Over the years I’ve found that there’s several lesser-known methods which work very well for speeding up the process of getting an ex back. Which of these methods you as an individual should use, in your specific circumstances, will depend on your quiz results from my chances of getting your ex back quiz. Please go take that quiz right now. The methods you’ll need to use to solve your own specific breakup, will then be revealed!
You can try and prove to your girlfriend how much you love her, but it will not lead you to the desired result. Such behavior will only widen the gap between you. A woman simply can’t return your feelings in such a situation, this is very subconscious for them. Their DNA is programmed differently than that of men, and women can have feelings for completely different things than men.
When things are rocky, having sex or performing acts that pleasure your partner are not always in the cards. But even if you're not in the mood at the moment, there's hope if you actually still want to connect intimately, according to Rachel Russo. She says wanting to have sex even when you are struggling with a relationship, shows that you are deeply bonded to your partner. "If it feels unnatural to withhold sex even when things are rocky, it can indicate that you are thinking about what is best for the relationship in the long term," says Russo. "If you don't want to deprive your marriage of the intimate connection, it is a sign that you really care about each other and want to make the marriage work."
No woman of any age wants to feel like they made their boyfriend unhappy. She’s okay with leaving because she’s unsatisfied, but she doesn’t want to feel that from you. She’s going to be shocked and everything she believed about you before the breakup will be turned on its head. She is going to start second-guessing a lot of things – and her decision to end the relationship is right at the top of the list.
First, your acquaintances will unfollow you and seeing the negativity, they won’t even want to go near you or introduce new people to you. Second, new friends will all know that you’re sad and don’t want to know you more or else they’ll get infected with your sadness. Third, for the friends who really care about you — you can just go the traditional way and meetup with them and cry your eyes out.
However, before we hit the ground running I feel it is important to mention a few things. The game plan outlined above is not set in stone. Every single relationship is unique and may require unique steps that I haven’t outlined. Knowing what to do can sometimes depend on your gut. So, if your gut is telling you that a particular tactic I have outlined won’t work for you I would definitely trust it. The main takeaway here is that you are going to have to get creative and sometimes even skip entire skips depending on how fast you are moving.
So, now that you know what changes you need to make physically lets talk about arguably the harder thing to improve, your mental state. One of the biggest assets about the no contact period is that it gives you time to calm down a bit from the mental tension that was your breakup. This section is going to be all about how to get through your breakup and heal emotionally. However, in order for that to happen you need to take a few actions first.
Send her a letter. Girls also love letters, because they take a lot of time and you have to express your feelings. Start off by saying something like: "I know this letter doesn't fix what's broken between us, and maybe it never will. But I want you to know that I care deeply about you, and I always will. That part has never changed. The part that's changed is that I realize how stupid I was to let you go."
I dated a amazing guy for two years and we broke up 7 years ago. I quickly married the wrong person and have filed for divorce. For years I felt like I owed my ex an apology but I was never in the position to do so (my husband was the insane jealous type), so a month ago I finally worked up the courage to call. It was amazing! We talked for hours and dissected how our relationship was doomed to fail based on our attitudes, and how young and inexperienced we were. Every shitty thing that was done is now a joke that we can laugh at, and we began texting/calling regularly for two weeks. He is on a indefinite break from a long-term girlfriend and I am in the process of divorce, and it seemed like we both just needed to be able to talk to each other and be totally candid about our past and present.
The point of these two questions is this: Start your self-help program with some general material first. Get a better overall perspective on marital relationships, understanding yourself, and understanding the opposite sex ( Understanding Men and Understanding Women will help). Then adapt this information to your situation. You may find that your specific problem disappears on its own as you discover and work on more fundamental issues. If not, you are at least better prepared to work with more targeted "save my marriage" kind of information.
In an effort to resuscitate an already dysfunctional relationship, women will frequently make the fatal error of bluffing. Your girlfriend will repeatedly threaten to break up with you in order to scare you into changing (for the record I wholeheartedly disagree with this method, but that discussion is for another article), hoping you will prove your love by doing anything to make her happy. It never works, and you rarely take her threats seriously. So you break up.
Through marital or couple therapy, the counsellor can help the couple increase effective communication skills, assist in looking at each other’s perspective, discuss what makes a relationship work and what a healthy relationship looks like, help identify specific problems and dynamics of the relationship, understand gridlocked conflicts, and help establish interventions and strategies that will help strengthen conflict management skills.
Now, I know that is easier said than done. Accepting “what is” requires putting down your judgments and assessment of things as good or bad. And, that can be extremely difficult to do especially when society has trained us from birth to call certain things good, righteous, and desirable and other things bad, wrong, or detestable – and has also taught us that being in a romantic relationship is the most noteworthy human accomplishment.
So me and my ex fiance are no talking terms right now.. she left me a month ago and still wears the necklace I bought her and she wont give me the ring back because she says I bought it for her so its hers. I dont like to feel weak but I want her back and its super hard to not see or talk to her. She says im scum to her but then again she still has pictures of me and notes I sent her. Im at a loss right now what should I do to get her back
Dated my girl for 6 years and left her to go become a dive instructor on a island. I was gone 2 years but Came back 3 times and instantly back in the sack. I would crew boats back to the states and find a excuse to see her. Last time was normal I came by and we took a couple weekend trips and had sex and exchanged I love yous. Now 3 weeks went by and I came back down to start our relationship back up and within 10 minutes of her picking me up from the airport she tells me she’s seeing someone. I played it cool and when we got back to our old condo she told me I’d have to sleep in the guest room. Still played it cool. A little griping and OK good night. Played it cool for two days and told her I was back to get back together. Trying to explain you told me you loved me three weeks ago and didn’t want me to leave now I can’t sleep in the same room. I’ve been nice and not making myself look needy or desperate and got some nice smiles and laughs. Now tonight I sit to talk after she got home from work and she’s really resisting. Not cold but I tried to get I love you out of her and can’t. Fucking three weeks come on. Still sleeping on the guest bed tonight. I’m here for the rest of the week then going back up near Chi. to do a job for some cash I then wanted to move back in with her. She’s telling me to go up and see how I feel about her after the two month job. But I think she is just trying to make the rest of the week more bearable My birthday is in a couple days and part of the reason I came here was to spent it with her. thought that would give me a nice advantage if anything did go weird. It’s not working. starting to feel really bummed and discouraged. She’s been saying she’s working late and starting to think she’s going to see the boyfriend after work. When she told me she was seeing someone she told me he was out of town this week and would be back this weekend. I can’t believe that this girl I loved so much for so many years would welcome me back three weeks ago but wont now or return a I love you.
Dude… be chill. I overreacted at first too but it was more so because there is a child involved. Mine left just a few days ago as well. The first day she texted me back a few times but then she either changed her number or just let her minutes run out (prepaid). But after looking through some of these sites… I took their advice. Start working out…. like wayyy harder than you normally do. Get the testosterone and endorphins flowing. It will take your mind off shit. It’s amazing how much similar your story is to mine. We had just talked about marriage a few weeks ago. I am going to give it about another week or so and see what happens. It’s amazing how much a little time away will make things much more manageable with your emotions. It will be hard to make that first leap to contacting her but just be subtle with it. Don’t go all Rambo gotta come back now guy. Just be polite and reasonable. Don’t have any thing set that should happen. Read her. If she is accepting to it… go on with your bad self. If not… say something chill… like “well… I just want you to know that I had fun while it lasted. Take care and I’ll see you around.” And walk the fuk away.
Hi Natasha! You’re awesome! My boyfriend broke up with me, and I’m feeling terrible… my question is, my bf was not a narcissist.. I made mistakes and I started to pushing him because he lived with his mother, he is 39… and I’m 31 and I didn’t felt his priority, we had plans to get married, I’m applying no contact since he broke up with me, I didn’t begged him and I was calm, that was almost a month ago and he hasn’t reach me…. do you think that this works for a man who is not a narcissist? He is not a bad guy.
Impossible as it may seem, I have created techniques which transform relationships… even when only one person is trying! My typical client is a spouse that wants to save their relationship when their partner has already “given up.”Most therapists work from the assumption that, if only one person wanted to work on the relationship, it was impossible to fix. I don’t approach marriage crises this way. I approach them like an algebra equation. If one side of the equation is changed, the other side must change! Incredibly, my clients have achieved an 89.7% success rate. . . even if only one spouse starts the process! (Findings based on surveys. Individual results can vary.)
My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago because he didn’t want commitment and he didn’t like the distance (Im about an hour and a half away for school) I came home every single weekend to hang out with him even if it was only for a couple hours but apparently he just couldn’t handle that anymore.. We would have been dating a year on Feb 27th. He said that he’s been doubting things for a while but couldn’t tell me right away. He said a relationship isn’t for him and he just needs to do his own thing right now. Also he said he’s not in love but he loves me in the sense he’d do anything for me which makes no sense? He bought me a together forever charm for my bracelet and said all these really sweet things that I just can’t get out of my head. The day after we broke up he already hung out with a girl and he’s trying to get with girls so much younger than him since everyone is away at college and he decided to take a year off. Im done school in 2 months so I guess i’m just wondering if he’ll come back? I can’t picture him just leaving me completely we’ve known each other for so long and had the best times when we were together. I think he just needs time to think and do his own thing for a bit until im home a lot more often. Please, does anyone have any thoughts? It would help a lot! Thanks <3
First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. Let’s say you and I were dating and we had a fight and broke up (I know I am a horrible boyfriend 😉 .) Anyways, after a month of you basically freezing me out (no contact) I happen to bump into you at a Starbucks or somewhere where we both frequented. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself and ate ice cream on the couch all day I will probably think “she looks terrible.” However, if you spent that no contact time working on yourself physically and mentally I am probably going to think “WOW! She is even more beautiful than I remember.”
My girl broke up with me a few days ago said she can’t trust me, we don’t spend a lot of time together, my fault really, I miss her so much but she said she wants to forget about me, which she said is very hard, she got some bad advice from her friend and me working late doesn’t help, sooooo she feels like I’ll cheat on her we had talked bout marriage but never made any real decisions, right now she doesn’t wanna know about me, what should I do? Any suggestions?
Develop a playful sense of humor. What do girls say they look for most in guys? A sense of humor and a playful attitude These two traits are attractive because they tell other people that we're youthful and not aggressive. So learn a few jokes if you can (friends are always good to try them out on) and keep the ones that work and throw away the ones that don't. Learn to make fun of yourself a little, in a confident way — not a mopey way. And, for goodness sake, be playful, especially when you're around her. Tease her lovingly, or play a small prank on a friend. You'll notice the difference in her.
Listen, sure, finding some new dude may be okay for you as a bandade, but it won't help you get your ex-boyfriend back. You should make him jealous in a smarter way. Like, he should see that there are guys mingling around you, but don't let him see that you've actually found someone. Don't post stupid, drunken-party pictures on Facebook of you making out with some random dude.
My boyfriend broke up with me 6months ago..saying things like, I want I be on my own, go out with mates, we weren’t getting on anymore. Which I thought was bizarre because we would always joke around, we were together for 4&half years. Took him only 2 months to find a new girlfriend he seems to of forgotten all about me, I haven’t saw him in them 6 months nor contacted I would life to get back with him As he is my best friend. And I truly love him. Any help appreciated
Studies have shown that 90% of rebound relationships don’t work out in the long run so the odds are probably in your favor. There is no reason to start harassing him or the girl he is dating. Under no circumstances will you contact him. In fact, DO NOT CONTACT HIM OR HER. The further away from the breakup your ex gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. This means he will forget the bad times and remember the good times.
Legs it (sorry). I need To be best fiends with you to advise me in life ? Good luck ladies it’s hard out there as we’re doing it alone and continuing the human race while we’re at it. My only advice is keep your cards close to your chest and always be the one who he’s living for not like me as I seem to pick the big egos & their ego rules their life! Once your vulnerable your finished!
If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
Following this advice helped me save my relationship. At the start I the break up I was messaging him a lot and begging to get back together. I looked stupid. After reading this I tried the no contact rule and focused on bettering myself and finding distractions when I felt the urge to talk to him. Just pretending to move on helped me feel a lot better about myself. We were later forced to work together and I kept my head up ignored him the best I could besides work relations and showed him that I can move on. Shortly after that he broke down to me about missing me and doing anything to have me back.
Your first instinct is an urge to lean forward and do whatever you can to keep your man from slipping away. And I’m going to tell you that you need to let him go, as horrible as this sounds. You need to let him go, because if he is the right man for you, you can get your boyfriend back with the three steps I’m about to go into. If he’s NOT the right man for you, then here’s the news you will appreciate down the road when you DO meet Mr. Right – he did you a favor by going away, and you learned something incredibly valuable in the process. So here are my three steps on how to get your boyfriend back:
please help me out. my ex broke up with with because she said she was tired of the relationship. i met another lady and we are dating. My ex girl who was in the states has now come back to the country and wants us to trash our differences and make up. but am in another relationship and i love this new girl. However, seeing my ex girl again brought back memories and the love i had for her but scared she will be stubborn again. i dont know who should i continue my life with since my current girl has done nothing to me and also loves me