Next, decide which route you want to take. Is self-help the proper way to go for you and your spouse? Self-help is the topic of this article, but your choices include marriage counseling and combinations of the two. There are advantages and disadvantages to each method of saving a marriage. Take some time to consider each way. Among the advantages of self-help is the satisfaction of solving your marital problems on your own and not having to entrust the fate of your marriage to a stranger. But, one of the better advantages of marriage counseling is that you have a third party to help identify those perceptions you’ve formed which are flawed, though you don’t realize it.
Okay so me & my ex boyfriend broke up like a couple months ago. Me and him have been dating for over a year. Ever since we got into high school he changed. He’s like every other guy now. During our relationship, he would cry when I left or if I took the bracelet he gave me off. I just really want him back, I still do love him. I honestly need to know what to do. Help me please

You are hilarious!! I am laughing so loudly whilst reading your articles….I’m scaring my dogs! I came across your website while I was googling and trying to understand why my now ex-fiance ‘assbag’ of 4 years breaks up with me (2nd time in 3 months), demands no contact then calls me, bawls during the conversation then tells me “he says he needs space” AGAIN…. he did this 3 months ago also…so now I’m thinking he’s emotionally inept and I’m left feel totally confused. But I am finding your articles are helping me alot….so thank you!!!!


my boyfriend nd I were deeply in love till I met some girls who liked to go out…smoke nd drink a lot ..I spent most of my time with them than my boyfriend…everything changed after that until I met one guy from the party then dated him..I loved him so much because he was good !!..but he didn’t love me because we broke up nd I now regret why I chose him over my previous boyfriend…I want my boyfriend back..what can I do now


"While some marriages end because both spouses want out, most troubled marriages have a spouse who wants to save the marriage," says Joe Beam, PhD, the founder and chair of Marriage Helper, adding that when there's someone still fighting for the marriage, there's hope that love can be renewed. "If you have a personal belief and value system that motivates you to finish what you start — especially if you feel that marriage is a life-long commitment—that's a sign things can look up."
So what do you do when you wrote her a letter and left it one her doorstep, and she emailed you that same afternoon threatening with calling the police if you ever showed up anywhere near her property again, and then asks you what part of I never want to see or hear from you again dont you get! I really want this girl back. Its been 9 months and every goddam day still hurts!!
My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me two days ago. He was an alcoholic and he got mean when he drank and he ended up going to jail because he scared me.(that was like7 months to a year of our relationship) He went to rehab and is so much better. When we would fight he would always throw “puting him in jail” in my face. I’m not trying to be the hero I just wanted him to get help. I was very insecure and clingy in the relationship and he gave me so many chances to change. I would be doing really great then hit a bump in the road and make a mistake and he would blow up and dump me and I’d convince him I’m doing better, and he would say one last chance. Well the night before I made a huge mistake and he said that’s it were done! He started calling me horrible names and telling me that he hated me so much. I asked if I could come see him to talk about it and he said yes drive really fast (meaning drive fast and wreck) everything I would say he would laugh at like I was a joke. He told me to never ever talk to him again. He also said the soonest he would ever talk to me was 10 years. Idk if he said all that because he was angry, or if he really meant it. I’m not going to communicate with him for a while. But idk if he will even contact me because he erased my number and blocked me on fb. Which I’m kinda glad he did so I don’t have to look at him and see his posts. I love him so much and I’m working on bettering myself. But after that idk what to do….
My first ever boyfriend of 4 years plus broke up with me by saying “let’s just be friends”, “I don’t see a future with you anymore, I’ve tried but I just can’t.”, “You’ve to understand that it’s not you, it’s me. Even if you change, I’ll still be the same and eventually the same problem will unfold and we’ll quarrel again”. I’ve sent him threads of messages saying I’ll change and will be able to overlook issues and gradually hope that things will change for the better, but he seems to have made up his mind and wanna end this relationship with me.
Maybe you will watch your favorite movie at home or go out. You will have fun together and do many things you’ve always enjoyed . Try to envision every detail and understand that this is not just a dream. It is completely possible to get your girlfriend back! Now you know that there are techniques and secrets that can help you restore your relationship!

Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.


Not every long-term relationship should last even longer. In this connection I always think of two candidates for the worst marriage ever. One patient was a man, the other a woman. Some of what they endured was similar. Both marriages were childless. The man put up with persistent infidelities on his wife’s part, often with his friends. She did not work, did not take care of their house or dogs, (which she insisted on buying) and was an alcoholic. She sometimes struck him, once with a hammer. She might have been delusional. She accused him of wiring the house to spy on her. When I asked him why he was putting up with her, he said, “I love her.” The marriage only broke up finally when she went on vacation with one of his friends and never returned.
After couples of meetings on Facebook, I decided to visit his place as he was at my hometown (Vancouver, BC, Canada) at that time. In my one-to-one meeting I asked lots of question about how to get an ex girlfriend back and lot of other stuff on female psychology. One thing I really like in this personal meeting was, Michael instilled confident in me that none of my friends able to do.
Johnny Cassell was pivotal in my decision to travel 5000 miles to establish a relationship I had completely misunderstood. His advice provided unfounded insight that I allowed my ego to overlook. Whether you are confident or not…this highly calm, collective and intelligent expert in dating can make you realise the answers to your relationship troubles. Consider him the best friend, confidante or muse in your life.

she left me in 2011 and came back to me in 2012 afta i have callin her and not answering my calls for a year then she left again for a year 2013 around march and came back to me this year 2014…she started calling me on the 28 of february this year and i was shocked and confused about that.but at my point of view she was heartly brokened with the partner she was dating after me.we get back together but she told me we dont have to make love and i agreed but i forced her.now she is telling me she want a breakup coz im cheating but she doesnt have any proof.i loved her and i still love her.so i dont know what to do.i need your help guys..i think she is gona leave again coz im trusting her..but i said i dont want a breakup…thanks for your help guys.

You need to do some self therapy. Start a virtual diary (open Word and start writing). Write about what part you played in the relationship failing, which you already know – your insecurities. Next, you need to really come to acceptance with yourself. Ok, so you’re unsure about a few things, but why? What happened in your past that is making you so needy with your bf/ex bf? What ever it is, stop it. Raise your communication level and just tell him “I’m insecure about _____ because _____ happened. So please help reassure me that I chose you because you’re not an @$$hole.” Just be honest, what do you have to lose? Oh that’s right, your bf because you accuse him of doing something he’s not. Yes that was harsh, but you have to be harsh on yourself. Take a moment to fix yourself, otherwise you have no change with him or anyone else.
It feels like not being able to breathe when a good man leaves you. He’s put up with me for so many years, i’m so sorry for everything. i fked up i was naggy, unappreciative, rude, and not available to him emotionally i was pushing him away he was such a sweet heart and i always found something to argue with him about i took what we had for granted we took a break for a while and decided to try again start from the beginning..we went out had fun and i fell into my old way got mad and argued about soemthing so stupid.
The problem which is causing this is because of my sensitivity and paranoid issues. It so happened that whenever he does not reply me for an hour via text messages, I’ll ask stuffs like what are you doing, are you really busy, are you really alone and all just now and even random questions like ‘have you been smoking alot, I’ll want you to quit soon, really”. I’m like that because I guess there’s trust issues between us previously on this incident where he told me he’d went for dinner with his guy friends but coincidentally, one of my friend saw him outside having dinner with a girl instead. But then again, my boyfriend was the one raising his hands up and waving to my friends at that moment, which in this case he’s not afraid of being seen but still waved to her. I asked him about it and he said yea, he’s sorry that he lied because he’s afraid to tell me that he’s out dinner with this girl colleague. He’s scared that I’ll constantly ask him questions and nag at him about it and flaring, being jealous and everything.
You can instantly download the audio, video and manual system to put these techniques into practice when she contacts you. You can also use these text examples to initiate contact with her again after a certain period of time, which Fiore explains himself. Watch the video where he explains exactly what the system does and learn some powerful techniques to try out yourself.
My first ever boyfriend of 4 years plus broke up with me by saying “let’s just be friends”, “I don’t see a future with you anymore, I’ve tried but I just can’t.”, “You’ve to understand that it’s not you, it’s me. Even if you change, I’ll still be the same and eventually the same problem will unfold and we’ll quarrel again”. I’ve sent him threads of messages saying I’ll change and will be able to overlook issues and gradually hope that things will change for the better, but he seems to have made up his mind and wanna end this relationship with me.
That’s really the main aim in Step 8 here – ensure that you don’t make mistakes which would accidentally sabotage the natural getting-back-together process. There’s several common mistakes most guys make at this exact point, and it’s super important that you know WHAT those mistakes are so that you don’t fall victim to them like most do. If you’re not told what these mistakes are, I honestly believe that you WOULD fall victim to them, so let’s discuss them right now.
You just need to give her space and time let her heal first. In the mean time go and get your self together work out hang with friends and make your self happy. I will admit it will be hard it trust me it will work. Dont put your self out there make her come to you. Don’t pay her any attention to anything she does. It’s going to be ok and who knows maybe yall wasn’t meant to be. There may be someone else out there better than her for you.
Your number one advantage in any breakup situation is to let it happen without fighting her choice to leave. No matter what choice words are running through your mind as she’s spewing her breakup in your general direction, hold your tongue. She has made her decision and at this point, you can’t make her rethink that choice. The last thing you want is another screaming match. Just put your hands in your pockets and wait until she leaves before you start hitting the wall.

I have one for you guys! I started dating this girl that in my mind is the perfect one! I mean I couldnt possibly build a better woman. Well after 4 years of dating we broke up because she was tired of my habbits.!? Well we have been broken up now for three years and she still calls and texts every day. When I go to her house for the night she sleeps in her bed alone. She helps me in any way I need. (Bails me outta jail, pays my phone bill, buys me sweet gifts, ect.) 

I dont know what to write to him! NC is almost over and he has no social media so he has no idea what I’ve been doing. He also hasn’t contacted me which is okay. I’ve jotted down tons of ideas for my first email to him but I’m very scared. Hes always suspicious of people so I dont want to sound too needy or like I’m trying to use him. He might think if I’m messaging him a month later that I want to use him…hes stubborn as hell as well.
A while back I was dating someone and it always seemed that we would fight over the silliest things. Now, I like to think that I am generally a calm person but for whatever reason my girlfriend and I would always fight. So, I went to the most trusted of friends for advice, my dad. He explained to me that a relationship is like a bank account. Every time you have a good experience or something of that nature you are putting money into the account. However, every time you have an argument or a fight you are taking money out of the account. The key thing here is to have more green deposits than red withdrawals in your relationship bank account.
On my birthday on August 23rd…. I couldn’t tell you what it was….. it was like life changing really…. it hit at once and I missed him, I love him (which I always have but I never loved him like I do now), I cried probably the first time over him or really anything in probably 3 years and that was only because my grandfather passed away whom was also like my dad. But now I feel that it’s almost too late… He doesn’t say it like that but he just says to give him time, not to call / text him (but then said tonight I could if I wanted to), and that he would need to think about it because of this other girl. He said something like “she may say or do something I don’t like and that be the end of it” and then was like “I could tell her tomorrow that I wanna work things out with you, you never know” and then the next thing you know he’s in a bad mood because he said I waited so long to actually express myself to him….

After my girlfriend and I got separated I constantly looked for articles and books that could help me get her back. When I found your website, I was pleased with the number of positive reviews, but couldn’t really believe your course was so effective. I thought that my case was so difficult that no one could help me. When I read that I would get my money back if the course didn’t help me, I realized that I wouldn’t be losing anything if I tried, so I bought the book and read it. When I got to the middle, I was sure it was going to work! Until then, I was doing everything wrong, which is why there was no result!
So now, there’s not a moment that goes by when I don’t think about him and how I want him to come back so I can be better, do better say the things I was too shy to say. I’m not the only person who needs to change, he needs to come back as a new person too. But truth be told, it seemed that we were both stepping out of our comfort zones to be with each other. I wanted him to be more patient and he wanted me to profess my love for him everyday and in the end we both felt like we were being cheated of something and that the other person was being selfish.
Act like nothing is wrong. Even if your guts are tumbling like clothes in a washing machine, try not to let her know. She's probably not going to want you back if you're acting depressed, mopey, or sulky. Make sure you're laughing and genuinely trying to have a good time. You might find that you've become a happier person along the way. If you are feeling depressed, surround yourself with friends or family. Don't wait alone in a corner and just hope for her to come back to you.
After my girlfriend and I got separated I constantly looked for articles and books that could help me get her back. When I found your website, I was pleased with the number of positive reviews, but couldn’t really believe your course was so effective. I thought that my case was so difficult that no one could help me. When I read that I would get my money back if the course didn’t help me, I realized that I wouldn’t be losing anything if I tried, so I bought the book and read it. When I got to the middle, I was sure it was going to work! Until then, I was doing everything wrong, which is why there was no result!
He ended things.. This is a guy who comes back to me and has my number for 5 years. And we were so intimate and shared our past. He said didn’t want to play games this time. He came 4 hrs back and forth to spend time with me. Pursues me. Why? What does he want? Why travel in total 8 hrs to come have sex with me? He like a egotistical narcissistic unemotional prick. Please advice.. Btw I never responded to his message. I left things.
Reason #2 – Creates Feeling of Loss: Another reason to use no contact is, it helps in developing the feelings of loss in your ex boyfriend’s mind. Your boyfriend will start thinking why she is not calling me. He will start getting second-guessing to his decision of breaking up with you. Once he starts getting these second-guessing thoughts it will be great helpful for you.
There's more to getting your ex back than this post of course. Every situation is different and requires a slightly different approach. Hopefully at least one tip from above rings a bell and gets you closer on your path to getting Mr. Right back to where he should be, with you, the perfect girlfriend for him.  Once you get him back, don't take him for granted – a relationship… love… is something you must work on and maintain so that the fire keeps burning, if you just leave it unattended it'll either go out or get out of proportion and burn down a whole forest.

Then we were completely out of each other’s lives. I stopped thinking about her entirely—save for those random moments I’d spot short brunettes reading on library stairs. I spent the next four years dating other people, with some hits and many misses. One woman stole a couple hundred dollars out of my checking account and got engaged to another guy while we were living together.

Regardless of how a relationship ends, all breakups result in the same thing: Every guy on the planet -- seriously, every f*cking guy -- will wait until their exes have moved on from their relationships to want their exes back. This fact is so universally predictable that women anticipate and LIVE for the day when they have moved on and feel unaffected by their ex-boyfriends' efforts to win back their love. We basically fantasize about it.


I dont know what to write to him! NC is almost over and he has no social media so he has no idea what I’ve been doing. He also hasn’t contacted me which is okay. I’ve jotted down tons of ideas for my first email to him but I’m very scared. Hes always suspicious of people so I dont want to sound too needy or like I’m trying to use him. He might think if I’m messaging him a month later that I want to use him…hes stubborn as hell as well.
Okay so my boyfriend broke up with me because I was transferring to another college while he was being forced to go back to Chicago. When we talked, he told me he was staying a bit longer but he still chooses to go to Chicago, despite that he didn’t really want to break up with me. How do I know if he really wants me back? I still love him, but I don’t want to chase him away.
The system is designed to change your understanding of marriage , and especially your understanding of the problems. Here’s why: if you just keep thinking about things the way you have, you will only stay where you have been — stuck and going down! Albert Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
Ask them if they want to save the relationship. If they say yes, tell them (calmly) that you don't feel like they are putting forth the effort. Tell them exactly what you need from them, if possible. Couples counseling might be beneficial in this case. If they don't respond positively that they want to save the relationship, move on. You can't change their mind.
Give her some space. The first thing you need to do is give the girl some space. If you start knocking down her door and calling her every five minutes she'll only pull further away from you. The amount of space and time you give her depends on what happened when you tried to date her. If you ended a serious relationship, you'll need to give her more space than you would if you had just dated a few times.[1]
While it is important to not pursue your ex for a month or so, it's okay to be responsive if he or she pursues you. In other words, if you get a call, don't hang up on your ex or refuse to talk. It is not necessary to try to play mind games or play hard to get, and doing so would have the potential to push him or her further away, which is the opposite of your goal at this point.[6]
Hey guys! So my situation is very unique. When I got with my ex I was dating someone else. The guy I was with at the time was caring and let me basically have control of the entire relationship. I didn’t want to be with the caring guy because I didn’t think he was attractive enough for me. So I was working at McDonald’s at the time and my ex that I’m trying to get back started working there. At first I didn’t notice him much because he worked mornings and i worked nights. But one day I went into work to get my check with the caring guy I was with. While I was waiting for my check one of my managers at the time that had just turned 19 and liked to start drama had told me that my ex thought I looked like his wife… yes his wife. At the time they were separated in the middle of a divorce. So for some reason that made me notice him and the caring guy told me that I would end up with him because he knew me too well. I had cheated on the caring guy multiple times because I just wasn’t happy but didn’t want to be alone. So I added my ex on Facebook one day and he started a conversation with me about a post I had posted. It was something silly that he said he didn’t know about but later told me he did. Anyway so we started talking on Facebook as friends and then we started snapchatting. One day I was just like “hey, do you like me?” And he was like “as a friend ya” and i said “no like as more than that” and he said “no lol u have a bf” I said “I’m basically not with him, but I’m pretty sure u like me” he said “I don’t feel good about it but I do like you”. Of I almost forgot. At the time I was 17 and he was 25. Yeah I know thats a big gap but he looks younger. Anyway so needless to say I broke up with the caring guy and got with my ex. About a week or so into the new relationship i was stupid and cheated with the caring guy who made me feel bad for breaking up with him. I hid this for a long time from my ex. So in this new relationship everything was really great for like 5 months. Then I started to be controlling and possessive and i started to act a little crazy. That’s when everything went down hill. Oh ya, I had met his 3 kids (ages 6,4,and 1.5). And I had a bond with the 2 older ones who lived with him. So everything started to go downhill and i got bad anxiety and started accusing him of cheating and I ended up telling him about me cheating. We broke up for a day and got back together. Once we got back together It was good and everything until we broke up again for another day and got back together. Again things were good but then we broke up for a week and i was living with him and had my stuff at his house and we had gotten matching tattoos. So that week was terrible I said I was working on myself to try to make him jealous and i still lived with him as a roommate but we never seen each other . Then One day I caught him at home and i basically forced him to get back with me. Everything was really good or at least I thought so. But then we broke up for a day and he said he wasn’t happy and didn’t want to be with me and didn’t love me anymore. I persuaded him to get back with me and told him I would give him space but we could still be together and he said ok. So we got back together and me being the person I am changed for a day and then went back to the clingy controlling and crazy person I was. We were together for 4 days. We broke up yesterday and I’m just devastated. Yesterday when we broke up he kicked me out. I told him I would take what I needed for a month or so and i would be back for my other stuff in a bout a month. That day I went completely Insane. I wore his clothes and layed in his bed and cried and posted sad videos on Snapchat saying how I just want him back and i also posted on Snapchat a trip down memory lane with every picture we ever took together. His friends contacted him telling him I was crazy and i was gonna kill him telling him to change the locks. So I stopped and took it down. I had a friend come over and help me pack. We hung out for about an hour and then I had to pick up my ex from work because we were sharing his car. When I got there he didn’t want to talk to me. He asked me for the house key and car key back that I had. So I don’t have either of those anymore. Anyway, he gave me a ride to my moms and on the way there I just told him how I was sorry for ruining our life together and he said he was sorry for his part. I ruined once we got to my moms because I asked him for a kiss goodbye and he said no and told me to get out of the car. I tried to kiss him anyway and he pulled away and told me to get out. He said that he was not going to contact me for 2 weeks. And then he drove off. I messaged him after he left and told him I will miss him and i love him and blah blah blah. And today was the total solar eclipse and i was worried about him and i told him to be careful and to have a nice life and i might see him in a month or so and i haven’t gotten a response back yet. I think I blew it but I’m hoping that this article helps me get him back even though he told me he doesn’t love me anymore and said that he fell out of love with me when I acted crazy. So hopefully it works. Please comment with thoughts. Thank you?
"While some marriages end because both spouses want out, most troubled marriages have a spouse who wants to save the marriage," says Joe Beam, PhD, the founder and chair of Marriage Helper, adding that when there's someone still fighting for the marriage, there's hope that love can be renewed. "If you have a personal belief and value system that motivates you to finish what you start — especially if you feel that marriage is a life-long commitment—that's a sign things can look up."
I don’t know what to do. I met this guy. Stayed the night with him since DAY ONE. Five and a half years. It was an extremely rough relationship. Started fighting after six months. I couldn’t forgive him for all the bad things he had done to us. Lie after lie after lie. He went away for six months best the end of our relationship and we talked on the phone every single day. When he came back home, we both said that we would do whatever it takes to make things work for good. No arguing, etc. I couldn’t let go of the past and I started arguing with him about EVERYTHING. Especially if he even looked at another woman. Things got really really bad at the end. I started treating him like crap and didn’t care how I talked to him. After we broke up we still talked almost every day. He would still come over and be with me. But, I kept messing things up. I still would start arguments because I was afraid that he was putting other women above me. He’s dating one of our co workers now. And he moved in with her too. We’ve officially been separated for six and a half months now. He officially started dating her after I snapped at him one last time back in the beginning of February. I don’t feel the same tension that I did. I don’t feel the same hate anymore. I love him so much and I want him back. I got upset with him in the beginning of March and he teared up and told me that “I wanted it to be YOU!!!” But, he’s with this new chick. And he said that it’s a new relationship. How do I get him back? I know he loves me. I know it to be true. We all three work together but rarely do I see her anymore. Please, help me. I did the no contact rule for 30 days. April 2nd, before leaving work I apologized for being so selfish during the breakup and told him that I it makes me so happy to see him happy. He sincerely said “Thank you”. After he was shocked that is. After that day, we started having more laughs at work. Then I text him something funny the other day after we got off work and he responded “lol”. I haven’t heard from him since. I’m worried that he’s too happy and comfortable in his new relationship that I won’t be able to get him back into my personal life again. What am I to do?
I did something stupid, so my cousin and been searching net and she found something called the Second chance letter and so I wrote one and gave him when he came to pick up some of his clothing. I wrote it just as explained, saw a sample and did it that way, In the beginning I put that I accepted the break up and then apologize that I didn’t showed that I appreciated him and then the part stating that good things been happening and someday would like to tell him about it but right now we both still needing space.
×