Breakup is hard as it is, especially if you are still obsessing over your ex and wondering all the time whether or not they miss you. On top of that, if your ex starts dating someone else, it’s almost feels like someone punched you really hard in your stomach (while wearing a wolverine claw). Nothing can prepare you for this feeling. But it happens. And no, it’s nothing to worry about.
I really like the links from the first comment. I think as long as the two people love each other it doesn't matter what they did. unless its cheating. Trust is hard for me to understand. MY bf doesn't trust me and even though he has done things to break my trust in different ways I feel like I know him and can understand he's just a human and we make some mistakes sometimes. I try and change how he wants me to, to be a better person and show him I do care but somehow its not ever enough. I do not know how I can show him I care. He wants a big grand gesture but I do not have money or an idea of what to do. He said something like seeing him at work would make him feel like I care but when I didn't do u it his time limit that I didn't even know about he got mad. I just want to show him he is special but every little thing doesn't mean anything to him anymore. I can say I felt like how he describes because he hurt me and I didn't care about anything but distressing helped me see more clearly and what I needed to. I think that's what's going on with him because he hasn't been able to distress.
I’m hoping I can put a lot of these tips into good use. My ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago (we were together for 11 months). He broke up with me because I kept starting arguments about stupid things and he was tired of always fighting. The break-up really taught me that I need to change certain parts about myself for the better. However, as time goes by it’s more and more difficult for me to forget him. I’ve sent him a text about once a week since the break-up, and he answered them all. A week ago we were at the same party, and he confessed he still cares about me and loves me. The Monday that follows, however, he acts like he just wants to be friends. I did a stupid thing tonight and called him, though he didn’t answer. I’m worried that I look needy and clingy, when I know all he wants is space. I really want us to work, so hopefully I’ll finally start taking the proper steps. It’s just hard because whenever he does something that looks like a “sign”, I get ahead of myself and try and contact him. No more!
It is a very long journey so you have to pace yourself. I commonly say you have to jog the marathon and walk the water stations, but keep it moving steadily towards the finish line. Don't be surprised how quickly you can feel disconnected even in a healthy relationship and sometimes it will be right after you believed things were the best they ever were.
By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.
I love him. How much i want this to work. Please better our communication and help me to not lash out destructively and instead learn to control my emotions. Please allow me to heal from any hurt as well as heal him of any of my wrongdoings. Please St. Jude I need you now more than ever, I do not want to give up on this man. I pray he doesn’t give up on me and instead allow us to have another chance to make one another better. Please I beg of you. I do not want to start something new, this has too much potential to be great. I plead we have another opportunity to love each other wholeheartedly with no temptation.
If you’re really worried that your ex is going to get into a new relationship, or you know he’s in one and you want to find out whether it’s real or not, this article will give you the signs that his new relationship is a rebound. That way, you can get a definitive answer to the question, “Is he in a rebound relationship?” and move on with putting the no contact rule to work for you.
Following this advice helped me save my relationship. At the start I the break up I was messaging him a lot and begging to get back together. I looked stupid. After reading this I tried the no contact rule and focused on bettering myself and finding distractions when I felt the urge to talk to him. Just pretending to move on helped me feel a lot better about myself. We were later forced to work together and I kept my head up ignored him the best I could besides work relations and showed him that I can move on. Shortly after that he broke down to me about missing me and doing anything to have me back.
It is funny how it works, and it works just the same with exes. Let your ex CHASE YOU back into a relationship, AFTER you’ve done Steps 1-7 of how to get your ex-girlfriend back. Your willingness to lay back and wait for HER to chase commitment out of YOU, instead of you chasing that out of her, will then signal TO her THE high mate value that will actually make her WANT to chase the commitment out of you!
If your breakup hit you completely unexpectedly and you didn’t see it coming, it’s probably hitting you really hard. You need to pick yourself up from the ground, dig the stiletto out of your still-beating heart and figure out where to go from here. Immediately following the breakup is the pivotal moment where you need to exercise caution. You can’t afford to throw yourself a pity party right now, and chugging a case of beer isn’t going to help clear your mind. You need to get going and take the best possible steps to reconnect your relationship, and you need to start now.
So, find out what messed up your relationship and work on it. Were you too cranky, moody, jealous, demanding, insane, nagging-all-day, not giving him his space and freedom, disrespectful, got fat, made out with another guy, or you just sucked in bed? Whichever it was – fix it. He needs to see that, after a month or so of breaking up, you are progressing; suddenly you became a different person. But do it for you, not for him. Once he sees how much different you became he'll wish you never broke up in the first place, he'll want to give the whole thing another chance too.
I need some suggestions I want my ex-girlfriend back I’m sure of it she broke up with me 4 months ago and has been with somebody else that same amount of time…..thruout that time all I have been saying to her is she made a mistake leaving me I want her back I miss her love her I have been blowing her phone up and she changed her number because of it I need to know even tho I did all of these things is there still a way I could get her to love me again and take me back and I have to work with her bf she’s with now
my girfriend broke up with me a month ago, she told me she wasnt ready for a relationship and i was too into her more she was into me and she wanted some space.. so i gave her some space but a week later i end up getting drunk in a bar, then i see her .. i approach her and ask if we can talk ( iwasdrunk) then we went to the parking lot… i asked if she could come back to me she said she wants to be single… then i accidentally said something disrespectful, she slapped me and asked me how many bottles i drank… i was in rage of anger because she didnt want to fix things. then when she left.. i started texting her nasty things… well i was drunk… now i regret everything ive done on that day… and she called the next day after that saying she doesnt like me anymore and shes never coming back.. is that because shes really angry? i sent her flowers she threw them away.. im so stupid to get drunk that night… now after 2 weeks i heard she likes this other guy but i dont know if she really likes the guy or not… its only been a month and shes searching for another guy to like? i thought she wasnt ready to be in a relationship?… i need help.. how do i get her back and put interest. thanks…
When those arguments become daily occurrences, and tend to arise over almost anything, then that’s when things get a bit more dicey. For example, if you arriving 5 minutes late for a dinner date turns into a massive screaming match and results in both of you going to bed angry for the third time in a week, then that’s a problem. These kinds of arguments, if they happen frequently and tend to blow small grievances or disagreements way out of proportion, can indicate that your marriage is headed in the wrong direction.
So your breakup sucked and everything went horribly wrong. Welcome to almost every breakup in the world. It happens. No matter what caused the breakup or how bad it was, there are ways to get your ex-girlfriend back. If you take the correct actions at the correct time you can find yourself back together quicker than you imagined. It’s simply a matter of knowing what to do and when.
He said that he didn’t think that we had enoughin common, which isn’t true because we would do so many old and new things together. When we broke up he said that he felt like we stopped being friends but then later saud the he was still my friend because we were really good friends. He also still wanted to hug and touch me and told me that he still wanted to do those things. None ofthis made any sense to me.
I left my cheating ex and gave him a chance, we got serious and introduced each other to our families and parents. The 1st year of the relationship was amazing, he would bring roses when he visited, take me for romantic dinners, send romantic texts and call me and speak for hours. As time passed things started getting different…feeling different…He never made me feel special like before and I was afraid I was losing him, which in a way made me angry and I started arguments and fights with him all the time..In the past 3 and a half years we’ve broken up every year before christmas and new year..he left…after 6months he would come back…Last year when he came back,we promised each other that we would never let our relationship go through that ever again…few months down the line…I could feel that we were taking each other for granted again…He never use to call me, he was too tired or too busy to text me..He always had excuses when it came to weekends for us to spend time together…It made me feel unimportant and as if he had met someone else…though I knew deep down he was never one to cheat, assuming,crazy thoughts and anger caused us to fight constantly,but still we loved each other very much…September last year he was writing exams and told me that he will not have anytime for me, It hurt but i understood because I knew it was important to him..Until I found pictures of him on social networks at clubs with his friends…which tore me to pieces..He lied!! Were his friends,drinking and clubbing more important to him then me? I am 22 years old and since I met him I gave up all my friends and clubbing for him,because he didnt like that…I would pine and crave to be with him and see him or even hear his voice…but all I would get from him was excuses.. Earlier Last year he spoke to me about getting engaged and starting a life together and of how much he loves me….November last year he called it quits when he found out that I had one of his male friends in whatsapp(innocently),I would never cheat on him,leave alone that…with his friend…Since then Ive tried everything possible to make things right, met with his parents,sent texts,tried calling, even drove out to a place nearby to where he lives and texted him to say Im waiting to talk to him…he ignored me every single time…xmas passed,so did new year…still nothing…then I realised I was hurting myself more by trying and getting rejected all the time, even after finding out he had a profile on a dating network, I still forgave and tried…I stopped contacting him for 2weeks,…a week back I received 2 missed calls from him, I regreted that I missed his call but I did not try and call back, I msg’d him a day after and he responded…that gave me a little hope that there was still something between us…After that I havent contacted him until lastnight when I couldnt stop thinking about him and decided to send him an I miss you msg…a beeeeeg mistake!!! I wasnt very happy with his reply and in an emotional state I replied with a nasty msg…I think I just made things worse… Im at that very hurt and confused stage right now… where when I think about all the things he has done to hurt me it makes me feel as If I dont want to be with him,but deep down inside I know how much I love him and that I can forgive him for anything because the love is enough, He still keeps in contact with my family and my mum, not to sure if thats a good thing… I will try your tips and hope it works:-) Ive now realised that he knows exactly how I feel about him and that I want a long lasting relationship with him, but Ive tried and Ive done my part…I cant be rejected every single day when I try to contact him…HIS NOT A NEED IN MY LIFE….BUT I DO WANT HIM TO BE IN MY LIFE…I love him alot, but you cant force someone to be with you if they dont want to…the time apart(breaking off contact) may bring him back or may help me get over him….If its meant to be it will be….
My story is slightly different: although we only dated for 3 months it was probably the most mature and loving relationship I had ever been in. He started talking about marriage a few dates in and I was like “Whoa, this is all coming fast! I can’t believe he’s telling me this!” But deep inside I blushed so hard and I was super excited about growing to love this man and our future together.
Where did I come up with this? Actually this really happened to me. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous. She looked so good in fact that all I could think was “how in the hell did I let her get away?”
True intimacy involves self-reflection and transparency, both of which play a role in accountability. Self-reflection occurs when each partner can honestly, without pride, examine their thoughts and behaviors and take ownership for their intentions and possible “wrong-doing.” If one or both members of a couple are incapable of doing this, a marriage cannot move forward in a healthy way.
When you guys meet up for dinner/coffee, whatever, don't talk about the past , why you broke up and stuff like that. Ask him what's new in his life, how he's doing, maybe remind him of something nice that only you know about him that you can both laugh about it. Keep the conversation light. Super-emotional, could-a, would-a, should-a stuff will just bring you back to where you were.
While the normal methods for rekindling a relationship with your ex may not be successful in the case of infidelity, there are other methods that will. Your ex not only feels betrayed and hurt but she feels insecure about herself and her position as well. This situation doesn’t have to mean the end of the road. In some ways it can be easier to regain your relationship after an affair than if your breakup happened for another reason – her feelings for you never changed. She’s just too upset to recognize that they’re still there in the heat of the moment.
I am devastated and lost. My ex and I met freshman year of college. He was always so into me more than I was into him. He was absolutely in love with me, I was his life line. He was so serious in seeing me as his life partner, his future and everything. He made it known that if we were ever to end it would be because I ended it, not him. I see where things got unhealthy–he always wanted to spend time with me mostly and we did spend all of our time together. This school semester he became more busy with schoolwork and practice, and we clearly spent less time together. Our lives became more routine together, because he still lived in my dorm and we got every meal together. We started having more problems because I was not the happiest with him. I would call him out on things he did that showed less interest in me because I was upset we were not spending as much time together. In addition, he became very hurt when he did not get into a social club on campus, because he suddenly felt like he had no friends and was not cool. One day while fighting, he decided he wanted to break up. This is the person who absolutely swore to never do such a thing, and even though in the past we were in positions where this could have occurred, we never actually ended things–we worked through them. When i reflect i seee that he believed all of a sudden we were spending too much time together, made too many controls together, and that he was missing social opportunities. However, this is the hole he made for himself because he wanted us together and did not care for others. I believe that the rejection from the club and him being annoyed with my behavior led him to believe he is no longer in love with me. He says he loves me more than anything, but does not feel the same way. I convinced him to try to feel emotions for me again, so the past month we continued the meals and living togetehr, but he would never kiss me on the lips and became distant. Then finally he broke up with me and said that he just wants to be single and is not in a place for a relationship right now. How do I handle this? I want him back, and I want everything we had back. He said he wants to be bestfriends, but I said no I cannot and that I want no communication, but we have not exactly had no communication because he texted me today a week later asking if I could help him financially and that he will give the money back as soon as he can (I told him to ask others first because this is disrespectful and then i would if otehrs couldnt, because he said he doesnt know who else to go to). I assumed he would come back to me, and it would show him that he needs me, but he says he found someone else to help him. How do I get him back? We have one class together a week.
I’m in the same exact boat as you. My ex and I were together almost 4 months, we were amazing together till he started working again. Then we were fighting all the time. He accused me of cheating when I would’ve never have even thought to do that. I love him with all my heart. We’ve been broke up 2 weeks and more drama happened and now I don’t even know if I’ll ever have him back. Because before all the drama happened on Saturday he told his friend he was going to take me back in a week or two, he just needed more time. I love him with all my heart. I had to start the NC over again, so I’m only on day 7. Did any of this work for you? I’m scared and hurt, can’t help but have hope though. Only thing making me feel partially okay
It's important to not just talk, but to listen and hear what your partner has to say about what's going on in your relationship. You can show you're listening by summarizing what your partner has to say to show you've understood what he or she has said. You can also ask questions that show you've heard what the person has said and that you want to know more.