Need some help. Devastated. I was with my girlfriend for 18mths. Moved in together after 10mths. We went on a trip overseas and it was hell. two months later she ended it. She was upset she did it and said she misses me and we kept seeing each other for about a month. Then told me its not happening. She’s fallen outta love. Hurts like hell. She said she did try in that month but its gone for her and that she can’t talk for awhile and needs space. Then, stupidly, I was bored and missing her about 2wks later and sent her text saying that if i was better to her we’d be doing something together right now. She got back to me the day after and wasn’t happy at all. Asked for me to stop contacting her and that she will never love me again. Ouch! I really want her back. Not sure what to do from here. How do i get her back?
By the way, this article is on point!!! Men hate sniffy, sneezy, blubbering women…so quit it!!!!! Just act like you’re some hot chick from baywatch…exercise, take a bubble bath…and mention it to him, wear Paris Hilton perfume, have flippy, blowy hair, perk up the boobies, get your makeup on point, sport an awesome medi/pedi, eyebrow wax, wear Victorias secret body lotion, and dress to kill. Then, act like a man…and get over what ever the problem was so you can have fun…just quit whining!!! Problems with this???? Ask yourself what would the baywatch chick do in this situation. Answer: Smile ’cause she has the man. Now let me add that I hate when women say I tried not to be clingy but I couldn’t help it…go get a hobby, or at least read a book or what about the newspaper…or…the internet….or maybe google how NOT to be overbearing!!! In other words….Get yo’ life! If you simply must blubber and complain, save it for nighttime when you’re alone with your sock monkey!!! You heard of save the drama for your mama, right?
The point isn't just that you get your ex back, but that you KEEP him. Often folks just have sex again, once or twice, but things don't work out and they end up breaking up again. So don't take anything for granted. Make sure he has the best night of his life when you make up, but after that don't drop into your “old” relationship with your ex, instead – create something new.
So my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and 4 months. Honestly he was obsessed and so was I but i became too comfortable. He was my world and I never thought he would leave me. He would always chase after me and showering me with love and it made me the happiest person alive. One day he got tired of fighting with me and he dumped. told me he didnt want me anymore. I looked like a fool, i begged i cried i ran after him but he just walked away with his head up. it was so painfully. he blocked me on everything so i dont have contact but if i text him he will usually unblock to read my messages. it hurts so bad and as messed up as it is i still want him. I want him back so badly it kills.
About 2 weeks ago, after an intense brunch date he texts me saying he doesn’t think I am capable of or know how to be in a solid relationship. He listed all my flaws (he was right about some of it) and he pretty much said he didn’t want to be in a relationship where his girlfriend showed no emotion. Other hurtful things were said and I was blindsided by it all.
Okay so my boyfriend broke up with me because I was transferring to another college while he was being forced to go back to Chicago. When we talked, he told me he was staying a bit longer but he still chooses to go to Chicago, despite that he didn’t really want to break up with me. How do I know if he really wants me back? I still love him, but I don’t want to chase him away.
Interpret your emotions. In the pain and confusion of a breakup, it can be easy to confuse your emotions, interpreting feelings of loneliness and hurt as evidence that you need your ex back in your life. In fact, almost everyone who experiences a breakup initially feels remorse for the lost relationship, coupled with feelings of anxiety, guilt, depression, and loneliness. Generally, the more serious the relationship was, the more severe these feelings tend to be; couples who are married or cohabiting tend to have the worst breakups, whereas those who were casually dating tend to have an easier time in the aftermath of a breakup.[1] But the severity of your feelings does not automatically mean that you should get back together with your ex.
I say all that to make the point that AS face-to-face is how getting a girl back generally happens, you’ll thus need to set up a meet with your ex during the course of your texting or calling sessions. You can’t skip directly TO that part, because you first need to build some positive vibes so that she actually WANTS to meet up when you ask her to, but inviting her to meet IS something that you’ll need to do once she’s enjoying the conversation.
My boyfriend just broke up with my about two and a half weeks ago. Even though we’re only 17, our relationship was very mature and strong. We both talked about future plans such as marriage and kids and we were both on the same page. We have been dating for about 1.5 years. We were such a strong couple, completely in love. Our relationship was very serious. He gave me a promise ring and we always said we were going to be together forever. His family loved me and my family loved him. We were really a great couple, having mutual interests.
Don't try to save a relationship that's toxic or abusive. There's really no way to work on a relationship that's based on toxic patterns or abuse. No amount of working on communication techniques or trying to reignite the romance is going to make things better long-term. You may feel that you're getting something out of the relationship, but you have a lot more to gain by being free.
“I recently got back in touch with my ex and we’re trying to make it work again. What I felt really helped me through the process was the no contact rule for at least three months and truly working on yourself and learning to find happiness outside of the relationship. I got involved with different hobbies, such as sports/working out to make myself feel good, as well as go back to salsa dancing which was something I love to do.”
Thanks for these tips, Jason. All of the other material I’ve read online had advice that I didn’t really jive with. “Don’t talk to him for a month or for 50 years!” Obviously every person and relationships is different so following a specific formula isn’t practical. Absence can make the heart grow fonder…or just further convince that person that there’s no point in going back. Your article stated pretty much what I believed I should try to do after my recent break up with my long term casual bf/sex buddy. Thank you.
Well I think you have kicked yourself in the A** my friend, first of you did not respect his space once going home after he already assured you that things were ok by making up with you before leaving back home. Secondly you felt the need to idk… “Make sure” he was REALLY ok and still “Wanted me” you felt the need to turn simi stalker on him when everything was ok if you just went home went about your life kept normal communication open keep yourself up go to the gym, keep up with school & friends but no you turn all your attention focusing on issues that weren’t even there. So now he’s at the point to where in his eyes i have to be honest you are emotionally unstable and are possibly the kind of girl that given the right situation or get your angry enough you might do harm to him or get physical in some way YES you put yourself in the CRAZY box! Nothing right now is going to change his mind right now the best thing you can do is LEAVE HIM ALONE, cut all communication with him let him get in touch with you i repeat DO NOT CONTACT HIM AGAIN! if he chooses to get in touch with you he will if he doesn’t…. well you know why.
I have a problem likes it… My boyfriend and I were together for 1 year and half. in fact from 6 months age our relationship became so complicated and it was my fault! last week he told me that he wants to be just friend…since next week he gonna go to another country, where he studies, and he won’t come back till 3 months I’m really confused about what should I do! :| So if you find any efficient way…tell me plZ!

Plan, plan, plan. Fay suggests making an appointment, but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap or a "before-work quickie." Ask friends or family to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation," Fay says. Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun, too, she says. Why not have sex in the kitchen? Or by the fire? Or standing up in the hallway?
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”
We women tend to think that giving and giving to a man will bring him closer. And this includes doing things like checking up on him to see how he’s doing. It’s what I call “overfunctioning.” Don’t do it! A man is accustomed to valuing what he has to work for, so if you put in effort and make it easy for him, he will actually value you less. We work hard because we think that if we don’t he’ll assume we don’t care enough about him, and he’ll go away. But this is simply untrue. If you lean back and let go of the reigns, you give your boyfriend the chance to see what it feels like to be without you, and if he’s worth it you will get your boyfriend back. Remember this: men commit to you not because they want to be with a woman, but because they can’t stand to be WITHOUT you. Let him feel what it’s like NOT to have you in his life.

Out of the blue he just stopped talking to me. We go to the same school and there we usually talk but one day he started avoiding me and stopped texting me, too. A couple days later I found him before school and tried to ask him what was going on. He didn’t really answer. When I asked him if he still wanted to be together, all he did was shrugged. I was very upset at his response and just walked away.
I just broke up with my girlfriend yesterday…. She left me because I lied to her about me going out and drinking with my friends…. This isnt the first time I’m doing this to her… It’s not that I don’t love her….I feel so disgusted for what I have done…. I don’t wanna lose her…. I just don’t know how I’m gonna ignore her cause I meet her everyday in school…. Can anyone help me out
First of all getting back together with your ex because you are lonely is not a good idea. What you are experiencing is just one of the symptoms of breakup. Everyone feels like this. And it doesn’t last forever. Secondly, acting like this is only going to make your ex less attracted to you. And even if they do feel pity for you, they are not going to get back together because of it.
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday night I couldn’t believe it I was really hurt and I have been texting him a bunch.I’m pretty sure I just ruined any chance of getting back together.he said he likes me a little still but says he’s not upset about breaking up with me.its so confusing and I hope I didn’t ruin the chance to get back together because I love him a lot.I’m really upset.

And you always want what you think is good for you. So how can you make yourself better? You can start from appearance (new haircut, new clothes, get some muscles, eat healthier, etc) and a good attitude/be open-minded. Join meditation/yoga/learn new things. Upgrade yourself with your outer appearance and inner attitude. Be the best version of yourself.
After the breakup I did the whole crazy ex girlfriend thing then just stopped talking to him completely for 3months. We started talking again when we both turned up at our club unexpectantly and I apologised and asked him to hang out. But, I didnt feel like he was hearing me so I full on lost it a few times. And now we are back to not talking for a month now but we still see each other around at our club. I’d also made the mistake of telling him that I wanted to start the relationship from scratch and he baulked at that.
Right now is your time.  While your instincts are to obsess over your ex boyfriend and run through your mind over and over again as to what you did wrong, you have to stop thinking this way.  So what I want you to do is start writing down your vision of the future and what you want.  Don’t think so much about what happened in the past, but focus on what you are going to do to start healing.
The common thread that underlies these seven deadly sins is neediness. Neediness is the state of mind that encourages all the above actions. Believing that your ex is the source of your happiness, sense of well-being and/or self-esteem, is the type of thinking that will have you groveling and begging for your ex. Neediness is a state of mind more than a set of behaviors, it just manifests itself in certain actions. It’s a feeling that says: “I need you to respond to me in a certain way in order to feel OK.” (Make sure to read this article for more on neediness and how to prevent it.)
Let him see it, but don't say it. Tell him you had a great time, and that you could meet up some time to hang out… he will feel like his leg was chopped of for not kissing, but he will know that you want more, that there might be a new, bright future for the two of you. All night he'll be flipping around in bed, thinking about how beautiful you are and how much he wants to get back with you. I'm not saying you should be ice-cold when you meet up, on the contrary, be cold, but a bit mysterious, make him wonder.

I don’t know what to do. I met this guy. Stayed the night with him since DAY ONE. Five and a half years. It was an extremely rough relationship. Started fighting after six months. I couldn’t forgive him for all the bad things he had done to us. Lie after lie after lie. He went away for six months best the end of our relationship and we talked on the phone every single day. When he came back home, we both said that we would do whatever it takes to make things work for good. No arguing, etc. I couldn’t let go of the past and I started arguing with him about EVERYTHING. Especially if he even looked at another woman. Things got really really bad at the end. I started treating him like crap and didn’t care how I talked to him. After we broke up we still talked almost every day. He would still come over and be with me. But, I kept messing things up. I still would start arguments because I was afraid that he was putting other women above me. He’s dating one of our co workers now. And he moved in with her too. We’ve officially been separated for six and a half months now. He officially started dating her after I snapped at him one last time back in the beginning of February. I don’t feel the same tension that I did. I don’t feel the same hate anymore. I love him so much and I want him back. I got upset with him in the beginning of March and he teared up and told me that “I wanted it to be YOU!!!” But, he’s with this new chick. And he said that it’s a new relationship. How do I get him back? I know he loves me. I know it to be true. We all three work together but rarely do I see her anymore. Please, help me. I did the no contact rule for 30 days. April 2nd, before leaving work I apologized for being so selfish during the breakup and told him that I it makes me so happy to see him happy. He sincerely said “Thank you”. After he was shocked that is. After that day, we started having more laughs at work. Then I text him something funny the other day after we got off work and he responded “lol”. I haven’t heard from him since. I’m worried that he’s too happy and comfortable in his new relationship that I won’t be able to get him back into my personal life again. What am I to do?
My boyfriend and I broke up 4 days ago. We started having problems a few months ago and we just couldn’t fix them. It seemed like he just gave up on the relationship. We both still have feelings for each other, but we were both unhappy and stressed out. He started not texting me back, so I went psycho on him with my drunk texts and calls. That pushed him away and we broke up. He said right now isn’t the best time for our relationship and he does not want to put me first. Anyway, I really hope these steps work!
Find out each other's love languages. Everyone experiences love differently. Gary Chapman breaks this idea down into the five ways people experience love or the five love languages. If you've never taken the time to figure out each other's love languages, now is the time to do it. You can take quizzes online to figure out what your love language is.[26]

yo im going through the exact same thing right now. the girl of my dreams and i were together for 9 months. i had been friends with her for about a year before. then we ended up together. the nine months was great. absolutely amazing. sure it had its moments, but every relationship does. then i fell into that comfort zone, where i didnt realize how bad of a boyfriend i was being because i was working all the time and i would be exhausted, and she tuned me out because of it. we just broke up 2 1/2 weeks ago and were still talking but, she seeing another dude, who was a shoulder to cry on when she thought that i didnt love her anymore. we had a place together and i moved into my boys extra room. now she doesnt want to stay there by herself so she may move in with him. weve talked and she seems like the breakup isnt what she wanted but, she also seems like she likes the new guy somewhat if shes willing to move into his house right after we broke up. but i can tell that she does still love me, and i want my fuckin girl back. she has until the 1st of january to decide if shes gonna move. i dont know what to do. i feel like if she does move into his house, it’ll be too late for us to try in the future. what can i do to convince her not to move into this douchebox’s house?
I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year, and she just broke up with me because she seems to care more about her friends than she does our relationship. she wont make time for me and ever sinse we split she refuses to talk to me. I’m heartbroken completely. because we used to be perfect. how do i get her to speak to me again even though she doesnt want to, i need her, please help!
"Infidelity isn't the end of the marriage or the relationship," says April Masini, a relationship expert and author of books including Romantic Date Ideas, which includes sexy "at home" dates and fail-proof seduction secrets. She says if both people in the relationship really want things to work — in spite of feeling sad, betrayed or angry — it can be done. "The most important thing to remember is that most infidelities are a symptom of a problem in the relationship. They don't mean something is wrong with the person who cheated or the person who was cheated on. When couples can see infidelity as a relationship problem, they are more likely to be able to work on the relationship and go the distance."
Similarly, your relationship also didn’t come to an end just because your ex boyfriends finds someone prettier or sexier than you. It is crucial to understand your ex boyfriend was attract with your seductive, selective and sexier appearance and he didn’t leave you just because he finds someone sexier or seductive than you. If he didn’t like you in the first look then he never pursuit you over the other opportunities he had.
I do not understand why there are so many people online claiming they can get your ex back for you. My question is why would anybody want to have their ex back inspite of the breakup. Breakups happen for a reason. And ex’s are always troublemakers. Even if one does patch up, these relationship do not work. Better to start a new relationship then to try and repair and waste time on the troublesome old one. Why try and repair an old truck with no available spare parts.

Work on your self-esteem. If you struggle with neediness, you're probably a little lacking in the self-esteem department. You might be looking for your ex to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. It makes them feel guilty, obligated and eventually, resentful towards you.
im doing the same thing you’ll do now your not alone i know it hurts but that what u should do, let him lose you and thinks hes a failure dont allow him to think he can play with your feelings, your not his toy if he cant decide what he wants then leave him to grom up and make decisions in life, hes immature and you did the right thing your so smart of going no contact and standing on what you want bravo, now do not let him take advantage and decide what he wants do what you want, you want him as a bf he didnt respect that he wants friends you dont so bye to him and lifes always comes around believe me one day he’ll come begging to have you back.

Dear God, I have hit rock bottom. I have nowhere to turn and nobody to rely on. You are my rock. You are the only way. I am here no on my knees… holding back the flood of tears. Give me wisdom to save my relationship with my boyfriend Willie.I want him back in my life. I love him lord. I don’t want Willie to go to another woman/girl. I really really want him back. Please Lord Strengthten our Relationship and strengthen our love lord. I know only you can save this. I beg up you. I plead with you. Show us a better way together. Please open his heart to my love and your forgiveness. Please touch his soul at this very moment. Where ever he is and what he is doing… touch him Lord. Help him see we need to save this love. Please, I ask and pray with all the strength that you are giving me just to be able to breathe. i am lost without him. Lord I need him. I need to feel your love with him. Dear Lord I pray. Please give me the right words, guide me to help save our relationship. Show me how strong I can be through you. My tears soak my spirit, my heart is breaking. I cannot hold on. I feel like every ounce of life is draining from me. Renew me. Renew me. Make him see. Use us as an example of how forgiveness and your love can save and change people. Help him rebuke satan and his temptations. I love him so dear Lord. I will honor you with my love for him. Give me this chance. Please reach out to him now and help him see we need to save this. I love you Lord. I will never doubt your ability. Please do this. Save us. Please. I beg u Lord..
Please lord I ask that you allow Bryan and I to get through this difficult time. I pray that the anxiety he deals with lessens so that we may be given a chance to truly work on our relationship. We are blessed to have one another but as he steps back for a break, all I can do is hope that your guidance will give us the strength to heal and to see that our love should be embraced, cherished and honored instead of change into such sadness that will leave a permanent, indelible mark on our hearts.
Now the remaining part of this website will show you psychological and practical strategies for how to get your ex-boyfriend back that you can work with to remove the feelings of neediness and insecurity. It doesn’t matter how dreadful you are feeling inside you these strategies will surely reverse the feeling of rejection that your ex boyfriend wants you to feel. This will shift the balance of power back in your relationship.
The relationship is going really well in the beginning. You are seeing each other often and enjoy one another. You begin to prioritize him over other things going on in your life, like hobbies or nights out with friends. You tell yourself you are comfortable and don’t need to be “out there.” Everything is just the way you like it until … for some reason, you feel him pulling away.
Dear God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, grandma, grandpa, all the Angels and Saints and Archangels and anyone else I may have missed. Please help me with my relationship. We’ve been together a little over a year and both have young autistic children who are not getting along. We are trying to blend a family and keep moving forward in the right direction but lately have been stressed and fighting. My boyfriend is having a hard time and he’s closing up and giving up on us. Please pray for me and for the five of us. Please pray for my boyfriend. Help him have an open heart and mind and realize that we need each other and will overcome this. Please pray for him and anything he is going through that I do not know about. Please pray for our two little girls as well as the oldest. Please help them get along. Please help me and my jealous ways and help me to fight off all of my insecurities. Please pray for us tonight and everyday and to ward off anyone’s negative thoughts. Please in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Thanks for this post, Jason. After I read it I had a little hope that me and my ex-boyfriend COULD get back together. But then I scrolled down to the comments and I read everyone else’s comments, apprehensions, fears, emotional and psychological hardships that they’re going through and I wondered — if this is how a person is making us feel, is it worth it?
When you go out or have new experiences, take pictures of your new and improved appearance. When you’re doing your favourite things, take a picture. You can also take pictures with your friends. Be happy. Then post on social media like instagram or facebook. This will help you attract new friends too! Your ex may or may not see these photos. Who cares? You’re enjoying yourself and you will attract more like-minded people. But please don’t post too much. Posting once every two days is a good amount to not annoy others while showing your amazing life.

I’m 41 years old and my husband has recently told me that he wanted out of the marriage and he actually left a few days later, after 21 years of marriage… …After the initial shock wore off and I was able to think straight…I purchased your system…. …I was able to persuade him to give me and the marriage another chance… …I had to wing it with only your strategies in my head… …Many, many thanks for your resources…”
My girlfriend told me she did not love me the same way she used to. That I was more of a best friend type of love… She has new friends that go out alot and she also started to drink socially.. Im not sure this is a cry for independence or because her parents do not a good relationship . So i wondered if she imprinted her dads action on to me as I would treat her as he treats her and her mom….. I tried telling her I could do things differently and so on but she starts med school soon and I am not sure if she wants to be independent or what… I have not texted her and deleted my own facebook to avoid contact. She didnt cheat, we didnt end on a argument. I was the one who said okay goodbye. And thats the last time I talked to her ( 2 weeks ago). Any ideas on what i should do?
My ex came over for some of his stuff was amazed how the house looked, I did some rearranging. He said twice that the house looks nice and that I looked happy and then stated that he was probably the one holding me back. He said this about 2 times, the second time he said it I ask why he is saying something like that and he said he said he know perhaps he just feels guilty and so I told him that he wasn’t holding me back and then he notice I had a mini burn on my hand and ask me what happened I told him I got burnt from the stove. And so I got ready while he was checking his email on the computer, pretending that I was going out and he ask if I’m going some where and I said yes. And then I tease him a bit about his hair since he havnt. After that he said I looked happy and I said I am, that stuff got shift these pass weeks. And when he came out the gate walking on the road he said it again that I looked happy and I said I am. And so since he doesn’t have FB I texted him suggesting he get a fb account and add me, personally it would have been good if he saw some stuff I posted. Anyway he respond and said
Following this advice helped me save my relationship. At the start I the break up I was messaging him a lot and begging to get back together. I looked stupid. After reading this I tried the no contact rule and focused on bettering myself and finding distractions when I felt the urge to talk to him. Just pretending to move on helped me feel a lot better about myself. We were later forced to work together and I kept my head up ignored him the best I could besides work relations and showed him that I can move on. Shortly after that he broke down to me about missing me and doing anything to have me back.
I am devastated and lost. My ex and I met freshman year of college. He was always so into me more than I was into him. He was absolutely in love with me, I was his life line. He was so serious in seeing me as his life partner, his future and everything. He made it known that if we were ever to end it would be because I ended it, not him. I see where things got unhealthy–he always wanted to spend time with me mostly and we did spend all of our time together. This school semester he became more busy with schoolwork and practice, and we clearly spent less time together. Our lives became more routine together, because he still lived in my dorm and we got every meal together. We started having more problems because I was not the happiest with him. I would call him out on things he did that showed less interest in me because I was upset we were not spending as much time together. In addition, he became very hurt when he did not get into a social club on campus, because he suddenly felt like he had no friends and was not cool. One day while fighting, he decided he wanted to break up. This is the person who absolutely swore to never do such a thing, and even though in the past we were in positions where this could have occurred, we never actually ended things–we worked through them. When i reflect i seee that he believed all of a sudden we were spending too much time together, made too many controls together, and that he was missing social opportunities. However, this is the hole he made for himself because he wanted us together and did not care for others. I believe that the rejection from the club and him being annoyed with my behavior led him to believe he is no longer in love with me. He says he loves me more than anything, but does not feel the same way. I convinced him to try to feel emotions for me again, so the past month we continued the meals and living togetehr, but he would never kiss me on the lips and became distant. Then finally he broke up with me and said that he just wants to be single and is not in a place for a relationship right now. How do I handle this? I want him back, and I want everything we had back. He said he wants to be bestfriends, but I said no I cannot and that I want no communication, but we have not exactly had no communication because he texted me today a week later asking if I could help him financially and that he will give the money back as soon as he can (I told him to ask others first because this is disrespectful and then i would if otehrs couldnt, because he said he doesnt know who else to go to). I assumed he would come back to me, and it would show him that he needs me, but he says he found someone else to help him. How do I get him back? We have one class together a week.
I got desperate yesterday and said i will change AGAIN, this time is gonna be different and blahblah. But i confessed about why i didn´t change in the relationship, i didn´t take his words seriously when he nearly broke up and that i know my faults, what i can work on and i know it was wrong that i grieved our past when i was with him, it´s not wrong to grieve, but it affected me so much that i got stuck in overthinking that instead of working on the relationship. He wrote to me today ” my feelings got a little less stronger each time you promised me change and i didn´t see any, i gave you so many chances just because i´ve never felt this way before and i really wanted to be with you, if i only saw A LITTLE change i know my feelings would be as strong as they´ve always been” So he wanted to be with me but he couldn´t stand to give any more chances.
Usually, men that follow my recommendations are able to get their girlfriends back very fast. Some see results in 14 days, others – in a couple of months. I love to hear back from men who have mastered the technique described in “Ways To Influence a Woman”, when they write to tell me how drastically their relationship changed. I’m very happy to hear that they get more attention and love from their girlfriends.
Remember, the no contact rule isn’t about him, it’s about you. You’re not cutting off contact to try to spite him, you’re giving yourself time and space to heal from the breakup. That is the goal. The byproduct is that he will most likely miss you during this time and yearn for you and while he’s doing that, you’re becoming a better and stronger version of yourself!

Ever since the 22nd July until 25th July, I’ve been sending him messages on wanting to salvage this relationship, wanting to change and be more open minded and gradually change to really trust him, his replies are all negatively saying “no, I’ve tried but I can’t.” “It’s better we stay friends” “I can’t see any future ahead of us anymore.” “I can’t see myself being nagged by you everytime”. His heart is not even waivered and he seems really firm with his decision.
My story illustrates the power of working on yourself, of being your best self, of being in a happy, settled place before you enter into a relationship. The reason my husband doesn’t know what shifted is that it wasn’t a tangible thing. It was my vibe and my energy. I changed a lot from the beginning of the summer to the end, I did a lot of important inner work and I genuinely loved myself and was happy with my life. That’s the kind of energy that draws people in. That’s what makes people see you in a different light.

hi, last sunday my boyfriend broke up with me. i dont know if its totally broke up because he only said to me that “lets end this, i have so many problems right now and im so tired.” i asked him if he dont like me anymore. he said “yes, i dont. i just want to be alone now, pls.”. i cant accept the fact that we broke up and he never even explain to me the reason. all his saying is he had so many problems but he dont want to discuss with me thats why i cant understand him why he so stress about. so i gave what he want, i didnt talk to him ever since, its almost 2 days already. but i miss him. and i know he love me too. maybe something really happened that why i gave him what he want. if he really want to be alone. he also never msg me since then. do i just let him alone first. you think he will call me soon? i really want him back. im trying my best not to msg or call him. hopefully soon he will realize that he miss me too. i know its because of stress and anger thats why all of a sudden he said those things to me.
We had a misunderstanding,i told him leave me alone,why yu making me regretin y i chose yu instead of my ex…this was so bad bt it happened was too emotional.the nxt mornin i called him apologising en telling him he was the one i love…..he said its okay bt im now insecure,the words you told me are too mch so i nid sme space to forget ren evaluate our relationship…that was end of november,i kept kalling him,txting,etc until he said he forgave me that was end of dec,surprisingly he txted i dnt c the reason of dating someone who thinks of their ex of wc i sid emotionaly..i jus said ok,take your time love you.that was it,ts nw a week without tokin..i love him so mch i wsh he cud understand i didnt mean t..bt he cnt forgive me.wat can i do.we have been dating for 5months en we were the best.i miss him
I’m in the process of a divorce but have been seeing a guy for about two months, me and my husband are still in the same house while waiting for it to sell and I’m getting verbal abuse constantly, he wound me up saying my new guy had been bragging about me with his friend, I freaked out and had a go at my new guy and he doesn’t even know my husband so it wouldn’t have been true but with all the mental abuse I get I flipped out and questioned my new guy. He got tremendously hurt by this as he’s had a messy divorce in the past and was accused of alot of things that weren’t true, he said he can’t go through all that sort of stuff again and said I need to get away from my husband and clear my head of all the hate I’m feeling at the moment, he said he’s sorry but he doesn’t want us to carry on because of this. I’m heartbroken, we’ve only been together a very short while but for the first time in years I’d found some one who made me feel special, I’m devastated and I don’t know what to do, is there anything I can do to try and get him back or have I totally destroyed everything? I had messaged him a few times but only got negative responses 😢 thanks Nicky x
It is natural to feel scared about going up to someone who has rejected you. You may be worried that he won't talk to you, won't be friendly and perhaps won't answer any questions you may have. All of this is natural and normal. If you really want to approach him to ask him something, consider going with a friend you can rely on and perhaps having them doing some of the talking on your behalf. Choose somewhere neutral and calm, and have a good excuse to leave quickly if things seem too awkward for you, such as "Thanks for the quick chat, I have to get to an appointment now". Most of all, realize that if you don't get the answers or discussion you'd hoped for, that it's not a reflection on you, as you've shown much courage, but is about your ex-boyfriend's method of dealing with the situation in his own way and isn't a slur on you.

Please lord I ask that you allow Bryan and I to get through this difficult time. I pray that the anxiety he deals with lessens so that we may be given a chance to truly work on our relationship. We are blessed to have one another but as he steps back for a break, all I can do is hope that your guidance will give us the strength to heal and to see that our love should be embraced, cherished and honored instead of change into such sadness that will leave a permanent, indelible mark on our hearts.


It’s also giving him the impression that he doesn’t have to put in any work for you.  And, let me fill you in on a little secret: men–well really, people in general — value that which they’ve worked for. Imagine how you would feel if you won an award just because they were pulling names out of a hat versus if you won a trophy for something you worked for. Getting a lottery prize is always nice, but getting a reward for hard work is more satisfying.

He ended things.. This is a guy who comes back to me and has my number for 5 years. And we were so intimate and shared our past. He said didn’t want to play games this time. He came 4 hrs back and forth to spend time with me. Pursues me. Why? What does he want? Why travel in total 8 hrs to come have sex with me? He like a egotistical narcissistic unemotional prick. Please advice.. Btw I never responded to his message. I left things.
Find out each other's love languages. Everyone experiences love differently. Gary Chapman breaks this idea down into the five ways people experience love or the five love languages. If you've never taken the time to figure out each other's love languages, now is the time to do it. You can take quizzes online to figure out what your love language is.[26]

AND REMEMBER THIS: Guys want what they can’t have, it’s human nature. Recognize that it’s not you he wants, it’s the control that he wants because you’ve disarmed his power source (his ego. Deep down he’s an insecure ninny). You show him what you’re made of and introduce him to the girl that he never got a chance to meet: The one that doesn’t have time for the likes of him or ANYONE that treats her in a less-than manner.
If a couple works at being together and trying to understand each other, they may well succeed. I have to admit I feel a little uncertain about this matter. I think if a relationship can be made to work, each person should give it a good try. On the other hand, I don’t think anyone should settle for someone who has to be coaxed into caring for him or her. (c) Fredric Neuman.  Follow Dr. Neuman's blog at fredricneumanmd.com/blog or ask advice at fredricneumanmd.com/blog/ask-dr-neuman-advice-column/
You get the Save The Marriage System,  the bonus audios, a bonus set of rules for fair fighting, and a complete bonus ebook!  If I haven’t managed to convince you by now, it is time for me to give up! If this is not right for you, then please, move on. But, if you are really ready to take action, I can give you the tools you need! Please, take action and Save Your Marriage
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