She said he was then telling her that he broke up with her because he was poor and that he might go back to his village and they won’t be able to call each other. So after they kept on talking the boy had to run away crying but my friend followed him and hugged him to stop crying and he still did not remove his body from her. All she just did was to tell him that even if they were friends she still loves him. And when she wanted to go he knelt down in front of her begging her to forgive and she said she has already forgiven him that’s why she came to talk to him then she left but when she was going she heard him crying and hitting the wall but she refused to go back to meet him.
We also know that there are exceptions. There are relationships that probably should not stay together, such as those with physical violence, cruel and ongoing verbal abuse, extreme anger management issues, or long-term unaddressed substance abuse, for example. If you're in a situation like that, please eek the help of your local crisis management center.
Develop a playful sense of humor. What do girls say they look for most in guys? A sense of humor and a playful attitude These two traits are attractive because they tell other people that we're youthful and not aggressive. So learn a few jokes if you can (friends are always good to try them out on) and keep the ones that work and throw away the ones that don't. Learn to make fun of yourself a little, in a confident way — not a mopey way. And, for goodness sake, be playful, especially when you're around her. Tease her lovingly, or play a small prank on a friend. You'll notice the difference in her.
Me and my ex met at work. We hit it off the first couple weeks were heaven. We had so much in common and never stopped laughing to the point where we would annoy my roommates. After those few weeks we started dating and he would come stay at my house alot because he lived a town away. The first couple months were great. I started to realize he had trust issues and drank way too much. I left him and he asked me back he quit drinking. I took h back and it was even better then the first time but a few months down the road his jealousy started again and I was very mean to him because of it. He had broken up with me told me he didn’t love me anymore, said he wasn’t attracted and he had someone else. I got so hurt I went out with my best friend and got really drunk. I gave a guy my number because I was so mad at my ex I wanted to make him feel the same way. I ended up calling him after I did that because I knew I didn’t want anyone else. I patched things up and we made up. I never told him about me giving my phone number out because I didn’t want to mess it up. I never spoke to the guy after that night, he never even text. Maybe a month swum the road and things were coming together nicely and the guy from the night out text, my boyfriend saw it. I came clean although we were broken up he is still hurt and feels like he was right all along to not trust me. Just when he was starting to trust that I was different. I know I want to change and not take him for granted like I did or put my friends first. I love him so much and I don’t know what to do. He says he doesn’t want to be together anymore but he says things like he doesn’t want to be around my friend anymore and that he’s moving back home with or without me. He says there is no chance but says things like that. What do I do? I know I messed up by trying to get back at him but it never went farther than giving my number.
So, find out what messed up your relationship and work on it. Were you too cranky, moody, jealous, demanding, insane, nagging-all-day, not giving him his space and freedom, disrespectful, got fat, made out with another guy, or you just sucked in bed? Whichever it was – fix it. He needs to see that, after a month or so of breaking up, you are progressing; suddenly you became a different person. But do it for you, not for him. Once he sees how much different you became he'll wish you never broke up in the first place, he'll want to give the whole thing another chance too.
If you want your relationship to get back on track, then you need to be humble and accepting what happened. You can’t get your ex boyfriend back by pointing fingers at him. You have to be humble throughout the whole discussion as this is the best approach to tackle this situation, and it will make your ex comfortable with you which will mend broken hearts.

Ok so me and my now ex boyfriend broke up a month ago and It was really hard on me. He wanted to experience his senior year single. Well I really don’t know what I did wrong, maybe I was boring to him. But he said we can be best friend likes before we started dating well he doesn’t have those feelings like he used to so he was being mean and I really want it back to the way before. After we broke up I had a friend message him ( that he didn’t know) and she would tell me stuff that he would say. I felt bad about it and we got into a fight and told him about it and now he doesn’t even wanna be friends even tho I said sorry and told him I would never do it again I felt so awful. I’m guessing I’m gonna just leave him alone for a while. I feel like I’m going backwards and not getting him back ever.. I really need help


My ex loved me like crazy and i didnt quite value it. I broke up with him 6 months back. And then i realized i loved him, so i became clingy and irritating and moody, things got worse and it was the first time that he told me that he didnt want to get back. We were best friends from 3 years, and we dated for 8 months. Now he has come back, he just wants to be friends, though he is not dating anyone. I am so in love with him!! He says he loves me when he is drunk but something else when he is sober. He is giving me so many mixed signals that it hurts. I have no idea what to do.
Omg I’ve been doing everything the wrong way. I moved out of m bf’s after we got in big argument cause I got home from work late. When I was actually at my therapist office asking for advice how to communicate better with my ex. Long story short, he got mad cause I deleted text messages that day. Ever since moving out he has “trust issue” so it’s been up and down. This is the longest we’ve gone without communicating or hanging out. I feel like he feels he has me so secure. I also have the messages he got so mad that i deleted i tried to show them to him but he won’t see them, I think he knows he over reacted and doesn’t want to see he was wrong. Sometimes i feel like just sending him the messages.. should i?
By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.
He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?
If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.

A week ago my boyfriend of 7 years told me that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. That he still cared and loved me but that he wasn’t happy and the spark was gone. He was my whole world, this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. The problem is that we have to still share an apartment together for another month until I can get my own. I have been trying to stay busy and thinking positive thoughts. But it’s hard when you still have to see him.
So I went back to doing what I was doing. I focused on myself, I had fun, I spent time with friends, I did a lot of writing, I traveled, I discovered so many things about myself. I felt happier and better than ever before, all the pieces in my life were finally clicking … and then at the very end of the summer, he reached out to me and after hours of talking, he asked me out. Our first date was seven hours long and we got married a year to the day later!
Please help bring back the relationship that we once had. I miss the things that we used to do. I feel that the enemy is always taking away things from me especially when things are going good for me. I am so tired of crying and being depressed because of the enemy interfering with my happiness. Please Jesus bring back the man that i want to share my life with and the happiness we once shared. Don’t let the enemy keep winning and help me to keep my faith in you strong so that the enemy will not take away our happiness

I was with my ex gf for about a year and no lie, she is the only girl i have ever really felt happy with. Well anyways, i feel that its my fault because i decided to take a brake with the relationship. Now she has a boyfriend who she has been with for 2-3 years. She and I still talk and hang out every now and then (her boyfriend doesnt know she hangs out with me nor does he know who i am), but it feels wrong to me. I know she has a boyfriend so i respect her and keep my hands to myself. She tells me things like “even thoughi have a boyfriend, you were still the best boyfriend i ever had”, or “sometimes i wish you never broke up with me”. I am currently going to college and she had just graduated high school (we are both 18). Her boyfriend doesnt go to school and does not have a job, so i asked her why she has a boyfriend that isn’t doing anything with his life and she said, “because i love him”, that left me speechless. I know he doesnt deserve her because he always argues and cusses at her, doesnt trust her (what is a relationship without trust?), he keeps her on check (where are you at? Who are you with? What are to doing?). I have never cussed at her, yes we argued sometimes but got over them easily. I listen to what she has to say and I’m there for her when she needs it. It hurts everytime she talks about him and even when she talks to him on the phone in front of me (he doesnt know that i am with her) and tells him “i love you” right before they hang up. I miss her so much and wish that she and I can continue our relationship. I can’t be “just friends”because I’ve known her as my lover and nothing less. I really dont know what to do, but what i don’t want is to have to move on. Pleeeaaassse help me out.


Okay so my boyfriend broke up with me because I was transferring to another college while he was being forced to go back to Chicago. When we talked, he told me he was staying a bit longer but he still chooses to go to Chicago, despite that he didn’t really want to break up with me. How do I know if he really wants me back? I still love him, but I don’t want to chase him away.
Lord I come to you with worry on my heart. I broke my boyfriend’s heart, and my have lost him forever. I just ask that you give him the gift of forgiveness. I ask that you open his heart and allow him to see that our relationship is worth saving. I ask that you be a force in our relationship and help us to fight through this terrible time and fix our relationship one day at a time. I don’t know where else to turn and I know that you work miracles. I am asking for a miracle at this point. Things look really bad right now but I know that all I need is faith the size of the mustard seed. I pray that you help me and my boyfriend get through this and I pray that my family stays together, I ask this in your name.
Holy spirt speak to Shirmal and get him on the right path away from temptation & urge of drak forces. Right now he is in your domain in Rome… Please I seek your blessing and guidense to retreat our relationship and love & care for one another. Keep us together thru thick & thin times. Let us not get distracted or deviate away from each other’s company..
My boyfriend of seven months broke up with me two days ago. We were really good together, we had a great complicity, friendship, we were always there for each other and like best friends. What went wrong is that I have important anxiety issues and i’ve let them get the best of me and take over our relationship. I have a lot of fears, of abandonment and such. We were constantly fighting because of this, and I believe he did his best to be patient and there for me. My anxieties were mostly caused by the fact that it took him a long time to be ready for a relationship in the beggining, plus he wasnt totally over his ex. He eventually got there but I never completely calmed down about this, until it was already too late.
Please lord I ask that you allow Bryan and I to get through this difficult time. I pray that the anxiety he deals with lessens so that we may be given a chance to truly work on our relationship. We are blessed to have one another but as he steps back for a break, all I can do is hope that your guidance will give us the strength to heal and to see that our love should be embraced, cherished and honored instead of change into such sadness that will leave a permanent, indelible mark on our hearts.
Ever get a whiff of your husband's cologne, or signature tomato sauce and feel warm and fuzzy? Savor that moment and use it, says Spencer. "Scent is the one sense tied most closely to our emotional memories, so if his cologne, or salty after-gym smell still has positive connotations to you, that's good news." Spencer says it's almost as if your nose is telling you that, deep down, your brain still puts him in the 'he's a good one' category. "It's worth looking for whether this feels true in your day to day life as well."
Thanks for these tips, Jason. All of the other material I’ve read online had advice that I didn’t really jive with. “Don’t talk to him for a month or for 50 years!” Obviously every person and relationships is different so following a specific formula isn’t practical. Absence can make the heart grow fonder…or just further convince that person that there’s no point in going back. Your article stated pretty much what I believed I should try to do after my recent break up with my long term casual bf/sex buddy. Thank you.
My ex and I were dating for 4 months. It wasn’t like any other relationship I have ever had! We were always having fun. He was a police officer that worked really long hours and on the night shift, I am an office manager who keeps daytime hours. As time progressed it grew harder to see one another but we still made time for one another. We never argued or fought really. Seriously everything went so smoothly, he was caring, and kind, and super sweet, and always went out of his way to show me that. Well when we first met, he told me he was in the process of buying a house, it was going to be about an hour away, well this made me uneasy but he was always reassuring me that we could make things work. Well one sunday afternoon before he was going to work i sent him a text to see what we were doing the next day, well his response was i don’t know i have yo close on my house tomorrow. Ummmmm wait a minute what house? His response was you knew I was buying a house. So i was loke leaving him alone at that point a few hours later, mind you he was at work, i text him i don’t think this is going to work you are nocturnal i am not we both work hard and its already difficult to see eachother and you live 15 mins away. anyways he told me he needed time to dedicate the conversation to. I said olay and goodnight and went to bed. I spent the next day pampering myself preparing for the worse, he texts me and acts like nothing had happened, i tell him we need to have a conversation, he said he needed time to sort things out, welll i pressured him and he agreed staying together would just be delaying the inevitable i cried he puked, i realized i had been overreacting and apologized and well he hasnt accepted my apology. I went on vacation a few days later and he watched my animals while i was gone, when i was away we kept minimal contact, relatively amicable, but when i got home i found a very expensive goft i had bought him months prior for his new house in the bottom of my laundry basket at this point i flipped out called him every name in the book and told him to get his coward ass to my house to drop off my keys. A day and a half later he showed up gave me my keys we say 3 or 4 words. I shut the door and lock itm i immediately apologize for my behavior but i told him i didn’t want him to see me upset. Now we don’t even speak. I am so hurt and distraught. I know we were together a short time, but i have been in 2 very long term relationships and i can tell you i have never felt the way i felt about him about any other person in my life. I don’t know what to do. I am so sorry, I apologized a milliom ways and he just doesn’t seem to care anymore. And he hasn’t tried once to contact me on his own in over 2.5 weeks.

My girlfriend told me she did not love me the same way she used to. That I was more of a best friend type of love… She has new friends that go out alot and she also started to drink socially.. Im not sure this is a cry for independence or because her parents do not a good relationship . So i wondered if she imprinted her dads action on to me as I would treat her as he treats her and her mom….. I tried telling her I could do things differently and so on but she starts med school soon and I am not sure if she wants to be independent or what… I have not texted her and deleted my own facebook to avoid contact. She didnt cheat, we didnt end on a argument. I was the one who said okay goodbye. And thats the last time I talked to her ( 2 weeks ago). Any ideas on what i should do?

Hi my boyfriend always use to talk with for a couple of days later he will fight and we wont be in contact for 3-6 months after thathe will msg me and he will b normal as before and again he will fight and wont b in contact for 3-6 months this is go on repeating from 3 years i cant understand whether he loves me or hates me but i love him so much just suggest me how to make him mine completely
WOW I don’t “KNOW” you…But I really like you! ?You are HILARIOUS and REAL and it’s clear that you’ve truly been “there” before by the things that you say. It’s like your taking these feelings and thoughts straight from MY mind and typing them out. I LOVE what you stand for (and what you don’t stand for). Well my question is in the last paragraph from what’s above, when you say something like : after getting your ex back he will eventually SHOW you (if we took your advice about showing we’re not putting up with the bs) that the break-up was a good thing.- Are you saying you feel they’ll still be the same way they were BEFORE the breakup (a f*cktard?) or they will possibly have changed for the better due to us setting those “what’s not acceptable” boundaries? And do you always feel that they would ONLY want you back due to a wanting to be in control thing not ever because they actually love you? Just wondering
I don’t think anyone should worry so much about getting him or her back. Sometimes relationships just don’t work and that’s okay. Sure, it hurts like hell, but that doesn’t matter as much. Don’t stay in relationships. And for godsake if he dumps you, then just get on with life. You shouldn’t be begging and pleading to get back together with someone who treated you poorly. Yes, you probably made mistakes but the point should be that so did he. You’re not the only one at fault here. Try to remember that, when you want to get back together with him, just think do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? Not only that but if one night can make up his mind, then do you really want him? There are better guys out there that actually care about more than sex. You can do so much better. Take time to heal yourself and worry about fixing yourself for you.
Let him see it, but don't say it. Tell him you had a great time, and that you could meet up some time to hang out… he will feel like his leg was chopped of for not kissing, but he will know that you want more, that there might be a new, bright future for the two of you. All night he'll be flipping around in bed, thinking about how beautiful you are and how much he wants to get back with you. I'm not saying you should be ice-cold when you meet up, on the contrary, be cold, but a bit mysterious, make him wonder.
I’m definitely NOT saying you should have been looking to have a kid with her recently – not at all. I’m just saying that the relationship should have been very gradually progressing into more and more serious territory. Women need to notice this kind of progress because it shows them that eventually the relationship could lead to her delivering what nature intended – kids.
When I started dating my boyfriend we both fell hard and fast, I quickly learned that he was very insecure and could not be alone. He was drinking a lot and one day he would be the best person I could ever ask for and the next he would say horrible things to tear away at my self esteem. I started looking for job opportunities to move close to him, when that finally worked out I learned that he had been seeing someone else behind my back. I have tried to move on and date others but each time they want to get close I just couldn’t, I would feel as though I am cheating and then realize that I really don’t want someone else in my life, if he finds out that someone has an interest in me he makes accusations of me moving on and not caring about him. He will text me during the day when I know that the other guy is at work but as soon as it is the end of the work day he will no longer reply. It’s like he wants to live his life with someone else but also make certain that I am still there and committed to him. He will make accusations that he knows I’m seeing someone else or that I’m sleeping around when I’m not, I don’t know if that’s him just trying to feel good about the choices he has made to do just that. I can’t let go of the many words of encouragement that he has given me even with all of the hurtful ones he has made. It’s so hard to just quit loving someone that I have loved more than anyone. I’m reaching out trying to make friends in my new home but I can’t stop thinking about him all day every day. I wish I knew how to get him to feel what he felt when we first met, to see how I have always been there and committed to him. Whenever he needs help I am always there and I feel if I say no then he would have no need to stay connected with me and I just don’t want to lose him.
I tried everything imaginable to recover my relationship with my ex. He has a substance problem which I was unaware of for a long time. When I finally discovered it I was naive enough to think his promises of trying to quit would work. The worst part was his interfering guy “friends” who did not want me to break up the party. He is middle aged and so am I. I tried to be tolerant as we had many great times and we compatible in many ways. I do believe this man loved me and I thought we might get married (neither of us had ever been married).
"While some marriages end because both spouses want out, most troubled marriages have a spouse who wants to save the marriage," says Joe Beam, PhD, the founder and chair of Marriage Helper, adding that when there's someone still fighting for the marriage, there's hope that love can be renewed. "If you have a personal belief and value system that motivates you to finish what you start — especially if you feel that marriage is a life-long commitment—that's a sign things can look up."
I fell in love a few months ago, this man i believe to be my soul mate. Im 43 years old never married because I never thought i had met the right man until he came along. I thought he felt the same, often he would look at me and say “i cant believe you are here with me”. I met his family a couple weeks ago and then he went away with a friend for two weeks. He came back and told me he couldnt be with me. He said it was partly due to my job, that he would worry about me too much and that i didnt look after myself health wise. This being i didnt eat properly, im a shift worker its not always possible to eat healthy. Two weeks ago he was telling me he missed me and talked about travelling together, he was always worried i would get bored with him. Now he has left me because of things that may never happen. What can i do. This man has my hart . How can a man go from so caring loving, telling you hes so thankful to have you in his life to , we wont work out.
Well we broke up just 8 days ago.. actually he broke up with me anyway when i ask him to reason he said “I think it’s not gonna work. I always leave you alone and I know you have suffer about so I don’t wanna make you upset anymore” (for me it’s a stupid reason) normally he is an introverted person who doesn’t like to share his past and whatever happens he keeps smile that’s why I wanna be with him all the time. He got jealous when I changed my profile picture (I was with my friend) so he kept asking me that who is that person after we broke up. He also told me that “I can’t imagine my life without you in it” so he made me confused. I’m still inlove with him and I feel that he is still love me but Idk what should I do? T.T
I have one for you guys! I started dating this girl that in my mind is the perfect one! I mean I couldnt possibly build a better woman. Well after 4 years of dating we broke up because she was tired of my habbits.!? Well we have been broken up now for three years and she still calls and texts every day. When I go to her house for the night she sleeps in her bed alone. She helps me in any way I need. (Bails me outta jail, pays my phone bill, buys me sweet gifts, ect.)
This is a great article. Thank you. It made me feel a lot better. I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago and I started seeing someone else right away. Maybe that was a bad idea, because he really was just a “bandaid” and it ended up being an explosive disaster pretty quickly. After that I’ve been feeling incredibly depressed and desperately missing my ex. He was not just my ex but he was also my best friend. However, after reading the “checklist” here, it has helped remind me of the reasons why it didn’t work out between us. We actually broke up dozens of times over the 2 years of our relationship. It was for a reason. He told me we are not right for each other romantically, and I know he is probably right, as much as it hurts me to admit it. I could never picture myself marrying him or having a family with him. But I miss him so much and I want to be friends, but he says we can’t because we’ll just end up getting back together. I know that’s probably true too because we’re attracted to each other naturally. I just can’t understand why we can’t be in each other’s lives at all. I can’t deal with that.
If you don’t normally do the cleaning, dust a room or two. (Here’s a hint for you guys: Don’t say, “I thought I would help you out.” Women tend to think of housework as a shared responsibility since you live there, too. If you lived there alone, you would clean the place. “Helping” her means you think it’s her job. You may have a clear delineation of roles in your family where she does the cleaning, but it’s better if you have a good reason she will appreciate other than “helping.”)

While it is important to not pursue your ex for a month or so, it's okay to be responsive if he or she pursues you. In other words, if you get a call, don't hang up on your ex or refuse to talk. It is not necessary to try to play mind games or play hard to get, and doing so would have the potential to push him or her further away, which is the opposite of your goal at this point.[6]
I’m confused… I was with my ex for 3 years n 6mthns n he cheated on me but when he was with her and he went to work he would call me n tell me he miss me n love me n want to b back with me. He’ll say things like I choose the wrng girl she’s controlling. Well 5 months go by without talkin n we was back together having sex , going out, having with each others family, but she jus kept texting him n calling him then she made up a lie saying she was pregnant by him n she really wasn’t but I feel like he still lover her because he reply back to her texts n calls her when I’m not around. Yesterday we out and he dropped me off at home and supposedly went home or to his dad’s but I called his house his roommate sayd he didn’t come home last night n I called his dad house n they said he didn’t come over, so I started to get worried n I called his cell phone n it keeps going to voicemail, but my mind is telling me he’s with her… I still love him but I’m tired of the heart ache n him lying to me every time he opens his mouth, we was talkin bout getting married next year. I need Advice pls help!!
Last night we had sex and he kissed me like he meant it. He kissed me bye etc. today when I talked to him he said to give him time (he’s out of town anyways until Wednesday with family) but he’s worried everything is going to go back to the way it was. I’ve worked on myself and I know now what my problem was – my ego! Then he told me on the phone to not call/text him. If he wants to talk he will call me (I can’t do it. It’s hard) and told me not to tell him everything to let him wonder. I’m trying to be open and honest with him.
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”
He needs to desire you, a lot. Be sexy and provocative, but don't sleep together the first time you meet to “catch up” and see whether he also wants to get back together or not. Let him think about you. Drop a hook, and make him feel horrible when he sees how much you've improved, how well you are doing, how sexy you look and how your life is taking another direction. Don't try to fake it. He knows you and he'll know whether you're full of crap or not.
Is that really the problem? Often, a problem exists because there is a more fundamental issue that has not been addressed. For instance, a husband may load the dishwasher or clean the living room differently than the wife does. She complains that he does not do the work right. Is the problem really about the best ways to do chores? Or is there a more fundamental issue, such as she believes he doesn’t recognize and validate her thoughts and feelings? Now you may be thinking, and especially if you’re a guy, “How in the world did you make that connection?” Well, I haven’t a clue how the professionals do it, but serious research and scholarly papers talk about this kind of thing all the time. Problems are often rooted in other, hidden problems. (Using medical terms, your problem may be a symptom of an underlying cause.)
You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule. 

To begin the process, I recommend that you have what I call the Perfection Conversation with her. Essentially, you need to acknowledge to her that you are not perfect (in terms of how you’ve been behaving and treating her), but for the sake of your love, you are willing to continually make a serious effort to become a better man for her. In the same conversation, you also need to get her to acknowledge and realize that she is not perfect either.
For example:- People make EX-bf/gf their best friend. When their past relationship didn't work. Suppose, Your boyfriend has a problem of you talking to your EX even on an occasional basis. And comes up with a solution and tells you "do not talk to him". Then you have to simple respect your partner and stop talking to your EX even if he is your friend now.
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