So my ex gf broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. She told me she just didn’t feel that way about me anymore. Her friend said I wasn’t trusting enough and a little to controlling. We were together for almost 2 years and we were both madly in love. She has another guy she hangs out with but i know she didn’t leave me for him. We can have a normal conversation. She’s even started it once or twice via text. How can I get her back. I love her more then I ever thought I could
And while we’re talking about jealousy, you should also try to refrain from reacting if he posts a picture with a girl, or likes a girl’s social media posts, or even if he starts dating a girl. Jealousy is ugly, unattractive, and destructive. Maybe you’re hurt that he seems to be moving on, but lashing out at him is not going to swing the pendulum back in your favor. And you really don’t know what’s going on. Maybe it’s a rebound fling, maybe the girl in the picture is his cousin, who knows and who cares? This is not where you should be putting your attention at the moment.
Give her some space. The first thing you need to do is give the girl some space. If you start knocking down her door and calling her every five minutes she'll only pull further away from you. The amount of space and time you give her depends on what happened when you tried to date her. If you ended a serious relationship, you'll need to give her more space than you would if you had just dated a few times.[1]
Think about why you want him back. Breakups are never easy, even when the relationship was not a good fit. For this reason, it's crucial to think about your motives for wanting to get your boyfriend back. If you want to get back together because you are sad or lonely or don't like being single, you should probably reconsider. Just because you miss your ex does not mean you should be with him. These feelings will go away eventually, although it may take some time. If you want to get back together because you genuinely care for your ex and you can see yourself having a future with him, then go ahead and try to get him back![2]
At this point, any negative feelings or opinions your ex had have most likely dissipated. He’s forgotten about the bad times, about the fights, about what went wrong. Human beings have a tendency to idealize the past. So once you’re “past,” he will only remember the good stuff and the bad stuff will drift further into the recesses of his mind. And it won’t be long before he starts to wonder what you’re up to…
Me & My boyfriend just recently broke up and I am always crying and feeling really hurt I didn’t wanna brake up with him but we got into a arguement over a convo I over heard or may of only heard parts of but I got angry and so did he , at first he said he was gone come back home but we weren’t gone be together . Then he changed his mind I guess texting saying he still wants me and the kids in his life but never ever wants to be with me again . everything was fine we where working through some things before this night , I feel his friends and family may have a part in our splitting cause every time he got around them things would start to change . He’s sent a lot of mean texts to me that don’t sound like him but I can’t be sure if they are or aren’t . My kids and Myself miss him a lot and I just don’t know what to do anymore i feel if I never came out of my room after that convo I over heard things would be fine still …
st. jude i pray that i want a better relationship with my boyfriend rudy open his heart and his eyes and let him see that i really do love him, care for him keep him away from his ex yvette that she doesn’t come between our relationship let him realize that am the woman of his dreams n that i will make him happy n love him forever help him be abetter man for me and my daughter , san jude i really love him please help me change him into a good person and that he just have eyes for me …..amen in the one of the father and son and hoy spirt amen
Ive been seeing a woman we are both in our late 30’s for about 5 months, and got introduced with her young children and her parents a couple of times. Everything was great then her child had problems at school, the ex of 2 years ago and the father of the children got involved, then straight away after 20 odd texts a day cut down to 2 a day. I decided to turn up with some flower to show my support as knew something was wrong. She wasn’t home so went in her friends shop to see if they knew what time she would be back who then told her I was in the village, with that I received a txt saying is this true and why was I about and to go as she didn’t want me at the house when she returned. I went back to her friends shop to ask if they knew what was wrong and had they said anything about me being there as wanted it to be a surprise. Since then by txt it has got totally out of hand where the friends have said things and she has taken what Ive said wrong, now she wants me to leave her alone as she thinks its not normal turning up the way I did and she is scared I will turn up again which I has said I wont.
What if he changed his number but you’ve totally stayed away and haven’t emailed him since June but are good friends with his sister who really likes you and is currently barely speaking to him due to mistakes he made with her ..(which by the way he hates that I’m friends with her and wanted me to cut her off )- Something I refuse to cut her off bc she’s genuinely my friend and I care about her and she’s been good to me in the mix of this nightmare )
Thanks for this post, Jason. After I read it I had a little hope that me and my ex-boyfriend COULD get back together. But then I scrolled down to the comments and I read everyone else’s comments, apprehensions, fears, emotional and psychological hardships that they’re going through and I wondered — if this is how a person is making us feel, is it worth it?
My bf just broke up with me 2 weeks ago (with good reason, we weren’t compatible), but I still think I can better myself. This article has completely lifted my spirits because I still have thoughts of wanting to win him back. It gave me a reason to not contact him right away (although I was tempted to at times, of course), and to better myself such as looking more attractive, etc. If in a month or more I am already over him, I am still going to be a better person. Thank you so much for this article!! I will save it for future use when I need to lift my spirits again.
hi, last sunday my boyfriend broke up with me. i dont know if its totally broke up because he only said to me that “lets end this, i have so many problems right now and im so tired.” i asked him if he dont like me anymore. he said “yes, i dont. i just want to be alone now, pls.”. i cant accept the fact that we broke up and he never even explain to me the reason. all his saying is he had so many problems but he dont want to discuss with me thats why i cant understand him why he so stress about. so i gave what he want, i didnt talk to him ever since, its almost 2 days already. but i miss him. and i know he love me too. maybe something really happened that why i gave him what he want. if he really want to be alone. he also never msg me since then. do i just let him alone first. you think he will call me soon? i really want him back. im trying my best not to msg or call him. hopefully soon he will realize that he miss me too. i know its because of stress and anger thats why all of a sudden he said those things to me.
Focus on patterns. Rather than blaming each other, consider how patterns from each of you has led to problems. For instance, maybe you consistently forget to call home when you're going to be late, and your partner then gets upset when you don't show up. Consequently, you punish him or her the next time by not calling home, which is a cyclical pattern. When you bring it up, focus on how to solve the problem, such as "I will try to be better about calling home, if maybe you can forgive me the few times that I forget. Or maybe you can send me a text near the end of the day, so I will be more aware of what time it is."[10]
Then we were completely out of each other’s lives. I stopped thinking about her entirely—save for those random moments I’d spot short brunettes reading on library stairs. I spent the next four years dating other people, with some hits and many misses. One woman stole a couple hundred dollars out of my checking account and got engaged to another guy while we were living together.
When people explain to me why they stay in unsatisfactory relationships long past the point where family and friends and everyone else encourage them to leave, they often say, “I love him/her.” I know that that is the real reason. Love has evolved as a powerful device to keep people together despite any defect or deficiency of a partner. Nature requires them to stay together long enough to have children. But it is not a good reason. As more or less rational animals, we can make decisions that promote our own individual interests. People who are capable of falling in love once can fall in love again and again if that first relationship breaks apart. The issue each person has to decide in the midst of a bad marriage or a bad affair is whether it is possible to be happy in that relationship—and, really, whether it is possible to be happier with someone else. Unfortunately, the alternative that occurs to many is not another partner, it is loneliness.

Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
WOW I don’t “KNOW” you…But I really like you! ?You are HILARIOUS and REAL and it’s clear that you’ve truly been “there” before by the things that you say. It’s like your taking these feelings and thoughts straight from MY mind and typing them out. I LOVE what you stand for (and what you don’t stand for). Well my question is in the last paragraph from what’s above, when you say something like : after getting your ex back he will eventually SHOW you (if we took your advice about showing we’re not putting up with the bs) that the break-up was a good thing.- Are you saying you feel they’ll still be the same way they were BEFORE the breakup (a f*cktard?) or they will possibly have changed for the better due to us setting those “what’s not acceptable” boundaries? And do you always feel that they would ONLY want you back due to a wanting to be in control thing not ever because they actually love you? Just wondering

About a month ago I found out my boyfriend of 4 months has been cheating on me. I was so confused, we have been doing so well and we were really close, I didn’t understand what made him do it. Before we started dating, we were close friends for 3 years, we told each other everything and we used to tell people that we were going to get married some day, at the time it was all a joke, I had no intention of being more then friends but he did. Anyways we got together and it was the best couple of months of my life. Then, I found out he cheated on me, he begged me for forgiveness and he said he didn’t really have a reason, he was just stupid! So we got back together 3 days after I found out. The first week we were okay, but the second week turned to chaos, I started feeling insecure, every girl that called him, texted him or took a picture with him made me cringed, I will throw tantrums and break up with him, then call him back and all he would just say is “did you get over your little tantrums?” We stopped having real conversations, it seem like he would always cut our phone calls short and tell me I talk too much, so I started picking fights with him because that’s the only way I can get his attention if we’re not having seX. all he did was apologized but he never really made the effort of making it up to me, I didn’t make him fight for me, he stop spending time with and stop calling as often as he used to. HE cheated and when I forgave him it’s like I shot myself in the foot, because he completely changed, and I have been trying to show him that I have forgiven him by sending him cute messages in the middle of the night that he can read in the morning (he’s never done anything like this, his never even called me beautiful or complimented my new hairstyles or any effort i make for him) and we can move forward but he started acting as if I cheated or I have done something wrong, so I retaliated by constantly reminding him that he cheated. Anyways his been paying me no attention, unless we’re talking about sex, he doesn’t listen to anything else I have to say. So I decided to dump him on text after I called him to confine in him and he just completely disregarded my feelings and told me his going back to sleep. I text him and told him that it’s over and that I was not over him cheating on him. it’s been in days and he has not replied, probably because i also told him i was over him and hated him(lies), he wouId already called back by now to stop me from leaving but he hasn’t. I was only breaking up with as cry for attention and affection. Though we fought so much leading to the break up, we were always great and he made me so happy in a way no other man has ever before. I feel bad because I Forgave him for cheating then dumped him After I told him he was forguven. He probably thinks I’m just crazy. What do I do? Even though I initiated the break up, I don’t want to be the one that crawls back because I will be condoning the way he’s been treating me lately, I don’t want to feel neglected again but I want him to want back so badly that he would do anything to make it work and lasts
This was 4 mouths ago. Then we saw us again had dinner, he was absolutly crazy about me but he was also pretty clear saying that he loving is new life and wants to stay single for some years.lol So when we were in the car i convince him to do it one last time. He was all ” thats not correct we still have feelings and i know what i want” we did it and it was more incredible. After that he writes me saying im amazing and he wants to do it again..
I believe it was James Carville, Bill Clinton's political adviser, who said, "If you say three things, you've said nothing at all." Well, I've said more than three things here, but then, I'm not giving a political speech. And you are not going to find the answer to saving your marriage in a single idea. What you have in front of you, though, are the first steps in getting to a happy marriage.
Spending time apart and giving your ex-girlfriend space is an important step in the how to win an ex back process. After a breakup, it’s clear that your ex’s feelings for you have gone stale, such that ANYTHING you do other than give her some time and space (even things that ACTUALLY WILL WORK to get her back later on!), would have a negative impact AT this early stage.
Enjoy hobbies together. Though tastes may change, you should make time to do something you used to love doing together. If you used to love cooking Chinese food together, try it again. If you once trained for a half marathon but are now feeling too out of shape, commit to the challenge. By committing to something you enjoyed doing before, you'll rekindle some of the old passion you felt. However, it doesn't just have to be something you used to enjoy together. You can also try something new.[34]
I need advice. We met on match.com and only dated about 3 weeks but had a great connection from the very beginning. Plus we share a lot in common (we agree about a lot, graduated high school same year, kids are same age). But he broke it off because 1) we moved too fast (didn’t have sex but went further than we intended by date 2) and 2) we’re in different places in our lives – I’m going through a divorce and he’s been divorced for years. I’m devastated. We ended things amicably last week (I didn’t fight it, though I wanted to) and we haven’t been in contact. But he’s been back on match.com already. My question is, what are our chances for trying again in the future? Did moving too fast derail us completely?
I was just diagnosed with this. (BPD) my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me because I pushed him away. I was so scared of the thought of losing him, I lost him. For 2 months he said “you’re driving me nuts. If you don’t stop blowing me up and checking up on me, we’re going to break up. Is contacting me now worth losing me for the rest of our lives?” He told me I made him do it and now says there will never be an “us” again. No more contacting him, social media efforts, and no talking to his friends again. He said if I didn’t leave him alone, he’d get a restraining order. I want him back so badly and don’t know what i can do to know that I’ve realized what I did wrong and can and will give him his space; though I’ve promised it several times before. I know he’s the one for me and its killing me knowing that everything could’ve been different if I would have just listened. I knew what to do…STOP. But my insecurities wouldn’t let me put down my phone and blow him up. Now I can’t contact him…I don’t know what to do.
Social media is a very useful tool for this. First thing you can try is to post pictures of you and your friends out having fun, clearly not seeming too concerned about the breakup. This will indicate higher mate value, because if your pictures show that the breakup doesn’t seem to have affected you too badly, the way she’ll see it, evidently you feel you could REPLACE her if you needed to. Because if you couldn’t replace her, then you’d seem more upset about having lost her…
It feels like not being able to breathe when a good man leaves you. He’s put up with me for so many years, i’m so sorry for everything. i fked up i was naggy, unappreciative, rude, and not available to him emotionally i was pushing him away he was such a sweet heart and i always found something to argue with him about i took what we had for granted we took a break for a while and decided to try again start from the beginning..we went out had fun and i fell into my old way got mad and argued about soemthing so stupid.
Me and my ex broke up about 4 months ago. I was truly deeply in love with him and he said he loved me too. We lost our virginity to each other. This past summer I went on a vacation to Hawaii and he went on a vacation to Wisconsin. He left two days before I got back. We had been going out for 7 and a half months and we stared having sex at the 3 month mark. The first time we saw each other after we both got back from our trips, we hung out and I was planning on having sex with him that night, he acted like everything was fine when I went to pick him up by making out with me, picking me up and spinning me around. We went out though and he sat me down and said we needed to talk. Right then i knew something was wrong. He broke up with me with the phrase “I’ve fallen out of love with you.” I was crushed. I have no idea if this could have been caused by him doing something with someone else and feeling guilty about it so he broke up with me or if he had found someone else but I am still deeply in love with him and dreams about him nightly. I want him back so bad. He broke up with me on June 22 and I haven’t actually spoken to him since. I sent him a happy birthday wish because I thought that would be a nice things to do since his birthday is the day before mine even though we weren’t together anymore and never got a response back from him. I don’t know if that was a smart decision but I really miss him and want him back. Since the breakup he has cut off all contact with me and I don’t know if that’s because he did something with someone else while he was gone and he feels guilty or if he found someone else. He deleted his Facebook or at least blocked me and I am so upset. He seems mad at me. I still think about him daily and all the fun times we had together. Do you think this article will help in my situation? I don’t know what to do. I miss him so much and want him back so bad. I’ve always heard that giving them their space is the best way to go about getting them back but that doesn’t seem to be working. HELP!

I have a problem likes it… My boyfriend and I were together for 1 year and half. in fact from 6 months age our relationship became so complicated and it was my fault! last week he told me that he wants to be just friend…since next week he gonna go to another country, where he studies, and he won’t come back till 3 months I’m really confused about what should I do! :| So if you find any efficient way…tell me plZ!


Seems like you'll get him back. You've seen each other a couple of times and things are going good. It seems like all will work out great! But wait, and re-think it. Don't fall into the trap of thinking all is good now and that you'll just be fine… you may not. People that get back together tend to go back to their old, real ways, because they did not make any real, fundamental changes to their lives.
The point isn't just that you get your ex back, but that you KEEP him. Often folks just have sex again, once or twice, but things don't work out and they end up breaking up again. So don't take anything for granted. Make sure he has the best night of his life when you make up, but after that don't drop into your “old” relationship with your ex, instead – create something new.
Commit to having a better relationship. If your ex-boyfriend takes you back, you both need to take steps to make sure that the same problems that caused your last breakup will not interfere with your relationship again. Talk to each other about what kinds of conflicts you have had in the past and how you could deal with them more appropriately going forward.[9]

You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.
The problem which is causing this is because of my sensitivity and paranoid issues. It so happened that whenever he does not reply me for an hour via text messages, I’ll ask stuffs like what are you doing, are you really busy, are you really alone and all just now and even random questions like ‘have you been smoking alot, I’ll want you to quit soon, really”. I’m like that because I guess there’s trust issues between us previously on this incident where he told me he’d went for dinner with his guy friends but coincidentally, one of my friend saw him outside having dinner with a girl instead. But then again, my boyfriend was the one raising his hands up and waving to my friends at that moment, which in this case he’s not afraid of being seen but still waved to her. I asked him about it and he said yea, he’s sorry that he lied because he’s afraid to tell me that he’s out dinner with this girl colleague. He’s scared that I’ll constantly ask him questions and nag at him about it and flaring, being jealous and everything.
Let’s say one night you decide to watch home movies from an old-fashion projector. You put in a video of you at 5 years old playing at your first recital. You curl up on the couch with popcorn and hot chocolate (two of your favorite things) and begin to watch. Unfortunately, there appears to be a weird blemish in the video, so you decide to change it and put on a video of your 10th birthday party but somehow the blemish is in that video too. So, you run over to the wall, wipe the screen, and put in one more video… yet again, the spot is still showing up.
Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.
Today, I’ve got the usual habit to clear his Hotmail inbox and I realized that he’d booked two tickets to a horror late night movie yesterday. And at this point of time, I might have guess that he’s watching it with the girl whom he previously had dinner with. Somehow, I felt that he might have taken a slight interest in this girl colleague and have decided to move on and try out dating the new girl since he’s so firm with his decision on ending off the relationship with me and see no future in us after all that we’ve been through and in such a short period of time?

My boyfriend and I are in complicated situation, we want to be together but we can’t because of his mother, so we are just being friends now and he says that we are more than that but less then couples. I don’t know what to think cause’ sometime it feels like he doesn’t want to talk to me or that he’s only giving me short answers when we text but when you skype, its a whole different situation. When we skype, it feels like that we were still going out and so its confusing me so much. We would still be together if his mum didn’t poke her nose in our business but I understand that he’s respecting her wants but it hurts me. She think that she is doing a good thing when it’s causing so much pain for me to not even be able to see him in person, I need help to know what to do please.
Trying to work through marital problems can be a daunting process, and you might not even know where to start. Every marriage is unique, so figure out the specific issues at the heart of your conflict. In order to find solutions, you and your spouse will need to communicate openly and constructively. Try to stay positive, and avoid blaming, stonewalling, and launching personal attacks at each other. Rebuilding your bond will take time, so have patience. A marriage counselor can help mend the gap, so don't feel embarrassed about reaching out to a professional.
So this girl broke up with me last week and during the weekend I was really drunk, and I was talking to someone about how I felt and I said some pretty messed up things that are just terrible, and I don’t remember who the person was but the person that I told everything too they told her and I up finding out Tuesday or Monday and she was just really upset she told my friend everything and the things I said were really really messed up they were really wrong and I didn’t think about what I said I just said things because I was so drunk and now I just want her back. But now I just gotta face the consequences and I can’t do it myself I just need someones help, but anything contact me at 862-812-9341. I also heard she made her mind up already, it’s only been a week so I don’t think so, but she did block me on everything someone just help me, she meant the world to me.
As common knowledge goes, you cannot make a person have certain feelings for you. However, you can encourage them to feel a certain way through reminders, thoughts, gestures and messages, so there might be some ways to help your ex think about the good things the two of you shared together. For more details on how this might be possible, read How to Make Your Ex Miss You.
Use that time to really understand what happened. Dating coach, Lisa Shield, adds: "There's a lot of fear when we try to put ourselves out there after having our hearts broken. Many of us don't have a good enough understanding of what we did wrong in the past. So, how are we going to prevent it from happening again? If you can, talk to a dating coach or relationship expert who can guide you to that understanding. Because, if you don't make sense of the past, it's going to be really hard to move forward."
He broke up with me first: he said that it was because he felt like we didn’t have a future together, that it felt impossible that i learned the language ( which i was doing), that I was asking for too much of his time, that he didn’t feel like he could do all the things he wanted with his friends. but I couldn’t accept it, I wanted to fight for the love we had, so much, I negociated, I asked for more time, I begged, I told him that if he still loved me it would be worth it. after a day of speaking he said ok. A week after I asked him again ( because I was afraid and I had been walking on eggshells all week), he said that he still had that feeling that we wouldn’t be together forever, but he told me he loved me and he really wanted to work for it, to work on it and make it work! ( i was so happy!)
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