I am that ex girlfriend who broke up with a controlling man. He started stalking and harrassing me, and would harrass any guy I dated.I told him never to speak to me again, but he still tried to get me back, was watching and following me in person and on line ,so I called the police and filed a report, and later filed a no contact order. Turns out he had a warrant in CA for stalking another lady.I have to say to any guy…be careful of overstepping boundaries. You may push her limits till she is afraid of you or hates the very thought of you.If you are a good man, she will miss you and call you.
You are hilarious!! I am laughing so loudly whilst reading your articles….I’m scaring my dogs! I came across your website while I was googling and trying to understand why my now ex-fiance ‘assbag’ of 4 years breaks up with me (2nd time in 3 months), demands no contact then calls me, bawls during the conversation then tells me “he says he needs space” AGAIN…. he did this 3 months ago also…so now I’m thinking he’s emotionally inept and I’m left feel totally confused. But I am finding your articles are helping me alot….so thank you!!!!
Seeing that your ex-girlfriend is moving on by getting into a relationship with another guy can be extremely disheartening, and you may think that all hope is lost. That’s not necessarily the case. Rebound relationships are prevalent when one person doesn’t want to work on the issues that came up during their breakup, and rebound relationships simply don’t last. By diving into a new relationship, your ex is trying to avoid dealing with her feelings for you. That new relationship simply won’t measure up.
Here’s my problem, I was begging, pleading, and trying to look pity for my ex-girlfriend just to make her stay. We had sex then goodbye. Then i saw your videos about No Contact Rules. Following your advice about no contact rules was hard as hell. My target is FULL 30 DAYS no contact but in my two weeks of battle. Suddenly she texted me, i try to ignore her, then she call me using other number so we talked since its likely rude to ignore her at all. She told me she wasn’t happy in her new bf. She felt sorry for me. She’s asking me if there was any chance to rebuild our relationship?Is she still welcome to my life? I told her i am awesome now, i currently dating to someone else the she get madly jealous. She doesn’t want me to date others.She really want to see me but ill be the one who refuse to see her. I told her i will only see you when you come back to me. She wanted me to stick around but u said to your videos not to get in friendzone.
I left my cheating ex and gave him a chance, we got serious and introduced each other to our families and parents. The 1st year of the relationship was amazing, he would bring roses when he visited, take me for romantic dinners, send romantic texts and call me and speak for hours. As time passed things started getting different…feeling different…He never made me feel special like before and I was afraid I was losing him, which in a way made me angry and I started arguments and fights with him all the time..In the past 3 and a half years we’ve broken up every year before christmas and new year..he left…after 6months he would come back…Last year when he came back,we promised each other that we would never let our relationship go through that ever again…few months down the line…I could feel that we were taking each other for granted again…He never use to call me, he was too tired or too busy to text me..He always had excuses when it came to weekends for us to spend time together…It made me feel unimportant and as if he had met someone else…though I knew deep down he was never one to cheat, assuming,crazy thoughts and anger caused us to fight constantly,but still we loved each other very much…September last year he was writing exams and told me that he will not have anytime for me, It hurt but i understood because I knew it was important to him..Until I found pictures of him on social networks at clubs with his friends…which tore me to pieces..He lied!! Were his friends,drinking and clubbing more important to him then me? I am 22 years old and since I met him I gave up all my friends and clubbing for him,because he didnt like that…I would pine and crave to be with him and see him or even hear his voice…but all I would get from him was excuses.. Earlier Last year he spoke to me about getting engaged and starting a life together and of how much he loves me….November last year he called it quits when he found out that I had one of his male friends in whatsapp(innocently),I would never cheat on him,leave alone that…with his friend…Since then Ive tried everything possible to make things right, met with his parents,sent texts,tried calling, even drove out to a place nearby to where he lives and texted him to say Im waiting to talk to him…he ignored me every single time…xmas passed,so did new year…still nothing…then I realised I was hurting myself more by trying and getting rejected all the time, even after finding out he had a profile on a dating network, I still forgave and tried…I stopped contacting him for 2weeks,…a week back I received 2 missed calls from him, I regreted that I missed his call but I did not try and call back, I msg’d him a day after and he responded…that gave me a little hope that there was still something between us…After that I havent contacted him until lastnight when I couldnt stop thinking about him and decided to send him an I miss you msg…a beeeeeg mistake!!! I wasnt very happy with his reply and in an emotional state I replied with a nasty msg…I think I just made things worse… Im at that very hurt and confused stage right now… where when I think about all the things he has done to hurt me it makes me feel as If I dont want to be with him,but deep down inside I know how much I love him and that I can forgive him for anything because the love is enough, He still keeps in contact with my family and my mum, not to sure if thats a good thing… I will try your tips and hope it works:-) Ive now realised that he knows exactly how I feel about him and that I want a long lasting relationship with him, but Ive tried and Ive done my part…I cant be rejected every single day when I try to contact him…HIS NOT A NEED IN MY LIFE….BUT I DO WANT HIM TO BE IN MY LIFE…I love him alot, but you cant force someone to be with you if they dont want to…the time apart(breaking off contact) may bring him back or may help me get over him….If its meant to be it will be….
For example, a boy comes to you in a bar and offers you to buy a drink. What will be your response? Most probably you would not value his friendship that much because you didn’t work for it. You may though of saying ‘YES’ to him but very next moment after buying drink you wouldn’t be giving any attention to him. Why? This is because you didn’t work for it.
My ex and I broke up 3 months ago the relationship was about 6 months. I have a child who is 5 who he was very involved with. He broke up with me and he ended up coming back the same day apologizing. He left because he said he was ready for something so serious. We were great for the next month or so more in love then ever. Then he stopped coming around as much. Would see my child but leave after her bedtime. The sex stopped. Soon he started being short with me and I finally called him out on it. He said he just couldn’t do this that I didn’t do anything wrong. That it was him he just didnt know what was wrong with him but he wasn’t happy. What I think it was is that we got lazy and got into a routine. We started staying home more. And we texted everyday almost all day. Which I think was a big downer on our relationship. Me and him have texted back and forth sometimes mainly I contact him. But he will say I don’t talk to him enough or something. His not dating anyone. He knows I miss him but he won’t see me in person. So I was wondering if I cut off all contact for a few weeks and then maybe see if he will have lunch? I know once he sees me he will realize. I just can’t get him too.
You get the Save The Marriage System, the bonus audios, a bonus set of rules for fair fighting, and a complete bonus ebook! If I haven’t managed to convince you by now, it is time for me to give up! If this is not right for you, then please, move on. But, if you are really ready to take action, I can give you the tools you need! Please, take action and Save Your Marriage
Discuss solutions. This step may be the hardest part, coming up with solutions you both can live with. That means agreeing on what you think the main problems are in the marriage and coming up with ways you can both work to make it better. Basically, you need to compromise. Blaming each other isn't going to help, as you've both contributed to the situation you're in.
I need advice. We met on match.com and only dated about 3 weeks but had a great connection from the very beginning. Plus we share a lot in common (we agree about a lot, graduated high school same year, kids are same age). But he broke it off because 1) we moved too fast (didn’t have sex but went further than we intended by date 2) and 2) we’re in different places in our lives – I’m going through a divorce and he’s been divorced for years. I’m devastated. We ended things amicably last week (I didn’t fight it, though I wanted to) and we haven’t been in contact. But he’s been back on match.com already. My question is, what are our chances for trying again in the future? Did moving too fast derail us completely?
Listen, sure, finding some new dude may be okay for you as a bandade, but it won't help you get your ex-boyfriend back. You should make him jealous in a smarter way. Like, he should see that there are guys mingling around you, but don't let him see that you've actually found someone. Don't post stupid, drunken-party pictures on Facebook of you making out with some random dude.
After a healthy and happy relationship for 10 months, he told me his ex wife wants to get back with him. I asked where does this leave me within this equation, he wouldn’t respond, So I asked him does he love me, he said no he does not love me and had never made empty promises nor used the word love! I broke it off and now it’s been 7 weeks without contact! I was hoping he would realise my absence and hold onto the good memories we had together. Will he contact me as I am following the no contact rule as you advise
I was really broken up since this is my first relationship(I’m not the most popular girl) and I just kept on texting him and trying to see him to patch things up, one time we were talking just about other things and it seemed to be ok, but just today I tried to see him after we got into another argument to try to hopefully patch things up but he just got pissed and called me a staker(we live in the same town and his house is only a few min away)
Always keep in mind, an attractive women to a man is someone who knows how to balance being independent and shows his softer vulnerable so his boyfriend able to ‘protect’ her. Even if you don’t want to be protected by anyone then still you have to show some vulnerability to awaken your man’s natural protection ability. A man who protects you is a man who is deeply connected with you in a relationship.
You can try and prove to your girlfriend how much you love her, but it will not lead you to the desired result. Such behavior will only widen the gap between you. A woman simply can’t return your feelings in such a situation, this is very subconscious for them. Their DNA is programmed differently than that of men, and women can have feelings for completely different things than men.
Develop a playful sense of humor. What do girls say they look for most in guys? A sense of humor and a playful attitude These two traits are attractive because they tell other people that we're youthful and not aggressive. So learn a few jokes if you can (friends are always good to try them out on) and keep the ones that work and throw away the ones that don't. Learn to make fun of yourself a little, in a confident way — not a mopey way. And, for goodness sake, be playful, especially when you're around her. Tease her lovingly, or play a small prank on a friend. You'll notice the difference in her.
I still obsess (2 months) about the relationship. I miss being a part of a family, I miss having dinner with him, the sex was mindblowing, sleeping next to him, the lazy weekends and the busy doing things together weekends, waiting for him to come home from work, I miss “our” home, his daughters, his family, Sunday afternoon cookouts at his moms…. I still have the most horrible days when I believe it was all my fault and I was just not good enough and will never be good enough for anyone. I let him do that to me. And yes, I sometimes want that back, him back… Yet, somehow I know that, eventually I will be ok, better than ever. Wish it would get here faster!
I believe it was James Carville, Bill Clinton's political adviser, who said, "If you say three things, you've said nothing at all." Well, I've said more than three things here, but then, I'm not giving a political speech. And you are not going to find the answer to saving your marriage in a single idea. What you have in front of you, though, are the first steps in getting to a happy marriage.
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Focus on patterns. Rather than blaming each other, consider how patterns from each of you has led to problems. For instance, maybe you consistently forget to call home when you're going to be late, and your partner then gets upset when you don't show up. Consequently, you punish him or her the next time by not calling home, which is a cyclical pattern. When you bring it up, focus on how to solve the problem, such as "I will try to be better about calling home, if maybe you can forgive me the few times that I forget. Or maybe you can send me a text near the end of the day, so I will be more aware of what time it is."
Hey I need help! So me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago. I tried to get her back at first but stopped after I saw it wasn’t working. I just started the no contact phase and am giving her time it’s been 3 days no contact. I’m fine with the no contact but here’s the tricky part, shes getting surgery Tuesday(4 days from now) and is really nervous. When we were together I was a jerk and didn’t make a big deal about it and it hurt her. So now what Idk is should I text her the night before and say something about it like goodluck don’t be nervo use it’ll be okay, just good luck or nothing at all? Help please!!
Getting dumped sucks and when your boyfriend decides he doesn’t want you anymore it just tears you apart from the inside out. I feel for you but don’t worry because we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things. Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex boyfriend gave you for why he chose to break up is really why he decided to let you go. This may sound a bit mean, but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable.
Relationship experts don’t always talk about how to keep your girlfriend happy after she has returned. When you read this book you will learn that it’s not that difficult to get your girlfriend back, it is much more difficult to deal with her mood swings and whims. How do you entice sexual desire in her every day? How do you get the girlfriend of your dreams? How do you anticipate her lies? None of this is easy and most “experts” don’t include such techniques into their books.
Breakup is hard as it is, especially if you are still obsessing over your ex and wondering all the time whether or not they miss you. On top of that, if your ex starts dating someone else, it’s almost feels like someone punched you really hard in your stomach (while wearing a wolverine claw). Nothing can prepare you for this feeling. But it happens. And no, it’s nothing to worry about.
Unfortunately, partners often go through mutual misunderstandings, because no one teaches us how to act in a relationship. What we see on TV and in movies, what we are told by many friends, about the behavior of men and women is most often very far from reality. So if you are blaming yourself, I am telling you to stop! It is possible that not everything in the demise of your relationship is your fault! If you would have known exactly what to do to keep your couple in a happy state, I’m sure you would have done everything that depended on you. Most likely you just didn’t have the right information. But everything can still be fixed...
A while back I was dating someone and it always seemed that we would fight over the silliest things. Now, I like to think that I am generally a calm person but for whatever reason my girlfriend and I would always fight. So, I went to the most trusted of friends for advice, my dad. He explained to me that a relationship is like a bank account. Every time you have a good experience or something of that nature you are putting money into the account. However, every time you have an argument or a fight you are taking money out of the account. The key thing here is to have more green deposits than red withdrawals in your relationship bank account.
For that reason you should look to keep your texts fun, light and positive. Leave the heavy stuff (mentions of the breakup and getting back together) for later on. You shouldn’t be mentioning those things in your texts because BEFORE those topics can be mentioned, you first need time to change how she feels about you. Only once her feelings about you are more positive, will you then be able to see good results from discussing the breakup and the potential of getting back together. Why?
Think about why you want him back. Breakups are never easy, even when the relationship was not a good fit. For this reason, it's crucial to think about your motives for wanting to get your boyfriend back. If you want to get back together because you are sad or lonely or don't like being single, you should probably reconsider. Just because you miss your ex does not mean you should be with him. These feelings will go away eventually, although it may take some time. If you want to get back together because you genuinely care for your ex and you can see yourself having a future with him, then go ahead and try to get him back!
Relationships cannot survive on love. Trust is the foundation upon which all relationships are built. If you break trust with your partner, the relationship suffers. In order to rebuild trust you have to repair the hurt you inflicted on your mate. In my work with couples, I guide them through a 5 step process to repair hurt. For easy remembering the steps begin with the letter A.
My situation is a little different than most, we’ve been together for 5 years and he’s currently in the military now, he just ended things, with multiple reasoning but the last one was him saying he didn’t have time for a girlfriend nor did he want one. It’s been a week since we broke up and also a week of NC, I haven’t reached out, but is this going to work, is he really going to miss me even with us being so far away and his schedule being so hectic?? Please someone give me some advice…
Hi, my ex broke up with me a while ago. We went full no contact for about 8 weeks and then he finally texted me to catch up. We talked for about a month, hooked up a couple times, and he was treating/talking to me as if we were a couple. I want to get back together. So I’ve told him I still have feelings for him and eventually want to get back together. I know he still has feelings for me but he says he doesn’t know what he wants (We’re also doing long distance so this is a big reason of why he doesn’t know). I told him a week ago I can’t be just friends anymore so I went into no contact again. Was this the right move? I want him to realize he does want to get back together and be more that friends. Should I have just stayed friends and waited? Or was it smart to go no contact again!!
Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them.
I’d greatly appreciate feedback on my break up, especially from guys. I had been dating a guy for 6 weeks. Although he was following up and seeing me every weekend since our first date, he never mentioned exclusivity or “the talk” about “us.” So on date 7, he invited me over for dinner and made his move. I told him I was not ready as it is sonerhung you can’t take back and it would change our dynamic. The truth is I was ready, but needed to know where I stood with him as it is not something I am casual about. We ended up in his bed, but I stopped it short of the deed. He seemed ok with that and asked me to spend the night, but I could not because my elderly and judgmental mother was in town visiting. That’s when our dynamic changed and it seemed to me to go off the rails. Very awkward. We had two pre-scheduled dates afterward that were in teasingly awkward. Then he called me. He asked me what I wanted and I told him I want something exclusive and meaningful. I explained that I am used to knowing I am on the same page with a man first and that I declined because was afraid that I would be serious afterward, but he would be casual which would be hurtful. Then he told me that whereas he had been “captivated” (his word) before, now it is just “awkward” (his word) and he does not think he can go back and pick up where we left off. He asked if I can go back and pick up where we left off and I said yes, I can. He then said he would think about it while he’s out of town over the next few days and let me know if he changes his mind. I found that insulting, but just said ok and goodbye. I realize he could have taken it as a rejection, but I feel like with my past significant relationships this would have been a big nothing burger, and certainly not anything that could not be recovered from. After all, things went far enough between us for there to be no reasonable doubt that I desire him. So, what do you think? Is his behavior reasonable or am I right that the punishment does not fit the crime? Any feedback and advice would be greatly appreciated!
Your story is very similar to mine. He was dating another girl but i didnt know it. He came back to me several times but didnt want to work things out so i blocked him from social media. that was three months ago. He has been dating that girl for several months even when when he was trying to convince me that he still loved me and missed me but because of my shortcomings he couldnt be with me. Now they are a couple and he hasnt tried to reach out. i changed my number though.
AND REMEMBER THIS: Guys want what they can’t have, it’s human nature. Recognize that it’s not you he wants, it’s the control that he wants because you’ve disarmed his power source (his ego. Deep down he’s an insecure ninny). You show him what you’re made of and introduce him to the girl that he never got a chance to meet: The one that doesn’t have time for the likes of him or ANYONE that treats her in a less-than manner.
After researching over the internet, I found Michael’s Youtube videos. He talks about important aspects of a healthy relationship that I feel my relationship was missing. The thing that I like most about Michael’s videos was he was a relationship coach who has hundred of likes in his Youtube videos. I knew it is easy to get likes on your Youtube video but the interaction and feedback he was getting from his audience seems real dude to me.
Me and my girl been dating for almost 18 months. And I became depending and demanding which leads to posessive attitude. Starts acting jealous and shit. The last months before we broke up we had a huge fight. We yelled to each other, and she hits and kicks me like crazy and I lose my temper back then. I slap her cheek once (not in purpose) and I cried over her because I felt so wronged for doing that. Things seems to go well, but all of a sudden she blow up some litlle mess into a reason for broke me up. She oftenhy hide something for me. Even lied to me. But I don’t know, my heart still beats for her. I even saw still her posting pics on our date. Been 6 months since we broke up and she never respond to my text and calls. I tried to hold it, but last week we talked through text. And I begged her to come back. Remind her things we used to do. But the answer is “no, I can’t be with you anymore” “don’t bother me!” “Go find another girl, or either I will” . She’s an introvert. I always honest to her. Never mess with any other girl. And I’m the one who took her virginity. I feel responsible for that. I don’t want another man used her! Need to get her back. But none of no talking method works. I feel guilty when I text and begged her after months I gave her own space to cool down. :( I really love her man. Please help me. Desperately needed advice. Thanks a lot. -z-
I’m definitely NOT saying you should have been looking to have a kid with her recently – not at all. I’m just saying that the relationship should have been very gradually progressing into more and more serious territory. Women need to notice this kind of progress because it shows them that eventually the relationship could lead to her delivering what nature intended – kids.
please help me out. my ex broke up with with because she said she was tired of the relationship. i met another lady and we are dating. My ex girl who was in the states has now come back to the country and wants us to trash our differences and make up. but am in another relationship and i love this new girl. However, seeing my ex girl again brought back memories and the love i had for her but scared she will be stubborn again. i dont know who should i continue my life with since my current girl has done nothing to me and also loves me