Throughout our courtship, I was utterly under the control of my ex-girlfriend. I let her walk all over me. She would call me at 4 A.M. and only stop calling when I answered. Being in college, I decided to drive down south where she lived to see if our relationship could work. I asked Mary to wait for me while I figured it out. She didn’t want to. Obviously.
My experience includes helping people restore relationships that lasted several months, or several years. Yes, each is different and we carefully considered such differences in our course.Often, women doubt their decisions and find themselves in an inner conflict. Your relationship could have many different problems – anything from the weariness of a common daily routine, habitual nagging, or problems with parents. We have experience in counseling and restoring relationships in such difficult situations, and we are going to share it with you in this book.
Tricia I was reading some comments and yours had a bit on me !! It’s been a while since I’ve been searching for “how to make my ex come back to me “, and I think a lot of thesearticles helped a little after our first breakup. However, if you want to make this person become madly be in love with you, then I can recommend you to someone who helped me. I had a result in 2 weeks.
Please help me. My relationship has been overcome by the devil and I can’t take it anymore. Me being with this man is only fate because I didn’t even like him before, but I grew to love him. Please put your hands on us and bless us with your grace and mercy. Bring you back into our lives because there’s no relationship without you. Make us understand our faults so that we can come at ease with eachother. Bring us back together to what we had in the beginning, have us come together in harmony and worship your name. Lord I come to you in the name of Jesus to help me, help me get my man back.
My god, you have described men to a ‘t’! Any man that’s rotunda having had a lot of ego & the truth is they are pussycsts underneath! Thankyou for this – it’s saved my heart as it’s reminded me of everything I already know but sealed it, no empathy and heart break after being left with our tiny baby after being very in love or atleast I thought we were! Apparently he wants to ‘be free’ and not be ‘ tied down’! Says he doesn’t love me, never did but tried! I’m a fairly ok attractive woman (just so you don’t think he pulled out bcs I have one leg or something) so much so that he begged me to get a tattoo of his initials as he loved me so much! but I pulled out. How does that work then????am mans madly in love with you, sees you vulnerable and kegs it! Nice ?
To think you can “make” someone want to be with you is illusory and will only lead to suffering and disappointment. The most important tip here is to be fully in the moment and truly OK with whatever the outcome is. Let me reiterate that. Being OK no matter the outcome is the single most beneficial advice I can offer. Fixating on your ex, secretly wishing that he comes back to you, or worrying that you won’t be able to win him over will not be beneficial to you in the long run.
Im so confused my bf of 1 yr broke up with me in October i was ready to move on when he started texting me and wanted to see me i keep saying no until i gave in and accepted.. we started hanging out and spending time together and all the rest.. Out of nowhere he decided that it’s time to move on and want us to stop seeing eachother, he keeps telling me that he loves me and it shows we have so much fun together, but he is so against to give out relationship another chance not now and not later he says… i dont know what to do we love each other and i know we can make this work.. he even told me that he is ready to see someone else already but there’s noone else in his life at this point. We just sent NYE together should i believe that he really moved on so quick or is he just trying to push me away.. Since we broke up I haven’t really give him time to miss me i have been there for him all the time, after the break up he started going out all the time and he had a car accident i was the one he called to be with him… Now im so confused any adviced??
Change it up. If you continue to respond in the way that's brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.
I love him. How much i want this to work. Please better our communication and help me to not lash out destructively and instead learn to control my emotions. Please allow me to heal from any hurt as well as heal him of any of my wrongdoings. Please St. Jude I need you now more than ever, I do not want to give up on this man. I pray he doesn’t give up on me and instead allow us to have another chance to make one another better. Please I beg of you. I do not want to start something new, this has too much potential to be great. I plead we have another opportunity to love each other wholeheartedly with no temptation.
It’s easy to get your girlfriend back, win her over, make her fall in love with you! But are you ready to become her “slave”? Will you be the man, of whom his friends say that he has no spine? Of course, if you have any self-respect you will never agree to such a trade. This is why we came up with the system of “Ways To Influence a Woman”. And you have a chance of getting it absolutely free!
You have the attraction back by this point already from the previous steps, so most of what you need to do now is just get out of your own way, and let the getting-back-together process happen on its own. In other words, you need to know what mistakes to AVOID, to prevent yourself from sabotaging the getting-back-together process, which is supposed to happen fairly naturally after the first 7 steps.
Give her some space. The first thing you need to do is give the girl some space. If you start knocking down her door and calling her every five minutes she'll only pull further away from you. The amount of space and time you give her depends on what happened when you tried to date her. If you ended a serious relationship, you'll need to give her more space than you would if you had just dated a few times.
The love that you and a woman share NEVER goes away. What happens is that the love gets pushed into the background because of all the negative feelings in the foreground. To get back in touch with the loving feelings you once experienced with each other, you need to make changes to your behavior and how you treat her. When you do this correctly, the love naturally comes flooding back.
My gilfriend just broke up with me. 5 days ago. She said through text and phone conversation that she was done . I asked for my stuff back that was left in her car.She took like 2 daus just to give it back. When we met up to exchange items. She gave me mine and disnt want her stuff back. After i realized that i was wrong for pushing her to say shes done i apologize with voicemail, email,and text. I only acted like an ass to her in the beginning thatpushed her to this point was because when i was upset at somthing she did i felt as if she ignored it as she didnt care to want to know why i was even upset. So i light weight metally abused her by talking shit and sending her shitty fowl mouth text messages. I only disnt it cause when i tries to express my feeling beofr the whole blow up ,sje kelt ignoring the facr that i was uoset about somthing.by ignoring text,call,and i was just building up more anger to be provoke into a shit head. Do stjff that was going to get her attentuon but was hurting her emotionally, mentally inside. She didnt want her stuff back and has continhed to ignore m. Completley as if i dont exists. I feel she never want to own up when shes wrong but she always expect me to right away. Or else. We were together for 8 months and she has to kids 7 and 9 . i feel like why throw 8 months down the drain like that. Atleas give a consideration that i was a faithful dude down to be in it for the long hall . We even talked about having more kid and getting married at some point. I mis her and never wantes it to be a permanent break up. I know if i pull at her more while she still mad and bitter shes just going to pul away more. On top of that ahe has the type of girlfriends who like bashing dudes cause thwy dont have one or not satisfied qjth the ones they have. She would always tell her friends about me and how much she loved me and even tod them all about our sexual life. Her mom and dad like me iv been around her family and every one of her family functions. Now im wondering damn is she really done. Or is she just so pissed off tell she hates me right now. Should i just totally forget she exist and wait until she comes around or should i fight for more. When she gave me back my stuff she got in her car but disnt leave right away its ike she waiting for 10 sec . I ignored it and got into my car and left cause my ego came into play juat as hers was when she said she was done for good. Help me.understand this.
I was with my ex for 9 years off and on. We broke up a lot. I was immature. Shes older. She told me I was her soul mate. I felt the same but couldnt show it. I would text her amazing words but when she would see me I couldnt back thenlm up or say them in person. I was depressed and lacked confidence. She finally had enough and told me she was done and I should move on. She has blocked me to and called me a stalker once or twice. Ive never even drove by her house or wrote her a letter. We were together 9 years! How can she call me a stalker? Because I love her and am trying to show her? Well, I realized in the last 3 months that I didnt appreciate her when I had the chance and I hurt her. I never gave her time or space enough to heal and so she took it. Now I dont think she has forgiven me for not giving her that space. I dont know. Fact is bro that women are capable of pure evil when they are hurt by the man they truly loved. When they stop talking all together its because they killed that amazing love they once cherished.
I’m in the exact same situation, I know he loves me, but he’s tierd of believing I would stop making problems out of everything, he tells me he has stopped believing he can love me, but that he really thinks he might stop thinking that after some time. This all happened in one week, I don’t believe he has stopped loving me, all the times he told me never to doubt his love, it can’t end like this. For now I’m going to give him time, not talk to him.. But I don’t know how to let him know I have changed and that we can truly bé together without any troubles and fusses. What happened with you Anabelle, have you solved it? I really need help
Love this blog. I’ve been broken up with my ex for 2 years and he really is who I’ve loved this whole time and not sure why we ever broke up. After all this time, I heard from him on Christmas Eve and we got together. It was a start but of course we aren’t together but I’m glad we’re talking. Things can only go up from here, right especially since we to no communication at all?
Dear God, i pray that you help my boyfriend and I during this time. I know that we have a lot to work through. I pray that we can communicate better with one another. I pray that there is no obstacle that we cannot over come. I know during this time you are testing our patience and for that, i pray that you guide me and show us the right way. Please Lord look after us, make us a stronger couple. I know we are meant to be, and i want our relationship to last forever. God i ask that you please see us through this. My heart is breaking and i need you Lord to help me. This is the greatest man i have ever known. I know you put him in my life for a reason, and i know through you that all things are good and possible. God i ask that you guide us in the right direction so we can become a better couple. Amen
St. Jude, please pray for me and watch over my relationship. I’m so confused as to why things aren’t going smoothly and why he doesn’t realize my love for him. I ask that you may help us, and strengthen us. That our love may grow as well as our faith, loyalty, respect and above all trust. I ask that you may help me and guide me into the path that I’m meant to be on, and also that he may not take it for granted. Please help me St. Jude, I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. I feel so hopeless, the disrespect, and I feel the drive to fight for me fading…. please help it stop. Please let things get better between us. Because it’s him, and I love him to much to stop fighting for him. I just pray that he feels the same for me. I trust in you. Amen.
Gandhi said a famous quote that can be perfectly adapted to this type of situation: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” In love, just like in life in general, we have the tendency to expect a lot from others and end up being disappointed. You can keep blaming others (including your significant other) but if you want to take control of the situation you’ll have to stop doing that. When you’re thinking, “I want to save my relationship and i need a marriage help” you have to become the example.
In the last years I also held over a thousand consultations, helping people revive their relationships. Recently, I vastly expanded my book, adding new techniques and considering all of the nuances of the last several years of consulting couples, to make sure that it can help as many people as possible. I also have over 9 years of experience in consulting men on how to meet and seduce women. I can freely say that I am a specialist in female psychology and know which buttons to push in order to get the necessary result. I used this information in the book, as well, so you can use it in your pursuit of your loved one.
The fact that you feel broken and dead inside without him isn’t going to make him say, “Well, in that case, we need to get back together immediately!” There is nothing sexy about that. All you will do is make him feel guilty, or you’ll make him go cold and withdraw from you because men don’t like feeling like the bad guy and he might completely emotionally detach himself from the situation.
I’m definitely NOT saying you should have been looking to have a kid with her recently – not at all. I’m just saying that the relationship should have been very gradually progressing into more and more serious territory. Women need to notice this kind of progress because it shows them that eventually the relationship could lead to her delivering what nature intended – kids.
Regardless of how a relationship ends, all breakups result in the same thing: Every guy on the planet -- seriously, every f*cking guy -- will wait until their exes have moved on from their relationships to want their exes back. This fact is so universally predictable that women anticipate and LIVE for the day when they have moved on and feel unaffected by their ex-boyfriends' efforts to win back their love. We basically fantasize about it.
For example, a boy comes to you in a bar and offers you to buy a drink. What will be your response? Most probably you would not value his friendship that much because you didn’t work for it. You may though of saying ‘YES’ to him but very next moment after buying drink you wouldn’t be giving any attention to him. Why? This is because you didn’t work for it.
In the next few weeks, you need to have a new man interested in you. Find one or fabricate one, but by all means you have a new flame according to anyone that he may know. You don’t need to announce it in smoke signals, but if you are asked, smile and discreetly say that yes, you are dating someone. It may sound nuts, but it does help you gain the piece of mind. If you’re not ready to date and still missing him every second of every day, that’s fine. I understand. But HE doesn’t have to know that.
My ex and I were together 9 yrs. I was clingy, had low self esteem, needy and jealous. The break up was shocking, he took a week and a half to tell me if he wanted space or if he wanted a break up. He was chatting with an 18 year old. He was telling me he doesn’t love me anymore and when he hug me he said he wish he could feel by there is nothing, he withdrew from me emotionally 2 months before we broke up. When I was packing his stuff I found something he wrote that he didn’t find me attractive. After the break up I was trying to convince him and did testing terrorism until he said to text him only when it’s business related. So did one week no contact and called to talk to him about the outstanding bill I was still upset and sent a text to apologize. He called next day and he was upset and sent a text apologizing. I did 2 weeks no contact and called yesterday since he been telling ppl that I wasn’t paying him attention and also thinks I do by love him. So I called and ask if we can meet weekend to talk and he said yes. He still have stuff at my place and he coming to pick some up. Today I went to his work to get my keys from him because he still had my keys. He couldn’t look at me but did when he hand me my keys, I was acting happy. He said so whenever I needn’t get something from the house inbred to contact you and I replied yes I am paying the rent and so I went and havnt made contact however he said he will come weekend.
This is the same article ,same exact wording they they tell guys I find it b.s just switching the word him to her. Guys like to be chased unless they found someone they like more and if they like them back . Then they don’t really care what you do I’m assuming girls are the same. It’s a sad world chase catch get bored and release I find this more common for women to get bored and move on. Or cheat and stay in the relationship and keep cheating on the side . They stay married or with someone for benefits of the man’s provisions
I really like the links from the first comment. I think as long as the two people love each other it doesn't matter what they did. unless its cheating. Trust is hard for me to understand. MY bf doesn't trust me and even though he has done things to break my trust in different ways I feel like I know him and can understand he's just a human and we make some mistakes sometimes. I try and change how he wants me to, to be a better person and show him I do care but somehow its not ever enough. I do not know how I can show him I care. He wants a big grand gesture but I do not have money or an idea of what to do. He said something like seeing him at work would make him feel like I care but when I didn't do u it his time limit that I didn't even know about he got mad. I just want to show him he is special but every little thing doesn't mean anything to him anymore. I can say I felt like how he describes because he hurt me and I didn't care about anything but distressing helped me see more clearly and what I needed to. I think that's what's going on with him because he hasn't been able to distress.
a lack of respect on either side. If you or your ex call each other names, belittle each other's accomplishments, or say disparaging things about one another to your family or friends, then there is no respect in that relationship. These are all features of an emotionally abusive relationship. Find someone who shows you the respect you deserve, and commit to treating him or her with respect as well.
He said that he didn’t think that we had enoughin common, which isn’t true because we would do so many old and new things together. When we broke up he said that he felt like we stopped being friends but then later saud the he was still my friend because we were really good friends. He also still wanted to hug and touch me and told me that he still wanted to do those things. None ofthis made any sense to me.
My girl is my love. She is my best friend only, one I trust and believe so much. I always give everything she wants or ask me and she enjoyed to spend time with me a lot for shopping, dining, etc. She still loves me for being honest and supportive in her life. She think me of her family only. But her heart still want another guy. It make me felt stupid, jealous and I worry that she will use me for him and her. I give so much to her , she knew me regret and stupid, so she worry I always change mind. She angry and argue with me on 3 times, she want to break up with me, because she suddnelly ask me about him, and I also asked her about her love on him. It make her really ANGRY on me because I never trust in her. I am stupid to help her so much, she never give back to me. She knows I loves her, but she cannot be with me together, she likes me but she loves him so much than me. It make me hurt so deeply. She begs me dont leave at her side cus she dont have many friends. But I cant, but she angry and want to break up with me! So, how I get her think of me, how I make her forget another guy? How make she leave him? She is very degil, and wont listen my advices. Please help me.
The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl. You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you. This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl. It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar. He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc). Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters. Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.
In my career, many girls keep on mentioning either one of above issues to explain the reason for their breakup. It is very important to keep in mind that your relationship doesn’t come to an end just because you said certain words or did something that lead to breakup. If your relationship with your ex boyfriend was base on solid foundation then few words or actions can’t come over the long work you did before.
Discuss solutions. This step may be the hardest part, coming up with solutions you both can live with. That means agreeing on what you think the main problems are in the marriage and coming up with ways you can both work to make it better. Basically, you need to compromise. Blaming each other isn't going to help, as you've both contributed to the situation you're in.
Until I got a bit tipsy one night and our conversation turned to him admitting that if he was who he is now, we would have never broke up; and that if we were to get together in person it would be a bad idea since something would happen. I couldnt believe how happy I was to hear that, and the next night we had a totally sober conversation where we arranged to get together purely for sex.
According to research, the number one cause of the breakup of romantic relationships is failure to communicate. If your relationship was otherwise happy, this problem can often be fixed by setting clear expectations and openly discussing frustrations before things explode in a big fight. Other issues can be harder to overcome, like infidelity or jealousy; but with work and counseling, even these types of issues are possible to work through.
She said he was then telling her that he broke up with her because he was poor and that he might go back to his village and they won’t be able to call each other. So after they kept on talking the boy had to run away crying but my friend followed him and hugged him to stop crying and he still did not remove his body from her. All she just did was to tell him that even if they were friends she still loves him. And when she wanted to go he knelt down in front of her begging her to forgive and she said she has already forgiven him that’s why she came to talk to him then she left but when she was going she heard him crying and hitting the wall but she refused to go back to meet him.
Stopping communications with your ex is absolutely imperative because you are going to become a happier and a more attractive person during this step. Remember all the negative traits we talked about in step 1? You have to get rid of all those traits. Think of it as trying to seduce someone new. You have to be confident, calm, relaxed, happy and a fun person to be considered attractive.
Your main goal in this section is to just open up communication. Remember though, you want to be in control at all times. That means that YOU have to be the one to end the conversation. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at.
It's important to not just talk, but to listen and hear what your partner has to say about what's going on in your relationship. You can show you're listening by summarizing what your partner has to say to show you've understood what he or she has said. You can also ask questions that show you've heard what the person has said and that you want to know more.
I ask today that you strengthen the relationship between my boyfriend and I. I ask that you give him peace of heart and mind that he can trust me completely and to remove his insecurity and doubt. May he see how much I love, appreciate and accept him. I ask for your guidance and strength and for our love for one another to continue to grow from strength to strength.
It's best to admit your mistakes. You'll need to forgive yourself for your part in the breakup, then move forward to seek his forgiveness. If you lose your temper and say things you don't mean, pull yourself together as quickly possible and apologize sincerely. There is nothing weak or demeaning about apologizing. On the contrary, it shows strength and good character. But when you apologize, be sure you mean it. A disingenuous apology is worse than no apology.
That’s really the main aim in Step 8 here – ensure that you don’t make mistakes which would accidentally sabotage the natural getting-back-together process. There’s several common mistakes most guys make at this exact point, and it’s super important that you know WHAT those mistakes are so that you don’t fall victim to them like most do. If you’re not told what these mistakes are, I honestly believe that you WOULD fall victim to them, so let’s discuss them right now.
Does this still work if he completely moved on?? Also he told me he will never get back wirhb me because once he dates someone and they broke up he “forever sees them as annoying even if you haven’t done anything to annoy him even if you are just casually talking he will sometimes get irritated in his head and think “ugh it’s this girl yet 2 months ago when I actually did stop talking to him for a few weeks he messaged me asking if I was ok cuz he hasn’t heard from me and jokingly assumed I had a bf and stoped talking to him he also said I didn’t have to stop talking to him I’m his “buddy” I always feel if what I do will actually work because he’s moved on eating other girls told me it wouldn’t bother him if I was with someone and I’ve messed up with the begging and acting like I know what he needs and I can give it to him we’ve had some pretty nasty fights cuz of it to the point where when I thought I was pregnant he said he was taking the baby from me because I’m crazy does this work on a guy who knows how to not feel feelings except anger btw he didn’t love me yet he only really liked me I loved him and tried to rush things
Posting here for sanity. I was moving on and got to a good place and just like herpes he came back. Gave me the line that he has had a really bad week, he wants to talk to me. I ate up that breadcrumb up like my life depended on it. Back to checking up on him on FB, back to checking my email 36376799x a day. Now haven’t heard from him again, but he has time to like sexual garbage on FB and be on FB all.the.time. Pretty sure he is chatting up others, but why do I flipping care? how many more red flags do I need? Moving on….again.
me and my ex, got back like 3 months ago,is a relation of 11 years ago :D bt we were breaking up and come again several times before. he came back to me, and kept contact most of the time, asking me out, and texting me non stop, we met couple of times, he told me about his ex gf he met and about details between them, also that she didnt fit him, and she wasnt right for him, and after couple of outings, ofcourse i did wt mentioned, looked my best, smelled amazing, and yes he stared at me, i try to look the best when we meet, and he keeps staring at me, but sometimes i feel he has distance between me and him, he doesnt call often, i sometimes call, we had couple of arguments but solved out, when im upset of him he make things up, we have kissed couple of times, and he started not me actually, it feels better than before, no fights, no attitude, i try to make it right, i try not to confuse him, and if i do i turn the page and make it better, but when i disappear or not talk, he comes to me, he asks, and when we meet he says all his feelings llike : imiss you, i want you, im thinking about you. sometimes is confusing, bcs i dont know it goin, but i dont wanna lose him this time, and think about me more and to see the best in me than his ex. he confessed to me that she lied to him with “iluv you” and then left him, when i just at the 1st place was crying to him when we were together to stay. i know i was stupid. but now am different. i need some help. why he is not calling much? what shoud i do? and about marriage, he mentioned in our last meet, but was not clear.is there any help? shoud i mention the marriage thing? or not? thanks alot waiting ur answer
A while back I was dating someone and it always seemed that we would fight over the silliest things. Now, I like to think that I am generally a calm person but for whatever reason my girlfriend and I would always fight. So, I went to the most trusted of friends for advice, my dad. He explained to me that a relationship is like a bank account. Every time you have a good experience or something of that nature you are putting money into the account. However, every time you have an argument or a fight you are taking money out of the account. The key thing here is to have more green deposits than red withdrawals in your relationship bank account.
Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying. They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally. In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence. It works for some people. They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
This is when I felt like I really met Mary. I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t jealous, and I wasn’t distracted—I had a clear mind, and I loved her. She was the kind of girl I’d always call back, and always take out for dates, and always hold hands with. She’s the kind of girl I never want to be away from. I’d seen what life looked like without Mary (cue damp Jimmy Stewart shouting “Mahhhhrrrrrryyyyy, don’t you remember me Mary?” in It’s a Wonderful Life), and I had a new appreciation for her. I loved the person she had turned into: She had built a life for herself in New York and was the person I know she always wanted to be—she grew her bangs out, too, which I guess is a big thing for women?
Apologize. Think deeply about anything you did or didn't do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the relationship, and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology. Take full responsibility for the offense, without blaming your ex, giving excuses, or expecting an apology (or even forgiveness) in return. It may very well be that your ex contributed to the situation, but you cannot apologize for someone else; you can only apologize for yourself. Leave him or her out of it and odds are the apology will be reciprocated.