My heart is shattered. I met a guy who I knew from school. We finally met up 10 years later and decided to see where things would go. After about 3 months or so, Out of the blue on a Sunday afternoon he arrived at my house and said that things weren’t going anywhere and nothing as developed . We are jut friends really than anything else. I accepted it gracefully and thanked him for everything. The following Thursday i messaged him to tell him that I have accepted everything, thanked him for everything once again and wished him well for for his flying (Hes a pilot) He replied saying he was sorry for how things turned out as i was always sweet and very kind and wished me all the best. Im trying really hard to understand what he meant when he just ended things like that out if the blue. I even saw him on a dating site and was active. I havent contacted him ever since and have decided to go off facebook for a while as i keep. catching myself checking his profile. its been over a week since the break up. Do you think theres a chance he might actually contact me ever again,?feels as though hes iced me out and doesnt really care.
My ex girlfriend dumped me last night. She said that I treated her better than anyone ever had before, and when I asked why she was breaking up with me she said it was because I treated her more like a friend then a girlfriend. I was okay with it and trying to start to move on but then she texted me and said “I hope that this break up wont be a permanent thing and that I hope someday soon we can get back together”I have no clue what to do but I would like to get back togethersince she was the only girl I actually readily liked when i came across Dr kate she help me cast a return spell and my girl came back the third day thank you Dr kate you can also reach her email on (katelovespell@hotmail.com)

Unlike you, dear reader, I don’t have any ex-girlfriends. Nope, not a single one. But if I did have an ex-girlfriend to get back with, I imagine I’d do so because it would feel easy. I imagine it would be like settling into an old groove in an old record that I hadn’t heard in a long time. I imagine it would be a very bad idea. But what if it wasn’t? What if it was exactly the right thing to do? Because there are different kinds of exes, is the whole thing.
The first thing that you need to do is simple, stop talking to them. You need to drop communication completely. You absolutely need to stop this overall. Many people feel the need to text them back, call them back, or just try to be in their sight. Don’t do that. You have to cut everything out. Walk away, stop talking, stop texting, and walk away from social media. When you talk to them after the break up, you’re going to end up causing them to think that you’re not quite as good as she once thought. You don’t want her to justify the reason why she walked away.

You need to do some self therapy. Start a virtual diary (open Word and start writing). Write about what part you played in the relationship failing, which you already know – your insecurities. Next, you need to really come to acceptance with yourself. Ok, so you’re unsure about a few things, but why? What happened in your past that is making you so needy with your bf/ex bf? What ever it is, stop it. Raise your communication level and just tell him “I’m insecure about _____ because _____ happened. So please help reassure me that I chose you because you’re not an @$$hole.” Just be honest, what do you have to lose? Oh that’s right, your bf because you accuse him of doing something he’s not. Yes that was harsh, but you have to be harsh on yourself. Take a moment to fix yourself, otherwise you have no change with him or anyone else.
Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
If you want your relationship to get back on track, then you need to be humble and accepting what happened. You can’t get your ex boyfriend back by pointing fingers at him. You have to be humble throughout the whole discussion as this is the best approach to tackle this situation, and it will make your ex comfortable with you which will mend broken hearts.
Yes, she’s back! I thought it was impossible. She seemed to hate me! I annoyed her a lot. She stopped calling me and didn’t answer my calls, screamed that I just need to leave her alone and nothing was possible for us. But as soon as I started following the rules described in your book, she called me! It took just two weeks! We met again and now everything is fine! I was sure I could never get her back, but your book helped me understand many of my mistakes. Thank you! 

Dear God, i know you know me who i am, i just want to say thank you for everything even im on the trials and suffering now to my boyfriend hopefully everything will be okay,God can ask you a favor i hope even his a muslim and im a christian, i hope his accept me as i am, then you make our relationship Good always his have no time na for me God but i hope you touch his heart and mind to remember me always and belong to his life everyday God bring our relation uncomplicated, i love him so much God you know what i have feel to him. God im just hoping his like before when we know each other. i need his care and love God i need your guidance everyday my heart so weak because i always mind him i hope God you touch him heart always to remember me love me and miss me always. i love you Jesus thank you for everything i expect your miracle to our relationship. Amen!!!
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If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.


My ex-boyfriend and I have been together for a year and two months. Recently he told me that he is conflicted over him wanting to be with men and wanting to be with me. We spent all our time together and he always took care of me and wrote me sweet cards during our relationship. He told me he was struggling with reaching out to other men and felt like doing so during our relationship would be hurting me. He told me that he cares for and loves me but that he needed time to find out what he wanted and that he would come back to me if he isn’t gay and things aren’t good like what we have. He also said there is nothing I did but that he feels different. He’s been in several relationships with women but I’m his first for everything. I’m 22 and he is 21 and I have had more relationships than him. He feels like he hasn’t explored everything and doesn’t know himself well enough.
Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
Look, I know how hard it is to not contact the one person on this earth you want to see and speak to more than anyone else. I fully get it. But just because we want something doesn’t mean it’s in our best interest to go after it. It’s like going to the gym. Sometimes it’s really hard to summon the strength to get yourself there, but you do it because your goal is to be fit and healthy. Here, your goal is to get your ex back and have a healthy, loving, mutually fulfilling relationship. That can only come about when you’ve taken time to gain clarity and perspective.
Hi, it has been 2 months since we broke up but we are still in touch with other. Whenever I believe that things are getting better, he goes in the past and starts humiliating me for hurting him (I was flirting with a guy at work and he found out). Now, I am mad at him coz he was not there when I needed him. I really want him back but not at the cost of losing my self respect. I want to stay away from him for a little while but I dont know how should I tell this to him. I dont want him to feel that I am going away. He wants to be with me but he does not want a relationship. But this is too difficult for me coz everytime I see him, I want more of him. What should I do? I am really messed up, please help me.
He ended things.. This is a guy who comes back to me and has my number for 5 years. And we were so intimate and shared our past. He said didn’t want to play games this time. He came 4 hrs back and forth to spend time with me. Pursues me. Why? What does he want? Why travel in total 8 hrs to come have sex with me? He like a egotistical narcissistic unemotional prick. Please advice.. Btw I never responded to his message. I left things.
WOW I don’t “KNOW” you…But I really like you! ?You are HILARIOUS and REAL and it’s clear that you’ve truly been “there” before by the things that you say. It’s like your taking these feelings and thoughts straight from MY mind and typing them out. I LOVE what you stand for (and what you don’t stand for). Well my question is in the last paragraph from what’s above, when you say something like : after getting your ex back he will eventually SHOW you (if we took your advice about showing we’re not putting up with the bs) that the break-up was a good thing.- Are you saying you feel they’ll still be the same way they were BEFORE the breakup (a f*cktard?) or they will possibly have changed for the better due to us setting those “what’s not acceptable” boundaries? And do you always feel that they would ONLY want you back due to a wanting to be in control thing not ever because they actually love you? Just wondering 

Keep in mind, once you get a chance to get back together with your ex boyfriend, you have already learned how to get your ex back and let go all bitter feelings you suffered in the past. Never lose hope to get the one you love most, even if your ex is in a relationship with someone else, just hand on! But, this doesn’t mean you have to disappear from your ex’s life completely.
“I was absolutely crushed when my boyfriend broke up with me seemingly out of the blue. Beyond devastated. I read so many articles on how to get your ex back but they all seemed so stupid. Then I found you guys. I read what you wrote about the no contact rule, and also questions to ask before getting back together with an ex and my mind was blown. I followed your advice to a T and when I was feeling really strong, I contacted him. We ended up meeting for a drink and he said I seemed different, more relaxed and comfortable with myself. We didn’t dive right back in, it was a slow process but it felt so different the second time. I didn’t feel so needy and terrified of losing him and everything just felt different. Anyway, we’ve been going strong for two years now and are looking for a place to move into together and I owe it all to you!”
You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.
My ex had a huge crush on me for about 3 years before we got together. When we finally did, it was AMAZING! We have super chemistry together, we click a lot character wise and we both loved eachother a lot. No relationship is perfect, but I promise, this one was… Until he found out he had a back condition and started taking these stupid pills which had loads of side effects and effected his moods, his libido, the way the thinks, everything!! He changed so much!!! After taking them for a month he has decided that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship any longer and wants to be alone.. This was 6 weeks ago! I was a bit clingy for the first few weeks and texted everyday but now I backed off… Still, nothing’s happening though! He keeps saying he knows what he lost, we were great but he needs this and he wants to stay alone…
My wife and I went to a dinner party at a neighbor’s house one weekend. It was a pleasant, but unremarkable affair, full of psychiatrists, as are most of the affairs I attend. Four days later, I walked our dog past their house. There were some newspapers on their steps. I rang the bell, and then looked in their front window. The house was empty. The furniture was gone. They were gone. It turned out they were getting a divorce. It came as a surprise to all those psychiatrists who had attended their party.  More commonly the ending of a long-term relationship is drawn out over months and sometimes years, even when both attempt to fix whatever has gone wrong. 

Remember that she has a reason for leaving you. In her mind, those reasons are valid no matter how stupid they may seem on the surface to you or anyone else. If you start groveling at her feet begging for another chance, she’ll feel like her reasons for leaving were correct and that she made the right choice. The last thing you want to do is give her the impression that she really can do better.
Dude… be chill. I overreacted at first too but it was more so because there is a child involved. Mine left just a few days ago as well. The first day she texted me back a few times but then she either changed her number or just let her minutes run out (prepaid). But after looking through some of these sites… I took their advice. Start working out…. like wayyy harder than you normally do. Get the testosterone and endorphins flowing. It will take your mind off shit. It’s amazing how much similar your story is to mine. We had just talked about marriage a few weeks ago. I am going to give it about another week or so and see what happens. It’s amazing how much a little time away will make things much more manageable with your emotions. It will be hard to make that first leap to contacting her but just be subtle with it. Don’t go all Rambo gotta come back now guy. Just be polite and reasonable. Don’t have any thing set that should happen. Read her. If she is accepting to it… go on with your bad self. If not… say something chill… like “well… I just want you to know that I had fun while it lasted. Take care and I’ll see you around.” And walk the fuk away.
Be honest about how you feel, within reason. Don't tell her what she might have done wrong in the relationship. Instead, focus on you. Let her know that you've thought a lot about where things went wrong, and show her all the ways in which you've changed. Tell her how you've become more patient, more forgiving, more aware of your own shortcomings, and be sure to back it up with action. If you say you've become more forgiving, be able to show her that you're not as quick to point out other peoples' faults.
I am going to warn you now.  You will be possessed by this intense desire to contact him.  If only you could talk to him, you think, you would just explain everything and all would be forgotten.  Well, it seldom works that way.  Chances are your efforts will be ignored which will just make you feel worse.  Or you will successfully reach your ex boyfriend and he and you will end up having a heated or disappointing conversation, leaving you feeling bad and rejected yet again.  It’s almost always a no win situation because neither one of you are well equipped right now to deal with your emotional states.  So just cool your heels and keep reading!
My ex loved me like crazy and i didnt quite value it. I broke up with him 6 months back. And then i realized i loved him, so i became clingy and irritating and moody, things got worse and it was the first time that he told me that he didnt want to get back. We were best friends from 3 years, and we dated for 8 months. Now he has come back, he just wants to be friends, though he is not dating anyone. I am so in love with him!! He says he loves me when he is drunk but something else when he is sober. He is giving me so many mixed signals that it hurts. I have no idea what to do.
Shelly I was reading some comments and yours had a bit on me !! It’s been a while since I’ve been searching for “how to make my ex come back to me “, and I think a lot of these articles helped a little after our first breakup. However, if you want to make this person become madly be in love with you, then I can recommend you to someone who helped me. I had a result in 2 weeks.
I learned by my girlfriend’s friend that she fell in love with another guy. It’s the middle of summer so I can’t see her or talk to her since she doesn’t have her phone(even when she had it she didn’t answer). I truly love her and need some help with this, not to be weak but because I love her, and I fear that she might go out with that guy if she breaks up with me. Is there a way for me to make her have feelings for me again? A way for not to break up with me?
yo im going through the exact same thing right now. the girl of my dreams and i were together for 9 months. i had been friends with her for about a year before. then we ended up together. the nine months was great. absolutely amazing. sure it had its moments, but every relationship does. then i fell into that comfort zone, where i didnt realize how bad of a boyfriend i was being because i was working all the time and i would be exhausted, and she tuned me out because of it. we just broke up 2 1/2 weeks ago and were still talking but, she seeing another dude, who was a shoulder to cry on when she thought that i didnt love her anymore. we had a place together and i moved into my boys extra room. now she doesnt want to stay there by herself so she may move in with him. weve talked and she seems like the breakup isnt what she wanted but, she also seems like she likes the new guy somewhat if shes willing to move into his house right after we broke up. but i can tell that she does still love me, and i want my fuckin girl back. she has until the 1st of january to decide if shes gonna move. i dont know what to do. i feel like if she does move into his house, it’ll be too late for us to try in the future. what can i do to convince her not to move into this douchebox’s house?

Sometimes the break up is so unique or troubling or complex, that it requires some specialized coaching.  Or sometimes, people do better if they can talk to someone who is an expert at helping folks with their relationship troubles.  Well, if you fall into that category, then you are in luck.  All you need to do is reach out to me (i.e. click Coaching Services in my website’s Menu Section) and I am sure we can work out something!
Need some advice here, my ex girlfriend/ girlfriend just broke it off after a night at the bar. The night started out with a romantic dinner and then we met her friends out at the bar.. We both had a great night until after bar close when we were trying to decide on what we were going to all do the rest of the night.. We ended up getting in an argument about something, to be honest I don’t remember, and she just told me to go home. She proceeded to walk away with her and a few of her guy friends so naturally I got upset. I contemplated on what to do and them decided to walk to her place.. That was obviously not a good decision, when I got there I got upset and accused her of not wanting to be with me and she went on to say that I followed her he and was stalking her which was not my intent at all.. After going back and forth I just flat out asked if we were over and if she even wanted to be with me and she responded no I don’t want to be. I then immediately started to try and plead with her and ask her why and kept trying to get her to talk to me about it and all she did was tell me to leave and go home, which I did after waiting for a cab for an hour.. On the way home in the cab I was so damn upset and sent her a text message that she didn’t care about me and that I was easily replaced by by one of her guy friends that was at her place with everyone.. She responded with what r u talking about and I then responded with I know your sleeping with him I could tell how lit up your face was when you looked at him and then told her one more time that she was going to sleep with him.. She responded back by saying she wasn’t and that I’m crazy. About a half hour goes by and she text me back that she misses me and said that she was getting a cab to come over.. So she came over and apologized for being a brat and apologized for the night.. I then asked her why she got so mad and she said she didn’t remember.. So I let it be figured we would talk in the morning about it, so we had sex and went to bed. The next morning comes and I try to talk to her and she said she didn’t want to talk about it so I did what I shouldn’t have and prayed at her a little bit to get her to talk and she flipped out and said I just want to go home so asked her again do you even want to be with me and she said I don’t know. I brought her home and when I dropped her off I asked if I could have a kiss and we kissed and she said ill talk to you later.. She finally got back to me 14 hrs later and said that she didn’t feel good and had been sleeping all day which I guess I can understand after a full night of drinking.. I did send her a text and left her a voicemail saying how torn up and confused I am about everything but didn’t say it in a demanding way at all.. The next day I sent her another message in the afternoon asking her if she would have time to talk in person and she said yea.. Being absolutely heartbroken at this point I decided to make her a huge bouquet of flower along with a handwritten card apologizing for everything that happened.. I brought them over to her place and she was still sleeping saying she didn’t feel good so I just dropped th off and we agreed to talk tomarow about things.. I’m just so confused right now, I know we have only been seeing each other for 2 months but I don’t understand how things coul end like they did I have been in this 100%and treat her like an absolute queen.. What should I so here I don’t want to loose this girl she is absolutely one of a kind and I genuinely care for her
He said that he didn’t think that we had enoughin common, which isn’t true because we would do so many old and new things together. When we broke up he said that he felt like we stopped being friends but then later saud the he was still my friend because we were really good friends. He also still wanted to hug and touch me and told me that he still wanted to do those things. None ofthis made any sense to me.
This will immediately trigger the same reactions in your ex-girlfriend that accepting the breakup from the beginning would have had. She’ll want to know exactly what triggered your change of heart and whether or not you’re getting on with your life. Your ex is counting on the chase, even if she’s not ready to restart a relationship with you. You’re reversing roles and making her want to chase you instead.
Dated my girl for 6 years and left her to go become a dive instructor on a island. I was gone 2 years but Came back 3 times and instantly back in the sack. I would crew boats back to the states and find a excuse to see her. Last time was normal I came by and we took a couple weekend trips and had sex and exchanged I love yous. Now 3 weeks went by and I came back down to start our relationship back up and within 10 minutes of her picking me up from the airport she tells me she’s seeing someone. I played it cool and when we got back to our old condo she told me I’d have to sleep in the guest room. Still played it cool. A little griping and OK good night. Played it cool for two days and told her I was back to get back together. Trying to explain you told me you loved me three weeks ago and didn’t want me to leave now I can’t sleep in the same room. I’ve been nice and not making myself look needy or desperate and got some nice smiles and laughs. Now tonight I sit to talk after she got home from work and she’s really resisting. Not cold but I tried to get I love you out of her and can’t. Fucking three weeks come on. Still sleeping on the guest bed tonight. I’m here for the rest of the week then going back up near Chi. to do a job for some cash I then wanted to move back in with her. She’s telling me to go up and see how I feel about her after the two month job. But I think she is just trying to make the rest of the week more bearable My birthday is in a couple days and part of the reason I came here was to spent it with her. thought that would give me a nice advantage if anything did go weird. It’s not working. starting to feel really bummed and discouraged. She’s been saying she’s working late and starting to think she’s going to see the boyfriend after work. When she told me she was seeing someone she told me he was out of town this week and would be back this weekend. I can’t believe that this girl I loved so much for so many years would welcome me back three weeks ago but wont now or return a I love you.
I hope this article helped you better understand what it takes to get your ex back and make it work. But there is more you need to know. It is possible to get your ex back, but it won’t happen because you want it to. You can get him back, but you need to know a few things. Do you know what makes your ex desperately miss you and realize you were the “one”? If not, you need to read this article next: Do You Want Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Use This to Get Him Back...
Look, I know how hard it is to not contact the one person on this earth you want to see and speak to more than anyone else. I fully get it. But just because we want something doesn’t mean it’s in our best interest to go after it. It’s like going to the gym. Sometimes it’s really hard to summon the strength to get yourself there, but you do it because your goal is to be fit and healthy. Here, your goal is to get your ex back and have a healthy, loving, mutually fulfilling relationship. That can only come about when you’ve taken time to gain clarity and perspective.
Broke up with my ex after 6 years, he was manipulative, a liar and a cheat. As soon as we split up he started dating another girl. I asked him about it and he denied it. Anyway, it’s been 7 weeks now and he has been in constant contact with me. Last week it all come out that he was dating that girl all along. He admitted it all to me and told me he wanted me back, I foolishly told him that we could sort things out. He then decided he didn’t want me back and has now run back to that girl. It’s been a week since this happened and I haven’t heard off him since. I know I should not want a person like that back in my life. But I just want him to regret what he’s done and come begging for me back. Will he be sorry? And Is this girl just a rebound or does he really like her? I can’t stop obsessing over him. Every minute of the day he’s on my mind and I constantly stalk him and her on social media.
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