That time you did tequila shots and went skinny dipping. The amazing sangria you shared in Spain on your honeymoon. The first time your hands touched reaching for popcorn in the movie theater. Memories that make you smile and remember the good times – these are things worth holding onto, according to Russo. "Great memories are the glue that can hold a relationship together," she says. "When things are tough, people tend to look back on all of the good times with their partner and feel hopeful that they can get back to that happy place again." Russo says it's key to zone in on how loved you felt in the past. "Get inspired to work hard on the relationship to bring all of those good feelings back and make new memories."
My boyfriend broke up with me 6months ago..saying things like, I want I be on my own, go out with mates, we weren’t getting on anymore. Which I thought was bizarre because we would always joke around, we were together for 4&half years. Took him only 2 months to find a new girlfriend he seems to of forgotten all about me, I haven’t saw him in them 6 months nor contacted I would life to get back with him As he is my best friend. And I truly love him. Any help appreciated
Yes, I felt free in a way but totally sad ’cause I did wanna hang or talk or something, but he’s been a jerk for ignoring so long. I need to respect myself, but I want him back too. I haven’t blocked him from WhatsApp or Facebook, don’t plan to really, and I haven’t talked to him, but I really miss him. Should I just stand my ground and not reach out to him? I feel like this is the right thing to do and perhaps try to move on, but I love him. Thank you so much for your help and time, it means the world to me, well, to all of us.
Neglect is an awful word in relationships. So is taking your mate for granted.  It communicates a negative sentiment. If you want to save a failing relationship you cherish then you need to focus on the needs of your partner. It cannot be about you all the time. Listen to her music. Go to his sporting event. Show a genuine interest in the things that matter to her/him. Learn your partner’s love language and speak it.

I dont know what to write to him! NC is almost over and he has no social media so he has no idea what I’ve been doing. He also hasn’t contacted me which is okay. I’ve jotted down tons of ideas for my first email to him but I’m very scared. Hes always suspicious of people so I dont want to sound too needy or like I’m trying to use him. He might think if I’m messaging him a month later that I want to use him…hes stubborn as hell as well.

After a healthy and happy relationship for 10 months, he told me his ex wife wants to get back with him. I asked where does this leave me within this equation, he wouldn’t respond, So I asked him does he love me, he said no he does not love me and had never made empty promises nor used the word love! I broke it off and now it’s been 7 weeks without contact! I was hoping he would realise my absence and hold onto the good memories we had together. Will he contact me as I am following the no contact rule as you advise
My ex ended it just a couple of days ago, we were fighting over stupid things and we just struggled to compromise with each other. He says he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, but I miss and love him Sooo much! We used to have fights were we almost broke up but it was then fine, so I’m struggling with this because all the other times it was okay because we knew how much we loved each other. But the times we fought were mostly over text because we only got to see each other once or twice a week so, so much of our communication was over text. But when we were together it was perfect and we were so in love. I’m just struggling so much right now I just don’t know what to do. I know everyone keeps saying you just need time and then see how it is but it’s just soooo hard. all I want to do is talk to him! We have ended on good term atm cos we agreed to be friends. I don’t know if I should still have hope we could be together again or I should just move on!
I say all that to make the point that AS face-to-face is how getting a girl back generally happens, you’ll thus need to set up a meet with your ex during the course of your texting or calling sessions. You can’t skip directly TO that part, because you first need to build some positive vibes so that she actually WANTS to meet up when you ask her to, but inviting her to meet IS something that you’ll need to do once she’s enjoying the conversation.
The relationship is going really well in the beginning. You are seeing each other often and enjoy one another. You begin to prioritize him over other things going on in your life, like hobbies or nights out with friends. You tell yourself you are comfortable and don’t need to be “out there.” Everything is just the way you like it until … for some reason, you feel him pulling away.
He said that he didn’t think that we had enoughin common, which isn’t true because we would do so many old and new things together. When we broke up he said that he felt like we stopped being friends but then later saud the he was still my friend because we were really good friends. He also still wanted to hug and touch me and told me that he still wanted to do those things. None ofthis made any sense to me.
My ex and I were dating for 4 months. It wasn’t like any other relationship I have ever had! We were always having fun. He was a police officer that worked really long hours and on the night shift, I am an office manager who keeps daytime hours. As time progressed it grew harder to see one another but we still made time for one another. We never argued or fought really. Seriously everything went so smoothly, he was caring, and kind, and super sweet, and always went out of his way to show me that. Well when we first met, he told me he was in the process of buying a house, it was going to be about an hour away, well this made me uneasy but he was always reassuring me that we could make things work. Well one sunday afternoon before he was going to work i sent him a text to see what we were doing the next day, well his response was i don’t know i have yo close on my house tomorrow. Ummmmm wait a minute what house? His response was you knew I was buying a house. So i was loke leaving him alone at that point a few hours later, mind you he was at work, i text him i don’t think this is going to work you are nocturnal i am not we both work hard and its already difficult to see eachother and you live 15 mins away. anyways he told me he needed time to dedicate the conversation to. I said olay and goodnight and went to bed. I spent the next day pampering myself preparing for the worse, he texts me and acts like nothing had happened, i tell him we need to have a conversation, he said he needed time to sort things out, welll i pressured him and he agreed staying together would just be delaying the inevitable i cried he puked, i realized i had been overreacting and apologized and well he hasnt accepted my apology. I went on vacation a few days later and he watched my animals while i was gone, when i was away we kept minimal contact, relatively amicable, but when i got home i found a very expensive goft i had bought him months prior for his new house in the bottom of my laundry basket at this point i flipped out called him every name in the book and told him to get his coward ass to my house to drop off my keys. A day and a half later he showed up gave me my keys we say 3 or 4 words. I shut the door and lock itm i immediately apologize for my behavior but i told him i didn’t want him to see me upset. Now we don’t even speak. I am so hurt and distraught. I know we were together a short time, but i have been in 2 very long term relationships and i can tell you i have never felt the way i felt about him about any other person in my life. I don’t know what to do. I am so sorry, I apologized a milliom ways and he just doesn’t seem to care anymore. And he hasn’t tried once to contact me on his own in over 2.5 weeks.

Trying to work through marital problems can be a daunting process, and you might not even know where to start. Every marriage is unique, so figure out the specific issues at the heart of your conflict. In order to find solutions, you and your spouse will need to communicate openly and constructively. Try to stay positive, and avoid blaming, stonewalling, and launching personal attacks at each other. Rebuilding your bond will take time, so have patience. A marriage counselor can help mend the gap, so don't feel embarrassed about reaching out to a professional.
Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
A little bit about us..he has always felt i was too good for him, even though i never felt that way. His friends had even said i was too good for him and they didnt know what i saw in him. He used to think i was going to leave him as soon as i finished up this accelerated program I was in and got a job, because according to him i wouldn’t need him anymore. Which i didn’t do, because I got a job and was still fighting for our relationship. So when he said he needed more space i decided to leave the state and head home to spend time with my family for a month. During this time I was posting a lot on social media that I was having all this fun blah blah blah and making sure to look extra good in all my pictures, all so he would miss me. On all my stories he was always the first to look which made me think perfect he does still care. So, when i got back i reached out to see if he was ready and i told him how much i missed him too. It took him about 2 days to get back to me in which he said i cant do it thru text. I messaged back telling him how much i loved him blah blah and he said that i spiked his anxiety and to leave him alone. He said i never cared about him and i only ever loved him for the convenience of what he would do for me. And i was using him and he was just a butler to me. This broke me. So much. I cant even describe how Ive been feeling lately. Truth is, i think him seeing me have all that fun without him hurt him. I think he still does care. We have been a couple that has spent the majority of our relationship together or in close communication. He drunkenly called me the love of his life to his friends a few weeks before the fight happened. I haven’t been the best at talking about my feelings to him, it took me 7 months to even tell him i love him.
it has been difficult at times to accept the fact from him that his father would never be ready to accept our relationship. in other words, i am scared to fall apart without him. although i neglect the fact that i am not much attached to him. but all these words are utterly false whereas i am deeply in love with him and fail to imagine my life without him. Father,my lord,its true i have never longed for him and now the situation is when i don’t want to abandon him. i love him. i really love him and want to hold him closer to me for ever and ever after.
Hello Sergio, after I read your book I began working on myself and my life is changing quite a bit. There's a lot of positive news! I now know that I will succeed! I did a lot to help minimize the damage of my personal crisis and was able to help 2 friends who were in similar situations. One of my friends broke up with his girlfriend year ago, the other half year ago. I won't go into details about their girlfriends, but will say that the women have gotten my friends to a point where one started to drink heavily, and the other using drugs. Thankfully, I was able to help them! First of all, I wrote 3 “magic letters”, which worked like a magnet first on my girlfriend, and then on the girlfriends of my friends. I don’t know why it took 3 letters, but that’s the fact. The effect from these letters was like a nuclear bomb, or a knockout in boxing – our women still don’t know what hit them. We only changed the names of the girlfriends and some small details in the letters, but the effect was exactly the same on all of them!!! They were very surprised and interested in us again. They also corrected a lot of their negative behavior. I first tried this technique out on my girlfriend, then, helped one of my friends. The third didn’t want to believe that something so simple could work, but now he’s a true follower!
I was really anxious and worried at that point of time and I sensed something was wrong and I’ve kept telling him and saying I was wrong and I shouldn’t be so sensitive and paranoid, asking him questions everytime. He said he couldn’t see a future in us seeing that I’ll always ask him questions that made him uneasy everytime we meet. I reflected and thought back, I really shouldn’t be like this and I told him I’ll change on my end and all. But he seems determined to be really ending of this relationship with me.
Act like nothing is wrong. Even if your guts are tumbling like clothes in a washing machine, try not to let her know. She's probably not going to want you back if you're acting depressed, mopey, or sulky. Make sure you're laughing and genuinely trying to have a good time. You might find that you've become a happier person along the way. If you are feeling depressed, surround yourself with friends or family. Don't wait alone in a corner and just hope for her to come back to you.
Dear God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, grandma, grandpa, all the Angels and Saints and Archangels and anyone else I may have missed. Please help me with my relationship. We’ve been together a little over a year and both have young autistic children who are not getting along. We are trying to blend a family and keep moving forward in the right direction but lately have been stressed and fighting. My boyfriend is having a hard time and he’s closing up and giving up on us. Please pray for me and for the five of us. Please pray for my boyfriend. Help him have an open heart and mind and realize that we need each other and will overcome this. Please pray for him and anything he is going through that I do not know about. Please pray for our two little girls as well as the oldest. Please help them get along. Please help me and my jealous ways and help me to fight off all of my insecurities. Please pray for us tonight and everyday and to ward off anyone’s negative thoughts. Please in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Ive been seeing a woman we are both in our late 30’s for about 5 months, and got introduced with her young children and her parents a couple of times. Everything was great then her child had problems at school, the ex of 2 years ago and the father of the children got involved, then straight away after 20 odd texts a day cut down to 2 a day. I decided to turn up with some flower to show my support as knew something was wrong. She wasn’t home so went in her friends shop to see if they knew what time she would be back who then told her I was in the village, with that I received a txt saying is this true and why was I about and to go as she didn’t want me at the house when she returned. I went back to her friends shop to ask if they knew what was wrong and had they said anything about me being there as wanted it to be a surprise. Since then by txt it has got totally out of hand where the friends have said things and she has taken what Ive said wrong, now she wants me to leave her alone as she thinks its not normal turning up the way I did and she is scared I will turn up again which I has said I wont.
To begin the process, I recommend that you have what I call the Perfection Conversation with her. Essentially, you need to acknowledge to her that you are not perfect (in terms of how you’ve been behaving and treating her), but for the sake of your love, you are willing to continually make a serious effort to become a better man for her. In the same conversation, you also need to get her to acknowledge and realize that she is not perfect either. 

There was this guy I really liked and he liked me so he asked me out. We were together and it was all going really good…..One day we got in our first fight and he broke up with me and I never knew why. I’m trying to get back together with him. There is this guy and he flirts with me from time to time in front of my ex and he turns red and gets jealous I guess, but he never talks to me..But he stares at me. I try to get in contact with him and everything but he shows no interest to talk to me…..I’m just confused
My boyfriend of seven months broke up with me two days ago. We were really good together, we had a great complicity, friendship, we were always there for each other and like best friends. What went wrong is that I have important anxiety issues and i’ve let them get the best of me and take over our relationship. I have a lot of fears, of abandonment and such. We were constantly fighting because of this, and I believe he did his best to be patient and there for me. My anxieties were mostly caused by the fact that it took him a long time to be ready for a relationship in the beggining, plus he wasnt totally over his ex. He eventually got there but I never completely calmed down about this, until it was already too late.
We ran into each other randomly about five years later. I was stunned to see him (he was in my house of all places, someone brought him to a party there and he had no idea he’d be seeing me!). I could barely speak I was so nervous. We chatted for a bit, then he messaged me on Facebook a few days later and we talked for hours and hours, I was positive that this was the beginning of round two for us, but then he went dark again. A few more years went by and we ran into each other again. Once again I had soaring high hopes… and then was crushed again when nothing came of it (I found out later he had a girlfriend at the time).
I broke up with my gf for an extremely obvious reason – she didn’t love ME. Girls, please. I need true love, not a fakened up “story”. It was my first relationship, and I didn’t get a new girlfriend since then. We didn’t have any sexual contact either. But it was going on for 1.5 years. I loved her, but eventually she killed all my feelings towards her. I was trying to look sexy, to smell amazing, was extremely kind. Was probably the best she could deserve. Yet she didn’t understand it…now I just want to ask dear, dear girls – there are people like me who you never notice that are looking for a serious relationship. Please notice them and pay attention to how you behave with them…especially do you love your bf’s or not. Right now I see what a jerky girl she is, for lying to me and faking up so much stuff just to claim “oh look I have the best bf ever” but never loved me in real. Seriously care for what you do girls, please. I don’t want any more experiences like this bullcrap full of lies. Thanx in advance.
Very good article. My girlfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago, I said and did some bad things and she finally had enough and suddenly broke up, she just blocked me, that was her way of breaking up. So I panicked and texted her on the phone so many times until she texted me back and told me to stop contacting her and that she wanted nothing to do with me. I did absolutely everything wrong post break up, I was begging, being needy and looking depserate and she didn’t wanna listen or text me so I got angry by the end and wrote some bad things to her. I really regret it. I didn’t respect her. I only wanna get back with my ex but I feel like I really screwed up. Is there anything I can do to make her change her mind or make things better?
However, even Michael admits you shouldn’t just rush out and start texting your ex, “First of all, you should leave a 30 day gap before starting to use Text Your Ex Back (or any program for that matter.) Even if you’ve been broken up for a while, if you’re in contact with your ex, you should leave a full month where you don’t talk to him/her at all. From there it’s a matter of accumulating “little wins” with your ex.”The “little wins” Michael talks about are things like just getting your ex to respond and then having a conversation over text that YOU end first. From there’s it’s just a matter of following Michael’s proven formula and developing a new relationship with your ex over time.
My ex and I dated for 2 years and we broke up 2 months ago. Things were sweet at first ,we clicked in almost every thing,but things turned sour when we both started college…we were both stressed and impatient and eventually we broke into arguments and fights. I complained a lot and started to become unappreciative.Even after the break up, he was still kind to me… I knew the reason why we broke up and I’ve changed,Ive become a better person. (my family and MY EX told me, not my own opinion) but he still doesn’t want to get back together. He suddenly became rude to me and it has been 3 weeks since we last contacted each other. Im not hoping for him to come back anyone soon, but deep down I still love him. Should I even try to win him back again even though I know the consequences? Or just move on and get a new guy?

Please pray with me and help my handsome man let go of his anger and find the love for US, we once had.. Our struggles have been tearing us apart. I pray I can make the changes I need to, for him, myself and for us. My heart is broken knowing he’s so upset, and I’m unable to fix it right now. I feel I have become such a disappointment to him, and I just want him to know how much I love him and want our bond back, to feel close and to feel safe in each other’s arms again. I pray his anger can be replaced with love and happiness the way we are meant to be.
Enjoy hobbies together. Though tastes may change, you should make time to do something you used to love doing together. If you used to love cooking Chinese food together, try it again. If you once trained for a half marathon but are now feeling too out of shape, commit to the challenge. By committing to something you enjoyed doing before, you'll rekindle some of the old passion you felt. However, it doesn't just have to be something you used to enjoy together. You can also try something new.[34]
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”
Until recently , I contact him again hoping to win him back another time(for godsake I dunno why after all the scolding from him to me and disrespecting me).Thinking I have grow to be more confident.Sadly, I made the mistake again falling in the booty call. I regret so much. What should I do? I keep choosing him over and over again. Although he said he dont want my love .Yet I keep going back to him.
Don't try to save a relationship that's toxic or abusive. There's really no way to work on a relationship that's based on toxic patterns or abuse. No amount of working on communication techniques or trying to reignite the romance is going to make things better long-term. You may feel that you're getting something out of the relationship, but you have a lot more to gain by being free.
My boyfriend broke up with me last May 14. We were fine texting during that day. But when I suddenly become mad because of a little thing. He also got mad and broke up with me. He told me that our relationship is not working anymore and that we are always fighting. I begged him and told him if we can still fix our relationship. He then told me that he doesn’t want to fix it anymore and doesn’t want to be in my life anymore. The next day, I once again asked him if we can fix this but he said he doesn’t want to. I told him that maybe we should talk about it in person. We met after four days, we talked about our relationship. I asked him again if he still doesn’t want to fix it and he said yes. He also told me that he doesn’t love me anymore, though I don’t believe what he told me maybe Because I still can’t accept it. I cried in front of him and told him that I love him so much and I dont want to lose him. And He told me that he will still be my friend and he will never leave me as a friend. On that day, he told me that I can do whatever I want to do with him. We went to the mall, watch movies and had fun together as if nothing happened. The next day, he didn’t contact me or text me at all. Four days had passed and he suddenly texted me, he invited me to watch a movie with him and so I went. After that, we went to our respective homes. He texted me, how I’m doing though we had just seen each other that day. Because I was very curious of what does meeting up with him means. I asked him if going out and seeing a movie with him means its a date because I was expecting anything from it.He told me just friends and just invited me because he doesn’t have anyone to go with him. We stayed up late all night texting and told me that he was just checking up on me if I had already moved on because if not, he will still not contact me. He also invited me to go out again with him next week and accepted it. The next day, the day after we stayed late texting each other, he didnt contact me again or didnt even texted me at all. Because of that, I decided to text him and said that next week will be our last meeting because its hard for me to move on if I keep seeing or communicating with him. I also texted him that I need space after we meet up next week, I will stop any means if our communication and if he really doesnt want me in his life anymore, then I dont want him either. But, if he still wants me, I told him to make an effort. Is my decision right? I wanted to stop all means of communication with him eventhough I really want to get him back.
I’m hoping I can put a lot of these tips into good use. My ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago (we were together for 11 months). He broke up with me because I kept starting arguments about stupid things and he was tired of always fighting. The break-up really taught me that I need to change certain parts about myself for the better. However, as time goes by it’s more and more difficult for me to forget him. I’ve sent him a text about once a week since the break-up, and he answered them all. A week ago we were at the same party, and he confessed he still cares about me and loves me. The Monday that follows, however, he acts like he just wants to be friends. I did a stupid thing tonight and called him, though he didn’t answer. I’m worried that I look needy and clingy, when I know all he wants is space. I really want us to work, so hopefully I’ll finally start taking the proper steps. It’s just hard because whenever he does something that looks like a “sign”, I get ahead of myself and try and contact him. No more!

I so wanna do this nc thing but when i do say 2 days, he will text me little questions like “do you remember where i put my …” And i have never never ignored him at all. Yes he has signs of a narcissist. And he comes from a broken family. We worked at the same place and thats hard for me. You know people would talk and all. I have been laughed at for being the provider. From money to time to chauffeuring him. And that hurts because i did all that in the name of love. But he didn’t appreciate me. In fact he treats me like kids treating a mom. No calls the whole day, busy with everyone. Only finds me when he needs something. He cheats on me too.

Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.
Stop being jealous. Being jealous will get you nowhere. Jealousy is associated with fear and anxiety[3], two unattractive traits to have. Plus, what you're non-verbally telling her is that you want to control her. No one wants to be controlled. So learn to fight your jealousy if you can, and focus on being non-threatening. You'll get more bees with honey than you will with vinegar.

hi natasha! i’m glad i found this blog! i just broke up with my ex last night, he decided to leave me bc i often threatened him if he messed up n hurt me. he said a lot of bad things about me last night and i threatened him back and we agreed to made a silly and stupid agreement, that he will do EVERYTHING that i ask from him till the end of this year then i promised i’m the one who will dumb him and he agreed with that (because i threatened him of course). and if he mess up he will add 1 more month for me to stay with him. i feel confused now, i want to get back with him bc to be honest i was the one who always overreacted but at the same time i don’t think he wants me anymore, he really hates me. what should i do?? i decided not to contact him for the next few weeks but seriously i have no idea what should i do next.. ps: we are in a long distance relationship and before we broke up, he still listened to me when i told him to get home early from his friend’s place. he hates me but at the same time he always do what i say to him even if i didn’t threaten him. also his friends told him to leave me. please help me i need some advices from you! thanks a lot natasha!! xoxo
I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year, and she just broke up with me because she seems to care more about her friends than she does our relationship. she wont make time for me and ever sinse we split she refuses to talk to me. I’m heartbroken completely. because we used to be perfect. how do i get her to speak to me again even though she doesnt want to, i need her, please help! 

I do not understand why there are so many people online claiming they can get your ex back for you. My question is why would anybody want to have their ex back inspite of the breakup. Breakups happen for a reason. And ex’s are always troublemakers. Even if one does patch up, these relationship do not work. Better to start a new relationship then to try and repair and waste time on the troublesome old one. Why try and repair an old truck with no available spare parts.
You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.
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