My ex and I broke up 3 months ago the relationship was about 6 months. I have a child who is 5 who he was very involved with. He broke up with me and he ended up coming back the same day apologizing. He left because he said he was ready for something so serious. We were great for the next month or so more in love then ever. Then he stopped coming around as much. Would see my child but leave after her bedtime. The sex stopped. Soon he started being short with me and I finally called him out on it. He said he just couldn’t do this that I didn’t do anything wrong. That it was him he just didnt know what was wrong with him but he wasn’t happy. What I think it was is that we got lazy and got into a routine. We started staying home more. And we texted everyday almost all day. Which I think was a big downer on our relationship. Me and him have texted back and forth sometimes mainly I contact him. But he will say I don’t talk to him enough or something. His not dating anyone. He knows I miss him but he won’t see me in person. So I was wondering if I cut off all contact for a few weeks and then maybe see if he will have lunch? I know once he sees me he will realize. I just can’t get him too.

For real, change yourself for the better; let him see that and he'll want to be part of it. But you won't let him back into your world overnight – even if you really, really want to get him back, don't. You both need some time to appreciate each other for other things then sex. And when the sex does come, it better be mind-blowing. Then again, don't be clingy and don't call him every day after that – love all over again – instead, take your time. Let him think about you and worry a bit.


I was with my ex for 9 years off and on. We broke up a lot. I was immature. Shes older. She told me I was her soul mate. I felt the same but couldnt show it. I would text her amazing words but when she would see me I couldnt back thenlm up or say them in person. I was depressed and lacked confidence. She finally had enough and told me she was done and I should move on. She has blocked me to and called me a stalker once or twice. Ive never even drove by her house or wrote her a letter. We were together 9 years! How can she call me a stalker? Because I love her and am trying to show her? Well, I realized in the last 3 months that I didnt appreciate her when I had the chance and I hurt her. I never gave her time or space enough to heal and so she took it. Now I dont think she has forgiven me for not giving her that space. I dont know. Fact is bro that women are capable of pure evil when they are hurt by the man they truly loved. When they stop talking all together its because they killed that amazing love they once cherished.
Joe Dillon, MBA is a professional divorce mediator and founder of Equitable Mediation Services. Joe is passionate about helping couples avoid the destruction of attorney-driven litigation and knows first-hand that the right information, combined with the right expertise and the right kind of support can make the challenging process of divorce less expensive, less time-consuming and less stressful for divorcing couples and their families.
Well as I said, you can affect a girl’s emotions much better face-to-face than you can digitally. And remember, as a woman, she makes her love-life decisions based ON EMOTION. So if you can affect her emotions better in person than you can digitally, it thus becomes obvious that meeting with her in person is a vital step forward for your goal of getting her back.
Yes, it’s no secret that an increase in the frequency and intensity of arguments with your partner are a clear indication that all is not well with your marriage. Now, don’t panic here just because you and your spouse are fighting a few times a week… every married couple will disagree and have conflicts from time to time, and it’s actually a healthy thing to argue now and then as long as they lead to resolutions or don’t leave lingering hard feelings.

In my career, many girls keep on mentioning either one of above issues to explain the reason for their breakup. It is very important to keep in mind that your relationship doesn’t come to an end just because you said certain words or did something that lead to breakup. If your relationship with your ex boyfriend was base on solid foundation then few words or actions can’t come over the long work you did before.

The best thing you can do in this scenario aside from not putting up a fight at all is to actually agree with her. She’s not going to be expecting this reaction. None of her carefully involved scenarios that she practiced before the breakup speech involved your agreement. You just beat her at her own game. She’ll start thinking back to your relationship and wonder why she never realized that you were unsatisfied in the relationship as well.


Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
When negative things happen, avoid being critical or contemptuous. Don’t say things that begin with “You never…,” “You always…,” or (my favorite) “You’re such a…” Calmly explain why you see the situation, not the spouse, as negative, and why it upsets you. In the ensuing conversation don’t get defensive, but don’t refuse to talk, either. Inject a little positivity into the conversation or argument. For example, try a little humor to lighten up the situation a bit, if you think your spouse would be receptive. If the humor backfires, simply be honest and explain that you want to diffuse the tension and you really don’t want to fight.
Just imagine a scenario where you don’t want to talk to a person and they are sending you a text message every 5 minutes. Your inbox is filled with hundreds of messages by them, even though you haven’t replied to even one. And later on at night, that person gets drunk and calls you and start saying complete and utter non-sense. What would you think of that person? Would it make you want to start a new relationship with them?
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it an emergency if he’s without some of his stuff. However, if for whatever the reason he was so worried something happened to you, at some point he would ACTUALLY start looking for you, whether it’s at work or at home, in which you would find it sweet of course, but at the same time you can tell him you’re fine and just need some space.
I say all that to make the point that AS face-to-face is how getting a girl back generally happens, you’ll thus need to set up a meet with your ex during the course of your texting or calling sessions. You can’t skip directly TO that part, because you first need to build some positive vibes so that she actually WANTS to meet up when you ask her to, but inviting her to meet IS something that you’ll need to do once she’s enjoying the conversation.
Remember; do not talk about the relationship during this date. Just talk about the things going on in your life and ask them about their life. And you actually have to have something going on in your life to talk about. You cannot tell them how you spend all night yesterday watching reruns of Jersey Shore in your bed. This is another reason why completing Step 2 is so important.
I dated this girl for a long while. She was absolutely perfect. We talk sometimes but she frequently ignores my messages or the such. We’ve been broken up for a year and I recently spent the weekend with her and some other friends down at a church camp. She seemed to flirt at times but then quickly stopped. She would always find something else to do if i brought up a conversation about anything but something funny. I can’t figure out what to do! Please help

My wife of 7 yrs left 5 months ago we use to hang out and still do things together for are kids but she recently told me she is moving on a week later she tells me she in a relationship already apparently she been already seeing someone for 3 mths now I was crush because we have two kids together I admit in the beginning Are relationship started off bad u didn’t see when she was ready to settle down I wasn’t it seems to now she has more argue towards me the love please help me I don’t want to lose my family to someone else
She said he was then telling her that he broke up with her because he was poor and that he might go back to his village and they won’t be able to call each other. So after they kept on talking the boy had to run away crying but my friend followed him and hugged him to stop crying and he still did not remove his body from her. All she just did was to tell him that even if they were friends she still loves him. And when she wanted to go he knelt down in front of her begging her to forgive and she said she has already forgiven him that’s why she came to talk to him then she left but when she was going she heard him crying and hitting the wall but she refused to go back to meet him.
Let him see it, but don't say it. Tell him you had a great time, and that you could meet up some time to hang out… he will feel like his leg was chopped of for not kissing, but he will know that you want more, that there might be a new, bright future for the two of you. All night he'll be flipping around in bed, thinking about how beautiful you are and how much he wants to get back with you. I'm not saying you should be ice-cold when you meet up, on the contrary, be cold, but a bit mysterious, make him wonder.

My boyfriend of seven months broke up with me two days ago. We were really good together, we had a great complicity, friendship, we were always there for each other and like best friends. What went wrong is that I have important anxiety issues and i’ve let them get the best of me and take over our relationship. I have a lot of fears, of abandonment and such. We were constantly fighting because of this, and I believe he did his best to be patient and there for me. My anxieties were mostly caused by the fact that it took him a long time to be ready for a relationship in the beggining, plus he wasnt totally over his ex. He eventually got there but I never completely calmed down about this, until it was already too late.
Since 1994 Marriage Dynamics Institute has been helping couples build stronger and happier marriages. Over 100,000 people have experienced our classes and workshops with proven, positive results. Marriage Dynamics Institute is committed to remaining a primary force in reducing the national divorce rate. Our area of expertise is with the unique dynamics that exist in a marriage between a man and a woman and our classes, trainings, and workshops are designed to help these engaged and married couples. We use the most up to date research available in combination with our extensive experience with couples to design classes and workshops that provide lasting solutions to real marital problems. We know how to make a real difference!
Usually, men that follow my recommendations are able to get their girlfriends back very fast. Some see results in 14 days, others – in a couple of months. I love to hear back from men who have mastered the technique described in “Ways To Influence a Woman”, when they write to tell me how drastically their relationship changed. I’m very happy to hear that they get more attention and love from their girlfriends.
She said he was then telling her that he broke up with her because he was poor and that he might go back to his village and they won’t be able to call each other. So after they kept on talking the boy had to run away crying but my friend followed him and hugged him to stop crying and he still did not remove his body from her. All she just did was to tell him that even if they were friends she still loves him. And when she wanted to go he knelt down in front of her begging her to forgive and she said she has already forgiven him that’s why she came to talk to him then she left but when she was going she heard him crying and hitting the wall but she refused to go back to meet him.
My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. He said he did not want to be in a committed relationship anymore. He just wants to be single and see what’s out there. How can you say those things to someone you’ve been with for 4 years?! 3 weeks later, he called me yesterday at 4am. I missed it because I left my phone in the car. I called him today and he said he didn’t remember calling me because he was really drunk. I asked him to meet up for catch up tomorrow and he agreed. I am going to follow this site’s advice: be positive and just have fun. But is there still a chance for us to getting back together? I still love him so much but I feel like he’s made up his mind to be single. I’m so confused and depressed.
The system is designed to change your understanding of marriage , and especially your understanding of the problems. Here’s why: if you just keep thinking about things the way you have, you will only stay where you have been — stuck and going down! Albert Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
I have known very rocky relationships that have sorted themselves out over time and then lasted, as far as I could tell, forever. Sometimes, these new beginnings started in the judge’s chambers when the divorce was being finalized. Sometimes afterwards. I have recently come across someone who married the same woman three times—although it is hard to believe that they have, at last, come to terms with each other. In these instances, it is often the case that the couple had not ever really made clear to each other just how strongly they felt about certain things. (They would say at this point that they told the other person a hundred times just what they felt; but I have been witness to some of these conversations, and sometimes I am left not quite understanding how strong their feelings were.)
Need some advice here, my ex girlfriend/ girlfriend just broke it off after a night at the bar. The night started out with a romantic dinner and then we met her friends out at the bar.. We both had a great night until after bar close when we were trying to decide on what we were going to all do the rest of the night.. We ended up getting in an argument about something, to be honest I don’t remember, and she just told me to go home. She proceeded to walk away with her and a few of her guy friends so naturally I got upset. I contemplated on what to do and them decided to walk to her place.. That was obviously not a good decision, when I got there I got upset and accused her of not wanting to be with me and she went on to say that I followed her he and was stalking her which was not my intent at all.. After going back and forth I just flat out asked if we were over and if she even wanted to be with me and she responded no I don’t want to be. I then immediately started to try and plead with her and ask her why and kept trying to get her to talk to me about it and all she did was tell me to leave and go home, which I did after waiting for a cab for an hour.. On the way home in the cab I was so damn upset and sent her a text message that she didn’t care about me and that I was easily replaced by by one of her guy friends that was at her place with everyone.. She responded with what r u talking about and I then responded with I know your sleeping with him I could tell how lit up your face was when you looked at him and then told her one more time that she was going to sleep with him.. She responded back by saying she wasn’t and that I’m crazy. About a half hour goes by and she text me back that she misses me and said that she was getting a cab to come over.. So she came over and apologized for being a brat and apologized for the night.. I then asked her why she got so mad and she said she didn’t remember.. So I let it be figured we would talk in the morning about it, so we had sex and went to bed. The next morning comes and I try to talk to her and she said she didn’t want to talk about it so I did what I shouldn’t have and prayed at her a little bit to get her to talk and she flipped out and said I just want to go home so asked her again do you even want to be with me and she said I don’t know. I brought her home and when I dropped her off I asked if I could have a kiss and we kissed and she said ill talk to you later.. She finally got back to me 14 hrs later and said that she didn’t feel good and had been sleeping all day which I guess I can understand after a full night of drinking.. I did send her a text and left her a voicemail saying how torn up and confused I am about everything but didn’t say it in a demanding way at all.. The next day I sent her another message in the afternoon asking her if she would have time to talk in person and she said yea.. Being absolutely heartbroken at this point I decided to make her a huge bouquet of flower along with a handwritten card apologizing for everything that happened.. I brought them over to her place and she was still sleeping saying she didn’t feel good so I just dropped th off and we agreed to talk tomarow about things.. I’m just so confused right now, I know we have only been seeing each other for 2 months but I don’t understand how things coul end like they did I have been in this 100%and treat her like an absolute queen.. What should I so here I don’t want to loose this girl she is absolutely one of a kind and I genuinely care for her
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