A huge obstacle to getting your ex back is fixating on the relationship, pining for what was lost, and wishing things would be different. Not only is it an obstacle to getting the relationship you want, but it is also an obstacle to your own sense of peace. Think about it. Most suffering arises from wanting the present moment or present situation to be different than what it is.
My ex and I dated for 2 years and we broke up 2 months ago. Things were sweet at first ,we clicked in almost every thing,but things turned sour when we both started college…we were both stressed and impatient and eventually we broke into arguments and fights. I complained a lot and started to become unappreciative.Even after the break up, he was still kind to me… I knew the reason why we broke up and I’ve changed,Ive become a better person. (my family and MY EX told me, not my own opinion) but he still doesn’t want to get back together. He suddenly became rude to me and it has been 3 weeks since we last contacted each other. Im not hoping for him to come back anyone soon, but deep down I still love him. Should I even try to win him back again even though I know the consequences? Or just move on and get a new guy?

For real, change yourself for the better; let him see that and he'll want to be part of it. But you won't let him back into your world overnight – even if you really, really want to get him back, don't. You both need some time to appreciate each other for other things then sex. And when the sex does come, it better be mind-blowing. Then again, don't be clingy and don't call him every day after that – love all over again – instead, take your time. Let him think about you and worry a bit.
We went back to our place and he told me he wanted to break up with me for sure. I tried to reason with him again, to give me more time But he was sure, he had felt bad about changing his mind before apparently; after a couple hours of heated conversation, of me trying to convince him, he even told me he didn’t love me anymore ( which I’m not sure about, was he saying that so that i let go?). I gave in and we took my flight ticket back home. We spent the day after together, it was awesome and incredibly sad. I didn’t want to believe I was letting go of a life I wanted so much. He was so sad too, it felt like he was hurting a lot too.
My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. He said he craves for independence and he he still loves me but that’s just what’s right to do. He pushed me away whenever I try to get close or hug or lean my head against his back. I really love him and I want to get him back but we are flatmates, we live together and I don’t know how to do the no contact? And I’ve gone home for a few days and I didn’t tell him where I was going. I’ll be going back in a few days and I’ll be seeing him again. What should I tell him if he asks me where I went? I don’t want to look like a loser grieving so much for our relationship. And I really want to get him back.
Hlo ,on 27th June he broken up with me,we spnd lot of time together,he is my first love and everything for me,ours relationship was to good evn in school all teachers know about tht we are in relationship, all students said made for each other ,I think about him always every minute ,I was wanting a2nd chance to solve the problem but he decided to breakup evn he doesn’t give any reason why he want to break up with me,i had sent him lot of msgs to convenience him,bt I also force him to continue the relationship otherwise I do sucide and all ,I know there is my mistake and I’m feeling guilty about this ,I was do this only because I don’t want let him go bt after doing this he starts hating.now he don’t evn want to talk me ,it’s hard it’s realize that I will never be with this boy again ,he is the boy who does not want to make me cry bt now he hates me because of my reason bt later I apologise him and try to convince him and pleased him to talk evn as a frnd but he doesn’t so please please please give me some advice how I get him back because I don’t want to leave him in any condition
If you enter “how to get my girlfriend back” into the search criteria of any search engine, you will get a ton of advertisements, starting with flowers and jewelry vendors, and ending with fortune tellers and mediums. Acting on these is silly. If you start buying your girlfriend presents and flowers, trying to get her to love you again, you will never reach a positive outcome. You have to know how to act in this case! Most articles on the Internet that are related to advice on how to get a woman back are nothing but Internet traffic gobblers. They do zero in helping men with their problems!

We also know that there are exceptions. There are relationships that probably should not stay together, such as those with physical violence, cruel and ongoing verbal abuse, extreme anger management issues, or long-term unaddressed substance abuse, for example. If you're in a situation like that, please eek the help of your local crisis management center.


Apply the love languages. That is, in your interactions with each other, try to use the other person's love language to show that you care. If your partner's love language is service, try doing little things around the house to show you care or try taking his or her car to the wash. If your partner's love language is time, make sure to figure out ways to spend more time with the person on a regular basis.[32]
So it’s been about 4 months since me and my x broke up. We broke up because she got jealous about other women who were giving me attention, and i lied about one of these girls at a party and i just got too comfortable and didn’t show interest. Well then after we broke up i made out with one of the girls and i told her about it and it devestated her. I told her the kiss meant nothing and I was thinking about her when it happened. We’ve hung out like 7 times since the break up and things got pretty affectionate 4 out of the 7 times. It’s just been a rough past summer for me in general with my grandpa passing away and adjusting to all this change. I do love the girl and I’m attempting to get her back by going to her school which is an hour away and serenading her wih a guitar right on campus haha. We’ve broken up before about 2 years ago and I did the same thing just outside of her house. What do you think of this? She has me blocked on facebook and snapchat, yet we still keep in touch through text and phone calls and shes friends with my mom on facebook still haha. And I still remain very close with her family
Dude i went through the same thing I lied to her 2 she came to know and she got very angry and started ignoring me I asked her to forgive me but she did not budge I texted her so many times that sge was goin to block me but the last time I spoke to her I told her I was sorry and I knew that I had screwed up I couldnt expect her to come running back for me I told her I loved her and id wait by the sidelines no matter how long it took her to forgive me be it a day or a month id patiently wait and I also told her id be with her through everything and support her decisions whatever she took and gues what man she forgave me 2 days later and were back together im so fucking happy I hope this helped
Spend time with good friends. One of the best ways to source yourself is to put yourself in the company of good friends. Good friends remind you of who you really are. They can give you a new perspective on things and can generally be fun to be around. Good friends serve as one of the best distractions as opposed to eating a bucket of ice cream and watching Netflix all alone because they can help to build you up in the meantime and leave you more empowered, stronger, and more in touch with who you are. It might be worth it to define who good friends are.Good friends are friends that help you choose the most useful and empowering interpretation of your situation. They don’t look to blame or help you wallow in self-pity. They have compassion for you, yet believe that you are inherently fine. They remind you of how fun you are and how much life itself has to offer. Spending time with people like this will feed your soul. During this time take advantage of everything these wonderful people in your life have to offer. Plan a trip. See that show you all always wanted to see. Do all the things that make you feel alive and do it in good company.
If you want your relationship to get back on track, then you need to be humble and accepting what happened. You can’t get your ex boyfriend back by pointing fingers at him. You have to be humble throughout the whole discussion as this is the best approach to tackle this situation, and it will make your ex comfortable with you which will mend broken hearts.
You need to do some self therapy. Start a virtual diary (open Word and start writing). Write about what part you played in the relationship failing, which you already know – your insecurities. Next, you need to really come to acceptance with yourself. Ok, so you’re unsure about a few things, but why? What happened in your past that is making you so needy with your bf/ex bf? What ever it is, stop it. Raise your communication level and just tell him “I’m insecure about _____ because _____ happened. So please help reassure me that I chose you because you’re not an @$$hole.” Just be honest, what do you have to lose? Oh that’s right, your bf because you accuse him of doing something he’s not. Yes that was harsh, but you have to be harsh on yourself. Take a moment to fix yourself, otherwise you have no change with him or anyone else.
This will immediately trigger the same reactions in your ex-girlfriend that accepting the breakup from the beginning would have had. She’ll want to know exactly what triggered your change of heart and whether or not you’re getting on with your life. Your ex is counting on the chase, even if she’s not ready to restart a relationship with you. You’re reversing roles and making her want to chase you instead.
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”
I am a 16 year old male.. I have been with this girl for about 6 months we have had out ups and downs but I honestly believe that I am in love with this girl.. A few weeks ago her parents got devorsed and she told me she couldn’t have a boyfriend right now because it was too much so I have her her space.. After about 3 days she came back to me saying she was sorry and she loves me and wants me back.. Obviously I took her back because I love this girl and can’t live without her.. For about a week after that everything was really good! Then after that I started getting some weird signs from her like she was starting to not really make time for me and ignore me and that type of stuff… So I went to talk to her yesterday and she was cryin and said that she was soo sorry and that she cares about me soo much but she though she was ready to be in a relationship but she actually isn’t ready to be I’m a relationship.. She says I havnt done anything wrong but I just don’t get it.. I love this girl and she says she loves me and cares about me but if this is true why is she leaving me??? Please help me my life is so shitty withought this girl :(
Impossible as it may seem, I have created techniques which transform relationships… even when only one person is trying! My typical client is a spouse that wants to save their relationship when their partner has already “given up.”Most therapists work from the assumption that, if only one person wanted to work on the relationship, it was impossible to fix. I don’t approach marriage crises this way. I approach them like an algebra equation. If one side of the equation is changed, the other side must change! Incredibly, my clients have achieved an 89.7% success rate. . . even if only one spouse starts the process! (Findings based on surveys.  Individual results can vary.)
Lee Baucom’s Save the Marriage package of materials is a good starting point, as is John Gottman’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Baucom does a great job in showing you how to get a different perspective on all aspects of your marriage (and even on perspectives themselves). Gottman describes the dynamic happily married couples have that keep the negative feelings they have for one another from overwhelming their positive feelings. The book includes short tests and exercises designed to help you understand that dynamic, and to get it for your marriage.
Here is where he gets to see the beautiful woman you are in person. He gets to witness your positive vibe and new and improved look in the flesh. Like the reach out stage, there are no “rules” here. The light and fun vibe you brought to the conversations you’ve previously had should shine through just as bright. If your positive vibe is derived from genuine positive thoughts and emotions, interacting with him should be easy and effortless.
My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago, this article really kinda helped, when we broke up he was always hanging out with his friend while I was working my but off, and then when I didn’t have to work he would ignore me all the time, when he was with his friend. And while he was with me he would be glued to his phone texting his friend. It drove me crazy, and I got really jealous about it, the day before we broke up we had made plans earlier in the week to go out to dinner and see a movie that had just come out and I wanted to see it. I woke up that morning to him texting his friend, and he told me that we were going to see this movie, (the complete opposite one that I wanted to see) and it started at 7. Of course naturally I got mad about it. I asked him why he changed the plans, and he said that’s the only movie that Dana could see (his friends girlfriend) and I got even more mad, because it was supposed to be a day with just us, but I let it go because he came up to me and hugged me and said I love you. on the way to dinner he said “I don’t really feel like seeing a movie today so why do we all go do something with people” inside I was annoyed, but I didn’t let it show. After dinner we were going to hang out with people and he said I think I’m going over to my friends house tonight, and go over to yours tomorrow, I asked him why when today was my day off and I closed tomorrow, he said well he wants me to help him finish this project, (this made upset me because I work full time and only get to see him a couple times out of the week) I told him why your always with him, and today is my only day off. he got mad and said I just wont hangout with him anymore, and I said no don’t do that you can still hang out with him but this is my only day to do stuff, that night he ended up lying to me saying he was going home and the ended up going to his friends, then the next day he lied to me saying he was going over there cause he didn’t last night and then later that night we broke up, And the next day he met with me to give each other our stuff back and he said, this is only temporary until I get a job, we can still hang out and talk and stuff, and after that, he has barely said anything to me, we hung out once and then he started fooling around with me and I shouldn’t of done it but I couldn’t help it I was with him for over a year almost two, and after that he barley said a word to me, and he and started lying to me more and more and now I just don’t know what to do, and I talked to him and he said don’t worry Its just temporary I don’t know if he was just saying that to make me feel better or he was really telling the truth. If anyone could help me that would be really appreciated.
Unfortunately, partners often go through mutual misunderstandings, because no one teaches us how to act in a relationship. What we see on TV and in movies, what we are told by many friends, about the behavior of men and women is most often very far from reality. So if you are blaming yourself, I am telling you to stop! It is possible that not everything in the demise of your relationship is your fault! If you would have known exactly what to do to keep your couple in a happy state, I’m sure you would have done everything that depended on you. Most likely you just didn’t have the right information. But everything can still be fixed...

My boyfriend just broke up with my about two and a half weeks ago. Even though we’re only 17, our relationship was very mature and strong. We both talked about future plans such as marriage and kids and we were both on the same page. We have been dating for about 1.5 years. We were such a strong couple, completely in love. Our relationship was very serious. He gave me a promise ring and we always said we were going to be together forever. His family loved me and my family loved him. We were really a great couple, having mutual interests.

i think trying too hard messes things up,he did not want to spend time with you in the first place so by you ignoring or spacing yourself from him you are just making it worse,what you guys realy need is to sit down and talk it through,he is your man so it should be easy to see and judge from the conversation if it is worth it or not.give it try drive to his place or work place and just ask for 5min den secretely make it 1hour.


Similar situation, Charlotte. I’ve been going through some rough anxiety and depression and have been moody a lot and he decided it is not right for him. We had planned a life together. We were so sure we were meant for each other. I am trying so hard to get back to myself with a change of medication. It’s difficult because we do work together. I’m devastated and lost.
I met my Soulmate 6 months ago, but we got together 2 months ago… He lives in London and I live in Germany, so it was a long distance relationship…. I heared bout him before we met cuz he is best friends with my cousins…. The thing now is that my (ex) boyfriend has two roommates (both male) and i had a thing with one of them like 3 years ago…. at that time i didnt even know my boyfriend and he didnt know his now roommate cuz they share a flat for like 2 months…. My boyfriend is so upset cuz i didnt tell him about that, so he broke up… i visited him in London before (2 Times) and this dude was there too and we talked normal cuz this “thing” was long ago and Normung serious…but my bf is just so hurt and i dont know how to make it up again… do you think he can forgive me ?
Apologize. Think deeply about anything you did or didn't do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the relationship, and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology. Take full responsibility for the offense, without blaming your ex, giving excuses, or expecting an apology (or even forgiveness) in return. It may very well be that your ex contributed to the situation, but you cannot apologize for someone else; you can only apologize for yourself. Leave him or her out of it and odds are the apology will be reciprocated.
So your breakup sucked and everything went horribly wrong. Welcome to almost every breakup in the world. It happens. No matter what caused the breakup or how bad it was, there are ways to get your ex-girlfriend back. If you take the correct actions at the correct time you can find yourself back together quicker than you imagined. It’s simply a matter of knowing what to do and when.
Got a text from my GF immediately returning from a vacation together. She said she didn’t feel as invested in our relationship as I did. We’d been dating 2 and a half months, extremely attracted to each other, the sex was incredible for the both of us, & we spent a good bit of time together. Within the first month, she was talking about settling down & getting a place together. Admittedly, I was a little taken back by it, but handled it appropriately. Obviously it showed she had been rather interested in me and then some. The breakup happened via text as I said before & about not being as invested in me as I was with her. Not even a week later, she’s already texting me & admittedly I respond, but it’s usually silly stuff. I want to be back with her in the worst way but can’t get a good read on what the hell happened or what’s happening? Any recommendations on how to proceed? Thanks.
I know I posted something similar to this but I would like more advice from everyone. Would appreciate it. So you see,my ex boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago after being with him for 16 months. Im 23 and he’s 26. He said he has thought it through and wants to be friends. I am so heartbroken that it has been so difficult for me to do school work and everything else. He’s someone I truly love and I thought we had something special. He was someone who I thought I was going to marry someday. He told me he loved me and would never leave me, well I guess I got fooled on that one. We did talk about our future about getting married and what not and so I need help in showing him what he’s missing and see how lucky of a wonderful woman he had in his life. So I need help in getting him back permanently.To also add that he told me that he can’t imagine his life without me and it would be weird if I wasn’t in his life anymore so I don’t know if that means something or not.
According to research, the number one cause of the breakup of romantic relationships is failure to communicate. If your relationship was otherwise happy, this problem can often be fixed by setting clear expectations and openly discussing frustrations before things explode in a big fight. Other issues can be harder to overcome, like infidelity or jealousy; but with work and counseling, even these types of issues are possible to work through.
So your breakup sucked and everything went horribly wrong. Welcome to almost every breakup in the world. It happens. No matter what caused the breakup or how bad it was, there are ways to get your ex-girlfriend back. If you take the correct actions at the correct time you can find yourself back together quicker than you imagined. It’s simply a matter of knowing what to do and when.
Dated my girl for 6 years and left her to go become a dive instructor on a island. I was gone 2 years but Came back 3 times and instantly back in the sack. I would crew boats back to the states and find a excuse to see her. Last time was normal I came by and we took a couple weekend trips and had sex and exchanged I love yous. Now 3 weeks went by and I came back down to start our relationship back up and within 10 minutes of her picking me up from the airport she tells me she’s seeing someone. I played it cool and when we got back to our old condo she told me I’d have to sleep in the guest room. Still played it cool. A little griping and OK good night. Played it cool for two days and told her I was back to get back together. Trying to explain you told me you loved me three weeks ago and didn’t want me to leave now I can’t sleep in the same room. I’ve been nice and not making myself look needy or desperate and got some nice smiles and laughs. Now tonight I sit to talk after she got home from work and she’s really resisting. Not cold but I tried to get I love you out of her and can’t. Fucking three weeks come on. Still sleeping on the guest bed tonight. I’m here for the rest of the week then going back up near Chi. to do a job for some cash I then wanted to move back in with her. She’s telling me to go up and see how I feel about her after the two month job. But I think she is just trying to make the rest of the week more bearable My birthday is in a couple days and part of the reason I came here was to spent it with her. thought that would give me a nice advantage if anything did go weird. It’s not working. starting to feel really bummed and discouraged. She’s been saying she’s working late and starting to think she’s going to see the boyfriend after work. When she told me she was seeing someone she told me he was out of town this week and would be back this weekend. I can’t believe that this girl I loved so much for so many years would welcome me back three weeks ago but wont now or return a I love you.
I won’t convince you that everything will be easy. You will have to try much harder than you would if it’s been only days since she left, but any situation has a solution. It’s a lot easier to get your girlfriend back if it’s been less than three months since your separation. However, I would like to note that my method works even if it’s been a long time.
so Ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year, just a week before the anniversary he ended it. ive been trying to stop crying but i simply cant. specially the fact that many thing remind me of the good memories i had with him. he was the first real bf i had, and i was his first relationship. so having mistakes and some arguments were normal i think, so i neglected them. the good thing about him was that even after the times it was my mistake and he was hurt, we spent the night crying and apologizing and saying i was sorry, and the day after that he was totally normal. the longest time that we didnt talk was like 24 hours coz he had no reception in the mountains. the real question for me is that the usual relationship tips never worked on him. playing hard to get, staying out of touch or trying to make him jealous would just make him say: ” stop that… i know what you’re doing!” even in the beginning of or dating and after we knew each other well, i knew he was somehow different. you know he was like 50 shades, not the crazy kinky side of him of course but the part where he took care of me and protected me. despite his age, hes been working for long and its been almost two years that he provides for his family. he pays for the mortgage, buy food and all that. and he also goes to college in another city. he does not party like boys his age do and all the other boyish stuff. from the start, we both kinda knew that we cant last forever. i live in a country that family matters the most and in that part we were the opposite. but we are too young ( 22 ) for getting married or something like that, and i know that you might say im too young for being hopeless of finding someone else. the fact is, arranged marriages kinda rule in my family ( i live in middle east if u need to know) and its not just underestimating myself but im short ( 5 feet only ) my hair wont grow longer than my shoulder, my noes is too big in my face, and believe me, i have consulted with different doctors about my problems, but they need solutions or surgeries that my dad wont let me do. even my mom says im not beautiful. my sister mocks my face and body. let alone people in college and so on. im in a family that love and support does not exist, and coz im not that fun and outgoing because of my economic situation, i cant really go out with my girlfriend much. so im asking you this, coz Ive been asking myself: whats the harm? now that im alone i can understand how much the breaking up hurts, and i know that if it went on longer, it would have been even worse. but considering all those things i told you, isnt he the best for me right now? and considering the fact that he always acts different, and also kinda mannish despite of his age, how can i get him back? its our anniversary in a few days, and his birthday in 3 weeks. would that be okay if i contact him in those days?
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