When negative things happen, avoid being critical or contemptuous. Don’t say things that begin with “You never…,” “You always…,” or (my favorite) “You’re such a…” Calmly explain why you see the situation, not the spouse, as negative, and why it upsets you. In the ensuing conversation don’t get defensive, but don’t refuse to talk, either. Inject a little positivity into the conversation or argument. For example, try a little humor to lighten up the situation a bit, if you think your spouse would be receptive. If the humor backfires, simply be honest and explain that you want to diffuse the tension and you really don’t want to fight. 

For that reason you should look to keep your texts fun, light and positive. Leave the heavy stuff (mentions of the breakup and getting back together) for later on. You shouldn’t be mentioning those things in your texts because BEFORE those topics can be mentioned, you first need time to change how she feels about you. Only once her feelings about you are more positive, will you then be able to see good results from discussing the breakup and the potential of getting back together. Why?
Ive been seeing a woman we are both in our late 30’s for about 5 months, and got introduced with her young children and her parents a couple of times. Everything was great then her child had problems at school, the ex of 2 years ago and the father of the children got involved, then straight away after 20 odd texts a day cut down to 2 a day. I decided to turn up with some flower to show my support as knew something was wrong. She wasn’t home so went in her friends shop to see if they knew what time she would be back who then told her I was in the village, with that I received a txt saying is this true and why was I about and to go as she didn’t want me at the house when she returned. I went back to her friends shop to ask if they knew what was wrong and had they said anything about me being there as wanted it to be a surprise. Since then by txt it has got totally out of hand where the friends have said things and she has taken what Ive said wrong, now she wants me to leave her alone as she thinks its not normal turning up the way I did and she is scared I will turn up again which I has said I wont. 

Let her see you having a great time. Once you've given her some space and have worked on self-improvement, she'll be much closer to wanting you. But now you have to put all the pieces together and let her see what an amazing guy you are and how much fun it is to be around you. Be strategic. Without looking like a stalker, make sure you're hanging out in some of the same places so she can see what a blast it is to be around you.
Today, I’ve got the usual habit to clear his Hotmail inbox and I realized that he’d booked two tickets to a horror late night movie yesterday. And at this point of time, I might have guess that he’s watching it with the girl whom he previously had dinner with. Somehow, I felt that he might have taken a slight interest in this girl colleague and have decided to move on and try out dating the new girl since he’s so firm with his decision on ending off the relationship with me and see no future in us after all that we’ve been through and in such a short period of time?
One of the most devastating mistakes you can make is trying to force it to work with a guy who is wrong with you. I’ve seen people spend years of their life trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. Everyone in their life tells them to just move on and let him go but they can’t. Why? Because they don’t have clarity or any objectivity because they are still sucked into the emotional whirlpool and have yet to break themselves free.
Hi. my boy friend and I had fight on friday. we are living together and since then he comes home late night and dont eat here .we used to eat at home before even i cooked but he didnt eat last night seems he had outside.we always fight for same topic and I am sensitive about the care he shows for some people but he says he cant ignore it and i feel bad and show reaction always. i am going mad now since he is nt talking and seems he doesnt love me anymore.though it was my fault argued with him i tried to go close to him but seems he isnt accepting. i dont know what i have to do.i love him though its difficult for me accepting he cares about some other people.i dont know understand the reason. I dont know what i have to do now. shall i leave or stay? i want him back but i feel he wants to finish with me :( some one helps me :((
You have the attraction back by this point already from the previous steps, so most of what you need to do now is just get out of your own way, and let the getting-back-together process happen on its own. In other words, you need to know what mistakes to AVOID, to prevent yourself from sabotaging the getting-back-together process, which is supposed to happen fairly naturally after the first 7 steps.
Me and my boyfriend had been together 4 4months,the thing is that we stay in different countries we had this thing that disturbed our relationship were he is accusing me of cheating but I wasn’t he said guys call me a lot n I don’t tell them 2 back off, so since he travelled back it has Been one problem 2 another teLling how he hate me and he needs space I will beg him and we will come back again but few days ago he told me he needed space 4 now that my love is affecting his life and work that I should move on with my life I still love him and don’t know how 2 apply these rules since we are not close 2 each other and he said he will be back by septemeber help me 2 make this work what do u advice me 2 do thanks

If you think that by being friends with your ex, you can stay in their lives and hopefully get back together again, you are just plain wrong. By being friends you are not giving yourself and your ex enough time and space to heal. Not to mention, you will probably end up getting friendzoned by your ex. You could end up listening to your ex complaining about their new lovers (cue : Ex-girlfriends)  or they might propose being friends with benefits (cue: Ex-boyfriends).
We had a misunderstanding,i told him leave me alone,why yu making me regretin y i chose yu instead of my ex…this was so bad bt it happened was too emotional.the nxt mornin i called him apologising en telling him he was the one i love…..he said its okay bt im now insecure,the words you told me are too mch so i nid sme space to forget ren evaluate our relationship…that was end of november,i kept kalling him,txting,etc until he said he forgave me that was end of dec,surprisingly he txted i dnt c the reason of dating someone who thinks of their ex of wc i sid emotionaly..i jus said ok,take your time love you.that was it,ts nw a week without tokin..i love him so mch i wsh he cud understand i didnt mean t..bt he cnt forgive me.wat can i do.we have been dating for 5months en we were the best.i miss him
We explained earlier how keeping your emotions in check is critical to making this period of no contact work. I know how easy it is to backslide and fall into our familiar patterns. This isn’t just the case with relationships either. Just think about how it normally goes for you when you’re starting anything new: a new low-carb diet, a new bedtime, mediation, a new workout routine, etc.
I tried everything imaginable to recover my relationship with my ex. He has a substance problem which I was unaware of for a long time. When I finally discovered it I was naive enough to think his promises of trying to quit would work. The worst part was his interfering guy “friends” who did not want me to break up the party. He is middle aged and so am I. I tried to be tolerant as we had many great times and we compatible in many ways. I do believe this man loved me and I thought we might get married (neither of us had ever been married).
MY NAME IS ROLAND KATE REGINA FROM DUBAI, MY MAN OF FOUR YEARS START CHEATING ON ME HE DON'T USE TO CALL ME, HE ALWAYS GOING OUT WITH OTHER GIRLS ANY TIME I CALLED HIM HE BOUNCE MY CALLS. I WAS SO WORRIED BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND WE ALREADY PLANS FOR MARRIAGE AND I TRIED ALL I CAN TO MAKE SURE THAT HE COME TO HIS NORMAL SENSES BUT NOTHING WORKED OUT. THINGS WHERE GETTING BAD, I WAITED FOR YEAR FOR HIM TO CHANGE AND PROPOSE MARRIAGE BUT HE DID NOT PROPOSE MARRIAGE TO ME, WHEN IT BECAME UNBEARABLE FOR ME I TOLD A FRIEND WHO TOLD ME TO CONTACT DR EMUA. THAT HE CAN HELP ME IN THIS SITUATION, AND I WAS A GIRL WHO DOSE NOT BELIEVE ON SPELL, SO THE LAST TIME I CALLED MY MAN HE PICKED MY CALL, ALL I COULD HEAR FROM HIM IS TO TELL ME THAT HE HAS GOT ANOTHER GIRL IN SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP I WAS SO CONFUSE AND I CALLED MY FRIEND (TRACY) AND TOLD HER WHAT I JUST HAD FROM MY MAN. SHE STILL REMIND ME OF DR EMUA, THAT HE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN HELP ME SOLVED MY PROBLEM BY BRINGING MY MAN BACK TO ME. SO THERE WAS NO OPTION FOR ME I TOLD HER TO SEND ME HIS EMAIL. THAT WAS HOW I CONTACT DR EMUA FOR HELP. DR EMUA ONLY TOLD ME THAT MY MAN WILL COME BACK IN FEW DAYS TIME AFTER CASTING THE SPELL HE TOLD ME MY MAN IS COMING TO ME IN-LESS THAN FIVE DAYS TIME . AFTER TWO DAYS THE NEXT MORNING MAKING IT THIRD DAYS MY MAN TRULY CAME BACK TO ME AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS, AND I ACCEPT ALL HIS APOLOGIES BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AFTER FIVE WEEKS WE GOT MARRIED, WE ARE NOW LIVING TOGETHER . I THANK DR EMUA FOR ALL HE HAS DONE IN My LIFE GOD WILL CONTINUOUSLY GIVE HIM THE POWER TO KEEP HELPING PEOPLE. YOU CAN ALSO CONTACT HIM FOR HELP VIA HIS EMAILS DREMUAHELPHOME@OUTLOOK.COM OR DREMUAHELPHOME@GMAIL.COM OR CALL HIM +2347063628174, TRY HIM AND SEE WHAT AM SAYING
We’ve hooked up twice now and it’s been amazing, but I find that I dont want a relationship yet I want him all to myself. I dont have time for a conventional relationship, but I dont want to miss out on a relationship with him down the line. He says he doesnt want a relationship either, and I dont know whether he feels anything more for me but I find it very confusing. I realized I liked him more than a friend when I began anticipating his replies to texts and getting anxious when he takes too long to reply.
Until recently , I contact him again hoping to win him back another time(for godsake I dunno why after all the scolding from him to me and disrespecting me).Thinking I have grow to be more confident.Sadly, I made the mistake again falling in the booty call. I regret so much. What should I do? I keep choosing him over and over again. Although he said he dont want my love .Yet I keep going back to him.

When I was a medical student I was walking along Third Ave one evening and stopped to argue with a friend of mine, at the same time leaning against a doorway, which suddenly swung in precipitating me down a couple of steps into a weird hallway. Odd decorations were hanging all along the wall, evidently for sale. I only remember a used toilet seat which had a price on it of thirty dollars, quite a lot of money back then. Anyway, this place turned out to be some sort of shop, although there was no sign anywhere. The proprietor was a fat, unkempt woman who had a cigarette dangling from her mouth. She took one look at me and said that what I needed was a "love potion." I needed something, I knew, so I ordered the love potion, which was not as expensive as the toilet seat-- but cost too much, I told her. She got mad and muttering took the potion back.
I have not contacted him for almost 9 months. I would like to send him a Christmas card; should I? He is seeing someone. (she is married and left her husband to be with him.) He had told me that is why he did not want to have a relationship with me; because of timing, his seven year friendship which is now a relationship with her. Advise please? I feel he still thinks of me. I could be wrong.
St. Jude I ask that you find it in your heart to pray for me and my boyfriends relationship. I ask that you take away any temptation my boyfriend may have or remove any other individual that will come between our relationship. Help him to be aware of how much I care and love him. I ask that you help our relationship be strong, loving, honest, and respectful. In the name of the father the son and the holy spirit. AMEN –
About 3 months ago, me and my ex boyfriend split up. We had been talking to eachother for about 2 weeks, started ‘seeing eachother’ for a week, then were in a relationship…for a week. -.- Things were going great, I’d go round his occasionally, we both knew the meanings of having our own space as we’ve both had relationships with space issues, but after him saying he saw us going really far, he suddenly ended it. To this day I still don’t fully understand why. We still talk, but most of it has been biting eachothers heads off. During that time, we never had sex. We did sexual things, but we never did the deal. (Glad I didn’t) But since we broke it off he’s said he wants to do that with me but doesn’t want a relationship. Stupid thing is, I’m still crazy about him. I’m the kind of person who falls in love too hard and to quickly. Last night he gave me a phone call saying how sorry he was for the way he treated me and he wanted to try things again. After finding out he had been drinking last night makes me wonder if he’s telling the truth or not. I’m supposed to be meeting him tomorrow to talk about things, so I’m going to try these steps. I need him back. I haven’t been the girl I usually am since we broke up. Everyone knows me as the loud and energetic nut. I’m the exact opposite at the moment. Fingers crossed!!

First, let’s make one thing clear: just because your partner is exhibiting a couple of the behaviours that I just talked about doesn’t mean that they’re definitely planning to file for divorce. It may simply be that these are indicators of trouble ahead in your marriage. But if you’ve seen several of these indicators in your spouse recently, and you’re feeling that things aren’t on track with your marriage, I encourage you to act to turn things around now before matters get any worse.

First, like an old house undergoing renovation, you don’t fix the cracks in the walls first, and then fix the cracks in the foundation. You work on the foundation first. Your relationship needs foundational work. Patching other problems first only provides a short-term fix; the “cracks” will reappear much sooner than you think. And their reappearance will only dishearten you, making future repair attempts less likely. Your marital problems developed over time, and it will take time to repair the damage.
Our third attempt—and, you guessed it, the ensuing breakup—was kind of a glitch in the space-time continuum. It was 2009, and at this point I’d realized Mary was not an easy person to please. I coasted through the relationship, and she called me out where other girls I’d been with brushed off my repeated bad behavior. Our second breakup had reinforced the notion that no relationship comes easy and you have to put in the work, but I still sucked.
Getting an ex back in your life isn’t rocket science, and it doesn’t require an underground lab and years of careful planning. The less you do to make your goal a reality, the better off you’ll be. How often do you miss the people that you see every day? Do you spend a lot of time missing the people that you just spent all day around? Probably not. Do you miss your co-workers when you leave the office for the day even though you will see them tomorrow? Missing someone requires an absence and if there’s no absence, you can’t miss them.
My first ever boyfriend of 4 years plus broke up with me by saying “let’s just be friends”, “I don’t see a future with you anymore, I’ve tried but I just can’t.”, “You’ve to understand that it’s not you, it’s me. Even if you change, I’ll still be the same and eventually the same problem will unfold and we’ll quarrel again”. I’ve sent him threads of messages saying I’ll change and will be able to overlook issues and gradually hope that things will change for the better, but he seems to have made up his mind and wanna end this relationship with me.
Take this opportunity to get back in touch with you and fall in love with the woman who attracted him rather than spending your time thinking about how to get your boyfriend back. Get busy with your friends, your interests, and the things that make you YOU. Remember: you can lose a man, but you can NEVER lose yourself. If this man is worthy of you and is the right man for you, I guarantee that when he sees you are focusing on your own life he will realize what he’s missing.
We went back to our place and he told me he wanted to break up with me for sure. I tried to reason with him again, to give me more time But he was sure, he had felt bad about changing his mind before apparently; after a couple hours of heated conversation, of me trying to convince him, he even told me he didn’t love me anymore ( which I’m not sure about, was he saying that so that i let go?). I gave in and we took my flight ticket back home. We spent the day after together, it was awesome and incredibly sad. I didn’t want to believe I was letting go of a life I wanted so much. He was so sad too, it felt like he was hurting a lot too.

st. jude i pray that i want a better relationship with my boyfriend rudy open his heart and his eyes and let him see that i really do love him, care for him keep him away from his ex yvette that she doesn’t come between our relationship let him realize that am the woman of his dreams n that i will make him happy n love him forever help him be abetter man for me and my daughter , san jude i really love him please help me change him into a good person and that he just have eyes for me …..amen in the one of the father and son and hoy spirt amen


We explained earlier how keeping your emotions in check is critical to making this period of no contact work. I know how easy it is to backslide and fall into our familiar patterns. This isn’t just the case with relationships either. Just think about how it normally goes for you when you’re starting anything new: a new low-carb diet, a new bedtime, mediation, a new workout routine, etc.
Me an my boyfriend been on and off for months! He’s family was extremely interfering and very nosey! We met 9 months ago and dated for 8 an half months. We had arguements over his family alot. And both out jealousy and insecurity. I know it’s sounds crazy but we agreed to be friends but we still love eachother. An I’m wondering if that’s all we are ever going to be now. I need to cut ties to move on in literally begging him to give me another chance but of course his family have to stick their nose in! But if I got back with him I just ignore them and tolerate them! I’m not bothered about them. I just want my man back. I love him he loves me why can’t they just butt out and stop interfering? Sounds nasty but if I don’t get him back I hope he meets a really horrible girlfriend in the future who treats him like crap. And stops him seeing his friends. For three weeks he messed me round saying we was just seeing eachother an his family hated it. UNTILL his mom shouted in my face on the webcam then he took his moms side an called it off. So now were just friends and not seeing him as almost killed me. I wish now I had of never bothered and stopped on my own!
Im a lesbian and was with this girl for four years going 5 on july.she ask space for 3months no communication,no seeing each other so I gave her space but i broke my promise not to call,text and see her. I called her 12 times and ive been texting her also.and worst thing i did, iwent to her office so she saw me and ask what are you doing here, i told her i miss you i wanna see you.and i also ask her when she will come back and if she still love me. I keep on forcing her to answer until she pissed. So i went home and received text messages ftom her saying im not happy with what you did. I starting to hate you and you ask me if i still love you no i dont love you anymore. Now i dont know what to do? I dont wanna lose her.. pleasehelp me what to do not to lose her and to love me again..please

Lauren I broke up with my gf of like 3 yrs with the exact same thing she said she need time to think she didn’t know what she wanted.Clearly I wasn’t making her happy,this was about a month ago I’ve met her once for coffee and I can hardly remember her laughing more.I think I still have a chance,I recently lost my job too so this really doesn’t help.I can’t get her out of my head I am constantly thinking about her.We do talk but I don’t think I can leave her alone as much as I she does with me.
My ex-boyfriend and I just broke up 2 weeks ago. I love him and his little boys so much and i feel heartbroken. We had 8 mounths relationship in witch we lived together…he and I we are another country but had sometime lived with, I think he loves me, despite when he left me he said he like me but he doesn’t love me the same way i do. Is it possible to tell me all this just to make me go away, or to protect me, or I really dunno…
hi I”m someone s ex girlfriend . yes I don”t understand why my ex walked out on me. without even saying bye bye. and why did go and cheat with my friend for why. my ex girlfriend didn’t have to do me like the way she did me. because if she did”t want me than she shoulder told me than. but I love her and I still care about her a lot . and yes I still wanna get back with her . because overtime I think of her I cry . because I misses her . wild I didn’t no that I”m boring . well why she didn’t tell me than. why sweet heart . but nope I don’t have a girlfriend no. sense my ex walked out on me . from tabitha
My GF and I were together for close to a year. She broke up with me about 3 months ago. Our relationship was actually really good. We hadn’t had any real disagreements. We communicated really well. We were planning on living together. Then Oade a huge mistake. I lied to her about something huge and important. I did so because I let my ego and pride get in the way of my rational thinking. She has completely shut me out of her life. She has blocked me from her phone, email and FB. I did make all of the early breakup mistakes like pleading with her to take me back. Apologizing over and over. It finally dawned on me that I never let her know that I wasn’t taking her feelings into consideration. I let her know that I did after a short period of time. I have read several different get your ex back e-books. All of them do not seem very promising as I am a woman and I try to think about how I would react to some of the steps given. I have done the no contact step. I have written her a couple of letters apologizing again. The last letter I wrote I basically told her some things I loved about her, how I was angry that when the going got tough she ran and that I was saying goodbye and good luck to her. I just dropped it off so I have not received a response…if I get one at all. I do love her and I do want her back. I can honestly say she is the one for me. Some of my friends have given me the “there are other fish in the sea” speech. That’s not what I want. I want the one that I love back. I guess I’m looking for some more advice. Anything I have missed in this whole process. Thanks head of time for any advice given. I do really appreciate it.

If your ex believes that you’re capable of attracting other women to the point that you could replace her, that will only INCREASE her perception of your mate value, and attract her back. Why? Because there is no greater sign of high mate value in the eyes of a woman, than a man’s perceived ability to attract OTHER women. And what is it that attracts women, even exes? Signs of high mate value.
Today, I’ve got the usual habit to clear his Hotmail inbox and I realized that he’d booked two tickets to a horror late night movie yesterday. And at this point of time, I might have guess that he’s watching it with the girl whom he previously had dinner with. Somehow, I felt that he might have taken a slight interest in this girl colleague and have decided to move on and try out dating the new girl since he’s so firm with his decision on ending off the relationship with me and see no future in us after all that we’ve been through and in such a short period of time?
If you’re noticing that your ex is losing interest in you or talking with you, getting on with their own life, moving on and moving past your former relationship, avoiding your calls, are always busy instead of wanting to talk or never seem to be around when you’re calling, you may be a little uncomfortable. These signs don’t necessarily mean that her decision to leave you is set in stone. There are some techniques that go outside the box that can work in even the most hopeless of circumstances. You just need to change the way she sees you and get her mindset to change. It’s not as hard as it sounds.
Seeing that your ex-girlfriend is moving on by getting into a relationship with another guy can be extremely disheartening, and you may think that all hope is lost. That’s not necessarily the case. Rebound relationships are prevalent when one person doesn’t want to work on the issues that came up during their breakup, and rebound relationships simply don’t last. By diving into a new relationship, your ex is trying to avoid dealing with her feelings for you. That new relationship simply won’t measure up.
You need to give her space for three reasons: 1) People simply need space; if you can't give her any space, maybe that's something you can work on to show her that you've changed. 2) She'll get an opportunity to realize how good you are; not that she doesn't know this already, but she may not feel it in her bones. 3) You'll show her how independent you are on your own; the "rebel" is so attractive to women because he's totally on his own and doesn't need other people.[4]
Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
Love should never hurt it should be the one thing thst makes you happy. If she is talking down to you for no apparent reason then she is not the one for you. If she can’t see thst you are in her corner and love her unconditional then it’s time to move on. Wasting time is not a good look especially when yoy are young. I thought thst i could not get over my ex but I am living and making the best of the situation everyday.
Having issues in your marriage/relationship? I have been rejected by my husband of 4years,it hurts so much been nelegect all the time, I confronted my husband and he say it’s not working and needs a divorce.. I felt depressed and needed solution cause I love him so much. I went online for solution or counseling, when I stumbled on a testimonial page. People with similar problem as mine. I was lucky a lady left an email for me to contact, I took a bold step cause I was so depressed and feel like dying.. I contacted this great man, prophet Osaze, who prayed for me and assured me of my husband return to my arms with 48hrs of his prayer, behold after that prayer night, my husband came home pleading for my forgiveness, it’s our 2year today together after the prayer and my husband has never changed towards loving me.. contact prophet Osaze today via : (spirituallove at hotmail . com)
Lord I come to you with worry on my heart. I broke my boyfriend’s heart, and my have lost him forever. I just ask that you give him the gift of forgiveness. I ask that you open his heart and allow him to see that our relationship is worth saving. I ask that you be a force in our relationship and help us to fight through this terrible time and fix our relationship one day at a time. I don’t know where else to turn and I know that you work miracles. I am asking for a miracle at this point. Things look really bad right now but I know that all I need is faith the size of the mustard seed. I pray that you help me and my boyfriend get through this and I pray that my family stays together, I ask this in your name.
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