I work on myself everyday (some days I fail). Trying to extract my self-esteem, self-respect and dignity from what seems like the other side of the universe. I go to therapy every week. I stay in most nights, I’M starting to get out more. But most importantly, I DO NOT AND WILL NOT contact him in anyway shape or form. He doesn’t deserve contact from me.

Seems like you'll get him back. You've seen each other a couple of times and things are going good. It seems like all will work out great! But wait, and re-think it. Don't fall into the trap of thinking all is good now and that you'll just be fine… you may not. People that get back together tend to go back to their old, real ways, because they did not make any real, fundamental changes to their lives.
I’m confused… I was with my ex for 3 years n 6mthns n he cheated on me but when he was with her and he went to work he would call me n tell me he miss me n love me n want to b back with me. He’ll say things like I choose the wrng girl she’s controlling. Well 5 months go by without talkin n we was back together having sex , going out, having with each others family, but she jus kept texting him n calling him then she made up a lie saying she was pregnant by him n she really wasn’t but I feel like he still lover her because he reply back to her texts n calls her when I’m not around. Yesterday we out and he dropped me off at home and supposedly went home or to his dad’s but I called his house his roommate sayd he didn’t come home last night n I called his dad house n they said he didn’t come over, so I started to get worried n I called his cell phone n it keeps going to voicemail, but my mind is telling me he’s with her… I still love him but I’m tired of the heart ache n him lying to me every time he opens his mouth, we was talkin bout getting married next year. I need Advice pls help!!

So…I had been in a few relationships earlier but they were not too serious and were so immature. Then for a long period of about 3 years…I was single and I was quite enjoying my life. I met this guy at a concert and felt attracted…and before we can proceed, the very next day he proposed me. I knew that this was mere attraction so I declined and told him what I felt. But then.. After some days..I felt I needed him and so we came into relationship. He had a previous relationship with a girl for 2 years with which he didn’t felt attached. And so…he had approached me. Well our relationship was obviously a non serious one at initial stages…but as we proceeded…he started falling for me …even I felt the same. He said he was glad to find me ..and that I changed his life for better… It was all like a sweet dream till 5 months. He was too serious..he even planned everything about our future…and introduced me to his family. Obviously we had a few differences on some matters but we always ended up being together. And then one day… I found him flirting with a random girl on social site…I bit of overreacted..and all was a mess…and he asked for second chances… I said I needed time…and he said no he will prefer being single…and I said ok.
Hi, it has been 2 months since we broke up but we are still in touch with other. Whenever I believe that things are getting better, he goes in the past and starts humiliating me for hurting him (I was flirting with a guy at work and he found out). Now, I am mad at him coz he was not there when I needed him. I really want him back but not at the cost of losing my self respect. I want to stay away from him for a little while but I dont know how should I tell this to him. I dont want him to feel that I am going away. He wants to be with me but he does not want a relationship. But this is too difficult for me coz everytime I see him, I want more of him. What should I do? I am really messed up, please help me.
Thanks for this post, Jason. After I read it I had a little hope that me and my ex-boyfriend COULD get back together. But then I scrolled down to the comments and I read everyone else’s comments, apprehensions, fears, emotional and psychological hardships that they’re going through and I wondered — if this is how a person is making us feel, is it worth it?

First thank you so much for this website!!! I found it the other day and it has already helped so much with helping me feel empowered again and work on my own self-care. I love the way you describe everything, even though I am still having a hard time, your posts bring me back to reality and help me to focus on myself and know I deserve better. So the short story is I was friends with my ex for over a year at the same undergrad and we went on a service trip together. We started dating during the summer and it was long distance for about 6 months. All of my friends and I agreed that he was such a respectful, kind, and all around great guy. I thought things were going well, he would tell me how much he cared about me and how he was lucky and glad he met me. I was supposed to go to his friends NYE wedding with him. Two days before the wedding he called and said the military is more important to him, he can’t do long distance, and he hasn’t liked me for the past month and a half even when he came to my family’s house. I was heartbroken and it felt unreal because of all the plans he’d been making and things he’d been saying to me. I didn’t think he was the kind of guy who could lie to me. My friends are saying he could just be confused and nervous about having to start different schooling with the military. It feels like he didn’t even try to fix things and give it a chance. I hate how much he hurt me but I do still love and care about him. It hurts because it has only been 2 weeks and on Monday he sent me a song title (because he used to send me a song of the week) but nothing else. Then the other night he sent me a message on Snapchat but I’m trying really hard not to open it since he would see that I did. I am doing no contact and reading your article has helped convince me that I need to do it for myself and focus on myself not to get him back. I deserve a guy that truly loves me and will chase after me even if times get tough. Thank you for helping me realize this!

I am a 16 year old male.. I have been with this girl for about 6 months we have had out ups and downs but I honestly believe that I am in love with this girl.. A few weeks ago her parents got devorsed and she told me she couldn’t have a boyfriend right now because it was too much so I have her her space.. After about 3 days she came back to me saying she was sorry and she loves me and wants me back.. Obviously I took her back because I love this girl and can’t live without her.. For about a week after that everything was really good! Then after that I started getting some weird signs from her like she was starting to not really make time for me and ignore me and that type of stuff… So I went to talk to her yesterday and she was cryin and said that she was soo sorry and that she cares about me soo much but she though she was ready to be in a relationship but she actually isn’t ready to be I’m a relationship.. She says I havnt done anything wrong but I just don’t get it.. I love this girl and she says she loves me and cares about me but if this is true why is she leaving me??? Please help me my life is so shitty withought this girl :(

Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
hi I”m someone s ex girlfriend . yes I don”t understand why my ex walked out on me. without even saying bye bye. and why did go and cheat with my friend for why. my ex girlfriend didn’t have to do me like the way she did me. because if she did”t want me than she shoulder told me than. but I love her and I still care about her a lot . and yes I still wanna get back with her . because overtime I think of her I cry . because I misses her . wild I didn’t no that I”m boring . well why she didn’t tell me than. why sweet heart . but nope I don’t have a girlfriend no. sense my ex walked out on me . from tabitha

Please save our relationship. I come to you cause my hurts without the that i love he is my everything. I just dont understand where we lost each other we are two strong persons in willing. I pray that he will come and find his way back to me. We love each other i know that we do. We just need your hands to guide us back to one another. I know in my heart i bleed for all forgiveness that done wrong and i know he has done wrong as much as i have plz forgive us and give us the strength to find our way back to each other in the name of Jesus Christ our saviour plz help us to be together💔
I’d greatly appreciate feedback on my break up, especially from guys. I had been dating a guy for 6 weeks. Although he was following up and seeing me every weekend since our first date, he never mentioned exclusivity or “the talk” about “us.” So on date 7, he invited me over for dinner and made his move. I told him I was not ready as it is sonerhung you can’t take back and it would change our dynamic. The truth is I was ready, but needed to know where I stood with him as it is not something I am casual about. We ended up in his bed, but I stopped it short of the deed. He seemed ok with that and asked me to spend the night, but I could not because my elderly and judgmental mother was in town visiting. That’s when our dynamic changed and it seemed to me to go off the rails. Very awkward. We had two pre-scheduled dates afterward that were in teasingly awkward. Then he called me. He asked me what I wanted and I told him I want something exclusive and meaningful. I explained that I am used to knowing I am on the same page with a man first and that I declined because was afraid that I would be serious afterward, but he would be casual which would be hurtful. Then he told me that whereas he had been “captivated” (his word) before, now it is just “awkward” (his word) and he does not think he can go back and pick up where we left off. He asked if I can go back and pick up where we left off and I said yes, I can. He then said he would think about it while he’s out of town over the next few days and let me know if he changes his mind. I found that insulting, but just said ok and goodbye. I realize he could have taken it as a rejection, but I feel like with my past significant relationships this would have been a big nothing burger, and certainly not anything that could not be recovered from. After all, things went far enough between us for there to be no reasonable doubt that I desire him. So, what do you think? Is his behavior reasonable or am I right that the punishment does not fit the crime? Any feedback and advice would be greatly appreciated!
Remember; do not talk about the relationship during this date. Just talk about the things going on in your life and ask them about their life. And you actually have to have something going on in your life to talk about. You cannot tell them how you spend all night yesterday watching reruns of Jersey Shore in your bed. This is another reason why completing Step 2 is so important.
I met a guy whilst travelling in Australia, and we dated for four months and travelled together the whole time. He said he loved me many times, that I made him feel things he never felt before and couldn’t stand the thought of me being with anyone else. Things felt so perfect. He made me feel like he wanted me so much. We are both from the same area in the UK and planned to carry things on when getting home. The last time I saw him at the airport, he told me he loved me and would be waiting for me when I got home in 2 weeks. However, as soon as he arrived home, he told me he changed his mind and didn’t want to commit to a relationship because of work and because his life is too busy. In the same phone call he also told me that he didn’t want me to get with anyone else. I love him so much, I started no contact as soon as he broke up with me and we haven’t spoken since (its been 10 days). I accepted his decision and told him that I couldn’t be friends right now as it was too hurtful, and that he had no right to expect me to wait around and not get with anyone else. He got very angry at this and called me bitter and childish. I don’t understand how his feelings changed so quickly. We still stayed friends on social media. I upload photos of me having a great time with friends, never post anything negative (although deep down i’m really suffering). I’m focusing on me, have taken up a new hobby and started hitting the gym more often. I just love him and miss him so much, every morning I hope today is the day he will message to say he made a mistake and wants me back. Is there any chance he will come back soon? or eventually? I don’t know what to do to make this happen. Any advice would be great.
Broke up with girlfriend after over 2 years together. We had some issues and had been to relate but finished counselling positively. Change of job had me move towns. She followed me 2 months later when she also had new job. My job fell apart and I had to quit just as she relocated. I then got work elsewhere on temporary basis but it went on for 9 weeks. We barely saw each other saw each other. I felt pulled work wise away from her and I allowed it to happen. We split. I was in denial for a month or so. When realisation hit I was heartbroken. I’ve tried emailing to say I want to get back together but she’s said she’s not in love with me and we have no future and that she wants space to heal.. I love her so much. I’ve written a heartfelt apology for hurting her but she won’t respond. I just don’t know what to do. I think she’s built up her barriers and is determined to put me in a box and ignore me. What do I do? I’m so very sad, really love her and can see all the ways we could have a really good relationship but if are doesn’t….
Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
My boyfriend broke up with me last May 14. We were fine texting during that day. But when I suddenly become mad because of a little thing. He also got mad and broke up with me. He told me that our relationship is not working anymore and that we are always fighting. I begged him and told him if we can still fix our relationship. He then told me that he doesn’t want to fix it anymore and doesn’t want to be in my life anymore. The next day, I once again asked him if we can fix this but he said he doesn’t want to. I told him that maybe we should talk about it in person. We met after four days, we talked about our relationship. I asked him again if he still doesn’t want to fix it and he said yes. He also told me that he doesn’t love me anymore, though I don’t believe what he told me maybe Because I still can’t accept it. I cried in front of him and told him that I love him so much and I dont want to lose him. And He told me that he will still be my friend and he will never leave me as a friend. On that day, he told me that I can do whatever I want to do with him. We went to the mall, watch movies and had fun together as if nothing happened. The next day, he didn’t contact me or text me at all. Four days had passed and he suddenly texted me, he invited me to watch a movie with him and so I went. After that, we went to our respective homes. He texted me, how I’m doing though we had just seen each other that day. Because I was very curious of what does meeting up with him means. I asked him if going out and seeing a movie with him means its a date because I was expecting anything from it.He told me just friends and just invited me because he doesn’t have anyone to go with him. We stayed up late all night texting and told me that he was just checking up on me if I had already moved on because if not, he will still not contact me. He also invited me to go out again with him next week and accepted it. The next day, the day after we stayed late texting each other, he didnt contact me again or didnt even texted me at all. Because of that, I decided to text him and said that next week will be our last meeting because its hard for me to move on if I keep seeing or communicating with him. I also texted him that I need space after we meet up next week, I will stop any means if our communication and if he really doesnt want me in his life anymore, then I dont want him either. But, if he still wants me, I told him to make an effort. Is my decision right? I wanted to stop all means of communication with him eventhough I really want to get him back.

Me and my bf have been together for 15 yrs.. on Oct 12 I found out my dad is in the hospital. .he doesn’t text or call me all day..so when I get home I was pissed off..thats my dad..he didn’t even bother texting to see how he was..we get to arguing. .and he breaks up with me..wtf..like an idiot I start begging and begging. . No. .plz..and he just gets so angry with me..I have to leave the house. .I can’t afford it. .all wk moving out and work, stressed, heart broken to the max..and I can’t even be with my dad cuz i’m moving out..thats the worst..there were signs I should have picked up on. .like..he was becoming distant. .we had been kinda fighting but we talked about it..and I was really trying to work on the things we talked about. .I’ve been calling, texting. .of course. .I mean hello. .our entire lives are together. .but no answer. .no reply. .today is my birthday. .1 wk to the day we have broken up. .and to be honest I just want to go home..and be with him..at the same time. .we have a lease together. .pets..bank account *which I closed out yesterday* I opened my own..the utilities are in my name..I mean..I have to protect my name right. .at the same time I want to wait and see..ugh!!! He has broken up with me before. .maybe 5, 6 yrs ago..and he basically said he had hit rock bottom. .and blah blah blah..what am I supposed to do? No contact? While I was reading the article some things for sure stood out to me..I need to change myself. .not for him.. for me..I have become lazy..with my self. .and we were kinda on auto pilot. .but thats how life is no? We still did fun things..just not as often..we’re adults..with bills..and responsibilities. .idk..advice? Anyone?
Well we got back together all was good until I went back into my old ways of being insecure and needy. We had a big fight that reminded him of why he broke up with me. We ended up making up and I left the next day to go home ( he lives in the city and I live in the country) he told me he loves me and to let him know when Im moving back in 2months time and he’s going to miss me until then. When I got home I overcontacted him I apologized, he said it was ok. 2weeks later I pressured him and push cause I wanted to move down alread, he got angree and brought up the argument we last had and told be he has no interest in seeing me. After 2weeks we talked and he was ok and was back to asking me to let him know when I’m moving back. But I played into my insecurity and overcontacted again calls, texts, emails. He has now ask that I don’t call him as he has nothing to say to me and he’s going interstate to stay with his friend for a while. So yeah Ive messed up. Going to give him space for a while and see what happens. I don’t believe it’s a lost cause, I really have to change.
Need some advice here, my ex girlfriend/ girlfriend just broke it off after a night at the bar. The night started out with a romantic dinner and then we met her friends out at the bar.. We both had a great night until after bar close when we were trying to decide on what we were going to all do the rest of the night.. We ended up getting in an argument about something, to be honest I don’t remember, and she just told me to go home. She proceeded to walk away with her and a few of her guy friends so naturally I got upset. I contemplated on what to do and them decided to walk to her place.. That was obviously not a good decision, when I got there I got upset and accused her of not wanting to be with me and she went on to say that I followed her he and was stalking her which was not my intent at all.. After going back and forth I just flat out asked if we were over and if she even wanted to be with me and she responded no I don’t want to be. I then immediately started to try and plead with her and ask her why and kept trying to get her to talk to me about it and all she did was tell me to leave and go home, which I did after waiting for a cab for an hour.. On the way home in the cab I was so damn upset and sent her a text message that she didn’t care about me and that I was easily replaced by by one of her guy friends that was at her place with everyone.. She responded with what r u talking about and I then responded with I know your sleeping with him I could tell how lit up your face was when you looked at him and then told her one more time that she was going to sleep with him.. She responded back by saying she wasn’t and that I’m crazy. About a half hour goes by and she text me back that she misses me and said that she was getting a cab to come over.. So she came over and apologized for being a brat and apologized for the night.. I then asked her why she got so mad and she said she didn’t remember.. So I let it be figured we would talk in the morning about it, so we had sex and went to bed. The next morning comes and I try to talk to her and she said she didn’t want to talk about it so I did what I shouldn’t have and prayed at her a little bit to get her to talk and she flipped out and said I just want to go home so asked her again do you even want to be with me and she said I don’t know. I brought her home and when I dropped her off I asked if I could have a kiss and we kissed and she said ill talk to you later.. She finally got back to me 14 hrs later and said that she didn’t feel good and had been sleeping all day which I guess I can understand after a full night of drinking.. I did send her a text and left her a voicemail saying how torn up and confused I am about everything but didn’t say it in a demanding way at all.. The next day I sent her another message in the afternoon asking her if she would have time to talk in person and she said yea.. Being absolutely heartbroken at this point I decided to make her a huge bouquet of flower along with a handwritten card apologizing for everything that happened.. I brought them over to her place and she was still sleeping saying she didn’t feel good so I just dropped th off and we agreed to talk tomarow about things.. I’m just so confused right now, I know we have only been seeing each other for 2 months but I don’t understand how things coul end like they did I have been in this 100%and treat her like an absolute queen.. What should I so here I don’t want to loose this girl she is absolutely one of a kind and I genuinely care for her
Trying to work through marital problems can be a daunting process, and you might not even know where to start. Every marriage is unique, so figure out the specific issues at the heart of your conflict. In order to find solutions, you and your spouse will need to communicate openly and constructively. Try to stay positive, and avoid blaming, stonewalling, and launching personal attacks at each other. Rebuilding your bond will take time, so have patience. A marriage counselor can help mend the gap, so don't feel embarrassed about reaching out to a professional.
Ok, I read this after me my ex and I had been broken up for 7 days and it felt as if I had stumbled across the road to the Golden City!! I’m sure all of these steps will be very successful and I’ve Walready put some of the steps into action as far as forgiveness & becoming a better ME. First let me give a little history on the situation. My ex had been begging me to move in with him, which was aewsome thing but look I’ve done the move in thing 3times already and they all led to a big fat failure. Anywho, I just was so unwilling to do that again ecspecially since the last time left me raising a new baby on my own.. I refused to move both me and 3 yr old in with him & his two young sons without some sort of “security” from him like either marriage or atleast an engagement. Anyway, we had two break- ups one which led to us making up a day or two later. We stayed in touch through txt the whole time and then I decided to go see him. He apolgized for the break-up & so did I. He then Begged me to move in once again . I told him we would work something out. The next day was full of of I love you txts from him and then Outta no where the same day he called and said he does’nt think
My wife and I went to a dinner party at a neighbor’s house one weekend. It was a pleasant, but unremarkable affair, full of psychiatrists, as are most of the affairs I attend. Four days later, I walked our dog past their house. There were some newspapers on their steps. I rang the bell, and then looked in their front window. The house was empty. The furniture was gone. They were gone. It turned out they were getting a divorce. It came as a surprise to all those psychiatrists who had attended their party.  More commonly the ending of a long-term relationship is drawn out over months and sometimes years, even when both attempt to fix whatever has gone wrong.

Remember this step– and really this whole process– is about you. Yes, it is also highly likely that this step will make him miss you, but again, that’s not the focus. Your focus should be on getting to the best possible headspace and having the best possible mindset so you are your best possible self. That is the foundation for lasting love, not tricks and gimmicks.

Such great advice! For the first time since my bf has been ignoring me hardcore, I smiled at the thought that he’s really just a ninny ? The jerk left without a word and won’t pick up the phone when I call… No explanation just disappeared (I assume he’s my ex now?). I think I can handle ignoring him now. It’ll be hard, but this is encouraging. Thanks!
I ask today that you strengthen the relationship between my boyfriend and I. I ask that you give him peace of heart and mind that he can trust me completely and to remove his insecurity and doubt. May he see how much I love, appreciate and accept him. I ask for your guidance and strength and for our love for one another to continue to grow from strength to strength.

i guess that made him feel like under the surface nothing has changed the thing is everything has changed he says he loves me but he’s not sure of the success of our relationship because of past performance but he wants to try a part of him says he doesn’t want me to wait for him cause he doesn’t know at the moment i guess because of the recent fight we had but also because he’s tired of going through everything but i dont blame him he deserves better this is why im trying i know im emotionally messed i have depression and push ppl away i dont mean to do this im actually thinking of going to couples therapy with him because that would really see if we should be together and after that if not then we would have to go our seperate ways i guess but im not giving up on him because for three years he enver gave up on me not once he loved me thru all the bullshit i put him thru..im sorry im really sorry


That time you did tequila shots and went skinny dipping. The amazing sangria you shared in Spain on your honeymoon. The first time your hands touched reaching for popcorn in the movie theater. Memories that make you smile and remember the good times – these are things worth holding onto, according to Russo. "Great memories are the glue that can hold a relationship together," she says. "When things are tough, people tend to look back on all of the good times with their partner and feel hopeful that they can get back to that happy place again." Russo says it's key to zone in on how loved you felt in the past. "Get inspired to work hard on the relationship to bring all of those good feelings back and make new memories."
This is a great article. Thank you. It made me feel a lot better. I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago, we have been together 2 years and we had lovely time, we were so nice to each other and he was really loves me ,respect me so much also we were planning to get marry, but the think is he didnt have job and house beacuse he used live hotel and he was waiting house and he didnt get and he still waiting,than one day we had lunch together and good time than he said ido not want relastionship any more which he taxt me and i asked him why and he said need to be single,and he said i am not leaving beacuse anather girl i just want be single that is all i want he said. i let him go, but we atill friend and contact each other. i still love him so much beacuse it is hard to forget someome who loves you give so my much respect while we were together,
I have many more tips and tricks for tempting your ex back without contacting her. I’ll show you the ones that are right for your personal situation after you complete my chances of getting your ex back quiz. Only once you’ve done that quiz can I know which tips and tactics will work for your particular situation. Feel free to go ahead and take the quiz now.
You are always going to come up with some reason why you have to contact him. You saw sneakers he would love on sale, you saw a meme he would find hilarious, it’s his birthday, it’s his dog’s birthday, you really want to update him on your crazy co-worker and the latest installment of her shenanigans, and on and on. But you must resist! Recognize what’s really happening, there is nothing urgent you need to tell him, you just want to talk to him because you miss him. But remember reaching out at this stage will not bring him back into your life. 

Español: recuperar a tu ex novio, Português: Reconquistar o seu Ex Namorado, Français: récupérer son ex petit‐ami, Italiano: Riconquistare un Ex, Deutsch: Den Exfreund zurückbekommen, Русский: вернуть бывшего парня, 中文: 让你的前男友回来, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Kembali Mantan Pacar Anda, Nederlands: Je ex vriendje weer terugkrijgen, العربية: استعادة حبيبك السابق, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स बॉयफ़्रेंड को वापस पाएँ, ไทย: กลับไปคืนดีกับแฟนหนุ่มคนเก่าของคุณ, Tiếng Việt: Khiến bạn trai cũ quay lại với bạn, 한국어: 헤어진 남자친구, 다시 잡는 법, 日本語: 元彼氏を取り戻す

It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.


I met a guy whilst travelling in Australia, and we dated for four months and travelled together the whole time. He said he loved me many times, that I made him feel things he never felt before and couldn’t stand the thought of me being with anyone else. Things felt so perfect. He made me feel like he wanted me so much. We are both from the same area in the UK and planned to carry things on when getting home. The last time I saw him at the airport, he told me he loved me and would be waiting for me when I got home in 2 weeks. However, as soon as he arrived home, he told me he changed his mind and didn’t want to commit to a relationship because of work and because his life is too busy. In the same phone call he also told me that he didn’t want me to get with anyone else. I love him so much, I started no contact as soon as he broke up with me and we haven’t spoken since (its been 10 days). I accepted his decision and told him that I couldn’t be friends right now as it was too hurtful, and that he had no right to expect me to wait around and not get with anyone else. He got very angry at this and called me bitter and childish. I don’t understand how his feelings changed so quickly. We still stayed friends on social media. I upload photos of me having a great time with friends, never post anything negative (although deep down i’m really suffering). I’m focusing on me, have taken up a new hobby and started hitting the gym more often. I just love him and miss him so much, every morning I hope today is the day he will message to say he made a mistake and wants me back. Is there any chance he will come back soon? or eventually? I don’t know what to do to make this happen. Any advice would be great.

So, my ex boyfriend had a friend who killed himself just about 3 weeks ago. It hit my boyfriend really hard and he started to change. He got quieter and quieter and soon wasn’t even the person I had been dating for a year. I finally asked him if he even wanted to be with me, and he replied “Its not that I don’t want to be with you, I just feel empty”. He ended the relationship saying he needs to figure out how to fix himself and fill the hole he has inside him, but he wants to do that alone. I really do not know what to do at this point. He messaged me twice. Once was asking how I was doing, and the other was him telling me I was welcome to see the cats if i ever wanted to (we owned cats together) so I guess I want to know if this advise you have given in this article is going to work. Because I honestly think he is really confused and doesn’t know what he feels. I would appreciate any advise!

Ok gonna give this a bash sounds like good advice for me just now! Been with my boyf a year and half just moved in together 2 months ago. Recently we have been having massive arguments where neither of us seem to be able to walk away from or stop hurting each other. We had another silly argument last week and he has now left me saying its over and we can’t keep going round in circles. We have both been married before and know that we have never felt this strongly for anyone I’m our pasts and when we are not arguing things are amazing. I know that he is very stubborn and insecure (not saying I’m perfect!) but I really do feel that if we can just learn to communicate better and actually walk away and forgive when having an argument we can get thru this and grow together but he just says there’s no going back! Anymore advise or help would be greatly appreciated here as I’m a mess rite now x


If your breakup hit you completely unexpectedly and you didn’t see it coming, it’s probably hitting you really hard. You need to pick yourself up from the ground, dig the stiletto out of your still-beating heart and figure out where to go from here. Immediately following the breakup is the pivotal moment where you need to exercise caution. You can’t afford to throw yourself a pity party right now, and chugging a case of beer isn’t going to help clear your mind. You need to get going and take the best possible steps to reconnect your relationship, and you need to start now.
Me an my boyfriend been on and off for months! He’s family was extremely interfering and very nosey! We met 9 months ago and dated for 8 an half months. We had arguements over his family alot. And both out jealousy and insecurity. I know it’s sounds crazy but we agreed to be friends but we still love eachother. An I’m wondering if that’s all we are ever going to be now. I need to cut ties to move on in literally begging him to give me another chance but of course his family have to stick their nose in! But if I got back with him I just ignore them and tolerate them! I’m not bothered about them. I just want my man back. I love him he loves me why can’t they just butt out and stop interfering? Sounds nasty but if I don’t get him back I hope he meets a really horrible girlfriend in the future who treats him like crap. And stops him seeing his friends. For three weeks he messed me round saying we was just seeing eachother an his family hated it. UNTILL his mom shouted in my face on the webcam then he took his moms side an called it off. So now were just friends and not seeing him as almost killed me. I wish now I had of never bothered and stopped on my own!
Well we got back together all was good until I went back into my old ways of being insecure and needy. We had a big fight that reminded him of why he broke up with me. We ended up making up and I left the next day to go home ( he lives in the city and I live in the country) he told me he loves me and to let him know when Im moving back in 2months time and he’s going to miss me until then. When I got home I overcontacted him I apologized, he said it was ok. 2weeks later I pressured him and push cause I wanted to move down alread, he got angree and brought up the argument we last had and told be he has no interest in seeing me. After 2weeks we talked and he was ok and was back to asking me to let him know when I’m moving back. But I played into my insecurity and overcontacted again calls, texts, emails. He has now ask that I don’t call him as he has nothing to say to me and he’s going interstate to stay with his friend for a while. So yeah Ive messed up. Going to give him space for a while and see what happens. I don’t believe it’s a lost cause, I really have to change.

Thanks for this post, Jason. After I read it I had a little hope that me and my ex-boyfriend COULD get back together. But then I scrolled down to the comments and I read everyone else’s comments, apprehensions, fears, emotional and psychological hardships that they’re going through and I wondered — if this is how a person is making us feel, is it worth it?


Do something nice for her without expecting her to pay you back. If she's studying late for an exam, pop by with her favorite tea or coffee and let her know that you know she's going to kill it tomorrow. If one of her friends gets in an accident, stop by and pay your respects (the friend will definitely let your ex know you stopped by). If your ex mentions she wanted to see a movie, buy her two tickets for her and her friend to see, and don't butt in. Your time will come soon.


Unfortunately, partners often go through mutual misunderstandings, because no one teaches us how to act in a relationship. What we see on TV and in movies, what we are told by many friends, about the behavior of men and women is most often very far from reality. So if you are blaming yourself, I am telling you to stop! It is possible that not everything in the demise of your relationship is your fault! If you would have known exactly what to do to keep your couple in a happy state, I’m sure you would have done everything that depended on you. Most likely you just didn’t have the right information. But everything can still be fixed...
Give yourself permission to stop trying when you're ready. No matter how good things used to be, or how much one party wants the relationship to keep going, sometimes it's clear that it has to end. If you've already put in effort trying to save the relationship, and you no longer feel love or the will to try to reignite it, it's OK not to force yourself to keep trying. Don't spend months or years dragging it out and criticizing yourself for not being able to make it work. It's OK to choose happiness over self-sacrifice. When one person stops participating in the relationship, it's better for both people if it ends.
Hi my boyfriend always use to talk with for a couple of days later he will fight and we wont be in contact for 3-6 months after thathe will msg me and he will b normal as before and again he will fight and wont b in contact for 3-6 months this is go on repeating from 3 years i cant understand whether he loves me or hates me but i love him so much just suggest me how to make him mine completely
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