I apologized for being very hard on him and demanding. And of course there were a few times when we got together to have sex. But things were getting too difficult because i still had incredibly strong feelings. all the while I got the impression that he was distancing himself from me. So I decided for my own sanity that I would keep my distance I asked him to do the same and that we would not contact each other for as long as it took. Reading this article has made me realize that I have made quite a few mistakes and that keeping my distance throughout would’ve been the most beneficial to our potential relationship. I also understand the importance of sex. but sex has never been an issue for us. yet I feel that by making myself so available to him I somehow devalued myself and spoiled our chances at reunification. I know he has other lovers. It’s not that fact that bothers me but the fact that he claims to no longer be in love me. And I guess what bothers me even more is that I am not able to let go. This may have to do with the fact that every time I asked about us all he would ever say was that he can’t give me an answer. After two months of silence I decided to travel home for the holidays for a month and asked to see him before I go. We had a wonderful time and that left me feeling positive. i spent the holidays with my family but thought of him often. We had limited text and email communication during my one month away and i returned from my holidays only to find that I was missing him more than ever. So I got in touch with him. He seemed a bit reluctant to meet right away but I like the poor sap that I am was insistent. i had questions for him but I disnt want to address them in an email. In all honesty my intention to meet that evening was to talk about our situation. I wanted to know how he was feeling what he was up to, progress reports et cetera. What I didn’t expect was to start asking him questions about his lovers. It turns out he’s had a few which is understandable given he’s an incredibly sexual person. Interestingly this information didn’t bother me what really bothered me was that he told me once again that he was no longer in love with me. But getting to that information was quite difficult. He skirted around the issue again saying that he doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring and that I’m a very important person in his life. Clearly he’s not ready to let go even if he doesnt want anything from me. I on the other hand am still very much in love with him and given that our relationship went deeper than any before. Granted we had our issues and we didn’t really make much of an effort to make things work. But both of us are really trying to fundamentally change. Of course as usual I could not resist him I had been fantasizing about him for months and so I invited him home and he did not refuse And here I am two days later not so much feeling regret as realizing that this is a lost cause. I feel more and more like I’ve made all the mistakes One could possibly make in such a situation. But the most fundamental mistake of all is that deep down I have little respect and love for myself. Most of the time I’m okay with myself but in this particular situation with this particular man I seem to somehow lose myself it’s almost as though I lose my identity but I really think that it’s just a matter of being truly in love with him. I don’t know which direction to go with this. I sometimes think that the only solution for me is to find someone else so i can really put him behind me. The only problem is I have no desire to be with anyone else. I know that what we had when it was working was unlike anything either of us has experienced. And it’s interesting that the breakup inspired us to change in so many ways. I do hope sometime in the future that I will be with him as a new woman and he as a new man. I believe That people can fundamentally change if they really want to. But the price we pay to grow is high.
I was with my ex for almost 8 years… it’s always been an on and off kindof thing because we were young and dumb in the beginning and then we would argue over parenting, money, the usual stuff. So anyways a year ago I moved out and the kids and I went to live with my grandma. We got back together… things were going really good actually until my grandmother got diagnosed with stage four lung cancer in May and then it was like I was put into over load with stopping working, taking care of her full time, the fact of now my gma has this disease and probably isn’t going to live and taking care of 3 dogs at the time because my brother had his here (thankfully not anymore lol) and 2 kids. My grandma raised me and so shes like a gma/mom/best friend. If I was going to Walmart my gma was going with me.. we are that close. So anyways though when all that was going on I kindof pushed him away by shutting everything out. I couldn’t cry over my gma, I didn’t want to be touched, nothing… So needless to say we separated in July after the fact I completely ruined his birthday because I did it on that day… I was yes, a complete ass. We’ve both made our mistakes and what not BUT….now he says hes “talking” to another girl that he’s interested in. but he’s confusing me because he says he has feelings for her but then he turned around and was talking about how things could always change and he want to be with me. but that he’s scared the same things are going to happen again….
It’s amazing what you can see with a little bit of time and distance. You might find you’re happier without him, that you can breathe easier, that you’re more like yourself again and maybe you realize getting back together with him isn’t a good idea. Or maybe a little time away causes you to see his good qualities that you took advantage of during the relationship. Maybe now you’re better able to support his vision for the future whereas you weren’t on board before. Whatever the case, sometimes you need to step away from something to see it more clearly.
So me and my ex fiance are no talking terms right now.. she left me a month ago and still wears the necklace I bought her and she wont give me the ring back because she says I bought it for her so its hers. I dont like to feel weak but I want her back and its super hard to not see or talk to her. She says im scum to her but then again she still has pictures of me and notes I sent her. Im at a loss right now what should I do to get her back
She’s playing with you until she get what she wants from someone else. You are her comfort zone you know each other so she is just there with you after what she thinks is good is not. She she leave it becaue she thinks she found the one to replace you then she finds out the grass is not greener on the other side so she comes back. She is blaming you for cheating because she is not being 100% with you about what she is doing. She don’t want to have sex due to the fact thst she don’t want no emotional connection with you because she might find someone else and it will be hard to leave if there is emotionally attached to you.
I’m definitely NOT saying you should have been looking to have a kid with her recently – not at all. I’m just saying that the relationship should have been very gradually progressing into more and more serious territory. Women need to notice this kind of progress because it shows them that eventually the relationship could lead to her delivering what nature intended – kids.
The system is designed to change your understanding of marriage , and especially your understanding of the problems. Here’s why: if you just keep thinking about things the way you have, you will only stay where you have been — stuck and going down! Albert Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
my boyfriend and i broke up like 5 days ago . i still cant accept it. the reason he broke up with me is because he thought i was rushing things . we were only going out for 4 weeks. if i wanted to hold his hand he would consider that rushing ? i honestly think that is he thought i was “rushing” he could have had communtication with me and told me instead of breaking up . aside from that whole experiance , i felt like i didnt know him as well . we went from barly talking to going out in less than a week. we both liked eachother very much though. what im going to do is change myself. not only to get him back , but for all the other assh*les who dumped me. i wanna be that girl that walks passed them and their like dayuummm we should get back together . at the end of it all i just want him to know how lonley hes gunna feel without me by his side. i honestly thought he was gunna be my longest relationship (my longest relationship has been only a month). and also yesterday , i poured my heart out to him and wrote him a hugeeeeeee text . his response was “aww thanks thats sweet (: ” i dont think he actually took in all the emotion and feelings and time it took me to write all that. one thing i hate now is that i try to be mad at him and i cant. i have to see his face eveeeryday and it would hurt me alot. im gunna have to live with this . #girlsgetf*ckedovereasy
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday night I couldn’t believe it I was really hurt and I have been texting him a bunch.I’m pretty sure I just ruined any chance of getting back together.he said he likes me a little still but says he’s not upset about breaking up with me.its so confusing and I hope I didn’t ruin the chance to get back together because I love him a lot.I’m really upset.
I am asking for prayers. As I am going through a rough time, and am doing everything I can to save my relationship, I pray. Lord, I pray and ask you to hear me. I pray that you give me the strength to overcome this trial you have placed in front of me, so I can move forward. I lift up my relationship to you and pray for healing. I pray that the love that I know still remains can be rekindled, and that you restore the connection that was once had. I pray that you remind him of all of the great times you blessed us with, and all of the tribulations we have overcome together. I pray that he knows how much I truly love and cherish him. I pray that you remove any temptation that may be hindering the love we have between us. I pray that you restore the strength within the two of us as one. Lord, I’m asking you to hear my prayers and I thank you for blessing me with this love. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Give yourself some time to reflect. Not only should you give her some space, but you should give yourself some space to reflect and think about what went wrong in the relationship. Take the time to sit down and ask what you did to make her not want you; were you too attentive, too moody, or too distant? Whatever you did, you have to make sure never to do it again if you want a moment of her day.
I’d greatly appreciate feedback on my break up, especially from guys. I had been dating a guy for 6 weeks. Although he was following up and seeing me every weekend since our first date, he never mentioned exclusivity or “the talk” about “us.” So on date 7, he invited me over for dinner and made his move. I told him I was not ready as it is sonerhung you can’t take back and it would change our dynamic. The truth is I was ready, but needed to know where I stood with him as it is not something I am casual about. We ended up in his bed, but I stopped it short of the deed. He seemed ok with that and asked me to spend the night, but I could not because my elderly and judgmental mother was in town visiting. That’s when our dynamic changed and it seemed to me to go off the rails. Very awkward. We had two pre-scheduled dates afterward that were in teasingly awkward. Then he called me. He asked me what I wanted and I told him I want something exclusive and meaningful. I explained that I am used to knowing I am on the same page with a man first and that I declined because was afraid that I would be serious afterward, but he would be casual which would be hurtful. Then he told me that whereas he had been “captivated” (his word) before, now it is just “awkward” (his word) and he does not think he can go back and pick up where we left off. He asked if I can go back and pick up where we left off and I said yes, I can. He then said he would think about it while he’s out of town over the next few days and let me know if he changes his mind. I found that insulting, but just said ok and goodbye. I realize he could have taken it as a rejection, but I feel like with my past significant relationships this would have been a big nothing burger, and certainly not anything that could not be recovered from. After all, things went far enough between us for there to be no reasonable doubt that I desire him. So, what do you think? Is his behavior reasonable or am I right that the punishment does not fit the crime? Any feedback and advice would be greatly appreciated!
It’s unbelievable how fortunate I feel after finding your email. For the past 3months, I have been so depressed after losing my fiancé to another woman. My money situation worsened so much that I thought I’d have to file for bankruptcy. I had a huge amount of debt and I didn't know what to do. Out of complete and total desperation, I contacted many of those so-called individuals who promised powerful magic, witchcraft or black magic. None of them worked and none were as wonderful, affectionate and warm as Lord Spiritual has been. He is definitely different from the others and I felt immediate hope and strength from hearing about the promises he had to offer. He carries an air of purity and divine strength that is as pure as fresh snow on the ground. I requested Lord Spiritual most powerful spells and I was relieved right away that I had someone to solve my problems for me. His spells worked wonders and I am now back with my fiance and my money troubles resolved itself after winning the lottery.
Dear God, i know you know me who i am, i just want to say thank you for everything even im on the trials and suffering now to my boyfriend hopefully everything will be okay,God can ask you a favor i hope even his a muslim and im a christian, i hope his accept me as i am, then you make our relationship Good always his have no time na for me God but i hope you touch his heart and mind to remember me always and belong to his life everyday God bring our relation uncomplicated, i love him so much God you know what i have feel to him. God im just hoping his like before when we know each other. i need his care and love God i need your guidance everyday my heart so weak because i always mind him i hope God you touch him heart always to remember me love me and miss me always. i love you Jesus thank you for everything i expect your miracle to our relationship. Amen!!!
When a couple has been very close for a long time, the rupture of that relationship is painful. Letting go is not easy and is usually regarded as regrettable. “I invested ten years of my life in that person,” someone may say. It is as if there should be some return on all those years, some tangible remainder of all that effort. It is as if the end of the relationship invalidated everything that went before. It is usual, therefore, and natural, to want to hold on—to recover what has been lost. To fall back in love, if that is possible.
Thanks for these tips, Jason. All of the other material I’ve read online had advice that I didn’t really jive with. “Don’t talk to him for a month or for 50 years!” Obviously every person and relationships is different so following a specific formula isn’t practical. Absence can make the heart grow fonder…or just further convince that person that there’s no point in going back. Your article stated pretty much what I believed I should try to do after my recent break up with my long term casual bf/sex buddy. Thank you.
I’m very hurt and confused at the moment. After no contact, my ex got back into contact with me. We texted for about a month and a half. Everything I’ve read says to meet out in a public place first. Those plans never materialized. He was so insistent on coming to my house first. When I did not comply, he walked away. His perspective is that we should just be able to hang out since we knew each other for so long. I just didn’t think it was a good idea. I’m kicking myself now. Had I just had him over, he would have stayed. Any advice?
My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. He said he craves for independence and he he still loves me but that’s just what’s right to do. He pushed me away whenever I try to get close or hug or lean my head against his back. I really love him and I want to get him back but we are flatmates, we live together and I don’t know how to do the no contact? And I’ve gone home for a few days and I didn’t tell him where I was going. I’ll be going back in a few days and I’ll be seeing him again. What should I tell him if he asks me where I went? I don’t want to look like a loser grieving so much for our relationship. And I really want to get him back.
Everything was going very fine, and suddenly he messaged me that he doesn’t even want to be with me anymore because he doesn’t feel for me the same way he did. Everyday he was like, he is not going to come back and all. When i came from my home to my college, he is also in the same college, we met again, but still he was like doesn’t have feelings. We spent time as he was clearing the facts that he doesn’t feel for me but still care for me. We shared some intimate moments and he is like that was only one moment, that’s it. How come feelings got vanished suddenly. We never fought and I supported him a lot in every aspect. i have tried so many things to save this relation.
Trying to work through marital problems can be a daunting process, and you might not even know where to start. Every marriage is unique, so figure out the specific issues at the heart of your conflict. In order to find solutions, you and your spouse will need to communicate openly and constructively. Try to stay positive, and avoid blaming, stonewalling, and launching personal attacks at each other. Rebuilding your bond will take time, so have patience. A marriage counselor can help mend the gap, so don't feel embarrassed about reaching out to a professional.
It may be sound terrible to you but there is no way to say it in soft words so I can say it loud to you. You have to end your contact with your ex boyfriend for full 21 days. There is no exception to this rule. It doesn’t matter how much you are missing him right now you have to end contacting your ex boyfriend if you want him to get back in your life. This rule is based on strong psychological mechanism and it is proven to work.
You get the Save The Marriage System, the bonus audios, a bonus set of rules for fair fighting, and a complete bonus ebook! If I haven’t managed to convince you by now, it is time for me to give up! If this is not right for you, then please, move on. But, if you are really ready to take action, I can give you the tools you need! Please, take action and Save Your Marriage
“I recently got back in touch with my ex and we’re trying to make it work again. What I felt really helped me through the process was the no contact rule for at least three months and truly working on yourself and learning to find happiness outside of the relationship. I got involved with different hobbies, such as sports/working out to make myself feel good, as well as go back to salsa dancing which was something I love to do.”
Please help me and my boyfriend we didn’t have a fight but I took all my anger and stress out on him for three weeks straight and now he can’t be happy because he is hurt. I need your loving and kindness to help us it’s got to the point where if this feeling that he has ( that’s getting worse )can’t get better then we will have to end our relatinship. We both love each other and we want this relatinship to work, it’s our fist real relatinship and we want this to work. I’ve been praying and hoping please St Jude give my boyfriend the strength to move past this feeling I’m begging you.
I have a problem likes it… My boyfriend and I were together for 1 year and half. in fact from 6 months age our relationship became so complicated and it was my fault! last week he told me that he wants to be just friend…since next week he gonna go to another country, where he studies, and he won’t come back till 3 months I’m really confused about what should I do! :| So if you find any efficient way…tell me plZ!