I am asking for prayers. As I am going through a rough time, and am doing everything I can to save my relationship, I pray. Lord, I pray and ask you to hear me. I pray that you give me the strength to overcome this trial you have placed in front of me, so I can move forward. I lift up my relationship to you and pray for healing. I pray that the love that I know still remains can be rekindled, and that you restore the connection that was once had. I pray that you remind him of all of the great times you blessed us with, and all of the tribulations we have overcome together. I pray that he knows how much I truly love and cherish him. I pray that you remove any temptation that may be hindering the love we have between us. I pray that you restore the strength within the two of us as one. Lord, I’m asking you to hear my prayers and I thank you for blessing me with this love. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
You are hilarious!! I am laughing so loudly whilst reading your articles….I’m scaring my dogs! I came across your website while I was googling and trying to understand why my now ex-fiance ‘assbag’ of 4 years breaks up with me (2nd time in 3 months), demands no contact then calls me, bawls during the conversation then tells me “he says he needs space” AGAIN…. he did this 3 months ago also…so now I’m thinking he’s emotionally inept and I’m left feel totally confused. But I am finding your articles are helping me alot….so thank you!!!!
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Focus on patterns. Rather than blaming each other, consider how patterns from each of you has led to problems. For instance, maybe you consistently forget to call home when you're going to be late, and your partner then gets upset when you don't show up. Consequently, you punish him or her the next time by not calling home, which is a cyclical pattern. When you bring it up, focus on how to solve the problem, such as "I will try to be better about calling home, if maybe you can forgive me the few times that I forget. Or maybe you can send me a text near the end of the day, so I will be more aware of what time it is."
Got a text from my GF immediately returning from a vacation together. She said she didn’t feel as invested in our relationship as I did. We’d been dating 2 and a half months, extremely attracted to each other, the sex was incredible for the both of us, & we spent a good bit of time together. Within the first month, she was talking about settling down & getting a place together. Admittedly, I was a little taken back by it, but handled it appropriately. Obviously it showed she had been rather interested in me and then some. The breakup happened via text as I said before & about not being as invested in me as I was with her. Not even a week later, she’s already texting me & admittedly I respond, but it’s usually silly stuff. I want to be back with her in the worst way but can’t get a good read on what the hell happened or what’s happening? Any recommendations on how to proceed? Thanks.
My ex loved me like crazy and i didnt quite value it. I broke up with him 6 months back. And then i realized i loved him, so i became clingy and irritating and moody, things got worse and it was the first time that he told me that he didnt want to get back. We were best friends from 3 years, and we dated for 8 months. Now he has come back, he just wants to be friends, though he is not dating anyone. I am so in love with him!! He says he loves me when he is drunk but something else when he is sober. He is giving me so many mixed signals that it hurts. I have no idea what to do.
In the beginning when you first started dating your ex, things were probably wonderful. You established deep emotional bonds and everything felt amazing. You couldn’t wait to spend time together, and you got butterflies in your stomach every time you thought about her. It’s not that hard to get those feelings back. You can get your ex-girlfriend to remember the past fondly and want to get back to that time again. This time you can make things better and move forward in a healthy, positive relationship.
We had been living together for almost 4 years. At first I broke up with him because of his actions (going out a lot lately, did not care to let me know, no sex, lame sex, pitty sex, no meaningful conversations, etc). I gotta accept I expected him to react on this and just promise we would work things out, he kind of did at the beggining but then he just went for it and took off. I was shocked and the two days after the break up I tried to contact him over the phone, texts, waiting for him at work. All things I could imagine. Not proud of it right now. But hey, I was desperate. Well it did not work, he told me he had made his decision and there was no going back. I was a wreck. Because of the time we had been together we shared some bank accounts and financial duties, so I needed to get in touch with him to solve all that out. It has been a week from the break up and we are yet to meet. He says he has no time because he is looking for a new place to stay and that he has other things to do right now, but that he will let me know. Meanwhile I have all his stuff still in my apartment, pictures, clothes, etc. It is really hard. But I have decided to just leave it as it is. Will not contact him again, unless he does and see if when we meet again something has changed, otherwise I guess I’ll just have to move on. I am working out and renewing my closet haha, keeps my mind out of all this. Any advice?
The point isn't just that you get your ex back, but that you KEEP him. Often folks just have sex again, once or twice, but things don't work out and they end up breaking up again. So don't take anything for granted. Make sure he has the best night of his life when you make up, but after that don't drop into your “old” relationship with your ex, instead – create something new.
Please lord I ask that you allow Bryan and I to get through this difficult time. I pray that the anxiety he deals with lessens so that we may be given a chance to truly work on our relationship. We are blessed to have one another but as he steps back for a break, all I can do is hope that your guidance will give us the strength to heal and to see that our love should be embraced, cherished and honored instead of change into such sadness that will leave a permanent, indelible mark on our hearts.
I work on myself everyday (some days I fail). Trying to extract my self-esteem, self-respect and dignity from what seems like the other side of the universe. I go to therapy every week. I stay in most nights, I’M starting to get out more. But most importantly, I DO NOT AND WILL NOT contact him in anyway shape or form. He doesn’t deserve contact from me.
After a year and few months, my ex left me cold turkey. I’ve been told that it was immature or just selfish the way she just stopped..talking. She was 25 and I was her 2nd real boyfriend, she was a goodie stay at home girl. Well it’s been almost a year, and she’s still on my mind, i still wish we were together, maybe after I get my RN license, i can talk to her again. Sometimes I want to text her just to ask how she is or somehow to see that beautiful smile of hers again..It sucks that when I think of us, I think of all the good, fun, and happy times, and I never think of the bad times that happened between us, unless someone actually tells me to think about it, and think about how she made me stress and how she didn’t appreciate the things I would do for her. Sad thing is it feels like all she ever thinks about are the bad things and the faults during our relationship. I think this is where people that are in love differ…I can only see what makes her so special to me and why its so hard for me to remember the not so green side of the relationship. Maybe finding someone that sees only the good in me is what love truly is. Its 3am I’m incoherent, I’ll probably forget I ever wrote this..
A little bit about us..he has always felt i was too good for him, even though i never felt that way. His friends had even said i was too good for him and they didnt know what i saw in him. He used to think i was going to leave him as soon as i finished up this accelerated program I was in and got a job, because according to him i wouldn’t need him anymore. Which i didn’t do, because I got a job and was still fighting for our relationship. So when he said he needed more space i decided to leave the state and head home to spend time with my family for a month. During this time I was posting a lot on social media that I was having all this fun blah blah blah and making sure to look extra good in all my pictures, all so he would miss me. On all my stories he was always the first to look which made me think perfect he does still care. So, when i got back i reached out to see if he was ready and i told him how much i missed him too. It took him about 2 days to get back to me in which he said i cant do it thru text. I messaged back telling him how much i loved him blah blah and he said that i spiked his anxiety and to leave him alone. He said i never cared about him and i only ever loved him for the convenience of what he would do for me. And i was using him and he was just a butler to me. This broke me. So much. I cant even describe how Ive been feeling lately. Truth is, i think him seeing me have all that fun without him hurt him. I think he still does care. We have been a couple that has spent the majority of our relationship together or in close communication. He drunkenly called me the love of his life to his friends a few weeks before the fight happened. I haven’t been the best at talking about my feelings to him, it took me 7 months to even tell him i love him.
Then you cry, and maybe even look up to the sky, maybe even pray and think, ‘Please… Just let me get back with my ex. I hope my ex is just making a mistake and he/she wasn’t thinking it through. I know we are perfect for each other. I want to just call my ex up and say “I love you”.’ Then you look at your phone every half an hour, check your messenger, facebook, instagram, twitter, and heck… email inbox, to see if your ex would want to talk to you, all ready to get back together.
I went out with my ex girlfriend for 9years an have 3 wonderful kids with her we had our ups an downs the last 2 years were mostly downs an a lot of fighting we really weren’t talking so she broke up with me for about 7-8 months I did the whole crying asking her for that one chance trying to keep my family together she is really my first love I know what I did wrong an I’m trying to change an understand what I’ve done wrong well we both move out of the place we lived together she went back with her mother an I got my own place I still love her but I just found out she started dating just dating an I’ve seen a couple of women but I still have strong feelings for her she won’t talk to me an when she does she gets angry quick she gets jealous when I say I’m with a friend an she turns around an try’s to make me jealous in return why would she do that I just wanna know if I still have a chance what can I do an if I don’t should I just move on please help
I met a girl in my work place and we became good friends…she had a bf from college but she was not in good terms with him I mean he had a ex gf and he was nbreaking u. With her and she. Was not sure of him..I asked her to breakup rather than taking it this far..with no intention of us being committed.. Later we became close and got into a relationship known only to my friends and her ex.. After 8-9 months of things going peaceful it started to take a violent turn she still used to talk to her ex sometimes bt later it was on a regular basis now she brokeup with me and is back wit. Him… I am shattered what to do????
Im a lesbian and was with this girl for four years going 5 on july.she ask space for 3months no communication,no seeing each other so I gave her space but i broke my promise not to call,text and see her. I called her 12 times and ive been texting her also.and worst thing i did, iwent to her office so she saw me and ask what are you doing here, i told her i miss you i wanna see you.and i also ask her when she will come back and if she still love me. I keep on forcing her to answer until she pissed. So i went home and received text messages ftom her saying im not happy with what you did. I starting to hate you and you ask me if i still love you no i dont love you anymore. Now i dont know what to do? I dont wanna lose her.. pleasehelp me what to do not to lose her and to love me again..please
Just a heads up as this is an extremely important section. Remember when we talked abut how you are going to implement the no contact rule for about a month (30 days?) Yes, well you are not going to just sit on your butt and twiddle your thumbs during this time. No, you are going to work towards your goal of a new and better relationship by focusing on the one thing you can control, yourself!
Some people try to be there for their ex. They walk their dog, they show up at their door with some gifts, and other things. This hinders your value, and makes them wish you were gone. Aside from cutting off communication, it’s imperative that you are not visible. You cannot be seen by her, by your own doing. This will create value, as absence makes the heart grow fonder. You’ll force her to think about you, and will not let her have control, you’ll be in control.
Hey guys! So my situation is very unique. When I got with my ex I was dating someone else. The guy I was with at the time was caring and let me basically have control of the entire relationship. I didn’t want to be with the caring guy because I didn’t think he was attractive enough for me. So I was working at McDonald’s at the time and my ex that I’m trying to get back started working there. At first I didn’t notice him much because he worked mornings and i worked nights. But one day I went into work to get my check with the caring guy I was with. While I was waiting for my check one of my managers at the time that had just turned 19 and liked to start drama had told me that my ex thought I looked like his wife… yes his wife. At the time they were separated in the middle of a divorce. So for some reason that made me notice him and the caring guy told me that I would end up with him because he knew me too well. I had cheated on the caring guy multiple times because I just wasn’t happy but didn’t want to be alone. So I added my ex on Facebook one day and he started a conversation with me about a post I had posted. It was something silly that he said he didn’t know about but later told me he did. Anyway so we started talking on Facebook as friends and then we started snapchatting. One day I was just like “hey, do you like me?” And he was like “as a friend ya” and i said “no like as more than that” and he said “no lol u have a bf” I said “I’m basically not with him, but I’m pretty sure u like me” he said “I don’t feel good about it but I do like you”. Of I almost forgot. At the time I was 17 and he was 25. Yeah I know thats a big gap but he looks younger. Anyway so needless to say I broke up with the caring guy and got with my ex. About a week or so into the new relationship i was stupid and cheated with the caring guy who made me feel bad for breaking up with him. I hid this for a long time from my ex. So in this new relationship everything was really great for like 5 months. Then I started to be controlling and possessive and i started to act a little crazy. That’s when everything went down hill. Oh ya, I had met his 3 kids (ages 6,4,and 1.5). And I had a bond with the 2 older ones who lived with him. So everything started to go downhill and i got bad anxiety and started accusing him of cheating and I ended up telling him about me cheating. We broke up for a day and got back together. Once we got back together It was good and everything until we broke up again for another day and got back together. Again things were good but then we broke up for a week and i was living with him and had my stuff at his house and we had gotten matching tattoos. So that week was terrible I said I was working on myself to try to make him jealous and i still lived with him as a roommate but we never seen each other . Then One day I caught him at home and i basically forced him to get back with me. Everything was really good or at least I thought so. But then we broke up for a day and he said he wasn’t happy and didn’t want to be with me and didn’t love me anymore. I persuaded him to get back with me and told him I would give him space but we could still be together and he said ok. So we got back together and me being the person I am changed for a day and then went back to the clingy controlling and crazy person I was. We were together for 4 days. We broke up yesterday and I’m just devastated. Yesterday when we broke up he kicked me out. I told him I would take what I needed for a month or so and i would be back for my other stuff in a bout a month. That day I went completely Insane. I wore his clothes and layed in his bed and cried and posted sad videos on Snapchat saying how I just want him back and i also posted on Snapchat a trip down memory lane with every picture we ever took together. His friends contacted him telling him I was crazy and i was gonna kill him telling him to change the locks. So I stopped and took it down. I had a friend come over and help me pack. We hung out for about an hour and then I had to pick up my ex from work because we were sharing his car. When I got there he didn’t want to talk to me. He asked me for the house key and car key back that I had. So I don’t have either of those anymore. Anyway, he gave me a ride to my moms and on the way there I just told him how I was sorry for ruining our life together and he said he was sorry for his part. I ruined once we got to my moms because I asked him for a kiss goodbye and he said no and told me to get out of the car. I tried to kiss him anyway and he pulled away and told me to get out. He said that he was not going to contact me for 2 weeks. And then he drove off. I messaged him after he left and told him I will miss him and i love him and blah blah blah. And today was the total solar eclipse and i was worried about him and i told him to be careful and to have a nice life and i might see him in a month or so and i haven’t gotten a response back yet. I think I blew it but I’m hoping that this article helps me get him back even though he told me he doesn’t love me anymore and said that he fell out of love with me when I acted crazy. So hopefully it works. Please comment with thoughts. Thank you?
Act like nothing is wrong. Even if your guts are tumbling like clothes in a washing machine, try not to let her know. She's probably not going to want you back if you're acting depressed, mopey, or sulky. Make sure you're laughing and genuinely trying to have a good time. You might find that you've become a happier person along the way. If you are feeling depressed, surround yourself with friends or family. Don't wait alone in a corner and just hope for her to come back to you.
Your number one advantage in any breakup situation is to let it happen without fighting her choice to leave. No matter what choice words are running through your mind as she’s spewing her breakup in your general direction, hold your tongue. She has made her decision and at this point, you can’t make her rethink that choice. The last thing you want is another screaming match. Just put your hands in your pockets and wait until she leaves before you start hitting the wall.
Relationships cannot survive on love. Trust is the foundation upon which all relationships are built. If you break trust with your partner, the relationship suffers. In order to rebuild trust you have to repair the hurt you inflicted on your mate. In my work with couples, I guide them through a 5 step process to repair hurt. For easy remembering the steps begin with the letter A.
My ex and I dated for 2 years and we broke up 2 months ago. Things were sweet at first ,we clicked in almost every thing,but things turned sour when we both started college…we were both stressed and impatient and eventually we broke into arguments and fights. I complained a lot and started to become unappreciative.Even after the break up, he was still kind to me… I knew the reason why we broke up and I’ve changed,Ive become a better person. (my family and MY EX told me, not my own opinion) but he still doesn’t want to get back together. He suddenly became rude to me and it has been 3 weeks since we last contacted each other. Im not hoping for him to come back anyone soon, but deep down I still love him. Should I even try to win him back again even though I know the consequences? Or just move on and get a new guy?
I met a guy whilst travelling in Australia, and we dated for four months and travelled together the whole time. He said he loved me many times, that I made him feel things he never felt before and couldn’t stand the thought of me being with anyone else. Things felt so perfect. He made me feel like he wanted me so much. We are both from the same area in the UK and planned to carry things on when getting home. The last time I saw him at the airport, he told me he loved me and would be waiting for me when I got home in 2 weeks. However, as soon as he arrived home, he told me he changed his mind and didn’t want to commit to a relationship because of work and because his life is too busy. In the same phone call he also told me that he didn’t want me to get with anyone else. I love him so much, I started no contact as soon as he broke up with me and we haven’t spoken since (its been 10 days). I accepted his decision and told him that I couldn’t be friends right now as it was too hurtful, and that he had no right to expect me to wait around and not get with anyone else. He got very angry at this and called me bitter and childish. I don’t understand how his feelings changed so quickly. We still stayed friends on social media. I upload photos of me having a great time with friends, never post anything negative (although deep down i’m really suffering). I’m focusing on me, have taken up a new hobby and started hitting the gym more often. I just love him and miss him so much, every morning I hope today is the day he will message to say he made a mistake and wants me back. Is there any chance he will come back soon? or eventually? I don’t know what to do to make this happen. Any advice would be great.
My situation is a bit different. I have a boyfriend who loves me incredibly and so do I. But the problem between us is that he does not bring our relationship into his father’s consideration. It’s been 1 year and 4 months we have been dating. When he asked me out, he clearly told me that he is not that type of a person who likes to date girls and move on to the next one, I personally admire that about him, and I also think the same. We have a lot of mutuality. Our relationship is close to perfect, but he does not like when I ask him about if he will speak to his dad about our relationship so we can get married some where in future. My side of the family found out about him, and they have no issues with it, they just want to speak to his family so they can tie us in a knot. Recently, he told me he was going to speak to his father by the end of this month, but again he did what he has been doing, he dodged this issue, and here I am super stressed about what is on his mind about this. Does he even want to marry me or be with me forever? I need help, because I am so confused about what does he really want? I know that he loves me with all his heart, and so do I, but why is he keep dogding the marriage topic?
My boyfriend just broke up with me 3 days ago and weve been together for 2 years and 8 months. We had been madly in love with each other and he asked me to marry him twice even tho we couldn’t actually get married because we were only 16 at the time but he asked me all the time well we got in a fight and I told him I couldn’t handle how he was treating me so I told him we needed to break up, he was very heart broken and cried and begged me to take him back and I did within 5 hours. But then about 4 months later he broke up with me he said he wasn’t the same since I broke up with him and that he was done. well while we were broken up for about a week he had sex with another girl, just a rebound hook up and he hates talking about it. but He had lied to me about it when we got back together and said they had kissed and he left and I didn’t care because I had my love back, but then 7 months later we were using his phone to get on facebook and he accidently sent a message to a girl we were both talking for different reasons and he said oh hey I accidently sent molly a message on your facebook I thought I was on mine. well I didn’t really think much of it but then I was wondering what could he be talking to her about? well I got on his facebook and he was talking to molly about her best friend he had the rebound hook up with and I freaked out and left and he called me franticly wanting to know where I went and I asked him about him having sex with another girl and that he had told me they only kissed and he came clean and said he did and he told me he understood if I never talked to him again but I love him more than life so I said no were just gonna have to work through it and your going to have to be patient with me because you’ve lost almost all my trust. well we did have our fights but we always worked through them and figured out what was wrong but I did use him lying to me as a weapon when we got in fights and he started to get very angry that I was still bringing it up. well we talked and before he had broken up with me the first time he said that if we broke up again he would never get back together with me because he didn’t want to string things out but we did get back together he text me saying he still loved me and wanted me back so we got back together. Then he had me move into his parents house with him and things were normal but he got another job and worked more hours so it added some stress and I was getting stressed out about my own job and we did take it out on each other. but we had our good days and bad ones we would go on date nights and laugh and have fun and I asked him if we break up were never getting back together are we? and he just wrapped me in a hug and said it doesn’t matter how many times we break up we will always get back together because I love you way too much to let you go forever. well I found out he had been messaging other girls about our relationship issues which really bothered me because I thought we could talk about anything and sharing any of our concerns with each other he told me all the time that I was his best friend and I would joke around and say yeah well your not mine but then I would tell him later that he is my best friend and I love him. I just wanted to be able to talk about anything and not hide things. but then on my graduation night three days ago I had to work at 5 am and then do my grad stuff and he had to work at noon so we weren’t going to really see each other except after my graduation so when we got home after dinner he told me he didn’t have to be at work for a half hour and I thought oh cool we can hangout and relax since we haven’t seen each other all day well he started to rush off to work and I got upset and I said so your choosing work over me on my grad night? and he got mad and left when he came home from work he went in the bathroom and left his phone on the night stand I did think I was going to find anything on his phone he had only talked to his mom and a co worker but I was bored so looked through what he was saying to his mom and pretty much he felt like we needed to break up but he felt bad about it and didn’t know what to do and his mom just didn’t want him to feel stuck but he also was talking about how I got upset at him going to work but twisted it so it was completely different then why I was mad. well when he came back I just quoted his text to his mom and asked so you don’t want to be together anymore and he got upset and withdrew from me but after we talked for awhile we weren’t as mad at each other and my friend asked if she needed to pick me up because I told her what was going on and I told my boyfriend that she would come get me but then he changed and was telling me I didn’t have to leave and I could stay there with him but I just calmly said no its okay Ill leave and while I was waiting for my friend it actually looked like he was about to cry before I left. well the next morning I text him asking where we were at relationship wise and the night before he said he didn’t know what he wanted to do yet that I should keep my key to the house because he didn’t know what was going to happen yet, well when I text him he told me he just couldn’t get back together and that it was over and he was done but in a way that didn’t sound like him. and I begged him not to do that but I just went to the house and moved my stuff out while he was gone and I asked him what things he wanted me to take and he didn’t really care if it was something I got him he would say well ill keep it but if you want it you can take it. then yesterday I text him wondering if he could bring my cd and a couple other things I left at his house to my house and if we could talk and he was very short and said he didn’t know what we would talk about when the other night he said we could talk whenever I needed to and that he was always here for me and that he still cares about me and that you don’t be with someone and spend almost 3 years of your life with someone and not still care for them but when he replied with being angry and mean I just stop texting him because hes acting really weird and idk if its because hes hurt to and confused and doesn’t know what to do because he told me hes not happy with where hes at (he graduated last year and isn’t in school just works) and that hes going no where in life and that I deserve better and hes just an assh*le to me and not doing anything with his life and that hes super stressed out. so I don’t know what to do I haven’t text him today and all my friends say to just give him space and even his sister said let him be he will start missing you after a few days and hell want you back which I hope is true because I want to start over with a clean slate like this articles says and just try again but different approach I know what Ive been doing wrong and I love him so much and I know he use to love me too and when were together we are super happy when its just us but his friend who told me he was jealous of mine and my boyfriends relationship because his gf is off in the navy now he wouldn’t let us have time alone just constant on top of us even my boyfriends parents would ask me about it and say wow you guys don’t get alone time anymore and it made me stressed out because he is just using my boyfriends house as a place to drink and smoke and he gets jealous when my boyfriend isn’t giving him all his attention and I feel like that also had stressed him out too which sucks because Ive been blinded by my own problems and stress I didn’t realize he was hurting too. so im talking to his mom tomorrow to find out if I even still have a chance and whats actually going on with my boyfriend =/ I just hope that he cares about me enough to still want to try but idk I need advice on what I need to do and what I should do!
I dated a amazing guy for two years and we broke up 7 years ago. I quickly married the wrong person and have filed for divorce. For years I felt like I owed my ex an apology but I was never in the position to do so (my husband was the insane jealous type), so a month ago I finally worked up the courage to call. It was amazing! We talked for hours and dissected how our relationship was doomed to fail based on our attitudes, and how young and inexperienced we were. Every shitty thing that was done is now a joke that we can laugh at, and we began texting/calling regularly for two weeks. He is on a indefinite break from a long-term girlfriend and I am in the process of divorce, and it seemed like we both just needed to be able to talk to each other and be totally candid about our past and present.
My ex and I were dating for 4 months. It wasn’t like any other relationship I have ever had! We were always having fun. He was a police officer that worked really long hours and on the night shift, I am an office manager who keeps daytime hours. As time progressed it grew harder to see one another but we still made time for one another. We never argued or fought really. Seriously everything went so smoothly, he was caring, and kind, and super sweet, and always went out of his way to show me that. Well when we first met, he told me he was in the process of buying a house, it was going to be about an hour away, well this made me uneasy but he was always reassuring me that we could make things work. Well one sunday afternoon before he was going to work i sent him a text to see what we were doing the next day, well his response was i don’t know i have yo close on my house tomorrow. Ummmmm wait a minute what house? His response was you knew I was buying a house. So i was loke leaving him alone at that point a few hours later, mind you he was at work, i text him i don’t think this is going to work you are nocturnal i am not we both work hard and its already difficult to see eachother and you live 15 mins away. anyways he told me he needed time to dedicate the conversation to. I said olay and goodnight and went to bed. I spent the next day pampering myself preparing for the worse, he texts me and acts like nothing had happened, i tell him we need to have a conversation, he said he needed time to sort things out, welll i pressured him and he agreed staying together would just be delaying the inevitable i cried he puked, i realized i had been overreacting and apologized and well he hasnt accepted my apology. I went on vacation a few days later and he watched my animals while i was gone, when i was away we kept minimal contact, relatively amicable, but when i got home i found a very expensive goft i had bought him months prior for his new house in the bottom of my laundry basket at this point i flipped out called him every name in the book and told him to get his coward ass to my house to drop off my keys. A day and a half later he showed up gave me my keys we say 3 or 4 words. I shut the door and lock itm i immediately apologize for my behavior but i told him i didn’t want him to see me upset. Now we don’t even speak. I am so hurt and distraught. I know we were together a short time, but i have been in 2 very long term relationships and i can tell you i have never felt the way i felt about him about any other person in my life. I don’t know what to do. I am so sorry, I apologized a milliom ways and he just doesn’t seem to care anymore. And he hasn’t tried once to contact me on his own in over 2.5 weeks.
Don’t get sucked into a prolonged discussion from this point. Don’t try to work anything out. Simply wish her well, give her a hug and leave the conversation and the room. She may follow you and attempt to keep the conversation going. She may start asking you questions or demanding answers. Don’t give in to her requests. You’re not obligated to give her any answers anymore – she ended the relationship. You have changed the rules of the game and the chips haven’t even had the chance to hit the floor.
I hold many one-on-one consultations. The cost of such a consultation is $250 per hour, but would you think that an hour is enough to fix your relationship? Of course not! Time is a ruthless thing and it doesn’t allow people to talk about all of the nuances of their relationship. Important information can’t fit into one or two hours, and my clients simply can’t get all of the necessary knowledge from me in such a short period of time.
I broke up with my boyfriend about three weeks ago. He initiated it saying that things wasn’t the same, that he loved me but he felt like we were not happy together as we were before. We were together for 2 and a half years mostly in a long distance relationship but about three months ago I moved to his country to be closer and managed to be only a four hour drive away sop that we could see each other on weekends. It came as a huge surprise to me and I was (still am) a wreck about it… It is even harder now that I am in a big city on my own so it is hard to think about anything else. After that we texted for about a week because he wants to stay friend but it was very hard for me because it gave me the illusion that it was not really over and even though I tried to keep it light we couldn’t help but mention the breakup and how I was sad etc. After one last text where he said that for him his decision was made and he wasn’t going to change his mind, I was really hurt and asked him that we stop contacting each other for a while so that I can get better. The thing is that like many of you I suppose, I really want him back and I cannot help but think that this is the only thing in the world that I really want because I do love him. I know he is young (22) and that he probably feels like he wants to get more experience with other people but I cannot help but feel that we are right for each other… I haven’t harassed him or stalked him so I got that going for me… Now I am trying my best to not contact him for a while and work on myself to look better and feel better and hopefully see him again. I wanted to ask anyone for advice on this No Contact Rule, do you think it is efficient? Is there a chance we can be together again? Also since we live within a four hour drive distance it will be difficult for me to re-connect with him… I mean if he comes see me or I go see him we will have to sleep at each others places… Which is not that great to try to give it some space at first… Any advice for a broken heart is welcome! :)
My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago because he didn’t want commitment and he didn’t like the distance (Im about an hour and a half away for school) I came home every single weekend to hang out with him even if it was only for a couple hours but apparently he just couldn’t handle that anymore.. We would have been dating a year on Feb 27th. He said that he’s been doubting things for a while but couldn’t tell me right away. He said a relationship isn’t for him and he just needs to do his own thing right now. Also he said he’s not in love but he loves me in the sense he’d do anything for me which makes no sense? He bought me a together forever charm for my bracelet and said all these really sweet things that I just can’t get out of my head. The day after we broke up he already hung out with a girl and he’s trying to get with girls so much younger than him since everyone is away at college and he decided to take a year off. Im done school in 2 months so I guess i’m just wondering if he’ll come back? I can’t picture him just leaving me completely we’ve known each other for so long and had the best times when we were together. I think he just needs time to think and do his own thing for a bit until im home a lot more often. Please, does anyone have any thoughts? It would help a lot! Thanks <3
Reason #2 – Creates Feeling of Loss: Another reason to use no contact is, it helps in developing the feelings of loss in your ex boyfriend’s mind. Your boyfriend will start thinking why she is not calling me. He will start getting second-guessing to his decision of breaking up with you. Once he starts getting these second-guessing thoughts it will be great helpful for you.
My ex broke up with me saying that he just lost himself in the relationship. For the first eight months that we knew each other, I was not ready to dated to a very bad relationship before him, so he continued to pursue me and try to prove that he was different. He was the perfect boyfriend for the almost three years that we were together, and he was also the one who really wanted a commitment and future. We had our entire lives together planned out from the wedding to traveling to kids. We ended up spending all of our time together and not doing anything else with anybody else. Needless to say we smothered each other to the point where we were arguing over stupid things. We had classes together for another month after our breakup which was very hard for me. Initially he was very nice to me and would be willing to talk with me about the breakup any time I was upset. He told me that he just didn’t want to be in a relationship for maybe years to come because he really needed to focus on finding himself. By the end of our relationship, I think we had both lost ourselves, and I do feel like the breakup was necessary in order for us both to get our own identities back. He was very depressed at the end of our relationship, and it was during that last month that things started to fall apart. He started seeing a therapist as well. However, after a few weeks he jumped into something with somebody else (His status still said single) and changed his Facebook profile picture to a picture of the two of them together. He started being very mean to me over text and made it clear that he was very happy. People are saying that he wants a reaction out of me. So, I stopped contacting him. It’s been maybe two weeks, but I blocked him on social media because it was too hard for me to see those things and I didn’t want to make myself crazy. His whole family are still friends with me on Facebook. Everybody seems to think he will be back eventually, but that I need to focus on myself in the meantime. I was wondering if you think blocking him would ruin our chances of getting back together. I’m also afraid that he will be afraid to give things another chance because he’ll be afraid we will fall into old habits. I want him to see that I’m making positive changes and learning from this, but I don’t know how. I’m afraid that by avoiding his problems things are only getting worse for him. I need advice please!!!
He needs his space, personal time to focus on nothing but himself. I thought he was getting enough, until he asked for more. He was constantly tired, rarely made attempts at making love or kissing unless he was drunk… I thought it was because of his dedication to his work that we weren’t spending as much time together- which I will never resent or hold against him. He broke up with me saying that this wasn’t working… That he wasn’t in the relationship as much as he was and that I deserve better. What is so much more confusing is that he kept calling me pet names- Babe, Hun, Sweetie… Why would he do that? In my mind, it’s because he does want to be with me, and genuinely doesn’t feel like he’s good enough. I have been there for him through this, as a supportive girlfriend does, doing this not only for him, but for us. I gave this 100% and refuse to believe that there will be nothing in the future. I love him and God knows we are perfect together. Please, help.
I have known very rocky relationships that have sorted themselves out over time and then lasted, as far as I could tell, forever. Sometimes, these new beginnings started in the judge’s chambers when the divorce was being finalized. Sometimes afterwards. I have recently come across someone who married the same woman three times—although it is hard to believe that they have, at last, come to terms with each other. In these instances, it is often the case that the couple had not ever really made clear to each other just how strongly they felt about certain things. (They would say at this point that they told the other person a hundred times just what they felt; but I have been witness to some of these conversations, and sometimes I am left not quite understanding how strong their feelings were.)
True intimacy involves self-reflection and transparency, both of which play a role in accountability. Self-reflection occurs when each partner can honestly, without pride, examine their thoughts and behaviors and take ownership for their intentions and possible “wrong-doing.” If one or both members of a couple are incapable of doing this, a marriage cannot move forward in a healthy way.
Get some new clothes. New times call for new duds. It's a subtle change in you, but the importance will be clear to her: your new outer shell will signal deeper changes underneath. Get that new shirt that you've been wanting to buy, or those new pair of jeans. Looking sharp is an important aspect of physical attraction, and if she sees you looking great in unfamiliar clothes, she'll sense that there's been forward movement, if not wholesale change.
Hello Sergio, after I read your book I began working on myself and my life is changing quite a bit. There's a lot of positive news! I now know that I will succeed! I did a lot to help minimize the damage of my personal crisis and was able to help 2 friends who were in similar situations. One of my friends broke up with his girlfriend year ago, the other half year ago. I won't go into details about their girlfriends, but will say that the women have gotten my friends to a point where one started to drink heavily, and the other using drugs. Thankfully, I was able to help them! First of all, I wrote 3 “magic letters”, which worked like a magnet first on my girlfriend, and then on the girlfriends of my friends. I don’t know why it took 3 letters, but that’s the fact. The effect from these letters was like a nuclear bomb, or a knockout in boxing – our women still don’t know what hit them. We only changed the names of the girlfriends and some small details in the letters, but the effect was exactly the same on all of them!!! They were very surprised and interested in us again. They also corrected a lot of their negative behavior. I first tried this technique out on my girlfriend, then, helped one of my friends. The third didn’t want to believe that something so simple could work, but now he’s a true follower!
Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. It's not unheard of for a couple to get back together after they've taken time away from each other, so don't give up hope. Just be sure to put plenty of thought into the reasons you broke up before attempting to get back together, as this can help you make the relationship work the second time around.