First of all getting back together with your ex because you are lonely is not a good idea. What you are experiencing is just one of the symptoms of breakup. Everyone feels like this. And it doesn’t last forever. Secondly, acting like this is only going to make your ex less attracted to you. And even if they do feel pity for you, they are not going to get back together because of it.
So I went back to doing what I was doing. I focused on myself, I had fun, I spent time with friends, I did a lot of writing, I traveled, I discovered so many things about myself. I felt happier and better than ever before, all the pieces in my life were finally clicking … and then at the very end of the summer, he reached out to me and after hours of talking, he asked me out. Our first date was seven hours long and we got married a year to the day later!
My boyfriend of seven months broke up with me two days ago. We were really good together, we had a great complicity, friendship, we were always there for each other and like best friends. What went wrong is that I have important anxiety issues and i’ve let them get the best of me and take over our relationship. I have a lot of fears, of abandonment and such. We were constantly fighting because of this, and I believe he did his best to be patient and there for me. My anxieties were mostly caused by the fact that it took him a long time to be ready for a relationship in the beggining, plus he wasnt totally over his ex. He eventually got there but I never completely calmed down about this, until it was already too late.
He said that he didn’t think that we had enoughin common, which isn’t true because we would do so many old and new things together. When we broke up he said that he felt like we stopped being friends but then later saud the he was still my friend because we were really good friends. He also still wanted to hug and touch me and told me that he still wanted to do those things. None ofthis made any sense to me.
This is when I felt like I really met Mary. I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t jealous, and I wasn’t distracted—I had a clear mind, and I loved her. She was the kind of girl I’d always call back, and always take out for dates, and always hold hands with. She’s the kind of girl I never want to be away from. I’d seen what life looked like without Mary (cue damp Jimmy Stewart shouting “Mahhhhrrrrrryyyyy, don’t you remember me Mary?” in It’s a Wonderful Life), and I had a new appreciation for her. I loved the person she had turned into: She had built a life for herself in New York and was the person I know she always wanted to be—she grew her bangs out, too, which I guess is a big thing for women?
My story illustrates the power of working on yourself, of being your best self, of being in a happy, settled place before you enter into a relationship. The reason my husband doesn’t know what shifted is that it wasn’t a tangible thing. It was my vibe and my energy. I changed a lot from the beginning of the summer to the end, I did a lot of important inner work and I genuinely loved myself and was happy with my life. That’s the kind of energy that draws people in. That’s what makes people see you in a different light.
I’m hoping I can put a lot of these tips into good use. My ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago (we were together for 11 months). He broke up with me because I kept starting arguments about stupid things and he was tired of always fighting. The break-up really taught me that I need to change certain parts about myself for the better. However, as time goes by it’s more and more difficult for me to forget him. I’ve sent him a text about once a week since the break-up, and he answered them all. A week ago we were at the same party, and he confessed he still cares about me and loves me. The Monday that follows, however, he acts like he just wants to be friends. I did a stupid thing tonight and called him, though he didn’t answer. I’m worried that I look needy and clingy, when I know all he wants is space. I really want us to work, so hopefully I’ll finally start taking the proper steps. It’s just hard because whenever he does something that looks like a “sign”, I get ahead of myself and try and contact him. No more!
I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year, and she just broke up with me because she seems to care more about her friends than she does our relationship. she wont make time for me and ever sinse we split she refuses to talk to me. I’m heartbroken completely. because we used to be perfect. how do i get her to speak to me again even though she doesnt want to, i need her, please help!
I dated a amazing guy for two years and we broke up 7 years ago. I quickly married the wrong person and have filed for divorce. For years I felt like I owed my ex an apology but I was never in the position to do so (my husband was the insane jealous type), so a month ago I finally worked up the courage to call. It was amazing! We talked for hours and dissected how our relationship was doomed to fail based on our attitudes, and how young and inexperienced we were. Every shitty thing that was done is now a joke that we can laugh at, and we began texting/calling regularly for two weeks. He is on a indefinite break from a long-term girlfriend and I am in the process of divorce, and it seemed like we both just needed to be able to talk to each other and be totally candid about our past and present.
I’m trying this out… We broke up almost 3 months ago. Within a week he had a new girlfriend. He told me he just wants to be friends. But also says how he can’t get over me, is still in love with me and wants to have a baby. But what I can’t understand is why he doesn’t want to me committed with me. We’ve been talking for the past two weeks and even had sex a few times. After reading this I feel like I should just start over. Step by step.. At this point I really don’t know how else to deal with it!! My enitre heart is broken, he’s truly the love of my life… Advise please!!!
Your number one advantage in any breakup situation is to let it happen without fighting her choice to leave. No matter what choice words are running through your mind as she’s spewing her breakup in your general direction, hold your tongue. She has made her decision and at this point, you can’t make her rethink that choice. The last thing you want is another screaming match. Just put your hands in your pockets and wait until she leaves before you start hitting the wall.
It's best to admit your mistakes. You'll need to forgive yourself for your part in the breakup, then move forward to seek his forgiveness. If you lose your temper and say things you don't mean, pull yourself together as quickly possible and apologize sincerely. There is nothing weak or demeaning about apologizing. On the contrary, it shows strength and good character. But when you apologize, be sure you mean it. A disingenuous apology is worse than no apology.
Is it appropriate to post or allow friend to post pictures in my social media like FB of me with another male?? even if we are friends but it can come across as more then friends. Is been 3 months that my on-off boyfriend of 4 yrs left the house we share for the 3 years, his excuses was that I would be better without him, is not the first time he leaves but I had been the one who always reach out to him and “convince him to come back”, I want different results so is been 2 weeks that I staring applying the no contact method and he has not contact me either.
Oh and one more thing…Do not hurt yourself! You’re probably thinking ‘’What!?’’ but it’s true, many people start turning to self-harm thinking that their ex-partner may return by using such emotional behaviour and trust me, If they do somehow come back through this method it will only be for once more. They will probably be worried for you but also mainly for themselves. You’re facing the attention on your ex in a very negative way by doing this. Please, please, please do not do this and if you are in such a bad way emotionally get in touch with us right away. [email protected]
Your first problem is that through your internal, OCD, one-track, incessant hamster wheel thoughts (and it doesn’t matter if no one knows what you’re thinking. Your thoughts will always seep out into your actions) and through your actions, you are essentially begging for him back. You have to take a step back, take a breath and vow to put an end to the crazy, an END to the insanity. No one likes crazy and it looks pathetic, desperate and awful on anyone that tries it on. Begging for him back is the worst approach possible. Men, no matter what they may claim, are very territorial. Men want what they can’t have. He may scream from the rooftops that he doesn’t want you and never wants to see you again and he may even really think that he doesn’t want you but I can assure you, he won’t sleep well at night wondering why it is that suddenly you appear to not give a flying F*CK and why it is you’ve gone from Desperate Debby to #IDFWU please-forget-my-name Patty.
Out of the blue he just stopped talking to me. We go to the same school and there we usually talk but one day he started avoiding me and stopped texting me, too. A couple days later I found him before school and tried to ask him what was going on. He didn’t really answer. When I asked him if he still wanted to be together, all he did was shrugged. I was very upset at his response and just walked away.
That’s really the main aim in Step 8 here – ensure that you don’t make mistakes which would accidentally sabotage the natural getting-back-together process. There’s several common mistakes most guys make at this exact point, and it’s super important that you know WHAT those mistakes are so that you don’t fall victim to them like most do. If you’re not told what these mistakes are, I honestly believe that you WOULD fall victim to them, so let’s discuss them right now.
Hello …love warriors..I very recently ended a 4 yr relationship. ..the last 2 of those 4 yrs we lived 2gether..I’m opting for “no contact” 4 now…..what confuses me..and this question is really for the men is…why would he want to make love to me …when he knew we were going our separate ways…he was very determined to make that happen….I really don’t think that was fair or right….note:…& he contacted me days after our departure..saying he’s glad to hear my voice & he’s thinking about me every minute of the day…wow…smh…pls Jason tell me why he did the lovemaking….b4 it ended….#sleeplessnights #lotsoftears #discardedprincessginger
If you think that by being friends with your ex, you can stay in their lives and hopefully get back together again, you are just plain wrong. By being friends you are not giving yourself and your ex enough time and space to heal. Not to mention, you will probably end up getting friendzoned by your ex. You could end up listening to your ex complaining about their new lovers (cue : Ex-girlfriends) or they might propose being friends with benefits (cue: Ex-boyfriends).
St. Jude I ask that you find it in your heart to pray for me and my boyfriends relationship. I ask that you take away any temptation my boyfriend may have or remove any other individual that will come between our relationship. Help him to be aware of how much I care and love him. I ask that you help our relationship be strong, loving, honest, and respectful. In the name of the father the son and the holy spirit. AMEN –
Ever since the incident, I became really sensitive and every little issue I’ll just ask my boyfriend if she’ll be in the picture and everything. One day, I just spammed him with messages asking why he’d took so long to reply like an hour to reply me, he replied and said he’s just busy with stuffs and everything. Perhaps there’s just nothing behind it but my constant spamming of messages might make him tired of me explaining the same thing over and over again. Till the next day, he’d said “actually I don’t even know if we’ll be able to hang on till the future.”
a lack of respect on either side. If you or your ex call each other names, belittle each other's accomplishments, or say disparaging things about one another to your family or friends, then there is no respect in that relationship. These are all features of an emotionally abusive relationship. Find someone who shows you the respect you deserve, and commit to treating him or her with respect as well.
Take a deep breath and don’t panic. There are a lot of reasons why your ex may not be calling you back or return your texts or messages. No situation is completely hopeless as long as you’re still willing to make the effort. You need to focus on your own behavior and avoid some of the common pitfalls often associated with breakup scenarios and make sure you’re doing what you need to do when you need to do it.
Last friday we had our last fight, and he broke up with me the morning after. He said that it was too much for him, that he was not cut out for this. And he added that he doesnt feel the same way as he used to, he is exhausted, he never has time to think about himself cause our communication problems and my anxiety are always in his head. He said he still loves me but that its not the same, its broken. And that he wont change his mind, even though a part of him wishes that we could work again in the future. We broke up over the phone but he invited me to his place after, and of course I came to try and reason with him. We had sex, and it was hard. But we didnt fight, and he insisted on being friends.
Talk to his friends. If you have mutual friends or if his friends would be willing to talk to you without telling your ex about it, consider asking them what they think the chances are that your ex would want to get back together with you. They are more likely than you to know if he has a new girlfriend or if he's dying to get back together with you.
Me and my girl been dating for almost 18 months. And I became depending and demanding which leads to posessive attitude. Starts acting jealous and shit. The last months before we broke up we had a huge fight. We yelled to each other, and she hits and kicks me like crazy and I lose my temper back then. I slap her cheek once (not in purpose) and I cried over her because I felt so wronged for doing that. Things seems to go well, but all of a sudden she blow up some litlle mess into a reason for broke me up. She oftenhy hide something for me. Even lied to me. But I don’t know, my heart still beats for her. I even saw still her posting pics on our date. Been 6 months since we broke up and she never respond to my text and calls. I tried to hold it, but last week we talked through text. And I begged her to come back. Remind her things we used to do. But the answer is “no, I can’t be with you anymore” “don’t bother me!” “Go find another girl, or either I will” . She’s an introvert. I always honest to her. Never mess with any other girl. And I’m the one who took her virginity. I feel responsible for that. I don’t want another man used her! Need to get her back. But none of no talking method works. I feel guilty when I text and begged her after months I gave her own space to cool down. :( I really love her man. Please help me. Desperately needed advice. Thanks a lot. -z-
It is okay to have suspicions. It is okay to have speculations. It is okay to have doubts. But it is also okay to confirm your speculations. I was initially in the place as I speak of but I was able to put my speculations to rest by contacting a freelance engineer (alphablakkhat at gmailcom) to do minor spy job for me. I was sad that I was susspecting my loving husband. I mean this man was actually standing up for me EVERYWHERE and on EVERY FRONT.
However, before we hit the ground running I feel it is important to mention a few things. The game plan outlined above is not set in stone. Every single relationship is unique and may require unique steps that I haven’t outlined. Knowing what to do can sometimes depend on your gut. So, if your gut is telling you that a particular tactic I have outlined won’t work for you I would definitely trust it. The main takeaway here is that you are going to have to get creative and sometimes even skip entire skips depending on how fast you are moving.
Some arguing is normal in a relationship. You may go through phases of fighting due to outside factors, which is also normal. The important thing is how you argue, how you deal with arguments after, how you heal together, and the way you communicate. The best way to avoid a fight getting out of control is to walk out of the room and not escalate the situation.
Hi Desireen. Nope…you are not crazy! You just want to figure out how to make things feel better for yourself and improve your chances. Its OK that you may have made some mistakes. He made plenty to. We all do. What matters is going forward and what you do. So its good to have an ex recovery plan, both for yourself and also doing things to optimize your chances of getting your ex back. My program is all about that. Go to my site’s home page to learn more about my ebooks, tools, resources, and many other things!
My boyfriend just broke up with me yesterday and trying to start my NC but he doesn’t stop snapchatting me. He did say that he wants to be friends and keep in touch with me. He broke up with me because he has too much going on and need to focus on himself. (at least that’s what he said) I don’t know what to do…. and we were in long distance relationship.
So remember, YOU control the amount of mate value that women perceive in you – meaning you DO have the power to get her back, AND to get girls more attractive than her, if you want them. This is why I created this website – to help you control (increase) your mate value and become the attractive man who can entice his ex back, regardless of your occupation, salary looks etc.