I was with my ex for 1 year and 3 months. Before our one year anniversary he told me he doesn’t feel the same way about me as he did before. He just said he fell out of love with me. I begged for him to stay and he stayed with me. Our relationship seemed fine but then in January he became super distant and I had a feeling he cheated on me so I asked him and he was honest about it. We broke up for a day then we got back together and on February16th he broke up with me. Almost every time I saw him before that I made the mistake of trying to figure out why he didn’t love me and how to fix it. I kept asking him serious questions and answers to fix the problem. I thought it would magically make him love me again. After he broke up with me I begged for him to stay for about a week and I am now trying no contact. Will no contact work? Should I just give up? Is it too late? I love him do much
More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively. Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast. Remember, you still have to be the one to end the conversation first. Lets look at how a conversation like this might play out using an example from above:
Apologize. Think deeply about anything you did or didn't do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the relationship, and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology. Take full responsibility for the offense, without blaming your ex, giving excuses, or expecting an apology (or even forgiveness) in return. It may very well be that your ex contributed to the situation, but you cannot apologize for someone else; you can only apologize for yourself. Leave him or her out of it and odds are the apology will be reciprocated.
By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.
My boyfriend just broke up with me a week ago. We had been dating about 4 months. The first two months of our relationship, he worked a normal 9-5 job and we were able to see each other once, twice, or even more times a week. In December he went back to working a completely opposite shift as me, and six days a week, meaning that we had very little time to see each other. Only about once every week to two weeks. We talked about how difficult it was to see each other because of his work schedule, but that he really cared about me and was going to try to make it work because it meant something to him. The next time I saw him three weeks later, he said that he didn’t think he would be able to commit the time to the relationship. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about me, or enjoy my company, but that he couldn’t see me very often and when he had time off on the weekends, there were other things that he needed to do because he could only do them then. He said that it didn’t mean he wouldn’t be interested in taking me out every couples of weeks or so, but that it wouldn’t be anything more than a date, not a relationship. He also said that it had nothing to do with anything that I did, that he always had a great time with me (we never got into any fights or arguments), and the breakup wasn’t anything he particularly wanted to do, but he knew that I wanted more than he could give me. He mentioned that if his schedule changed in the somewhat near future, or if his feelings towards committing to a relationship changed, I would be the first one to know. I really feel like we’re right together, and he said that he thought we were good together, and I could honestly see myself with him for the long haul. How long should I wait before I contact him? We had talked everyday for the past 3 months, and now nothing. He’s leaving for a 3 week long business trip in April. Should I contact him and try to see him before he leaves, or wait until he gets back? I would be willing to have a relationship with him even if it meant not seeing him very often, as long as I knew we would be serious once he got back on a different schedule. I’m pretty upset and hurt about it, and any advice would be helpful. Thanks!
I’m trying this out… We broke up almost 3 months ago. Within a week he had a new girlfriend. He told me he just wants to be friends. But also says how he can’t get over me, is still in love with me and wants to have a baby. But what I can’t understand is why he doesn’t want to me committed with me. We’ve been talking for the past two weeks and even had sex a few times. After reading this I feel like I should just start over. Step by step.. At this point I really don’t know how else to deal with it!! My enitre heart is broken, he’s truly the love of my life… Advise please!!!
About 3 months ago, me and my ex boyfriend split up. We had been talking to eachother for about 2 weeks, started ‘seeing eachother’ for a week, then were in a relationship…for a week. -.- Things were going great, I’d go round his occasionally, we both knew the meanings of having our own space as we’ve both had relationships with space issues, but after him saying he saw us going really far, he suddenly ended it. To this day I still don’t fully understand why. We still talk, but most of it has been biting eachothers heads off. During that time, we never had sex. We did sexual things, but we never did the deal. (Glad I didn’t) But since we broke it off he’s said he wants to do that with me but doesn’t want a relationship. Stupid thing is, I’m still crazy about him. I’m the kind of person who falls in love too hard and to quickly. Last night he gave me a phone call saying how sorry he was for the way he treated me and he wanted to try things again. After finding out he had been drinking last night makes me wonder if he’s telling the truth or not. I’m supposed to be meeting him tomorrow to talk about things, so I’m going to try these steps. I need him back. I haven’t been the girl I usually am since we broke up. Everyone knows me as the loud and energetic nut. I’m the exact opposite at the moment. Fingers crossed!!
This is when I felt like I really met Mary. I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t jealous, and I wasn’t distracted—I had a clear mind, and I loved her. She was the kind of girl I’d always call back, and always take out for dates, and always hold hands with. She’s the kind of girl I never want to be away from. I’d seen what life looked like without Mary (cue damp Jimmy Stewart shouting “Mahhhhrrrrrryyyyy, don’t you remember me Mary?” in It’s a Wonderful Life), and I had a new appreciation for her. I loved the person she had turned into: She had built a life for herself in New York and was the person I know she always wanted to be—she grew her bangs out, too, which I guess is a big thing for women?
Lord I come to you with worry on my heart. I broke my boyfriend’s heart, and my have lost him forever. I just ask that you give him the gift of forgiveness. I ask that you open his heart and allow him to see that our relationship is worth saving. I ask that you be a force in our relationship and help us to fight through this terrible time and fix our relationship one day at a time. I don’t know where else to turn and I know that you work miracles. I am asking for a miracle at this point. Things look really bad right now but I know that all I need is faith the size of the mustard seed. I pray that you help me and my boyfriend get through this and I pray that my family stays together, I ask this in your name.
While she already has you on her mind, you can write her a brief note. In order to be the most effective, it should be written by hand and not typed out. Simply say that she was right after all – that you think that ending the relationship was the best thing to do. Keep it to fewer than three sentences long, and then mail it. As tempting as it may be to just leave it somewhere for her to find or drop it off at her apartment, don’t. Then let it go.
Your ideas seem great, but i feel like my situation may be a little different seeing as how my ex bf is different. Long story short, we had been dating for 9 months and I even lived with him for a bit when i was in between leases. We started getting into a lot of fights that came from his insecurities. He can be a bit short tempered at times as well, and one stupid fight that I caused turned into this big one. I definitely said some things that struck a nerve with him (i was pmsing at the time). So we decided to take a short break. I tried ending the break but he didnt seem ready in which i irrationally broke up with him thinking he didnt want to be with me. It was juvenile of me, I have so many regrets from it. He got mad blah blah blah, so we decided to just go back to taking a break.
Breakup is hard as it is, especially if you are still obsessing over your ex and wondering all the time whether or not they miss you. On top of that, if your ex starts dating someone else, it’s almost feels like someone punched you really hard in your stomach (while wearing a wolverine claw). Nothing can prepare you for this feeling. But it happens. And no, it’s nothing to worry about.
My ex-boyfriend and I have been together for a year and two months. Recently he told me that he is conflicted over him wanting to be with men and wanting to be with me. We spent all our time together and he always took care of me and wrote me sweet cards during our relationship. He told me he was struggling with reaching out to other men and felt like doing so during our relationship would be hurting me. He told me that he cares for and loves me but that he needed time to find out what he wanted and that he would come back to me if he isn’t gay and things aren’t good like what we have. He also said there is nothing I did but that he feels different. He’s been in several relationships with women but I’m his first for everything. I’m 22 and he is 21 and I have had more relationships than him. He feels like he hasn’t explored everything and doesn’t know himself well enough.
Give yourself permission to stop trying when you're ready. No matter how good things used to be, or how much one party wants the relationship to keep going, sometimes it's clear that it has to end. If you've already put in effort trying to save the relationship, and you no longer feel love or the will to try to reignite it, it's OK not to force yourself to keep trying. Don't spend months or years dragging it out and criticizing yourself for not being able to make it work. It's OK to choose happiness over self-sacrifice. When one person stops participating in the relationship, it's better for both people if it ends.
Unfortunately, partners often go through mutual misunderstandings, because no one teaches us how to act in a relationship. What we see on TV and in movies, what we are told by many friends, about the behavior of men and women is most often very far from reality. So if you are blaming yourself, I am telling you to stop! It is possible that not everything in the demise of your relationship is your fault! If you would have known exactly what to do to keep your couple in a happy state, I’m sure you would have done everything that depended on you. Most likely you just didn’t have the right information. But everything can still be fixed...
I was insecurebecause usually he’ll call me on lunch time then became like I haven’t got any calls till come home late at night such as 2 a.m. then I get frustrated and let him sleep out in the carthen I get emotional and let him in the house then I just felt like I wasn’t his girlfriend.it was a Friday night he was supposed to come from normal time and bring dinner to he didn’t come the next day so I went to work came home and all his clothes where gone no calls are text message from him.. I had complain a lot.. what should I do to get b him back to love we again.. I’m going to do the no contact b rule ima follow those steps and see how it goes
If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.