If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says "I'm no longer in love with you"), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other's eyes and then answer personal questions (like "What is your biggest fear?" and "What is your best memory from childhood?"). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex's eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.[12]
It was good, but the toxic feelings from the first breakup followed us wherever we went. Mary had let go of that fun-in-the-sun, summer-fling, freewheelin’ attitude I had desperately tried and failed to bring to our last relationship. She had made new friends and learned valuable lessons since our breakup, the biggest one being that guys who try to hold on to their high school ex-girlfriends are as dumb as they are stupid.
Thank you for this article :) i really opened mind and thoughts, im still trying to get my ex boyfriend back we lived together for 5 and half months and than he broke up with me, but now that i read this i didnt do anything it said to do, i kept blowing up his phone and getting him pissed at me. And everytime i sent a txt saying sorry he excepted it but than i would go and ruin it and mention the past. He said he wants 2 months of space and i really want to give him that but i get scared that he’s going to forget me and move on. But like it says i need to give him his space and in that time i will work on myself and when we finally meet up i will blow his mind on how sexier i look :) I really do love him and probably will never understand why he broke up with me? It was just ordinary day we had laughs and everything but at the end of the night he gave me the sad news. We did have fights but they were little fights that shouldn’t even have happend. The reason why i think he broke up with me is because were young were both only 19 but he was the one who asked me out and asked me to live with him. I know theres still love there he just needs his space for awhile and in that time i’m going to be doing what it says in this article. Thank you so much you really helped me out a lot :))
It is funny how it works, and it works just the same with exes. Let your ex CHASE YOU back into a relationship, AFTER you’ve done Steps 1-7 of how to get your ex-girlfriend back. Your willingness to lay back and wait for HER to chase commitment out of YOU, instead of you chasing that out of her, will then signal TO her THE high mate value that will actually make her WANT to chase the commitment out of you!

You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.
If you’re really worried that your ex is going to get into a new relationship, or you know he’s in one and you want to find out whether it’s real or not, this article will give you the signs that his new relationship is a rebound. That way, you can get a definitive answer to the question, “Is he in a rebound relationship?” and move on with putting the no contact rule to work for you.
These 3 steps are based on simple psychological techniques that work extremely well after a breakup. It’s not some mind tricks and cheap gimmicks that you will use to trick your ex into getting back together. If you are planning to trick your ex or force them into being with you, you are just going to end up in another miserable breakup. This guide will teach you how to start a new relationship with your ex; a relationship that actually has a chance of being a long lasting healthy relationship. Not the same old one which ended in this breakup.
I met a guy whilst travelling in Australia, and we dated for four months and travelled together the whole time. He said he loved me many times, that I made him feel things he never felt before and couldn’t stand the thought of me being with anyone else. Things felt so perfect. He made me feel like he wanted me so much. We are both from the same area in the UK and planned to carry things on when getting home. The last time I saw him at the airport, he told me he loved me and would be waiting for me when I got home in 2 weeks. However, as soon as he arrived home, he told me he changed his mind and didn’t want to commit to a relationship because of work and because his life is too busy. In the same phone call he also told me that he didn’t want me to get with anyone else. I love him so much, I started no contact as soon as he broke up with me and we haven’t spoken since (its been 10 days). I accepted his decision and told him that I couldn’t be friends right now as it was too hurtful, and that he had no right to expect me to wait around and not get with anyone else. He got very angry at this and called me bitter and childish. I don’t understand how his feelings changed so quickly. We still stayed friends on social media. I upload photos of me having a great time with friends, never post anything negative (although deep down i’m really suffering). I’m focusing on me, have taken up a new hobby and started hitting the gym more often. I just love him and miss him so much, every morning I hope today is the day he will message to say he made a mistake and wants me back. Is there any chance he will come back soon? or eventually? I don’t know what to do to make this happen. Any advice would be great.
To begin the process, I recommend that you have what I call the Perfection Conversation with her. Essentially, you need to acknowledge to her that you are not perfect (in terms of how you’ve been behaving and treating her), but for the sake of your love, you are willing to continually make a serious effort to become a better man for her. In the same conversation, you also need to get her to acknowledge and realize that she is not perfect either.
Some of these problems include conflicts about who does what about the house or who decides what to do on a particular weekend.  Other problems dissolve when it is understood– however long it takes to make the other person understand– just how strongly that person feels about certain matters. Examples of these solvable problems are: how much time one person spends at work or away from the other, which chores are really very difficult for the other person, how much sex they should have, how to handle disobedient children, how to spend money as investments or on vacation, how messy or clean the house should be, who does the cleaning, how to deal with fears of one sort or another. One spouse is not made weaker by considering what the other needs or wants.

I learned by my girlfriend’s friend that she fell in love with another guy. It’s the middle of summer so I can’t see her or talk to her since she doesn’t have her phone(even when she had it she didn’t answer). I truly love her and need some help with this, not to be weak but because I love her, and I fear that she might go out with that guy if she breaks up with me. Is there a way for me to make her have feelings for me again? A way for not to break up with me?

Spending time apart and giving your ex-girlfriend space is an important step in the how to win an ex back process. After a breakup, it’s clear that your ex’s feelings for you have gone stale, such that ANYTHING you do other than give her some time and space (even things that ACTUALLY WILL WORK to get her back later on!), would have a negative impact AT this early stage.


I work on myself everyday (some days I fail). Trying to extract my self-esteem, self-respect and dignity from what seems like the other side of the universe. I go to therapy every week. I stay in most nights, I’M starting to get out more. But most importantly, I DO NOT AND WILL NOT contact him in anyway shape or form. He doesn’t deserve contact from me.
My story illustrates the power of working on yourself, of being your best self, of being in a happy, settled place before you enter into a relationship. The reason my husband doesn’t know what shifted is that it wasn’t a tangible thing. It was my vibe and my energy. I changed a lot from the beginning of the summer to the end, I did a lot of important inner work and I genuinely loved myself and was happy with my life. That’s the kind of energy that draws people in. That’s what makes people see you in a different light.
"While some marriages end because both spouses want out, most troubled marriages have a spouse who wants to save the marriage," says Joe Beam, PhD, the founder and chair of Marriage Helper, adding that when there's someone still fighting for the marriage, there's hope that love can be renewed. "If you have a personal belief and value system that motivates you to finish what you start — especially if you feel that marriage is a life-long commitment—that's a sign things can look up."
I’m confused… I was with my ex for 3 years n 6mthns n he cheated on me but when he was with her and he went to work he would call me n tell me he miss me n love me n want to b back with me. He’ll say things like I choose the wrng girl she’s controlling. Well 5 months go by without talkin n we was back together having sex , going out, having with each others family, but she jus kept texting him n calling him then she made up a lie saying she was pregnant by him n she really wasn’t but I feel like he still lover her because he reply back to her texts n calls her when I’m not around. Yesterday we out and he dropped me off at home and supposedly went home or to his dad’s but I called his house his roommate sayd he didn’t come home last night n I called his dad house n they said he didn’t come over, so I started to get worried n I called his cell phone n it keeps going to voicemail, but my mind is telling me he’s with her… I still love him but I’m tired of the heart ache n him lying to me every time he opens his mouth, we was talkin bout getting married next year. I need Advice pls help!!
My husband and I got married 4 years ago. We don’t have kids, so we’re enjoying the company of each other. All of the sudden, he changed. He kept on telling lies and he even told his brother that he has another woman. Proud one huh??! He broke up with the me that easy last January, I never granted his wish of breaking up coz hello! we’re not just lovers, we’re married couple! He even yelled at me when I visited him in his office once. I got really depressed and cried my heart out. Now, I just read about your articles and i wanted to try this.. I hope it’s going to work… :-) I’ll keep updates..
Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
It’s easy to get your girlfriend back, win her over, make her fall in love with you! But are you ready to become her “slave”? Will you be the man, of whom his friends say that he has no spine? Of course, if you have any self-respect you will never agree to such a trade. This is why we came up with the system of “Ways To Influence a Woman”. And you have a chance of getting it absolutely free!

Do something nice for her without expecting her to pay you back. If she's studying late for an exam, pop by with her favorite tea or coffee and let her know that you know she's going to kill it tomorrow. If one of her friends gets in an accident, stop by and pay your respects (the friend will definitely let your ex know you stopped by). If your ex mentions she wanted to see a movie, buy her two tickets for her and her friend to see, and don't butt in. Your time will come soon. 

i will like to share my testimony to you all.i just got married to my husband about a year ago we start having problems at home like we stop sleeping on the same bed,fighting about little things he always comes home late at night,drinking too much and sleeping with other women out side.i have never love any man in my life except him.he is the father of my children and i don't want to loose him because we have worked so hard together to become what we are and have today.few month ago he now decided to live me and the kid,being a single mother can be hard sometimes and so i have nobody to turn to and i was heart broken.i called my mom and explain every thing to her,my mother told me about LORD NOBEL how he helped her solve the problem between her and my dad i was surprise about it because they have been without each other for three and a half years and it was like a miracle how they came back to each other.i was directed to LORD NOBEL and explain everything to him,so he promise me not to worry that he will cast a spell and make things come back to how we where so much in love again and that it was another female spirit that was controlling my husband.he told me that my problem will be solved within two days if i believe i said OK.So he cast a spell for me and after two days my love came back asking me to forgive him.i Am so happy now. so that why i decided to share my experience with every body that have such problem contact him on
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.
You can try and prove to your girlfriend how much you love her, but it will not lead you to the desired result. Such behavior will only widen the gap between you. A woman simply can’t return your feelings in such a situation, this is very subconscious for them. Their DNA is programmed differently than that of men, and women can have feelings for completely different things than men.
am from canada, would want to tell you all that i was able to put an end to my divorce issue and restore my marriage again, because i never wanted it to happen. i don’t know what came over my husband that he was filling for divorce, i tried to talk him out of it when he told me and he didn’t listen to me, i had no other option than to seek for the help of a spell caster and now am glad i did. Because if not for the help of spell, i don’t know what would have become of me by now because i loved my husband so much that i couldn’t stand loosing him. The spell worked like magic with the way and manner my husband change and started showing love instead of the divorce he was planning. i just too happy that everything is in place for me now. I would gladly recommend the use of spell to any one going through marriage problems and want to put an end to it. [gbojiespiritualtemple@ gmail. com , gbojiespiritualtemple@ yahoo. com or whatsapp : +2349066410185 was were i got the help to restore my marriage]
My ex had consistently chased me for 6 years throughout the whole of school and after, we were always really close friends and i was always too afraid to progress further incase that friendship got ruined. Even in his one other long term relationship he admitted to still always wanting to be with me and even throughout the good times with his ex he still imagined doing those things with me instead. Then after going through a hard time with a previous ex myself and having him support me we began to get close again and eventually ended up starting a relationship. And while at first i was slightly unsure about it, it quickly became clear it was the best decision i’d ever made, he was so madly in love with me and for the first time i felt so confident that someone felt like the luckiest person alive to be with me. He absolutely adored me and treated me like a queen. 2 and a half years later, and only just coming back off a wonderful week long holiday together with his family.. out of the blue, it’s over. Seeming in a bit of a bad mood one day i asked him if he was okay or if i’d done something and got the ‘we need to talk’ text. My stomach immediately dropped and i felt sick, but didn’t want to jump to conclusions and assume the worst. He came over that evening and told me he thought things had changed and that for weeks he’d had this feeling of that ‘sometimes’ he just wants to be my friend. Sometimes?! Even though that morning he’d commented on how it was our anniversary and 2 days previously we had even been on a date night where he’d complained because i had red lipstick on meaning he couldn’t kiss me and asked me to sit next to him in the bar instead of opposite him so he could put his arm around me, not really ‘i just want to be your friend behaviour’ right?
He broke up with me last Monday after 1 year and 3 months, for me it was the happiest time of my life and we never fought and had a happy and loving relationship. Reading this has really helped me as I’m going into my second week of NC tomorrow. I genuinely think we both needed a break but I’m not going to sit here and believe that we’re gonna get back together I’m just going to do my 4 Week Detox, then go from there. Wish me luck . X
Here is where he gets to see the beautiful woman you are in person. He gets to witness your positive vibe and new and improved look in the flesh. Like the reach out stage, there are no “rules” here. The light and fun vibe you brought to the conversations you’ve previously had should shine through just as bright. If your positive vibe is derived from genuine positive thoughts and emotions, interacting with him should be easy and effortless.
Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. However, I don’t like the phone for a lot of reasons. First off, it doesn’t give you time to think. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. Not to mention he still may be a little resentful about the break up.
honestly I did not show appreciation to my ex while we together. I missed valentines day and his birthday. when I decided to make the best of times with him it was to late. then I asked him for closure and he came talked in person. I told what if I got therapy because there is something going on that effects my relationships. he told its been three weeks and I’m over you….. I cried of course then looked at him and said I feel better. just got sick of being sad, doesn’t mean I’m over him. but its step. then I told me what was really going on and told he’s proud of me said I’m strong person and good girl. he told me to feel free to talk to him and said he wont be jerk to me. he also wants to improve. it sucks that I was to occupied with other stuff in life that i didn’t learn to understand him but oh well. that doesn’t mean has feelings for me. sadly I cant live in world that revolves around him I must create my own world and keeping living up to my goals. this relationship may have been painful but helped realize what I need. we are blind from pain because only look at the bad qualities that it brings us but we all need realize its actually beautiful because it shapes us. I’m going to embrace it this break up..
Posting here for sanity. I was moving on and got to a good place and just like herpes he came back. Gave me the line that he has had a really bad week, he wants to talk to me. I ate up that breadcrumb up like my life depended on it. Back to checking up on him on FB, back to checking my email 36376799x a day. Now haven’t heard from him again, but he has time to like sexual garbage on FB and be on FB all.the.time. Pretty sure he is chatting up others, but why do I flipping care? how many more red flags do I need? Moving on….again.
Me and my girl have two kids together she left me because I was too controlling. She left me 3 months ago. She lives with a friend that’s a girl about 100 miles away from me.Before she left I accused her of cheating a lot she was tired of it and left. For two months I bothered her trying to get her back. I’m her first love and her first boyfriend. When we last spoke she said she hates me and wished I was dead. If she didn’t care about me than why is she still responding when I talk to her? I know she still loves me and she knows I still love her. Everytime I’m positive with her she knocks me down yelling, cussing, or threatening to take my kids away forever. She thinks if we get back together I will an ass again. She cries sometimes when we talk over the phone. Do I have a chance of getting her back? And How? We been together for 6 years
Get some new clothes. New times call for new duds. It's a subtle change in you, but the importance will be clear to her: your new outer shell will signal deeper changes underneath. Get that new shirt that you've been wanting to buy, or those new pair of jeans. Looking sharp is an important aspect of physical attraction, and if she sees you looking great in unfamiliar clothes, she'll sense that there's been forward movement, if not wholesale change.

Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them.

Ask them if they want to save the relationship. If they say yes, tell them (calmly) that you don't feel like they are putting forth the effort. Tell them exactly what you need from them, if possible. Couples counseling might be beneficial in this case. If they don't respond positively that they want to save the relationship, move on. You can't change their mind.
Last year we were about to marry, everyone was veryy happy, hi family and my family met then his mother ask for few details and wanted to do enquiry and all of my family and she said she wont allow me to work, i said yes to everthing as i was in love and wanted to marry him everything was soo good but just after the family meeting i said him that he shouldn’t speak a single word in front of his family as i was expecting him support me and say that its been 5 years we know each and already discussed everthing then i got upset from him , we faught and later on he said everthing to his mother and she start hated me , We broke up:(

Change it up. If you continue to respond in the way that's brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.
The dramatic turn around of our marriage is astounding. I decided to put together this site to share my experiences and the products I used that helped me so much. I’ve also collected an assortment of articles that make some interesting reading. But if you are serious about fixing your relationship, internet articles won’t do the trick. You absolutely must  invest the very small amount of money (about 1/3 of the cost of a first visit to a marriage counselor) to get proven, professional, expert advice that the products I recommend will give you. Your marriage is worth it. Don’t short change yourself.
My ex girlfriend dumped me last night. She said that I treated her better than anyone ever had before, and when I asked why she was breaking up with me she said it was because I treated her more like a friend then a girlfriend. I was okay with it and trying to start to move on but then she texted me and said “I hope that this break up wont be a permanent thing and that I hope someday soon we can get back together”I have no clue what to do but I would like to get back togethersince she was the only girl I actually readily liked. Please help.
Remember your relationship’s positive aspects. Think about first meeting your spouse, your first date, when you got engaged, your wedding, and when your children were born, if you have any. Try to remember how you felt during these pivotal moments. Remind yourself that you and your partner have shared many wonderful moments, and there’s a reason you’ve invested so much in each other.[12]

This is when I felt like I really met Mary. I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t jealous, and I wasn’t distracted—I had a clear mind, and I loved her. She was the kind of girl I’d always call back, and always take out for dates, and always hold hands with. She’s the kind of girl I never want to be away from. I’d seen what life looked like without Mary (cue damp Jimmy Stewart shouting “Mahhhhrrrrrryyyyy, don’t you remember me Mary?” in It’s a Wonderful Life), and I had a new appreciation for her. I loved the person she had turned into: She had built a life for herself in New York and was the person I know she always wanted to be—she grew her bangs out, too, which I guess is a big thing for women?
Then you cry, and maybe even look up to the sky, maybe even pray and think, ‘Please… Just let me get back with my ex. I hope my ex is just making a mistake and he/she wasn’t thinking it through. I know we are perfect for each other. I want to just call my ex up and say “I love you”.’ Then you look at your phone every half an hour, check your messenger, facebook, instagram, twitter, and heck… email inbox, to see if your ex would want to talk to you, all ready to get back together.

Me and my boyfriend broke up because I found out he was talking (flirting) with other girls. He refused to stop talking to them once i found out and his guilty reaction towards me was so nasty and defensive. He then informed me that it’s because he wasn’t ready for a committed relationship and was still scarred from the messy break up with his ex. We were together for about 4 months and overall our relationship was amazing, we had an amazing connection and yes there were little arguments (like normal couples) but overall nothing ever serious. The whole talking to other girls thing was a shock because of this but I guess his reasoning was understandable (even though it’s still so wrong what he did). Once we broke up we argued pretty badly for a couple of weeks but then we eventually met up and decided to stop arguing and he apologised in person for his wrong doings and from then we decided to try and remain friends. He told me that overall I am the perfect woman for him but his head just wasn’t ready for a relationship and had we met later down the line then I would be the type of person he would want to settle down with. It’s been a few months since the break up and the last time we spoke was about 2 months ago. Do you think I should initiate these steps to get him back, or should I just still leave him alone?


Thanks for this post, Jason. After I read it I had a little hope that me and my ex-boyfriend COULD get back together. But then I scrolled down to the comments and I read everyone else’s comments, apprehensions, fears, emotional and psychological hardships that they’re going through and I wondered — if this is how a person is making us feel, is it worth it?
Thanks so much for this. I broke up with my boyfriend and want him back. We just kept arguing i was jealous.. he said he only had eyes for me me and i was the love of his life. It has hurt him so much i know.. but im so willing to change.. i followed your tips i look great, have fun and he still looks at me like i am the one but says sex with no emotional strings is how he wants to do it for now as he is still hurting and probablyv thinks ill do it all again..but i won’t.I hope he comes back totally.. at the moment im working on trying to get him tovstart taking me to his local bar with him again.. we went all the time before. im taking itvslowly anyway. I never want to hurt him again
I’d been having pretty hard time at work and school for the last year and was very stressed and clingy. But now I’ve sorted all that out and am feeling like the person I used to be in 2011. Since the breakup I’ve felt like I was going off the rails going on dates and doing activities and just anything to try to make me feel better (this is both when I was and was not talking to him). None of it makes me feel better, I cant stop thinking about him because he feels like my other half.
If you want your relationship to get back on track, then you need to be humble and accepting what happened. You can’t get your ex boyfriend back by pointing fingers at him. You have to be humble throughout the whole discussion as this is the best approach to tackle this situation, and it will make your ex comfortable with you which will mend broken hearts.
Please help me… My boyfriend and i broke u because he had to leave for college and we couldn’t be together. We both still care about each other and having to leave each other was really hard. Every time we see each other its very awkward and we barely even talk. Its been very hard for me and I miss him so much but i cant text him because he gives very short responses and then usually just stops responding so we never text or anything because I don’t want to annoy him. Is there any possibility of us getting back together? We never have said I love you to each other but lately I’ve been saying that I love him. Our relationship was nearly perfect. We never had a fight or argument and we were very close. Please help me I need him in my life so if you think we will get back together or if you have any tips please… I am heartbroken.

Try not to jump right into another relationship straight away in a bid to make your ex jealous. I’m not saying ‘’don’t focus on yourself’’ but this is not the way to go about things as it only gives a negative message to your ex which may backfire if they do the same thing. so, what can you do to focus on yourself? You can start from appearance (new haircut, new clothes, get down to the gym, eat healthier, etc) keeping a good attitude and staying open-minded. Upgrade yourself with your outer appearance and inner attitude. Be the best version that you can be of yourself. If you’re really wanting to move on, then maybe you want to check out The Best Chat Up Lines to use on girls.
my bf and I were in love. we were happy and everything was perfect. then one day he asked me to sext him…I told him I was uncomfortable with doing that and I broke up with him. I kind of went into a depression. some days I felt suicidal. he started dating my “friend” but they don’t seem happy. they’ve been dating since October and they haven’t kissed or anything. I miss him so incredibly much and everyday I regret breaking up with him. he and I are still best friends, and I told him I still love him (even though he’s dating someone). all he said was “I don’t know what to say…” and I cry myself to sleep every night blaming myself for what happened. he’s a great guy and I need him back. I don’t cut myself or do anything like that, but I’m getting worse. I need help. does anyone have any advice?!
my ex and i broke up a couple of months ago. He broke up with me because he did not want a relationship anymore and i cheated on him. We dated for almost two years..After our break up he wanted to be friends and i didn’t. i want to be more and this kept going back and forth. We did hu a couples of times and he would say i love you. He said he wanted something more but not a relationship and not exclusive. I told we can talk to be something or we don’t talk anymore so we agreed on not talking.. We were on good terms and we said i love you and stop talking for a few days. But i texted and he said he doesn’t want to talk to me and he doesn’t want to be friends anymore.. so i need advice should i just give him time and see what happens? what should i do? I still have feeling for this guy and i don’t know if he even does.
If you don’t normally do the cleaning, dust a room or two. (Here’s a hint for you guys: Don’t say, “I thought I would help you out.” Women tend to think of housework as a shared responsibility since you live there, too. If you lived there alone, you would clean the place. “Helping” her means you think it’s her job. You may have a clear delineation of roles in your family where she does the cleaning, but it’s better if you have a good reason she will appreciate other than “helping.”)
I dated my girlfriend for 8yrs. We broke up one year ago but kept trying to get back together. She just officially dumped me a couple of weeks ago. Her reasons were that I took too long to change my ways and that she didn’t know what she wanted right now. I still keep trying to show her that I love her more than anything. All she does all day long is work and go to college classes. I feel that there is still a small chance that it will work between us. Our past fights were always about my job, I was insensitive, too much partying, not paying attention to her needs and that she wanted me to better myself. Her birthday is coming up and I bought her a gift. Is that bad? I don’t know what I should do. I really need some help. I love this girl and I don’t want almost nine years to go down the toilet. I did change my ways by the way. I’m also applying for a good job. Hopefully I get it. We lived together and now I live with my sister for the time being. So I say again what advise do u give me.
My ex broke up with me saying that he just lost himself in the relationship. For the first eight months that we knew each other, I was not ready to dated to a very bad relationship before him, so he continued to pursue me and try to prove that he was different. He was the perfect boyfriend for the almost three years that we were together, and he was also the one who really wanted a commitment and future. We had our entire lives together planned out from the wedding to traveling to kids. We ended up spending all of our time together and not doing anything else with anybody else. Needless to say we smothered each other to the point where we were arguing over stupid things. We had classes together for another month after our breakup which was very hard for me. Initially he was very nice to me and would be willing to talk with me about the breakup any time I was upset. He told me that he just didn’t want to be in a relationship for maybe years to come because he really needed to focus on finding himself. By the end of our relationship, I think we had both lost ourselves, and I do feel like the breakup was necessary in order for us both to get our own identities back. He was very depressed at the end of our relationship, and it was during that last month that things started to fall apart. He started seeing a therapist as well. However, after a few weeks he jumped into something with somebody else (His status still said single) and changed his Facebook profile picture to a picture of the two of them together. He started being very mean to me over text and made it clear that he was very happy. People are saying that he wants a reaction out of me. So, I stopped contacting him. It’s been maybe two weeks, but I blocked him on social media because it was too hard for me to see those things and I didn’t want to make myself crazy. His whole family are still friends with me on Facebook. Everybody seems to think he will be back eventually, but that I need to focus on myself in the meantime. I was wondering if you think blocking him would ruin our chances of getting back together. I’m also afraid that he will be afraid to give things another chance because he’ll be afraid we will fall into old habits. I want him to see that I’m making positive changes and learning from this, but I don’t know how. I’m afraid that by avoiding his problems things are only getting worse for him. I need advice please!!!

Look, I know how hard it is to not contact the one person on this earth you want to see and speak to more than anyone else. I fully get it. But just because we want something doesn’t mean it’s in our best interest to go after it. It’s like going to the gym. Sometimes it’s really hard to summon the strength to get yourself there, but you do it because your goal is to be fit and healthy. Here, your goal is to get your ex back and have a healthy, loving, mutually fulfilling relationship. That can only come about when you’ve taken time to gain clarity and perspective.
Look, I know how hard it is to not contact the one person on this earth you want to see and speak to more than anyone else. I fully get it. But just because we want something doesn’t mean it’s in our best interest to go after it. It’s like going to the gym. Sometimes it’s really hard to summon the strength to get yourself there, but you do it because your goal is to be fit and healthy. Here, your goal is to get your ex back and have a healthy, loving, mutually fulfilling relationship. That can only come about when you’ve taken time to gain clarity and perspective.
Be calm and confident in yourself and what you think you can contribute to her life. In the time you've taken to improve yourself, hopefully you will have evidence of that change. If the cause of your breakup was that you did not have enough time for her, show that you've altered your work schedule and made time to volunteer or pick up that sailing hobby you've always dreamed about. That will show you're willing to make time for things that matter to you. See where I'm going with this?
In my career, many girls keep on mentioning either one of above issues to explain the reason for their breakup. It is very important to keep in mind that your relationship doesn’t come to an end just because you said certain words or did something that lead to breakup. If your relationship with your ex boyfriend was base on solid foundation then few words or actions can’t come over the long work you did before.
On my birthday on August 23rd…. I couldn’t tell you what it was….. it was like life changing really…. it hit at once and I missed him, I love him (which I always have but I never loved him like I do now), I cried probably the first time over him or really anything in probably 3 years and that was only because my grandfather passed away whom was also like my dad. But now I feel that it’s almost too late… He doesn’t say it like that but he just says to give him time, not to call / text him (but then said tonight I could if I wanted to), and that he would need to think about it because of this other girl. He said something like “she may say or do something I don’t like and that be the end of it” and then was like “I could tell her tomorrow that I wanna work things out with you, you never know” and then the next thing you know he’s in a bad mood because he said I waited so long to actually express myself to him….

Come up with a list together. While discussing your relationship, work on a list together. Figure out what you both think the problems are in your relationship, and discuss how it started. It may be hard to have an open discussion, but it's important to get both of your points of view on where the relationship went wrong. In addition, you can use help from educational websites to help identify what's healthy about your relationship and what's not.[7]
Joe Dillon, MBA is a professional divorce mediator and founder of Equitable Mediation Services. Joe is passionate about helping couples avoid the destruction of attorney-driven litigation and knows first-hand that the right information, combined with the right expertise and the right kind of support can make the challenging process of divorce less expensive, less time-consuming and less stressful for divorcing couples and their families.

I managed to push him away he has now told me he needs time and space which is killing me inside… We also worked so well together but as soon as we were apart I would think he is cheating on me etc… I now I can see how stupid I was for bringing all the hurt and distrust into this relationship… I just hope I haven’t lost him forever… How are you coping?

I was really anxious and worried at that point of time and I sensed something was wrong and I’ve kept telling him and saying I was wrong and I shouldn’t be so sensitive and paranoid, asking him questions everytime. He said he couldn’t see a future in us seeing that I’ll always ask him questions that made him uneasy everytime we meet. I reflected and thought back, I really shouldn’t be like this and I told him I’ll change on my end and all. But he seems determined to be really ending of this relationship with me.


Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.
Hi, we work at same place and she sit just front of me so we see each other 100 times a day. Not able to apply no contact rule properly. Two months in no contact but not working as both are at same place. But whenever I text her in urgent no reply from her. In a month we will not be together, so should I wait to be apart when she will feel it or everything in her seems dead for me. I can’t take her rigid nature of not texting back or receive emergency call. What she want. I am not well and can’t focus on my personal life and career which is not good for me.
he’s been exerting effort to focus on this other girl and probably hopes that they have a future together. i can sense though that he’s not totally happy. he’d still tell me that he misses the way we communicate. though i still sense his resistance, it bothered me why he still had to tell me that most of the time he can’t help but miss me in their conversations. i’m not sure what to make of his actions but i do believe that he still has strong feelings for me.
Do not cyber stalk him and do not pass by anywhere he frequents. Stop making these really “necessary” excuses to get in touch with him or ask him some pathetic question that you need to know right now. If you have to break your fingers, do not contact him in any way, avoid it at all costs. No more crying “I miss you, I’m nothing without you” crap. Back up. You are about to give this assbag the ride of his life.
Lauren I broke up with my gf of like 3 yrs with the exact same thing she said she need time to think she didn’t know what she wanted.Clearly I wasn’t making her happy,this was about a month ago I’ve met her once for coffee and I can hardly remember her laughing more.I think I still have a chance,I recently lost my job too so this really doesn’t help.I can’t get her out of my head I am constantly thinking about her.We do talk but I don’t think I can leave her alone as much as I she does with me.
After being in relationship with my husband for nine years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is doctorogul@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.
Well I think you have kicked yourself in the A** my friend, first of you did not respect his space once going home after he already assured you that things were ok by making up with you before leaving back home. Secondly you felt the need to idk… “Make sure” he was REALLY ok and still “Wanted me” you felt the need to turn simi stalker on him when everything was ok if you just went home went about your life kept normal communication open keep yourself up go to the gym, keep up with school & friends but no you turn all your attention focusing on issues that weren’t even there. So now he’s at the point to where in his eyes i have to be honest you are emotionally unstable and are possibly the kind of girl that given the right situation or get your angry enough you might do harm to him or get physical in some way YES you put yourself in the CRAZY box! Nothing right now is going to change his mind right now the best thing you can do is LEAVE HIM ALONE, cut all communication with him let him get in touch with you i repeat DO NOT CONTACT HIM AGAIN! if he chooses to get in touch with you he will if he doesn’t…. well you know why.
The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.

After being in relationship with my husband for nine years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is doctorogul@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.
My boyfriend and I just broke up a few days ago. He said it wasn’t working out between us. He said that we argue too much and that I get frustrated way too easily. We did argue and I would get mad over little things. But we would always talk out the issues and for the most part move on from them. Recently I had become really jealous of this girl that works with us. I felt like she was extra flirty with him and it made me feel insecure. I talked to him about it and told him to say something to her about it. He declined saying that it would make there working relationship awkward. He said I should trust him and he does not like her. I kept pressing. The next day he broke up with me. I really care about him and I want him back. I’ve been texting him constantly and I feel bad for doing that. I will give him some space to think and hopefully this will help us. I really want us to be together.
Following this advice helped me save my relationship. At the start I the break up I was messaging him a lot and begging to get back together. I looked stupid. After reading this I tried the no contact rule and focused on bettering myself and finding distractions when I felt the urge to talk to him. Just pretending to move on helped me feel a lot better about myself. We were later forced to work together and I kept my head up ignored him the best I could besides work relations and showed him that I can move on. Shortly after that he broke down to me about missing me and doing anything to have me back.

The second step to getting your ex back is forgiveness. You'll never be able to be together again if you can't forgive each other. Initiate this yourself. Why did you break up? Did you cheat, did he cheat, did the love evaporate, or you got bored, what is it? It doesn't really matter the point is that you give each other a clean slate. Don't talk about what happened in the past with him.

We’ll i hope theres someone out there that can truly help me with all BS aside… Im senior at my hight school and my girlfriend is a junior. I know my girlfriend left me for pressuring her of wanting to hang out more when she was busy with school… But i have an explanation for my behavior…soo me and my girl friend where going to be 1 year in may 8th of 2014 but she broke up with me may 4th :,( … Im not going to lie i would get mad at my girlfriend but its only cuz i wanted to talk to her more…try to understand that i started going out with her my junior year with 2 months of school left and then i got use to seeing her everyday and hanging out with her nearly everyday…so once school started , it was hard for me to make that transition of not seeing/hanging out with her so i would finish my hwk and work hard so i could talk to her yet sometimes she would procrastinate so most of the time she called to say goodnight and i just felt bad cuz i really love this girl and wanted to talk to her ….im not going to lie we both have our attitudes but ill admit me more than her …she never did nothing but love me…she didnt judge me even though im pretty skinny yet i would be an ass and jude her at time …ima admit compared to her i was an ass …all i really wanted to do was keep communication but i added more stress on top of her school stress …now shes gone and its been 5 days since she broke up with me on may 4th and its just really hard cuz shes tells me that shell think of me and her getting back together but that she wont consider it…so it just brings me down….we’ve been through so much for her to just cut it …her mom and dad were surprised that she broke up with me cuz they even said i respected her a lot …so im trying not to listen to her negative comments because she might not mean it and shes just saying it right now so i figured ill give her space but i really need some advice to win her back …i want her back and i just cant let go…don’t think that because were teenagers its just young foolish love …i really do love her and believe anything is possible …after all we did start of as strangers and she rejected me the first time and after 2 months i asked her and won her…this girl is really special and i know i took her for granted and that was wrong of me…HELP PLEASE… Ima give her space and not text her or do anything else so she can hopefully think of things but i honestly need advice..please


Luckily, the period of no contact will give you the time to put in place practices and structures to help you drop your stories and see things in a more positive light. Journaling, meditating, and yoga also helps. Maybe it sounds a little too new-age for you, but intense emotional experiences can send your thoughts into overdrive, so it’s really important to try and find a stillness within and learn to quiet your mind, or at least slow it down a bit.
Look, I know how hard it is to not contact the one person on this earth you want to see and speak to more than anyone else. I fully get it. But just because we want something doesn’t mean it’s in our best interest to go after it. It’s like going to the gym. Sometimes it’s really hard to summon the strength to get yourself there, but you do it because your goal is to be fit and healthy. Here, your goal is to get your ex back and have a healthy, loving, mutually fulfilling relationship. That can only come about when you’ve taken time to gain clarity and perspective.
Spend time with good friends. One of the best ways to source yourself is to put yourself in the company of good friends. Good friends remind you of who you really are. They can give you a new perspective on things and can generally be fun to be around. Good friends serve as one of the best distractions as opposed to eating a bucket of ice cream and watching Netflix all alone because they can help to build you up in the meantime and leave you more empowered, stronger, and more in touch with who you are. It might be worth it to define who good friends are.Good friends are friends that help you choose the most useful and empowering interpretation of your situation. They don’t look to blame or help you wallow in self-pity. They have compassion for you, yet believe that you are inherently fine. They remind you of how fun you are and how much life itself has to offer. Spending time with people like this will feed your soul. During this time take advantage of everything these wonderful people in your life have to offer. Plan a trip. See that show you all always wanted to see. Do all the things that make you feel alive and do it in good company.
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