Don't worry, this is a good thing according to Amy Spencer, author of Meeting Your Half-Orange and a happiness expert focused on how shifting your perspective can change your life. "There are always relationship physics at work — every action has an equal and opposite reaction, right?" she challenges. "So it's important to be able to look at how his behaviors, moods or choices may be impacted by your behaviors or moods or choices. If you are able to cite moments where you unfairly criticized him, behaved poorly, or hurt him first, then you are seeing how your own energy and behavior can be a catalyst to a negative interaction between the two of you." Spencer says that if you shift how you speak or act in certain situations, it could lead to different interactions with your husband. "If you can put yourself in his shoes and see that you've been in the wrong, there's reason to reboot your marriage," says Spencer.
Love this! I read your blog like it’s a bible for overcoming the bad break ups. I’m so addicted and I like that it’s enabling me to transfer my addiction from my ex. Just today, an old co worker of mine, we use to flirt a lot back in my previous job had called me not too long ago. I’m wondering if I should respond to his calls and texts. I have been avoiding him for the longest because well, I already know it will only be based on sex. Not sure if I want to indulge in that as I am still very vulnerable since the unofficial break up with my ex. However, I do want to show my ex if I could that I’m no longer crazy and doesn’t need them. So I might want to give this old flame a try. Maybe just casually date. Idfk. Lol. All I know is that I want my ex to see me happy!!!!! So far no contact for about to be a month. But my ex will not know if I’m happy or not being that I’m not on social media like that and plus they unfollowed me and we don’t have mutual friends. So how would my ex know if I’m happy without an “us”? The only glue is my access to their Netflix account which I have been using and now I’m realizing I shouldn’t even use that! My ex will probably view my activity and sees that I have not let go and still need them..even for stupid Netflix. So no more Netflix. I might want to delete the profile that my ex set up for me, but deleting it might give a reaction. Idk what to do.
Me and my girlfriend been together for 14 months. We almost had an baby. But the baby died. After 3 weeks she started to act different. I called her horrible names like 6 different occasions. Now I text her she doesn’t even text me back. I call her shell call me a couple hours later. I love her so much. I text her in the morning that I apologize. Saying nice sweet stuff. Then when I wanna break up with her. She gets so mad at me. She don’t even wanna see me like that. It hurts me so bad. What should I do.
im doing the same thing you’ll do now your not alone i know it hurts but that what u should do, let him lose you and thinks hes a failure dont allow him to think he can play with your feelings, your not his toy if he cant decide what he wants then leave him to grom up and make decisions in life, hes immature and you did the right thing your so smart of going no contact and standing on what you want bravo, now do not let him take advantage and decide what he wants do what you want, you want him as a bf he didnt respect that he wants friends you dont so bye to him and lifes always comes around believe me one day he’ll come begging to have you back.
Remember that she has a reason for leaving you. In her mind, those reasons are valid no matter how stupid they may seem on the surface to you or anyone else. If you start groveling at her feet begging for another chance, she’ll feel like her reasons for leaving were correct and that she made the right choice. The last thing you want to do is give her the impression that she really can do better.
So your breakup sucked and everything went horribly wrong. Welcome to almost every breakup in the world. It happens. No matter what caused the breakup or how bad it was, there are ways to get your ex-girlfriend back. If you take the correct actions at the correct time you can find yourself back together quicker than you imagined. It’s simply a matter of knowing what to do and when.
I have to admit I have been doing all this ever since the last time u email me, not only you but my closest friends told me the same thing and I still didn’t listen until yesterday I had a conversation with two people I trust the most and remember what he said and did and decided that that was it. Sadly I still see him at work but I will listen and follow everyone’s advice. Finally!! ????????
Your number one advantage in any breakup situation is to let it happen without fighting her choice to leave. No matter what choice words are running through your mind as she’s spewing her breakup in your general direction, hold your tongue. She has made her decision and at this point, you can’t make her rethink that choice. The last thing you want is another screaming match. Just put your hands in your pockets and wait until she leaves before you start hitting the wall.
Many online relationship "experts" will tell you to play power games to win back the love in your relationship, or to reignite the spark. Don't do it. If you purposely ignore your partner or intentionally act cold and distant, you are playing a game. And while this sort of behavior may lead to increased attention from a partner for a short while, it will not have a long-lasting effect on your relationship. If you frequently act rude or mean, ignore your partner, or act cold and distant, your partner will eventually lose interest in you.
My girlfriend told me she did not love me the same way she used to. That I was more of a best friend type of love… She has new friends that go out alot and she also started to drink socially.. Im not sure this is a cry for independence or because her parents do not a good relationship . So i wondered if she imprinted her dads action on to me as I would treat her as he treats her and her mom….. I tried telling her I could do things differently and so on but she starts med school soon and I am not sure if she wants to be independent or what… I have not texted her and deleted my own facebook to avoid contact. She didnt cheat, we didnt end on a argument. I was the one who said okay goodbye. And thats the last time I talked to her ( 2 weeks ago). Any ideas on what i should do?
I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year, and she just broke up with me because she seems to care more about her friends than she does our relationship. she wont make time for me and ever sinse we split she refuses to talk to me. I’m heartbroken completely. because we used to be perfect. how do i get her to speak to me again even though she doesnt want to, i need her, please help!
I’d greatly appreciate feedback on my break up, especially from guys. I had been dating a guy for 6 weeks. Although he was following up and seeing me every weekend since our first date, he never mentioned exclusivity or “the talk” about “us.” So on date 7, he invited me over for dinner and made his move. I told him I was not ready as it is sonerhung you can’t take back and it would change our dynamic. The truth is I was ready, but needed to know where I stood with him as it is not something I am casual about. We ended up in his bed, but I stopped it short of the deed. He seemed ok with that and asked me to spend the night, but I could not because my elderly and judgmental mother was in town visiting. That’s when our dynamic changed and it seemed to me to go off the rails. Very awkward. We had two pre-scheduled dates afterward that were in teasingly awkward. Then he called me. He asked me what I wanted and I told him I want something exclusive and meaningful. I explained that I am used to knowing I am on the same page with a man first and that I declined because was afraid that I would be serious afterward, but he would be casual which would be hurtful. Then he told me that whereas he had been “captivated” (his word) before, now it is just “awkward” (his word) and he does not think he can go back and pick up where we left off. He asked if I can go back and pick up where we left off and I said yes, I can. He then said he would think about it while he’s out of town over the next few days and let me know if he changes his mind. I found that insulting, but just said ok and goodbye. I realize he could have taken it as a rejection, but I feel like with my past significant relationships this would have been a big nothing burger, and certainly not anything that could not be recovered from. After all, things went far enough between us for there to be no reasonable doubt that I desire him. So, what do you think? Is his behavior reasonable or am I right that the punishment does not fit the crime? Any feedback and advice would be greatly appreciated!
Posting here for sanity. I was moving on and got to a good place and just like herpes he came back. Gave me the line that he has had a really bad week, he wants to talk to me. I ate up that breadcrumb up like my life depended on it. Back to checking up on him on FB, back to checking my email 36376799x a day. Now haven’t heard from him again, but he has time to like sexual garbage on FB and be on FB all.the.time. Pretty sure he is chatting up others, but why do I flipping care? how many more red flags do I need? Moving on….again.
Hey guys! So my situation is very unique. When I got with my ex I was dating someone else. The guy I was with at the time was caring and let me basically have control of the entire relationship. I didn’t want to be with the caring guy because I didn’t think he was attractive enough for me. So I was working at McDonald’s at the time and my ex that I’m trying to get back started working there. At first I didn’t notice him much because he worked mornings and i worked nights. But one day I went into work to get my check with the caring guy I was with. While I was waiting for my check one of my managers at the time that had just turned 19 and liked to start drama had told me that my ex thought I looked like his wife… yes his wife. At the time they were separated in the middle of a divorce. So for some reason that made me notice him and the caring guy told me that I would end up with him because he knew me too well. I had cheated on the caring guy multiple times because I just wasn’t happy but didn’t want to be alone. So I added my ex on Facebook one day and he started a conversation with me about a post I had posted. It was something silly that he said he didn’t know about but later told me he did. Anyway so we started talking on Facebook as friends and then we started snapchatting. One day I was just like “hey, do you like me?” And he was like “as a friend ya” and i said “no like as more than that” and he said “no lol u have a bf” I said “I’m basically not with him, but I’m pretty sure u like me” he said “I don’t feel good about it but I do like you”. Of I almost forgot. At the time I was 17 and he was 25. Yeah I know thats a big gap but he looks younger. Anyway so needless to say I broke up with the caring guy and got with my ex. About a week or so into the new relationship i was stupid and cheated with the caring guy who made me feel bad for breaking up with him. I hid this for a long time from my ex. So in this new relationship everything was really great for like 5 months. Then I started to be controlling and possessive and i started to act a little crazy. That’s when everything went down hill. Oh ya, I had met his 3 kids (ages 6,4,and 1.5). And I had a bond with the 2 older ones who lived with him. So everything started to go downhill and i got bad anxiety and started accusing him of cheating and I ended up telling him about me cheating. We broke up for a day and got back together. Once we got back together It was good and everything until we broke up again for another day and got back together. Again things were good but then we broke up for a week and i was living with him and had my stuff at his house and we had gotten matching tattoos. So that week was terrible I said I was working on myself to try to make him jealous and i still lived with him as a roommate but we never seen each other . Then One day I caught him at home and i basically forced him to get back with me. Everything was really good or at least I thought so. But then we broke up for a day and he said he wasn’t happy and didn’t want to be with me and didn’t love me anymore. I persuaded him to get back with me and told him I would give him space but we could still be together and he said ok. So we got back together and me being the person I am changed for a day and then went back to the clingy controlling and crazy person I was. We were together for 4 days. We broke up yesterday and I’m just devastated. Yesterday when we broke up he kicked me out. I told him I would take what I needed for a month or so and i would be back for my other stuff in a bout a month. That day I went completely Insane. I wore his clothes and layed in his bed and cried and posted sad videos on Snapchat saying how I just want him back and i also posted on Snapchat a trip down memory lane with every picture we ever took together. His friends contacted him telling him I was crazy and i was gonna kill him telling him to change the locks. So I stopped and took it down. I had a friend come over and help me pack. We hung out for about an hour and then I had to pick up my ex from work because we were sharing his car. When I got there he didn’t want to talk to me. He asked me for the house key and car key back that I had. So I don’t have either of those anymore. Anyway, he gave me a ride to my moms and on the way there I just told him how I was sorry for ruining our life together and he said he was sorry for his part. I ruined once we got to my moms because I asked him for a kiss goodbye and he said no and told me to get out of the car. I tried to kiss him anyway and he pulled away and told me to get out. He said that he was not going to contact me for 2 weeks. And then he drove off. I messaged him after he left and told him I will miss him and i love him and blah blah blah. And today was the total solar eclipse and i was worried about him and i told him to be careful and to have a nice life and i might see him in a month or so and i haven’t gotten a response back yet. I think I blew it but I’m hoping that this article helps me get him back even though he told me he doesn’t love me anymore and said that he fell out of love with me when I acted crazy. So hopefully it works. Please comment with thoughts. Thank you?
my girfriend broke up with me a month ago, she told me she wasnt ready for a relationship and i was too into her more she was into me and she wanted some space.. so i gave her some space but a week later i end up getting drunk in a bar, then i see her .. i approach her and ask if we can talk ( iwasdrunk) then we went to the parking lot… i asked if she could come back to me she said she wants to be single… then i accidentally said something disrespectful, she slapped me and asked me how many bottles i drank… i was in rage of anger because she didnt want to fix things. then when she left.. i started texting her nasty things… well i was drunk… now i regret everything ive done on that day… and she called the next day after that saying she doesnt like me anymore and shes never coming back.. is that because shes really angry? i sent her flowers she threw them away.. im so stupid to get drunk that night… now after 2 weeks i heard she likes this other guy but i dont know if she really likes the guy or not… its only been a month and shes searching for another guy to like? i thought she wasnt ready to be in a relationship?… i need help.. how do i get her back and put interest. thanks…
You can try and prove to your girlfriend how much you love her, but it will not lead you to the desired result. Such behavior will only widen the gap between you. A woman simply can’t return your feelings in such a situation, this is very subconscious for them. Their DNA is programmed differently than that of men, and women can have feelings for completely different things than men.
About a month ago I found out my boyfriend of 4 months has been cheating on me. I was so confused, we have been doing so well and we were really close, I didn’t understand what made him do it. Before we started dating, we were close friends for 3 years, we told each other everything and we used to tell people that we were going to get married some day, at the time it was all a joke, I had no intention of being more then friends but he did. Anyways we got together and it was the best couple of months of my life. Then, I found out he cheated on me, he begged me for forgiveness and he said he didn’t really have a reason, he was just stupid! So we got back together 3 days after I found out. The first week we were okay, but the second week turned to chaos, I started feeling insecure, every girl that called him, texted him or took a picture with him made me cringed, I will throw tantrums and break up with him, then call him back and all he would just say is “did you get over your little tantrums?” We stopped having real conversations, it seem like he would always cut our phone calls short and tell me I talk too much, so I started picking fights with him because that’s the only way I can get his attention if we’re not having seX. all he did was apologized but he never really made the effort of making it up to me, I didn’t make him fight for me, he stop spending time with and stop calling as often as he used to. HE cheated and when I forgave him it’s like I shot myself in the foot, because he completely changed, and I have been trying to show him that I have forgiven him by sending him cute messages in the middle of the night that he can read in the morning (he’s never done anything like this, his never even called me beautiful or complimented my new hairstyles or any effort i make for him) and we can move forward but he started acting as if I cheated or I have done something wrong, so I retaliated by constantly reminding him that he cheated. Anyways his been paying me no attention, unless we’re talking about sex, he doesn’t listen to anything else I have to say. So I decided to dump him on text after I called him to confine in him and he just completely disregarded my feelings and told me his going back to sleep. I text him and told him that it’s over and that I was not over him cheating on him. it’s been in days and he has not replied, probably because i also told him i was over him and hated him(lies), he wouId already called back by now to stop me from leaving but he hasn’t. I was only breaking up with as cry for attention and affection. Though we fought so much leading to the break up, we were always great and he made me so happy in a way no other man has ever before. I feel bad because I Forgave him for cheating then dumped him After I told him he was forguven. He probably thinks I’m just crazy. What do I do? Even though I initiated the break up, I don’t want to be the one that crawls back because I will be condoning the way he’s been treating me lately, I don’t want to feel neglected again but I want him to want back so badly that he would do anything to make it work and lasts
Dan Bacon is a dating and relationship expert and the creator of Make Her Love You For Life, which is a video program that teaches you how to make a woman feel sexually attracted to you, respect you and be totally in love with you when in a relationship. Dan is married to the woman of his dreams and has been helping new men succeed with women for more than 14 years.
We also know that there are exceptions. There are relationships that probably should not stay together, such as those with physical violence, cruel and ongoing verbal abuse, extreme anger management issues, or long-term unaddressed substance abuse, for example. If you're in a situation like that, please eek the help of your local crisis management center.
Ive been seeing a woman we are both in our late 30’s for about 5 months, and got introduced with her young children and her parents a couple of times. Everything was great then her child had problems at school, the ex of 2 years ago and the father of the children got involved, then straight away after 20 odd texts a day cut down to 2 a day. I decided to turn up with some flower to show my support as knew something was wrong. She wasn’t home so went in her friends shop to see if they knew what time she would be back who then told her I was in the village, with that I received a txt saying is this true and why was I about and to go as she didn’t want me at the house when she returned. I went back to her friends shop to ask if they knew what was wrong and had they said anything about me being there as wanted it to be a surprise. Since then by txt it has got totally out of hand where the friends have said things and she has taken what Ive said wrong, now she wants me to leave her alone as she thinks its not normal turning up the way I did and she is scared I will turn up again which I has said I wont.