When you guys meet up for dinner/coffee, whatever, don't talk about the past , why you broke up and stuff like that. Ask him what's new in his life, how he's doing, maybe remind him of something nice that only you know about him that you can both laugh about it. Keep the conversation light. Super-emotional, could-a, would-a, should-a stuff will just bring you back to where you were.
Our third attempt—and, you guessed it, the ensuing breakup—was kind of a glitch in the space-time continuum. It was 2009, and at this point I’d realized Mary was not an easy person to please. I coasted through the relationship, and she called me out where other girls I’d been with brushed off my repeated bad behavior. Our second breakup had reinforced the notion that no relationship comes easy and you have to put in the work, but I still sucked.
You have to look at both negative and positive aspects of your ex and your relationship. Every couple on the face of this planet fights, but if you two broke up, then chances are there was something seriously wrong with your relationship. Think about your relationship rationally. Don’t let your emotions control your thoughts. Imagine, you are a parent and your child was in the same situation as you, would you still tell your son or daughter to get their ex back?

The system is designed to change your understanding of marriage , and especially your understanding of the problems. Here’s why: if you just keep thinking about things the way you have, you will only stay where you have been — stuck and going down! Albert Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”


Give her some space. The first thing you need to do is give the girl some space. If you start knocking down her door and calling her every five minutes she'll only pull further away from you. The amount of space and time you give her depends on what happened when you tried to date her. If you ended a serious relationship, you'll need to give her more space than you would if you had just dated a few times.[1]
Hello everyone, I must start by saying that I didn’t go into marriage with expectation that it will fail after 8 years. I and my spouse where not compassionate to ourselves. Trying to work out my marriage was self-defeating, we don’t really know why we no longer find ourselves attractive anymore. All we secretly thought was divorce, we couldn’t agree or communicate anymore, it was emotionally difficult moments when we face each other in the bedroom.
I’d been having pretty hard time at work and school for the last year and was very stressed and clingy. But now I’ve sorted all that out and am feeling like the person I used to be in 2011. Since the breakup I’ve felt like I was going off the rails going on dates and doing activities and just anything to try to make me feel better (this is both when I was and was not talking to him). None of it makes me feel better, I cant stop thinking about him because he feels like my other half.
Besides, even if he does get into a new relationship … you have to realize that all relationships are not created equal. Sometimes the easiest way to numb the pain of a previous relationship is to jump right into a new one. And in the case of a rebound, who knows what the outcome will be? These aren’t necessarily the most long-lasting relationships and there’s nothing to say that this isn’t an attempt to get your attention or be vindictive. Again, you don’t know and you can’t know and it’s a waste of time to try.

Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. It's not unheard of for a couple to get back together after they've taken time away from each other, so don't give up hope. Just be sure to put plenty of thought into the reasons you broke up before attempting to get back together, as this can help you make the relationship work the second time around.


My boyfriend just broke up with me yesterday and trying to start my NC but he doesn’t stop snapchatting me. He did say that he wants to be friends and keep in touch with me. He broke up with me because he has too much going on and need to focus on himself. (at least that’s what he said) I don’t know what to do…. and we were in long distance relationship.
Sometimes it can be hard to keep a marriage thriving after a long time, but it doesn't mean the marriage is lost forever. Both of you need to be willing to put in the effort to salvage your marriage. If your husband will not go to counseling, go see a therapist for yourself to get some advice and support. If things don't work out, you can still co-parent your daughter together; many people do this successfully.
Broke up with girlfriend after over 2 years together. We had some issues and had been to relate but finished counselling positively. Change of job had me move towns. She followed me 2 months later when she also had new job. My job fell apart and I had to quit just as she relocated. I then got work elsewhere on temporary basis but it went on for 9 weeks. We barely saw each other saw each other. I felt pulled work wise away from her and I allowed it to happen. We split. I was in denial for a month or so. When realisation hit I was heartbroken. I’ve tried emailing to say I want to get back together but she’s said she’s not in love with me and we have no future and that she wants space to heal.. I love her so much. I’ve written a heartfelt apology for hurting her but she won’t respond. I just don’t know what to do. I think she’s built up her barriers and is determined to put me in a box and ignore me. What do I do? I’m so very sad, really love her and can see all the ways we could have a really good relationship but if are doesn’t….
He was my bestfriend for a while and then we found out that we actually love each other so we dated for a few months and then he told me that we should go back to being bestfriends to protect what we have because we can never be together or get married due to our religious beliefs.. when we started doing that he was already talking to another girl who follows the same religion as him and i got jealous and got into many fights with him about that .. that lasted for about 2 months and then he got sick from my craziness and told me that we should be just regular friends not even bestfriends and we shouldn’t text everyday or call each other unless there is something important.. that was about a month ago .. i begged him to become bestfriends again i talked alot and tried everything i could do but it was no use .. yesterday i talked to him about it again and he told me that being just friends is his final decision ans he won’t change his mind and i should act that way and just let it flow .. i hate the fact that he’s in control and that it was his decision to be just regular friends. Moreover, he and that other girl became really close I’m not sure if they are dating or not but i know that they talk and hang out alot .. we go to the same college so i see them together alot .. whenever he sees me he acts normal as regular friends .. what should i do to go back into being bestfriends again ? What should i do to win him back after he said that he already moved on? I’m not sure if the other girl is a rebound or everything between them is real also.
Me and my ex met at work. We hit it off the first couple weeks were heaven. We had so much in common and never stopped laughing to the point where we would annoy my roommates. After those few weeks we started dating and he would come stay at my house alot because he lived a town away. The first couple months were great. I started to realize he had trust issues and drank way too much. I left him and he asked me back he quit drinking. I took h back and it was even better then the first time but a few months down the road his jealousy started again and I was very mean to him because of it. He had broken up with me told me he didn’t love me anymore, said he wasn’t attracted and he had someone else. I got so hurt I went out with my best friend and got really drunk. I gave a guy my number because I was so mad at my ex I wanted to make him feel the same way. I ended up calling him after I did that because I knew I didn’t want anyone else. I patched things up and we made up. I never told him about me giving my phone number out because I didn’t want to mess it up. I never spoke to the guy after that night, he never even text. Maybe a month swum the road and things were coming together nicely and the guy from the night out text, my boyfriend saw it. I came clean although we were broken up he is still hurt and feels like he was right all along to not trust me. Just when he was starting to trust that I was different. I know I want to change and not take him for granted like I did or put my friends first. I love him so much and I don’t know what to do. He says he doesn’t want to be together anymore but he says things like he doesn’t want to be around my friend anymore and that he’s moving back home with or without me. He says there is no chance but says things like that. What do I do? I know I messed up by trying to get back at him but it never went farther than giving my number.
It was just a mask. Beware, as if you both go back to your old ways of arguing and dealing with problems, you'll get back to where you were – apart.  Don't let that happen. Don't get lazy and don't take things for granted. The first few weeks of being together again as also the first few weeks where he's most likely to “run for his life” and leave you or just decide that you shouldn't have gotten back together in the first place.
Because this system is only offered in an electronic, downloadable format, you can begin your journey of marital happiness and fulfillment immediately. . . even if it’s 2 AM in the morning! Plus, you never have to worry about facing the lady at the register in the book store. Your purchase is in total privacy and your personal copy of this powerful system will be downloaded to your computer in less than 2 minutes!
Right now you may not believe that all these can push your girlfriend further away and cancel out your chances of getting her back. What can actually help you will seem meaningless, but it is a mistake to think so. There are entire methodologies created to explain female psychology! In this book you will learn the steps you can take to get your girlfriend to become agreeable and pleasant. She will unlikely be able to resist you. It is just the way women are built.
If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says "I'm no longer in love with you"), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other's eyes and then answer personal questions (like "What is your biggest fear?" and "What is your best memory from childhood?"). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex's eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.[12]
I’m trying this out… We broke up almost 3 months ago. Within a week he had a new girlfriend. He told me he just wants to be friends. But also says how he can’t get over me, is still in love with me and wants to have a baby. But what I can’t understand is why he doesn’t want to me committed with me. We’ve been talking for the past two weeks and even had sex a few times. After reading this I feel like I should just start over. Step by step.. At this point I really don’t know how else to deal with it!! My enitre heart is broken, he’s truly the love of my life… Advise please!!! 

Thanks so much for this. I broke up with my boyfriend and want him back. We just kept arguing i was jealous.. he said he only had eyes for me me and i was the love of his life. It has hurt him so much i know.. but im so willing to change.. i followed your tips i look great, have fun and he still looks at me like i am the one but says sex with no emotional strings is how he wants to do it for now as he is still hurting and probablyv thinks ill do it all again..but i won’t.I hope he comes back totally.. at the moment im working on trying to get him tovstart taking me to his local bar with him again.. we went all the time before. im taking itvslowly anyway. I never want to hurt him again
If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
My honest advice is to focus on you. What were your goals before her? Reach them. Find new ones if you need to. Dont go looking for her or any other woman. If she remembers she loves you or that she likes you even, she will talk to you if she decides to. If not, some other woman will someday. Just put yourself in social situations when your ready. If you want to spend the rest of your life sad bexause you lost her, than go ahead. Its your life. Fact is, we men are the commited ones. We decide and we stick to it but we unfortunately dont see the womans needs. We often think they are too needy or dramatic and dont see that whats minor to us is major to them. Every woman has her breaking point. If you dont change but keep promising to, she will reach it. I’ve been in love twice and the first time lasted less than 10 months because she never really loved me. This one almost ten years because she loved me deeply. I sometimes think I would have better odds of getting back the one who never loved me.
Getting dumped sucks and when your boyfriend decides he doesn’t want you anymore it just tears you apart from the inside out. I feel for you but don’t worry because we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things. Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex boyfriend gave you for why he chose to break up is really why he decided to let you go. This may sound a bit mean, but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable.
It’s unbelievable how fortunate I feel after finding your email. For the past 3months, I have been so depressed after losing my fiancé to another woman. My money situation worsened so much that I thought I’d have to file for bankruptcy. I had a huge amount of debt and I didn't know what to do. Out of complete and total desperation, I contacted many of those so-called individuals who promised powerful magic, witchcraft or black magic. None of them worked and none were as wonderful, affectionate and warm as Lord Spiritual has been. He is definitely different from the others and I felt immediate hope and strength from hearing about the promises he had to offer. He carries an air of purity and divine strength that is as pure as fresh snow on the ground. I requested Lord Spiritual most powerful spells and I was relieved right away that I had someone to solve my problems for me. His spells worked wonders and I am now back with my fiance and my money troubles resolved itself after winning the lottery.
i broke my ex coz i found out he was cheated on me..the other girl use my bikini..and i did not talk to him for a week and he ask sorry and want to be friends with me so i become friends with him he spent christmas and new years in my house..new years there is something happened me and him i thougth we are go back together but looks like he dont want to see me anymore..i invite him to go out with my friends party he did reject me so i tell him i will not bother him anymore we been together for 2yrs like live together..now he text me that he miss me a lot..and im still the best ever he had..but i dont know if he want to ggo back with me or not..im still love him but i think he dont love what will i do now …i miss him a lot too…but i have to move on with my life now i did not text him anymore or even hang out with our common friends…im still confused…
Some of these problems include conflicts about who does what about the house or who decides what to do on a particular weekend.  Other problems dissolve when it is understood– however long it takes to make the other person understand– just how strongly that person feels about certain matters. Examples of these solvable problems are: how much time one person spends at work or away from the other, which chores are really very difficult for the other person, how much sex they should have, how to handle disobedient children, how to spend money as investments or on vacation, how messy or clean the house should be, who does the cleaning, how to deal with fears of one sort or another. One spouse is not made weaker by considering what the other needs or wants.
Ah so you had a sneaking suspicion but were proven wrong. This is bad for you for a couple of reasons. First off, your boyfriend surely will feel worried about incurring your wrath whenever they want to do something. Secondly, it makes your ex feel like you never trusted them. Luckily, you can work on this and prove to him that you are no longer the person who suspects him every time he goes out (without you.)
According to research, the number one cause of the breakup of romantic relationships is failure to communicate. If your relationship was otherwise happy, this problem can often be fixed by setting clear expectations and openly discussing frustrations before things explode in a big fight. Other issues can be harder to overcome, like infidelity or jealousy; but with work and counseling, even these types of issues are possible to work through.
I need some suggestions I want my ex-girlfriend back I’m sure of it she broke up with me 4 months ago and has been with somebody else that same amount of time…..thruout that time all I have been saying to her is she made a mistake leaving me I want her back I miss her love her I have been blowing her phone up and she changed her number because of it I need to know even tho I did all of these things is there still a way I could get her to love me again and take me back and I have to work with her bf she’s with now
I understand man. It hurts, it sucks, it deels like death would be way better. I feel that way everyday. All I know is, I have to let go. I have to be me, the best me. I have to learn how to see a womans needs before she is gone. If I am really lucky, my girl will feel different soon and call me. If I get the chance, believe me, I know what to do with it and I will treasure her as long as I live. I will pay attention to what she says and not think I know better than her. I will be happy just making her happy. If I dont get the chance, I will hurt like this until it stops I guess. I dont know. One day and one minute and one second at a time, I stay alive and I try to be who I should have been all along. Hang in there. Leave her be. Try to call her once every 6 months if you still want to and stay alive. Do good things. Its who you want to be.
Need some advice here, my ex girlfriend/ girlfriend just broke it off after a night at the bar. The night started out with a romantic dinner and then we met her friends out at the bar.. We both had a great night until after bar close when we were trying to decide on what we were going to all do the rest of the night.. We ended up getting in an argument about something, to be honest I don’t remember, and she just told me to go home. She proceeded to walk away with her and a few of her guy friends so naturally I got upset. I contemplated on what to do and them decided to walk to her place.. That was obviously not a good decision, when I got there I got upset and accused her of not wanting to be with me and she went on to say that I followed her he and was stalking her which was not my intent at all.. After going back and forth I just flat out asked if we were over and if she even wanted to be with me and she responded no I don’t want to be. I then immediately started to try and plead with her and ask her why and kept trying to get her to talk to me about it and all she did was tell me to leave and go home, which I did after waiting for a cab for an hour.. On the way home in the cab I was so damn upset and sent her a text message that she didn’t care about me and that I was easily replaced by by one of her guy friends that was at her place with everyone.. She responded with what r u talking about and I then responded with I know your sleeping with him I could tell how lit up your face was when you looked at him and then told her one more time that she was going to sleep with him.. She responded back by saying she wasn’t and that I’m crazy. About a half hour goes by and she text me back that she misses me and said that she was getting a cab to come over.. So she came over and apologized for being a brat and apologized for the night.. I then asked her why she got so mad and she said she didn’t remember.. So I let it be figured we would talk in the morning about it, so we had sex and went to bed. The next morning comes and I try to talk to her and she said she didn’t want to talk about it so I did what I shouldn’t have and prayed at her a little bit to get her to talk and she flipped out and said I just want to go home so asked her again do you even want to be with me and she said I don’t know. I brought her home and when I dropped her off I asked if I could have a kiss and we kissed and she said ill talk to you later.. She finally got back to me 14 hrs later and said that she didn’t feel good and had been sleeping all day which I guess I can understand after a full night of drinking.. I did send her a text and left her a voicemail saying how torn up and confused I am about everything but didn’t say it in a demanding way at all.. The next day I sent her another message in the afternoon asking her if she would have time to talk in person and she said yea.. Being absolutely heartbroken at this point I decided to make her a huge bouquet of flower along with a handwritten card apologizing for everything that happened.. I brought them over to her place and she was still sleeping saying she didn’t feel good so I just dropped th off and we agreed to talk tomarow about things.. I’m just so confused right now, I know we have only been seeing each other for 2 months but I don’t understand how things coul end like they did I have been in this 100%and treat her like an absolute queen.. What should I so here I don’t want to loose this girl she is absolutely one of a kind and I genuinely care for her
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