So a perceived ability to attract other women is a GOOD thing when it comes to how to get your ex-girlfriend back, because it boosts your mate value in your ex’s mind. The key word there is “perceived”. Perceived ability to attract other women. You don’t have to actually be able to attract lots of new women, you just have to get your ex THINKING that you could.

Act like nothing is wrong. Even if your guts are tumbling like clothes in a washing machine, try not to let her know. She's probably not going to want you back if you're acting depressed, mopey, or sulky. Make sure you're laughing and genuinely trying to have a good time. You might find that you've become a happier person along the way. If you are feeling depressed, surround yourself with friends or family. Don't wait alone in a corner and just hope for her to come back to you.

Hi Natasha! You’re awesome! My boyfriend broke up with me, and I’m feeling terrible… my question is, my bf was not a narcissist.. I made mistakes and I started to pushing him because he lived with his mother, he is 39… and I’m 31 and I didn’t felt his priority, we had plans to get married, I’m applying no contact since he broke up with me, I didn’t begged him and I was calm, that was almost a month ago and he hasn’t reach me…. do you think that this works for a man who is not a narcissist? He is not a bad guy.
You see, the real damage is done when one person needs and expects something to change, but the other person is preserving the exact same things the spouse wants to change. For example, there is often a desire for a shift in the power structure of the relationship, but one person resists making any change. The other person who wants the change becomes more and more frustrated.
Breakup is hard as it is, especially if you are still obsessing over your ex and wondering all the time whether or not they miss you. On top of that, if your ex starts dating someone else, it’s almost feels like someone punched you really hard in your stomach (while wearing a wolverine claw). Nothing can prepare you for this feeling. But it happens. And no, it’s nothing to worry about.
Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
My ex girlfriend dumped me last night. She said that I treated her better than anyone ever had before, and when I asked why she was breaking up with me she said it was because I treated her more like a friend then a girlfriend. I was okay with it and trying to start to move on but then she texted me and said “I hope that this break up wont be a permanent thing and that I hope someday soon we can get back together”I have no clue what to do but I would like to get back togethersince she was the only girl I actually readily liked when i came across Dr kate she help me cast a return spell and my girl came back the third day thank you Dr kate you can also reach her email on (katelovespell@hotmail.com)
Your ideas seem great, but i feel like my situation may be a little different seeing as how my ex bf is different. Long story short, we had been dating for 9 months and I even lived with him for a bit when i was in between leases. We started getting into a lot of fights that came from his insecurities. He can be a bit short tempered at times as well, and one stupid fight that I caused turned into this big one. I definitely said some things that struck a nerve with him (i was pmsing at the time). So we decided to take a short break. I tried ending the break but he didnt seem ready in which i irrationally broke up with him thinking he didnt want to be with me. It was juvenile of me, I have so many regrets from it. He got mad blah blah blah, so we decided to just go back to taking a break.
The system is designed to change your understanding of marriage , and especially your understanding of the problems. Here’s why: if you just keep thinking about things the way you have, you will only stay where you have been — stuck and going down! Albert Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
Everything was going very fine, and suddenly he messaged me that he doesn’t even want to be with me anymore because he doesn’t feel for me the same way he did. Everyday he was like, he is not going to come back and all. When i came from my home to my college, he is also in the same college, we met again, but still he was like doesn’t have feelings. We spent time as he was clearing the facts that he doesn’t feel for me but still care for me. We shared some intimate moments and he is like that was only one moment, that’s it. How come feelings got vanished suddenly. We never fought and I supported him a lot in every aspect. i have tried so many things to save this relation.
Always keep in mind, an attractive women to a man is someone who knows how to balance being independent and shows his softer vulnerable so his boyfriend able to ‘protect’ her. Even if you don’t want to be protected by anyone then still you have to show some vulnerability to awaken your man’s natural protection ability. A man who protects you is a man who is deeply connected with you in a relationship.
The fact is, if your ex starts dating someone else soon after a breakup, then it’s definitely a rebound relationship. And rebound relationships never last. In fact, it just means that after you broke up, your ex had a huge hole in their life that they are trying to fill with someone new. In many cases, they rush into it too soon and things get too serious really fast. There is nothing to worry about as the faster it moves, the faster it will end.
i broke my ex coz i found out he was cheated on me..the other girl use my bikini..and i did not talk to him for a week and he ask sorry and want to be friends with me so i become friends with him he spent christmas and new years in my house..new years there is something happened me and him i thougth we are go back together but looks like he dont want to see me anymore..i invite him to go out with my friends party he did reject me so i tell him i will not bother him anymore we been together for 2yrs like live together..now he text me that he miss me a lot..and im still the best ever he had..but i dont know if he want to ggo back with me or not..im still love him but i think he dont love what will i do now …i miss him a lot too…but i have to move on with my life now i did not text him anymore or even hang out with our common friends…im still confused…
I went out with my ex girlfriend for 9years an have 3 wonderful kids with her we had our ups an downs the last 2 years were mostly downs an a lot of fighting we really weren’t talking so she broke up with me for about 7-8 months I did the whole crying asking her for that one chance trying to keep my family together she is really my first love I know what I did wrong an I’m trying to change an understand what I’ve done wrong well we both move out of the place we lived together she went back with her mother an I got my own place I still love her but I just found out she started dating just dating an I’ve seen a couple of women but I still have strong feelings for her she won’t talk to me an when she does she gets angry quick she gets jealous when I say I’m with a friend an she turns around an try’s to make me jealous in return why would she do that I just wanna know if I still have a chance what can I do an if I don’t should I just move on please help
In an effort to resuscitate an already dysfunctional relationship, women will frequently make the fatal error of bluffing. Your girlfriend will repeatedly threaten to break up with you in order to scare you into changing (for the record I wholeheartedly disagree with this method, but that discussion is for another article), hoping you will prove your love by doing anything to make her happy. It never works, and you rarely take her threats seriously. So you break up.
Lee Baucom’s Save the Marriage package of materials is a good starting point, as is John Gottman’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Baucom does a great job in showing you how to get a different perspective on all aspects of your marriage (and even on perspectives themselves). Gottman describes the dynamic happily married couples have that keep the negative feelings they have for one another from overwhelming their positive feelings. The book includes short tests and exercises designed to help you understand that dynamic, and to get it for your marriage.
Posting here for sanity. I was moving on and got to a good place and just like herpes he came back. Gave me the line that he has had a really bad week, he wants to talk to me. I ate up that breadcrumb up like my life depended on it. Back to checking up on him on FB, back to checking my email 36376799x a day. Now haven’t heard from him again, but he has time to like sexual garbage on FB and be on FB all.the.time. Pretty sure he is chatting up others, but why do I flipping care? how many more red flags do I need? Moving on….again.
More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively. Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast. Remember, you still have to be the one to end the conversation first. Lets look at how a conversation like this might play out using an example from above:
I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year, and she just broke up with me because she seems to care more about her friends than she does our relationship. she wont make time for me and ever sinse we split she refuses to talk to me. I’m heartbroken completely. because we used to be perfect. how do i get her to speak to me again even though she doesnt want to, i need her, please help!
my bf and I were in love. we were happy and everything was perfect. then one day he asked me to sext him…I told him I was uncomfortable with doing that and I broke up with him. I kind of went into a depression. some days I felt suicidal. he started dating my “friend” but they don’t seem happy. they’ve been dating since October and they haven’t kissed or anything. I miss him so incredibly much and everyday I regret breaking up with him. he and I are still best friends, and I told him I still love him (even though he’s dating someone). all he said was “I don’t know what to say…” and I cry myself to sleep every night blaming myself for what happened. he’s a great guy and I need him back. I don’t cut myself or do anything like that, but I’m getting worse. I need help. does anyone have any advice?!
He said he started contacted her when he and I started to talked about marriage which is last year. He said he is not ready to get married, so that is his excuse to suddenly betray me? He is 27 yrs old and I am 30 yrs old. All this while I never force him to get married with me. we have been together for 5 years for god sake I never force him to propose me. So he said he don’t know how to decide because he love both!!. Hello!! i have been with him for 5 years through bad and happy times, and he only with her I think 1 year or less than 1 year before me. He said he felt guilty he just leave the girl because of her status. then what about me? so I have been waiting for 2 months for him to decide. He once said to me he is not ready to get married but in his heart I am the one he want to be married to. Bullsh*t. I tried no contact but then i reach him out after two weeks. I’ve been pleading, crying, begging you name it. now i think about it i feel ashamed. This is coming from a guy that once said that he is a loyal person. F*cktard!. I even asked him what is actually our current status but he said he didn’t want to talk about that yet. so I respect him i give him space. But then during my last begging session with him when he deleted his social media that full with our happy moments, we got into a fight and misunderstanding and he accidentally said that he feel suffocated with me. Because he misunderstand what i meant during that begging session. I suddenly feel fed up and mad and all my sadness that time turn into this anger. I then said we are officially over ( i never said this before, i really determined when i said this). he then realized that he misunderstand and accidentally said he feel suffocated with me. so he try to apologize but just like that no effort just word. saying he apologize and cannot do anything if i want to end the relationshi*. maybe he thought i will be running back to him in a couple weeks. NO NO NO NOT THIS TIME. its been 5 days since i put a stop on this. This time is real! I will never reach to him first. I will never wish him on his birthday. My absence and silent is my gift to him. i feel like during those last 2 months he put me on the hook. he don’t want to let me go but he didn’t decide also which one he want.
Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them.
Ok gonna give this a bash sounds like good advice for me just now! Been with my boyf a year and half just moved in together 2 months ago. Recently we have been having massive arguments where neither of us seem to be able to walk away from or stop hurting each other. We had another silly argument last week and he has now left me saying its over and we can’t keep going round in circles. We have both been married before and know that we have never felt this strongly for anyone I’m our pasts and when we are not arguing things are amazing. I know that he is very stubborn and insecure (not saying I’m perfect!) but I really do feel that if we can just learn to communicate better and actually walk away and forgive when having an argument we can get thru this and grow together but he just says there’s no going back! Anymore advise or help would be greatly appreciated here as I’m a mess rite now x
Getting an ex back in your life isn’t rocket science, and it doesn’t require an underground lab and years of careful planning. The less you do to make your goal a reality, the better off you’ll be. How often do you miss the people that you see every day? Do you spend a lot of time missing the people that you just spent all day around? Probably not. Do you miss your co-workers when you leave the office for the day even though you will see them tomorrow? Missing someone requires an absence and if there’s no absence, you can’t miss them.
A week ago my boyfriend of 7 years told me that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. That he still cared and loved me but that he wasn’t happy and the spark was gone. He was my whole world, this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. The problem is that we have to still share an apartment together for another month until I can get my own. I have been trying to stay busy and thinking positive thoughts. But it’s hard when you still have to see him.
Thank you so much. The article helps me so much to feel better. My boyfriend just broke up with me today and I cant accept it. But the reason is i was cheating on him with my boss. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 6 months. We’ve been broken up for dozens of times but we still keep on trying and hoping it will work out. Because of my broken family,I needed more attention from my boyfriend and I started to act needy and Jealous.He’s sick and tired of it but because he loves me,he’s always giving me chances to work it out. I know we’re on the edge and that made me think “what if I’m with another guy who I can be trusted financially?”
My boyfriend and I were together for a little over 2 years. He broke up with me yesterday, him telling me that he thinks we’ve grown into being “just friends” rather than boyfriend/girlfriend. I asked him what the problem was, and where we went wrong in our relationship, and he basically said that I was the problem. I asked him if it was anything about me that I could fix/change and he simply said “It’s just you. Can you fix yourself?” He was being really mean… We’ve broken up three times before, and he always came crawling back to me, telling me how much he missed me and he realized what he did was a mistake, but there’s just something about this time around that’s making me think differently… That he might not want to come back to me this time… I really do love him so much. Sure we argue, but the next minute we make up and apologize for what we said that was mean to each other. He’s the perfect man for me, and I know he still has feelings for me, as bad as he was talking last night. I read through this guide, and I think I’m going to take all these things into consideration. All the steps made sense. Hopefully these tips will work for my boyfriend and I. I appreciate it. :)
AND REMEMBER THIS: Guys want what they can’t have, it’s human nature. Recognize that it’s not you he wants, it’s the control that he wants because you’ve disarmed his power source (his ego. Deep down he’s an insecure ninny). You show him what you’re made of and introduce him to the girl that he never got a chance to meet: The one that doesn’t have time for the likes of him or ANYONE that treats her in a less-than manner.
If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
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