It is natural to feel anxious and sad when this happens. Your anguish may lead you to attempt to use various manipulation tactics to get the upper hand in your relationship. But playing games to gain or regain the power in a relationship is bound to lead to its demise. There are many relationships in which one person holds more power than the other, but these tend to be extremely unhealthy. Physically or verbally abusive relationships, relationships in which one partner is cheating, and relationships in which one partner has more assets than the other (that are not common property) are often doomed to fail or to lead to heartbreak and unhappiness.
Send her a letter. Girls also love letters, because they take a lot of time and you have to express your feelings. Start off by saying something like: "I know this letter doesn't fix what's broken between us, and maybe it never will. But I want you to know that I care deeply about you, and I always will. That part has never changed. The part that's changed is that I realize how stupid I was to let you go."
Okay, so My situation is very different and I’m still in need of some advice (this was VERY helpful though, THANK YOU!). When my ex and I first met, it was through some friends when we went out to a bar. We jumped into a relation just a few weeks after meeting, which I felt was very soon for me. I felt that he and I hadn’t really connected completely and that during the relationship I didn’t know him as well as well as I did previous boyfriends because we weren’t really close before we decided to give the relationship a try, unlike my past relationships where we were friends for at least a month or two before taking the next step. But that’s not the main reason why we broke up. I had trust issues from the past few relationships I had been in. I was cheated on multiple times, led on, and in the most recent relationship before my ex and I, I was left for another girl. I couldn’t really get over all of that and instead of letting it go, I carried that with me and lived in fear of the day that my now ex-boyfriend would do the same. After having a serious talk and explaining that to him, he made it clear that I didn’t trust him, but trust is one of the most important factors in a relationship. He felt that because I didn’t trust him and because I hurt his feelings by telling him how I felt, that he couldn’t trust me. So, we came to a conclusion and decided that since I felt we were’t very close to begin with and since we both felt that we don’t trust each other enough to be in a relationship, that we’d start over as friends and see where we end up. I explained to him that I care about him and that I don’t plan on seeing anyone else unless he finds someone new, that I’m exclusive to him. And he said he was exclusive to me as well. So my question is, how do I earn his trust back? I’m ready to be with him again, I’m not worried about him hurting me anymore like my exes did before and I have no doubts about weather or not I’d be able to make this work on my end. So how do I earn his trust? I plan on spending time with him and taking the advice already given from this article, so what else can I do? I know I need to be patient and I understand that it’s going to be hard since I’m so ready to give this another try. Is there anything else that I need to understand before I really work my ass off to get him back?
There was no “trick” to getting Mary back for good. Going through a tragedy had changed me. It was terrible, but it helped me grow the hell up, and by the time Mary and I crossed paths again, I was ready to be the kind of person who texts back and keeps plans and buys presents for no apparent reason. We don’t yell at each other in the street anymore, and that’s pretty cool.
Me and my ex met at work. We hit it off the first couple weeks were heaven. We had so much in common and never stopped laughing to the point where we would annoy my roommates. After those few weeks we started dating and he would come stay at my house alot because he lived a town away. The first couple months were great. I started to realize he had trust issues and drank way too much. I left him and he asked me back he quit drinking. I took h back and it was even better then the first time but a few months down the road his jealousy started again and I was very mean to him because of it. He had broken up with me told me he didn’t love me anymore, said he wasn’t attracted and he had someone else. I got so hurt I went out with my best friend and got really drunk. I gave a guy my number because I was so mad at my ex I wanted to make him feel the same way. I ended up calling him after I did that because I knew I didn’t want anyone else. I patched things up and we made up. I never told him about me giving my phone number out because I didn’t want to mess it up. I never spoke to the guy after that night, he never even text. Maybe a month swum the road and things were coming together nicely and the guy from the night out text, my boyfriend saw it. I came clean although we were broken up he is still hurt and feels like he was right all along to not trust me. Just when he was starting to trust that I was different. I know I want to change and not take him for granted like I did or put my friends first. I love him so much and I don’t know what to do. He says he doesn’t want to be together anymore but he says things like he doesn’t want to be around my friend anymore and that he’s moving back home with or without me. He says there is no chance but says things like that. What do I do? I know I messed up by trying to get back at him but it never went farther than giving my number.
MY EX and i broke up a week ago. I want him back. I believe we were good together. But we work together, any advice on how to deal with that? He explained why. He cared about me alot and didn’t want to risk hurting me because ehe was going through something. That he needed to be alone. I told him I was willing to be there and wait for him that wasn’t a good reason to end things. He said no I shouldn’t we went back and forth. At some point we broke up. But I said I’m waiting for him for a while. We were both crying. He told me if I’m still around and he was better we could try again. I just feel my heart is missing a piece
My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. He said he did not want to be in a committed relationship anymore. He just wants to be single and see what’s out there. How can you say those things to someone you’ve been with for 4 years?! 3 weeks later, he called me yesterday at 4am. I missed it because I left my phone in the car. I called him today and he said he didn’t remember calling me because he was really drunk. I asked him to meet up for catch up tomorrow and he agreed. I am going to follow this site’s advice: be positive and just have fun. But is there still a chance for us to getting back together? I still love him so much but I feel like he’s made up his mind to be single. I’m so confused and depressed.
Sorry I know this is ridiculous and LONG. So its been a week since he dumped me, all my friends are telling me to forget him and move on. That if he wanted to be with me he would. I just cant..i even took your advice and went on a date last weekend and it only made me miss him more. I want to reach out to him now. I was thinking about leaving a voicemail directly. I want him to hear my voice and hear me explain. My friends said not to, but i think it may help if he really hears me. All our stupid fighting has been through text and I think that only makes things worse. Any advice would be great!
I tried everything imaginable to recover my relationship with my ex. He has a substance problem which I was unaware of for a long time. When I finally discovered it I was naive enough to think his promises of trying to quit would work. The worst part was his interfering guy “friends” who did not want me to break up the party. He is middle aged and so am I. I tried to be tolerant as we had many great times and we compatible in many ways. I do believe this man loved me and I thought we might get married (neither of us had ever been married).
I’m in the exact same situation, I know he loves me, but he’s tierd of believing I would stop making problems out of everything, he tells me he has stopped believing he can love me, but that he really thinks he might stop thinking that after some time. This all happened in one week, I don’t believe he has stopped loving me, all the times he told me never to doubt his love, it can’t end like this. For now I’m going to give him time, not talk to him.. But I don’t know how to let him know I have changed and that we can truly bé together without any troubles and fusses. What happened with you Anabelle, have you solved it? I really need help
Many online relationship "experts" will tell you to play power games to win back the love in your relationship, or to reignite the spark. Don't do it. If you purposely ignore your partner or intentionally act cold and distant, you are playing a game. And while this sort of behavior may lead to increased attention from a partner for a short while, it will not have a long-lasting effect on your relationship. If you frequently act rude or mean, ignore your partner, or act cold and distant, your partner will eventually lose interest in you.
Me and my ex boyfriend broke up last night, I think of him everyday. I can’t sleep he’s always on my mind. I want him back to me :( I don’t know what will I do I miss him. I Want to text, call and see him asap :(((( I don’t want to be stock on this break up what will I do I want him back as soon as possible :( I want to apologize with him. But he said its over, let’s stop this. And I feel sad and hurt at the same time its my fault that’s then. I broke my promise once again and he hates mo for doing that. :( I really want him back :(
You see that picture of me and the kids at the top of the page? Those two, more than anything else, made me want to save my marriage to Allison. I’m sure a lot of you are in the same position. You do what you can so those young ones don’t have to experience a broken home or a home of yelling and fighting. My wife took that picture 7 years ago. I have a smile on my face but my relationship was falling apart and I was desperate to save my marriage. Actually, I wasn’t desperate, I was angry and bitter and confused and I was almost ready to throw in the towel after 5 years of marriage to Allison. I was ready to consider breaking up our home and shattering the lives of my 3 year old daughter and my 1 year old son. I went through the motions of saying “I Love You” to Allison, but with all the fights we had I wasn’t really sure I believed it anymore.
Me and my boyfriend had been together 4 4months,the thing is that we stay in different countries we had this thing that disturbed our relationship were he is accusing me of cheating but I wasn’t he said guys call me a lot n I don’t tell them 2 back off, so since he travelled back it has Been one problem 2 another teLling how he hate me and he needs space I will beg him and we will come back again but few days ago he told me he needed space 4 now that my love is affecting his life and work that I should move on with my life I still love him and don’t know how 2 apply these rules since we are not close 2 each other and he said he will be back by septemeber help me 2 make this work what do u advice me 2 do thanks
My boyfriend just broke up with me 3 days ago and weve been together for 2 years and 8 months. We had been madly in love with each other and he asked me to marry him twice even tho we couldn’t actually get married because we were only 16 at the time but he asked me all the time well we got in a fight and I told him I couldn’t handle how he was treating me so I told him we needed to break up, he was very heart broken and cried and begged me to take him back and I did within 5 hours. But then about 4 months later he broke up with me he said he wasn’t the same since I broke up with him and that he was done. well while we were broken up for about a week he had sex with another girl, just a rebound hook up and he hates talking about it. but He had lied to me about it when we got back together and said they had kissed and he left and I didn’t care because I had my love back, but then 7 months later we were using his phone to get on facebook and he accidently sent a message to a girl we were both talking for different reasons and he said oh hey I accidently sent molly a message on your facebook I thought I was on mine. well I didn’t really think much of it but then I was wondering what could he be talking to her about? well I got on his facebook and he was talking to molly about her best friend he had the rebound hook up with and I freaked out and left and he called me franticly wanting to know where I went and I asked him about him having sex with another girl and that he had told me they only kissed and he came clean and said he did and he told me he understood if I never talked to him again but I love him more than life so I said no were just gonna have to work through it and your going to have to be patient with me because you’ve lost almost all my trust. well we did have our fights but we always worked through them and figured out what was wrong but I did use him lying to me as a weapon when we got in fights and he started to get very angry that I was still bringing it up. well we talked and before he had broken up with me the first time he said that if we broke up again he would never get back together with me because he didn’t want to string things out but we did get back together he text me saying he still loved me and wanted me back so we got back together. Then he had me move into his parents house with him and things were normal but he got another job and worked more hours so it added some stress and I was getting stressed out about my own job and we did take it out on each other. but we had our good days and bad ones we would go on date nights and laugh and have fun and I asked him if we break up were never getting back together are we? and he just wrapped me in a hug and said it doesn’t matter how many times we break up we will always get back together because I love you way too much to let you go forever. well I found out he had been messaging other girls about our relationship issues which really bothered me because I thought we could talk about anything and sharing any of our concerns with each other he told me all the time that I was his best friend and I would joke around and say yeah well your not mine but then I would tell him later that he is my best friend and I love him. I just wanted to be able to talk about anything and not hide things. but then on my graduation night three days ago I had to work at 5 am and then do my grad stuff and he had to work at noon so we weren’t going to really see each other except after my graduation so when we got home after dinner he told me he didn’t have to be at work for a half hour and I thought oh cool we can hangout and relax since we haven’t seen each other all day well he started to rush off to work and I got upset and I said so your choosing work over me on my grad night? and he got mad and left when he came home from work he went in the bathroom and left his phone on the night stand I did think I was going to find anything on his phone he had only talked to his mom and a co worker but I was bored so looked through what he was saying to his mom and pretty much he felt like we needed to break up but he felt bad about it and didn’t know what to do and his mom just didn’t want him to feel stuck but he also was talking about how I got upset at him going to work but twisted it so it was completely different then why I was mad. well when he came back I just quoted his text to his mom and asked so you don’t want to be together anymore and he got upset and withdrew from me but after we talked for awhile we weren’t as mad at each other and my friend asked if she needed to pick me up because I told her what was going on and I told my boyfriend that she would come get me but then he changed and was telling me I didn’t have to leave and I could stay there with him but I just calmly said no its okay Ill leave and while I was waiting for my friend it actually looked like he was about to cry before I left. well the next morning I text him asking where we were at relationship wise and the night before he said he didn’t know what he wanted to do yet that I should keep my key to the house because he didn’t know what was going to happen yet, well when I text him he told me he just couldn’t get back together and that it was over and he was done but in a way that didn’t sound like him. and I begged him not to do that but I just went to the house and moved my stuff out while he was gone and I asked him what things he wanted me to take and he didn’t really care if it was something I got him he would say well ill keep it but if you want it you can take it. then yesterday I text him wondering if he could bring my cd and a couple other things I left at his house to my house and if we could talk and he was very short and said he didn’t know what we would talk about when the other night he said we could talk whenever I needed to and that he was always here for me and that he still cares about me and that you don’t be with someone and spend almost 3 years of your life with someone and not still care for them but when he replied with being angry and mean I just stop texting him because hes acting really weird and idk if its because hes hurt to and confused and doesn’t know what to do because he told me hes not happy with where hes at (he graduated last year and isn’t in school just works) and that hes going no where in life and that I deserve better and hes just an assh*le to me and not doing anything with his life and that hes super stressed out. so I don’t know what to do I haven’t text him today and all my friends say to just give him space and even his sister said let him be he will start missing you after a few days and hell want you back which I hope is true because I want to start over with a clean slate like this articles says and just try again but different approach I know what Ive been doing wrong and I love him so much and I know he use to love me too and when were together we are super happy when its just us but his friend who told me he was jealous of mine and my boyfriends relationship because his gf is off in the navy now he wouldn’t let us have time alone just constant on top of us even my boyfriends parents would ask me about it and say wow you guys don’t get alone time anymore and it made me stressed out because he is just using my boyfriends house as a place to drink and smoke and he gets jealous when my boyfriend isn’t giving him all his attention and I feel like that also had stressed him out too which sucks because Ive been blinded by my own problems and stress I didn’t realize he was hurting too. so im talking to his mom tomorrow to find out if I even still have a chance and whats actually going on with my boyfriend =/ I just hope that he cares about me enough to still want to try but idk I need advice on what I need to do and what I should do!
Your story is very similar to mine. He was dating another girl but i didnt know it. He came back to me several times but didnt want to work things out so i blocked him from social media. that was three months ago. He has been dating that girl for several months even when when he was trying to convince me that he still loved me and missed me but because of my shortcomings he couldnt be with me. Now they are a couple and he hasnt tried to reach out. i changed my number though.
So remember, YOU control the amount of mate value that women perceive in you – meaning you DO have the power to get her back, AND to get girls more attractive than her, if you want them. This is why I created this website – to help you control (increase) your mate value and become the attractive man who can entice his ex back, regardless of your occupation, salary looks etc.
My boyfriend left me 2 weeks ago ;( evrything was absolutely amazing and perfect. I love him and his little girl so much and i feel heartbroken. We had 8 mounths relationship in witch we lived together….I think i was a bit jelous of his ex, the mother of his daughter, witch i regret now ;( but is it too late? I think he loves me, despite when he left me he said he doesn’t want a relationship and he doesn’t love me the same way i do. Is it possible to tell me all this just to make me go away, or to protect me, or I really dunno….and that’s killing me…. I haven’t slept proparly, i haven’t eaten proparly, i hate my job ( and I think that was one of the reasons we start having problems, cause i was really moody ) and i just want him back. PLEASE, i need help, i am so confused and hurted. .. If anybody have any advice i am happy to listen
i will like to share my testimony to you all.i just got married to my husband about a year ago we start having problems at home like we stop sleeping on the same bed,fighting about little things he always comes home late at night,drinking too much and sleeping with other women out side.i have never love any man in my life except him.he is the father of my children and i don't want to loose him because we have worked so hard together to become what we are and have today.few month ago he now decided to live me and the kid,being a single mother can be hard sometimes and so i have nobody to turn to and i was heart broken.i called my mom and explain every thing to her,my mother told me about LORD NOBEL how he helped her solve the problem between her and my dad i was surprise about it because they have been without each other for three and a half years and it was like a miracle how they came back to each other.i was directed to LORD NOBEL and explain everything to him,so he promise me not to worry that he will cast a spell and make things come back to how we where so much in love again and that it was another female spirit that was controlling my husband.he told me that my problem will be solved within two days if i believe i said OK.So he cast a spell for me and after two days my love came back asking me to forgive him.i Am so happy now. so that why i decided to share my experience with every body that have such problem contact him on
What does it mean when….. I said I want things over as I don’t think he’s in right place for a relationship (and he agreed) and I explained I wasn’t happy that things weren’t progressing, not enough respect etc…..he came back asking if I’d met someone and if I change my mind to talk to him again; I replied that I am opening myself up to dating again as there’s no real commitment with us; and that I think things would need to be different for me to explore more with him (as I don’t want casual or to be a texting buddy)….he then said in a midnight text ‘me too, about your honesty’ (which confuses me?) and I haven’t heard from him for over a week…and then not long after he accepted my long outstanding Facebook friend request (with friends/photos not accessible)……I don’t know what to read from that? And I’ve not contacted further.
This article sounds good i want my ex to come back to me, only becouse we had a great relationship and i never wanted him to leave. It was he who said that it was nfot going to work anymore just becouse she started a new job and didn’t have the time and let’s be honest he was lazy and didn’t wanted to commit at the end… Anyway i know he is the one for me all is needed is for him to make the decition and take responsibility. Does that sounds like i am desparate and do you think we should be thogether if i have done all for us and he saw a little obsticle on the way and decided he can’t do it.?…..
Often the problems that are truly unmanageable occur when both partners have opposing interests. Here are some examples: one person tries to dominate the other, one person wishes to leave the home whenever he/she chooses, one person reserves the right to see friends all during the week, one person is a philanderer, one person assigns work to the other, one person refuses responsibility for a child, one person begrudges spending money on the other or on the family. Naturally, the other spouse will resent being dominated, or ignored, or taken advantage of. These problems cannot be resolved just by understanding the other better. These are examples of one person putting himself/herself first. When a couple has opposing interests, the problems they develop are likely to prove intractable.
You are so amazing and spot on and absolutely gorgeous! Excellent article!! Want to brief you with my situation. Dated a guy 5 yrs ago went on 6 dates and we connected well but I never had sex with him. He made all the effort but he’s a business guy and I was a student And he ended things since I was demNding for his time. We got back a year after and same situation. Now I’m a working surgeon grown woman. After 5 years he sends me a text on this year Valentine’s. I just got out of a relationship then. We decided to meet and it was my bday that week. He bought me a Chanel bag and took me more shopping. Had dinner at my favourite French place. Stayed in a suite. We had sex for the first time ever. Was nice and intimate. Since then he texts me everyday 3 times a day and made plans to meet me again in 2 weeks. I live 4 hrs away so he came to see me last weekend. I arranged a lovely suite on the beach and we went out for lunch played golf. He texted me saying he appreciated the effort I made and had a good time. After that he’s been distant. Not as much flirting. Btw he has a 2 yr old son he’s busy with. Single dad and has a nanny over the week. Weekends he’s full time dad. Anyways i texted him yesterday we flirted a bit. Made little small talk and he was busy traveling. Asked him he’s been bit mellow and is everything ok with work? He said all good thanks. He did say he hAs a lot of work to be done before his trip next week…No more good morning msgs or night msgs. He’s making a trip to Dubai next week with his son so surely won’t hear from him for a week. But the day before he was leaving I sent a text saying hey just wanted to know as we are adults and be honest with each other. If I’m going to invest on time and according to your busy schedule and being a single dad and if I’m going to wait for you to come back from the trip, do you want to be exclusive and date or date casually as sex buddies? So he answered saying Hey, firstly i’m sorry if my yummy mummy comments upset you – they were never intended that way.
Until I got a bit tipsy one night and our conversation turned to him admitting that if he was who he is now, we would have never broke up; and that if we were to get together in person it would be a bad idea since something would happen. I couldnt believe how happy I was to hear that, and the next night we had a totally sober conversation where we arranged to get together purely for sex.
I’d been having pretty hard time at work and school for the last year and was very stressed and clingy. But now I’ve sorted all that out and am feeling like the person I used to be in 2011. Since the breakup I’ve felt like I was going off the rails going on dates and doing activities and just anything to try to make me feel better (this is both when I was and was not talking to him). None of it makes me feel better, I cant stop thinking about him because he feels like my other half.
Okay so my boyfriend broke up with me because I was transferring to another college while he was being forced to go back to Chicago. When we talked, he told me he was staying a bit longer but he still chooses to go to Chicago, despite that he didn’t really want to break up with me. How do I know if he really wants me back? I still love him, but I don’t want to chase him away.
The truth is, even though YOU may seem to fight constantly with your spouse, you might find it’s not that hard to completely turn things around and save your marriage. It’s not that hard (if you know how to do it) to actually stop fighting and start loving each other again! It seems like a miracle, but it is true. Even your sex life can recover – it’s not as hard as you might think. Boy, I have said that a lot, huh? “It’s not that hard to save your marriage.”
Hi I need ur advice can u able to help me I want my bf back he don’t break up with me but have affair with other girl and say ones he break up with her than think for me when ever he marry just marry with me not her so y at present he talk with that girl y he is not with me and all his friends post on that girls time line and that girl send me pics off my bf with her I really need help pls if possibal replay me by mail I need help I want my bf back with me any how I will do it plz so me a track to get him back …
So, find out what messed up your relationship and work on it. Were you too cranky, moody, jealous, demanding, insane, nagging-all-day, not giving him his space and freedom, disrespectful, got fat, made out with another guy, or you just sucked in bed? Whichever it was – fix it. He needs to see that, after a month or so of breaking up, you are progressing; suddenly you became a different person. But do it for you, not for him. Once he sees how much different you became he'll wish you never broke up in the first place, he'll want to give the whole thing another chance too.
Ive been seeing a woman we are both in our late 30’s for about 5 months, and got introduced with her young children and her parents a couple of times. Everything was great then her child had problems at school, the ex of 2 years ago and the father of the children got involved, then straight away after 20 odd texts a day cut down to 2 a day. I decided to turn up with some flower to show my support as knew something was wrong. She wasn’t home so went in her friends shop to see if they knew what time she would be back who then told her I was in the village, with that I received a txt saying is this true and why was I about and to go as she didn’t want me at the house when she returned. I went back to her friends shop to ask if they knew what was wrong and had they said anything about me being there as wanted it to be a surprise. Since then by txt it has got totally out of hand where the friends have said things and she has taken what Ive said wrong, now she wants me to leave her alone as she thinks its not normal turning up the way I did and she is scared I will turn up again which I has said I wont.