Okay so my boyfriend broke up with me because I was transferring to another college while he was being forced to go back to Chicago. When we talked, he told me he was staying a bit longer but he still chooses to go to Chicago, despite that he didn’t really want to break up with me. How do I know if he really wants me back? I still love him, but I don’t want to chase him away.

Remember; do not talk about the relationship during this date. Just talk about the things going on in your life and ask them about their life. And you actually have to have something going on in your life to talk about. You cannot tell them how you spend all night yesterday watching reruns of Jersey Shore in your bed. This is another reason why completing Step 2 is so important.

My relationship was an open one. We had an argument and i wanted to broke up but went back after 2 days. I later took some space without telling him, its been on for about 4 months. So we didn’t break up but I’m worried he thinks so. He called first one month after the space but i didn’t pick or chat with him. Then 2 weeks later he called again and i picked, we talk for a while about nothing important but didn’t call again. Then sent Christmas and new year message which i replied but nothing else. Then 2 weeks after that i sent him birthday message and called once but he never picked or called back. But 5 days ago he called and sounded so quiet,l. The conversation was really short, i was nice and i didn’t ask to meet him either but right now I’m really worried if things will never improve. We normally use to chat on WhatsApp and i haven’t received a message from him. I don’t know if i should still keep holding on or to move on.


The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.
Ask them if they want to save the relationship. If they say yes, tell them (calmly) that you don't feel like they are putting forth the effort. Tell them exactly what you need from them, if possible. Couples counseling might be beneficial in this case. If they don't respond positively that they want to save the relationship, move on. You can't change their mind.

In most cases, a woman will be feeling unsatisfied for months or even years before she breaks up with her man. Why so long? Humans try to hold on to the loving relationships in their life. It’s a natural instinct. In addition to that, break ups feel like crap. It’s a horrible experience, especially if you are unsure whether or not you will feel okay on your own.
My ex ended it just a couple of days ago, we were fighting over stupid things and we just struggled to compromise with each other. He says he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, but I miss and love him Sooo much! We used to have fights were we almost broke up but it was then fine, so I’m struggling with this because all the other times it was okay because we knew how much we loved each other. But the times we fought were mostly over text because we only got to see each other once or twice a week so, so much of our communication was over text. But when we were together it was perfect and we were so in love. I’m just struggling so much right now I just don’t know what to do. I know everyone keeps saying you just need time and then see how it is but it’s just soooo hard. all I want to do is talk to him! We have ended on good term atm cos we agreed to be friends. I don’t know if I should still have hope we could be together again or I should just move on!
Everything was going very fine, and suddenly he messaged me that he doesn’t even want to be with me anymore because he doesn’t feel for me the same way he did. Everyday he was like, he is not going to come back and all. When i came from my home to my college, he is also in the same college, we met again, but still he was like doesn’t have feelings. We spent time as he was clearing the facts that he doesn’t feel for me but still care for me. We shared some intimate moments and he is like that was only one moment, that’s it. How come feelings got vanished suddenly. We never fought and I supported him a lot in every aspect. i have tried so many things to save this relation.

Me and my girl been dating for almost 18 months. And I became depending and demanding which leads to posessive attitude. Starts acting jealous and shit. The last months before we broke up we had a huge fight. We yelled to each other, and she hits and kicks me like crazy and I lose my temper back then. I slap her cheek once (not in purpose) and I cried over her because I felt so wronged for doing that. Things seems to go well, but all of a sudden she blow up some litlle mess into a reason for broke me up. She oftenhy hide something for me. Even lied to me. But I don’t know, my heart still beats for her. I even saw still her posting pics on our date. Been 6 months since we broke up and she never respond to my text and calls. I tried to hold it, but last week we talked through text. And I begged her to come back. Remind her things we used to do. But the answer is “no, I can’t be with you anymore” “don’t bother me!” “Go find another girl, or either I will” . She’s an introvert. I always honest to her. Never mess with any other girl. And I’m the one who took her virginity. I feel responsible for that. I don’t want another man used her! Need to get her back. But none of no talking method works. I feel guilty when I text and begged her after months I gave her own space to cool down. :( I really love her man. Please help me. Desperately needed advice. Thanks a lot. -z-


Shelly I was reading some comments and yours had a bit on me !! It’s been a while since I’ve been searching for “how to make my ex come back to me “, and I think a lot of these articles helped a little after our first breakup. However, if you want to make this person become madly be in love with you, then I can recommend you to someone who helped me. I had a result in 2 weeks.
a lack of respect on either side. If you or your ex call each other names, belittle each other's accomplishments, or say disparaging things about one another to your family or friends, then there is no respect in that relationship. These are all features of an emotionally abusive relationship.[20] Find someone who shows you the respect you deserve, and commit to treating him or her with respect as well.

So if you have worked hard to bring your ex boyfriend back into the picture and progress is being made on multiple communication fronts, then take an opportunity and drop him a little not.  Nothing over the top.  Nothing about making a relationship commitment. You don’t want to spook your ex bf. We will talk about that in another post.  Just something that cements you enjoyed yourself.  Keep it light!
For the last 3 yrs I was the one who reach out to him every time he leave, now I am applying the no contact, is been 2 weeks, is been hard but I told myself I will have to keep my ground for at least 3 months before I consider reaching out to him. Do you think he will reach out to me this time around? if so, any idea after how long he will reach out to me? I think I may got him used to me giving in all the time.
Come up with a list together. While discussing your relationship, work on a list together. Figure out what you both think the problems are in your relationship, and discuss how it started. It may be hard to have an open discussion, but it's important to get both of your points of view on where the relationship went wrong. In addition, you can use help from educational websites to help identify what's healthy about your relationship and what's not.[7]

My first ever boyfriend of 4 years plus broke up with me by saying “let’s just be friends”, “I don’t see a future with you anymore, I’ve tried but I just can’t.”, “You’ve to understand that it’s not you, it’s me. Even if you change, I’ll still be the same and eventually the same problem will unfold and we’ll quarrel again”. I’ve sent him threads of messages saying I’ll change and will be able to overlook issues and gradually hope that things will change for the better, but he seems to have made up his mind and wanna end this relationship with me.
Make sure you are both open to change. If your primary goal is to protect yourself in the relationship from hurt and anger, you aren't open to change. Instead, you'll likely want to control your partner to enforce that protection, making your relationship negative and stagnant. On the other hand, if you're both willing to learn and grow together, your relationship can develop over time into something better. If only one of you is willing to change, it may not work.[24]
My ex broke up with me about two weeks ago. He says he was tied of arguing. He was saying another girl a couple times but they are no longer talking. He always text me calls me and wants me to hang out with him or stay the night at my place. He text me when I’m at work with xoxo and always says he loves me and is more affectionate toward me now then when we were together. But he still says he dosn’t want a girlfriend right now I’m confused.
After my girlfriend and I got separated I constantly looked for articles and books that could help me get her back. When I found your website, I was pleased with the number of positive reviews, but couldn’t really believe your course was so effective. I thought that my case was so difficult that no one could help me. When I read that I would get my money back if the course didn’t help me, I realized that I wouldn’t be losing anything if I tried, so I bought the book and read it. When I got to the middle, I was sure it was going to work! Until then, I was doing everything wrong, which is why there was no result!
I know I posted something similar to this but I would like more advice from everyone. Would appreciate it. So you see,my ex boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago after being with him for 16 months. Im 23 and he’s 26. He said he has thought it through and wants to be friends. I am so heartbroken that it has been so difficult for me to do school work and everything else. He’s someone I truly love and I thought we had something special. He was someone who I thought I was going to marry someday. He told me he loved me and would never leave me, well I guess I got fooled on that one. We did talk about our future about getting married and what not and so I need help in showing him what he’s missing and see how lucky of a wonderful woman he had in his life. So I need help in getting him back permanently.To also add that he told me that he can’t imagine his life without me and it would be weird if I wasn’t in his life anymore so I don’t know if that means something or not.
I met a girl in my work place and we became good friends…she had a bf from college but she was not in good terms with him I mean he had a ex gf and he was nbreaking u. With her and she. Was not sure of him..I asked her to breakup rather than taking it this far..with no intention of us being committed.. Later we became close and got into a relationship known only to my friends and her ex.. After 8-9 months of things going peaceful it started to take a violent turn she still used to talk to her ex sometimes bt later it was on a regular basis now she brokeup with me and is back wit. Him… I am shattered what to do????
Commit to having a better relationship. If your ex-boyfriend takes you back, you both need to take steps to make sure that the same problems that caused your last breakup will not interfere with your relationship again. Talk to each other about what kinds of conflicts you have had in the past and how you could deal with them more appropriately going forward.[9]
Español: recuperar a tu ex novio, Português: Reconquistar o seu Ex Namorado, Français: récupérer son ex petit‐ami, Italiano: Riconquistare un Ex, Deutsch: Den Exfreund zurückbekommen, Русский: вернуть бывшего парня, 中文: 让你的前男友回来, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Kembali Mantan Pacar Anda, Nederlands: Je ex vriendje weer terugkrijgen, العربية: استعادة حبيبك السابق, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स बॉयफ़्रेंड को वापस पाएँ, ไทย: กลับไปคืนดีกับแฟนหนุ่มคนเก่าของคุณ, Tiếng Việt: Khiến bạn trai cũ quay lại với bạn, 한국어: 헤어진 남자친구, 다시 잡는 법, 日本語: 元彼氏を取り戻す
Over the years I’ve found that there’s several lesser-known methods which work very well for speeding up the process of getting an ex back. Which of these methods you as an individual should use, in your specific circumstances, will depend on your quiz results from my chances of getting your ex back quiz. Please go take that quiz right now. The methods you’ll need to use to solve your own specific breakup, will then be revealed!
First, let’s make one thing clear: just because your partner is exhibiting a couple of the behaviours that I just talked about doesn’t mean that they’re definitely planning to file for divorce. It may simply be that these are indicators of trouble ahead in your marriage. But if you’ve seen several of these indicators in your spouse recently, and you’re feeling that things aren’t on track with your marriage, I encourage you to act to turn things around now before matters get any worse.
The first thing that you need to do is simple, stop talking to them. You need to drop communication completely. You absolutely need to stop this overall. Many people feel the need to text them back, call them back, or just try to be in their sight. Don’t do that. You have to cut everything out. Walk away, stop talking, stop texting, and walk away from social media. When you talk to them after the break up, you’re going to end up causing them to think that you’re not quite as good as she once thought. You don’t want her to justify the reason why she walked away.
Try to understand where he is coming from. Have a completely judgment-free conversation with him about this problem. Tell him (calmly) how you feel, and listen to how he feels. See if you can come up with a way to resolve this issue and/or ensure that it never happens again. A couple's counselor might also be a good idea, as sometimes it helps to listen to an outsider's perspective on a problem.
I know I posted something similar to this but I would like more advice from everyone. Would appreciate it. So you see,my ex boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago after being with him for 16 months. Im 23 and he’s 26. He said he has thought it through and wants to be friends. I am so heartbroken that it has been so difficult for me to do school work and everything else. He’s someone I truly love and I thought we had something special. He was someone who I thought I was going to marry someday. He told me he loved me and would never leave me, well I guess I got fooled on that one. We did talk about our future about getting married and what not and so I need help in showing him what he’s missing and see how lucky of a wonderful woman he had in his life. So I need help in getting him back permanently.To also add that he told me that he can’t imagine his life without me and it would be weird if I wasn’t in his life anymore so I don’t know if that means something or not.
Thanks for these tips, Jason. All of the other material I’ve read online had advice that I didn’t really jive with. “Don’t talk to him for a month or for 50 years!” Obviously every person and relationships is different so following a specific formula isn’t practical. Absence can make the heart grow fonder…or just further convince that person that there’s no point in going back. Your article stated pretty much what I believed I should try to do after my recent break up with my long term casual bf/sex buddy. Thank you.

Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.
I understand man. It hurts, it sucks, it deels like death would be way better. I feel that way everyday. All I know is, I have to let go. I have to be me, the best me. I have to learn how to see a womans needs before she is gone. If I am really lucky, my girl will feel different soon and call me. If I get the chance, believe me, I know what to do with it and I will treasure her as long as I live. I will pay attention to what she says and not think I know better than her. I will be happy just making her happy. If I dont get the chance, I will hurt like this until it stops I guess. I dont know. One day and one minute and one second at a time, I stay alive and I try to be who I should have been all along. Hang in there. Leave her be. Try to call her once every 6 months if you still want to and stay alive. Do good things. Its who you want to be.
Last year we were about to marry, everyone was veryy happy, hi family and my family met then his mother ask for few details and wanted to do enquiry and all of my family and she said she wont allow me to work, i said yes to everthing as i was in love and wanted to marry him everything was soo good but just after the family meeting i said him that he shouldn’t speak a single word in front of his family as i was expecting him support me and say that its been 5 years we know each and already discussed everthing then i got upset from him , we faught and later on he said everthing to his mother and she start hated me , We broke up:(
The second step to getting your ex back is forgiveness. You'll never be able to be together again if you can't forgive each other. Initiate this yourself. Why did you break up? Did you cheat, did he cheat, did the love evaporate, or you got bored, what is it? It doesn't really matter the point is that you give each other a clean slate. Don't talk about what happened in the past with him.
Recently just told him im fed up of him not making effort. He spends time with other people and not me. This is a little weird I know. Told him We need to talk (txt). He act txted back” out free Sat” I just replied i am going away for 2 weeks. He probably thinks its the truth. Space is what I needed. Yes I am playing hard to get. To smooth it all out/ Been crazy. He been going out ALOT. Changing his fb pic and not attending skype AT ALL!.
My boyfriend and I are in complicated situation, we want to be together but we can’t because of his mother, so we are just being friends now and he says that we are more than that but less then couples. I don’t know what to think cause’ sometime it feels like he doesn’t want to talk to me or that he’s only giving me short answers when we text but when you skype, its a whole different situation. When we skype, it feels like that we were still going out and so its confusing me so much. We would still be together if his mum didn’t poke her nose in our business but I understand that he’s respecting her wants but it hurts me. She think that she is doing a good thing when it’s causing so much pain for me to not even be able to see him in person, I need help to know what to do please.
Negative responses do not feel good at all. It really sucks and can feel like the end of the world especially if you put a lot of work into getting your ex boyfriend back. Your best bet in these situations is to simply not respond at all and understand that your ex is still processing their emotions. It doesn’t necessarily mean that all hope is lost it just means you may need to be more patient and try again in a week or so.

Yes, there are certain rules even for your mini date/meet up or whatever you want to call it. As stated above, you want to keep this meet up as casual as possible. Don’t plan to meet over a nice dinner. I suggest getting coffee at Starbucks with chairs and couches where the two of you can just sit and talk. Another great idea would be to meet up at a park and go for a walk together. Honestly, the dates I have enjoyed the most wasn’t anything super romantic it was just when I was enjoying the company of someone else and walking around.


Give yourself some time to reflect. Not only should you give her some space, but you should give yourself some space to reflect and think about what went wrong in the relationship. Take the time to sit down and ask what you did to make her not want you; were you too attentive, too moody, or too distant? Whatever you did, you have to make sure never to do it again if you want a moment of her day.
I’m trying this out… We broke up almost 3 months ago. Within a week he had a new girlfriend. He told me he just wants to be friends. But also says how he can’t get over me, is still in love with me and wants to have a baby. But what I can’t understand is why he doesn’t want to me committed with me. We’ve been talking for the past two weeks and even had sex a few times. After reading this I feel like I should just start over. Step by step.. At this point I really don’t know how else to deal with it!! My enitre heart is broken, he’s truly the love of my life… Advise please!!!
Try answering these questions: Do you miss your ex, or do you miss having a boyfriend or girlfriend? Did he or she make you feel better about yourself, more secure in the world, and happier? Do you imagine yourself with this person in the long-term, even when the excitement of being in love has worn off and you are stuck in the daily routines of life? If you are only missing the security of having someone and the excitement of a dramatic relationship, you can find those things with someone else in a healthier, more stable relationship.
Save my relationship with my boyfriend. i love him so much and i want to spend the rest of my life with him. He stopped loving and our relationship fell apart i have trying Lord really hard. i traveled across seas to be with him and yet he looks at me like Please fix us almighty. help him see how much i love him so that he may return to me with more love than he did before.

We’ve hooked up twice now and it’s been amazing, but I find that I dont want a relationship yet I want him all to myself. I dont have time for a conventional relationship, but I dont want to miss out on a relationship with him down the line. He says he doesnt want a relationship either, and I dont know whether he feels anything more for me but I find it very confusing. I realized I liked him more than a friend when I began anticipating his replies to texts and getting anxious when he takes too long to reply.
I was insecurebecause usually he’ll call me on lunch time then became like I haven’t got any calls till come home late at night such as 2 a.m. then I get frustrated and let him sleep out in the carthen I get emotional and let him in the house then I just felt like I wasn’t his girlfriend.it was a Friday night he was supposed to come from normal time and bring dinner to he didn’t come the next day so I went to work came home and all his clothes where gone no calls are text message from him.. I had complain a lot.. what should I do to get b him back to love we again.. I’m going to do the no contact b rule ima follow those steps and see how it goes
When I was a medical student I was walking along Third Ave one evening and stopped to argue with a friend of mine, at the same time leaning against a doorway, which suddenly swung in precipitating me down a couple of steps into a weird hallway. Odd decorations were hanging all along the wall, evidently for sale. I only remember a used toilet seat which had a price on it of thirty dollars, quite a lot of money back then. Anyway, this place turned out to be some sort of shop, although there was no sign anywhere. The proprietor was a fat, unkempt woman who had a cigarette dangling from her mouth. She took one look at me and said that what I needed was a "love potion." I needed something, I knew, so I ordered the love potion, which was not as expensive as the toilet seat-- but cost too much, I told her. She got mad and muttering took the potion back.
While it is important to not pursue your ex for a month or so, it's okay to be responsive if he or she pursues you. In other words, if you get a call, don't hang up on your ex or refuse to talk. It is not necessary to try to play mind games or play hard to get, and doing so would have the potential to push him or her further away, which is the opposite of your goal at this point.[6]
My boyfriend broke up with me last week and pretty much out of no where. I’m pretty devastated and having a hard time accepting it. I kinda went bat sh!t crazy texting him 2 days after we broke up. The day after, he would respond and such. The 2nd day he didn’t respond at all and I kinda went crazy, but I don’t think i went over the edge or the limit. 3rd day I didn’t not bother to text him nor attempting in the future. Do you think the 2 days I attempt to contact him will make me like a crazy ex gf? Yesterday, I saw he unfollow me on snapchat, but still have me on FB and IG. Hope you can reply back!
Let him see it, but don't say it. Tell him you had a great time, and that you could meet up some time to hang out… he will feel like his leg was chopped of for not kissing, but he will know that you want more, that there might be a new, bright future for the two of you. All night he'll be flipping around in bed, thinking about how beautiful you are and how much he wants to get back with you. I'm not saying you should be ice-cold when you meet up, on the contrary, be cold, but a bit mysterious, make him wonder.
WOW I don’t “KNOW” you…But I really like you! ?You are HILARIOUS and REAL and it’s clear that you’ve truly been “there” before by the things that you say. It’s like your taking these feelings and thoughts straight from MY mind and typing them out. I LOVE what you stand for (and what you don’t stand for). Well my question is in the last paragraph from what’s above, when you say something like : after getting your ex back he will eventually SHOW you (if we took your advice about showing we’re not putting up with the bs) that the break-up was a good thing.- Are you saying you feel they’ll still be the same way they were BEFORE the breakup (a f*cktard?) or they will possibly have changed for the better due to us setting those “what’s not acceptable” boundaries? And do you always feel that they would ONLY want you back due to a wanting to be in control thing not ever because they actually love you? Just wondering
So this girl broke up with me last week and during the weekend I was really drunk, and I was talking to someone about how I felt and I said some pretty messed up things that are just terrible, and I don’t remember who the person was but the person that I told everything too they told her and I up finding out Tuesday or Monday and she was just really upset she told my friend everything and the things I said were really really messed up they were really wrong and I didn’t think about what I said I just said things because I was so drunk and now I just want her back. But now I just gotta face the consequences and I can’t do it myself I just need someones help, but anything contact me at 862-812-9341. I also heard she made her mind up already, it’s only been a week so I don’t think so, but she did block me on everything someone just help me, she meant the world to me.
Discuss solutions. This step may be the hardest part, coming up with solutions you both can live with. That means agreeing on what you think the main problems are in the marriage and coming up with ways you can both work to make it better. Basically, you need to compromise. Blaming each other isn't going to help, as you've both contributed to the situation you're in.[16]

Similar situation, Charlotte. I’ve been going through some rough anxiety and depression and have been moody a lot and he decided it is not right for him. We had planned a life together. We were so sure we were meant for each other. I am trying so hard to get back to myself with a change of medication. It’s difficult because we do work together. I’m devastated and lost.
WOW I don’t “KNOW” you…But I really like you! ?You are HILARIOUS and REAL and it’s clear that you’ve truly been “there” before by the things that you say. It’s like your taking these feelings and thoughts straight from MY mind and typing them out. I LOVE what you stand for (and what you don’t stand for). Well my question is in the last paragraph from what’s above, when you say something like : after getting your ex back he will eventually SHOW you (if we took your advice about showing we’re not putting up with the bs) that the break-up was a good thing.- Are you saying you feel they’ll still be the same way they were BEFORE the breakup (a f*cktard?) or they will possibly have changed for the better due to us setting those “what’s not acceptable” boundaries? And do you always feel that they would ONLY want you back due to a wanting to be in control thing not ever because they actually love you? Just wondering
There are some who think that marriage is inviolable. Different religions may forbid or discourage divorce. It was thought once that the public interest demanded that divorce be made difficult, so that children would not be left homeless. In New York State, divorce was only possible in the context of infidelity, and so men and women would routinely perjure themselves and defame themselves in order to get a divorce. But it is not that way in New York anymore; and divorce has generally become more acceptable. But divorce, like any other serious relationship, is rarely ended without emotional distress.
Broke up with my ex after 6 years, he was manipulative, a liar and a cheat. As soon as we split up he started dating another girl. I asked him about it and he denied it. Anyway, it’s been 7 weeks now and he has been in constant contact with me. Last week it all come out that he was dating that girl all along. He admitted it all to me and told me he wanted me back, I foolishly told him that we could sort things out. He then decided he didn’t want me back and has now run back to that girl. It’s been a week since this happened and I haven’t heard off him since. I know I should not want a person like that back in my life. But I just want him to regret what he’s done and come begging for me back. Will he be sorry? And Is this girl just a rebound or does he really like her? I can’t stop obsessing over him. Every minute of the day he’s on my mind and I constantly stalk him and her on social media.
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