Plus, it gives you the time to get past the initial unbearable phase of missing him and into a more even-tempered, secure mentality. Instead of trying to figure out signs your ex still loves you, you’ll be working on yourself and getting yourself into a better mindset. It gives you the space to say, “I don’t need him to be happy – I can be happy all on my own”.
Think about why you want him back. Breakups are never easy, even when the relationship was not a good fit. For this reason, it's crucial to think about your motives for wanting to get your boyfriend back. If you want to get back together because you are sad or lonely or don't like being single, you should probably reconsider. Just because you miss your ex does not mean you should be with him. These feelings will go away eventually, although it may take some time. If you want to get back together because you genuinely care for your ex and you can see yourself having a future with him, then go ahead and try to get him back![2]
You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.
Please save our relationship. I come to you cause my hurts without the that i love he is my everything. I just dont understand where we lost each other we are two strong persons in willing. I pray that he will come and find his way back to me. We love each other i know that we do. We just need your hands to guide us back to one another. I know in my heart i bleed for all forgiveness that done wrong and i know he has done wrong as much as i have plz forgive us and give us the strength to find our way back to each other in the name of Jesus Christ our saviour plz help us to be together💔 

If you think that by being friends with your ex, you can stay in their lives and hopefully get back together again, you are just plain wrong. By being friends you are not giving yourself and your ex enough time and space to heal. Not to mention, you will probably end up getting friendzoned by your ex. You could end up listening to your ex complaining about their new lovers (cue : Ex-girlfriends)  or they might propose being friends with benefits (cue: Ex-boyfriends).

My partner and I have been together a little over two years but recently broke up (he broke up with me) and I want to follow all these rules, as I believe I am strong enough to do it and I absolutely want him back however we do currently live together and study at the same school. I’m living in a new town and don’t have any family or friends here so providing space is hard. What do I do???
My ex and I broke up a few weeks ago because he started hanging out with new friends that I never liked because they are all bad boys. After 2 years and 6 months in the relationship he suddenly changed his mind about us. He started texting other girls which he said was his friends he even had pictures of them on his phone. I didn’t like that at all because I saw that these girls are starting to like him. So basically it was my fault he broke up with me for being insecure, clingy and not trusting him. He told me he doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship right now but he still loves me. He wants to explore life without a girlfriend and not wanting to hurt me when he meet up with new girls and such. I really do love him with all my heart, and maybe he just needs some space to think, or maybe our relationship got a bit boring. I am so willing to follow these steps to get him back, I’m so not going to lose him to a bunch of girls!
Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!

Sooo, I reconnected with a girl I knew a couple of decades ago. I had a huge crush on her but both of us were married. I’m not now and spent a lot of time on self improvement, which she gravitated towards as she works her way out of another marriage. After about three months of platonic self help counseling we caved…it was intense for about two months; she started working with a counselor to save the marriage/amicably divorce and suggested I pursue other women for awhile. I backed off, maintaining contact via text/cell about every 3 days; not too heavy subjectwise. Made the mistake of telling her I was doing great without her. After that she shut off contact, and responded to my attempts with a hostile voicemail telling me to stop all contact. I went into no contact mode for two weeks, sent a couple of happy holiday texts, then wrote the no contact letter. A week later her husband comes up and introduces himself, tells me he’s in the middle of his divorce and she’s eligible now but has a boyfriend. I reach out for confirmation and to give her a heads up and ask for a meet and am given a letter with all the nevers (never want to talk to you, never want to see you, never be friends, etc) and threatening to go to the cops over stalking. I know I should cut and run but we got so close in those early months…I don’t want to give that up. I also don’t her throwing the stalking card out to everyone…most of all…don’t want the anger, nor do I understand it. How do I turn this around to platonic at the least and repair it to a couple at best? Yeah I called texted lettered about 20 times in 80 days and maybe drove by her house twice but STALKING? I never raised my voice to this woman.

Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
If your breakup hit you completely unexpectedly and you didn’t see it coming, it’s probably hitting you really hard. You need to pick yourself up from the ground, dig the stiletto out of your still-beating heart and figure out where to go from here. Immediately following the breakup is the pivotal moment where you need to exercise caution. You can’t afford to throw yourself a pity party right now, and chugging a case of beer isn’t going to help clear your mind. You need to get going and take the best possible steps to reconnect your relationship, and you need to start now.
please help me out. my ex broke up with with because she said she was tired of the relationship. i met another lady and we are dating. My ex girl who was in the states has now come back to the country and wants us to trash our differences and make up. but am in another relationship and i love this new girl. However, seeing my ex girl again brought back memories and the love i had for her but scared she will be stubborn again. i dont know who should i continue my life with since my current girl has done nothing to me and also loves me
My ex and I were together 9 yrs. I was clingy, had low self esteem, needy and jealous. The break up was shocking, he took a week and a half to tell me if he wanted space or if he wanted a break up. He was chatting with an 18 year old. He was telling me he doesn’t love me anymore and when he hug me he said he wish he could feel by there is nothing, he withdrew from me emotionally 2 months before we broke up. When I was packing his stuff I found something he wrote that he didn’t find me attractive. After the break up I was trying to convince him and did testing terrorism until he said to text him only when it’s business related. So did one week no contact and called to talk to him about the outstanding bill I was still upset and sent a text to apologize. He called next day and he was upset and sent a text apologizing. I did 2 weeks no contact and called yesterday since he been telling ppl that I wasn’t paying him attention and also thinks I do by love him. So I called and ask if we can meet weekend to talk and he said yes. He still have stuff at my place and he coming to pick some up. Today I went to his work to get my keys from him because he still had my keys. He couldn’t look at me but did when he hand me my keys, I was acting happy. He said so whenever I needn’t get something from the house inbred to contact you and I replied yes I am paying the rent and so I went and havnt made contact however he said he will come weekend.
This will immediately trigger the same reactions in your ex-girlfriend that accepting the breakup from the beginning would have had. She’ll want to know exactly what triggered your change of heart and whether or not you’re getting on with your life. Your ex is counting on the chase, even if she’s not ready to restart a relationship with you. You’re reversing roles and making her want to chase you instead.
I am asking for prayers. As I am going through a rough time, and am doing everything I can to save my relationship, I pray. Lord, I pray and ask you to hear me. I pray that you give me the strength to overcome this trial you have placed in front of me, so I can move forward. I lift up my relationship to you and pray for healing. I pray that the love that I know still remains can be rekindled, and that you restore the connection that was once had. I pray that you remind him of all of the great times you blessed us with, and all of the tribulations we have overcome together. I pray that he knows how much I truly love and cherish him. I pray that you remove any temptation that may be hindering the love we have between us. I pray that you restore the strength within the two of us as one. Lord, I’m asking you to hear my prayers and I thank you for blessing me with this love. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
We texted incessantly for a month and went on our first date to an ice cream festival called The Scooper Bowl. I missed the train, and we kissed. We began a summer fling where we’d walk around Boston holding hands, eating pizza, and watching TV cuddled up on her couch. She made that summer in Boston perfect. It was only two months, but it was unfiltered romance.
Alright, lets say that I was trying to get an ex girlfriend back and I had made it this far into the step by step process I am outlining here. I took out a sheet of paper and wrote down what I thought our best couple experiences were together. For the sake of this page lets say that me and my ex had an experience where we were watching a football game outdoors and it was really cold. She was getting very cold so I offered her my jacket.
Me and my bf have been together for 15 yrs.. on Oct 12 I found out my dad is in the hospital. .he doesn’t text or call me all day..so when I get home I was pissed off..thats my dad..he didn’t even bother texting to see how he was..we get to arguing. .and he breaks up with me..wtf..like an idiot I start begging and begging. . No. .plz..and he just gets so angry with me..I have to leave the house. .I can’t afford it. .all wk moving out and work, stressed, heart broken to the max..and I can’t even be with my dad cuz i’m moving out..thats the worst..there were signs I should have picked up on. .like..he was becoming distant. .we had been kinda fighting but we talked about it..and I was really trying to work on the things we talked about. .I’ve been calling, texting. .of course. .I mean hello. .our entire lives are together. .but no answer. .no reply. .today is my birthday. .1 wk to the day we have broken up. .and to be honest I just want to go home..and be with him..at the same time. .we have a lease together. .pets..bank account *which I closed out yesterday* I opened my own..the utilities are in my name..I mean..I have to protect my name right. .at the same time I want to wait and see..ugh!!! He has broken up with me before. .maybe 5, 6 yrs ago..and he basically said he had hit rock bottom. .and blah blah blah..what am I supposed to do? No contact? While I was reading the article some things for sure stood out to me..I need to change myself. .not for him.. for me..I have become lazy..with my self. .and we were kinda on auto pilot. .but thats how life is no? We still did fun things..just not as often..we’re adults..with bills..and responsibilities. .idk..advice? Anyone?
My boyfriend just broke up with me yesterday and trying to start my NC but he doesn’t stop snapchatting me. He did say that he wants to be friends and keep in touch with me. He broke up with me because he has too much going on and need to focus on himself. (at least that’s what he said) I don’t know what to do…. and we were in long distance relationship.
The best thing you can do in this scenario aside from not putting up a fight at all is to actually agree with her. She’s not going to be expecting this reaction. None of her carefully involved scenarios that she practiced before the breakup speech involved your agreement. You just beat her at her own game. She’ll start thinking back to your relationship and wonder why she never realized that you were unsatisfied in the relationship as well.
Here’s my problem, I was begging, pleading, and trying to look pity for my ex-girlfriend just to make her stay. We had sex then goodbye. Then i saw your videos about No Contact Rules. Following your advice about no contact rules was hard as hell. My target is FULL 30 DAYS no contact but in my two weeks of battle. Suddenly she texted me, i try to ignore her, then she call me using other number so we talked since its likely rude to ignore her at all. She told me she wasn’t happy in her new bf. She felt sorry for me. She’s asking me if there was any chance to rebuild our relationship?Is she still welcome to my life? I told her i am awesome now, i currently dating to someone else the she get madly jealous. She doesn’t want me to date others.She really want to see me but ill be the one who refuse to see her. I told her i will only see you when you come back to me. She wanted me to stick around but u said to your videos not to get in friendzone.
So a perceived ability to attract other women is a GOOD thing when it comes to how to get your ex-girlfriend back, because it boosts your mate value in your ex’s mind. The key word there is “perceived”. Perceived ability to attract other women. You don’t have to actually be able to attract lots of new women, you just have to get your ex THINKING that you could. 

True intimacy involves self-reflection and transparency, both of which play a role in accountability. Self-reflection occurs when each partner can honestly, without pride, examine their thoughts and behaviors and take ownership for their intentions and possible “wrong-doing.” If one or both members of a couple are incapable of doing this, a marriage cannot move forward in a healthy way.


Get some new clothes. New times call for new duds. It's a subtle change in you, but the importance will be clear to her: your new outer shell will signal deeper changes underneath. Get that new shirt that you've been wanting to buy, or those new pair of jeans. Looking sharp is an important aspect of physical attraction, and if she sees you looking great in unfamiliar clothes, she'll sense that there's been forward movement, if not wholesale change.
My ex and me were together for a lil over 4 months, last july we went to california and stayed with his family, after we got back he started acting distant, then he started hanging out with a girl, and kept sneaking off to go hangout with her, i asked him if he wanted us to workout, he said he didnt know what he wanted and he wanted to do his own thang, so i got upset and had a friend tell him i was seeing someone else, he got mad yelled at me and asked me who i kissed, who im dating, and who im cheating on him with, i wasn’t and there was no other guy, i loved him, i just wanted him to come back, well she broke up with him, then he came back to me and asked if we could work it out, i said yes, the next day he was back with her, so when he tried talking to me i was soo upset that i told him to just go be with her and to leave me alone, seeing them together everyday was killing me slowly i couldn’t eat or sleep or focus on my classes for my CNA, he ended up moving away with her Dec. 14, 2012, i was so sad after he left, i started pushing myself harder to get my CNA done, and on March 14, 2013 i passed, Im now a CNA which im very happy about, right now im working on getting a job and a place to live, he lives in Des Moines, i was thinking about moving there, but im heading back to sioux city, only because i dont know anybody in Des Moines, and i have friends and family in sioux city, I still miss him, I still love him, he wrote a friend of mine over facebook and he told her he still has feelings for me, i just wish that he would forget the past and we could start new, ya we had our ups and downs but what couple don’t, i wish that there was someone who could help me get him back i love him.
Need some advice here, my ex girlfriend/ girlfriend just broke it off after a night at the bar. The night started out with a romantic dinner and then we met her friends out at the bar.. We both had a great night until after bar close when we were trying to decide on what we were going to all do the rest of the night.. We ended up getting in an argument about something, to be honest I don’t remember, and she just told me to go home. She proceeded to walk away with her and a few of her guy friends so naturally I got upset. I contemplated on what to do and them decided to walk to her place.. That was obviously not a good decision, when I got there I got upset and accused her of not wanting to be with me and she went on to say that I followed her he and was stalking her which was not my intent at all.. After going back and forth I just flat out asked if we were over and if she even wanted to be with me and she responded no I don’t want to be. I then immediately started to try and plead with her and ask her why and kept trying to get her to talk to me about it and all she did was tell me to leave and go home, which I did after waiting for a cab for an hour.. On the way home in the cab I was so damn upset and sent her a text message that she didn’t care about me and that I was easily replaced by by one of her guy friends that was at her place with everyone.. She responded with what r u talking about and I then responded with I know your sleeping with him I could tell how lit up your face was when you looked at him and then told her one more time that she was going to sleep with him.. She responded back by saying she wasn’t and that I’m crazy. About a half hour goes by and she text me back that she misses me and said that she was getting a cab to come over.. So she came over and apologized for being a brat and apologized for the night.. I then asked her why she got so mad and she said she didn’t remember.. So I let it be figured we would talk in the morning about it, so we had sex and went to bed. The next morning comes and I try to talk to her and she said she didn’t want to talk about it so I did what I shouldn’t have and prayed at her a little bit to get her to talk and she flipped out and said I just want to go home so asked her again do you even want to be with me and she said I don’t know. I brought her home and when I dropped her off I asked if I could have a kiss and we kissed and she said ill talk to you later.. She finally got back to me 14 hrs later and said that she didn’t feel good and had been sleeping all day which I guess I can understand after a full night of drinking.. I did send her a text and left her a voicemail saying how torn up and confused I am about everything but didn’t say it in a demanding way at all.. The next day I sent her another message in the afternoon asking her if she would have time to talk in person and she said yea.. Being absolutely heartbroken at this point I decided to make her a huge bouquet of flower along with a handwritten card apologizing for everything that happened.. I brought them over to her place and she was still sleeping saying she didn’t feel good so I just dropped th off and we agreed to talk tomarow about things.. I’m just so confused right now, I know we have only been seeing each other for 2 months but I don’t understand how things coul end like they did I have been in this 100%and treat her like an absolute queen.. What should I so here I don’t want to loose this girl she is absolutely one of a kind and I genuinely care for her
it has been difficult at times to accept the fact from him that his father would never be ready to accept our relationship. in other words, i am scared to fall apart without him. although i neglect the fact that i am not much attached to him. but all these words are utterly false whereas i am deeply in love with him and fail to imagine my life without him. Father,my lord,its true i have never longed for him and now the situation is when i don’t want to abandon him. i love him. i really love him and want to hold him closer to me for ever and ever after.
Some of these problems include conflicts about who does what about the house or who decides what to do on a particular weekend.  Other problems dissolve when it is understood– however long it takes to make the other person understand– just how strongly that person feels about certain matters. Examples of these solvable problems are: how much time one person spends at work or away from the other, which chores are really very difficult for the other person, how much sex they should have, how to handle disobedient children, how to spend money as investments or on vacation, how messy or clean the house should be, who does the cleaning, how to deal with fears of one sort or another. One spouse is not made weaker by considering what the other needs or wants.
Remember, the no contact rule isn’t about him, it’s about you. You’re not cutting off contact to try to spite him, you’re giving yourself time and space to heal from the breakup. That is the goal. The byproduct is that he will most likely miss you during this time and yearn for you and while he’s doing that, you’re becoming a better and stronger version of yourself!
I have one for you guys! I started dating this girl that in my mind is the perfect one! I mean I couldnt possibly build a better woman. Well after 4 years of dating we broke up because she was tired of my habbits.!? Well we have been broken up now for three years and she still calls and texts every day. When I go to her house for the night she sleeps in her bed alone. She helps me in any way I need. (Bails me outta jail, pays my phone bill, buys me sweet gifts, ect.)
My boyfriend and I broke up 4 days ago.i left him bc he wasnt appreciating me enough and then the next day i decided i wanted to be back together and just try and work through things as a couple.he has been ignoring all of my phone and won’t speak to me at all.we work together so things are ten times harder I just want him back we have been through so much and I just can’t picture my life without him. he has told me this is it but we have done this so many times its almost a weekly thing. This time i went way to far though after being rejected by him the last time I lied to him by telling him he was a terrible boyfriend and even worse in bed(complete lied ,he rocked my world) I just wanted to hit below the belt and make him feel how I was feeling.I also lied and told him i had been cheating on him this whole time. Sounds crazy i know I just lost it. I really hopes this works bc i don’t want to loose the love of my life,my bestfriend,my soulmate all bc I lost it .any words of advice?
Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.
Literally, my heart is breaking. I can’t get past this guy and today is the first day he hasn’t reached out since we broke up. Childhood sweetheart and 18 years of off and on. He still can’t commit and i still can’t walk away. My friends have had it listening to me cry, so here I am commenting…. while he chats up every female with a pulse. And I still want him back ?
When negative things happen, avoid being critical or contemptuous. Don’t say things that begin with “You never…,” “You always…,” or (my favorite) “You’re such a…” Calmly explain why you see the situation, not the spouse, as negative, and why it upsets you. In the ensuing conversation don’t get defensive, but don’t refuse to talk, either. Inject a little positivity into the conversation or argument. For example, try a little humor to lighten up the situation a bit, if you think your spouse would be receptive. If the humor backfires, simply be honest and explain that you want to diffuse the tension and you really don’t want to fight.
Give yourself permission to stop trying when you're ready. No matter how good things used to be, or how much one party wants the relationship to keep going, sometimes it's clear that it has to end. If you've already put in effort trying to save the relationship, and you no longer feel love or the will to try to reignite it, it's OK not to force yourself to keep trying. Don't spend months or years dragging it out and criticizing yourself for not being able to make it work. It's OK to choose happiness over self-sacrifice. When one person stops participating in the relationship, it's better for both people if it ends.

You need to give her space for three reasons: 1) People simply need space; if you can't give her any space, maybe that's something you can work on to show her that you've changed. 2) She'll get an opportunity to realize how good you are; not that she doesn't know this already, but she may not feel it in her bones. 3) You'll show her how independent you are on your own; the "rebel" is so attractive to women because he's totally on his own and doesn't need other people.[4]
To improve your self-esteem, concentrate on your strengths in all areas: emotional, social, talents and skills, appearance, and any others that are important to you. For example, you might have natural empathy, the ability to make people feel understood, a talent for baking, and gorgeous hair. Focusing on the positive and ignoring the negative can help you to feel adequate and valuable as an individual, especially when you connect the best parts of yourself to helping others.[9] If you feel useless, make yourself useful! Take your natural empathy and talent for baking and bake some fresh cookies for your elderly neighbors.

I was with my ex for 1 year and 3 months. Before our one year anniversary he told me he doesn’t feel the same way about me as he did before. He just said he fell out of love with me. I begged for him to stay and he stayed with me. Our relationship seemed fine but then in January he became super distant and I had a feeling he cheated on me so I asked him and he was honest about it. We broke up for a day then we got back together and on February16th he broke up with me. Almost every time I saw him before that I made the mistake of trying to figure out why he didn’t love me and how to fix it. I kept asking him serious questions and answers to fix the problem. I thought it would magically make him love me again. After he broke up with me I begged for him to stay for about a week and I am now trying no contact. Will no contact work? Should I just give up? Is it too late? I love him do much
Spend time with good friends. One of the best ways to source yourself is to put yourself in the company of good friends. Good friends remind you of who you really are. They can give you a new perspective on things and can generally be fun to be around. Good friends serve as one of the best distractions as opposed to eating a bucket of ice cream and watching Netflix all alone because they can help to build you up in the meantime and leave you more empowered, stronger, and more in touch with who you are. It might be worth it to define who good friends are.Good friends are friends that help you choose the most useful and empowering interpretation of your situation. They don’t look to blame or help you wallow in self-pity. They have compassion for you, yet believe that you are inherently fine. They remind you of how fun you are and how much life itself has to offer. Spending time with people like this will feed your soul. During this time take advantage of everything these wonderful people in your life have to offer. Plan a trip. See that show you all always wanted to see. Do all the things that make you feel alive and do it in good company.
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