I was with my ex gf for about a year and no lie, she is the only girl i have ever really felt happy with. Well anyways, i feel that its my fault because i decided to take a brake with the relationship. Now she has a boyfriend who she has been with for 2-3 years. She and I still talk and hang out every now and then (her boyfriend doesnt know she hangs out with me nor does he know who i am), but it feels wrong to me. I know she has a boyfriend so i respect her and keep my hands to myself. She tells me things like “even thoughi have a boyfriend, you were still the best boyfriend i ever had”, or “sometimes i wish you never broke up with me”. I am currently going to college and she had just graduated high school (we are both 18). Her boyfriend doesnt go to school and does not have a job, so i asked her why she has a boyfriend that isn’t doing anything with his life and she said, “because i love him”, that left me speechless. I know he doesnt deserve her because he always argues and cusses at her, doesnt trust her (what is a relationship without trust?), he keeps her on check (where are you at? Who are you with? What are to doing?). I have never cussed at her, yes we argued sometimes but got over them easily. I listen to what she has to say and I’m there for her when she needs it. It hurts everytime she talks about him and even when she talks to him on the phone in front of me (he doesnt know that i am with her) and tells him “i love you” right before they hang up. I miss her so much and wish that she and I can continue our relationship. I can’t be “just friends”because I’ve known her as my lover and nothing less. I really dont know what to do, but what i don’t want is to have to move on. Pleeeaaassse help me out.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about five years. In December we got into an argument because I thought he was ignoring my plans I had with my family. We normally see family together during the holidays so I expected him to be on point. Anyway, I was about to leave and asked him what’s on his agenda and he just ignored me. I got mad and cursed him out and left. Days after I text to find out why he was ignoring me and he did not reply. Some time passed and he then said we need some space because I constantly curse him out and he is tired of it. He said that I am jealous and insecure which is a recurring theme in our arguments. Weeks passed and we just cordial over the phone. I tried not to be clingy because he said that we have to learn to be friends and give each other space in order to try and repair the relationship. He visited me in January and we talked somewhat and ended up sleeping together. We were cordial for a couple days and he kept saying how much he loves me and wants to have a family with me. I then asked if that means that we are back together and he said we never broke up but we still need space. Some time passed and we kept sending each other messages and stuff. I really missed him and asked when are we going to be out of this phase and he said as long as it takes for me to fix my ways. I told him that he has things to work on too. He said he knows he is not perfect but we keep fighting over the same things and he is tired of it. Recently he came to see me and brought an unexpected gift. I thought he was going to stay but he did not. I wanted him so badly that I slept with him. A few days after I asked about seeing him for Valentines Day and he said “why did we break up again?” I said “You said we were not broken up” He said that we still need space. I said I was confused because he keeps sending me messages about missing me and wanting to be with me and we are intimate but yet we are “just friends for now”. Mind you, when we text it is not about anything sexual. If he sees where a conversation is headed that way he stops it. Now we got into a huge fight over the phone because I said I do not know what he wants from me and I am fed up of waiting. He said talking to me is pointless because I do not get where he is coming from. I told him that he does not get where I am coming from either and I will just leave him alone. He said that he does not give a f#$% and that I should do what I want to because he is not getting through to me. I try to understand him honestly I do but I do not think he sees it. I love him with all my heart but I fear this is it for us. Sigh. Any advice?
Unfortunately, if he really wants to leave, there's nothing you can do to stop it. Even if you still love him deeply and want to continue, if he doesn't, it doesn't continue. However, you do have a right to get clarity from him. Try to agree to something that suits you both. Instead of moving out, consider sleeping in separate beds for a while, or agree to only talk about these matters on Thursdays, giving the two of you guaranteed peace of mind all the other days.
NOTE: YOUR mate value/perceived superiority is as high as your behavior makes it, and is only partially related to your job, income, looks etc. This is why no guy reading this has any excuse for not being able to become the kind of guy his ex wants for a relationship. You CAN become that guy (again), and I’m happy to teach you how. Begin the process with my chances of getting your ex back quiz. Your results page will then guide you further from there on what to do to get this girl back.
So what do you do when you wrote her a letter and left it one her doorstep, and she emailed you that same afternoon threatening with calling the police if you ever showed up anywhere near her property again, and then asks you what part of I never want to see or hear from you again dont you get! I really want this girl back. Its been 9 months and every goddam day still hurts!!
Posting here for sanity. I was moving on and got to a good place and just like herpes he came back. Gave me the line that he has had a really bad week, he wants to talk to me. I ate up that breadcrumb up like my life depended on it. Back to checking up on him on FB, back to checking my email 36376799x a day. Now haven’t heard from him again, but he has time to like sexual garbage on FB and be on FB all.the.time. Pretty sure he is chatting up others, but why do I flipping care? how many more red flags do I need? Moving on….again.
Joe Dillon, MBA is a professional divorce mediator and founder of Equitable Mediation Services. Joe is passionate about helping couples avoid the destruction of attorney-driven litigation and knows first-hand that the right information, combined with the right expertise and the right kind of support can make the challenging process of divorce less expensive, less time-consuming and less stressful for divorcing couples and their families.
st. jude i pray that i want a better relationship with my boyfriend rudy open his heart and his eyes and let him see that i really do love him, care for him keep him away from his ex yvette that she doesn’t come between our relationship let him realize that am the woman of his dreams n that i will make him happy n love him forever help him be abetter man for me and my daughter , san jude i really love him please help me change him into a good person and that he just have eyes for me …..amen in the one of the father and son and hoy spirt amen
I have a problem likes it… My boyfriend and I were together for 1 year and half. in fact from 6 months age our relationship became so complicated and it was my fault! last week he told me that he wants to be just friend…since next week he gonna go to another country, where he studies, and he won’t come back till 3 months I’m really confused about what should I do! :| So if you find any efficient way…tell me plZ!
Spending time apart and giving your ex-girlfriend space is an important step in the how to win an ex back process. After a breakup, it’s clear that your ex’s feelings for you have gone stale, such that ANYTHING you do other than give her some time and space (even things that ACTUALLY WILL WORK to get her back later on!), would have a negative impact AT this early stage.
My honest advice is to focus on you. What were your goals before her? Reach them. Find new ones if you need to. Dont go looking for her or any other woman. If she remembers she loves you or that she likes you even, she will talk to you if she decides to. If not, some other woman will someday. Just put yourself in social situations when your ready. If you want to spend the rest of your life sad bexause you lost her, than go ahead. Its your life. Fact is, we men are the commited ones. We decide and we stick to it but we unfortunately dont see the womans needs. We often think they are too needy or dramatic and dont see that whats minor to us is major to them. Every woman has her breaking point. If you dont change but keep promising to, she will reach it. I’ve been in love twice and the first time lasted less than 10 months because she never really loved me. This one almost ten years because she loved me deeply. I sometimes think I would have better odds of getting back the one who never loved me.
If you want to save your failing relationship then open these three things: your eyes, your ears, and your heart. Active listening involves all three. Eyes have to do with giving your mate your full attention. Look them in the eyes in a conversation. Listen without interrupting. Avoid using terms like, “Yes, but…” Listening with your heart is showing empathy to your partner. It communicates that you care.
Well we broke up just 8 days ago.. actually he broke up with me anyway when i ask him to reason he said “I think it’s not gonna work. I always leave you alone and I know you have suffer about so I don’t wanna make you upset anymore” (for me it’s a stupid reason) normally he is an introverted person who doesn’t like to share his past and whatever happens he keeps smile that’s why I wanna be with him all the time. He got jealous when I changed my profile picture (I was with my friend) so he kept asking me that who is that person after we broke up. He also told me that “I can’t imagine my life without you in it” so he made me confused. I’m still inlove with him and I feel that he is still love me but Idk what should I do? T.T
The common thread that underlies these seven deadly sins is neediness. Neediness is the state of mind that encourages all the above actions. Believing that your ex is the source of your happiness, sense of well-being and/or self-esteem, is the type of thinking that will have you groveling and begging for your ex. Neediness is a state of mind more than a set of behaviors, it just manifests itself in certain actions. It’s a feeling that says: “I need you to respond to me in a certain way in order to feel OK.” (Make sure to read this article for more on neediness and how to prevent it.)
I am devastated and lost. My ex and I met freshman year of college. He was always so into me more than I was into him. He was absolutely in love with me, I was his life line. He was so serious in seeing me as his life partner, his future and everything. He made it known that if we were ever to end it would be because I ended it, not him. I see where things got unhealthy–he always wanted to spend time with me mostly and we did spend all of our time together. This school semester he became more busy with schoolwork and practice, and we clearly spent less time together. Our lives became more routine together, because he still lived in my dorm and we got every meal together. We started having more problems because I was not the happiest with him. I would call him out on things he did that showed less interest in me because I was upset we were not spending as much time together. In addition, he became very hurt when he did not get into a social club on campus, because he suddenly felt like he had no friends and was not cool. One day while fighting, he decided he wanted to break up. This is the person who absolutely swore to never do such a thing, and even though in the past we were in positions where this could have occurred, we never actually ended things–we worked through them. When i reflect i seee that he believed all of a sudden we were spending too much time together, made too many controls together, and that he was missing social opportunities. However, this is the hole he made for himself because he wanted us together and did not care for others. I believe that the rejection from the club and him being annoyed with my behavior led him to believe he is no longer in love with me. He says he loves me more than anything, but does not feel the same way. I convinced him to try to feel emotions for me again, so the past month we continued the meals and living togetehr, but he would never kiss me on the lips and became distant. Then finally he broke up with me and said that he just wants to be single and is not in a place for a relationship right now. How do I handle this? I want him back, and I want everything we had back. He said he wants to be bestfriends, but I said no I cannot and that I want no communication, but we have not exactly had no communication because he texted me today a week later asking if I could help him financially and that he will give the money back as soon as he can (I told him to ask others first because this is disrespectful and then i would if otehrs couldnt, because he said he doesnt know who else to go to). I assumed he would come back to me, and it would show him that he needs me, but he says he found someone else to help him. How do I get him back? We have one class together a week.
My ex bf and I live together. He said he will never change his mind. He says he is moving out. I have no proof. He hasn’t told his family we are broken up, for over a month now. He got on tinder immediately and is now off tinder. He is posting videos from a vacation of our from almost a year ago. I am living my life and going out trying to be social. How can I get him back?
please heal my relationship.. I love my boyfriend with all my heart but unfortunately our relationship is falling apart. He no longer feels attracted to me. he doesn’t show respect towards me. We were so good together but now everything is falling apart please help me get his love back make him love me more than ever make our relationship stronger and fix the distance between us.
Ive been seeing a woman we are both in our late 30’s for about 5 months, and got introduced with her young children and her parents a couple of times. Everything was great then her child had problems at school, the ex of 2 years ago and the father of the children got involved, then straight away after 20 odd texts a day cut down to 2 a day. I decided to turn up with some flower to show my support as knew something was wrong. She wasn’t home so went in her friends shop to see if they knew what time she would be back who then told her I was in the village, with that I received a txt saying is this true and why was I about and to go as she didn’t want me at the house when she returned. I went back to her friends shop to ask if they knew what was wrong and had they said anything about me being there as wanted it to be a surprise. Since then by txt it has got totally out of hand where the friends have said things and she has taken what Ive said wrong, now she wants me to leave her alone as she thinks its not normal turning up the way I did and she is scared I will turn up again which I has said I wont.