For example, a boy comes to you in a bar and offers you to buy a drink. What will be your response? Most probably you would not value his friendship that much because you didn’t work for it. You may though of saying ‘YES’ to him but very next moment after buying drink you wouldn’t be giving any attention to him. Why?  This is because you didn’t work for it.


Do something nice for her without expecting her to pay you back. If she's studying late for an exam, pop by with her favorite tea or coffee and let her know that you know she's going to kill it tomorrow. If one of her friends gets in an accident, stop by and pay your respects (the friend will definitely let your ex know you stopped by). If your ex mentions she wanted to see a movie, buy her two tickets for her and her friend to see, and don't butt in. Your time will come soon.

When I was a medical student I was walking along Third Ave one evening and stopped to argue with a friend of mine, at the same time leaning against a doorway, which suddenly swung in precipitating me down a couple of steps into a weird hallway. Odd decorations were hanging all along the wall, evidently for sale. I only remember a used toilet seat which had a price on it of thirty dollars, quite a lot of money back then. Anyway, this place turned out to be some sort of shop, although there was no sign anywhere. The proprietor was a fat, unkempt woman who had a cigarette dangling from her mouth. She took one look at me and said that what I needed was a "love potion." I needed something, I knew, so I ordered the love potion, which was not as expensive as the toilet seat-- but cost too much, I told her. She got mad and muttering took the potion back.
You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.
Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.

I’d been having pretty hard time at work and school for the last year and was very stressed and clingy. But now I’ve sorted all that out and am feeling like the person I used to be in 2011. Since the breakup I’ve felt like I was going off the rails going on dates and doing activities and just anything to try to make me feel better (this is both when I was and was not talking to him). None of it makes me feel better, I cant stop thinking about him because he feels like my other half.


Broke up with girlfriend after over 2 years together. We had some issues and had been to relate but finished counselling positively. Change of job had me move towns. She followed me 2 months later when she also had new job. My job fell apart and I had to quit just as she relocated. I then got work elsewhere on temporary basis but it went on for 9 weeks. We barely saw each other saw each other. I felt pulled work wise away from her and I allowed it to happen. We split. I was in denial for a month or so. When realisation hit I was heartbroken. I’ve tried emailing to say I want to get back together but she’s said she’s not in love with me and we have no future and that she wants space to heal.. I love her so much. I’ve written a heartfelt apology for hurting her but she won’t respond. I just don’t know what to do. I think she’s built up her barriers and is determined to put me in a box and ignore me. What do I do? I’m so very sad, really love her and can see all the ways we could have a really good relationship but if are doesn’t….
Use that time to really understand what happened. Dating coach, Lisa Shield, adds: "There's a lot of fear when we try to put ourselves out there after having our hearts broken. Many of us don't have a good enough understanding of what we did wrong in the past. So, how are we going to prevent it from happening again? If you can, talk to a dating coach or relationship expert who can guide you to that understanding. Because, if you don't make sense of the past, it's going to be really hard to move forward."
Luckily, the period of no contact will give you the time to put in place practices and structures to help you drop your stories and see things in a more positive light. Journaling, meditating, and yoga also helps. Maybe it sounds a little too new-age for you, but intense emotional experiences can send your thoughts into overdrive, so it’s really important to try and find a stillness within and learn to quiet your mind, or at least slow it down a bit.
My fears came true last night when my boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me. I am 23, he is 26. We have both been in very serious previous relationships and when we finally met, it was a soul connection other than purely physical or anything of that sort. I was with my high school sweetheart for 6 years… He had been separated from his wife for two years and a half years(they were married at 21), and has just recently signed the final divorce papers.
i want my ex back but right now to forget him i have a boy.And after he left me i had relationships with many.i feel lost. i just want him back to me.But now when i message him he just don’t care.but i see him sometimes looking at me.i am lost. Please help me.Hes ignoring me. I said him that i wanna tell him something important and i wanna meet him but he said cant meet just message if not go.is it right if i meet up him and tell him that i wanna him back and i will make my mistake forget the past and well be happy again pleas help me please.
My ex girlfriend dumped me last night. She said that I treated her better than anyone ever had before, and when I asked why she was breaking up with me she said it was because I treated her more like a friend then a girlfriend. I was okay with it and trying to start to move on but then she texted me and said “I hope that this break up wont be a permanent thing and that I hope someday soon we can get back together”I have no clue what to do but I would like to get back togethersince she was the only girl I actually readily liked when i came across Dr kate she help me cast a return spell and my girl came back the third day thank you Dr kate you can also reach her email on (katelovespell@hotmail.com)
My ex loved me like crazy and i didnt quite value it. I broke up with him 6 months back. And then i realized i loved him, so i became clingy and irritating and moody, things got worse and it was the first time that he told me that he didnt want to get back. We were best friends from 3 years, and we dated for 8 months. Now he has come back, he just wants to be friends, though he is not dating anyone. I am so in love with him!! He says he loves me when he is drunk but something else when he is sober. He is giving me so many mixed signals that it hurts. I have no idea what to do.
Healing your marriage is about deciding what changes your relationship needs in order to be stronger, healthier and happier, and then making those changes happen. It is about taking charge and not letting the winds of fate control your lives. “Yes,” you say. “Where do I begin? What do I work on? How am I going to save my marriage?” Well, your answers begin here.
Talk to his friends. If you have mutual friends or if his friends would be willing to talk to you without telling your ex about it, consider asking them what they think the chances are that your ex would want to get back together with you. They are more likely than you to know if he has a new girlfriend or if he's dying to get back together with you.[5]
I want my girlfriend back beautiful message girl in Merimbula and cute and funny and guy make smile and laugh and better things to say that I love you Ada Baker biggest love heart hot and sexy girlfriend and her beautiful person my brother and Trisha getting in Engaged wedding on 14th April next year church so I love my girlfriend so i gotta love to her help me with any of the world very much
my boyfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago, and hasnt talked to me since. he didn’t give me a reason why, he just told me that he wanted to be honest and that he didnt love me anymore, i have heard no rumors of there being another person in his life. up to the day he broke up with me we had been out of contact for about a week and a half because he was very sick and couldnt talk. he wouldnt let me visit him, so i couldnt do anything to help. then on a wednesday morning he told me that he didnt love me anymore… we began being intimate a month ago and as of that time, our sex life only lasted less than a month, could it be that he only wanted me for the sex? how can i figure out the reason if he wont give it to me? i was shocked as well as everyone else was, we never had a fight and i would visit him every chance that i had, so my guess is because i was too clingy, i want him back but i dont want him to take me for granted, and i want him to love me again like he had promised me so many times, at this point my emotions are physcotic and i want to call him and demand an explanation for leaving me, but i remain silent. what would the next step be?
Johnny Cassell was pivotal in my decision to travel 5000 miles to establish a relationship I had completely misunderstood. His advice provided unfounded insight that I allowed my ego to overlook. Whether you are confident or not…this highly calm, collective and intelligent expert in dating can make you realise the answers to your relationship troubles. Consider him the best friend, confidante or muse in your life.

You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.
I dated my girlfriend for 8yrs. We broke up one year ago but kept trying to get back together. She just officially dumped me a couple of weeks ago. Her reasons were that I took too long to change my ways and that she didn’t know what she wanted right now. I still keep trying to show her that I love her more than anything. All she does all day long is work and go to college classes. I feel that there is still a small chance that it will work between us. Our past fights were always about my job, I was insensitive, too much partying, not paying attention to her needs and that she wanted me to better myself. Her birthday is coming up and I bought her a gift. Is that bad? I don’t know what I should do. I really need some help. I love this girl and I don’t want almost nine years to go down the toilet. I did change my ways by the way. I’m also applying for a good job. Hopefully I get it. We lived together and now I live with my sister for the time being. So I say again what advise do u give me.
WOW I don’t “KNOW” you…But I really like you! ?You are HILARIOUS and REAL and it’s clear that you’ve truly been “there” before by the things that you say. It’s like your taking these feelings and thoughts straight from MY mind and typing them out. I LOVE what you stand for (and what you don’t stand for). Well my question is in the last paragraph from what’s above, when you say something like : after getting your ex back he will eventually SHOW you (if we took your advice about showing we’re not putting up with the bs) that the break-up was a good thing.- Are you saying you feel they’ll still be the same way they were BEFORE the breakup (a f*cktard?) or they will possibly have changed for the better due to us setting those “what’s not acceptable” boundaries? And do you always feel that they would ONLY want you back due to a wanting to be in control thing not ever because they actually love you? Just wondering
Social media is a very useful tool for this. First thing you can try is to post pictures of you and your friends out having fun, clearly not seeming too concerned about the breakup. This will indicate higher mate value, because if your pictures show that the breakup doesn’t seem to have affected you too badly, the way she’ll see it, evidently you feel you could REPLACE her if you needed to. Because if you couldn’t replace her, then you’d seem more upset about having lost her…
I am devastated and lost. My ex and I met freshman year of college. He was always so into me more than I was into him. He was absolutely in love with me, I was his life line. He was so serious in seeing me as his life partner, his future and everything. He made it known that if we were ever to end it would be because I ended it, not him. I see where things got unhealthy–he always wanted to spend time with me mostly and we did spend all of our time together. This school semester he became more busy with schoolwork and practice, and we clearly spent less time together. Our lives became more routine together, because he still lived in my dorm and we got every meal together. We started having more problems because I was not the happiest with him. I would call him out on things he did that showed less interest in me because I was upset we were not spending as much time together. In addition, he became very hurt when he did not get into a social club on campus, because he suddenly felt like he had no friends and was not cool. One day while fighting, he decided he wanted to break up. This is the person who absolutely swore to never do such a thing, and even though in the past we were in positions where this could have occurred, we never actually ended things–we worked through them. When i reflect i seee that he believed all of a sudden we were spending too much time together, made too many controls together, and that he was missing social opportunities. However, this is the hole he made for himself because he wanted us together and did not care for others. I believe that the rejection from the club and him being annoyed with my behavior led him to believe he is no longer in love with me. He says he loves me more than anything, but does not feel the same way. I convinced him to try to feel emotions for me again, so the past month we continued the meals and living togetehr, but he would never kiss me on the lips and became distant. Then finally he broke up with me and said that he just wants to be single and is not in a place for a relationship right now. How do I handle this? I want him back, and I want everything we had back. He said he wants to be bestfriends, but I said no I cannot and that I want no communication, but we have not exactly had no communication because he texted me today a week later asking if I could help him financially and that he will give the money back as soon as he can (I told him to ask others first because this is disrespectful and then i would if otehrs couldnt, because he said he doesnt know who else to go to). I assumed he would come back to me, and it would show him that he needs me, but he says he found someone else to help him. How do I get him back? We have one class together a week.
We’ll i hope theres someone out there that can truly help me with all BS aside… Im senior at my hight school and my girlfriend is a junior. I know my girlfriend left me for pressuring her of wanting to hang out more when she was busy with school… But i have an explanation for my behavior…soo me and my girl friend where going to be 1 year in may 8th of 2014 but she broke up with me may 4th :,( … Im not going to lie i would get mad at my girlfriend but its only cuz i wanted to talk to her more…try to understand that i started going out with her my junior year with 2 months of school left and then i got use to seeing her everyday and hanging out with her nearly everyday…so once school started , it was hard for me to make that transition of not seeing/hanging out with her so i would finish my hwk and work hard so i could talk to her yet sometimes she would procrastinate so most of the time she called to say goodnight and i just felt bad cuz i really love this girl and wanted to talk to her ….im not going to lie we both have our attitudes but ill admit me more than her …she never did nothing but love me…she didnt judge me even though im pretty skinny yet i would be an ass and jude her at time …ima admit compared to her i was an ass …all i really wanted to do was keep communication but i added more stress on top of her school stress …now shes gone and its been 5 days since she broke up with me on may 4th and its just really hard cuz shes tells me that shell think of me and her getting back together but that she wont consider it…so it just brings me down….we’ve been through so much for her to just cut it …her mom and dad were surprised that she broke up with me cuz they even said i respected her a lot …so im trying not to listen to her negative comments because she might not mean it and shes just saying it right now so i figured ill give her space but i really need some advice to win her back …i want her back and i just cant let go…don’t think that because were teenagers its just young foolish love …i really do love her and believe anything is possible …after all we did start of as strangers and she rejected me the first time and after 2 months i asked her and won her…this girl is really special and i know i took her for granted and that was wrong of me…HELP PLEASE… Ima give her space and not text her or do anything else so she can hopefully think of things but i honestly need advice..please
When a couple has been very close for a long time, the rupture of that relationship is painful. Letting go is not easy and is usually regarded as regrettable. “I invested ten years of my life in that person,” someone may say. It is as if there should be some return on all those years, some tangible remainder of all that effort. It is as if the end of the relationship invalidated everything that went before. It is usual, therefore, and natural, to want to hold on—to recover what has been lost. To fall back in love, if that is possible.
I met a guy whilst travelling in Australia, and we dated for four months and travelled together the whole time. He said he loved me many times, that I made him feel things he never felt before and couldn’t stand the thought of me being with anyone else. Things felt so perfect. He made me feel like he wanted me so much. We are both from the same area in the UK and planned to carry things on when getting home. The last time I saw him at the airport, he told me he loved me and would be waiting for me when I got home in 2 weeks. However, as soon as he arrived home, he told me he changed his mind and didn’t want to commit to a relationship because of work and because his life is too busy. In the same phone call he also told me that he didn’t want me to get with anyone else. I love him so much, I started no contact as soon as he broke up with me and we haven’t spoken since (its been 10 days). I accepted his decision and told him that I couldn’t be friends right now as it was too hurtful, and that he had no right to expect me to wait around and not get with anyone else. He got very angry at this and called me bitter and childish. I don’t understand how his feelings changed so quickly. We still stayed friends on social media. I upload photos of me having a great time with friends, never post anything negative (although deep down i’m really suffering). I’m focusing on me, have taken up a new hobby and started hitting the gym more often. I just love him and miss him so much, every morning I hope today is the day he will message to say he made a mistake and wants me back. Is there any chance he will come back soon? or eventually? I don’t know what to do to make this happen. Any advice would be great.

Do something nice for her without expecting her to pay you back. If she's studying late for an exam, pop by with her favorite tea or coffee and let her know that you know she's going to kill it tomorrow. If one of her friends gets in an accident, stop by and pay your respects (the friend will definitely let your ex know you stopped by). If your ex mentions she wanted to see a movie, buy her two tickets for her and her friend to see, and don't butt in. Your time will come soon.
A little bit about us..he has always felt i was too good for him, even though i never felt that way. His friends had even said i was too good for him and they didnt know what i saw in him. He used to think i was going to leave him as soon as i finished up this accelerated program I was in and got a job, because according to him i wouldn’t need him anymore. Which i didn’t do, because I got a job and was still fighting for our relationship. So when he said he needed more space i decided to leave the state and head home to spend time with my family for a month. During this time I was posting a lot on social media that I was having all this fun blah blah blah and making sure to look extra good in all my pictures, all so he would miss me. On all my stories he was always the first to look which made me think perfect he does still care. So, when i got back i reached out to see if he was ready and i told him how much i missed him too. It took him about 2 days to get back to me in which he said i cant do it thru text. I messaged back telling him how much i loved him blah blah and he said that i spiked his anxiety and to leave him alone. He said i never cared about him and i only ever loved him for the convenience of what he would do for me. And i was using him and he was just a butler to me. This broke me. So much. I cant even describe how Ive been feeling lately. Truth is, i think him seeing me have all that fun without him hurt him. I think he still does care. We have been a couple that has spent the majority of our relationship together or in close communication. He drunkenly called me the love of his life to his friends a few weeks before the fight happened. I haven’t been the best at talking about my feelings to him, it took me 7 months to even tell him i love him.
My boyfriend just broke up with me 3 days ago and weve been together for 2 years and 8 months. We had been madly in love with each other and he asked me to marry him twice even tho we couldn’t actually get married because we were only 16 at the time but he asked me all the time well we got in a fight and I told him I couldn’t handle how he was treating me so I told him we needed to break up, he was very heart broken and cried and begged me to take him back and I did within 5 hours. But then about 4 months later he broke up with me he said he wasn’t the same since I broke up with him and that he was done. well while we were broken up for about a week he had sex with another girl, just a rebound hook up and he hates talking about it. but He had lied to me about it when we got back together and said they had kissed and he left and I didn’t care because I had my love back, but then 7 months later we were using his phone to get on facebook and he accidently sent a message to a girl we were both talking for different reasons and he said oh hey I accidently sent molly a message on your facebook I thought I was on mine. well I didn’t really think much of it but then I was wondering what could he be talking to her about? well I got on his facebook and he was talking to molly about her best friend he had the rebound hook up with and I freaked out and left and he called me franticly wanting to know where I went and I asked him about him having sex with another girl and that he had told me they only kissed and he came clean and said he did and he told me he understood if I never talked to him again but I love him more than life so I said no were just gonna have to work through it and your going to have to be patient with me because you’ve lost almost all my trust. well we did have our fights but we always worked through them and figured out what was wrong but I did use him lying to me as a weapon when we got in fights and he started to get very angry that I was still bringing it up. well we talked and before he had broken up with me the first time he said that if we broke up again he would never get back together with me because he didn’t want to string things out but we did get back together he text me saying he still loved me and wanted me back so we got back together. Then he had me move into his parents house with him and things were normal but he got another job and worked more hours so it added some stress and I was getting stressed out about my own job and we did take it out on each other. but we had our good days and bad ones we would go on date nights and laugh and have fun and I asked him if we break up were never getting back together are we? and he just wrapped me in a hug and said it doesn’t matter how many times we break up we will always get back together because I love you way too much to let you go forever. well I found out he had been messaging other girls about our relationship issues which really bothered me because I thought we could talk about anything and sharing any of our concerns with each other he told me all the time that I was his best friend and I would joke around and say yeah well your not mine but then I would tell him later that he is my best friend and I love him. I just wanted to be able to talk about anything and not hide things. but then on my graduation night three days ago I had to work at 5 am and then do my grad stuff and he had to work at noon so we weren’t going to really see each other except after my graduation so when we got home after dinner he told me he didn’t have to be at work for a half hour and I thought oh cool we can hangout and relax since we haven’t seen each other all day well he started to rush off to work and I got upset and I said so your choosing work over me on my grad night? and he got mad and left when he came home from work he went in the bathroom and left his phone on the night stand I did think I was going to find anything on his phone he had only talked to his mom and a co worker but I was bored so looked through what he was saying to his mom and pretty much he felt like we needed to break up but he felt bad about it and didn’t know what to do and his mom just didn’t want him to feel stuck but he also was talking about how I got upset at him going to work but twisted it so it was completely different then why I was mad. well when he came back I just quoted his text to his mom and asked so you don’t want to be together anymore and he got upset and withdrew from me but after we talked for awhile we weren’t as mad at each other and my friend asked if she needed to pick me up because I told her what was going on and I told my boyfriend that she would come get me but then he changed and was telling me I didn’t have to leave and I could stay there with him but I just calmly said no its okay Ill leave and while I was waiting for my friend it actually looked like he was about to cry before I left. well the next morning I text him asking where we were at relationship wise and the night before he said he didn’t know what he wanted to do yet that I should keep my key to the house because he didn’t know what was going to happen yet, well when I text him he told me he just couldn’t get back together and that it was over and he was done but in a way that didn’t sound like him. and I begged him not to do that but I just went to the house and moved my stuff out while he was gone and I asked him what things he wanted me to take and he didn’t really care if it was something I got him he would say well ill keep it but if you want it you can take it. then yesterday I text him wondering if he could bring my cd and a couple other things I left at his house to my house and if we could talk and he was very short and said he didn’t know what we would talk about when the other night he said we could talk whenever I needed to and that he was always here for me and that he still cares about me and that you don’t be with someone and spend almost 3 years of your life with someone and not still care for them but when he replied with being angry and mean I just stop texting him because hes acting really weird and idk if its because hes hurt to and confused and doesn’t know what to do because he told me hes not happy with where hes at (he graduated last year and isn’t in school just works) and that hes going no where in life and that I deserve better and hes just an assh*le to me and not doing anything with his life and that hes super stressed out. so I don’t know what to do I haven’t text him today and all my friends say to just give him space and even his sister said let him be he will start missing you after a few days and hell want you back which I hope is true because I want to start over with a clean slate like this articles says and just try again but different approach I know what Ive been doing wrong and I love him so much and I know he use to love me too and when were together we are super happy when its just us but his friend who told me he was jealous of mine and my boyfriends relationship because his gf is off in the navy now he wouldn’t let us have time alone just constant on top of us even my boyfriends parents would ask me about it and say wow you guys don’t get alone time anymore and it made me stressed out because he is just using my boyfriends house as a place to drink and smoke and he gets jealous when my boyfriend isn’t giving him all his attention and I feel like that also had stressed him out too which sucks because Ive been blinded by my own problems and stress I didn’t realize he was hurting too. so im talking to his mom tomorrow to find out if I even still have a chance and whats actually going on with my boyfriend =/ I just hope that he cares about me enough to still want to try but idk I need advice on what I need to do and what I should do!
He broke up with me last Monday after 1 year and 3 months, for me it was the happiest time of my life and we never fought and had a happy and loving relationship. Reading this has really helped me as I’m going into my second week of NC tomorrow. I genuinely think we both needed a break but I’m not going to sit here and believe that we’re gonna get back together I’m just going to do my 4 Week Detox, then go from there. Wish me luck . X
It's important to not just talk, but to listen and hear what your partner has to say about what's going on in your relationship.[5] You can show you're listening by summarizing what your partner has to say to show you've understood what he or she has said. You can also ask questions that show you've heard what the person has said and that you want to know more.

Dear God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, grandma, grandpa, all the Angels and Saints and Archangels and anyone else I may have missed. Please help me with my relationship. We’ve been together a little over a year and both have young autistic children who are not getting along. We are trying to blend a family and keep moving forward in the right direction but lately have been stressed and fighting. My boyfriend is having a hard time and he’s closing up and giving up on us. Please pray for me and for the five of us. Please pray for my boyfriend. Help him have an open heart and mind and realize that we need each other and will overcome this. Please pray for him and anything he is going through that I do not know about. Please pray for our two little girls as well as the oldest. Please help them get along. Please help me and my jealous ways and help me to fight off all of my insecurities. Please pray for us tonight and everyday and to ward off anyone’s negative thoughts. Please in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
For real, change yourself for the better; let him see that and he'll want to be part of it. But you won't let him back into your world overnight – even if you really, really want to get him back, don't. You both need some time to appreciate each other for other things then sex. And when the sex does come, it better be mind-blowing. Then again, don't be clingy and don't call him every day after that – love all over again – instead, take your time. Let him think about you and worry a bit.
I learned by my girlfriend’s friend that she fell in love with another guy. It’s the middle of summer so I can’t see her or talk to her since she doesn’t have her phone(even when she had it she didn’t answer). I truly love her and need some help with this, not to be weak but because I love her, and I fear that she might go out with that guy if she breaks up with me. Is there a way for me to make her have feelings for me again? A way for not to break up with me?
please help me out. my ex broke up with with because she said she was tired of the relationship. i met another lady and we are dating. My ex girl who was in the states has now come back to the country and wants us to trash our differences and make up. but am in another relationship and i love this new girl. However, seeing my ex girl again brought back memories and the love i had for her but scared she will be stubborn again. i dont know who should i continue my life with since my current girl has done nothing to me and also loves me
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