Then we were completely out of each other’s lives. I stopped thinking about her entirely—save for those random moments I’d spot short brunettes reading on library stairs. I spent the next four years dating other people, with some hits and many misses. One woman stole a couple hundred dollars out of my checking account and got engaged to another guy while we were living together.
To improve your self-esteem, concentrate on your strengths in all areas: emotional, social, talents and skills, appearance, and any others that are important to you. For example, you might have natural empathy, the ability to make people feel understood, a talent for baking, and gorgeous hair. Focusing on the positive and ignoring the negative can help you to feel adequate and valuable as an individual, especially when you connect the best parts of yourself to helping others.[9] If you feel useless, make yourself useful! Take your natural empathy and talent for baking and bake some fresh cookies for your elderly neighbors.
My ex broke up with me about two weeks ago. He says he was tied of arguing. He was saying another girl a couple times but they are no longer talking. He always text me calls me and wants me to hang out with him or stay the night at my place. He text me when I’m at work with xoxo and always says he loves me and is more affectionate toward me now then when we were together. But he still says he dosn’t want a girlfriend right now I’m confused.

One of the most devastating mistakes you can make is trying to force it to work with a guy who is wrong with you. I’ve seen people spend years of their life trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. Everyone in their life tells them to just move on and let him go but they can’t. Why? Because they don’t have clarity or any objectivity because they are still sucked into the emotional whirlpool and have yet to break themselves free.
Need some advice here, my ex girlfriend/ girlfriend just broke it off after a night at the bar. The night started out with a romantic dinner and then we met her friends out at the bar.. We both had a great night until after bar close when we were trying to decide on what we were going to all do the rest of the night.. We ended up getting in an argument about something, to be honest I don’t remember, and she just told me to go home. She proceeded to walk away with her and a few of her guy friends so naturally I got upset. I contemplated on what to do and them decided to walk to her place.. That was obviously not a good decision, when I got there I got upset and accused her of not wanting to be with me and she went on to say that I followed her he and was stalking her which was not my intent at all.. After going back and forth I just flat out asked if we were over and if she even wanted to be with me and she responded no I don’t want to be. I then immediately started to try and plead with her and ask her why and kept trying to get her to talk to me about it and all she did was tell me to leave and go home, which I did after waiting for a cab for an hour.. On the way home in the cab I was so damn upset and sent her a text message that she didn’t care about me and that I was easily replaced by by one of her guy friends that was at her place with everyone.. She responded with what r u talking about and I then responded with I know your sleeping with him I could tell how lit up your face was when you looked at him and then told her one more time that she was going to sleep with him.. She responded back by saying she wasn’t and that I’m crazy. About a half hour goes by and she text me back that she misses me and said that she was getting a cab to come over.. So she came over and apologized for being a brat and apologized for the night.. I then asked her why she got so mad and she said she didn’t remember.. So I let it be figured we would talk in the morning about it, so we had sex and went to bed. The next morning comes and I try to talk to her and she said she didn’t want to talk about it so I did what I shouldn’t have and prayed at her a little bit to get her to talk and she flipped out and said I just want to go home so asked her again do you even want to be with me and she said I don’t know. I brought her home and when I dropped her off I asked if I could have a kiss and we kissed and she said ill talk to you later.. She finally got back to me 14 hrs later and said that she didn’t feel good and had been sleeping all day which I guess I can understand after a full night of drinking.. I did send her a text and left her a voicemail saying how torn up and confused I am about everything but didn’t say it in a demanding way at all.. The next day I sent her another message in the afternoon asking her if she would have time to talk in person and she said yea.. Being absolutely heartbroken at this point I decided to make her a huge bouquet of flower along with a handwritten card apologizing for everything that happened.. I brought them over to her place and she was still sleeping saying she didn’t feel good so I just dropped th off and we agreed to talk tomarow about things.. I’m just so confused right now, I know we have only been seeing each other for 2 months but I don’t understand how things coul end like they did I have been in this 100%and treat her like an absolute queen.. What should I so here I don’t want to loose this girl she is absolutely one of a kind and I genuinely care for her

I founded out he cheated on me two weeks ago not heard from him and now the loan people he answered to but he’s. Not speaking to anyone else. as he’s gone holiday I have no idea when he back worried outta mind but he said he would pay off the loan for me but he needs to sort it out with me. and I’m scared he’s not going to talk to me I still love him
Act like nothing is wrong. Even if your guts are tumbling like clothes in a washing machine, try not to let her know. She's probably not going to want you back if you're acting depressed, mopey, or sulky. Make sure you're laughing and genuinely trying to have a good time. You might find that you've become a happier person along the way. If you are feeling depressed, surround yourself with friends or family. Don't wait alone in a corner and just hope for her to come back to you.
Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
A week ago my boyfriend of 7 years told me that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. That he still cared and loved me but that he wasn’t happy and the spark was gone. He was my whole world, this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. The problem is that we have to still share an apartment together for another month until I can get my own. I have been trying to stay busy and thinking positive thoughts. But it’s hard when you still have to see him.
Or you can say something like: "You may not like it, but most of what I do now, I do it for you. You've made a better person. I understand what it means to care for someone now that I've been with you. I want to share that with you again, this time better. Because I can't deny that I still have feelings for you. I'd be lying to myself and lying to the world."

I’m in the exact same situation, I know he loves me, but he’s tierd of believing I would stop making problems out of everything, he tells me he has stopped believing he can love me, but that he really thinks he might stop thinking that after some time. This all happened in one week, I don’t believe he has stopped loving me, all the times he told me never to doubt his love, it can’t end like this. For now I’m going to give him time, not talk to him.. But I don’t know how to let him know I have changed and that we can truly bé together without any troubles and fusses. What happened with you Anabelle, have you solved it? I really need help
I have to admit I have been doing all this ever since the last time u email me, not only you but my closest friends told me the same thing and I still didn’t listen until yesterday I had a conversation with two people I trust the most and remember what he said and did and decided that that was it. Sadly I still see him at work but I will listen and follow everyone’s advice. Finally!! ????????
I got desperate yesterday and said i will change AGAIN, this time is gonna be different and blahblah. But i confessed about why i didn´t change in the relationship, i didn´t take his words seriously when he nearly broke up and that i know my faults, what i can work on and i know it was wrong that i grieved our past when i was with him, it´s not wrong to grieve, but it affected me so much that i got stuck in overthinking that instead of working on the relationship. He wrote to me today ” my feelings got a little less stronger each time you promised me change and i didn´t see any, i gave you so many chances just because i´ve never felt this way before and i really wanted to be with you, if i only saw A LITTLE change i know my feelings would be as strong as they´ve always been” So he wanted to be with me but he couldn´t stand to give any more chances.
If you’ve been answering yes to lots of the questions above, then it’s likely that you’ll answer yes to this one too. Why? Because believing that your girlfriend is the most suitable partner you could realistically get, creates a scarcity mindset around attractive women which brings out all the needy, desperate and try-hard (i.e. unattractive) behaviors that we discussed above.
I love this article, I am definitely going to follow your advice. My only concern is that my ex might’ve done the 4wk no contact along with every thing else to me already. He now texts me everyday and he recently told me that he loves me and he misses me but hasn’t said he wants to get back together and he is talking to another girl. Should I still do this?
To begin the process, I recommend that you have what I call the Perfection Conversation with her. Essentially, you need to acknowledge to her that you are not perfect (in terms of how you’ve been behaving and treating her), but for the sake of your love, you are willing to continually make a serious effort to become a better man for her. In the same conversation, you also need to get her to acknowledge and realize that she is not perfect either.
Stop trying to get your ex back if the relationship was toxic or abusive. It might feel temporarily lonely or even boring to be on your own after the end of a tumultuous relationship, but try to ride that feeling out instead of going back to your ex. On again, off again relationships tend to be based on unhealthy patterns that won't go away. Resist the temptation to jump right back in when you know you're better off without him.

Well we broke up just 8 days ago.. actually he broke up with me anyway when i ask him to reason he said “I think it’s not gonna work. I always leave you alone and I know you have suffer about so I don’t wanna make you upset anymore” (for me it’s a stupid reason) normally he is an introverted person who doesn’t like to share his past and whatever happens he keeps smile that’s why I wanna be with him all the time. He got jealous when I changed my profile picture (I was with my friend) so he kept asking me that who is that person after we broke up. He also told me that “I can’t imagine my life without you in it” so he made me confused. I’m still inlove with him and I feel that he is still love me but Idk what should I do? T.T 

So my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and 4 months. Honestly he was obsessed and so was I but i became too comfortable. He was my world and I never thought he would leave me. He would always chase after me and showering me with love and it made me the happiest person alive. One day he got tired of fighting with me and he dumped. told me he didnt want me anymore. I looked like a fool, i begged i cried i ran after him but he just walked away with his head up. it was so painfully. he blocked me on everything so i dont have contact but if i text him he will usually unblock to read my messages. it hurts so bad and as messed up as it is i still want him. I want him back so badly it kills.
Or you can say something like: "You may not like it, but most of what I do now, I do it for you. You've made a better person. I understand what it means to care for someone now that I've been with you. I want to share that with you again, this time better. Because I can't deny that I still have feelings for you. I'd be lying to myself and lying to the world."
Tell her in person. Set a time to meet in a public place, or a place that you know she'll feel comfortable in. When the time is right, say: "I know I made some mistakes during our relationship, and I wanted to take full responsibility for those. I shouldn't have done [whatever it is you did] to you, and I feel horrible now. But the biggest mistake I made was losing you. I don't expect anything from you, I just want you to know that."
This will make him feel horrible that he can't have you anymore whenever he wants. Desire kicks in, and now he feels like an idiot for not staying with you. After he runs into you, he'll think “Gosh, she looks amazing!” – just wait to see his jaw drop when he sees how you look 5 times better. I know this sounds shallow, but it works simply because most guys think with what they've got in their pants, not with their heart or brain. Even if he's a pretty smart guy, physical attraction can be the first step to getting your ex-boyfriend back. It's just the first step, but it's a crucial one – 'cause now you've got your foot in the door. You throw a hook and wait for him to bite.
Social media is a very useful tool for this. First thing you can try is to post pictures of you and your friends out having fun, clearly not seeming too concerned about the breakup. This will indicate higher mate value, because if your pictures show that the breakup doesn’t seem to have affected you too badly, the way she’ll see it, evidently you feel you could REPLACE her if you needed to. Because if you couldn’t replace her, then you’d seem more upset about having lost her…
The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own.
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.
Thank you so much. The article helps me so much to feel better. My boyfriend just broke up with me today and I cant accept it. But the reason is i was cheating on him with my boss. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 6 months. We’ve been broken up for dozens of times but we still keep on trying and hoping it will work out. Because of my broken family,I needed more attention from my boyfriend and I started to act needy and Jealous.He’s sick and tired of it but because he loves me,he’s always giving me chances to work it out. I know we’re on the edge and that made me think “what if I’m with another guy who I can be trusted financially?”
The first thing that you need to do is simple, stop talking to them. You need to drop communication completely. You absolutely need to stop this overall. Many people feel the need to text them back, call them back, or just try to be in their sight. Don’t do that. You have to cut everything out. Walk away, stop talking, stop texting, and walk away from social media. When you talk to them after the break up, you’re going to end up causing them to think that you’re not quite as good as she once thought. You don’t want her to justify the reason why she walked away.
he’s been exerting effort to focus on this other girl and probably hopes that they have a future together. i can sense though that he’s not totally happy. he’d still tell me that he misses the way we communicate. though i still sense his resistance, it bothered me why he still had to tell me that most of the time he can’t help but miss me in their conversations. i’m not sure what to make of his actions but i do believe that he still has strong feelings for me.
Relationships often end in a whirlwind of doubt and bitter accusation. You probably said a few things you didn't mean, and she fought back. Now that you've had a little bit of time to think about what's been lost, you know you want her back. If you put your heart and mind to it, you might be able to win her over all over again. Fixing whatever went wrong in the first place can be all it takes to prove that you've changed.

If you have the sinking feeling that your relationship is on the rocks, then it's time to reflect on your relationship and try to save it. To save it, you're going to need to work together to figure out the problem or problems you're having, as well as a solution to those problems. You're also going to need to work at loving each other again and reconnecting to what you felt in the past.


You just started dating a new guy. You are in that honeymoon phase and everything is great. You are constantly complimenting him and giving him acknowledgment that he is wanted by you. Basically he loves hearing that you are interested in him. However, as time goes on things begin to change. You don’t compliment him as much because you don’t need to land him anymore. This is when the problems begin for him.
Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says a lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up, Fay says. "Sex," she says, "brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy."
Hey,I'm so excited my broken Marriage has been restored & my husband is back after he left me and our 2 kids for another woman. After 8 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart. my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across Priest Elijah he can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back the next day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before,All thanks to Priest Elijah. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Priest Elijah is a real and very powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the times of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Effectivelovespell1 @gmail. com , you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2347067136561
The first thing that you need to do is simple, stop talking to them. You need to drop communication completely. You absolutely need to stop this overall. Many people feel the need to text them back, call them back, or just try to be in their sight. Don’t do that. You have to cut everything out. Walk away, stop talking, stop texting, and walk away from social media. When you talk to them after the break up, you’re going to end up causing them to think that you’re not quite as good as she once thought. You don’t want her to justify the reason why she walked away.

I left my cheating ex and gave him a chance, we got serious and introduced each other to our families and parents. The 1st year of the relationship was amazing, he would bring roses when he visited, take me for romantic dinners, send romantic texts and call me and speak for hours. As time passed things started getting different…feeling different…He never made me feel special like before and I was afraid I was losing him, which in a way made me angry and I started arguments and fights with him all the time..In the past 3 and a half years we’ve broken up every year before christmas and new year..he left…after 6months he would come back…Last year when he came back,we promised each other that we would never let our relationship go through that ever again…few months down the line…I could feel that we were taking each other for granted again…He never use to call me, he was too tired or too busy to text me..He always had excuses when it came to weekends for us to spend time together…It made me feel unimportant and as if he had met someone else…though I knew deep down he was never one to cheat, assuming,crazy thoughts and anger caused us to fight constantly,but still we loved each other very much…September last year he was writing exams and told me that he will not have anytime for me, It hurt but i understood because I knew it was important to him..Until I found pictures of him on social networks at clubs with his friends…which tore me to pieces..He lied!! Were his friends,drinking and clubbing more important to him then me? I am 22 years old and since I met him I gave up all my friends and clubbing for him,because he didnt like that…I would pine and crave to be with him and see him or even hear his voice…but all I would get from him was excuses.. Earlier Last year he spoke to me about getting engaged and starting a life together and of how much he loves me….November last year he called it quits when he found out that I had one of his male friends in whatsapp(innocently),I would never cheat on him,leave alone that…with his friend…Since then Ive tried everything possible to make things right, met with his parents,sent texts,tried calling, even drove out to a place nearby to where he lives and texted him to say Im waiting to talk to him…he ignored me every single time…xmas passed,so did new year…still nothing…then I realised I was hurting myself more by trying and getting rejected all the time, even after finding out he had a profile on a dating network, I still forgave and tried…I stopped contacting him for 2weeks,…a week back I received 2 missed calls from him, I regreted that I missed his call but I did not try and call back, I msg’d him a day after and he responded…that gave me a little hope that there was still something between us…After that I havent contacted him until lastnight when I couldnt stop thinking about him and decided to send him an I miss you msg…a beeeeeg mistake!!! I wasnt very happy with his reply and in an emotional state I replied with a nasty msg…I think I just made things worse… Im at that very hurt and confused stage right now… where when I think about all the things he has done to hurt me it makes me feel as If I dont want to be with him,but deep down inside I know how much I love him and that I can forgive him for anything because the love is enough, He still keeps in contact with my family and my mum, not to sure if thats a good thing… I will try your tips and hope it works:-) Ive now realised that he knows exactly how I feel about him and that I want a long lasting relationship with him, but Ive tried and Ive done my part…I cant be rejected every single day when I try to contact him…HIS NOT A NEED IN MY LIFE….BUT I DO WANT HIM TO BE IN MY LIFE…I love him alot, but you cant force someone to be with you if they dont want to…the time apart(breaking off contact) may bring him back or may help me get over him….If its meant to be it will be….
If you’re noticing that your ex is losing interest in you or talking with you, getting on with their own life, moving on and moving past your former relationship, avoiding your calls, are always busy instead of wanting to talk or never seem to be around when you’re calling, you may be a little uncomfortable. These signs don’t necessarily mean that her decision to leave you is set in stone. There are some techniques that go outside the box that can work in even the most hopeless of circumstances. You just need to change the way she sees you and get her mindset to change. It’s not as hard as it sounds.
I’m 41 years old and my husband has recently told me that he wanted out of the marriage and he actually left a few days later, after 21 years of marriage… …After the initial shock wore off and I was able to think straight…I purchased your system…. …I was able to persuade him to give me and the marriage another chance… …I had to wing it with only your strategies in my head… …Many, many thanks for your resources…”

I love this girl and my dad made me break up with her I didn’t want it but I had to ,so when I did break up with her, I didn’t talk to her for about a month because I would never hurt a girl so what I thought was not to talked to her for a monthbut I was wrong I made things worse its been a year now I did that 2 weeks things still nothing she’s in love with another boy but I still think she loves me because she used to be way in love with me but it is what it is I guess.


I love the no contact rule blog post!! And it really showed me some insights, thanks so much for that. Two weeks ago I broke up. I have to deal with the fact that he’s biking through my street to work every morning and evening. One time he was biking by and we saw each other and he waved, well i just crashed.. the other day we bumped into each other. This doesn’t really help me in my process to be honoust. Can I text him and ask if he could take another way to work maybe or what should I do about this?
The love that you and a woman share NEVER goes away. What happens is that the love gets pushed into the background because of all the negative feelings in the foreground. To get back in touch with the loving feelings you once experienced with each other, you need to make changes to your behavior and how you treat her. When you do this correctly, the love naturally comes flooding back.
It's important to not just talk, but to listen and hear what your partner has to say about what's going on in your relationship.[5] You can show you're listening by summarizing what your partner has to say to show you've understood what he or she has said. You can also ask questions that show you've heard what the person has said and that you want to know more.
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