and she fought back. Now that you've had a little bit of time to think about what's been lost, you know you want her back. If you put your heart and mind to it, you might be able to win her over all over again. Fixing whatever went wrong in the first place can be all it takes to prove that you've changed.
I really like the links from the first comment. I think as long as the two people love each other it doesn't matter what they did. unless its cheating. Trust is hard for me to understand. MY bf doesn't trust me and even though he has done things to break my trust in different ways I feel like I know him and can understand he's just a human and we make some mistakes sometimes. I try and change how he wants me to, to be a better person and show him I do care but somehow its not ever enough. I do not know how I can show him I care. He wants a big grand gesture but I do not have money or an idea of what to do. He said something like seeing him at work would make him feel like I care but when I didn't do u it his time limit that I didn't even know about he got mad. I just want to show him he is special but every little thing doesn't mean anything to him anymore. I can say I felt like how he describes because he hurt me and I didn't care about anything but distressing helped me see more clearly and what I needed to. I think that's what's going on with him because he hasn't been able to distress.
Impossible as it may seem, I have created techniques which transform relationships… even when only one person is trying! My typical client is a spouse that wants to save their relationship when their partner has already “given up.”Most therapists work from the assumption that, if only one person wanted to work on the relationship, it was impossible to fix. I don’t approach marriage crises this way. I approach them like an algebra equation. If one side of the equation is changed, the other side must change! Incredibly, my clients have achieved an 89.7% success rate. . . even if only one spouse starts the process! (Findings based on surveys. Individual results can vary.)
It doesn’t really matter how it happens. Maybe he’ll reach out to you. Maybe you will initiate contact with him. Whichever it is, the key thing at this stage is to keep things casual. And this should be easy for you. You’ve already detoxed from the drama of the relationship, you’re working out, hanging out with friends, have probably been on a date or two, and are involved in new hobbies. Essentially, your life doesn’t revolve around him or a relationship anymore. You’ve done the mental and emotional work to be fine with the outcome either way and there is no pressure.
I so wanna do this nc thing but when i do say 2 days, he will text me little questions like “do you remember where i put my …” And i have never never ignored him at all. Yes he has signs of a narcissist. And he comes from a broken family. We worked at the same place and thats hard for me. You know people would talk and all. I have been laughed at for being the provider. From money to time to chauffeuring him. And that hurts because i did all that in the name of love. But he didn’t appreciate me. In fact he treats me like kids treating a mom. No calls the whole day, busy with everyone. Only finds me when he needs something. He cheats on me too.
If you are in a situation like this, the best thing to do is just be cool about it. Do not give your opinion about their new relationship and let it run its course. Just be cool about the whole thing and try to concentrate on your life rather than theirs. There are a lot of things that you need to do after a breakup and before you can get your ex back. That’s what step 2 is all about.
My boyfriend broke up with me last week and pretty much out of no where. I’m pretty devastated and having a hard time accepting it. I kinda went bat sh!t crazy texting him 2 days after we broke up. The day after, he would respond and such. The 2nd day he didn’t respond at all and I kinda went crazy, but I don’t think i went over the edge or the limit. 3rd day I didn’t not bother to text him nor attempting in the future. Do you think the 2 days I attempt to contact him will make me like a crazy ex gf? Yesterday, I saw he unfollow me on snapchat, but still have me on FB and IG. Hope you can reply back!
Not every long-term relationship should last even longer. In this connection I always think of two candidates for the worst marriage ever. One patient was a man, the other a woman. Some of what they endured was similar. Both marriages were childless. The man put up with persistent infidelities on his wife’s part, often with his friends. She did not work, did not take care of their house or dogs, (which she insisted on buying) and was an alcoholic. She sometimes struck him, once with a hammer. She might have been delusional. She accused him of wiring the house to spy on her. When I asked him why he was putting up with her, he said, “I love her.” The marriage only broke up finally when she went on vacation with one of his friends and never returned.
That’s really the main aim in Step 8 here – ensure that you don’t make mistakes which would accidentally sabotage the natural getting-back-together process. There’s several common mistakes most guys make at this exact point, and it’s super important that you know WHAT those mistakes are so that you don’t fall victim to them like most do. If you’re not told what these mistakes are, I honestly believe that you WOULD fall victim to them, so let’s discuss them right now.
My ex-boyfriend and I just broke up 2 weeks ago. I love him and his little boys so much and i feel heartbroken. We had 8 mounths relationship in witch we lived together…he and I we are another country but had sometime lived with, I think he loves me, despite when he left me he said he like me but he doesn’t love me the same way i do. Is it possible to tell me all this just to make me go away, or to protect me, or I really dunno…
Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. It's not unheard of for a couple to get back together after they've taken time away from each other, so don't give up hope. Just be sure to put plenty of thought into the reasons you broke up before attempting to get back together, as this can help you make the relationship work the second time around.
My situation is a bit different. I have a boyfriend who loves me incredibly and so do I. But the problem between us is that he does not bring our relationship into his father’s consideration. It’s been 1 year and 4 months we have been dating. When he asked me out, he clearly told me that he is not that type of a person who likes to date girls and move on to the next one, I personally admire that about him, and I also think the same. We have a lot of mutuality. Our relationship is close to perfect, but he does not like when I ask him about if he will speak to his dad about our relationship so we can get married some where in future. My side of the family found out about him, and they have no issues with it, they just want to speak to his family so they can tie us in a knot. Recently, he told me he was going to speak to his father by the end of this month, but again he did what he has been doing, he dodged this issue, and here I am super stressed about what is on his mind about this. Does he even want to marry me or be with me forever? I need help, because I am so confused about what does he really want? I know that he loves me with all his heart, and so do I, but why is he keep dogding the marriage topic?
She’s playing with you until she get what she wants from someone else. You are her comfort zone you know each other so she is just there with you after what she thinks is good is not. She she leave it becaue she thinks she found the one to replace you then she finds out the grass is not greener on the other side so she comes back. She is blaming you for cheating because she is not being 100% with you about what she is doing. She don’t want to have sex due to the fact thst she don’t want no emotional connection with you because she might find someone else and it will be hard to leave if there is emotionally attached to you.
And while we’re talking about jealousy, you should also try to refrain from reacting if he posts a picture with a girl, or likes a girl’s social media posts, or even if he starts dating a girl. Jealousy is ugly, unattractive, and destructive. Maybe you’re hurt that he seems to be moving on, but lashing out at him is not going to swing the pendulum back in your favor. And you really don’t know what’s going on. Maybe it’s a rebound fling, maybe the girl in the picture is his cousin, who knows and who cares? This is not where you should be putting your attention at the moment.
My ex-boyfriend and I have been together for a year and two months. Recently he told me that he is conflicted over him wanting to be with men and wanting to be with me. We spent all our time together and he always took care of me and wrote me sweet cards during our relationship. He told me he was struggling with reaching out to other men and felt like doing so during our relationship would be hurting me. He told me that he cares for and loves me but that he needed time to find out what he wanted and that he would come back to me if he isn’t gay and things aren’t good like what we have. He also said there is nothing I did but that he feels different. He’s been in several relationships with women but I’m his first for everything. I’m 22 and he is 21 and I have had more relationships than him. He feels like he hasn’t explored everything and doesn’t know himself well enough.
First, like an old house undergoing renovation, you don’t fix the cracks in the walls first, and then fix the cracks in the foundation. You work on the foundation first. Your relationship needs foundational work. Patching other problems first only provides a short-term fix; the “cracks” will reappear much sooner than you think. And their reappearance will only dishearten you, making future repair attempts less likely. Your marital problems developed over time, and it will take time to repair the damage.
This is the power of jealousy. Now, I am NOT recommending that you go out and date someone new. I am recommending that you drop certain hints in your communication with your ex boyfriend that you are out meeting new people. The key to this is that YOU CAN’T BE OBVIOUS. Do you think you will get very far if you rub the fact that you are out and about with other guys? The answer is no. There is a subtle art to incorporating jealousy texts into your conversations and I am going to teach you that art.
Last night we had sex and he kissed me like he meant it. He kissed me bye etc. today when I talked to him he said to give him time (he’s out of town anyways until Wednesday with family) but he’s worried everything is going to go back to the way it was. I’ve worked on myself and I know now what my problem was – my ego! Then he told me on the phone to not call/text him. If he wants to talk he will call me (I can’t do it. It’s hard) and told me not to tell him everything to let him wonder. I’m trying to be open and honest with him.
I’m confused… I was with my ex for 3 years n 6mthns n he cheated on me but when he was with her and he went to work he would call me n tell me he miss me n love me n want to b back with me. He’ll say things like I choose the wrng girl she’s controlling. Well 5 months go by without talkin n we was back together having sex , going out, having with each others family, but she jus kept texting him n calling him then she made up a lie saying she was pregnant by him n she really wasn’t but I feel like he still lover her because he reply back to her texts n calls her when I’m not around. Yesterday we out and he dropped me off at home and supposedly went home or to his dad’s but I called his house his roommate sayd he didn’t come home last night n I called his dad house n they said he didn’t come over, so I started to get worried n I called his cell phone n it keeps going to voicemail, but my mind is telling me he’s with her… I still love him but I’m tired of the heart ache n him lying to me every time he opens his mouth, we was talkin bout getting married next year. I need Advice pls help!!
I enjoyed reading your above article and while most of it is useful to me, my situation is a little more complex. The ex that I want back isn’t a recent ex. we broke up in high school. Well I say broke up but more like I just ignored him (give me a break I was 16). He didnt treat me bad and neither of us cheated on each other. He was my first real boyfriend and I realized that this could be way more then I was emotionally prepared for. After high school I emailed him apologizing for my stupid behavior and immaturity but he didn’t reply. Karma at its finest! I told myself then that ‘well I trided, move on’ Recently while reading another article he came into mind and hasn’t left. He has consumed my brain. He lives on the other side of the country and has a girlfriend (I can add Facebook stalker to my resume now) I know I hurt him but I feel like we have “unfinished business”. How do I get his attention again?How do I make him want to contact me even if it is to tell me to go pound sand?
I don’t know if I have done the right thing. I sent my ex an email to say that I didn’t want to leave things on a bad note and that I hope one day he finds that special girl that will make him happy and one that will understand him as he is special and a complex person and that there is only one of him. That in time hopefully we will be able to become friends. Ended with all the best…Have I done the wrong thing as he didn’t answer me and I know he has read the message??
Ever since the 22nd July until 25th July, I’ve been sending him messages on wanting to salvage this relationship, wanting to change and be more open minded and gradually change to really trust him, his replies are all negatively saying “no, I’ve tried but I can’t.” “It’s better we stay friends” “I can’t see any future ahead of us anymore.” “I can’t see myself being nagged by you everytime”. His heart is not even waivered and he seems really firm with his decision.
This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. This has to be completely genuine otherwise you are better off not saying anything at all.
I dated a amazing guy for two years and we broke up 7 years ago. I quickly married the wrong person and have filed for divorce. For years I felt like I owed my ex an apology but I was never in the position to do so (my husband was the insane jealous type), so a month ago I finally worked up the courage to call. It was amazing! We talked for hours and dissected how our relationship was doomed to fail based on our attitudes, and how young and inexperienced we were. Every shitty thing that was done is now a joke that we can laugh at, and we began texting/calling regularly for two weeks. He is on a indefinite break from a long-term girlfriend and I am in the process of divorce, and it seemed like we both just needed to be able to talk to each other and be totally candid about our past and present.
This will make him feel horrible that he can't have you anymore whenever he wants. Desire kicks in, and now he feels like an idiot for not staying with you. After he runs into you, he'll think “Gosh, she looks amazing!” – just wait to see his jaw drop when he sees how you look 5 times better. I know this sounds shallow, but it works simply because most guys think with what they've got in their pants, not with their heart or brain. Even if he's a pretty smart guy, physical attraction can be the first step to getting your ex-boyfriend back. It's just the first step, but it's a crucial one – 'cause now you've got your foot in the door. You throw a hook and wait for him to bite.
First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. Let’s say you and I were dating and we had a fight and broke up (I know I am a horrible boyfriend 😉 .) Anyways, after a month of you basically freezing me out (no contact) I happen to bump into you at a Starbucks or somewhere where we both frequented. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself and ate ice cream on the couch all day I will probably think “she looks terrible.” However, if you spent that no contact time working on yourself physically and mentally I am probably going to think “WOW! She is even more beautiful than I remember.”
I was insecurebecause usually he’ll call me on lunch time then became like I haven’t got any calls till come home late at night such as 2 a.m. then I get frustrated and let him sleep out in the carthen I get emotional and let him in the house then I just felt like I wasn’t his girlfriend.it was a Friday night he was supposed to come from normal time and bring dinner to he didn’t come the next day so I went to work came home and all his clothes where gone no calls are text message from him.. I had complain a lot.. what should I do to get b him back to love we again.. I’m going to do the no contact b rule ima follow those steps and see how it goes